Over the years BMT has become so ingrained within our lives that, like with many marriages, we take it for granted. Perhaps we get that seven year itch (although I guess this is more like a five year itch?), maybe our eyes wander, we flirt with other hobbies, but all of a sudden we look over at BMT and it strikes us: this hobby is damn sexy and we got to fight to keep it! We got to show it we appreciate it! We won’t take you for granted anymore baby, let’s spice up our lives (uh oh, this got weird like three sentences ago).
And that’s where these little fun BMT themed challenges came in. We like to challenge ourselves, and sometimes it ends up even being fun … for a bit, then it turns into a literal hellscape. But until that point, regardless of the motivation, we strive onwards and upwards. So far we’ve completed one challenge, the mapl.de.map, and just started on the (366) Days of Bummer. And hopefully more will come in the future, spicing up our BMT lives forever more.
The mapl.de.map started (oddly) on the two year anniversary of BMT (exactly, January 31 2013). We named it mapl.de.map because at that point we had seen all of the Black Eyed Peas in a BMT movie (Fergie in Poseidon, will.i.am in Wolverine Origins, and Taboo in Street Fighter Legend of Chun Li), except for apl.de.ap. We dreamed of the day apl.de.ap would make his solo film debut, and we’d complete the map. But until then we thought we’d cover the other 52 states of these great United States of America plus the District of Columbia (we have, of course, secretly annexed Nicholas Cage’s Castle Island and Chris Klein’s principality LudaChris Kleinsville). After nearly three years we completed this endeavor. Below is the completed map and a list of state/film combinations. Enjoy.
- Alabama – Sweet Home Alabama
- Alaska – Out Cold
- Aple.de.ap – Be Cool
- Arizona – American Anthem
- Arkansas – Devil’s Knot
- Cage’s Castle Island – Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance
- California – Valentine’s Day
- Colorado – Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem
- Connecticut – The Haunting in Connecticut
- Delaware – Survival of the Dead
- District of Columbia – Temptation: Confessions of a Marriage Counselor
- Florida – From Justin to Kelly
- Georgia – Sabotage
- Hawaii – Just Go With It
- Idaho – Georgia Rule
- Illinois – The Lake House
- Indiana – Hard Rain
- Iowa – A Thousand Acres
- Kansas – Critters 2: The Main Course
- Kentucky – Fire Down Below
- Louisiana – Failure to Launch
- LudaChris Kleinsville – Say It Isn’t So
- Maine – Welcome to Mooseport
- Maryland – The Pacifier
- Massachusetts – The Haunting
- Michigan – Alex Cross
- Minnesota – Stuart Saves His Family
- Mississippi – Stone Cold
- Missouri – American Outlaws
- Montana – Chill Factor
- Nebraska – Mr. Woodcock
- Nevada – Paul Blart Mall Cop 2
- New Hampshire – What Goes Up
- New Jersey – Nothing But Trouble
- New Mexico – The Host
- New York – New York Minute
- North Carolina – Safe Haven
- North Dakota – Leprechaun
- Ohio – I Am Number Four
- Oklahoma – Into the Storm
- Oregon – Furry Vengeance
- Pennsylvania – Lady in the Water
- Rhode Island – Evening
- South Carolina – The Marine
- South Dakota – Wild Bill
- Tennessee – An American Haunting
- Texas – Bats
- Utah – September Dawn
- Vermont – A Change of Seasons
- Virginia – Playing for Keeps
- Washington – Firewall
- West Virginia – Silent Hill Revelation
- Wisconsin – The Prince & Me
- Wyoming – Did You Hear About the Morgans?
We eventually settled for a final apl.de.ap movie of Be Cool (featuring all of the Black Eyed Peas in a ridiculous concert performance) and completed the map on October 8, 2015. It was one of the greatest days of our lives.
Mapstreet’s Map Alright!
After literally years of toiling away at our many challenges that spice up our BMT lives we thought to ourselves: is this fruitless? We aren’t even half-way through the Calendar. We can’t ever finish the Periodic Table. What is the point? And so we packed it all in and, that’s right, created the next big challenge for BMT! Get your passports updated and buy a rail pass, the Sklogs are backpacking across Europe!
It … is beautiful. For now you’ll have to pull out your atlas to figure out the missing countries, but here is what we have filled in so far in the history of BMT:
- (2) Austria – Extreme Ops
- (4) Bulgaria – Getaway (Expendables 3)
- (5) Bosnia and Herzegovina – Behind Enemy Lines
- (9) Germany – Unfinished Business (Hitman: Agent 47; Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters)
- (11) Spain – Assassin’s Creed (The Gunman)
- (14) France – Timeline (The Three Musketeers; Under the Cherry Moon, The 15:17 to Paris)
- (15) United Kingdom – The Avengers (1998) (England: Spice World; Basic Instinct 2; Seeker: The Dark is Rising; The Mummy; Seventh Son; Mortdecai; Diana; London Has Fallen; Garfield: A Tail of Two Kitties; Scotland: Made of Honor)
- (16) Greece – Meet the Spartans (The Legend of Hercules; Captain Corelli’s Mandolin)
- (18) Hungary – I Spy
- (19) Ireland – The Medallion
- (27) Monaco – Monte Carlo
- (32) The Netherlands – Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo
- (33) Norway – The Snowman
- (36) Romania – Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance (The Nun)
- (37) Russia – A Good Day to Die Hard (Hitman)
- (43) Ukraine – Chernobyl Diaries
- (45) Chateaux de Depardieu – Babylon A.D.
A few ground rules for the new map. (1) The film needs to have a significant portion of the film take place in the country; (2) Films with higher BMeTrics replace those with lower BMeTrics once watched. For example, when we watched Meet the Spartans it took the place of The Legend of Hercules for Greece; (3) Only one country / state per movie. For example, The Prince & Me takes place in both Wisconsin and Denmark, but Wisconsin wins because more of the movie takes place there; (4) It has to be visually provable. Wikipedia isn’t actual confirmation, verifiable proof is required.
That’s a lot of ground rules, just the way I like it. This will also never end. Even large countries like Sweden, Finland, and Denmark basically don’t have any major poorly received released set there as far as we can tell. But the Bad Movie Twins love to travel, what can we say. Let the challenge begin!
The Periodic Table of Smellements
As everyone knows by now we can become obsessed with tiny insignificant details within movies. The Mapl.d.map celebrated the settings of films, the (366) Days of Bummer the release date. It is about time we celebrated with simplest detail of all: the title. Originally conceived as the Chris Klein Number Line we dubbed numbers found within titles to be Klein numbers. But that didn’t seem exciting or interactive enough. So after 46 straight days of brainstorming we came up with the Periodic Table of Smellements:
1 – Heiglium (Hg): One for the Money (Isotopes: Year One, Atlas Shrugged: Part I, One Missed Call. Scientists continue to study whether The Single Moms Club, and First Daughter can be classified as Heiglium, or whether they are something more sinister … Known forms: The Part I Form often refers to movies based on books that have been split into two or more parts.)
2 – Sequellium (Sq): Cradle 2 the Grave (Isotopes: 2 Fast 2 Furious, Crank 2: High Voltage, Troll 2, Weekend at Bernie’s 2, Grown Ups 2, Highlander 2: The Quickening, Caddyshack II, A Haunted House 2, Atlas Shrugged: Part II, Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2, Critters 2: The Main Course, Zoolander 2, Cheaper by the Dozen 2, Basic Instinct 2, Ride Along 2, Big Momma’s House 2, RoboCop 2, Friday the 13th Part 2, Miss Congeniality 2 Armed and Fabulous, Species II, Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2, The Ring Two, Speed 2: Cruise Control, Cannonball Run II, Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment, Predator 2, Jungle 2 Jungle. Scientists continue to study whether Double Team can be grouped with these isotopes. Known forms: After years of diligent work a non-sequel form of this smellement was found! Non-sequel Sequellium appears to mimic the properties of the more common sequel form without having the stability of a prequel. The confounds and delights the BMT scientists worldwide!)
3 – Planchetium (P): The Three Musketeers (Isotopes: Legend of Hercules 3D, Atlas Shrugged: Part III, Expendables 3, RoboCop 3, Friday the 13th Part III, Superman III, Jaws 3-D, Beverly Hills Cop III. Known forms: The Trilogy form is the most common form of Planchetium, although the Three Dimensional form can also be seen in nature)
4 – Pettyferium (Pt): I Am Number Four (Isotopes: Fantastic Four, Superman IV: The Quest for Peace)
5 – Moretzium (Mt): Fifth Wave (Isotopes: Scary Movie 5, Star Trek V: The Final Frontier. Known forms: The Fifth Installment form is becoming increasingly more common in the BMTverse)
6 – Netflixium (Ne): Ridiculous 6 (Isotopes: Leonard Part 6)
7 – Bridgesium (Br): Seventh Son (Isotopes: Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood)
8 – ?? (??): (Isotopes: Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan)
9 – Spacesium (Sc): Nine Lives (Isotopes: Plan 9 from Outer Space)
10 – Willisium (W): The Whole Ten Yards (Isotopes: Jason X)
12 – Martinium (Mn): Cheaper By the Dozen (Isotopes: Cheaper by the Dozen 2)
13 – Lillardium (Li): Thir13en Ghosts (Isotopes: Friday the 13th Part 2, Friday the 13th Part III, Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter, Friday the 13th: A New Beginning, Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood, Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan, Friday the 13th (2009), The 13th Warrior. Known forms: The Friday the 13th Form is by far the most abundant form of this smellement)
15 – Clintium (Cl): The 15:17 to Paris (Note: With Clintium, Eastwoodium forms a natural alloy, the only known form of either element)
17 – Eastwoodium (Ea): The 15:17 to Paris (Note: With Clintium, Eastwoodium forms a natural alloy, the only known form of either element)
19 – Weddinium (We): Table 19
22 – Wahlbergium (Wa): Mile 22
23 – Fingerlingium (Fl): The Number 23
43 – Ensemblium (Es): Movie 43
47 – Assassinium (As): Hitman: Agent 47
48 – Noltenium (No): Another 48 Hrs.
50 – Eroticisium (Er): Fifty Shades of Grey (Isotopes: Fifty Shades Darker, Fifty Shades of Black, Fifty Shades Freed. Known forms: The Fifty Shades form is the only known example of this smellement)
54 – Televisium (Te): Car 54, Where Are You?
60 – Minutium (Mi): Gone in 60 Seconds
80 – Cooganium (Co): Around the World in 80 Days
88 – Pacinogen (Pa): 88 Minutes
1000 – Zeronium (Zr): A Thousand Words (Isotopes: A Thousand Acres)
2012 – Rolandium (Rn): 2012
3000 – Costnerium (Cs): 3000 Miles to Graceland
10000 – Beeceesium (Be): 10,000 BC
Note: The existence of quantum elements in the BMTverse is something of great controversy, is Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood really Lillardium or Bridgesium? The world may never know, but our tireless researchers persevere.
Do not be daunted by the lack of detail, we are planning on filling in many of the elements using the newly minted games category of BMT, but the potential is limitless, don’t you see? Atomic weights, ions, isotopes, a fierce debate over whether First Daughter is a “one” movie because we all know The Fifth Wave is a “five” movie!! Can 8 Million Ways to Die really have 8 Million protons? (Yes, it does, the wonders of the BMT universe). Many elements remain to be discovered in the years to come, this game will literally never end!
(366) Days of Bummer
After completing the map in 2015 we searched high and low for our next conquest.We finally settled on looking for movies released on specific days of the year (including leap day). We will almost definitely never complete this, but it would be an impressive accomplishment. It is pointless discussing it because it won’t happen … but it would be cool if it did, right? This is the 2016 Calendar with a list of each movie following the months. It should be noted these are worst films we could pick for each day in our estimation, and, a note that starting in 2018 … we have to watch the films in the capacity of BMT for them to count! Just terrible decision making always at the BMT Media Empire HQ. The movies we have have not seen are faded out (for now …). Stay tuned. Progress: Watched 169/366 Films
January Movie Titles (Watched 15/31 Films): (1) Madman; (2) The Woman in Black 2: Angel of Death; (3) Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones; (4) One Missed Call; (5) Code Name: The Cleaner; (6) BloodRayne; (7) Season of the Witch; (8) Leap Year; (9) The Unborn; (10) The Legend of Hercules; (11) In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale; (12) Bio-Dome; (13) DeepStar Six; (14) Elektra; (15) Virus; (16) Torque; (17) Devil’s Due; (18) Snow Dogs; (19) The Hitcher; (20) Underworld: Awakening; (21) Are We There Yet?; (22) Legion; (23) Spice World; (24) I, Frankenstein; (25) Meet the Spartans; (26) Epic Movie; (27) Big Momma’s House 2; (28) Alone in the Dark; (29) When in Rome; (30) The Big Bounce; (31) Biker Boyz
February Movie Titles (Watched 15/29 Films): (1) The Eye; (2) Valentine; (3) When a Stranger Calls; (4) The Roommate; (5) Simply Irresistible; (6) Seventh Son; (7) Vampire Academy; (8) Rollerball; (9) Norbit; (10) The Pink Panther; (11) Snow Day; (12) My Favorite Martian; (13) Friday the 13th (2009); (14) Daredevil; (15) Crossroads; (16) Ghost Rider; (17) Freedomland; (18) Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son; (19) Jawbreaker; (20) Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen; (21) Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot; (22) Queen of the Damned; (23) Monkeybone; (24) Madea’s Family Reunion; (25) Hercules in New York; (26) Cop Out; (27) Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li; (28) Cradle 2 the Grave; (29) Semi-Pro
March Movie Titles (Watched 17/31 Films): (1) The Last Exorcism Part II; (2) Wild Hogs; (3) Ultraviolet; (4) The Pacifier; (5) Amos & Andrew; (6) Unfinished Business; (7) 10,000 BC; (8) The Time Machine; (9) A Thousand Words; (10) The Shaggy Dog; (11) Red Riding Hood; (12) Baby Geniuses; (13) Miss March; (14) The Single Moms Club; (15) Showtime; (16) Exit Wounds; (17) Leviathan; (18) The Ring Two; (19) The Bounty Hunter; (20) Burglar; (21) Boat Trip; (22) Sorority Boys; (23) Say It Isn’t So; (24) Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous; (25) Johnny Be Good; (26) Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed; (27) 12 Rounds; (28) Basic; (29) Temptation: Confessions of a Marriage Counselor; (30) Wrath of the Titans; (31) Basic Instinct 2
April Movie Titles (Watched 15/30 Films): (1) Hop; (2) Cop and a Half; (3) Lost in Space; (4) Are We Done Yet?; (5) The Reaping; (6) Along Came a Spider; (7) Ready to Rumble; (8) Arthur; (9) The Whole Ten Yards; (10) Dragonball: Evolution; (11) Anaconda; (12) Scary Movie 5; (13) Redline; (14) The Wild; (15) Cops and Robbersons; (16) Bulletproof Monk; (17) Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2; (18) 88 Minutes; (19) Celtic Pride; (20) Freddy Got Fingered; (21) Red Scorpion; (22) Bad Girls; (23) The Back-up Plan; (24) The Informers; (25) The Real Cancun; (26) Jason X; (27) Driven; (28) The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas; (29) xXx: State of the Union; (30) Godsend
May Movie Titles (Watched 14/31 Films): (1) Ghosts of Girlfriends Past; (2) Made of Honor; (3) Gymkata; (4) Lucky You; (5) An American Haunting; (6) House of Wax; (7) New York Minute; (8) Hot Pursuit; (9) Daddy Day Care; (10) The New Guy; (11) Delta Farce; (12) Battlefield Earth; (13) Monster-in-Law; (14) Just Wright; (15) Ishtar; (16) Pokemon Heroes; (17) Mannequin: On the Move; (18) What to Expect When You’re Expecting; (19) See No Evil; (20) Godzilla; (21) Sliver; (22) Encino Man; (23) Cobra; (24) Spy Hard; (25) Beverly Hills Cop III; (26) Johnny Mnemonic; (27) Sex and the City 2; (28) Soul Plane; (29) Almost Heroes; (30) Gone Fishin’; (31) After Earth
June Movie Titles (Watched 18/30 Films): (1) The Animal; (2) Big Momma’s House; (3) The Cowboy Way; (4) Marmaduke; (5) Land of the Lost; (6) Raw Deal; (7) Bad Company; (8) Another 48 Hrs.; (9) Congo; (10) The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl 3-D; (11) Grease 2; (12) Dirty Work; (13) Speed 2: Cruise Control; (14) Scooby-Doo; (15) DOA: Dead or Alive; (16) Garfield: A Tail of Two Kitties; (17) Superman III; (18) Jonah Hex; (19) Year One; (20) Batman & Robin; (21) Juwanna Mann; (22) Rhinestone; (23) White Chicks; (24) Bewitched; (25) Grown Ups; (26) Max; (27) Transformers: Age of Extinction; (28) Striptease; (29) Cannonball Run II; (30) Wild Wild West
July Movie Titles (Watched 13/31 Films): (1) The Last Airbender; (2) Legally Blonde 2: Red, White & Blonde; (3) Red Sonja; (4) Scary Movie 2; (5) Weekend at Bernie’s; (6) Jetsons: The Movie; (7) King Arthur; (8) Zookeeper; (9) Sleepover; (10) Cool World; (11) Meet Dave; (12) Grown Ups 2; (13) Captivity; (14) Little Man; (15) Staying Alive; (16) A Cinderella Story; (17) Kazaam; (18) Sex Tape; (19) R.I.P.D.; (20) Navy Seals; (21) Lady in the Water; (22) Caddyshack II; (23) Catwoman; (24) Superman IV: The Quest for Peace; (25) Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life; (26) The Country Bears; (27) I Know Who Killed Me; (28) Nutty Professor II: The Klumps; (29) Stealth; (30) Thunderbirds; (31) The Smurfs 2
August Movie Titles (Watched 14/31 Films): (1) Howard the Duck; (2) The Master of Disguise; (3) Bratz; (4) Virtuosity; (5) The Dukes of Hazzard; (6) Little Black Book; (7) Fantastic Four; (8) Xanadu; (9) Double Impact; (10) Rush Hour 3; (11) Zoom; (12) Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo; (13) AVP: Alien vs. Predator; (14) The Avengers; (15) Steel; (16) The Adventures of Pluto Nash; (17) Supercross; (18) Material Girls; (19) Color of Night; (20) Teaching Mrs. Tingle; (21) Post Grad; (22) My Boss’s Daughter; (23) The Island of Dr. Moreau; (24) The Apparition; (25) The Art of War; (26) It’s Pat; (27) Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2; (28) Halloween II; (29) College; (30) Getaway; (31) Bolero
September Movie Titles (Watched 14/30 Films): (1) Crossover; (2) A Sound of Thunder; (3) Boxing Helena; (4) All About Steve; (5) The Order; (6) Swimfan; (7) The Musketeer; (8) The Covenant; (9) Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star; (10) The Real McCoy; (11) Whiteout; (12) Righteous Kill; (13) Stealing Harvard; (14) Dragon Wars: D-War; (15) The Black Dahlia; (16) I Don’t Know How She Does It; (17) Alpha and Omega; (18) Love Happens; (19) Cold Creek Manor; (20) Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever; (21) Glitter; (22) Showgirls; (23) Abduction; (24) First Daughter; (25) Fame; (26) Nights in Rodanthe; (27) The Tuxedo; (28) The Game Plan; (29) School for Scoundrels; (30) Into the Blue
October Movies Titles (Watched 14/31 Films): (1) Drive Me Crazy; (2) A Night at the Roxbury; (3) Left Behind; (4) Suburban Commando; (5) Feel the Noise; (6) Taxi; (7) The Specialist; (8) My Soul to Take; (9) Holy Man; (10) House of the Dead; (11) Swept Away; (12) Corky Romano; (13) The Marine; (14) The Fog; (15) The Beverly Hillbillies; (16) The Stepfather; (17) Max Payne; (18) Cool as Ice; (19) Alex Cross; (20) Never Talk to Strangers; (21) Doom; (22) Bats; (23) Soldier; (24) Ouija; (25) Ghost Ship; (26) Silent Hill: Revelation 3D; (27) Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2; (28) The Legend of Zorro; (29) Fatal Instinct; (30) Fatal Beauty; (31) The Haunting of Molly Hartley
November Movie Titles (Watched 10/30 Films): (1) Highlander II: The Quickening; (2) The One; (3) Fair Game; (4) Double Dragon; (5) The Bachelor; (6) Passenger 57; (7) Jessabelle; (8) Transylvania 6-5000; (9) Get Rich or Die Tryin’; (10) Little Nicky; (11) Jack and Jill; (12) Skyline; (13) I Still Know What You Did Last Summer; (14) Dumb and Dumber To; (15) Half Past Dead; (16) Missing in Action; (17) It Takes Two; (18) Amityville 3-D; (19) Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason; (20) Teen Wolf Too; (21) Dr. Seuss’ The Cat in the Hat; (22) Deck the Halls; (23) In the Mix; (24) Alexander; (25) Old Dogs; (26) The Haunted Mansion; (27) Eight Crazy Nights; (28) Dutch*; (29) Son in Law*; (30) Texas Rangers
* We have yet to find a bad movie (or even many movies) released for these dates. We replaced these with Thanksgiving movies of our choosing.
December Movie Titles (Watched 10/31 Films): (1) Van Wilder 2: The Rise of Taj; (2) Aeon Flux; (3) The Warrior’s Way; (4) Serious Moonlight; (5) Honey; (6) Daylight; (7) Playing for Keeps; (8) Dungeons & Dragons; (9) The Sitter; (10) Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit; (11) Jack Frost; (12) The Day the Earth Stood Still; (13) The Hot Chick; (14) Look Who’s Talking Too; (15) Dude, Where’s My Car?; (16) Two of a Kind; (17) Yogi Bear; (18) Did You Hear About the Morgans?; (19) Annie; (20) Walking with Dinosaurs 3D; (21) Cheaper by the Dozen 2; (22) Little Fockers; (23) Street Fighter; (24) Christmas with the Kranks*; (25) Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem; (26) Four Christmases*; (27) Fred Claus*; (28) Jingle All the Way*; (29) Ghost in the Machine; (30) Poseidon*; (31) New Year’s Eve*
* We have yet to find a bad movie (or even many movies) released for these dates. We replaced these with Christmas and New Years movies of our choosing.