Bones (2001) Recap

Jamie

Welcome to the Bones Zone where I’m prepared to talk about all things Bones. So let’s get going. Fact number 1: *checks notes* Bones is a film that I watched. And thank you, that’s all I got. I have already forgotten the details of Bones but it’s a fun enough cheapo horror film. Definitely different than the typical fare given the concept. A bunch of musicians buy a house that unbeknownst to them was where a numbers runner, Jimmy Bones, was murdered. They try to open a nightclub there and inadvertently raise Bones from the dead and he goes around killing those that wronged him in the past and then other people to gain his evil strength. You see? Definitely different. It just didn’t really have the means to make it actually good.

For example, there are a number of cheapo horror films that I love. Night of the Demons, Pumpkinhead, Basket Case, etc. What made those stand out? They are highly original and also actually creepy. They use whatever means they have available to bring the horror to life. This is certainly a unique viewpoint for a horror film, but seems more inspired by Halloween 5 or something. It also had some of the worst old person makeup that I can remember. Which is a pretty big deal when you are in a genre that is known for some dope special effects. Like how can you even think about being in the same genre as something like The Thing while just caking a guy in plaster and saying that he’s old now? Anyway, it’s by no means a bad movie, but also not a cult classic like I was led to believe by some very reputable sources (read: wikipedia). But maybe I’m being a little too harsh because I like watching horror films and was kinda excited for this one. 

So I said this was a pretty original film and that’s true as you don’t get a blaxploitation inspired horror film every day, but that’s not the only thing that clearly inspired this film. I love weird connections so I thought I’d detail the obvious, the maybe not so obvious, and the awesome inspirations for this film:

The Obvious –  Amityville Horror. This is a haunted house film at heart but this takes it even a step further in the visual look of the house involved. Amityville Horror made a lot out of the general creepy, face-like house heavily used in its poster. Guess what this house looked like? 

The Maybe Not So Obvious – Hellraiser. This was actually the first film that came to mind as I watched it. We have an evil spirit that gains strength as people are murdered and his ghost/dog consumes the flesh and blood. You even see him come back to like in a very similar way, from skeleton on up.

The Awesome – I’ve always loved the idea of weird, unexpected adaptations. Add this to the pile cause this junk is Julius Caesar. We have Bones ruling the roost until he is betrayed by his supposed friends and stabbed to death. We even have Bones’ gf trying to persuade him not to go to the meeting due to a premonition, just like in the play. And just like in this film Julius Caesar came back to life and murdered everyone in a nightclub… right?

Patrick?

Patrick

‘Ello everyone! Bones (2001)? Wait … 2001? Were we not doing all 12 seasons of the television series Bones from 2005 starring Emily Deschanel as the titular Bones? I watched 245 episodes of David Boreanaz for nothing?! Let’s get into it!

  • Naw I was joking, I’ve never seen an episode of the show Bones … although given by love for Psych, Muder She Wrote, and other cheesy murder mystery shows I’m sure I would love it.
  • Bones, what is there to say about Bones … literally what is there to say? The film is somewhat of an enigma. A Blaxploitation-style Haunted House movie. Can you name another film like it? The closest I can really get is something like Candyman where they took urban legend themed slashers into housing projects.
  • Snoop Dogg is a terrible actor, but I can forgive him for that since he isn’t an actor. I liked Pam Greer.
  • Oh, the film does have bar none the worst makeup I’ve ever seen. The anti-Norbit. You have to see this shit, there is a character where they are trying to age him up, but instead of just putting some white hair on his temples they decide to put him in a terrible fat suit … it is a very distracting and perplexing decision.
  • Perplexing is also how I would describe the main character’s decision to buy a decrepit building and make it into a nightclub and, seemingly, open that night club within a month of buying a decrepit building full of rats. The party looked kind of fun I suppose, although they were just serving pizza on paper plates and stuff? Odd choice for a night club. Then again, I’m not sure I’ve ever been to a real nightclub. Is that a thing? Just ordering a mess of za to the club?
  • Man, turns out I had a lot to say about Bones, except I barely talked about it still somehow. A run of the mill haunted house film with some bad looking 70s flashbacks concerning crack flooding into American cities. I’m not at all surprised it got terrible reviews since it is a bad horror film.
  • I’m honestly at a bit of a loss for any superlatives I could throw its way, because it isn’t really set anywhere, and the people aren’t really looking for anything (except a good time at a party house). Closest to Bad, just for its terrible fat suit and makeup on the police officer.

I’m going to leave it there. Look for the sequel plan in the Quiz as usual. Cheerios,

The Sklogs

Bones (2001) Quiz

Oh man, so get this. I bought a decrepit old building which was haunted by a spooky ghost. Obviously, while I was throwing my huge rager in my borderline-condemned fire hazard of a building he popped out and just bopped me on the head! Now I can’t remember a thing. Do you remember what happened in Bones (2001)?

Pop Quiz Hot Shot!

1) In the beginning of the film some real jabronis come into the “bad part of town” to get something. What were they looking to buy (before getting killed by Bones)?

2) Bones can turn into an animal, what animal?

3) Why does Patrick buy the old decrepit building, what is his job and his friends/brothers jobs?

4) So … back in the 70s who killed Bones and why?

5) And who is Bones wreaking vengeance on when he returns (before being vanquished by Patrick and Pam Grier) and why?

Bonus Question: In a mid-credits scene Cynthia has a dream. Who does she dream of and what is she told?

Answers

Bones (2001) Preview

LePumice pushes the cart full of acid washed denim toward the main gates of the stadium. Sweat is beading on his forehead and he whispers quietly to the hidden Jamie and Patrick, “You guys sure this is going to work?” Patrick assures him that it will. They know PaJama ParTy’s biggest weakness was their shopaholism. “We were what the kids call ‘clothes horses.’ We had to have a metric ton of denim freshly acid washed for every show,” Patrick recalls fondly. As they get closer they hear a gruff voice. “You there, stop, what do you think you’re doing?” LePumice looks on the verge of bolting but stands his ground. A security guard looks suspiciously at the crate of denim. “Aren’t you going to take this other crate, too? Or are you just gonna leave it for me?” The guard points at another nearby crate. Phew. “Wait a second,” the guard says, suspicion aglow once again in his eyes, “This is a mighty large amount of freshly acid washed denim for just one show, isn’t it? They usually only need half this much.” Patrick and Jamie hold their breath in anticipation. What will LePumice come up with? “Right… uh, but it’s pretty steamy out here tonight so they are anticipating they’ll be sweating through double the number of jorts.” They let out a collective breath. Clever. And indeed the guard dabs his head and agrees that they don’t make jorts like they used to. Once inside LePumice hurries to the nearby wardrobe room before his legs give out. Patrick leaps out of the crate, but before he reaches the door Jamie stops him. “Wait, something… something is off,” he thinks for a moment, “I don’t know what it is, but something is different. I can feel it in my bones.” That’s right! We are watching Bones! (“What’s that?” all our loyal readers say at once) You don’t know what that is? Why it’s the cult classic Snoop Dogg horror film from the early 2000s… … … you know what it really doesn’t matter. We’re watching it anyway. Let’s go!

Bones (2001) – BMeTric: 56.5; Notability: 29

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 6.4%; Notability: top 28.8%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 23.0%; Higher BMeT: Glitter, Jason X, Freddy Got Fingered, Driven, The Animal, Ghosts of Mars, Black Knight, Valentine, Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles, Soul Survivors, Monkeybone, The Musketeer, Corky Romano, Scary Movie 2, The Wedding Planner, Bones; Higher Notability: Pearl Harbor, Monkeybone, Lara Croft: Tomb Raider, Hannibal, Impostor, Ghosts of Mars, Not Another Teen Movie, Bubble Boy, Swordfish, 15 Minutes, The One, Town & Country, The Affair of the Necklace, Scary Movie 2, I Am Sam, America’s Sweethearts, Along Came a Spider, Perfume, Texas Rangers, Joe Dirt, and 52 more; Lower RT: Nobody’s Baby, Texas Rangers, Soul Survivors, Glitter, Corky Romano, The Forsaken, Summer Catch, The Wash, Out Cold, Say It Isn’t So, Joe Dirt, Head Over Heels, Megiddo: The Omega Code 2, What’s the Worst That Could Happen?, Freddy Got Fingered, Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles, The Musketeer, Perfume, Double Take, Valentine, and 35 more; Notes: Actually a really solid BMeTric and Notability for a film I basically never heard of. Probably a testament to the BMeTric where you can find sub-5.0 films with <10K votes and it registers so high. Just saying.

Leonard Maltin – 2 stars –  Tow young suburban brothers (in both senses) buy a dilapidated ghetto brownstone in hopes of turning it into a trendy nightspot … but their entrepreneur father is panicked about the house’s sinister history and his own participation in the 1979 slaying of its original owner (Dogg), who’s now a ghost. If grossness makes you giggle, this speedy junk has a few grotesque jolts, plus the sight of still-shapely Grier to keep your own dad’s heart beating adequately.

(“Who’s now a ghost”? I’m in. Just such a funny line. If you remove just that bit you would never know that Snoop Dogg is even really in the film, it would just sound like an odd murder mystery or true crime thriller or something.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Z8Srxaoi48/

(Oh boy, the style of this film is something else. It also is mind blowing that this trailer from 2001 is in 4:3 format. It is an interesting haunted house idea, feels like they were trying to go for Candyman but just went a bit cheap.)

DirectorsErnest R. Dickerson – ( Known For: Juice; Double Play; Ambushed; Blind Faith; Future BMT: Surviving the Game; Tales from the Crypt: Demon Knight; BMT: Bulletproof; Bones; Never Die Alone; Notes: A frequent Cinematographer for Spike Lee, he was the first African-American member of the American Society of Cinematographers.)

WritersAdam Simon – ( Known For: Books of Blood; Brain Dead; Carnosaur; BMT: The Haunting in Connecticut; Bones; Notes: In writing Shadowman which is about a possessed Jazz musician based on a Valiant Comics character, which is kind of cool.)

Tim Metcalfe – ( Known For: Revenge of the Nerds; Kalifornia; Fright Night Part 2; Higher Ground; Three for the Road; Killer: A Journal of Murder; Iron Maze; Future BMT: Revenge of the Nerds II: Nerds in Paradise; Million Dollar Mystery; BMT: The Haunting in Connecticut; Bones; Notes: Most of his credits have to do with writing the original Revenge of the Nerds film. He evidently because Simon’s writing partner later on, and hasn’t written anything since 2011.)

ActorsSnoop Dogg – ( Known For: Training Day; Pitch Perfect 2; The Addams Family; The Beach Bum; Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping; Starsky & Hutch; Baby Boy; The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge on the Run; Dolemite Is My Name; Turbo; Future World; Trouble; Arthur et la vengeance de Maltazard; The Big Bang; Mac & Devin Go to High School; Pauly Shore Is Dead; Hood of Horror; Ride; Falling Up; Singh Is King; Future BMT: The Addams Family 2; Half Baked; Malibu’s Most Wanted; Arthur and the Invisibles; Soul Plane; Racing Stripes; Meet the Blacks; The Wash; I Got the Hook Up; Caught Up; BMT: Scary Movie V; Bones; Notes: Y’all know Snoop Dogg. Killed it at the Superbowl this year and notably (and briefly) changed his name to Snoop Lion at one point.)

Pam Grier – ( Known For: Jackie Brown; Mars Attacks!; The Vindicator; Escape from L.A.; Holy Smoke; The Man with the Iron Fists; Foxy Brown; Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey; Above the Law; Something Wicked This Way Comes; Coffy; Beyond the Valley of the Dolls; The Package; Class of 1999; The Big Bird Cage; The Arena; The Big Doll House; ‘Sheba, Baby’; Just Wright; Women in Cages; Future BMT: Jawbreaker; Snow Day; Larry Crowne; Poms; Posse; The Allnighter; In Too Deep; BMT: Ghosts of Mars; The Adventures of Pluto Nash; Bones; Notes: Was a major blaxploitation actress of the 70s, and then famously starred in Jackie Brown a homage to that era. Was diagnosed with cancer in 1988, but survived.)

Michael T. Weiss – ( Known For: Ordinary People; Freeway; Jeffrey; Freeway II: Confessions of a Trickbaby; Confessions of an Action Star; Until the Night; Iowa; Net Worth; BMT: Sex and the City 2; Bones; Notes: Mostly does voice work these days and apparently is a personal trainer to other actors as well.)

Budget/Gross – $16,000,000 / Domestic: $7,316,658 (Worldwide: $8,378,853)

(Disastrous, but I’m also highly skeptical of that budget. It seems unlikely they forked over $15 million+ for a haunted house film starring notable non-actor Snoop Dogg.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 25% (18/71): Slow to start, the sleek looking Bones is more silly than scary.

(At least it is sleek looking though. That seems somewhat promising.)

Reviewer Highlight: A garish, grotesque slab of silliness drowned in bloody visual effects overkill with an end result that is more horrible than horrific. – Michael Rechtshaffen, Hollywood Reporter

Poster – Boners

(I dig it. I think the only odd thing about it is that they treat Snoop Dogg like he’s a) the star of the film and b) the equivalent of Kevin Costner in star power. But the color is nice, the font is cool and sure, Snoop Dogg is the draw here. B+)

Tagline(s) – This Halloween, unleash the Dogg. (C+)

(I guess a play on unleash the hounds. That’s a phrase, right? Or is it release the hounds? I’m not sure it matters because this is a weird tagline. Short and going for something, but not good.)

Keyword(s) – blaxploitation

Top 10: Django Unchained (2012), Black Panther (2018), Jackie Brown (1997), Candyman (2021), Boyz n the Hood (1991), Black and Blue (2019), Straight Outta Compton (2015), Black Snake Moan (2006), The Last Dragon (1985), The First Purge (2018)

Future BMT: 48.5 Pootie Tang (2001), 42.6 Love Don’t Cost a Thing (2003), 37.8 Action Jackson (1988), 29.1 Waist Deep (2006), 25.3 Breakin’ (1984)

BMT: Shaft (2019), Alex Cross (2012), Proud Mary (2018), Steel (1997), Bones (2001), Never Die Alone (2004)

Matches: Dolemite Is My Name (2019), I’m Gonna Git You Sucka (1988), The Hebrew Hammer (2003), Naked Acts (1996), Willa Mae, the Church Lady Vampire Slayer (2009)

(Interesting that it pretty much died after the mid-90s right after on of the better examples of blaxploitation homage in Jackie Brown. Alex Cross isn’t blaxploitation though, so I’m also a bit skeptical of the keyword in general.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 15) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Pam Grier is No. 2 billed in Bones and No. 5 billed in Ghosts of Mars, which also stars Jason Statham (No. 3 billed) who is in In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (No. 1 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (2 + 5) + (3 + 1) + (3 + 1) = 15. There is no shorter path at the moment.

Notes – This was the first time where Snoop Dogg and Pam Grier collaborated together on film – they have done music videos since 1993.

Snoop Dogg and Pam Grier play lovers who are supposed to be the same age. In reality, Grier was born in 1949 and Snoop Dogg was born in 1971 (a 22-year age difference).

Ernest Dickerson’s original cut was structured more like a classical horror movie. The movie was meant to be slow build but the studio wanted a more modern approach.

Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers Recap

Jamie

Oooooooo, baby. Now we’re starting to cook with fire. Remember when Michael was shot with a machine gun, fell down a well, and was blown up by dynamite? Forget all that. Instead you’ll be treated to a real funny scene where they show him crawling away just before the dynamite goes off so that he can float down river and find his way to a homeless man who, no joke, takes care of him for an entire year! An entire year where Michael is apparently comatose! Who the hell is this dude who lives down by the Haddonfield River (I assume) taking care of random people in comas?! Give me his origin story. This is the level of film we are dealing with here. Not only do they feel the need to show and tell the audience exactly how Michael could have survived the end of the last movie, but they do it like they are aliens that have never encountered human beings and/or normal film narrative. Following Michael’s return for revenge we obviously also get the return (and revenge?) of Loomis and he’s actually disturbingly insane at this point. The rest of the film is psychic connections, The Cult of Thorn, and The Man in Black and at this point I’m sure you’re totally confused. Actually watching the film doesn’t help much. The film is just 90% teeny-boppers getting murdered while dressed up sexy for Halloween and 10% unexplained supernatural nonsense. We end with a cliffhanger where Michael and Jamie are captured from jail by The Man in Black and it really feels like the people making the film were just saying “We dare you. We dare you to try to explain away this shit.” And they were right. The next entry is forced to lean into the real dumb stuff done in this one.

Really the film is building an incredible amount of lore in the most confusing and vague way possible. I appreciate it in the sense that I love dumb lore. I love franchises where a random person can come in and be like “I’m putting my stamp on this,” and no matter how stupid everything is, fans of the franchise have to try to explain all of it. And to think, for six years fans had to try to explain this movie with only the vague hints from this one as guidance. Would love to see what kind of theories came about in that time. The funniest part of all this is that I legit think this might be the second scariest of the films in the first six entries. There are a lot of creepy scenes with Michael skulking about a house without people knowing. He’ll creep silently out of a closet and disappear only to jump out for the kill later. Then they totally submarine it all with the lore. They can’t help it. Gotta make your mark on the series. Patrick? 

Patrick

‘Ello everyone! Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers? More like Even More Contrived: The Film’s Plot is Still Dire … yeah turns out there isn’t much to rhyme with these titles. Loomis is back, jack! And he’s ready to disappear for 30-40 minutes until he saves the day juuuuuuuuust at the end of the film. Let’s go!

  • Yeah, well this one is totally better than the other ones because in those Loomis disappeared for about 30 minutes showing up moments before Michael kills the hero. In this one he does that twice! Take that, all the other Halloween films!
  • Man a mysterious Man in Black? A mysterious Thorn symbol on Michael’s wrist? Can’t wait to learn what that is all about … Oh wait, you never do. Just whole elements left for a sequel which didn’t ultimately happen for six years. Imagine if they never made Halloween 6? Oh to live in such a beautiful world.
  • Full blown mystical psychic connections? Ahhhhh, finally, Halloween is catching up with what Friday the 13th was putting down for years in that bonkers series.
  • All that being said: the film at times is a decent cheesy slasher. I’m thinking of the barn scene. Which incidentally is also the scene which seemed most similar to Friday the 13th.
  • These two Halloween films are so weird. If the notes are to be believed there were half-decent scripts being developed, but then the directors just threw them in the trash in favor of gore and franchise horror tropes. And then all of the stuff from the other scripts ended up being peppered into the next five films.
  • Once again a solid Setting as a Character (Where?) for Haddonfield, IL. And an A+ Holiday Film (When?) for Halloween. This might actually be the Worst Twist (Why?) ever for the inexplicable non-twist of actually telling us anything about Thorn and the Man in Black!
  • This is a BMT film through and through, or at least required viewing for Halloween 6.

Once again, it feels like there isn’t a whole lot to say about Halloween 4 and 5. They are an odd turn in the franchise where Carpenter was half-pushed out of the production and people who seemingly didn’t care much for the established lore (or even really the fundamental idea of the franchise) took over. And it is why against all odds, it is the worst franchise of the big three … although I haven’t seen Resurrection. There is an outside shot that saves it to some degree since it looks truly b-b-b-b-b-b-bonkers.

Cheerios,

The Sklogs

Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers Recap

Jamie

Michael Myers is back, Jack! You might think that’s a given, but they really did have to make it very clear that this time around Michael Myers would actually appear in the newest Halloween film. Sure the last one had *checks notes* a mask factory that used a piece of stonehenge to magically destroy the world’s children but… uh… forget all that. Instead recall back to Halloween II which ended with *checks notes* the incineration of both Loomis and Michael Myers. So uh… forget that too. Turns out our two favorite characters just got some minor scrapes and burns and they’re back in Haddonfield, IL on Halloween doing what they love to do: killing and being a literal crazy person (honestly Loomis is starting to come off decidedly more crazy than Michael at this point). It’s a wild ride from there as they more or less rehash the plot of the first film except instead of Michael chasing a babysitter he’s chasing his niece, Jamie. You know, because we were all extremely invested in the idea that Michael Myers needs a specific familial motivation for his murder. From there it proceeds as expected more or less. People attempt to stop Michael. Michael is unstoppable. People run. But Michael keeps on coming. Until finally they shoot him with a machine gun and he falls into a sinkhole… just the classics really. The BIG TWIST comes at the end when Jamie is revealed to have psychically connected to Michael and now is a murderous child like he was! Thus starting the cycle anew… you know, until they have us forget that too. As Loomis would say, “Goddamn you!” 

As an unabashed fan of franchises I can tell you I was pretty excited to make our way through Halloween again. I had recalled from previous times watching these entries (sure I’ve seen them before) this was where things really went off the rails in a way that was particularly unusual for the major horror franchises. I say that only in the sense that most of these franchises eventually head into some kind of meta commentary that borders or jumps fully into horror-comedy territory. Halloween never really did that and instead veered directly into unintentional comedy. This, however, is not one of those and is instead just a run-of-the-mill, generic horror film whose sole purpose is to get the franchise back on its feet so they can swiftly kick it in the balls a few more times. Is it good? Oh deary me, no. Is it bad? Not exactly. It just is. This turkey is still cooking. You gotta wait for the next two to really get into the juicy stuff. Patrick?

Patrick

‘Ello everyone! Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers? More like Halloween Bore: This Movie’s Plot is Dire, amirite? There it is. There’s the kind of play on words which made me stop doing that segment back in the day. Remember how in 1988 everyone was like “I can’t get enough of that Loomis! Give me more Loomis!”? No? Well, they must have because he’s now the main character of a horror franchise! Let’s go!

  • Speaking of Loomis, as amusing as it already is that they decided they just needed more Loomis (that they had a disease and the only cure was more Loomis…), it is infinitely more amusing that he just disappears for the middle 30-40 minutes of the film … again. He does it again, just like in the first and second films.
  • I’m pretty sure nearly every person you meet in the film besides the people you see at the end die except for Wade! Wade, the loveable loser who just can’t ask Kelly out on a date. Oh Wade, I hope your Halloween was a blast.
  • The film is kind of okay for the most part. At least you watch it and it seems like a normal generic franchise horror film.
  • Well riiiiiiiight up until the end when they explicitly reveal the psychic connection between Michael and his niece. That is what we at BMTHQ call a Slap in the Face™. Spoilers, they pick up that football and run with it.
  • The hero of the film? The inexplicable famer’s sinkhole that Michael falls into. No one seems the least bit concerned about the enormous sinkhole they just saw a masked murderer fall into after being shot hundreds of times.
  • Obviously we got excellent Setting as a Character (Where?) for Haddonfield, IL, probably the second most famous horror location after Elm St (maybe just beating out Crystal Lake). And an A+ Holiday Film (When?) for Halloween. I’m going to give a minor Planchet (Who?) for my boy Wade. And a definite Worst Twist (How?) for the reveal that Jamie is psychically connected to Michael and is now a murderer as well (at least that is what it indicated).
  • Definite BMT for me, as the film really starts to suck the life out of a quintessential horror franchise.

I’m going to leave it there because honestly there isn’t much to say about Halloween 4. It seems kind of good for most of the runtime. But then the end really sucks, and it is mostly blah. Give me more Wade! Now that is who should have been the next main character of the franchise. Open Halloween 5 with Loomis’ suicide note as he, indeed, didn’t see a reason to live now that he thinks Michael is dead. But then Wade, on the anniversary of his main man Brady’s death, hears that Michael is back and takes up arms! I would definitely watch that. Give me that alternate Halloween timeline stat!

Cheerios,

The Sklogs

Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers Quiz

Oh man. So last year my uncle tried to kill me. This year, I totes have a real bad psychic connection with him! Naturally this results in me “losing time” and I can’t remember a thing. Do you remember what happened in Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers?

Pop Quiz Hot Shot!

1) One year later Michael awakens, the psychic connection between him and Jamie in full force. Where was Michael for the year he was missing?

2) We also see a symbol on Michael’s wrist, and we see glimpses of a mysterious Man in Black. What symbol, what does it mean, and who is the Man in Black?

3) Throughout the film we see the psychic connection at work. What does she psychically witness via the connection?

4) The climax of the film occurs at the farm where all of the teenagers are having a party. Lucky for Tina, Jamie shows up to distract Miachel. Ultimately how does Jamie escape?

5) What is the ultimate plan to kill Michael?

Bonus Question: You thought we left it on a cliffhanger? Then you must not have seen the mid-credits scene where they showed just where the Man in Black took Michael. Where?

Answers

Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers Quiz

Oh man, so my uncle (who is an infamous unstoppable killing machine) is back in town and boy howdy does he seem peeved with me! Odd thing is I’ve never met him. Oddest thing though, I’ve been having these horrible nightmares and in one of them he just bopped me right on the head and gave me a concussion! In my dream I couldn’t remember a thing. Do you remember what happened in Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers?

Pop Quiz Hot Shot!

1) We start on a stormy night IN HELL … er, well I mean Ridgemont Federal Sanitarium, where Michael Myers is being prepped for transfer. Why is he getting transfered?

2) We also get to meet Jamie Lloyd and Rachel Carruthers. Jamie is an orphan living with Rachel’s family. How is she related to Michael Myers, and how did Rachel know Jamie’s parents?

3) Rachel really wants to go super steady with town hunk Brady. Why can’t she go with him tonight, and what does he do instead?

4) Here’s an easy one. What did Jamie dress up as for Halloween?

5) In the end Myers is finally “killed”. How does Loomis think he dies?

Bonus Question: In a mid-credits scene we see the return of Wade (remember? The guy who hit on Kelly Meeker, Brady’s friend). Where is he headed?

Answers

Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers Preview

Mud splashes in Young Jamie’s face and Jamie and Patrick fist bump and laugh as they watch the dirt mingle with his tears. The youngsters hopped on their own motorbikes in an attempt to battle their older counterparts’ sick moves. Alas, without the years of professional dance under their belts they couldn’t keep up. “Who… who are you guys?” asks Young Patrick, sniffling sadly at his own lack of motorbike skillz. Patrick throws up his hands. The youngsters shouldn’t worry about who they are. “The short and sweet of it is that we are who you could become if you learn the three R’s: reading, writing, and total radness.” Boom. A look of wonder and self-reflection cross the faces of the younger versions of themselves. They predator high five and vow to read, write, and be super rad by being kind and inclusive to others. Boy, that was easy. Jamie and Patrick nod at each other and prepare to head back to the time machine. They were certain this would take at least eight or nine short adventures to achieve their goal. “Hey wait,” the youngsters say, “Aren’t you going to stick around for dinner?” Patrick is about to explain that they don’t make it a habit to dine with children because they are adults and kids are boring when Young Jamie chimes in, “Yeah, and then afterwards is trick-or-treating!” Jamie and Patrick look at each other in shock, a shared feeling about this moment flooding back to them. They may have turned their lives around with their rad tricks and sage advice, but something about Young Jamie’s words make them think they have one more thing left to do. Halloween, late 90’s, tricks and/or treats… something monstrous is on the horizon. That’s right! We’re heading on through another horror franchise and boooooyyyyy howdy do I love franchises. Halloween might be the most critically disappointing of the major franchises. Started at the highest of highs and then really tanked starting with Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers. And that’s where we start and pick up a bonus in Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers. Both under 90 minutes. Let’s go!

Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers (1989) – BMeTric: 60.3; Notability: 26

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 1.2%; Notability: top 17.6%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 6.7%; Higher BMeT: Police Academy 6: City Under Siege, Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan, A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child; Higher Notability: Tango & Cash, Troop Beverly Hills, Star Trek V: The Final Frontier, A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child, See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Fletch Lives, Harlem Nights, Leviathan, Pink Cadillac, Family Business, Lock Up, Millennium, Police Academy 6: City Under Siege, Three Fugitives, Dead Bang, Renegades, Let It Ride, Slaves of New York, The Karate Kid Part III, Who’s Harry Crumb?, and 24 more; Lower RT: Dream a Little Dream, Police Academy 6: City Under Siege, Kinjite: Forbidden Subjects, The Horror Show, The Toxic Avenger Part II, Stepfather II: Make Room for Daddy, Night Game, Wired, Wild Orchid, DeepStar Six, No Holds Barred, Rooftops, She’s Out of Control, Winter People, Millennium, Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan; Notes: Huh … now that I look at both of these plots together, both of the ratings tick down at the same time. Much have been a purge of fake / suspicious votes or something. Maybe some misguided marketing attempt for the new film? Maybe a backlash to the new film? Maybe robots running wild? Who knows. This rating is more like it though, we’ve seen all of the other higher BMeT films as well.

Leonard Maltin – 1.5 stars –  Slightly more plot than before but still just a sequential slaughter of teenagers as Michael Myers (Shanks) again sets out to kill his young niece (Harris). Routine and plodding, with too many endings and unnecessary setup for a sequel.

(Interesting. There is a sequel. But from what I remember the sequel is barely connected to this film. Doesn’t it jump forward a bunch of years to the child of the kid in this one? I honestly can’t remember the setup now that I think about it.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j37xXYWN7rc/

(Hate the beginning with the “help me, help me.” Also they weren’t ready, and he’s not unmasked. What a bizarre ad campaign!)

DirectorsDominique Othenin-Girard – ( Known For: Beyond Desire; After Darkness; BMT: Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers; Notes: From Switzerland. Evidently attempted to make a transition to Hollywood in the late-80s, but is more well known on the European indie scene.)

WritersJohn Carpenter – ( Known For: Halloween Kills; They Live; Halloween; Escape from New York; Halloween; The Fog; Escape from L.A.; Prince of Darkness; Halloween H20: 20 Years Later; Assault on Precinct 13; Assault on Precinct 13; Eyes of Laura Mars; Dark Star; Black Moon Rising; Future BMT: Halloween; Lockout; Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers; Halloween: Resurrection; BMT: Halloween II; Ghosts of Mars; Halloween III: Season of the Witch; The Fog; Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers; Notes: Still kicking around Hollywood, although he hasn’t actually written a film since 2001’s Ghosts of Mars. He likes to make his own synth-heavy soundtracks.)

Debra Hill – ( Known For: Halloween Kills; Halloween; Halloween; The Fog; Escape from L.A.; Halloween H20: 20 Years Later; Future BMT: Halloween; Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers; Halloween: Resurrection; BMT: Halloween II; The Fog; Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers; Notes: Died in 2005, she was well known as the frequent collaborator and producer with John Carpenter on his most well known films.)

Michael Jacobs – ( Known For: Certain Fury; BMT: Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers; Notes: Hasn’t written anything since the late-80s … that is until the upcoming documentary about the surveillance state in the United States? Yeah, that’s in post-production.)

Dominique Othenin-Girard – ( Known For: After Darkness; BMT: Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers; Notes: Was educated in London and has directed across the globe, although most well known for his work in Switzerland.)

Shem Bitterman – ( Known For: The Job; Out of the Rain; BMT: Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers; Notes: Trained as an actor, he also produces plays which appears to be what he is most famous for.)

ActorsDonald Pleasence – ( Known For: The Eagle Has Landed; The Great Escape; Halloween; Escape from New York; You Only Live Twice; The Greatest Story Ever Told; Phenomena; THX 1138; Fantastic Voyage; Prince of Darkness; Soldier Blue; Escape to Witch Mountain; Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band; Wake in Fright; The Last Tycoon; Dracula; Alone in the Dark; Malachi’s Cove; The Hallelujah Trail; Watch Out, We’re Mad; Future BMT: Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers; BMT: Halloween II; Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers; Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers; Notes: Started acting in the 50s, oddly in television films. Obviously became most well known for his role as Dr. Loomis in the Halloween films.)

Danielle Harris – ( Known For: Once Upon a Time… In Hollywood; Free Willy; The Last Boy Scout; City Slickers; The Town That Dreaded Sundown; Stake Land; Hatchet II; See No Evil 2; Victor Crowley; Hatchet III; The Wild Thornberrys; The Victim; Blood Night: The Legend of Mary Hatchet; Camp Cold Brook; Chromeskull: Laid to Rest 2; Shiver; Havenhurst; Poor White Trash; Super Capers: The Origins of Ed and the Missing Bullion; Left for Dead; Future BMT: Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead; Halloween; Marked for Death; Halloween II; Rugrats Go Wild; BMT: Urban Legend; Daylight; Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers; Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers; Notes: Still working, including in shows like Creepshow true to her horror past.)

Ellie Cornell – ( Known For: Married to the Mob; The Specials; Room 6; Free Enterprise; All Souls Day: Dia de los Muertos; The Thirst; Future BMT: House of the Dead; BMT: Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers; Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers; Notes: Was supposed to be in A League of Their Own but had to drop out when she became pregnant.)

Budget/Gross – $5,000,000 / Domestic: $11,642,254 (Worldwide: $11,642,254)

(Just going down and down and down. It isn’t a surprise they scrapped whatever plans they originally had for the sequel and only finally made it six years later. What a disastrous franchise performance.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 12% (3/25): Halloween 5: The Revenge Of Michael Myers finds the series embracing crude slasher conventions with pedestrian scares, disposable characters, and aimless plotting.

(Spoiler alert: it always did. That was the issue. The issue was they created the best original film of the bunch and then had nowhere to go but the unstoppable killer / horrible lore route. Even the second one was a pretty nonsensical rehash of the original’s ideas.)

Reviewer Highlight: A prime example of the principle of diminishing reruns. – Richard Harrington, Washington Post

Poster – Sklogoween 5: The Revenge of Slithers the Friendly Snake

(I like this one a little better than #4. It’s a little more artistic with the knife and the girl and thankfully they made the mask a little smaller instead of weirdly huge. Still not great. C)

Tagline(s) – Michael Lives, And This Time They’re Ready! (C+)

(Yeah, OK. I can get with this one at least. This time they’re ready… sure… I mean, it’s not true, but there’s no law against a tagline being wrong, right? RIGHT?! THAT’S NOT A LAW, RIGHT?!)

Keyword(s) – killing-spree

Top 10: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 (2011), Venom: Let There Be Carnage (2021), Antlers (2021), The Dark Knight (2008), Scream (1996), Malignant (2021), Deadpool 2 (2018), Goodfellas (1990), Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark (2019), The Silence of the Lambs (1991)

Future BMT: 64.7 The Crow: City of Angels (1996), 62.7 The Hills Have Eyes 2 (2007), 61.0 When a Stranger Calls (2006), 54.4 Eye of the Beholder (1999), 45.9 Jeepers Creepers 2 (2003), 41.5 Hell Fest (2018), 41.1 The Purge (2013), 40.5 Hollow Man (2000), 40.2 The Forsaken (2001), 39.9 Ghost in the Machine (1993)

BMT: London Has Fallen (2016), Conan the Barbarian (2011), House of Wax (2005), Queen of the Damned (2002), Red Riding Hood (2011), The Lawnmower Man (1992), Friday the 13th Part III (1982), Species II (1998), Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (1984), Dracula 2000 (2000), Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday (1993), Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (1988), Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers (1989), Vampire in Brooklyn (1995)

Matches: Halloween (2018), Friday the 13th Part III (1982), Idle Hands (1999), Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (1988), Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers (1989), Christmas Evil (1980), Silent Rage (1982), Meeting Evil (2012), Who’s Watching Oliver (2017), Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer, Part 2 (1996), Dahmer vs. Gacy (2010), Heavy Mental: A Rock-n-Roll Blood Bath (2009)

(I should have just done Halloween again. Let’s see though, When a Stranger Calls is definitely one of those films we should have watched six years ago and still haven’t. Same goes for Hollow Man, which is a real weird film.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 15) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Donald Pleasence is No. 1 billed in Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers and No. 2 billed in Halloween II, which also stars Jamie Lee Curtis (No. 1 billed) who is in Christmas with the Kranks (No. 2 billed) which also stars Tim Allen (No. 1 billed) who is in Jungle 2 Jungle (No. 1 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 6 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (1 + 2) + (1 + 2) + (1 + 1) + (6 + 1) = 15. There is no shorter path at the moment.

Notes – After filming for two weeks, Donald Pleasence gave his much bigger trailer to Danielle Harris once he left set. Harris’s mother had been complaining about the small size of her daughter’s trailer and Pleasence decided that she should have his.

Despite the subtitle “The Revenge of Michael Myers” which appears on all movie covers and posters, it does not appear in the actual film. It only says “Halloween 5” in the opening credits.

Lowest grossing film in the entire series.

Don Shanks was originally set to wear the same mask that George P. Wilbur had worn in Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (1988) in order to retain consistency between the movies. The mask did not fit Shanks, so a new one was made.

KNB Effects had designed grotesque facial makeup for Michael Myers’ unmasking toward the end of the film. The producers told them to do so as an option, either showing Michael’s badly scarred face or keep it in the dark. They went for the latter.

The old hermit from the opening scene was originally scripted as a younger man named “Dr. Death” who had a fascination with the occult. His shack was supposed to be filled with ancient runes and tablets, and he attempted to bring Michael back to life after finding him. This scene was filmed, and can be seen in Inside ‘Halloween 5’ (2000).

The film’s first screenplay, which was written by Shem Bitterman, featured Jamie Lloyd and Michael Myers as dual antagonists, with a now-teenage Jamie going on a killing spree of her own, Myers attempting to kill her because she was unwittingly interfering with his own spree, and Rachel being caught in the middle. Executive producer Moustapha Akkad disliked the screenplay, feeling it felt more like a parody of the Halloween series than an actual entry in it, and also because he had already promised Danielle Harris that she would be allowed to return as Jamie, and did not think that the 12-year-old Harris would be credible as a serial killer. As a result, the screenplay was rewritten essentially from scratch by Michael Jacobs and director Dominique Othenin-Girard, though Bitterman remained credited for contractual reasons.

Donald Pleasence was very vocal about his dissatisfaction with the story and with the way director Dominique Othenin – Girard was trying to get him to play Dr Loomis as totally heavy and overbearing. Pleasence also felt that the success and the shock ending of Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (1988) was not being capitalized on.

In the script, Rachel had Tina’s role, and Tina had Rachel’s, with a vast change in character for Rachel. Also the script had a scene in the Myers’ house that had The Shape fall through the floor into a cage in the basement, and the end had Michael escaping with Sheriff Meeker finding an empty cell, and other drafts had Meeker dying.

Footage was added to the beginning of the movie (from that previously used near the ending of Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers) to show that Michael had actually fallen down a nearby mineshaft rather than just being “swallowed by the ground.”

The film had been fighting an X rating with the violence, blood, and gore. Some scenes were trimmed down to keep it rated R, including a shot of Mike quivering on the ground after Michael stabs him in the head with a hand rake, a shot of glass embedded in Officer Eddy’s face after Michael punches through the windshield, and Billy’s leg being hit by the Camaro, the scythe that kills Samantha was originally supposed to go through her forehead.

Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers Preview

Mud splashes in Young Jamie’s face and Jamie and Patrick fist bump and laugh as they watch the dirt mingle with his tears. The youngsters hopped on their own motorbikes in an attempt to battle their older counterparts’ sick moves. Alas, without the years of professional dance under their belts they couldn’t keep up. “Who… who are you guys?” asks Young Patrick, sniffling sadly at his own lack of motorbike skillz. Patrick throws up his hands. The youngsters shouldn’t worry about who they are. “The short and sweet of it is that we are who you could become if you learn the three R’s: reading, writing, and total radness.” Boom. A look of wonder and self-reflection cross the faces of the younger versions of themselves. They predator high five and vow to read, write, and be super rad by being kind and inclusive to others. Boy, that was easy. Jamie and Patrick nod at each other and prepare to head back to the time machine. They were certain this would take at least eight or nine short adventures to achieve their goal. “Hey wait,” the youngsters say, “Aren’t you going to stick around for dinner?” Patrick is about to explain that they don’t make it a habit to dine with children because they are adults and kids are boring when Young Jamie chimes in, “Yeah, and then afterwards is trick-or-treating!” Jamie and Patrick look at each other in shock, a shared feeling about this moment flooding back to them. They may have turned their lives around with their rad tricks and sage advice, but something about Young Jamie’s words make them think they have one more thing left to do. Halloween, late 90’s, tricks and/or treats… something monstrous is on the horizon. That’s right! We’re heading on through another horror franchise and boooooyyyyy howdy do I love franchises. Halloween might be the most critically disappointing of the major franchises. Started at the highest of highs and then really tanked starting with Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers. And that’s where we start and pick up a bonus in Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers. Both under 90 minutes. Let’s go!

Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (1988) – BMeTric: 38.4; Notability: 28

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 6.4%; Notability: top 12.8%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 14.0%; Higher BMeT: Mac and Me, Caddyshack II, Police Academy 5: Assignment: Miami Beach, Poltergeist III, Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood, Johnny Be Good, Alien from L.A., Arthur 2: On the Rocks, My Stepmother Is an Alien, Big Top Pee-wee, Cocoon: The Return, Red Scorpion, Critters 2, Return of the Killer Tomatoes!, Hot to Trot, Two Moon Junction; Higher Notability: Action Jackson, Sunset, High Spirits, Caddyshack II, Big Top Pee-wee, My Stepmother Is an Alien, Cocoon: The Return, Moving, The Couch Trip, License to Drive, Vibes, Cocktail, Arthur 2: On the Rocks, Hot to Trot, The Seventh Sign, Mac and Me, Police Academy 5: Assignment: Miami Beach, Short Circuit 2, The Presidio, Bad Dreams, and 12 more; Lower RT: Two Moon Junction, Illegally Yours, Police Academy 5: Assignment: Miami Beach, Johnny Be Good, Return of the Living Dead II, Watchers, Return of the Killer Tomatoes!, Hot to Trot, Fresh Horses, Hero and the Terror, Mac and Me, Caddyshack II, Cocktail, Dead Heat, Arthur 2: On the Rocks, Action Jackson, Vibes, The Prince of Pennsylvania, The Seventh Sign, 976-EVIL, and 14 more; Notes: The rating just keeps on rising! Pretty silly that it does, the movie isn’t very good. Man, we still have a ton of solid 1988 films to watch. What are we doing?

Leonard Maltin – 2 stars –  Unkillable monster is back, this time mindlessly headed for his hometown to murder his niece (young Harris). Standard horror thriller is technically well made but offers little novelty.

(Maltin reviews sometimes really confuse me. Like, this one is waaaaay shorter than most any review, and yet he can’t be bothered to put commas in places or add a “The” to the start of the review? He peppers semicolons all over his reviews, and then gets precious with commas? Just bizarre stuff. Oh the review? Yeah, sounds about right.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1SpDZ1eErzM/

(Decent trailer. Shows enough to know you are going to get the kills you expect from the 1988 horror landscape, but also an interesting take on reintroducing Myers to the franchise.)

DirectorsDwight H. Little – ( Known For: Tekken; The Last Rampage; Free Willy 2: The Adventure Home; Rapid Fire; Bloodstone; Getting Even; KGB: The Secret War; Future BMT: Marked for Death; Murder at 1600; The Phantom of the Opera; BMT: Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers; Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid; Notes: Ended up being a big television director, including 23 episodes of Bones. Seems like he’s been retired since 2018.)

WritersDhani Lipsius – ( BMT: Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers; Notes: Produced the Butterfly Effect DVD extras, and was an assistant on Cheers in 1983.)

Larry Rattner – ( BMT: Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers; Notes: Mostly a producer, like for the movie Far More starring Adrian Grenier.)

Benjamin Ruffner – ( BMT: Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers; Notes: Literally nothing about this person on IMDb, and on Variety he has only been mentioned in reference to this production.)

Alan B. McElroy – ( Known For: Wrong Turn; Fractured; Tekken; Rapid Fire; Thr3e; Future BMT: Wrong Turn; Spawn; The Perfect Guy; BMT: The Marine; Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers; Left Behind: The Movie; Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever; Notes: A writer on Star Trek: Discovery. Still makes horror films, like Wrong Turn which came out last year. Was part of the Columbia Pictures Writing Program.)

ActorsDonald Pleasence – ( Known For: The Eagle Has Landed; The Great Escape; Halloween; Escape from New York; You Only Live Twice; The Greatest Story Ever Told; Phenomena; THX 1138; Fantastic Voyage; Prince of Darkness; Soldier Blue; Escape to Witch Mountain; Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band; Wake in Fright; The Last Tycoon; Dracula; Alone in the Dark; Malachi’s Cove; The Hallelujah Trail; Watch Out, We’re Mad; Future BMT: Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers; BMT: Halloween II; Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers; Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers; Notes: Died in 1995. Nominated for an Emmy for The Defection of Simas Kudirka. I think he’s most famous as the original Blofeld in the Bond films.)

Ellie Cornell – ( Known For: Married to the Mob; The Specials; Room 6; Free Enterprise; All Souls Day: Dia de los Muertos; The Thirst; Future BMT: House of the Dead; BMT: Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers; Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers; Notes: Still working, although she took an eight year break in the 90s. Founded Mindfire Entertainment.)

Danielle Harris – ( Known For: Once Upon a Time… In Hollywood; Free Willy; The Last Boy Scout; City Slickers; The Town That Dreaded Sundown; Stake Land; Hatchet II; See No Evil 2; Victor Crowley; Hatchet III; The Wild Thornberrys; The Victim; Blood Night: The Legend of Mary Hatchet; Camp Cold Brook; Chromeskull: Laid to Rest 2; Shiver; Havenhurst; Poor White Trash; Super Capers: The Origins of Ed and the Missing Bullion; Left for Dead; Future BMT: Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead; Halloween; Marked for Death; Halloween II; Rugrats Go Wild; BMT: Urban Legend; Daylight; Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers; Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers; Notes: Apparently sold the clown costume she wore in this film to a fan for his personal Halloween collection.)

Budget/Gross – $5,000,000 / Domestic: $17,768,757 (Worldwide: $17,768,757)

(I think this is just how horror films were back in the day? It is worse than the mid-franchise installments of Elm Street and Friday the 13th though. That is a shockingly low take only made palatable by the shockingly low budget.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 29% (8/28): Halloween 4: The Return Of Michaels Myers may bring the series’ masked killer back into the fold, but fails to offer the visceral scares and inventiveness of the original.

(I mean, how can you match the inventiveness of the original when you are forced to use the same killer over and over. Isn’t that the story of Halloween 3? They tried something new, it didn’t work, the franchise falls apart in three years.)

Reviewer Highlight: It seems the latest stage in some curious evolutionary pattern; the slasher species keeps proliferating and getting weaker at the same time. – Caryn James, New York Times

Poster – Sklogoween 4: The Return of Bagpipes McGee

(Wooooah, that’s horrible. I guess I’d hang it in my room as a joke or something. It looks like a local advertisement for a mattress store or something. Gah, I have to stop looking at it. It’s growing on me with its weird giant mask. Noooooo D.)

Tagline(s) – Ten Years Ago HE Changed The Face Of Halloween. Tonight HE’S BACK! (D)

(Stupid meta-tagline. Even too long to be effective at that. May as well have just gone with the generic HE’S BACK instead.)

Keyword(s) – halloween

Top 10: Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone (2001), The Karate Kid (1984), Antlers (2021), Deadpool (2016), Silver Linings Playbook (2012), Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark (2019), Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005), E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial (1982), Halloween Kills (2021), Rent (2005)

Future BMT: 84.1 Halloween: Resurrection (2002), 72.1 Bewitched (2005), 70.5 Halloween II (2009), 70.0 Texas Chainsaw (2013), 67.8 Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers (1995), 64.7 The Crow: City of Angels (1996), 61.4 Skinwalkers (2006), 60.5 Pet Sematary II (1992), 57.0 The Next Best Thing (2000), 54.3 Hanging Up (2000)

BMT: Batman Forever (1995), The Predator (2018), Thir13en Ghosts (2001), Son of the Mask (2005), Made of Honor (2008), Halloween II (1981), Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982), Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (1988), Deadly Friend (1986), Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers (1989), Boo! A Madea Halloween (2016), Town & Country (2001)

Matches: Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark (2019), Halloween Kills (2021), Scary Movie (2000), The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993), The Crow (1994), Hubie Halloween (2020), Haunt (2019), Halloween (2018), Terrifier (2016), When We First Met (2018), A Cinderella Story (2004), Monster House (2006), Halloween H20: 20 Years Later (1998), Hell House LLC (2015), Idle Hands (1999), Trick ‘r Treat (2007), Bad Candy (2020), Fun Size (2012), Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982), Night of the Demons (1988), Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (1988), Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers (1995), Goosebumps 2: Haunted Halloween (2018), Halloween: Resurrection (2002), Halloween II (2009), The Hollywood Knights (1980), Pet Sematary II (1992), Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers (1989), Hurt (2018), Stan Helsing (2009), Blood Fest (2018), All Hallows’ Eve (2013), Pay the Ghost (2015), Murder Party (2007), Night of the Demons (2009), Boo! A Madea Halloween (2016), Candy Corn (2019), Tales of Halloween (2015), Boo 2! A Madea Halloween (2017), … (and many more)

(Kind of ridiculous how few (relatively) we’ve done, but we are working on it. Hanging up sounds weird. Basically Diane Keaton, Meg Ryan, and Lisa Kudrow all don’t care that Walter Matthau is going to die … that’s the plotline.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 16) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Donald Pleasence is No. 2 billed in Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers and No. 2 billed in Halloween II, which also stars Jamie Lee Curtis (No. 1 billed) who is in Christmas with the Kranks (No. 2 billed) which also stars Tim Allen (No. 1 billed) who is in Jungle 2 Jungle (No. 1 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 6 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (2 + 2) + (1 + 2) + (1 + 1) + (6 + 1) = 16. There is no shorter path at the moment.

Notes – Just so Danielle Harris wouldn’t be scared, George P. Wilbur would often lift up his mask between takes to remind her that they were just making a movie and that he was not really going to hurt her.

The girl Lindsey who drove Rachel and Jamie to the discount mart was going to be revealed as Lindsey Wallace from Halloween (1978) and have a larger part in the film as Rachel’s friend and helping her babysit Jamie, but that was cut for budget reasons. The third boy hanging out with Brady and Wade in the drug store was meant to be Tommy Doyle from the original film.

A scene was filmed to bridge the story with Halloween II (1981). It was a flashback to the finale of part II, with a scene where Loomis is being tended to by paramedics when he sees the burning body of The Shape. Loomis exclaims to the EMS technicians to “Let Him Burn!” but they douse the flaming body of Myers despite his pleas. This moment was added to Halloween Kills (2021) with Laurie (Jamie Lee Curtis) saying the line after she sets her house on fire with Michael trapped at the end of Halloween (2018).

Series creator John Carpenter wrote a treatment for this film that had a more ghostly psychological approach to the Michael Myers mythos. It concerned the town of Haddonfield and what effect the events of the first two films had on its citizens. This concept was later rejected by the producers in favor of the typical slasher fare, at which point Carpenter left out of the film, making this the first in the series to have no participation from him.

Alan B. McElroy wrote the script in 11 days and beat the writer’s strike by mere hours.

Originally, when Jamie and Loomis were trapped in the school, Jamie hid in a classroom under a desk. Michael entered searching for her, throwing the desks over. Although due to time constraints this sequence was not shot for this film, it was remembered by producer Moustapha Akkad and later re-used in Halloween H20: 20 Years Later (1998).

In the schoolhouse, Michael’s mask appears, briefly, with blonde hair. This mask was the original type chosen for the film. However, it was decided to go with a design with brown hair, resulting in re-shoots. The mask with brown hair was chosen to match the style seen in the first two films in the series, with the blonde-haired mask appearing only in the schoolhouse sequence.

The ambulance that transports Michael Myers was a prison bus in an earlier draft of the script. Michael escaping from a prison bus was later used 30 years later in Halloween (2018).

This film is the first time Michael Myers is credited with his name, as opposed to bring credited as “The Shape.”

1988 was the first year in which all 3 of the then top horror franchises (Halloween, Friday the 13th, and A Nightmare On Elm Street) all released new films in the same year: Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers, Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood, and A Nightmare On Elm Street 4: The Dream Master. Additionally, the first Child’s Play was also released in 1988, as were Hellbound: Hellraiser 2 and Phantasm 2, all of which would also become major horror franchises.

The original ending had Rachel go upstairs to take a shower and replace the dirty, blood-stained clothes she was wearing only to have Jamie sneak up behind her and stab her to death. This scene was later changed to Darlene Caruthers but this scene was remembered for Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers (1989) and was used for Rachel’s death scene.

The Unholy Recap

Jamie

Gerry Fenn is a formally famous journalist reduced to reporting on fake supernatural new stories. But one story starts to seem a bit… to real. A young deaf girl has been cured by visions of “Mary” and quickly gains followers through other miraculous healings. The church is all in, but Fenn is suspicious. Can he stop “Mary” before it’s too late? Find out in… The Unholy.

How?! Gerry Fenn was a crazy famous reporter. So crazy famous that he got caught up in writing fake stories to chase that fame. Flash forward a few years and he’s a down-and-out drunk working for a hoax news site on commission. When his latest story falls through he’s pretty angry, but coincidentally finds a strange kern doll in the field he’s in. It’s real creepy so naturally he smashes it so that he can make up a supernatural story to sell. Later that night he finds a girl out in the field where the doll had been. She’s Alice, the niece of the local priest and is deaf and mute… or at least was. Suddenly with visions of the Virgin Mary she can speak! She starts preaching the word of Mary and Fenn is right in the middle of the action. He’s the only one she trusts cause he truly believes. He saw the miracles with his own eyes. Meanwhile Alice’s uncle is suspicious and after doing some research is attacked and killed by a demonic presence. His death is ruled a suicide, but Fenn knows otherwise. Suddenly the one that Alice trusts most is having his own doubts. When Alice suggests a giant, widely televised sermon to preach the word of Mary, Fenn knows time is running out. He sneaks into the church and discovers the truth. Mary isn’t the Virgin Mary at all. She’s just some rando Mary who happened to be in leagues with the Devil. El Diablo! He rushes to the sermon just in time to convince everyone to have doubts about Mary. You see he made it all up cause he’s a liar and he’s done it before. Everyone is like yeah that makes sense. Suddenly Mary explodes onto the scene and is ready to roast Fenn but Alice sacrifices herself for him, killing Mary in the process. Fenn begs God to save Alice and indeed he does. It’s a miracle. God exists. THE END.

Why?! Well Mary is evil. Fen is a big ol’ liar trying to make it back to the top of the journalism game. This story is a bit opportunistic for him, but ultimately he sees the error of his ways. I think that’s really about it. Horror films are usually pretty straightforward this way.

Who?! Always fun to discuss a horror film’s monster in this section, particularly when we can anticipate the UCU (Unholy Cinematic Universe) rolling out over the next few decades. Mary Elnor is our devil witch and she is nicely spooky with real creepy claws and a mask nailed to her face. She was portrayed by Marina Mazepa, who was apparently a contortionist on America’s Got Talent. Makes sense cause you gotta contort if you are in leagues with the devil. It’s the rule.

What?! Jeffery Dean Morgan’s Sony camera that he totes around and records everything with actually gets some play in reviews from this film. I think people are just shocked to see a reporter using a camera to film their interviews and are like “no way.” But I feel like that’s pretty realistic. What is he gonna have? A camera man following his around? He’s freelance.

Where?! It’s made pretty clear that this is set in the boonies of Western MA. Always fun when they make up a fake place too. Here they are living it up in Banfield, Massachusetts. Nice. That is a legitimately real sounding place. And somehow also not a real town anywhere in America. Cool. I would have called the place Codchester just for laughs.

When?! They don’t make a clear statement on when everything is set, even though they show a full Wikipedia page written up for the event! The only hint we really get is that a magazine cover detailing one of the miracle healings appears to be the Spring 2019 issue. And since everyone is all bundled up in MA you can imagine it is pretty early Spring. Maybe March. C.

Sigh. No one will remember this film. I wonder if it even would have been a major release without a studio needing something to fill an early slot as theaters opened back up. It’s really a cheap looking film that holds very few scares. Not entirely their fault, as I understand it, since they were struggling with some intense covid limitations for the entirety of filming. The concept is OK… the idea of a demonic presence taking on the guise of the Virgin Mary and luring unsuspecting souls into devil worship. But it can’t really pull it off. One fun thing is that Cary Elwes shows up as a Boston priest who has the deepest Boston accent possible… and by Boston accent I mean whatever it is that is coming out of Elwes’ mouth. It’s some funny shit. Patrick?

Patrick

Hallo iedereen! I’m in Amsterdam on my way to America (so no more ‘ellos unfortunately, as I’ll be slipping back into my (now fake) American accent). We’ve got (uh)holy visions all up in here. Let’s go!

P’s View on the Preview – There was some debate about which horror film to do from this year. It was basically between this and Separation. On the one hand Separation has a 7% on Rotten Tomatoes (my god!). On the other, The Unholy was a far bigger film with actual actors in it. Tough to choose, but we went with The Unholy. I was stunned to realize it was based on a book. More on that later. What were my expectations? Rote religious “horror” with maybe jump scares? That is what the reviews all say. That if you’ve seen a few religious horror films you will have already watched this film.

The Good – From a storyline perspective it is really interesting. I’m actually not that bothered by the lack of scares (even the jump scares are lame), and the rote storytelling. I actually found it all pretty interesting as a simple dramatic story. There really isn’t that much more to say. The story is really thin. I guess maybe the set design was also impressive. The final set piece with the Mass in the tent seemed well done. For a horror film with an incredibly low body count (3) and no scares, it didn’t seem all that bad. Best Bit: The underlying story is at least somewhat interesting.

The Bad – Here’s the thing, the book was written in 1983. A time where, presumably, there was a lot more simple acceptance of religious ideals, or at least almost everyone would have grown up with some religious education. A cynical ambitious journalist accidentally stumbling onto genuine miracles and demons in 2021 though? I feel like they could have hit the point home a bit more that Gerry Fenn never believed it to be true, and just how stunned and scared he is to realize that not only was he not merely propagating a hoax, but instead genuinely party to a demonic presence. I think Gerry is far too quick to be like “sweet I saw a miracle, this is going to be awesome for my career!” That is my biggest critique from a story perspective. The other glaring thing is that Cary Elwes’s Boston accent is absurd. At times a bad Boston accent, at times straight up Irish, and at times New York. Horrible. Fatal Flaw: I think it failed to update the core story for the nearly 40 year gap between the book’s publication and movie’s production which makes it ring false.

The BMT – Throw it on the pile of other religious horror I guess. I think this is one of the better ones, but I also have no doubt that I will never think of or watch this film again. Maybe one claim to fame could be that it is an adaptation of a book by a pretty famous horror writer from England I had never heard of. So if I end up reading a few of his books that could be a fun origin story for that. Did it meet my expectations? It actually didn’t even really have that many jump scares. I will say that to suggest having seen other religious horror is to have seen this film is a bit unfair. This seems a bit OG in that regard since it is an adaptation, and the fundamental “twist” is far more interesting than I think they give it credit for.

Roast-radamus – A very nice Setting as a Character (Where?) for Western Massachusetts (presumably, I guess it could be anywhere in Massachusetts, but I think it must be Western Mass). And I’ll lob out a Worst Twist (How?) for just how they muddle things with “Mary” and the Virgin Mary and all that. Is it a twist? Debatable, but I’ll toss it out there. I think this is closest to Good maybe.

Sequel, Prequel, Remake – The Prequel is always the way to go with bad horror films. Made a bad Ouija movie? Well, let’s go back to the 70s and it’ll be weirdly good. Made a bad Annabelle film? Well, what about if we did the origin story we should have done in the first place? Works every time, by which I mean it worked the two times I remember. The origin story here is about Mary obviously. You twist it on its head a bit right? She’s a devout Christian in Puritan Massachusetts, but then is assaulted by the townspeople of Banfield and left for dead. Rescued by a witch she is consumed with the desire for revenge, and uses her knowledge of the divine to corrupt them, kill them, and ultimately condemn their souls to torture within her Dark Realm. Her revenge complete, an innocent attempts to bring her back to the light, for God is capable of all forgiveness, but Mary refuses, vowing to consume the blighted Earth and destroy God himself with her resulting power. Venturing into Mary’s Dark Realm, our hero saves the town priest who is able to kill Mary and trap her soul in a Kern Baby. See, you got a little anti-hero for Mary, but then ultimately she becomes too far gone. The Unholy: Original Sin would be the name there. The third film takes place after the first and would be about Alice learning that Father Hagan’s soul is trapped in the Dark Realm and she too has to venture forth to battle Mary once more to save him in The Unholy: Dark Realm.

You Just Got Schooled – We’re back babyyyyyyyy! I could have read the book the film was based on (Shrine), but instead I read James Herbert’s first (and very short) novel The Rats. Immediately very fun in that you get a lot of descriptions of run down 1970s East London. The story is also pretty fun just because it is pretty similar to Night Shift by Stephen King in some ways, which was written in 1970 it seems. Herbert also made a book called The Fog which is also just about poisonous fog creeping into a town. The point I’m making is that these original books seem to be very archetypal, stories which are more campfire tales projected onto a particular setting / characters. And there is something fun about seeing a period of horror literature that was still publishing shorts and installments into magazines like Cavelier and Penthouse. The book itself is a bit odd. Very disjointed because it doesn’t tend to really follow the main character much for a good chunk of the book. Instead, it is more just showing bits of East London and rats attacking. It is also a bit odd because it is speaking on the degraded nature of East London from a time long enough ago that it is hardly recognizable. East London is still “grimy” maybe, but it is also pretty hipster and multicultural now. Anyways, fun short book anyways, if a bit rote. B.

Cheerios,

The Sklogs