Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls Recap


There are so many BMT films that we watched as kids that we never picked up because we sat there thinking, “But we watched that so many times before, that’ll skew our perception.” Darn tootin’! That’s kind of the point. Do we see what made these beloved films BMT qualifiers? Or do we vehemently disagree with their unjust BMT characterization? When Ace Ventura; When Nature Calls came out I think it might have been the funniest movie of all time… check that Billy Madison was the funniest movie of all time, but this was in the upper echelon of funny films. My favorite part? The rhino, duh. Nothing says “a nine-year-old will find this hilarious” more than a completely naked grown man squeezing himself out of the butt of a rhino. Now that I’m a completely naked grown man myself, I’m most anticipating the Monopoly Guy scene. One of the craziest things is the guy who played the Monopoly Guy in this film also played a skinny guy in the film Buddy. So that’s two films he’s in where a gorilla has sex with a human… or am I misremembering the film Buddy?

To recap, Ace Ventura is back, Jack! But this time he’s sad. He lost a raccoon and now has devoted his life to meditation in Tibet. When a representative from the nation of Nibia shows up asking for Ace’s help, the monks at the monastery are thrilled to get rid of him. His task is simple: get back the sacred Great White Bat that has been put up as the dowry for an important wedding between the hostile Wachootoo tribe and the peaceful Wachati tribe. Without it there will be war. Ace is grossed out by the bat, but agrees anyway. In Nibia he is informed of several unsavory suspects by the consul Cadby. He follows numerous leads, but nothing comes of them (other than getting pooped out of a mechanical rhino). When he gets tranquilized it appears to point to the Wachootoo tribe itself, but when he goes to investigate he is put through a series of trials which ultimately proves the innocence of the Wachootoo and instead points to a couple of poachers. This ends up leading to the discovery that the Cadby himself has arranged for war in pursuit of control of the guano trade in the region. Ace confronts Cadby and is able to recover the bat, leaving the consul in the loving grips of a randy gorilla. Ace saves the day, but ultimately earns the ire of the Wachootoo for having (unbeknownst to the viewer) deflowered the bride. THE END.

I still think this film is pretty gosh darn funny. Rewatching the first film along with this, though, does put into perspective just how recently comedy was not just playing with fire, but literally on fire with homophobia, transphobia, and racism. The Ace Ventura films unfortunately have plots that center directly on these stereotypes, so it’s hard to get around. It is something you would have to grapple right off the bat on rewatch. But speaking outside of those terms, I’ve always considered the second film much funnier than the first. It was written with Carrey’s Ace character fully realized. This is certainly true. Way, way funnier. Ace is a cartoon character in a real world in the first film. In the second it’s Ace’s world and we’re living in it. Unfortunately, this also means that almost nothing makes sense. The plot is ludicrously bad, just bopping from joke to joke and eventually “resolving” with a whimper. This doesn’t make it less funny, it just means the second is just not as good of a film as the first… you know, if you were looking for that kind of thing in Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls.

Hot Take Clam Bake! Ace Ventura was obviously killed at the end of this film. Just listen to the plot of Ace Ventura Jr.: “Ace Ventura Jr. is the son of eccentric ‘pet detective’ Ace Ventura, who had disappeared when he was a baby, and is attempting to follow in his footsteps, much to the chagrin of his mother, Melissa, who repeatedly tries to dissuade him from doing so.” First of all, he disappeared when he was a baby. Maybe when he entered a monastery, got wrapped up in a mystery in Africa, and was killed? Maybe that’s when he disappeared? Also, he had a baby with Melissa from the first film. So clearly the birth happened prior to the events of this film. So I better not see Ace Ventura 3 on the horizon unless it’s called Ace Ventura: Ghost Pet Detective. Hot Take Temperature: Miami Beach.



‘Ello everyone! How dare you. HOW DAAAAAAAAAAAAARE YOU. Let’s go!

Sometimes you look into the mirror at your clamshell VHS tape of Hook and whisper “Who am I?” and you realize that those movies you liked as a child are actually bad.

C’mon son, you know that day ain’t today. Ace Ventura is hilarious. Get that thought out of your dirty mind this second!

But sure … both films are a mishmash of misogyny, and homophobia, and transphobia, and oh boy is this film racist but like … it’s Ace Ventura, right?

But like … is it morally wrong to show this film to, say, a 10-year-old? The answer I think is yes. They need more context that doesn’t get clouded by a grown man talking out of his butt (objectively hilarious to a 10-year-old). It is on that Revenge of the Nerds level where you would turn to your child and be like “alright … well I forgot about this, but this part is actually rape and this main nerd should be in prison. The sequel should be Revenge of the Nerds II: Nerds in Prison.” It is on the correct side of Soul Man, but on the wrong side of Revenge (only because you could edit Revenge of the Nerds to eliminate the Nerds’ horrible sex crimes).

Alright, enough of the moral quandary, let’s put that to the side and talk about both movies since I forced my wife to watch them with me because she had (gasp!) never seen either.

Verdict: Jim Carry was a whirlwind. A force of nature. The first movie could barely contain him. There is a script online, and for the most part it matches with the movie that was eventually shot, except that it has none of the Jim Carrey-ness of the eventual films. And reading it you can tell it would have been a pretty lackluster comedy without Carrey’s out of this world performance. My guess is that it never is actually made if not for Carrey signing on. Some producer somewhere knew that the script called for a crazy central performance and they nailed it.

The second embraces the character and feels like it sets up to portray the character well, but then gets waylaid by setting it in Africa which immediately causes issues. They really shouldn’t have gone abroad for the first sequel. They should have gone to Hollywood or New York and just amped up Ace Ventura, but kept the more grounded (less fictional) aspects brought in by setting it in a fictional colonized African country.

Fictional Location Alert (Where?) for the country of Nibia, and given the animals probably supposed to be down near South Africa. Not really but kind of a MacGuffin (Why?) for the Great White Bat. And Worst Twist (How?) for the obvious reveal that the white colonial monster is, well, a monster and is trying to set off a tribal war to consolidate power and exploit the resources of the region. I think this is closest to BMT, only because it is pretty funny, but also bad which makes for a pretty entertaining (if fraught) rewatch.

Read about the long lost sequel to When Nature Calls in the quiz, Cheerios,

The Sklogs


Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls Quiz

Oh, shikaka! Here’s the thing. I’m terrified of bats, but I found myself in a cave just chockablock with ‘em! Needless to say I freaked out, ran out, and smashed my head on a rock. It isn’t a huge deal, but I do have a stage 3 concussion and can’t remember a thing. Do you remember what happened in Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls?

Pop Quiz Hot Shot!

1) The Cliffhanger parody start is a classic. But what animal was he saving?

2) Well, that was an easy one. Nibia needs Ace’s help though! What is the crime that is about to spark war between the two tribes?

3) Ultimately Ace uncovers two clues which eventually lead him to the culprit. The first is a false clue. But what was the second?

4) Name the four challenges Ace has to overcome in the warlike tribe’s village.

5) What happens to the villain ultimately?

Bonus Question: The last we see of Ace he’s running for his life. We know what he’s running from. But where is he running to?


Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls Preview

Jamie and Patrick look around the dance hall in downtown Lebanon, Kansas. People are dosadoing and promenading all the while staring in confusion at their jorts and leather vests. “Remind us again why we’re here? I thought we were gonna feel the rhythm take hold of our hearts… dance for our lives… what a feeling,” Jamie says, annoyed. Michael nods, “Yes, beep boop, The Dudikoffs want you to reconnect with the people. A beautiful artistic experimental dance is one thing. A people-pleasing, flashy dance is another. Time works differently in the catacombs. Beep boop.” Before embarking they had reassembled Michael, but not all the kinks were worked out yet. Jamie leans in close to Patrick’s ear to whisper something even Michael’s robot ears couldn’t hear. “Let’s blow this joint. Why not just go back to NYC and finish the Platonic Solids Series?” Patrick tended to agree. His neck had been itching for the feel of his cable knit sweater. Just as they turn to leave, though, an announcement rings out over the sound system. “Ladies and gentleman, start your engines because our special guest is here to show you how it’s done. ‘It’ is comedy. ‘It’ is sex appeal. ‘It’ is close-up magic. ‘He’ is three time Teen Choice Award nominee, one time People’s Choice Nominee, and current host of smash hit America is Very Good… Kevin James!” The crowd goes bananas. Kevin James emerges from a nearby restroom, grabs a microphone, and alerts all the attendees of the event that they should not go in there, implying that he destroyed the toilet. The crowd is laughing so hard that several of them faint. Jamie and Patrick turn around to find Kevin James staring directly at them from the stage mouthing the words “fuck you, Bad Movie Twins.” That’s right! Every once in a while you have to pick up a classic and this is one of those times. Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls was a smash hit, both financially and in our hearts. Let’s go!

Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls (1995) – BMeTric: 21.9; Notability: 41 – BMeTric: top 21.6%; Notability: top 12.0%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 16.3%; Higher BMeT: Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation, Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers, Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace, Vampire in Brooklyn, Fair Game, Showgirls, Jury Duty, Batman Forever, Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, Congo, Theodore Rex, The Babysitter, Under Siege 2: Dark Territory, A Kid in King Arthur’s Court, Candyman: Farewell to the Flesh, Judge Dredd, Nine Months, The Scarlet Letter, Johnny Mnemonic, Virtuosity, and 34 more; Higher Notability: Batman Forever, Congo, Judge Dredd, Cutthroat Island, Under Siege 2: Dark Territory, Virtuosity, Showgirls, Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, Four Rooms, Money Train, Panther, Jefferson in Paris, Jade, Assassins, Things to Do in Denver When You’re Dead, Hackers, Canadian Bacon, Just Cause, Nine Months, Dangerous Minds, and 10 more; Lower RT: The Big Green, Jury Duty, National Lampoon’s Senior Trip, Theodore Rex, Delta of Venus, Born to Be Wild, The Walking Dead, Top Dog, A Kid in King Arthur’s Court, The Hunted, It Takes Two, Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers, Bushwhacked, Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace, Dracula: Dead and Loving It, Fair Game, Canadian Bacon, Vampire in Brooklyn, The Scarlet Letter, Four Rooms, and 18 more; Notes: A bit higher notability than I would have expected (given the somewhat limited cast). When are we watching Under Siege 2?

Leonard Maltin – 2 stars –  Sloppy assemblage of gags (with most of the good ones near the beginning) ostensibly about Ace’s anti-p.c. hijinks with battling African tribes while trying to locate a rare white bat. Clever opening spoof of Cliffhanger and a funny sight gag involving asparagus; otherwise, more of the same.

(Pretty much nails it. He gave the first 2 stars as well which I think is fair. Basically there the complaint was Carrey wouldn’t and couldn’t stop. That is very fair. The first is almost bursting at the seams trying to contain Carrey within a script not written for him. This one I think at least is written to accommodate his outlandish behavior.)

Trailer –

(The trailer is pretty good because it tells you almost nothing about the story. The only issue I could have is displaying two of the more solid jokes (the asparagus gag, and the spears in the legs). Solid overall. I remember this trailer so vividly for the music.)

DirectorsSteve Oedekerk – ( Future BMT: Barnyard; Kung Pow: Enter the Fist; Nothing to Lose; BMT: Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls; Notes: Wait … nominated for an Oscar? That’s right, he was nominated for Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius in 2002. Some might recognize him as the star of Kung Pow: Enter the First.)

WritersJack Bernstein – ( Known For: Ace Ventura: Pet Detective; BMT: Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls; Notes: Mostly a television producing including 70 episodes of Royal Pains.)

Steve Oedekerk – ( Known For: Bruce Almighty; Cowboys & Aliens; The Nutty Professor; Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius; High Strung; Future BMT: Evan Almighty; Patch Adams; Barnyard; Kung Pow: Enter the Fist; Nothing to Lose; BMT: Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls; Notes: He really lived off of that Jimmy Neutron gig for a while. Over 50 episodes of the television series, and then 20 more of a spinoff.)

ActorsJim Carrey – ( Known For: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind; The Truman Show; Sonic the Hedgehog 2; The Bad Batch; Sonic the Hedgehog; The Mask; Liar Liar; Dumb and Dumber; Ace Ventura: Pet Detective; Bruce Almighty; A Series of Unfortunate Events; Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues; Me, Myself & Irene; Horton Hears a Who!; The Cable Guy; How the Grinch Stole Christmas; Yes Man; Peggy Sue Got Married; Earth Girls Are Easy; The Dead Pool; Future BMT: Kick-Ass 2; Dumb and Dumber To; Fun with Dick and Jane; Once Bitten; The Incredible Burt Wonderstone; Pink Cadillac; BMT: Batman Forever; The Number 23; Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls; Notes: I looked this up after, but he really never had a big downturn in his career as I had thought. Only somewhat recently did he take some time off before getting the Robotnik role in Sonic.)

Ian McNeice – ( Known For: The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy; Valkyrie; Top Secret!; From Hell; No Escape; Valmont; Oliver Twist; Grizzly II: Revenge; A Life Less Ordinary; 84 Charing Cross Road; The Russia House; The Englishman Who Went Up a Hill But Came Down a Mountain; The Man Who Invented Christmas; Blackball; Personal Services; The Body; Funny Bones; The Cherry Orchard; The Fourth Angel; Whoops Apocalypse; Future BMT: The Black Dahlia; White Noise; The Beautician and the Beast; Year of the Comet; BMT: Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls; Around the World in 80 Days; Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason; Town & Country; Notes: Oddly his three children live in Africa, but this doesn’t seem to be connected to this movie somehow.)

Simon Callow – ( Known For: Amadeus; Notting Hill; A Room with a View; Four Weddings and a Funeral; Shakespeare in Love; James and the Giant Peach; Maurice; Howards End; Postcards from the Edge; Victoria & Abdul; Mindhorn; Arn: The Knight Templar; No Man’s Land; Viceroy’s House; Late Bloomers; Thunderpants; Blue Iguana; Hampstead; Bright Young Things; The Man Who Invented Christmas; Future BMT: The Phantom of the Opera; Street Fighter; BMT: Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls; Notes: Apparently he is an Orson Welles expert and biography.)

Budget/Gross – $30 million / Domestic: $108,385,533 (Worldwide: $212,385,533)

(I mean that is huge. I think Carrey was at a weird point in his career where this was his first sequel. Because he didn’t really do another one until the Dumb and Dumber sequel many years later.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 21% (6/28): Nature Calls in this Ace Ventura sequel, and it’s answered by the law of diminishing returns.

(Many of the complaints appear to be that Carrey is meaner in this film than the first, which I also think is correct. Again, the original was written without a solid grasp of the character who was written more as a zany take on noir detectives in general. In this they were grasping around trying to decide who this character was actually supposed to be.)

NY Times Short Review: Pet detective and sacred white bat. Sloppy, cheerfully gross sequel.

Poster – Ace Ventura: When Nature Sklogs

(It’s a classic. If the Ace Ventura 2 poster was a criminal that I was describing to a sketch artist it would have been caught in ten minutes. It’s not perfect or really artistic in any way, but nice font and that outfit is absolutely outrageous. B-)

Tagline(s) – New Animals. New Adventures. Same Hair (C-)

(Was the hair what everyone remembered most vividly from the first film? I guess maybe, although I never thought of it that way. This is a nicely constructed tagline, but boy is it lame.)

Keyword(s) – wisdom

Top 10: The Dark Knight (2008), Inception (2010), Forrest Gump (1994), The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001), The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003), The Dark Knight Rises (2012), The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002), Batman Begins (2005), Inglourious Basterds (2009), The Silence of the Lambs (1991)

Future BMT: 88.5 Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd (2003), 84.0 Prom Night (2008), 83.5 Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World (2011), 82.2 You Got Served (2004), 80.0 Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience (2009), 79.6 Nutty Professor II: The Klumps (2000), 78.8 Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked (2011), 77.5 Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel (2009), 77.2 Superhero Movie (2008), 72.2 Bewitched (2005), 71.4 The Animal (2001), 69.3 College Road Trip (2008), 68.9 Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen (2004), 68.4 Poltergeist (2015), 68.2 Yogi Bear (2010), 67.6 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (1993), 65.6 The Haunting of Molly Hartley (2008), 65.5 Halloween Ends (2022), 65.3 Fat Albert (2004), 65.0 Scary Movie 4 (2006)

BMT: Batman & Robin (1997), The Emoji Movie (2017), The Last Airbender (2010), Fifty Shades of Grey (2015), The Cat in the Hat (2003), Crossroads (2002), Norbit (2007), From Justin to Kelly (2003), The Master of Disguise (2002), Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 (2000), xXx: State of the Union (2005), Sex and the City 2 (2010), Space Jam: A New Legacy (2021), Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem (2007), Fifty Shades Freed (2018), The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009), Little Man (2006), Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 (2015), Taxi (2004), Freddy Got Fingered (2001), I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (1998), Zoolander 2 (2016), Kangaroo Jack (2003), Are We Done Yet? (2007), Police Academy 5: Assignment: Miami Beach (1988), The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1 (2011), The Boy Next Door (2015), Wild Wild West (1999), Urban Legends: Final Cut (2000), Year One (2009), Are We There Yet? (2005), Big Momma’s House 2 (2006), Marmaduke (2010), The Roommate (2011), Tammy (2014), Abduction (2011), Miss Congeniality 2: Armed & Fabulous (2005), A Good Day to Die Hard (2013), Independence Day: Resurgence (2016), Transformers: The Last Knight (2017), New York Minute (2004), Hot Pursuit (2015), Paul Blart: Mall Cop (2009), Big Momma’s House (2000), An American Haunting (2005), …

Best Options (Comedy): 88.5 Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd (2003), 83.5 Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World (2011), 79.6 Nutty Professor II: The Klumps (2000), 78.8 Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked (2011), 77.5 Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel (2009), 77.2 Superhero Movie (2008), 72.2 Bewitched (2005), 71.4 The Animal (2001), 69.3 College Road Trip (2008), 68.9 Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen (2004), 68.2 Yogi Bear (2010), 67.6 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (1993), 65.3 Fat Albert (2004), 65.0 Scary Movie 4 (2006), 63.7 The Dukes of Hazzard (2005), 62.2 Madea Goes to Jail (2009), 61.5 Scooby-Doo (2002), 60.8 Like a Boss (2020), 60.8 Alvin and the Chipmunks (2007), 60.6 Meet Dave (2008), 60.4 Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip (2015), 58.7 Scary Movie 2 (2001), 57.5 Maid in Manhattan (2002), 57.2 The Wedding Planner (2001), 56.9 Hanging Up (2000), 56.8 Land of the Lost (2009), 55.3 The Back-up Plan (2010), 55.0 Evan Almighty (2007), 54.5 The Smurfs 2 (2013), 54.0 The Smurfs (2011), 53.9 Annie (2014), 53.1 Aloha (2015), 52.6 Just My Luck (2006), 52.1 Loser (2000), 52.0 Malibu’s Most Wanted (2003), 51.7 View from the Top (2003), 51.5 Scary Movie 3 (2003), 51.4 Dude, Where’s My Car? (2000), 51.0 Little Fockers (2010), 50.9 Couples Retreat (2009), 50.7 Racing Stripes (2005), 50.6 Eight Crazy Nights (2002), …

(Yeah there are too many really to list. Originally we were going to do Dumb and Dumberer but then we botched it. But Ace Ventura 2 is secretly amazing so I’m not too worked up about it.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 14) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Jim Carrey is No. 1 billed in Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls and No. 1 billed in The Number 23, which also stars Virginia Madsen (No. 2 billed) who is in Firewall (No. 3 billed) which also stars Harrison Ford (No. 1 billed) who is in Hollywood Homicide (No. 1 billed) which also stars Josh Hartnett (No. 2 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 3 billed) => (1 + 1) + (2 + 3) + (1 + 1) + (2 + 3) = 14. There is no shorter path at the moment.

Notes – When driving to the consulate for the first time, Jim Carrey forgot his lines, so instead started singing the theme from the movie Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. Both actors stayed in character and the director loved it so they kept it in.

According to Simon Callow, Jim Carrey didn’t really want to make the film, which made on-set experiences awkward.

According to Jeff Daniels, Jim Carrey had explained to him the reasons why he didn’t like the sequel much. He disliked the whole “Ace is afraid of bats” angle, as he found it to be cheap, and even fought with the director about changing the script so that Ace was merely allergic to bats. Carrey was also very nervous about the film’s depiction of the native characters, and that people might take offense to them. He’s even surprised the film hasn’t been outright banned.

Jim Carrey spent a lot of time off sick, which affected the contract of actor Simon Callow. Callow’s contract had actually expired before he could finish filming his scenes. Despite this, he wasn’t paid overtime as Carrey’s illness was regarded as an “Act of God” in the contract. Which Carrey himself claims as “unfair”. Since Callow already had other commitments in London, the producers suggest he flew back regularly in first-class, as the contract had stated. It wasn’t until later that Callow found out that the producers were deducting the cost of his plane tickets from his overall salary. In his words he “finished up working almost for nothing”.

Despite Jim Carrey only doing this movie due to contractual obligation, the studio attempted to get him interested in doing another Ace Ventura movie several times throughout the years to which he declined.

Jim Carrey was paid $15 million to reprise the part of Ace Ventura, exactly half of the film’s $30 million budget. It was actually the film’s writer and Carrey’s friend Steve Oedekerk who suggested he’d negotiate with Morgan Creek Productions for this. Conveniently, Oedekerk himself became the film’s director, who then finalized this decision.

Up until Dumb and Dumber To (2014), this was the only sequel to a Jim Carrey film to actually feature Carrey, Likewise none of the actors with the exception of Carrey return from the first film.

Jim Carrey said that after doing this movie he realized he could not spend his entire life doing Ace Ventura movies. Writer/director Steve Oedekerk felt the same way, and also moved onto other projects.

The language used by the Wachootoo chief and in Ouda’s Wachootoo translation is isiXhosa, an Nguni language spoken in South Africa. IsiXhosa is the native language of Nelson Mandela and Miriam Makeba a.k.a. Mama Africa. The Xhosa people (amaXhosa) make up the second largest ethnic group in South Africa after their close relatives the Zulus (amaZulu).

Flashdance Recap


It’s power to the people time here at BMT as we are focusing on winners or nominees of people/teen/kid’s choice awards. The only awards that really matter. The info on these awards are pretty sparse seeing as they are run through Gallup and so are just kind of polling name recognition, but oh what a surprise when I went to check the March 15, 1984 NYTimes:

There is more info on this advertisement than on the wikipedia page! I feel like we have a right to know that Flashdance was nominated for Favorite Motion Picture and wasn’t just the winner of Favorite Song from a Motion Picture. Also, shouldn’t we be privy to the fact that both R2D2 and C3PO were scheduled to appear alongside Swedish Chef and Meryl Streep? Now we just need to get our hands on an actual copy of the special Gallup poll.

To recap, Alex is a Pittsburgh area steel worker who dreams of being a professional dancer. But she lacks money (and the confidence) so spends her days welding away and her nights flash dancing her heart out. One night her boss, Nick, shows up to her show and is entranced. He basically gets HR on the phone and is like “Call me The Mask, cause someone should stop me.” He insists they date and ultimately they do, even as his wealth, age, and ex-wife try to get in the way. She goes through a bunch of trials and tribulations involving her best friend becoming a stripper (she says “stop that!”), Nick being spotted at a charity function with his ex-wife (she says “stop that!”) and their subsequent break-up when she finds out he pulled some strings to get her an audition at a prestigious dance school despite her lack of experience (she’s like “stop that!”). Ultimately, though, she decides to go through with the audition. Why? Because she’s a great goddamn dancer, that’s why! Obviously, she blows all the judges’ minds with her dancing and smooches Nick for hours. THE END.

I really, really liked this movie. Don’t get me wrong, the script is paper thin. I could almost feel it fluttering in the wind threatening to fly away as I watched the movie. But it is perfection in how they are able to take that script and jazz is up with pure, unadulterated entertainment. I remember taking a film class in college and being asked one day by the TA what my favorite movie was. Other students were like Gone with the Wind, Casablanca, The General… just throwing out classics. When it came to me I said the truth (at the time): Anchorman and the reason I gave was that it was pure comedy. Everything about it was meant to be funny. Even the parts that appeared not to be funny, like the love interest, was turned on its head to be a joke. And I thought it was perfect execution of pure jokes. This is perfect execution of pure entertainment. The script is trash. The plot is nonsense. It doesn’t age perfectly and it portended a wave of cocaine-fueled erotic thrillers that was… not pure entertainment. But boy… what a feeling.

Hot Take Clam Bake! I smell a scandal, ladies and gentlemen. Hear me out, it appears like Nick pulls strings at the dance academy so that Alex can fulfill her dreams. I don’t buy it. I’m thinking the chain of events is this. 1. Nick is caught with his ex-wife at the ballet. 2. Alex and him have a huge blow up at the plant that everyone sees. 3. Gossip abounds, which reaches HR. 4. Nick is brought in to talk, this is not his first strike. 5. Nick’s like “No, no, you see she doesn’t even work here anymore, she’s going to dance school and is just working till the term starts.” 6. HR is like “Really?” 7. Nick is like “Yeah, definitely.” 8. HR is like “OK, well that’s good. That’s OK.” 9. NICK IS SCRAMBLING. Alex doesn’t have any experience! Who does he know on the board?! Where is his rolodex?!… and eventually… 27. Smooching away his problem with Alex after she wins the day. Phew. Hot Take Temperature: Pittsburgh, but it’s like mid-August.



‘Ello everyone! I’m a maniac. And this movie makes me feel like we were witnessing the birth of a whole genre of movies. Let’s go!

That genre? Something along the lines of “cheapo film made with a no name actress we dress in very skimpy clothing”. This movie was a phenomenon. The third highest grossing film (domestic) of 1983 after The Return of the Jedi and Tootsie. Wikipedia claims it made over $200 million worldwide, although given the time period the number cited in the lawsuit surrounding the film ($150 million) seems more likely. $90 million domestic, $60 million worldwide. This film was made for $7 million.

Here’s a mostly unfounded theory. This film is a romantic drama. But romantic dramas are tough and often don’t make money (see something like previous BMT classic A Change of Seasons) because when they are bad people don’t like them. So you need a genre with some vim, one where even when it is bad people still find it exciting and interesting. Enter: Action, Horror, or Thriller. Action is expensive, Horror is gross, and thus the Erotic Thriller is born. That a dime-a-dozen cheap thriller script, add in a young actress, et voila. Money printer. Until it wasn’t I guess, the puritanism of the late-90s kind of caught up with it in the end.

I also wouldn’t be surprised if the actual genre (which tends to be either legal or detective thrillers) was born out of a glut of noir films still being written when the genre was effectively dead.

Oh the movie? Solid stuff. Really really entertaining. Jennifer Beale was genuinely good. And the underdog story worked well. A very Billy Elliot delivery in the end as well with the dance scene.

But yeah, the main issue is that sure: three dances (first dance, Maniac, and the audition) you can chalk up to necessity. The outfits? Fine, that’s what she wears when dancing. But the strip club scene? The workout scene? The gratuitous stretching? The dinner outfit. There are five or six bits which are obviously just there for us to ogle Beale and 40 years later it reads pretty gross. Unfortunately without a bunch of it the movie would be too short, otherwise I would wonder what a Not Gross Cut would look like and whether it would read better.

There is a Peanuts short called It’s a Flashdance, Charlie Brown. It’s on Apple+. I watched it. Unfortunately Snoopy doesn’t do the water thing at the beginning scene which is called “Flashbeagle”. So that gets a D at best.

A huge Setting as a Character (Where?) for Pittsburgh where our hero is a welder who really just dreams of being a dancer. Secret Holiday Film (When?) Alert, because we have a big scene set during Halloween. And this is definitely a Good film.

Read about the sequel 40 years in the making in Flashdance: Generations in the Quiz. Cheerios,

The Sklogs

Flashdance Quiz

Oh what a feeling. You know the feeling. The feeling when you go into a dance audition, attempt a flip, and land directly on your head sustaining a massive concussion while embarrassing yourself? That feeling. Anyhoo, I don’t remember anything. Do you remember what happened in Flashdance?

Pop Quiz Hot Shot!

1) Oh snap we got a meetcute y’all. How do our two love birds meet?

2) So what’s the story? Why does our hero want to be a dancer and why is she a welder?

3) We also have a bit of an odd interlude involving the cook in the bar she dances in, and her good friend who is a waitress. They both have big dreams. What are their two big desires?

4) Why does Alex smash up Nick’s house?

5) And how does Alex get that big audition?

Bonus Question: So … let’s go for a classic. How long does the relationship last?


Flashdance Preview

Just as it appears that Jamie and Patrick are going to do battle they transition into a patented Double Twin Punch directly into Michael’s chest. His chest bursts open, showering them in a multitude of springs and other mechanical doodads. A slow clap rings through the emptiness of the catacombs. “Brilliant,” says Drake Dudikoff. His brother, Charlie, smiles broadly at his side. “We knew you were the ones, we just never imagined you would do it so quickly,” Charlie remarks. “What was it? Was it how closely our story paralleled that of Citizen Kane? The dreams of youth, and loss of innocence associated with the loss of our brother Michael, driving us to ruin in our ambition?” His eyes shine. Jamie and Patrick smirk. “Your story is Toys, my man,” Jamie says wryly. “Dreams of youth… loss of innocence… Michael is a classic Alsatia Zevo. Which of course means The Gutes is…” Another slow clap rings out revealing The Gutes, “LL Cool G himself. It told you these guys were legit,” The Gutes says. Charlie and Drake nod their heads in agreement, “Join us, Movie Twins, and learn what it is you seek. You yearn to know what is good? Then we shall teach you. You want to take your knowledge and help the world? This is where it happens. Look at what we built from our pain and suffering,” they say pointing at the remains of Michael, “Years of painstaking construction from our favorite Ferrari Testarossa which you destroyed with one punch. Think of all the other things you can punch… with your minds.” Jamie and Patrick agree. Point them in the direction of good and their brains will punch it. “Alright,” Drake says, “hope you guys brought your jorts.” That’s right! We are transitioning to the dance club to listen to some sweet tunes and some dope beats. We’re real cool and real rad and we know what the people want. Flashdance! Let’s go!

Flashdance (1983) – BMeTric: 26.2; Notability: 58 – BMeTric: top 8.4%; Notability: top 1.6%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 15.3%; Higher BMeT: Jaws 3-D, Superman III, Smokey and the Bandit Part 3, Staying Alive, Amityville 3-D, Curse of the Pink Panther, Porky’s II: The Next Day, Hercules, Two of a Kind, Deal of the Century, Doctor Detroit, Stroker Ace, Still Smokin, Spring Break, Spacehunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone, The Final Terror, D.C. Cab, Grizzly II: Revenge, The Sting II, Krull, and 1 more; Higher Notability: Superman III, Curse of the Pink Panther, Krull, Deal of the Century; Lower RT: Staying Alive, The Sting II, Nate and Hayes, The Lonely Lady, Grizzly II: Revenge, The Survivors, Porky’s II: The Next Day, Still Smokin, Jaws 3-D, Deal of the Century, Smokey and the Bandit Part 3, Two of a Kind, D.C. Cab, Amityville 3-D, Stroker Ace, Spring Break, The Black Stallion Returns, Hercules, Class, Spacehunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone, and 9 more; Notes: The Notability is off the chain there. But so is Krull! I guess a big part of Krull is it has a huge cast (including Liam Neeson) of people who became famous maybe. Still seems insane. – 1.5 stars – “Flashdance” is like a movie that won a free 90-minute shopping spree in the Hollywood supermarket. The director (Adrian Lynn, of the much better “Foxes”) and his collaborators race crazily down the aisles, grabbing a piece of “Saturday Night Fever,” a slice of “Urban Cowboy,” a quart of “Marty” and a 2-pound box of “Archie Bunker’s Place.” The result is great sound and flashdance, signifying nothing. But Jennifer Beals shouldn’t feel bad. She is a natural talent, she is fresh and engaging here, and only needs to find an agent with a natural talent for turning down scripts.

(I mean, some high praise there, but an interesting take. I guess you are really slammed in the early 80s for being “derivative” when I think something like this in the 90s appears to border on ironic? Hard to tell. Exciting nonetheless.)

Trailer –

(That is a risque trailer for the 80s I feel like. A good trailer though. Makes me want to watch some dancing.)

DirectorsAdrian Lyne – ( Known For: Lolita; Deep Water; Fatal Attraction; Unfaithful; Jacob’s Ladder; 9½ Weeks; Foxes; Future BMT: Indecent Proposal; BMT: Flashdance; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Director for Indecent Proposal in 1994; Notes: Nominated for an Oscar for Fatal Attraction. Deep Water was supposed to be the return of the Erotic Thriller. Instead people maybe just realized that the genre is too weird to resurrect.)

WritersThomas Hedley Jr. – ( Known For: Obsession; Hard to Hold; Double Negative; Mr. Patman; Future BMT: Fighting Back; BMT: Flashdance; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Screenplay for Flashdance in 1984; Notes: He maybe retired only a few years later? He basically only gets mentioned when people need to try and get the rights to Flashdance.)

Joe Eszterhas – ( Known For: Basic Instinct; Jagged Edge; Music Box; F.I.S.T.; An Alan Smithee Film: Burn Hollywood Burn; Telling Lies in America; Big Shots; Hearts of Fire; Szabadság, szerelem; Checking Out; Future BMT: Showgirls; Nowhere to Run; Betrayed; BMT: Flashdance; Sliver; Basic Instinct 2; Jade; Razzie Notes: Winner for Worst Screenplay, Worst Supporting Actor, Worst New Star, and Worst Original Song for An Alan Smithee Film: Burn Hollywood Burn in 1999; Winner for Worst Screenplay for Showgirls in 1996; Winner for Worst New Star for Ringmaster in 1999; and Nominee for Worst Screenplay in 1984 for Flashdance; in 1994 for Sliver; and in 1996 for Jade; Notes: Famously wrote a ton of erotic thrillers and the legendarily bad Burn Hollywood Burn: An Alan Smithee Film. Was nominated for the National Book Award in 1975.)

ActorsJennifer Beals – ( Known For: My Bodyguard; Luckiest Girl Alive; Vampire’s Kiss; Runaway Jury; The Book of Eli; Four Rooms; Before I Fall; Devil in a Blue Dress; The Last Days of Disco; Manhattan Night; The Thief and the Cobbler; The Anniversary Party; Roger Dodger; In the Soup; Full Out; Mrs. Parker and the Vicious Circle; Dear Diary; Queen to Play; The Twilight of the Golds; The Search for One-eye Jimmy; Future BMT: The Grudge 2; Catch That Kid; The Bride; BMT: After; Flashdance; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Actress for The Bride in 1986; Notes: This started her career and since then she’s done a ton of television including some Star Wars, The L Word, and recently The L Word spinoff.)

Michael Nouri – ( Known For: The Proposal; The Terminal; The Squeeze; Finding Forrester; Invincible; Woman Walks Ahead; Last Holiday; The Hidden; Captain America; Goodbye, Columbus; To the Limit; Con Man; Beyond the Trek; Lovely & Amazing; Alex & The List; American Yakuza; Boynton Beach Club; Any Day Now; High Roller: The Stu Ungar Story; Gangster Wars; Future BMT: GoBots: Battle of the Rock Lords; BMT: Flashdance; Notes: Young and the Restless, The O.C., All My Children. The man is a soap legend. He sung the theme for Search for Tomorrow.)

Lilia Skala – ( Known For: Ship of Fools; Testament; Charly; House of Games; Lilies of the Field; Caprice; Heartland; Men of Respect; Call Me Madam; Deadly Hero; Roseland; Man braucht kein Geld; BMT: Flashdance; Notes: Nominated for an Oscar for Lilies of the Field. She’s from Austria.)

Budget/Gross – $7 million / Domestic: $92,921,203 (Worldwide: $92,921,203)

(Wowza, that’s a box office smash! The rights must be totally f-ed because there is little alternative explanation as to why there wouldn’t have been a remake or sequel.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 35% (17/49): All style and very little substance, Flashdance boasts eye-catching dance sequences — and benefits from an appealing performance from Jennifer Beals — but its narrative is flat-footed.

(Oh boo hoo. The film about dancing has a bland story? Footloose baby! The power of a good soundtrack and an appealing lead. Just let it flow is what I say.)

New York Times Short Review: Thin plot but marvelous footwork.

Poster – Flashpants

(I like how people are like “no, no, Flashdance was not selling sex. It was selling the dreams of a young girl who just wanted to dance.” Right, that’s definitely what I’m getting from this poster. It’s OK, the film can be great and also sell itself on being steamy, even in a PG-13 kind of way. Not the best poster, but iconic. I grade it an I for iconic.)

Tagline(s) – What a feeling. (A+)

Something happens when she hears the music…it’s her freedom. It’s her fire. It’s her life. (B+)

(That second one is great if they didn’t add the front part to it. What a feeling is also pretty great from an advertising angle. You can almost feel like girls and boys alike would see this poster and then have their pulse race a little when they are told “what a feeling.” It’s not an A+ on its merits, but like the poster as a whole it’s an A+ in execution.)

Keyword(s) – Citizen Kane

Top 10: The Silence of the Lambs (1991), Star Wars: Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back (1980), Goodfellas (1990), Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991), Star Wars: Episode VI – Return of the Jedi (1983), The Terminator (1984), Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989), Full Metal Jacket (1987), Aliens (1986), Groundhog Day (1993)

Future BMT: 75.1 Look Who’s Talking Now (1993), 72.0 Teen Wolf Too (1987), 61.0 Pet Sematary II (1992), 59.7 Suburban Commando (1991), 58.5 Rocky V (1990), 56.4 The Karate Kid Part III (1989), 55.7 Ringmaster (1998), 54.2 Who’s That Girl (1987), 53.2 Made in America (1993), 52.4 Blank Check (1994), 51.6 The Pest (1997), 50.5 Getting Even with Dad (1994), 50.1 Smokey and the Bandit II (1980), 49.9 3 Ninjas (1992), 49.1 My Girl 2 (1994), 48.4 My Stepmother Is an Alien (1988), 48.0 Three Men and a Little Lady (1990), 46.8 House Party 3 (1994), 46.4 Zapped! (1982), 45.8 Sidekicks (1992)

BMT: Batman & Robin (1997), Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987), Troll 2 (1990), Super Mario Bros. (1993), RoboCop 3 (1993), Grease 2 (1982), Caddyshack II (1988), Mac and Me (1988), Bio-Dome (1996), Anaconda (1997), Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace (1996), Double Team (1997), Fair Game (1995), Leprechaun (1993), Body of Evidence (1992), A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Dream Child (1989), Poltergeist III (1988), Cool World (1992), Wild Orchid (1989), Chairman of the Board (1997), Red Sonja (1985), Ishtar (1987), Toys (1992), Sliver (1993), Weekend at Bernie’s II (1993), Shanghai Surprise (1986), Nothing But Trouble (1991), Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood (1988), Exit to Eden (1994), Fire Down Below (1997), Color of Night (1994), Graveyard Shift (1990), No Holds Barred (1989), The Lawnmower Man (1992), Arthur 2: On the Rocks (1988), Maximum Overdrive (1986), Fire Birds (1990), Cocoon: The Return (1988), Jingle All the Way (1996), Raw Deal (1986), Poltergeist II: The Other Side (1986), Crocodile Dundee II (1988), Hudson Hawk (1991), Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment (1985), Navy Seals (1990), Critters 2: The Main Course (1988), Hot to Trot (1988), Rambo III (1988), Terminal Velocity (1994), Meatballs Part II (1984), Cobra (1986), Ernest Goes to Jail (1990), Man Trouble (1992), Hard to Kill (1990), Conan the Destroyer (1984), The Golden Child (1986), Another 48 Hrs. (1990), Hard Rain (1998), Under the Cherry Moon (1986), Mannequin (1987), K-9 (1989), Blame It on Rio (1984), Days of Thunder (1990), No Mercy (1986), Senseless (1998), The Wizard (1989), The Marrying Man (1991), Sleeping with the Enemy (1991), Flashdance (1983), The Cannonball Run (1981), Tango & Cash (1989), Stone Cold (1991), Lock Up (1989), The Good Son (1993), 1492: Conquest of Paradise (1992), Dangerous Minds (1995), The Adventures of Ford Fairlane (1990), Young Guns II (1990), Event Horizon (1997), Dutch (1991), Police Academy (1984), Road House (1989)

Best Options (wisdom): 26.2 Flashdance (1983), 12.8 Home Alone 2: Lost in New York (1992)

(Top choice. In reality a huge reason to pick Flashdance was it was standalone. Because you know I would be watching Home Alone again, and we’d at least have to consider Home Alone 3 (which I believe, somehow, qualifies). And thus ends The One and Only cycle, the biggest data analysis BMT has ever done.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 32) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Malcolm Danare is No. 11 billed in Flashdance and No. 11 billed in Godzilla, which also stars Jean Reno (No. 2 billed) who is in Rollerball (No. 5 billed) which also stars Chris Klein (No. 1 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 2 billed) => (11 + 11) + (2 + 5) + (1 + 2) = 32. If we were to watch Staying Alive, Jack, and The Glass House we can get the HoE Number down to 18.

Notes – Jennifer Beals’ trend-setting collarless sweatshirt came about by accident. The sweatshirt, which Beals brought from home, had shrunk in the wash and she had to cut the collar off in order to get it over her head. When director Adrian Lyne and costume designer Michael Kaplan saw it at the wardrobe fitting, they both loved it and Kaplan improved the overall look of the sweatshirt for the actual shoot.

Based on the life of construction worker/welder-turned-dancer Maureen Marder.

Marine Jahan was Jennifer Beals’ body double for the dancing scenes. Jahan was kept hidden from the press because the filmmakers did not want to ruin the illusion. Alex’s leap through the air in the audition scene was done by gymnast Sharon Shapiro and the break-dancing was done by Crazy Legs. Jahan appeared in the music video for “Maniac”.

In 1982, Maureen Marder, whose life the film loosely is based on, signed an agreement with Paramount releasing it from any claim regarding her life story. In return she received a check for $2,300. The movie later took in an estimated $200 million worldwide.

The traffic cop who Alex mimics to a tune from Bizet’s Carmen is famous in Pittsburgh. His name is Vic Cianca, and he was well known for his “choreography,” directing traffic in Pittsburgh for over 30 years. He was known as the “Nureyev of the Intersection,” a moniker bestowed on him by Phil Musick of the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.

In the early years of home video, Paramount tried an experiment in which this film was given a heavily promoted home video release while the film was still playing in some cinemas. The box office was expected to drop off to nothing as soon as the tape became available for rental. Instead, the heavy promotion caused an increase in box office receipts.

Joe Esposito recorded the vocals to the original version of Flashdance … What A Feeling. Producer Don Simpson and Adrienne Lynn decided that since the lead character was a female, the song needed to be sung by a female. They hired Irene Cara to perform the song at the last minute. She re-wrote the original lyrics while riding in a car to the recording studio the day she recorded the song, and wound up winning an Oscar for her performance.

Michael Sembello had intended that the rhythm of “Maniac” be too fast to dance to.

This is the the first film to become a smash hit largely due to MTV. The opening weekend box office receipts were about $6 million, but the soundtrack immediately became a best-seller in the U.S. The film’s music producers and credited artists worked very quickly to film videos for songs such as “What a Feeling” and “Maniac” to get them on MTV. Younger viewers sustained the film’s run well beyond what was then expected for films that were released outside of the summer or winter holidays, were rated R, or didn’t have major stars involved. The movie took in an estimated $200 million worldwide.

The soundtrack to the movie sold 700,000 copies in its first two weeks of release.

Awards – Winner for the Oscar for Best Music, Original Song (Giorgio Moroder, Keith Forsey, Irene Cara, 1984)

Nominee for the Oscar for Best Cinematography (Donald Peterman, 1984)

Nominee for the Oscar for Best Film Editing (Bud S. Smith, Walt Mulconery, 1984)

Nominee for the Oscar for Best Music, Original Song (Michael Sembello, Dennis Matkosky, 1984)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Screenplay (Thomas Hedley Jr., Joe Eszterhas, 1984)

Supergirl Recap


It’s March 15, 1986 and it’s a Saturday. Time for some Saturday morning cartoons? Wrong. It’s time for back-to-back 7am and 9am showings of Citizen Kane and Supergirl. Expand our minds. We have no time for Robotech, Terrahawks, or Davey and Goliath. And we definitely don’t have time for Muppets, Babies & Monsters. That’s cause we… we… hold up. What did they say was airing at 9am? Muppets, Babies & Monsters? What thuuuuuuu…. That’s right. I’m getting totally distracted to bring you a breaking news bulletin that apparently Muppet Babies was so popular in its first season that they expanded it to an hour and added a segment about monsters and changed the name to reflect that. It was then so not popular that they only aired three episodes and left ten episodes unaired. Which begs the question: how could a show that only aired three episodes in September 1985 and left a bunch unaired still have an episode airing in March 1986? And how could it be that this cartoon could only get three episodes while Hulk Hogan’s Rock ‘n’ Wrestling (airing at 10am) gets two full seasons? Put BMT in the trash, I think we just got our new website. We’re going to be devoting all our time to solving these important questions (and more). But till then.

To recap, Kara is Superman’s cousin living in Argo City yearning for adventure. Fortunately for her (and less fortunately for the fellow citizens of Argo City) she inadvertently sends the city’s power source, the Omegahedron, to Earth dooming all to death. Off she flies to Earth to try to remedy the situation where she finds herself immediately transformed into Supergirl. She hides away in an all-girls private school and makes friends with Lucy Lane as she tries to find the big O. Turns out a local witch, Selena, has found it and intends to use it to take over the world. But first, love. She sets her eyes on the school’s hunky groundskeeper only to have it go sideways when Supergirl comes in to save him from some runaway construction equipment and he falls in love with her schoolgirl alter ego instead (gross). Selena. Is. Pissed. Time to take out this girl, but gah! Every time she tries to go after the girl Supergirl is somehow right there to stop her. How can this be?! Using extra special baddie powers she traps Supergirl in the Phantom Zone and starts in on conquering the world. Oh despair! No one escapes the Phantom Zone. Except Zaltar, Kara’s former teacher, is also exiled there and hints that they actually kind of can escape. Off they go where Supergirl is able to get out with the help of Zaltar’s self-sacrifice. In a final climactic battle that in no way looks like shit, Supergirl does battle with a giant demon and dispatches Selena. While Supergirl is totally jonesing for that hunky groundskeeper she knows she must leave him behind to save Argo City. THE END.

I feel like I’ve been in a very forgiving mood lately with our BMT films. The biggest sin this film has is that it’s way too long (seemingly by letting the older supporting stars of the film run rampant on the film) and feels a bit like a very extended pilot episode of a television show. But once you get past that there are some solidly positive things I can say. Other than the final battle they clearly had a good handle on the effects they wanted to use, particularly the wire work. I also felt like they knew what they were trying to make in that you couldn’t just superimpose a lady over Superman and get this film. They gave Kara some coming-of-age characteristics that made for an interesting take on the story (although it ended up drowned out by Selena’s story). Ultimately it seemed like they got spooked by the fact that they were working with a rookie lead. Would have been better if it was Supergirl and not Selena the Cougar Witch (feat. Supergirl). As for The Punisher, I was surprised by the professionalism of the film and the fact that Dolph Lundgren is pretty decent. Why it didn’t get released to theaters seems like a mystery to me. The Fantastic Four this was not. Sure it has an offensive Japanese villain storyline befitting a cheap B-movie martial arts film, but what didn’t in those days? America was scared of Japan and so everywhere you turned was Gung Ho and Rising Sun. The Punisher fits right in.

Hot Take Clam Bake! Supergirl is back the next day, if not the next hour. You think she’s going back to lame ass Argo City with its garbage fake tree art when she’s got a hunky groundskeeper back on Earth? Hellllll no. She knows how to get back to Earth. She knows that she’ll be super dope when she gets there. And she definitely knows that Ethan better limber up. Supergirl is coming and she’s going to break him in half if he isn’t careful. Hot Take Temperature: Miami.



‘Ello everyone! Wait a minute! We have a man overboard! We have some flotsam on the port side, captain. It’s the little known Superman spinoff from the 80s, Supergirl. Let’s go!

This movie is so long. Why is this movie so long?!

It is also very silly. Although, I would contend it is no sillier than Superman III which features Richard Pryor skiing off a skyscraper and just landing safely on the street below, and the greatest character in all of cinema: Bad Superman.

I liked Helen Slater though.

Her love interest is like a 25 year-old dating the high schoolers at the private school he landscapes at … I guess maybe we are supposed to read that he’s like 18 or 19 though? A little like Jimmy Olson I think these are people who didn’t go to college and instead went right into their chosen field as cub reporter / landscaper. But then what the hell is Selena doing enchanting a young man to be her sex slave? Helen Slater and Faye Dunaway in a love triangle with anyone is confusing. I’m going to go with: Supergirl reads at 18, Ethan is supposed to be 25, and Selena is genuinely 40 and a creep. Ethan has a constant five o’clock shadow.

Peter O’Toole’s character is a dummy and ultra weird. His part in the Phantom Zone (and the fact that you can escape it?) is best forgotten.

But man … why is this movie so long?!

For the Bring a Friend bit of the Citizen Kane cycle I went hunting for a pair of superhero films. With us finally clearing out the DCEU a bit, it made me wonder how many superhero films I had seen in my life. The answer was: a distressing amount. And yet … not enough. So naturally we dipped back into that low-budget well to witness The Punisher (1989) starring Dolph Lundgren. I can see why it became a cult classic in its own way, it is more of what The Punisher became in later media incarnations I feel like. He kills, he’s driven only by revenge, but he can’t abide the death of innocents, etc. Let’s just pretend the film isn’t disgustingly racist in its depiction of the very eeeeeevil Japanese mafia villains. Indeed, we can add this right to the Hall of Fame of films based on the fear that Japanese corporations were going to take over and destroy American business (and in this case crime I guess). A. I think this is a pretty fun “bad movie” in the end. Easy breezy, genuinely bad, racism du jour for the late 80s, Lundgren. Solid stuff.

This movie has, bar none, some of the greatest Product Placement (What?) we’ve seen, but I have to give a shout out to the classic fast food connection for Popeye’s. This can join Little Nicky as a rep for that chain. I’m going to give this a Setting as a Character (Where?) for rather explicitly setting Superman in Chicago and this film in a suburb outside of it in Midvale. A great and genuine MacGuffin (Why?) for the Omegahedron which everyone is chasing around all film and it does whatever you want whenever you need seemingly. I think this is a BMT film despite its length, I found it to be mildly amusing and a fun 80s time.

Read about the sequel Supergirl 2: Cyber War in the quiz. Cheerios,

The Sklogs

Supergirl Quiz

Oh man, so here’s the thing. I’m from Argo City. It ain’t a big deal. But like a goober I created life with my magic wand thing and it destroyed my city! Whoops. Well, long story short, I was sucked out of inner space and bopped my head and now I can’t remember a thing. Do you remember what happened in Supergirl?

Pop Quiz Hot Shot!

1) What is Kara’s (aka Supergirl) relationship with Zoltar, played by Peter O’Toole?

2) Once in Midvale Kara naturally decides she’s going to go to school. There she meets Lucy Lane. What is Lucy’s relationship with Superman?

3) The eeeeeeeevil sorceress Selena obtains the Omegahedron and realizes that she can use it to gain power! And money! But uh oh, something odd is happening with it and the container it is housed in. What?

4) Selena has a friend, Nigel, who also happens to be Kara’s math/computer teacher? Whatever. He has another item which when combined allows Selena to banish Kara to the Phantom Zone. What is this item?

5) In the end how does Kara destroy Selena?

Bonus Question: In the mid-credits scene what does Zor-El discover about Argo City?


Supergirl Preview

“You best move out of the way, Michael,” Jamie says, limbering up for a classic Twin Tussle. He shakes his arms out wildly and does a few splits to loosen up his hips. Meanwhile Patrick just stands there like a statue, the smirk frozen on his face, eyes glazed over like doll’s eyes. He has withdrawn deep within himself, a meditative state that he enters just before he engages in great violence. Michael attempts to play peacekeeper. He recognizes the danger that these two opposing forces represent. Great kinetic energy coming into contact with immense potential energy. Like a lit match and a stick of dynamite. “Gentlemen, please, can’t you see we are on the same side. You have been chosen for a great responsibility and no matter how much you want to pretend you are a couple of cowboys, a couple of wild cards, a couple of rock and roll detectives, you know in your hearts that you are Jamie and Patrick, in search of something bigger than the next bad movie that comes across your path.” Michael steps between them, his voice now shaking with emotion. “You are meant to find this treasure and learn a great truth about yourselves. A great truth that you can bring out into the world. A great truth that you have been heading towards ever since you started this story. The story of the bad movie twins, which is no longer the story of the bad movie twins. It’s just your story… together.” Jamie stares at Michael in astonishment and begins to nod his head. “Yeah,” he begins, “yeah, that’s real dumb. I’m not doing that.” He turns back to Patrick, still frozen in place. “Prepare to meet my two friends,” Jamie says, kissing his fists, “Supergirl and The Punisher.” That’s right! We are venturing back into the superhero world with the last Superman movie we have to do. Supergirl! What’s that? It’s not the last Superman film we have to do? That can’t be right. Haven’t we already done a thousand of them? Anyway, we are pairing that with the Dolph Lundgren vehicle The Punisher, which much like the Fantastic Four film we watched appears to be some kind of financial scheme. Let’s go!

Supergirl (1984) – BMeTric: 72.1; Notability: 60 – BMeTric: top 0.0%; Notability: top 0.4%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 4.1%; Higher Notability: Cannonball Run II; Lower RT: Bolero, The Hills Have Eyes Part II, Reckless, Thief of Hearts, Exterminator 2, Until September, Crackers, Ghoulies, Blame It on Rio; Notes: Pretty insane stuff there. 50+ Notability in 1985. 70+ BMeTric, which is exceedingly rare. Highest BMeTric of 1984, and we saw the higher Notability too. I love it when we can hit some of these big boys. – 2.0 stars – The appearance of “Supergirl,” so soon after “Superman III,” is an indication that the producers of the “Superman” movies have forgotten, if they ever consciously knew it, the real secret of the movies. We do not go to “Superman” and “Supergirl” movies to laugh condescendingly at the characters (which is what the writers, directors, and even some of the actors have started to do). We go to recapture some of the lost innocence of the whole notion of superheroes. The gift of Christopher Reeve, in his best scenes and when the filmmakers allow it, is to play Superman without laughing, to take him seriously so that we can have some innocent escapist fun. Helen Slater has the same gift, but is given even less chance to exercise it in “Supergirl,” and the result is an unhappy, unfunny, unexciting movie. Why even go to the trouble of making a movie that feels like it’s laughing at itself?

(Uh oh Roger Ebert … you must be rolling in your grave. Because there is nary an action film today which isn’t quite often turned into a (pretty bad) action comedy. And I suppose the two notable exceptions in recent memory in Top Gun: Maverick and Avatar: The Way of Water ended up working. So maybe Ebert was onto something there.)

Trailer –

(Wowza the voice at the end sounds awful. Silly shit though. Looks like it could be fun just by virtue of being so silly … although I also know that the film is over 2 hours which is absurd.)

DirectorsJeannot Szwarc – ( Known For: Jaws 2; Somewhere in Time; Bug; Enigma; Extreme Close-Up; Hercule & Sherlock; The Sun Sisters; Honor Bound; La vengeance d’une blonde; BMT: Supergirl; Santa Claus: The Movie; Notes: Born in France, raised in Argentina. Got Jaws 2 because of an episode of Night Gallery he directed.)

WritersDavid Odell – ( Known For: The Dark Crystal; Cry Uncle; Dealing: Or the Berkeley-to-Boston Forty-Brick Lost-Bag Blues; Running Scared; Foreplay; Future BMT: Nate and Hayes; BMT: Masters of the Universe; Supergirl; Notes: Obviously a big Muppets guy given that he wrote The Dark Crystal. Woman an Emmy for The Muppet Show.)

ActorsHelen Slater – ( Known For: City Slickers; The Legend of Billie Jean; The Secret of My Success; Ruthless People; Lassie; The Steal; No Way Back; Happy Together; Seeing Other People; The Curse of Downers Grove; A House in the Hills; Sticky Fingers; Betrayal of the Dove; Beautiful Wave; Echo Park; BMT: Supergirl; Notes: Ended up acting in the recent Supergirl television series. Mostly television work over the years including a starring turn in The Lying Game.)

Faye Dunaway – ( Known For: Bonnie and Clyde; Chinatown; Network; The Handmaid’s Tale; The Thomas Crown Affair; The Towering Inferno; Three Days of the Condor; The Rules of Attraction; The Three Musketeers; The Man Who Drew God; The Thomas Crown Affair; Mommie Dearest; Little Big Man; Don Juan DeMarco; The Two Jakes; The Case for Christ; The Arrangement; Barfly; Arizona Dream; Inconceivable; Future BMT: The Messenger: The Story of Joan of Arc; Dunston Checks In; The Temp; BMT: Supergirl; The Bye Bye Man; The Chamber; Razzie Notes: Winner for Worst Actress in 1982 for Mommie Dearest, and Tarzan the Ape Man; Winner for Worst Supporting Actress for The Temp in 1994; Nominee for Worst Actress in 1981 for The First Deadly Sin; in 1984 for The Wicked Lady; and in 1985 for Supergirl; Nominee for Worst Supporting Actress in 1997 for Dunston Checks In, and The Chamber; and in 1998 for Albino Alligator; and Nominee for Worst Actress of the Decade in 1990 for Mommie Dearest, Supergirl, The First Deadly Sin, and The Wicked Lady; Notes: Won the Oscar for Network in addition to being nominated two other times (Chinatown and Bonnie and Clyde). Has always done film over the years, although her last major film was probably the BMT classic The Bye Bye Man.)

Peter O’Toole – ( Known For: Troy; Ratatouille; Caligula; Stardust; Lawrence of Arabia; The Last Emperor; Casino Royale; The Lion in Winter; The Bible: In the Beginning…; How to Steal a Million; Becket; What’s New Pussycat; The Stunt Man; FairyTale: A True Story; My Favorite Year; The Ruling Class; Zulu Dawn; Man of La Mancha; Bright Young Things; Venus; Future BMT: King Ralph; One Night with the King; High Spirits; Club Paradise; For Greater Glory: The True Story of Cristiada; Creator; The Nutcracker Prince; BMT: Supergirl; Phantoms; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Actor for Supergirl in 1985; and Nominee for Worst Supporting Actor for Club Paradise in 1987; Notes: Died in 2013. Famously nominated for 8 Oscars without winning one, including for Lawrence of Arabia (his first nomination). Was awards an honorary Oscar in 2003.)

Budget/Gross – $35 million / Domestic: $14,296,438 (Worldwide: $14,296,438)

(That is no good. I suppose they really did think they were going to get the full Superman haul with the spinoff. Didn’t work out.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 8% (3/36): The effects are cheesy and Supergirl’s wide-eyed, cheery heroine simply isn’t interesting to watch for an hour and a half.

(Awwww. But yeah, that seems quite bad. Want to hear something odd? The New York Times was marking this film with a star up until maybe 1996. So prior to that they were basically recommending the film. So an apparently rare recommend from them for the film.)

New York Times Short Review: Pale supercousin to you-know-who. Flashy, colorful fun.

Poster – Super 18-year-old

(I don’t mind it, although I feel like they felt like they were being super smart by having her fly around the statue of liberty. From one super girl to another or something, which kinda tells you everything you need to know about the movie. A little old fashioned, but has some depth and font and artistry. B-.)

Tagline(s) – Her first great adventure. (D)

(Oh sweet summer child. Outside of the somewhat amusing irony, this is too generic to count for much.)

Keyword(s) – Citizen Kane

Top 10: The Silence of the Lambs (1991), Star Wars: Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back (1980), Goodfellas (1990), Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991), Star Wars: Episode VI – Return of the Jedi (1983), The Terminator (1984), Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989), Full Metal Jacket (1987), Aliens (1986), Groundhog Day (1993)

Future BMT: 75.0 Look Who’s Talking Now (1993), 71.9 Teen Wolf Too (1987), 61.0 Pet Sematary II (1992), 59.6 Suburban Commando (1991), 58.5 Rocky V (1990), 56.4 The Karate Kid Part III (1989), 55.6 Ringmaster (1998), 54.2 Who’s That Girl (1987), 53.2 Made in America (1993), 52.4 Blank Check (1994), 51.5 The Pest (1997), 50.5 Getting Even with Dad (1994), 50.0 Smokey and the Bandit II (1980), 49.9 3 Ninjas (1992), 49.1 My Girl 2 (1994), 48.3 My Stepmother Is an Alien (1988), 47.9 Three Men and a Little Lady (1990), 46.7 House Party 3 (1994), 46.4 Zapped! (1982), 45.8 Sidekicks (1992)

BMT: Batman & Robin (1997), Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987), Troll 2 (1990), Super Mario Bros. (1993), RoboCop 3 (1993), Grease 2 (1982), Caddyshack II (1988), Bio-Dome (1996), Mac and Me (1988), Anaconda (1997), Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace (1996), Double Team (1997), Fair Game (1995), Leprechaun (1993), Body of Evidence (1992), A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Dream Child (1989), Cool World (1992), Poltergeist III (1988), Wild Orchid (1989), Sliver (1993), Chairman of the Board (1997), Red Sonja (1985), Nothing But Trouble (1991), Ishtar (1987), Toys (1992), Weekend at Bernie’s II (1993), Shanghai Surprise (1986), Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood (1988), Exit to Eden (1994), Fire Down Below (1997), Color of Night (1994), Graveyard Shift (1990), No Holds Barred (1989), The Lawnmower Man (1992), Arthur 2: On the Rocks (1988), Maximum Overdrive (1986), Fire Birds (1990), Cocoon: The Return (1988), Jingle All the Way (1996), Raw Deal (1986), Poltergeist II: The Other Side (1986), Crocodile Dundee II (1988), Hudson Hawk (1991), Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment (1985), Navy Seals (1990), Critters 2: The Main Course (1988), Hot to Trot (1988), Rambo III (1988), Terminal Velocity (1994), Meatballs Part II (1984), Cobra (1986), Ernest Goes to Jail (1990), Man Trouble (1992), Hard to Kill (1990), Conan the Destroyer (1984), The Golden Child (1986), Another 48 Hrs. (1990), Hard Rain (1998), Under the Cherry Moon (1986), Mannequin (1987), K-9 (1989), Days of Thunder (1990), Blame It on Rio (1984), No Mercy (1986), Senseless (1998), The Wizard (1989), The Marrying Man (1991), Sleeping with the Enemy (1991), The Cannonball Run (1981), Stone Cold (1991), Tango & Cash (1989), Lock Up (1989), The Good Son (1993), 1492: Conquest of Paradise (1992), Dangerous Minds (1995), Young Guns II (1990), Event Horizon (1997), Dutch (1991), Police Academy (1984), Road House (1989)

Best Options (superhero): 72.1 Supergirl (1984), 41.6 Sheena (1984)

(I had to add it into the superhero option since Supergirl and Citizen Kane only played on the same date (that I could find) on March 15, 1986 which wasn’t in my original 90s exclusive set. Sheena is a weird option. And obviously The Punisher (1989) works, but it doesn’t qualify, it came out in too few theaters.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 13) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Peter O’Toole is No. 3 billed in Supergirl and No. 2 billed in Phantoms, which also stars Ben Affleck (No. 1 billed) who is in Pearl Harbor (No. 1 billed) which also stars Josh Hartnett (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 3 billed) => (3 + 2) + (1 + 1) + (3 + 3) = 13. There is no shorter path at the moment.

Notes – The film’s opening credits cost almost $1 million to shoot.

Marc McClure (Jimmy Olsen) is the only actor to reprise his role from any of the “Superman” films.

Almost 85% of the film was shot on giant sound stages at Pinewood Studios.

The original script had Supergirl trying to rescue Superman, who had fallen ill due to Selena’s magic.

The film was intended to be the first in a series. Its lack of box-office success ended those plans.

Helen Slater had to train three hours a day for three months to do the outdoor flying sequences, where she was suspended by wires from a 200-foot tower crane.

The film was completed by Warner Brothers. After Superman III (1983) had underperformed, the studio decided not to release it. Tri-Star Pictures, a subsidiary of Sony Pictures, picked it up, and cut it from 126 minutes to 105. That being said, the original 126 minute cut was used for foreign theatrical releases, dubbed the International cut. Warner eventually regained full rights to the film and finally released it on DVD in 2006 in its international cut.

Peter Cook would later complain of Faye Dunaway’s diva behavior on this film and her constant lack of punctuality resulting in delays. At one point the producers even considered replacing her with Anjelica Huston or Jane Fonda.

John Williams’s theme for Superman (1978) appears briefly in Jerry Goldsmith’s score.

Brooke Shields was the first choice for the role of Supergirl, but was turned down because of her 6’0″ height.

Film debut of Helen Slater. Many years later, Slater would later appear in three episodes of Smallville (2001), playing Lara, the Kryptonian mother of Kal-El/Clark Kent, and then get a recurring role in Supergirl (2015) as Supergirl’s adoptive mother, Eliza Danvers.

Dolly Parton was offered $7 million to take the role of Selena, but she turned it down, claiming that she couldn’t play a witch, no matter how much money was offered. Jane Fonda and Goldie Hawn also turned the role down.

The scenes in which the monster tractor destroys the town took 22 consecutive days to shoot.

With a total domestic gross of $14 million, this movie made the least money of all the films in the Superman series, just behind Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987) which made $15 million.

Awards – Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Actor (Peter O’Toole, 1985)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Actress (Faye Dunaway, 1985)

The Adventures of Ford Fairlane Recap


We’re back, Jack! Cause we get to flashback to September 1st, 1994. A birthday so sweet that they just had to get Citizen Kane going early. Settle in at 11am on AMC for that CKane action. But rest up cause you better believe that they are taking The Adventures of Ford Fairlane primetime. Channel 11 at 8pm they are giving you the rock and roll detective. The FCC must have been going wild. Phones ringing off the hook at Andrew Dice Clay’s antics. We try to change the channel but the birthday boy says no. It’s his birthday and he’ll laugh at ADC if he pleases. Everyone is so jazzed by the experience that they collapse in exhaustion. Unbeknownst to them Jamie and Patrick sneak downstairs and find to their delight The Sketch Artist starring Jeff Fahey (1am on TMC), thus beginning their Fahey-aissance. An aissance that continues to this day. So, thank you The Adventures of Ford Fairlane. Thank you.

To recap, Andrew Dice Clay is the coolest cat in town. He is bedding ladies left and right. He is meeting with musicians and producers and everyone under the sun. We come to find that despite nabbing baddies on the regular, he’s not making any money because the musicians hiring him are paying him in eccentric gifts like koalas. We also find that he has a secretary that loves him and he loves her, but he’s gotta keep up his persona. Anyway, he gets a call from a friend who is now a shock jock about a job. When he goes there the dude wants to find a girl, Zuzu Petals, and is being real shady about it. ADC agrees to the gig, but just minutes later the guy is murdered. He gets a couple clues from the radio stations and the next morning is approached by a rich lady, Connie Sutton, who also wants to find Zuzu. He starts to collect a series of CDs, but not musical CDs, rather those newfangled computer doohickeys, you dig? He also figures out that Zuzu is associated with the lead singer of The Black Plague, who recently died on stage. While investigating he is almost killed numerous times by a hitman and is almost blown up. Ultimately they end up confronting the head of a music studio, Wayne Newton, who reveals his big plan was to bootleg the CDs of his company to make money off both the legitimate and black market. No prob telling Ford, because he’s about to die. Or is he? He’s not, because he escapes and is able to crack the final clue and get the last disc. This is all revealed and he wins the day, gets the girl, adopts a kid to be their son, and wins a billion dollars. No seriously, that’s how it ends. THE END.

Sometimes films are listed as having a “cult following” and I’m not sure I understand it. Either because the film is well known and probably not “cult,” or that it is objectively horrendous and shouldn’t have a “following.” I fully expected that to be the case here. The film is notorious. For all I had known this was a misogynistic pile of garbage and Andrew Dice Clay was king of the Mt. Garbage. Guess what? It wasn’t. I actually can kinda see how this is a cult film. It is weird in a specifically early 90’s Hudson Hawk kind of way and ADC is actually not half bad. You can see the natural charisma that briefly made him a comic star. The film mostly suffers from some poor performances (looking at you Robert Englund) and an inane plot complete with a laughable CD-ROM MacGuffin. Overall, though, it was way better than I thought it would be. Huh… I did not expect this.

Hot Take Clam Bake! It’s a classic, ladies and gentlemen. You know what I’m going to say: the end of this film didn’t happen and Ford Fairlane was actually shot and killed. It’s just the final firing of his dumb synapses. Think about the ending: Ford saves the day by tricking the bad guy in the most obvious way. Straight out of a movie type of stuff. Then he goes off and confesses his love for his secretary and they set off to live happily ever after. But not before grabbing a cute tyke to be their adoptive son and stopping briefly for Ford to win a billion dollars in a radio giveaway. We end with an image of them living happily on a yacht. You can tell they weren’t thinking Ford Fairlane 2. Why? Cause there never was going to be a Ford Fairlane 2… cause he’s dead. Hot Take Temperature: The Last Seduction.



‘Ello everyone! Once upon a time there was a man named Andrew Dice Clay who wasn’t funny and yet he got a movie made starring him as basically his comedy schtick. The early 90s were wild. Let’s go!

  • Is my brain dying? Because I didn’t think Andrew Dice Clay, as an actor, was half bad in this movie. I guess that is basically what happens when you cast someone as themself in a film while simultaneously “themself” actually is an act they’ve been putting on for years.
  • I also thought the core of the film was basically an okay idea. That makes sense right? It is based on a series of short stories that ran in the trades back in the day. So the concept of a PI who investigates Rock n’ Roll crimes and is himself a failed Rock n’ Roller is a pretty cool concept.
  • Alright, I think that’s it for all the good stuff in the film (and even that is borderline).
  • The jokes aren’t funny, and it is blatantly obvious why people make fun of Andrew Dice Clay on the reg even though he hasn’t been any kind of famous for about three decades. It is a joke layered upon a joke at this point. I guess it wouldn’t have been as obvious at that point that his homophobic and misogynistic character wouldn’t fly, but even at the time I think it was mostly shock value. Which I suppose makes it somewhat poetic that one of the people his character is existentially associated with is a shock jock. That was what he was right? A shock comic. I guess those still exist, although to a smaller degree. I couldn’t really name a comedian who’s managed to make a whole mainstream career from shock recently. Jeselnik seems like one of the last, but who knows, I’m not exactly plugged into that world at this point in my life. It does feel like “shock” comics are mostly a right-wing thing at this point.
  • From top to bottom the acting in the film is pretty rough.
  • And overall the storyline is ultra-confusing. It is basically like … a financial coverup by Wayne Newton? And he kills a bunch of people who figure it out. And it involves three discs which have to all be put into a special computer together for it to work? Maybe? Destroy the computer Wayne, ever think of that?
  • And my god, Wayne Newton looks bizarre in this film. I couldn’t figure out who he was for quite a while. He looked like he had late-stage CharlesBronson-itis with his big puffy face. No offense.
  • I mean, it has an A+ Product Placement (What?) for a Ford Fairlane, which they got into trouble for lying about actually blowing up (since it is apparently quite rare, enthusiasts were not amused by them joking around about destroying one). Definitely a Setting as a Character (Where?) for the music industry of Los Angeles. I do love an actual MacGuffin (Why?) for the set of three discs they don’t know anything about for 90% of the film. I think this is a BMT film, it is very very weird, but strangely entertaining, and very 90s.

Read about the sequel The Adventures of Ford Fairlane: Social Security in the Quiz. Cheerios,

The Sklogs