The Bad Movie Twins are ever striving to have the most complex and structured bad movie night in the world! We will not rest until we destroy all ambiguity and suck all of the fun out of watching bad movies. Our structure is now a multi-scale nightmare of complications:
- How we get from movie to movie: The Categories and Chain Reaction
- Order across all of the categories: The Cycle
- Order across multiple cycles: The Stallonian Calendar
In addition we have two main rules we always attempt to abide by.
- Any BMT film should, if possible, have a rottentomatoes.com score below 40%.
- Every film should be a “wide release”. Usually this means 1000+ theaters, a good amount of IMDb.com votes, etc. With the VOD age upon us this criterion is ever changing. However we decide to define it the movie should be “big”.
From the beginning of BMT we knew we wanted to spread our wings and fly. To watch a broad range of different terrible movies, not just comedies or action films, but also spooky horror films and tender romances. So The Cycle is comprised of eight categories as follows (in this exact order if possible):
Comedy – Got to get our laugh on. Or, usually with BMT, be bored by distinctly unfunny anti-comedies.
Action – Are you ready for some action packed ‘splosions? You better be because bad action films are usually light on plot and character development.
Horror/Thriller – The Bad Movie Twins have hated horror films all of our lives because we find them so spooky scary. This category demystifies the horror/thriller genre by showing that most of the time they are unintentionally funny garbage movies.
Romance – aka Girls Night Out. You ever want to grab yo girl and say “Hey boo, BMT has got you covered. Come watch this sweet Nick Sparks film with me”? I do not recommend it. But hey, there has to be a place to put dramas about people getting cancer sometimes.
Chain Reaction – See below. An interwoven mini-game that is almost exclusively used to make designing Cycles a near impossibility.
Sci-Fi – There aren’t many of them relative to the other categories. Luckily, most Sci-Fi films appear to be adaptations of trash pharmacy novels so around 95% of them qualify for BMT.
Game Time (formerly the Razzie category) – A minor modification for the 2017 BMT season is changing the Razzie category to Game Time in which we continue our quest to complete BMT challenges (watch all Razzie nominated films, the calendar, etc.). The Razzie category was simply too restrictive for cycles like Movies of 2016 where we might not know the Razzie nominations yet (e.g. Nine Lives is in the Razzie category but ultimately received no nominations). Now we can be accurate terrible people instead of just terrible people.
The Transition – The category that transitions from one cycle to the next. The newest category it was introduced along with the Stallonian Calendar (see below) to tie cycles together in an increasingly confusing manner.
Wow, that sounds like no fun. This is already incredibly complicated. I bet you hope we are more than 25% through this explanation … nope! Let’s keep going!
Prior to BMT we used to play a movie watching game via email in which one of us would watch a movie and then, using the filmography of the actors within the movie, choose a movie for the other twin to watch. After watching The Animal and Pearl Harbor for the second time (each) we decided this was a horrid idea. And yet a mere one year into BMT we decided, hey, wouldn’t it be fun if we tried to build a chain through actors filmographies from cycle to cycle? And thus the Chain Reaction Category was born. Four years later …
|(Start) Abduction||→||Alfred Molina|
|Texas Rangers||→||Ashton Kutcher|
|The Guardian||→||Kevin Costner|
|3000 Miles to Graceland||→||Kurt Russell|
|Mad Dog Time||→||Gabriel Byrne|
|Ghost Ship||→||Isaiah Washington|
|Hollywood Homicide||→||Harrison Ford|
|Red Riding Hood||→||Gary Oldman|
|Failure to Launch||→||Sarah Jessica Parker|
|Escape from Planet Earth||→||Brendan Fraser|
|Furry Vengeance||→||Ken Jeong|
|I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry||→||Dan Aykroyd|
|Caddyshack II||→||Chevy Chase|
|Theodore Rex||→||Carol Kane|
|The Pacifier||→||Megan York|
|Cheaper by the Dozen||→||Hilary Duff|
|What Goes Up||→||Steve Coogan|
|Around the World in 80 Days||→||Arnold Schwarzenegger|
|Conan the Destroyer||→||Mako|
|Bulletproof Monk||→||Jamie King|
|Cheaper By the Dozen 2||→||Bonnie Hunt|
|Random Hearts||→||Charles S. Dutton|
|No Mercy||→||Bruce McGill|
|Ride Along 2||→||Ice Cube|
|Are We Done Yet?||→||John C. McGinley|
|Wagons East!||→||John Candy|
|Hot to Trot||→||Dabney Coleman|
|The Beverly Hillbillies||→|
Pretty depressing huh? From cycle to cycle to cycle to cycle we go on and on. And then we thought, hey, let’s make this even more complicated.
You have seen the cycle in its native form in the category section, a loose conglomeration of genres in close temporal proximity. And then we thought, hey, let’s tame this stallion and saddle it with a theme (pun intended to finish the horse taming analogy!). The Cycle now ties the movies from each of the eight categories together in a meaningful way. So structured!
The Cycles started in August 21, 2014 as an attempt to complete our mapl.de.map. Prior to 2016 we completed seven cycles (although we were not very strict about covering all genres and skipped weeks like jerks):
Movies Set in Mapl.de.map States – Welcome to Mooseport (Maine), American Outlaws (Missouri), The Haunting in Connecticut (Connecticut), The Prince & Me (Wisconsin), Stone Cold (Mississippi), Say it Isn’t So (LudaChris Kleinsville).
Films Made in 2014 – Blended, Transformers Age of Extinction, The Singles Mom Club, Devil’s Due, Transcendence, Legend of Hercules 3D, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, A Haunted House 2, Need for Speed.
Female Leads – Tammy (Melissa McCarthy), The Sweetest Thing (Cameron Diaz), Aeon Flux (Charlize Theron), The Roommate (Minka Kelly), Because I Said So (Mandy Moore), Theodore Rex (Whoopi Goldberg), Barb Wire (Pamela Anderson), Glitter (Mariah Carey), Georgia Rule (Lindsay Lohan).
Movies Set in Mapl.de.map States II – Georgia Rule (Idaho), The Pacifier (Maryland), Hard Rain (Indiana), Silent Hill II (West Virginia), Evening (Rhode Island), The Host (New Mexico), A Change of Seasons (Vermont), Devil’s Knot (Arkansas).
Movies Based on a Book – Devil’s Knot, Mortdecai, Never Die Alone, Bless the Child, Fifty Shades of Grey, Cheaper by the Dozen, Seventh Son (based on The Spook’s Apprentice), Scarlet Letter, Wild Bill (based on Deadwood and Fathers and Sons).
Movies Set in Mapl.de.map States III –Wild Bill (South Dakota), Paul Blart Mall Cop 2 (Nevada), Into the Storm (Oklahoma), Survival of the Dead (Delaware), A Thousand Acres (Iowa), What Goes Up (New Hampshire), Critter 2 The Main Course (Kansas), September Dawn (Utah), Be Cool (Apl.de.ap).
Films Made in 2015 – Jupiter Ascending, Hot Pursuit, The Last Witch Hunter, Pixels, The Gallows, Unfinished Business, The Gunman, Fantastic Four, Ridiculous 6.
Starting in 2016 with the Stallonian Calendar (see below) the Cycle became more standardized (hooray!). So now there should be exactly one movie per category for the given theme. Like so:
Athletes in Films (aka Aaaiiiirrrrbbbbbaaallllll!) – Lock Up (Transition, Frank McRae), Juwanna Mann (Comedy, Rasheed Wallace), Firestorm (Action, Howie Long), The Chamber (Horror/Thriller, Bo Jackson), What to Expect When You’re Expecting (Romance, Dwyane Wade), Conan the Destroyer (Chain Reaction, Wilt Chamberlain), Steel (Sci-Fi, Shaquille O’Neal), White Chicks (Razzies, Terry Crews), Can’t Stop the Music (Transition, Caitlyn Jenner).
One and Done Directors – Can’t Stop the Music (Transition, Nancy Walker), The Tuxedo (Comedy, Kevin Donovan), On Deadly Ground (Action, Steven Seagal), Maximum Overdrive (Horror/Thriller, Stephen King), Down to You (Romance, Kris Isacsson), Bulletproof Monk (Chain Reaction, Paul Hunter), Eragon (Sci-Fi / Fantasy, Stefen Fangmeier), Harlem Nights (Razzies, Eddie Murphy), Cat in the Hat (Transition, Bo Welch).
BMT Calendar Challenge – Cat in the Hat (Transition, November 21), Taxi (Comedy, October 6), The Avengers (Action, August 14), The Fog (Horror, October 14), Material Girls (Romance, August 18), Cheaper by the Dozen (Chain Reaction, December 21), The Day the Earth Stood Still (Sci Fi, December 12), Basic Instinct 2 (Razzies, March 31), Fair Game (Transition, November 3).
Movies Based on a Book #2 – Fair Game (Transition, based on A Running Duck by Paula Gosling), Pinocchio (2002) (Comedy, based on Pinocchio by Carlo Collodi), Get Carter (2000) (Action, based on Jack’s Return Home by Ted Lewis), Phantoms (Horror, based on Phantoms by Dean Koontz), The Choice (Romance, based on The Choice by Nicholas Sparks), Random Hearts (Chain Reaction, based on Random Hearts by Warren Adler), The 5th Wave (Sci-Fi / Fantasy, based on The 5th Wave by Rick Yancy), Bonfire of the Vanities (Razzies, based on Bonfire of the Vanities by Tom Wolfe), Deadly Friend (Transition, based on the book Friend by Diana Henstell).
Movies from 1986 – Deadly Friend (Transition, released October 10, 1986), The Golden Child (Comedy, December 12, 1986), Raw Deal (Action, June 6, 1986), King Kong Lives (Horror/Triller, December 19, 1986), Shanghai Surprise (Romance, August 29, 1986), No Mercy (Chain Reaction, December 19, 1986), Solarbabies (Sci Fi / Fantasy, November 26, 1986), Under the Cherry Moon (Razzies, July 2, 1986), Blue City (Bi-cycle Transition, May 2, 1986, Blue in the title).
Movies from 2016 – Fifty Shades of Black (Bi-cycle Transition, January 29, 2016, Black in the title), Dirty Grandpa (Comedy, January 22, 2016), London Has Fallen (Action, March 4, 2016), The Forest (Horror, January 8, 2016), Mother’s Day (Romance, April 29, 2016), Ride Along 2 (Chain Reaction, January 15, 2016), Gods of Egypt (Fantasy, February 26, 2016), Nine Lives (Razzies, August 5, 2016), Independence Day: Resurgence (Transition, June 24, 2016).
Sequels (aka Squeakuels) – Independence Day: Resurgence (Transition, sequel to Independence Day), Big Momma Like Father Like Son (Comedy, sequel to Big Momma’s House, BONUS Big Momma’s House 2), RoboCop 3 (Action, sequel to RoboCop, BONUS RoboCop 2), Friday the 13th Part III (Horror, sequel to Friday the 13th, BONUS Friday the 13th Part 2), Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous (Romance, sequel to Miss Congeniality), Are We Done Yet? (Chain Reaction, sequel to Are We There Yet? watched as a BONUS), Species II (Sci-Fi, sequel to Species watched as a BONUS), Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2 (Calendar game, sequel to Baby Geniuses watched as a BONUS), Another 48 Hrs. (Transition, sequel to 48 Hrs.)
Punctuation in Title – Another 48 Hrs. (Transition, period in title), Car 54, Where are You? (Comedy, question mark in title), Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters (Action, ampersand in title), Friday the 13th: A New Beginning (Horror, colon in title, Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter watched as BONUS), Rumor Has It … (Romance, ellipses in title), Wagons East! (Chain Reaction, exclamation mark in title), Dragon Wars: D-War (Sci-Fi, hyphen in title), That’s My Boy (Razzie Game, apostrophe in title), 10,000 BC (Transition, comma in title)
<10% on Rotten Tomatoes (aka streetcreditreport.com) – 10,000 BC (Transition, 8% on Rotten Tomatoes), Epic Movie (Comedy, 2% on Rotten Tomatoes), Redline (Action, 0% on Rotten Tomatoes), Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (Horror, 8% on Rotten Tomatoes, Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood watched as BONUS), License to Wed (Romance, 7% on Rotten Tomatoes), Hot to Trot (Chain Reaction, 0% on Rotten Tomatoes), Godsend (Sci-Fi, 4% on Rotten Tomatoes), The Whole Ten Yards (Games, 4% on Rotten Tomatoes, Smellement), One Missed Call (Transition, 0% on Rotten Tomatoes)
BMT Calendar Challenge II – One Missed Call (Transition, January 4), It’s Pat (Comedy, August 26), Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (Action, July 24; Superman III watched as BONUS as June 17), I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (Horror, November 13; I Know What You Did Last Summer watches as BONUS), Made of Honor (Romance, May 2), The Beverly Hillbillies (Chain Reaction, October 15), Jason X (Sci-Fi, April 26; Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday watched as BONUS), Cradle 2 the Grave (Games, February 28), Christmas with the Kranks (Transition, represents December 24th on the Calendar; Kirk Cameron’s Saving Christmas watched as a BONUS)
Bring a Friend – Christmas with the Kranks (Transition, brings along a Christian Film as a friend; Kirk Cameron’s Saving Christmas watched as a BONUS), Project X (Comedy, brings along a Missed Opportunity as a friend; xXx: Return of Xander Cage), Lara Croft: Tomb Raider (Action, brings along a TV Movie as a friend; Dirty Dancing (2017)), Friday the 13th (2009) (Horror, brings along a Bargain Bin as a friend; Black Friday), …
And thus the cycle was complete. But something wasn’t right. Something was missing. We needed something more. And then it dawned on us … more rules. We needed …
The Stallonian Calendar
Starting in 2016 were were proud to introduce a new schedule for the year (and presumably the rest of existence). It’s called the Stallonian Calendar and it goes a little like this:
- There are generally 52 Thursdays in a given year. A BMT cycle consists of 8 weeks. This means that in a given year there are 6 cycles plus 4 open weeks. The Stallonian Calendar takes advantage of this yearly structure.
- Instead of just having cycle after cycle and having the cycles overlap from one year to another we will instead have six cycles every year. These cycles will be separated or interrupted for 4 BMT Live! editions where we watch a BMT film in theaters. In this way each year starts fresh with a new interesting cycle.
- Every 6 years or so there will be a year with 53 Thursdays. When we introduced this structure for the first time (the end of 2015) this was actually one of those years. In such a year there will be an extra week at the end of the year where we will watch a Sylvester Stallone film in celebration. This day shall be called Stallone Day (e.g. December 31, 2015 was the 53rd Thursday of the year).
So there it is. Pretty simple. Just adding some (we mean more) structure where there previously wasn’t (as much). It makes us happy and continues the tradition of the badmovietwins.com having the most structured bad movie night in the world. Someday we hope to have so many rules we will need instant replay to determine what is and is not a BMT film.
Since BMT will last literally forever we will begin to keep track of each Stallonian Calendar starting in 2016.
Full cycles – Athletes in Films, One and Done Directors, Calendar Challenge, Based on a Book, Movies from 1986, Movies from 2016
Bi-cycle connections – Black & Blue (connected the 1986 and 2016 cycles, movies with the word Black or Blue in the title)
BMT Live! – Zoolander 2 (Winter Season), Warcraft (Spring Season), Mechanic: Resurrection (Summer Season), Keeping Up With the Joneses (Autumn Season)
Full cycles – Sequels, Punctuation in Title, <10% on Rotten Tomatoes, Calendar Challenge II, Bring a Friend, …
BMT Live! – Fifty Shades Darker (Winter Season), The Mummy (2017) (Spring Season), …
Oh thank God, we’re done … until we add more structure. Come back and find out about us planning decades long cycles with double chain reactions and shit. It will happen.