BMT Challenges

Over the years BMT has become so ingrained within our lives that, like with many marriages, we take it for granted. Perhaps we get that seven year itch (although I guess this is more like a five year itch?), maybe our eyes wander, we flirt with other hobbies, but all of a sudden we look over at BMT and it strikes us: this hobby is damn sexy and we got to fight to keep it! We got to show it we appreciate it! We won’t take you for granted anymore baby, let’s spice up our lives (uh oh, this got weird like three sentences ago).

And that’s where these little fun BMT themed challenges came in. We like to challenge ourselves, and sometimes it ends up even being fun … for a bit, then it turns into a literal hellscape. But until that point, regardless of the motivation, we strive onwards and upwards. So far we’ve completed one challenge, the mapl.de.map, and just started on the (366) Days of Bummer. And hopefully more will come in the future, spicing up our BMT lives forever more.


Mapl.de.map

The mapl.de.map started (oddly) on the two year anniversary of BMT (exactly, January 31 2013). We named it mapl.de.map because at that point we had seen all of the Black Eyed Peas in a BMT movie (Fergie in Poseidon, will.i.am in Wolverine Origins, and Taboo in Street Fighter Legend of Chun Li), except for apl.de.ap. We dreamed of the day apl.de.ap would make his solo film debut, and we’d complete the map. But until then we thought we’d cover the other 52 states of these great United States of America plus the District of Columbia (we have, of course, secretly annexed Nicholas Cage’s Castle Island and Chris Klein’s principality LudaChris Kleinsville). After nearly three years we completed this endeavor. Below is the completed map and a list of state/film combinations. Enjoy.

Go to our new Mapl.d.map page!


The Periodic Table of Smellements

As everyone knows by now we can become obsessed with tiny insignificant details within movies. The Mapl.d.map celebrated the settings of films, the (366) Days of Bummer the release date. It is about time we celebrated with simplest detail of all: the title. Originally conceived as the Chris Klein Number Line we dubbed numbers found within titles to be Klein numbers. But that didn’t seem exciting or interactive enough. So after 46 straight days of brainstorming we came up with the Periodic Table of Smellements:

Known Smellements

Smellements

1 – Heiglium (Hg): One for the Money (Isotopes: Year One, Atlas Shrugged: Part I, One Missed Call. Scientists continue to study whether The Single Moms Club, and First Daughter can be classified as Heiglium, or whether they are something more sinister … Known forms: The Part I Form often refers to movies based on books that have been split into two or more parts.)

2 – Sequellium (Sq): Cradle 2 the Grave (Isotopes: 2 Fast 2 Furious, Crank 2: High Voltage, Troll 2, Weekend at Bernie’s 2, Grown Ups 2, Highlander 2: The Quickening, Caddyshack II, A Haunted House 2, Atlas Shrugged: Part II, Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2, Critters 2: The Main Course, Zoolander 2, Cheaper by the Dozen 2, Basic Instinct 2, Ride Along 2, Big Momma’s House 2, RoboCop 2, Friday the 13th Part 2, Miss Congeniality 2 Armed and Fabulous, Species II, Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2, The Ring Two, Speed 2: Cruise Control, Cannonball Run II, Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment, Predator 2, Jungle 2 Jungle, Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace, Rambo: First Blood Part II, The Odd Couple II, Crocodile Dundee II. Scientists continue to study whether Double Team can be grouped with these isotopes. Known forms: After years of diligent work a non-sequel form of this smellement was found! Non-sequel Sequellium appears to mimic the properties of the more common sequel form without having the stability of a prequel. The confounds and delights the BMT scientists worldwide!)

3 – Planchetium (P): The Three Musketeers (Isotopes: Legend of Hercules 3D, Atlas Shrugged: Part III, Expendables 3, RoboCop 3, Friday the 13th Part III, Superman III, Jaws 3-D, Beverly Hills Cop III, Rambo III, Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre III. Known forms: The Trilogy form is the most common form of Planchetium, although the Three Dimensional form can also be seen in nature)

4 – Pettyferium (Pt): I Am Number Four (Isotopes: Fantastic Four, Superman IV: The Quest for Peace)

5 – Moretzium (Mt): Fifth Wave (Isotopes: Scary Movie 5, Star Trek V: The Final Frontier. Known forms: The Fifth Installment form is becoming increasingly more common in the BMTverse)

6 – Netflixium (Ne): Ridiculous 6 (Isotopes: Leonard Part 6)

7 – Bridgesium (Br): Seventh Son (Isotopes: Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood)

8 – ?? (??): (Isotopes: Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan)

9 – Spacesium (Sc): Nine Lives (Isotopes: Plan 9 from Outer Space)

10 – Willisium (W): The Whole Ten Yards (Isotopes: Jason X)

12 – Martinium (Mn): Cheaper By the Dozen (Isotopes: Cheaper by the Dozen 2)

13 – Lillardium (Li): Thir13en Ghosts (Isotopes: Friday the 13th Part 2, Friday the 13th Part III, Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter, Friday the 13th: A New Beginning, Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood, Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan, Friday the 13th (2009), The 13th Warrior. Known forms: The Friday the 13th Form is by far the most abundant form of this smellement)

15 –  Clintium (Cl): The 15:17 to Paris (Note: With Clintium, Eastwoodium forms a natural alloy, the only known form of either element)

17 – Eastwoodium (Ea): The 15:17 to Paris (Note: With Clintium, Eastwoodium forms a natural alloy, the only known form of either element)

19 – Weddinium (We): Table 19

22 – Wahlbergium (Wa): Mile 22

23 – Fingerlingium (Fl): The Number 23

43 – Ensemblium (Es): Movie 43

47 – Assassinium (As): Hitman: Agent 47

48 – Noltenium (No): Another 48 Hrs.

50 – Eroticisium (Er): Fifty Shades of Grey (Isotopes: Fifty Shades Darker, Fifty Shades of Black, Fifty Shades Freed. Known forms: The Fifty Shades form is the only known example of this smellement)

54 – Televisium (Te): Car 54, Where Are You?

60 – Minutium (Mi): Gone in 60 Seconds

80 – Cooganium (Co): Around the World in 80 Days

88 – Pacinogen (Pa): 88 Minutes

Extreme Smellements

1000 – Zeronium (Zr): A Thousand Words (Isotopes: A Thousand Acres)

2012 – Rolandium (Rn): 2012

2000 – Draculinium (Dr): 2000 (Some theorize that a 3000 element exists that is related, but that theory is hotly contested in the literature)

3000 – Costnerium (Cs): 3000 Miles to Graceland

10000 – Beeceesium (Be): 10,000 BC

Note: The existence of quantum elements in the BMTverse is something of great controversy, is Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood really Lillardium or Bridgesium? The world may never know, but our tireless researchers persevere.

Do not be daunted by the lack of detail, we are planning on filling in many of the elements using the newly minted games category of BMT, but the potential is limitless, don’t you see? Atomic weights, ions, isotopes, a fierce debate over whether First Daughter is a “one” movie because we all know The Fifth Wave is a “five” movie!! Can 8 Million Ways to Die really have 8 Million protons? (Yes, it does, the wonders of the BMT universe). Many elements remain to be discovered in the years to come, this game will literally never end!

(366) Days of Bummer

After completing the map in 2015 we searched high and low for our next conquest.We finally settled on looking for movies released on specific days of the year (including leap day). We will almost definitely never complete this, but it would be an impressive accomplishment. It is pointless discussing it because it won’t happen … but it would be cool if it did, right? This is the new and improved auto-updating Calendar with a list of each movie following the months. It should be noted these are worst films we could pick for each day in our estimation, and we have to watch the films in the capacity of BMT for them to count! Just terrible decision making always at the BMT Media Empire HQ. The movies we have have not seen are faded out (for now …). Stay tuned. Progress: Watched 164/366 Films

Calendar

* We have yet to find a bad movie (or even many movies) released for these dates. We replaced these with Christmas (24th, 26th, 27th, and 28th of December), New Years (30th, and 31st of December, plus the 1st of January), Thanksgiving (28th and 29th of November), Fourth of July (5th of July), and Cannes (16th of May) films for now.