Cocoon: The Return Quiz

Oh man, so get this. I found some aliums in a pool house and then while feeling all young and spry I did a double back flip off the diving board and really Louganis’d it. Now I have a massive concussion (but I still won the gold! I think. I don’t remember). Do you remember what happened in Cocoon: The Return?

Pop Quiz Hot Shot!

1) Oh snap the aliums are back Jack. Well, what is The Gutes doing (besides presumably evading the authorities for his 30 counts of negligent homicide)?

2) And why are the aliums back?

3) But uh oh, the aliums have a new problem! What is it?

4) So six of them come back. How many go back with the aliums? And why do some of them go and some of them stay?

5) Well then, what is their grand plan for saving their allium friend?

Bonus Question: 


The Good Son Quiz

Oh man, so get this, I was hanging (literally, from a treehouse) with my cousin, when he was all like “You think you can fly?” and dropped me right on my noggin! Now I can’t remember a thing. Do you remember what happened in The Good Son?

Pop Quiz Hot Shot!

1) We’ll just skip Mark’s mother dying and go straight to the reason why he is getting left with his uncle in Maine. Why?

2) Henry has created two odd inventions (of a sort) during the course of the film. What are they?

3) We actually only actually see Henry kill one thing during the course of the film. What? And what do they do with it?

4) What trophy did Henry keep from when he (obviously) killed his brother?

5) In the end they head out to Chekov’s Cliff which was mentioned earlier in the film. What significance does it hold in Henry’s family?

Bonus Question: Years and years later Mark is a happily married family man, but then one day he gets a call. From whom?


Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer Recap


The Rise of the Silver Surfer is a true BMT conundrum. On the one hand it was a sequel to a bad superhero film that seemed to buy into the “more is more” principle of franchises. On the other hand it involves the Silver Surfer, suggesting that they were also buying into the “go big or go home” principle of BMT/Franchise Man. Will it be bad or will it be BMT? That’s the question. The Silver Surfer seems like a tricky choice for a second film. Is he cool or is he lame? Is bringing a space monster into the mix a bit much? He’s an alien on a surfboard… that can’t be right… right? But as I learned many years later watching The Avengers in theaters, as CGI aliums poured out of a hole in the sky, as everyone around me seems totally cool with that turn of events in their big action film… I realized at that moment that, wait a second… lame stuff is… good now? Lame stuff is now good, I guess. And I’ve been enjoying lame stuff ever since. So I guess it’s kind of neither bad nor BMT… it just might be lame (which is good).

To recap, the Fantastic Four are back, Jack! And boy are they having trouble putting on a wedding. Egad! Sue Storm is increasingly frustrated by Reed because he’s always got his head in the clouds trying to save the world. Unfortunately as their wedding approaches (and just after he busts a groove at his mean bachelor party) he is asked to investigate mysterious, surfing related events across the globe. He says, “No!” he’s got a wedding to plan… but secretly he does anyway. So when the wedding day arrives he is all set up to track the mysterious surfer… just in time for the surfer to crash the wedding and destroy Reed’s creation. Sue. Is. Pissed. But they got bigger fish to fry cause the surfer, the Silver Surfer that is, is taking a chunk out of Earth. They gear up to track him, but they aren’t the only ones. Is that Dr. Doom’s music? Yes, he’s alive, and yes, the Silver Surfer helpfully turns him back into a human. They reluctantly team up to develop a way to trap the Surfer by separating him from his surfboard (oddly, that’s also my only weakness). They succeed, yay! But they also learn that he is in service to a world eater called Galactus who is just about to eat Earth (boo). Then, like a total dick, Dr. Doom double crosses them and steals the board (not the time, bro). They pursue him with the help of (the actually good) Silver Surfer who regains his board and with the help of Johnny flies his board into Galactus and that… uh… kills him I guess. Everyone is happy, Earth is saved, Sue and Reed get married, and the Silver Surfer is dead (or is he? (he’s not (but doesn’t matter cause the franchise is))). THE END.

This is definitely better than the first film even though the Fantastic Four is lamer and sillier than ever before. That’s because the Silver Surfer is way cooler than he has any right to be. He sounds like a child made him up, but there is something perfect in the undistilled unironicism of the character. He is silver, he rides a surfboard, he’s an alien, and he helps a cosmic entity eat planets. That’s some dumb shit, but you kinda need that dumb stuff to make this (very dumb) movie work a little bit. At least better than the first one. This is all despite having one of the worst scenes in cinematic history in Reed’s bachelor party. Horrible. Worse than the X-Games scene in the first one. Anyway, on the verge of being not that bad. As for the 1994 “unreleased” Fantastic Four film… uh… wtf, mate? They claim online that they never meant to release the film and I quibble with that. Clearly they were going to release the film… that was the threat. If their terms weren’t met they were going to release the film. 100%. It is wall-to-wall insanity and I kind of wish for history’s sake that it actually did get released. If I had to make a comparison I’d say straight-to-video Lawnmower Man 2… that’s the vibe.

Hot Take Clam Bake! And I mean hot. My take is two fold. Sue Storm and Reed Richards are in it for the long haul because they have super powers that allow them to (putting it politely) make super love. The Thing and the Human Torch? Not so much. We are clearly heading for disaster. Two members of the crew are getting super freaky under the super sheets while the other two are monsters that might just kill their significant (or even insignificant) others. What is the conclusion here? US Government, get these maniacs under control! That’s right, I’m right back at it. It’s me: guy who wants the government to take the Fantastic Four into custody. This is a ticking time bomb my friends. I don’t care how tender Ben Grimm and Alicia Masters’ pure, blind love is… he will be in a blind rage after he crushes her to death by accident. Hot Take Temperature: Ghost Pepper.



‘Ello everyone! Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer? More like Bland-tastic Bore Too: Lies of the Silver Grifter! Amirite? Well … it’s better than nothing. Let’s go!

  • Right off the bat I’ll say that I found this film to be a lot better than the first one. Or at least better. “A lot” might be pushing it. But still, it felt better.
  • The Human Torch seemed a bit toned down which was nice.
  • The power-swapping was good in principle, although in practice The Human Thing didn’t work well at all (although a solid gag).
  • The film does have probably the worst scene in the film with Mr. Fantastic’s bachelor party dance sequence. Inexplicable. Hollywood Badass Bar to the extreme. Bad effects. It had it all! I wonder how much higher the Rotten Tomatoes score would have been by just removing that scene and nothing else. I’d call it the Fantastic Cut, and people would be scratching their heads trying to figure out the 30 seconds of footage that were removed.
  • Who am I kidding, obviously people would immediately be like “WHERE’S THE DANCE SCENE!?” and freak out about it.
  • Biggest complaint about the film was bringing back Dr. Doom. Actually strike that. The biggest complaint is bringing back Dr. Doom and then magically making him look the same as he did before using Silver Surfer powers. That was ultra dumb.
  • The Silver Surfer was solid though. One of the rare he’s-bad-oh-wait-he’s-actually-good bad guys in a comic film. Although if you know anything about anything in comics it is obvious Silver Surfer is a tragic figure and not really a villain.
  • For Bring a Friend we then tripled up (what what!) on our fantastic weekend and watched Fantastic Four (1994). This is an insane story. So some guy owned the rights to The Fantastic Four for years and in 1995 the rights were going to expire if he didn’t make a movie. Oddly, the requirement to make a movie didn’t actually require him to release a movie … small oversight. So this guy enlists Roger Corman to put together a Canadian production with Canadian soap opera actors and this film was born. It was then shown in a few private screenings and thrown in a vault. The fact that a copy exists on the internet at all is astounding. Almost mind-blowing. The movie itself is a marvel of bad effects, although I have to say, The Thing’s head is pretty cool for an early 90s animatronic thing. A bit boring, but definitely worth a watch just to see some of the really early Marvel stuff that was happening at the time. A. Just for the historical aspect of the film it is definitely worth a watch.
  • This film might have the best Product Placement (What?) I’ve ever seen in the fact that the crazy hovership thing the Fantastic Four fly around in is explicitly covered in Dodge Ram logos. The logos are everywhere, on the front, on the seats, just crazy stuff. Good NYC film for Setting as a Character (Where?). I think I’ll leave it there. Closest to BMT still I think, I just can’t bring myself to call this movie good despite it being entertaining, and the dance scene is too good to make the film straight bad.

Check out the big finale of the Brundlefly Jr. Saga in the two part Fantastic Four sequels in the Quiz. Cheerios,

The Sklogs

Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer Quiz

Oh man, so no I’m Mr. No Memory Man. A completely useless power. I have no memory. And now there’s a silver surfer guy? Wait … do I know this person? Shoot, I can’t remember. Do you remember what happened in Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer?

Pop Quiz Hot Shot!

1) The Fantastic Four are back Jack! And they need to get to NYC stat. Why?

2) Hmmmmmm, something is up. In particular the Silver Surfer is in town. What happens right before and after the Silver Surfer appears?

3) But there is actually a bigger problem: what happens a few days after the Silver Surfer appears?

4) How do they separate the Silver Surfer from his sweet surfboard?

5) In the end, where does Mr. Fantastic and Invisible Woman get married?

Bonus Question: The Fantastic Four are off to fight a new threat at the end of the film? Who?


Fantastic Four (2005) Quiz

Oh jeez, so get this. I was in outer space (natch) running some ‘speriments (natch, that’s what we call them in the beautiful mind science biz), when suddenly because my goober friend miscalculated some figured I get a huge blast of cosmic radiation! So he became a rad Human Torch, whereas I’ve become Mr. No Memory Man. Do you remember what happened in Fantastic Four (2005)?

Pop Quiz Hot Shot!

1) Wait … why do the not-yet-fantastic-and-actually-kind-of-annoying four go to space again?

2) Whoops, now they have super powers. You know what? I’m going to give you an easy one. Name all five superpowers?

3) After the Thing gets all sad (awwwwww) Mr. Fantastic vows to help him out. What is the plan to solve his problems?

4) What is the problem with the solution, and why does it get solved, by whom, and why does that person do it?

5) What is Dr. Doom’s dastardly plan that the Fantastic Four now need to foil?

Bonus Question: After the battle the Fantastic Four are chilling in their skyscraper when they hear a knock at the door. Who is it?


Arthur 2: On the Rocks Quiz

Oh man, so here’s the thing. I’m a drunk. Have been all my life. But obviously my brain is now swiss cheese and I’m dying of multiple organ failure. Such is life (and death HAHAHAHAHAHA). Anyways, I don’t remember anything, I effectively have dementia. Do you remember what happened in Arthur 2: On the Rocks?

Pop Quiz Hot Shot!

1) Arthur and Linda are in leeeeeeeeeeeeeeerv. But what’s the one thing Linda wants more than anything, and what’s the problem (and solution) with this?

2) The bad guy from the first film is Jack! And now he has a plan to reeeeeeally ruin Arthur Bach. What is the plan?

3) The bad guy foils Arthur’s attempts to be a good citizen twice more in the film. How does he do it?

4) What’s Arthur’s plan to get his money back, why doesn’t it work, and what ultimately does work?

5) In the end Arthur intuitively knows that Linda is pregnant. How does he know?

Bonus Question: Well Arthur’s back Jack! Well, that is, until he gets that fateful knock at his door. Who is it?


Killer Elite Quiz

Oh man. So get this. I’m killer. I’m elite. I’m an elite killer. But all of a sudden this eliter army guy popped out and smashed me in the head with a chair! The chair I tied him to! Anyways, now I have a massive concussion (natch) and can’t remember a thing (double natch). Do you remember what happened in Killer Elite?

Pop Quiz Hot Shot!

1) We are treated to a bit of a flashback scene at the beginning of the day that Jason Statham called it quits on being an elite killer. What happened to make him quit?

2) We then also get to see a little bit of his life on the outside. Where does he live and why?

3) Every time he tries to get out, they pull him back in! As the old saying goes. Who is hiring him, why, and how have they convinced him to do it?

4) The Elite Killer squad has four targets then. In a very very Mechanic-style plot they have to kill them in a way that seems accidental, and get confessions from them. How do they do it?

5) In the finale it is Statham v. Owens, the battle we’ve all been waiting for (I assume). Who is Clive Owens, and why does he want to kill Statham?

Bonus Question: Living happily ever after our hero suddenly gets a knock at the door in the mid-credits scene. Who is it?


Fresh Horses Quiz

Oh boy. One day I was wandering around rural Kentucky when all of a sudden I saw some funky fresh horses. My mind was literally blown and my head exploded (literally). Now I can’t remember a thing. Do you remember what happened in Fresh Horses?

Pop Quiz Hot Shot!

1) Oh boy, Larkin is a brainiac at the University of Cincinnati, and he’s just got quite the life set up … that is, until he goes to that one party. How do him and Ben Stiller hear about the party?

2) At the everlasting house party Larkin meets Jewel and they are just immediately head over heels. Two problems though … what are the two issues that Ben Stiller ultimately brings up to Larkin about Jewel?

3) Hmmmm, unfortunate. More unfortunate: Larkin, still wants to be with Jewel because he lerrrrrrrrrvs her. Soon after Larkin gets in a big old fight with someone at that same everlasting house party. Over what?

4) Around the same time Larkin is thrown out of his house. Why, and where does he ultimately go to live?

5) In the end Jewel and Larkin don’t end up together. What happens to them?

Bonus Question: When Larkin returns to his job he’s toiling away when he gets a knock at his door. Who is it?


The Fly II Recap


Always a pleasure to deviate from our typical BMT formula of a single bad movie (or perhaps two or three bad movies) and partake in a classic film and it’s not-so-classic follow-up/money grab. That’s what we got with The Fly II. I started to wonder whether this was the steepest drop from classic high to BMT low. And I’m not talking some jokey answer like the drop from Big Momma’s House to Big Momma’s House 2. Like for serious, there would be some pretty great nominees. Basic Instinct 2. Speed 2: Cruise Control. The Birds 2: Land’s End… but I think I’m most intrigued by The Sting II… the original won Best Picture, the sequel did not. But it’s just old enough to confuse us as to its BMT credentials. I’ll have to get Patrick on the case given he’s the head of the Computer Science Department at BMT University. Till then…

To recap, The Brundlefly’s back, Jack! But not Seth this time, it’s his son Martin. Having inherited the fly genetics from his father, Martin grows up fast. So even though he’s only five years old he’s got the body of a twenty year old. And what a body! (Characters in the film think, unironically). He’s also got the mind of a genius. So when he gets big enough he goes to work for Bartok, his Science Daddy (as I shall creepily refer to him). His task is to get his father’s machine working again. While he’s doing this he strikes up a friendship with Beth, a night shift worker with greater aspirations. While attending a work party with Beth, Martin stumbles upon a monstrous dog creature his Science Daddy accidentally created during earlier attempts at getting the machine to work. He is dismayed and breaks things off with Beth, but drawn like a fly to honey he reconciles and they totally smooch… hard (remember, he’s five, but his mind is older, so it’s OK). This gets not only his body juices flowing, but his mind juices too and he is able to perfect the machine. But his postcoital bliss only lasts so long as he realizes he’s transforming into the Brundlefly (oh no). Even worse, he has figured out how to cure himself but it requires him to make horrific genetic alterations to another person (double oh no!). As if it can’t get worse, he also finds out his Science Daddy is evil and wants to use his invention for profit (triple dog oh no!). Distraught, he locks down his computers and attempts an escape. This doesn’t last long, though, as he enters a cocoon state and despite her best efforts, Beth is forced to return him to the lab. Awakened, Martin goes on a rampage. He kills all the baddies in sight, eventually cornering his Science Daddy and pulling him into a pod where Beth initializes his curing process. Martin comes out cured and his Science Daddy is now his Science Daddy Monster. THE END… or is it? (It is).

This movie appears to be sold on one thing and one thing only: the ending visual effects. While the fly effects are a bit shaky, the very last shot of the Science Daddy Monster is horrific and so I have to give them some props on that. Truly grotesque. Congrats. I also very much enjoyed Spaceball’s Daphne Zuniga as the love interest. Charming actress. I think the film mostly suffers from comparisons to the Cronenberg original, which is unassailable both technically and aesthetically. It is impossible to live up to when you then hire the visual effects artist to direct the follow up. It’s also pretty slow for the first hour. Clearly they wanted something quick and on the cheaper side of things so they could grab dat money.

Hot Take Clam Bake! Is it wrong for me to suggest that there are numerous people they could have used to cure Martin and avoid all the general fly hubbub? Ethically it may be a bit hazy, but let’s be real… ethics isn’t Science Daddy’s strong suit. You just need that sweet, sweet DNA to fix Martin. Guess who has a bunch of DNA they aren’t using? Dead people. Science Daddy got the green. Buy a dead body… easier said than done, I’m sure, but I bet Science Daddy could figure it out. And if he can’t, guess who’s providing dead bodies left and right? The fly himself. Grab up a deado and get the process rolling. Seems wasteful to use a perfectly good Science Daddy. Hot Take Temperature: Carolina Reaper.



‘Ello everyone! The Fly II? More like Not Fly Too! Amirite? Brundlefly is back, but now he has the growing disease from Jack. Let’s go!

  • I like Eric Stoltz and Daphne Zuniga in this. Both of them work well as young employees of a how-you-say? … evil company? Funny that Mel Brooks was an EP so he got Zuniga in the film. I don’t really remember her in much else and was always surprised. Looks like she was in Vision Quest (never saw it), Gross Anatomy (future BMT … wait, was she connected to Modine in some way … was Modine connected to Mel Brooks too?), and then did 110 episodes of Melrose Place.
  • But I will never ever ever ever watch this film ever again. Why? Because what happens to the dog and the bad guy at the end is horrifying. Just horrifying. Cut that part of the film out and it is just silly with some interesting third act practical effects. With it, it is just unnecessarily gross and I hate it.
  • If I were to pinpoint the main thing that makes this a BMT film it is the moment (shown in the trailer) where Stoltz becomes like … a cocoon man. No, he doesn’t look like Steve Guttenberg. I mean, like, he’s a weird looking man covered in cobwebs and shit. The short segment where a very very ill Stoltz goes on the run and tries to get Zuniga and a former Brundlefly Inc. employee to help him is the best part from a BMT perspective.
  • Prior to that the film is kind of just a rehash of the first film with Brundlefly Jr. trying to figure out where he belongs in the world (you know?) and rebuild his father’s research. After that is it just a practical effects bonanza. The “I feel BBeTTer” line is just really everything from a BMT perspective.
  • Speaking of which I suppose. People were pretty down on the practical effects, but while gross, I felt they were pretty impressive. I can understand the “this ain’t no Cronenberg” attitude at the time, but I still think it worked much better than I expected.
  • The exception being the actual puppet at the end. The puppet was pretty rough. Kind of looked like crap and … well, it looked like a puppet. A fragile puppet. Not great. Still, I didn’t mind it much.
  • I did watch the Goldblum film a while back. Loved it. It’s a good movie with great special effects. Unfortunately I didn’t get to the original or any of the sequels. Some day. I do think they are intriguing, and I want to watch more older films.
  • I suppose a minor Worst Twist (How?) for the ultimate twist of Stoltz fixing himself by destroying his father figure / horrible person Bartok. That’s it though. It’s very much closest to BMT, but I don’t think it is as impressive as I expected.

Read about my sequel The Fly III: Half Past Fly in the Quiz. Cheerios,

The Sklogs

The Fly II Quiz

Oh boy. So first of all, I’m a quarter fly person (my dad was half fly, don’t worry about it). And now I’m growing ultra quick like Robin Williams! Needless to say I have the memory of a fly as well, so I don’t remember a thing. Do you remember what happened in The Fly II?

Pop Quiz Hot Shot!

1) Brundlefly Jr. is born to definitely-not-Geena-Davis, but ultimately is raised by who? And why?

2) In his formative years a very particular relationship with an aminal would ultimately color issues throughout his life. What kind of animal?

3) When Brundlefly Jr. grows up though he meets a young lady, Princess Vespa. How do they meet?

4) Ultimately he must escape his confines though as he slowly turns into an actual Brundlefly. What final betrayal is revealed concerning his condition from Bartok?

5) How does Brundlefly cure himself?

Bonus Question: Brundlefly Jr. is living happily ever after, but then there is a knock at the door. Who is it?