Bringing Down the House Recap

Jamie

Peter is an uptight lawyer looking for love after his divorce. When the woman he meets online turns out to be an African American ex-con looking for legal help it couldn’t have come at a worse time. He’s got the big deal to close! Oh no! Can he close the deal (and get the girl (and learn to live and love again)) before it’s too late? Find out in… Bringing Down the House.

How?! Peter is super sad and lonely. He’s still in love with his ex-wife and continually disappoints his kids with his workaholic tendencies. If this sounds like a laugh riot, then this is the film for you! No? Well, do you like stereotypes that occasionally cross into overt racism? Yes? Great! He meets a lady online named Charlene and is super jazzed only to be crushed when she turns out to be an African American ex-con who needs him to help her clear her name. He’s ready to kick her to the curb except that she threatens to reveal to his super racist neighbors that he’s somehow adjacently involved with a black lady. Egad! What is a scared white person to do?! While he tries to deal with her, Peter also has a snooty (and racist) client that he has to close a big deal with. This all meanders about for a while with Charlene getting close to Peter’s children and helping them out with their C storylines, Peter’s coworker falling madly in lust with Charlene’s luscious curves, and eventually them all finding out that Charlene isn’t an ex-con after all… she’s an escaped convict! Everything falls apart, but Peter being the white savior that he is still tries to help out Charlene. In turn she tries to help him out by kidnapping the snooty heiress and gets her totally high on the weed (good plan). Finally Peter confronts the man who framed Charlene who admits to everything on a tape recorder. Enraged, he shoots Charlene only to have her survive thanks to a cell phone made of titanium (this is real). Having gotten high the heiress employs Peter and he gets back with his ex-wife. Jesus. This movie was straight crazytown. THE END.

Why?! Peter’s motivation is to close the big deal (but really we know the deal he really wants to close is the one that gets him back with his ex-wife). Charlene really does want to clear her name. Interestingly there is very little background provided to the audience about her crime. She mostly just says “I didn’t do it,” and then talk about trying to get her off on a technicality. Turns out she really was framed so Peter’s not a very good lawyer… which should have been obvious since he was a tax lawyer with no criminal law experience.

What?! Even the product placements were kinda stereotypical. When Charlene invited a whole bunch of friends over what is the drink of choice at the party? Olde English 800 of course. I was like “oh that’s pretty bad.” Little did I know that an old white lady would be singing a super racist spiritual only an hour later. Boy howdy.

Who?! This has two of our favorite. Alongside our leading musician-turned-actress we have Kelly Price appearing in a cameo. She is a club singer that performs when Steven Martin gets his groove on and learns to be hip. Additionally we have a credit for Linus the Dog portraying William Shakespeare. He doesn’t have any other credits on IMDb, but I think there is a strong chance he was part of the cast of a short lived show Men, Women and Dogs. I’m sure I could figure it out for sure if I tried… but I won’t.

Where?! Pretty clear this was set in Los Angeles. They started the film with a gratuitous license plate shot. Not vital to the plot or featured in any particular way, though. C+

When?! I feel like this should have been obvious since Charlene escapes from jail and that’s on the news and stuff… but alas, I couldn’t find any evidence of when this took place. Would have to guess the summer since the kids weren’t in school. F.

This film actually started with a deftly made opening about a lonely man connecting with someone online during an emotionally difficult time in his life. It’s actually pretty sweet seeing Steve Martin go about trying to figure out how to set up a date while his coworker encourages him. This then almost immediately falls apart once we enter the actual plot of the film, which at times had me holding my head in disbelief. It’s like we started at the top of a roller-coaster and almost immediately started falling towards pure craziness and offensiveness. It picked up speed all the way to a ludicrous ending that you kinda have to see to believe. The only real bright spot is an interesting and not entirely offensive bit with Eugene Levy falling in love with Charlene that turned out considerably better than it could have. Patrick?

Patrick

‘Ello everyone! I tried to follow the directions in this documentary. I found a fugitive from the law, harbored her in my home, and proved she was framed all along! It was a very fulfilling experience. I am still going to prison for harboring the fugitive though … can’t really get around that. Welp, c’est la vie! Let’s go!

The Good – The first half of this film is actually quite good. The premise isn’t at ludicrous as it seems. Both Martin and Queen Latifah are in actuality quite funny. Eugene Levy’s character is a crazy caricature … but he is still great as well. It is a charming half of a film that does exactly what it wants to do in a rather … unfortunate way.

P’s View on the Preview – I mean, that is it right? There was one thing and one thing only that was interesting about this film, and that is the unfortunate and (in more recent terms) tactless way they treat Steve Martin and Queen Latifah’s relationship. It was the only interesting thing about what was either going to be a boring laugh-free comedy, or a complete trainwreck depending on how offensive it was.

The Bad – The entire second half of the film just goes off the rails. Martin is harboring a fugitive, there are several crazy scenes with the heiress being a stone cold racist and smoking weed, Betty White actually does play a stone cold racist, there is a gold digger character, there is a crazy dance scene in a club. It is just crazy. Also … the titanium cellphone might as well be its own character. It has an entire arc, with Peter getting his other cellphone destroyed, him compulsively plugging it in at home constantly, and mentioning that it is $600 and made of titanium in the middle of the conclusion to the film. I cannot wait for Bringing Down the House 2: The Revenge of the Titanium Cellphone.

Get Yo Rant On – Somewhere deep in some Hollywood R&D department some intern is working on a method to edit DVDs for movies just like this. This movie would be a decent comedy (if not very funny and pretty crazy in the end) if not for the … distasteful and old-fashioned content it relies on. And there are plenty of movies like this, the gay panic scene in The Medallion is a legend! Anyways, Betty White saying a little kid looks like a … bundle of sticks is kind of where I draw the line though. If only that intern worked harder! Then they could just carefully and diligently re-edit this terrible film into something a bit more … marketable. A little dystopian, but you know they’d do it if they could. I would call this being:

Renegaded (v.) – To edit a released film in order to hide the fact that you made an abomination that no one can love; named after the Renegade Cut of Highlander II: The Quickening.

The BMT – Not really a legendary film unfortunately. It could have been if it was even more unpalatable, but watching it it isn’t nearly as bad as I expected. I do think this is an interesting recent addition to the 30-40% Rotten Tomatoes run we are going on. It does indicate our cutoff is shockingly good for something we kind of flippantly made up six years ago. Go figure.

StreetCreditReport.com – I didn’t really expect to find this on any lists. And yet, somehow, New Years come early for me because … this list is obviously amazing. How daaaaaaaare they speak ill of White Chicks though. It’s not their fault that they look like monsters!

And that is is, no homework.

Cheerios,

The Sklogs

 

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Bringing Down the House Preview

There’s no better feeling than jetting across Bosnian airspace with the Obsidian Dongle safe in hand… that is until an incoming heatseeker blows us out of the sky. We are gravely injured, but even worse the Dongle was lost on impact. Egad! We attempt to evade capture by the insurgent forces, but no amount of delicious Coca-Cola can save us. Brought in front of the warlord responsible for the tragic end to our backpacking trip, we are astonished to find that not only is the warlord a beautiful lady, but also in possession of the Dongle! We attempt to woo her with our twin charms and sensual dance routines, but she has no need for our chiseled abs, no matter how much grease we apply. Oh how our abs gleam, our pectoral muscles perfectly sculpted. The setting sun glances off them creating an effect that no woman could possibly resist. And yet she does. For she needs money for her warlording and has no time for rock-hard muscles. She requests $10 billion dollars in exchange for the Dongle. There is only one thing to do: boot up BMT Productions and let’s get a-making movies. First up we need to call our lawyer, because this production company ain’t LLCing itself and we gotta protect ourselves in case we accidentally make a super racist movie. That’s right! We’re watching Bringing Down the House. Produced by Ashok Amritraj (producer of Street Fighter: Legend of Chun-Li), this Steve Martin-Queen Latifah vehicle is chock full of stereotypes (hilarious!). Perfect for our comedy entry in the Mind of a Madman cycle. Let’s go!

Bringing Down the House (2003) – BMeTric: 43.0

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(An extremely interesting graph. I have a guess: from its release to 2015 or so people watched this and were like “Goo! That’s racist!”. Now, you might wonder whether that has changed more recently. Possibly. But it is also possible that it is just kind of regressing back to the average for a “not very funny comedy” which is high 5s I would guess. Who knows.)

Leonard Maltin – 2 stars –  Martin is wasted in this crude collection of racial and sexual comic stereotypes as an uptight WASP tax attorney whose Internet chat-room mate turns out to be a black convict (Latifah) who wants him to clear her name. Naturally she loosens him up while straightening out his kids and helping him land a big deal at work. Strictly a routine big-screen sitcom, unless you find the prospect of Martin talking jive and bustin’ a groove in hip-hop garb to be the height of hilarity.

(Oooof, Leonard pulled no punches there. I do not find that the peak of comedy, so this film is going to be terrible. I do like the term “big-screen sitcom”. You can even imagine it as a sitcom. The white WASPy family takes in a brash black ex-con who just whips them into shape. Gross.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BhT8A83MhaI

(Oh … oh no. Eugene Levy in an over the top jungle fever (is that term racist? I can’t find any definitive answer online concerning this … just pretend I’m referring to the Spike Lee movie if it is. It feels like it is though.), Steve Martin dancing, Steve Martin dressing up (now that’s racist), more Steve Martin dancing, ebonics, Steve Martin trying to get Queen Latifah to leave his country club because his country club is full of racists who are also his friends and … well, you can kind of see why that is problematic on its face! Jeez Louise … just, … I cannot wait.)

Directors – Adam Shankman – (Known For: Hairspray; Rock of Ages; Future BMT: The Wedding Planner; Bedtime Stories; BMT: Cheaper by the Dozen 2; The Pacifier; Bringing Down the House; Notes: Judge on So You Think You Can Dance for many years and long time choreographer. Looks like he’s tapped as the director for the What Men Want, the What Women Want follow up that the world has been clamoring for.)

Writers – Jason Filardi (written by) – (Known For: 17 Again; Drum; BMT: Bringing Down the House; Notes: Has a new film Status Update that wasn’t released to theaters but is available for all those Filardi-heads out there. Still doing his thing.)

Actors – Steve Martin – (Known For: The Prince of Egypt; Little Shop of Horrors; Father of the Bride; Looney Tunes: Back in Action; It’s Complicated; Dirty Rotten Scoundrels; ¡Three Amigos!; Billy Lynn’s Long Halftime Walk; Parenthood; Planes, Trains & Automobiles; Baby Mama; Shopgirl; The Jerk; Bowfinger; Home; Roxanne; Father of the Bride Part II; The Big Year; The Muppet Movie; Leap of Faith; Future BMT: Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band; The Pink Panther; The Pink Panther 2; The Out-of-Towners; Mixed Nuts; Sgt. Bilko; Christmas with the Coopers; Novocaine; HouseSitter; Jiminy Glick in Lalawood; BMT: Cheaper by the Dozen 2; Bringing Down the House; Cheaper by the Dozen; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Actor for The Pink Panther 2 in 2010; Notes: World famous actor and musician. He technically is only a Tony Award away from an EGOT as he got an honorary Oscar, won an Emmy for the Smothers Brothers show, and won five Grammy’s for comedy and bluegrass music. He even got a Tony nomination for Bright Star in 2016 but lost.)

Queen Latifah – (Known For: Girls Trip; Hairspray; Chicago; 22 Jump Street; Miracles from Heaven; The Secret Life of Bees; Stranger Than Fiction; Juice; Set It Off; Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs; Ice Age 2: The Meltdown; Bringing Out the Dead; Jungle Fever; Hoodlum; Just Wright; Last Holiday; Brown Sugar; Barbershop 2: Back in Business; My Life; Living Out Loud; Future BMT: Scary Movie 3; Ice Age: Collision Course; Beauty Shop; The Cookout; The Perfect Holiday; House Party 2; Mad Money; What Happens in Vegas; Sphere; Joyful Noise; Ice Age: Continental Drift; The Bone Collector; BMT: Taxi; Pinocchio; The Dilemma; The Country Bears; Valentine’s Day; Bringing Down the House; Notes: Musician-turned-actress, she is pretty much just an actress now. Culminated in an Oscar nomination for her role in Chicago.)

Eugene Levy – (Known For: American Pie; Vacation; Finding Dory; American Reunion; American Pie 2; American Pie: The Wedding; Father of the Bride; Over the Hedge; Night at the Museum 2; Josie and the Pussycats; Splash; Best in Show; Goon; Heavy Metal; Taking Woodstock; Serendipity; Like Mike; A Mighty Wind; Astro Boy; Curious George; Future BMT: Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd; Holy Man; Madea’s Witness Protection; The Ladies’ Man; Down to Earth; I Love Trouble; Club Paradise; Cannonball Fever; Armed and Dangerous; Almost Heroes; Once Upon a Crime…; A Ted Named Gooby; BMT: New York Minute; Cheaper by the Dozen 2; Bringing Down the House; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Supporting Actor in 2006 for Cheaper by the Dozen 2, and The Man; Notes: Famed Canadian comedy actor huge in the comedy scene of the 1980s, particularly for SCTV for which he won two Emmys.)

Budget/Gross – $33 million / Domestic: $132,716,677 (Worldwide: $164,729,679)

(An absolute smash hit. One would wonder why it didn’t get a sequel. $100 million for a comedy is no joke.)

#11 for the Romantic Comedy genre

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(Incredible. The next highest BMT is at 14 with Sweet Home Alabama. Came out right in the thick of the rom com boom in the 2000s. This genre basically comes up every two months so we’ve had plenty of notes about it kind of getting relegated to VOD and dying, so no need to rehash that. This is currently the highest grossing qualifying rom com though. Cannot be beat.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 34% (50/149): Though the cast shines, they can’t save this comedy, which is overly contrived and filled with outdated and offensive racial jokes.

(Do it. Just say it Rotten Tomatoes. It’s racist. A bunch of white Hollywood producers got together, made a bunch of borderline jokes concerning black people, and everyone kind of shrugged their shoulders. Actually that is unfair. I bet Queen Latifah didn’t think it was racist at the time. And also I specifically remember seeing this trailing and thinking to myself “oh no … that seems racist”, so people really didn’t shrug their shoulders. Although that box office gross suggests otherwise …)

Poster – Sklogging Down the House (C-)

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(Nah, pass. While the framing is humorous, everything else is basically the opposite of what I want out of a poster. Bumped up from D- for the cleverness of the framing.)

Tagline(s) – Everything he needed to know about life, she learned in prison. (C)

(Wake me up when you finish reading this. Again, I think they landed on a tagline that conveys something about the plot in a slightly clever way… and yet it’s terrible.)

Keyword(s) – lawyer; Top Ten by BMeTric: 77.9 Basic Instinct 2 (2006); 77.0 Material Girls (2006); 73.1 Legally Blonde 2: Red, White & Blonde (2003); 72.0 Caddyshack II (1988); 69.1 Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid (2004); 68.6 Texas Chainsaw 3D (2013); 67.1 Did You Hear About the Morgans? (2009); 64.3 Fair Game (1995); 64.2 Dr. T & the Women (2000); 63.6 Body of Evidence (1993);

(Dr. T & the Women is ridiculous. It doesn’t actually qualify for BMT. It actually makes me wonder about how many such films exist … wait a minute I have this data. At least some of it. And there are about 60 films with BMeTrics above 50 but Rotten Tomatoes scores above 40%. Dr. T is the best Romance available though, so it has that going for it.)

Notes – According to the commentary, the house that Kate lives in is actually the same house from Father of the Bride (1991). (fun. fact)

Producers wanted the slang that was spoken in the movie to be current and relevant to the time period in which the movie was released. This proved to be difficult as words take on different meaning to become Ebonics almost everyday. (Whatever words they used during filming might not have been in circulation by the time the film was released.) In order to play it safe, some of the Ebonics spoken in the movie was made up by the actors on the spot. (Oh no)

In one of Steve Martin’s early comedy skits, he can’t pronounce the word “abominable”. Mrs. Arness, near the end when she is “stoned”, struggles in a similar way to say the word “abominably”

Jason Filardi’s original screenplay was entitled “Jailbabe.com”. He had Adam Sandler and Angelina Jolie in mind when he first wrote it. (Whaaaaaaaaaaaaat a terrible title)

Despite the fact that this was filmed in Super 35, “Filmed in Panavision” is listed in the end credits.

Michael Rosenbaum wore a wig as Todd Gendler due to shaving his head bald for the role of Lex Luther in Smallville (2001).

The Russian title for the film translates as “House Upside Down”. The German title of the movie translates to “House over the Head”.

Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo Recap

Uh oh, looks like the first Deuce Bigalow quiz was only half of the challenge, enter the PhD program for Deuce Bigology here!

Jamie

Deuce Bigalow is back, Jack! He travelling to Amsterdam to figure out who’s killing high-end gigolos. But don’t worry, he’ll also be dating some kooky ladies just like last time. Can he solve the mystery (and maybe get the girl) before it’s too late? Find out in… Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo.

How?! Deuce is back and ready for a vacation after the tragic death of his wife. He heads to Amsterdam to meet up with his former pimp TJ only to have him become a prime suspect in the high profile murders of gigolos across Europe. Oh no! Say it ain’t so, TJ! In order to figure out who might actually be the killer Deuce must re-enter the gigolo game. In that disguise he goes on some sweet dates with some interesting ladies that dated the murdered gigolos just before they were killed. This includes a hunchback. This includes a lady covered in dirt. This includes a lady with a tracheotomy. This includes a very tall woman. This includes a woman with… uh… a penis for a nose… that’s real… I didn’t make that up. Anyway, he comes no closer to figuring out who the killer is, but does help the ladies improve their confidence. Meanwhile he begins a relationship with the niece of the police chief only to discover that she owns the dress and lipstick used by the killer. Oh no! She must be the killer! He rushes over to the police chief, but it’s revealed that the police chief is actually the killer (what a surprise that was definitely hard to figure out!). This culminates in a showdown at the gigolo awards show where Deuce and the police chief due battle and he wins. Hooray! THE END.

Why?! Didn’t I say you shouldn’t look for motivation in Happy Madison productions. Deuce is just devastated and looking for love after the tragic loss of his wife. Yes, TJ needs rescuing. Yes, there is a gigolo murderer on the loose. But that is all ancillary plot details to the main motivation of our beloved Deucey: he wants to find love and help women feel more confident about themselves. The murderer just wants to avenge the tragic loss of his fiance and penis in a gigolo-induced penis pump accident… yup.

What?! Is it possible this was sponsored by an organization aiming to promote homophobia, racism, and sexism? Because that seemed to be the only overriding theme of the film. I do feel like Rob Schneider should have been macking on some Amstel Lights or something, but alas.

Who?! Norm MacDonald again appears unbilled in a more prominent role this time. Fred Armisen also appears in an uncredited cameo as does the actress who portrays Deuce’s deceased wife Kate from the first film. It’s just a bounty of uncredited roles up in here. I wonder why… oh, right. It’s garbage.

Where?! This is so set in Holland it is beautiful. We have scenes of Deuce trying pot brownies, we have scenes on a classic Dutch houseboat. We have scenes in the Red Light District. It is pretty much as perfect as we can get for our new mapl.de.map cycle. A.

When?! Again I’m not exactly sure on this one. It seems like the film exists outside of time because why would they care. Not even a soccer match or something to give us a hint. I’d have to look closely on a rewatch (ugh) to see if there is even a possibility. F.

This movie is terrible and offensive… like for real I’d be hard pressed to find a film where homophobia and gay panic are as central to the plot as this one. TJ literally spends THE ENTIRE FILM worrying over the fact that people may think he’s gay. He’d rather be perceived as a murderer than gay… what year was this made?! On top of that they have an Asian character that pops in no less than four times to make a joke about how small his dick is. For real? It is bad. Like real bad. Like dog poo bad. Racist, homophobic, sexist dog poo pushed into our faces. Fuck this movie. This literally might be worse than *gasp* Strange Wilderness. At least that wasn’t so homophobic and racist. That was just incredibly sexist. Patrick?

Patrick

‘Ello everyone? What if you had a decently successful comedy a few years back and now you need to go back to that well? Do you: (1) Rehash all of the jokes and hope people still find them funny a second time? (2) Update the setting and hope that a fish out of water story can distract people from your otherwise plotless meandering script? (3) Shove dog poo slowly into my face. Well if you are Deuce Bigalow you slide head first into option 4: All of the above. Let’s get into it!

The Good – Ummmmmm. Nothing? I like Jeroen Krabbé if that counts. In these two previews I changed the structure a bit to help my section feel cleaner so that’s good I think. Don’t worry, it is still the good ol’ The Good, The Bad, and The BMT.

P’s View on the Preview – Going into the film I think the most intriguing thing was the note about Ebert and how much he hated this film. Combined with the trailer (and the wine / tracheotomy joke) and it was very clear the film was going full bore into that Bucky Larson / Strange Wilderness gross out territory. It was going to be intriguing to see where it stood in the poo poo platter (pun intended) of terrible Happy Madison productions.

The Bad – And oh my did it not disappoint. This was one of the most unpleasant films I have ever seen. It is racist. It is really really homophobic (really … my god, why is it so homophobic?!). It snatches the worst gay panic film mantle out of The Medallion’s hands! It is misogynistic, with Deuce’s heart of gold replaced with a heart of dog poo in my face. It is just unfathomably bad and confusing and distressing and just gross. I really don’t get grossed out  from films super easily, and three times I cringed at how gross this film is. Dog poo in my face, just a hard fastball of shit in my face.

Sklog-cabulary Quiz – A Sequel Out of Water (n.) – A sequel which takes the main character of a film and merely moves him/her to another location to generate a plotline.

I think I’m just going to coin dumb phrases in this section. As I said in the intro this film has two classic comedy sequel tropes. This one, where the plot is literally just “Deuce Bigalow is in Amsterdam”. And just reusing old jokes as the only source of humor (the SNLization? Catch phraserization? I’ll workshop it). Truly a groundbreaking film.

The BMT – Yeah, so this basically saves Deuce Bigalow from anonymity (congrats?). Because I think this will be in the early lead for worst film of the year for me, and kind of completes the Bucky Larson / Strange Wilderness / Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo Happy Madison trilogy. It is kind of what you want in a bad comedy, just distressingly bad but in a so-immature-it’ll-make-money-and-is-a-real-movie kind of way.

StreetCreditReport.com – Given the above section where Ebert’s review was specifically noted as particularly harsh, this film was naturally his worst film of 2005. I couldn’t find many official lists for the year, so I’ll just leave you will a quote by Ebert himself: “Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo makes a living cleaning fish tanks and occasionally prostituting himself. How much he charges I’m not sure, but the price is worth it if it keeps him off the streets and out of another movie.”

No homework to report on so …

Cheerios,

The Sklogs

Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo Recap

Before the recap take the quiz and prove you are the foremost thinker in Deuce Bigalow Sciences!

Jamie

When Deuce Bigalow destroys an expensive aquarium while housesitting for an high-end, homicidal gigolo he’s in quite the pickle. Can he enter the gigolo game and earn the cash necessary to repair the aquarium (and maybe get the girl) before it’s too late? Find out in… Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo.

How?! Deuce Bigalow just got fired from his job at the aquarium and has had to put his hopes and dreams on hold. Shortly thereafter, though, he’s asked by a mysterious and dangerous gigolo to apartment sit for him while he’s away. Deuce sees it as an opportunity to live out his wildest fantasies but almost immediately knocks over a very expensive fish tank. Facing certain death at the hands of the gigolo, he enters the gigolo game hoping to earn enough cash to fix the tank. A local pimp, TJ, notices the presence of a new gigolo and takes Deuce under his wing. With the help of TJ, Deuce is able to get some dates with women with particular characteristics. There is a tall lady. There is a fat lady. There is a narcoleptic lady. There is a Tourettes lady. Basically think of the first bunch of entries of an SNL sketch. You can even hear the theme song: “He was babysitting for a gigolo and knocked over a fish tank… oh no! He’s Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo.” In the end the moral is that Deuce is actually a good guy and not sleeping with any of these women, but rather helping them with their self esteem and confidence. In the process he meets the love of his life Kate. Yay! But she breaks up with him after finding out that he’s a gigolo. On no! But then she gets back together with him and helps him fix up the apartment. Yay! But all this doesn’t matter because the gigolo still wants to kill him (?). Oh no! But then they fight and the gigolo gets arrested and Deuce and Kate get married. Yay! THE END.

Why?! Oh, sweet summer child, no. Let’s not plumb the depth of a Happy Madison picture for motivation. Deuce Bigalow merely is. He wants only to be and to love. Technically money ends up being the main motivation for him since he needs to that stave off the homicidal gigolo hell bent on killing him, but that is just because they needed something to be the (very thin) plot of this film.

What?! Interestingly both this film and its sequel are oddly bereft of any and all product placement, which is different for an Adam Sandler production. I presume this is because most companies actually paid Happy Madison not to be featured in the film. So may as well just give a shout out to the bowling date Deuce takes the narcoleptic lady on. Mark it down as a bowling movie in preparation for my new bowling movie podcast, Right Up Your Alley.

Who?! Radio personality Big Boy plays the large lady Flusia that Deuce goes on a date with. It’s actually a pretty solid performance all things considered. Norm MacDonald also has an uncredited but memorable cameo in the film.

Where?! LA, baby. Deucey dreams of living it up on the beach, but instead just cleans the aquariums and ponds of those apartments. LA certainly isn’t a required setting like it was for Bucky Larson, but it’s prominent. B.

When?! I literally have no idea. It could be figured out from the baseball game that Deuce attends with the lady with Tourettes… but I’m not that crazy… yet. F.

I think I disliked this film more than Patrick did. I could certainly see liking parts of this film as a teenager, but now it feels very Bucky Larson-y to me. A ridiculous idiot meant to evoke sympathy by being mostly harmless and naive. The story is just sooo thin and contrived. It is probably the clearest example of what people might mean when they say a film is an SNL sketch stretched to feature length. That is exactly what this is. Patrick?

Patrick

‘Ello Everyone! There was the briefest of moments in the late-90s / early 2000’s in which Happy Madison productions held a stable of comedic talent ready to deploy the instant the ink was dry on their latest killer script. But with A-list talent there will inevitably be a B-list as well, and thus Rob Schneider sauntered into our lives. Let’s get into it!

The Good – … well Jamie might disagree, but this film comes across as mostly harmless. While offensive (especially the tall lady just getting insults slung at her in the street), the primary story of Deuce getting women to believe their beautiful (no maaaatter what they saaaaay (that’s me singing)) is actually somewhat charming. Even if it takes a while to get there and creates a garbage character of Deuce Bigalow in the process.

P’s View on the Preview – Here I will try and describe my mindset going into the film and what I was interested in getting out of it or seeing, to give a kind of connection between the good and the bad. We’ve seen a lot of Happy Madison productions in BMT, but this is the first one ever made and predates their truly dire offerings (Bucky Larson: Born to be a Star and Strange Wilderness) by about a decade. I was very interested to see whether the tone was much different than many of the others or whether this would predict Bucky Larson with a B-list Happy Madison player creating a Z-list Adam Sandler film. On the good side of things I do think the tone changes, Deuce’s story is almost genuinely heart warming. But …

The Bad – Honestly a film like this ages like a warm gallon of milk. Deuce Bigalow is a terrible person who objectifies and ogles women. The character also barely makes sense: Is sex all he thinks about, or is he a fish-lover with a heart of gold? Is he basically a virgin, or some amazing sex God? It is very hot and cold. The B-story involving a crazy cop looking to take gigolo’s down which culminates in a very strange court scene which is then just kind of thrown away.

Sklognalysis – I kind of was thinking on Strange Wilderness and Bucky Larson and came to two conclusions. First, even though I like Steve Zahn more than Rob Schneider, I appreciate Deuce Bigalow more than the actors in Strange Wilderness mainly because all of the characters in that film were just really dumb and annoying. Here at least Deuce has that heart of gold which makes you think “wait a second, am I learning to love over here or what?!” Whereas Bucky Larson has kind of that same character, but everything in the movie is now taken to an extreme that ten years of arrested development has afforded the Happy Madison productions. If Deuce Bigalow was made now it would be direct-to-netflix and Rob Schneider would have been having sex with random women throughout the film. I think I liked Deuce Bigalow more than either of those other films because Deuce seemed to come from a more innocent cinematic time.

The BMT – Well … I guess you’ll see the legacy in the European Gigolo recap. Once we complete the Happy Madison productions filmography there will also obviously be a hearty debate about the general merits of those films as well.

StreetCreditReport.com – I have to admit, and this isn’t actually that surprising, there is no street cred. I can literally find no mention of this film on bad movie lists, even from people who mentioned like 20 bad films from 1999. But that isn’t a big deal, this is a bonus film after all. The sequel is all the cred this guy needs.

Cheerios,

The Sklogs

Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo Preview

We are Sklogpacking right across Europe and there is literally no other choice for the comedy entry in the cycle than the film for this week. Based on historical evidence this will either be an underrated comedy that he hold close to our hearts… or it will literally be the worst thing we’ve ever seen. That’s right! We’re watching Deuce Bigelow European Gigolo. Obviously watching this critically reviled sequel will involve a bonus viewing of the first film (generally thought to be bad, but at least better than the second film). The sequel took Rob Schneider to beautiful Amsterdam to attempt to figure out who was out killing Male Gigolos across Europe. If it can at least not be a lazy sack of shit then it should come out on top of Strange Wilderness… I’m not holding out hope. Also a reminder that we now have the European mapl.de.map up on the website if you want to check it out. Let’s go!

Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo (2005) – BMeTric: 74.3

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DeuceBigalowEuropeanGigolo_RV

(A goddamned catastrophe, sub-5.0 with 40K votes is incredible. And it just goes there and sticks for the most part. If that rating hadn’t actually moved over the years I would think we were dealing with a BMT legend, but in reality this film is likely just very very terrible.)

Leonard Maltin – BOMB –  Ads for this woefully unfunny sequel show Schneider sitting under a phallic Leaning Tower of Pisa that appears to be protruding from his groin area. This would have been the film’s best joke – except it’s not in the film; nor is any other form of humor. Deuce is sent to Holland to train as a high-end Euro man whore. When he discovers some of his fellow gigolos are being killed, he jumps undercover(s). Can we possibly prevent another sequel? Famous faces appear in cameos, if that matters to you.

(Rough undercover(s) joke there, but, then again, this review was also funnier than this movie. It has been a while since we hit a BOMB from Maltin (especially since we tend to default to RogerEbert.com for recent films, since Maltin’s book is defunct). It is good to see that we definitely hit the worst Amsterdam has to offer us.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vDTU4-tLR_g

(Oh wow they used the worst joke in the film (the wine coming out of the tracheotomy) in the trailer and as the closer. That is incredible. Not to tip my hand, but having seen the film … this trailer somehow makes the film look less crass and stupid than it actually is. It is so gross and dumb. Hopefully this trailer dissuaded you from ever watching this pile of garbage.)

Directors – Mike Bigelow – (BMT: Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo; Notes: One and done, one and done. He was a commercial director with quite a bit of acclaim. A tale as old a time, commercial director gets a break, and then doesn’t do any other movies.)

Writers – Harris Goldberg (characters) – (Future BMT: I’ll Be Home for Christmas; Without a Paddle; BMT: The Master of Disguise; Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo; Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo; Notes: Was an actor on a show called 30 Dates to a Soul Mate in 2012 which lasted 23 episodes, although it is a little unclear what platform the show was made for.)

Rob Schneider (characters & story & screenplay) – (Future BMT: The Animal; The Hot Chick; BMT: Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo; Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo; Notes: Has been a writer on both of his recent television shows as well which lasted, together, 24 episodes.)

David Garrett (screenplay) – (Future BMT: Corky Romano; BMT: Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Screenplay for Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo in 2006; Notes: Is an accomplished trial lawyer who is (was?) Vice-President of development at Intrigue Entertainment.)

Jason Ward (screenplay) – (Future BMT: Corky Romano; BMT: Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Screenplay for Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo in 2006; Notes: Was a writer on the Fran Drescher television show Living with Fran.)

Actors – Rob Schneider – (Known For: 50 First Dates; Big Daddy; Muppets from Space; Future BMT: Littleman; Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo; The Animal; Norm of the North; Little Nicky; Knock Off; You Don’t Mess with the Zohan; The Hot Chick; InAPPropriate Comedy; Eight Crazy Nights; Sandy Wexler; Surf Ninjas; Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo; Mr. Deeds; You May Not Kiss the Bride; The Adventures of Pinocchio; The Waterboy; Bedtime Stories; Down Periscope; Big Stan; Click; The Longest Yard; Necessary Roughness; Home Alone 2: Lost in New York; BMT: Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo; The Ridiculous 6; The Beverly Hillbillies; Judge Dredd; The Benchwarmers; Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo; Around the World in 80 Days; Grown Ups; I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry; Demolition Man; Razzie Notes: Winner for Worst Actor for Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo in 2006; Nominee for Worst Screenplay, and Worst Screen Couple for Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo in 2006; Nominee for Worst Actor in 2007 for Littleman, and The Benchwarmers; Nominee for Worst Supporting Actor in 2000 for Big Daddy; in 2008 for I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry; and in 2011 for Grown Ups; and Nominee for Worst Actor of the Decade in 2010 for Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo, Grandma’s Boy, I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry, Little Nicky, Littleman, The Animal, The Benchwarmers, and The Hot Chick; Notes: Remember the girl selling girl scout cookies in the first Deuce Bigalow movie? That was his daughter Elle King.)

Eddie Griffin – (Known For: The Last Boy Scout; Undercover Brother; Jason’s Lyric; Brain Donors; The Wendell Baker Story; Future BMT: Date Movie; Coneheads; Scary Movie 3; The Meteor Man; House Party 3; My Baby’s Daddy; American Hero; The New Guy; Double Take; Armageddon; Foolish; The Walking Dead; BMT: Norbit; Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo; Redline; Pinocchio; Notes: There aren’t many reviews out so far (the one I found was quite positive), but he has a new Showtime stand-up special airing soon, which dominates his newsfeed.)

Jeroen Krabbé – (Known For: Ocean’s Twelve; The Fugitive; EverAfter; The Living Daylights; Dangerous Beauty; Immortal Beloved; Scandal; The Prince of Tides; An Ideal Husband; King of the Hill; The Fourth Man; Kafka; Spetters; Soldier of Orange; Crossing Delancey; Farinelli; Turtle Diary; A World Apart; Future BMT: The Punisher; Jumpin’ Jack Flash; Transporter 3; BMT: Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo; No Mercy; Notes: Dutch, he’s been married to his wife for over 50 years!)

Budget/Gross – $22 million / Domestic: $22,400,154 (Worldwide: $45,109,561)

(That is pretty rough. To just make back the reported budget is bad, but to do it at a time when Sandler was just turning out $100 million comedies like it was the easiest thing in the world probably but a nail in the coffin of Schneider’s leading man career.)

#46 for the Comedy – R-Rated Youth genre

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(I won’t reiterate what I said in the Deuce Bigalow preview, but here the amusing thing is that Deuce Bigalow came out during the American Pie meteoric rise of the genre. This on the other hand sits right at the point where people were just churning out mostly garbage sequels … so it fits right in naturally.)

#91 for the Comedy – Sequel (Live Action) genre

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(Ha, you can almost convince yourself that this movie actually made producers look at each other and say “alright then, I think that about does that, let’s get some original ideas in here so that we can make sequels again in 5 years”. I always note the wave form of these plots whenever a sequel comes up, which is exactly that I think. Hollywood going through periods of making originals, then making their sequels, rinse and repeat.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 9% (9/99): A witless follow-up to the surprise 1999 hit, Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo is raunchy, politically incorrect, and not particularly funny.

(Alright … politically incorrect is putting it mildly. Having actually seen this already this is bar-none the most homophobic film you’ll watch anytime soon. They drop the f-word like it is nothing, without a care in the world. It is shocking. Different time and all that, but … if I was in charge of this film I would have pulled as many DVD copies back in to edit some of the shit out and quickly as possible. It just comes across very very poorly.)

Poster – Deuce Bigelow European Gigosklog (D)

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(I do not like this poster for a variety of reasons but I think I’m inordinately bothered by the fact that this features the Leaning Tower of Pisa and yet is almost entirely set in Amsterdam… why? It would be like if the first one had the Empire State Building as a stand in for his penis. It doesn’t make sense and is unacceptable. Oh and nothing else is good about it either.)

Tagline(s) – For the women of Europe… The price of love just got a lot cheaper. (C-)

(Too long and not clever, although at least a bit better than the first one. It’s just so old fashioned.)

Keyword(s) – prostitute; Top Ten by BMeTric: 92.3 Date Movie (2006); 87.4 BloodRayne (2005); 77.8 Basic Instinct 2 (2006); 74.3 Wild Wild West (1999); 74.3 Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo (2005); 72.7 Jonah Hex (2010); 66.9 Extreme Movie (2008); 65.3 Baise-moi (2000); 64.7 The Crow: City of Angels (1996); 63.6 The Crow: Wicked Prayer (2005);

(Hopefully we never watch Extreme Movie. But this does remind me of one of the goals of the Bad Movie Twins over the coming months: watch more of the bad movies we had seen before we started the Bad Movie Twins Media Empire. They deserve the treatment we decided, so Wild Wild West here we come.)

Notes – Upon learning that the film received 5 Golden Raspberry (‘Razzie’) Award nominations, Rob Schneider himself took out a full page ad in the trades, boasting that the film was nominated for Worst Picture, Worst Actor – Rob Schneider, Worst Remake or Sequel, Worst Screenplay, and Worst Screen Couple – Rob Schneider and his diaper. Schneider later won the Worst Actor award. (Good for him? If he really wanted to impress though he would have attended and accepted the award in person. People get a ton of props for that every time)

The song that is being whistled throughout the movie is entitled “Something Stupid” (Good to know)

Roger Ebert hated the movie so much that he told Rob Schneider, “Mr. Schneider, your movie sucks.” Ebert recounted this incident in his book, “Your Movie Sucks.” Schneider later sent Ebert flowers when Ebert was in the hospital with cancer. Ebert said that he was moved by Schneider’s gesture and that he hoped he’d someday see Schneider in a film he thought was great. (Awww. Kind of heartwarming. Sadly, and I’m really meaning no offense, I don’t think Ebert did ever see him in a film and thought it was great)

Happy Madison moved to Columbia to produce the sequel due to creative differences with Disney. Disney wanted a PG-13 sequel while Adam Sandler and Rob Schneider wanted it to be R-rated like the original. (Hmmm, probably a bad decision on Happy Madison’s part. The first was harmless and kind of charming enough in its own weird way. The second though … woof).

Rob Schneider twisted his ankle while filming the sword fight scene, the footage can be seen in the DVD Making of feature. (I wonder why I don’t get to see this hilarious footage, can’t be hiding those sweet extras from me).

Rachel Stevens, who appears as Louisa, the Dirty Girl, also performs the song heard over the end credits “I Said Never Again (But Here We Are)”. (WOW. I didn’t realize that was a singer, what a strange … cameo I guess you would call that).

Jeroen Krabbé was persuaded to be in the movie by his son, who was a big fan of the original Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo (1999). (Poor choice)

Many of the Dutch extras and bit players in the movie are well-known actors and TV personalities in the Netherlands.

The word “man-whore” and it’s variations (“man-whoring” and “man-whores”) is said 47 times throughout the course of the movie. (Gross!)

The film is included on film critic Roger Ebert’s “Most Hated” list. In his zero-star review of the movie, he called it “aggressively bad, as if it wants to cause suffering to the audience”, and as “a movie that [the film’s studio and producers] should be discussing in long, sad conversations with their inner child.” (YUP)

Awards

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Actor of the Decade (Rob Schneider)

Winner for the Razzie Award for Worst Actor (Rob Schneider)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Picture

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Screen Couple (Rob Schneider)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Remake or Sequel

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Screenplay (Rob Schneider, David Garrett, Jason Ward)

Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo Preview

We are Sklogpacking right across Europe and there is literally no other choice for the comedy entry in the cycle than the film for this week. Based on historical evidence this will either be an underrated comedy that he hold close to our hearts… or it will literally be the worst thing we’ve ever seen. That’s right! We’re watching Deuce Bigelow European Gigolo. Obviously watching this critically reviled sequel will involve a bonus viewing of the first film (generally thought to be bad, but at least better than the second film). The sequel took Rob Schneider to beautiful Amsterdam to attempt to figure out who was out killing Male Gigolos across Europe. If it can at least not be a lazy sack of shit then it should come out on top of Strange Wilderness… I’m not holding out hope. Also a reminder that we now have the European mapl.de.map up on the website if you want to check it out. Let’s go!

Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo (1999) – BMeTric: 42.5

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(Actually … nothing super interesting here IMO. Inflection at 2011, increasing rating as votes increase, 50K is right around where I expect, and so is the BMeTric. We’ve done it guys, we’ve analyzed bad movie IMDb plots so thoroughly that they are rote.)

Leonard Maltin – 2.5 stars –  Professional fish-tank cleaner breaks an expensive tank, and in order to pay for it becomes a gigolo. (Why not?) Potty humor and outlandish situations abound, but Schneider’s character is surprisingly likeable in this silly comedy. Marlo Thomas appears unbilled. Followed by a sequel.

(Oh … we know it was followed by a sequel. This is basically my attitude about the film going into it. It kind of has that Happy Gilmore / Billy Madison vibe to it. Innocuous enough if you can accept the very silly and immature humor. It is not really surprising it would end up with 2.5 stars from Maltin who seems fairly accepting of films just being films even without deeper meaning necessarily.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wk_19DT6y9Y

(I love how they kind of had to show the gigolo (Antoine) hanging from the ceiling so that the way Deuce destroys the apartment with the same apparatus wouldn’t be confusing. This is also an incredibly long trailer, the entire part in the beginning with the killer Koi is completely useless. But, it also looks harmless enough.)

Directors – Mike Mitchell – (Known For: Trolls; Shrek Forever After; Sky High; The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water; Future BMT: Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked; Surviving Christmas; BMT: Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo; Notes: His two brothers launched an animation studio, which is probably why he mostly directs animated features at this point. That studio has gone bankrupt twice, and it doesn’t seem like he worked for them at all.)

Writers – Harris Goldberg (written by) – (Future BMT: I’ll Be Home for Christmas; Without a Paddle; BMT: The Master of Disguise; Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo; Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo; Notes: He at one point was the number two ranked tennis player in Canada, and played John McEnroe in the Canada Open.)

Rob Schneider (written by) – (Future BMT: The Animal; The Hot Chick; BMT: Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo; Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo; Notes: I cannot wait until we complete Rob Schneider’s writing credits. It seems like he started on SNL as a writer and converted to a player when Sandler and the rest of his crew joined in 1990.)

Actors – Rob Schneider – (Known For: 50 First Dates; Big Daddy; Muppets from Space; Future BMT: Littleman; Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo; The Animal; Norm of the North; Little Nicky; Knock Off; You Don’t Mess with the Zohan; The Hot Chick; InAPPropriate Comedy; Eight Crazy Nights; Sandy Wexler; Surf Ninjas; Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo; Mr. Deeds; You May Not Kiss the Bride; The Adventures of Pinocchio; The Waterboy; Bedtime Stories; Down Periscope; Big Stan; Click; The Longest Yard; Necessary Roughness; Home Alone 2: Lost in New York; BMT: Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo; The Ridiculous 6; The Beverly Hillbillies; Judge Dredd; The Benchwarmers; Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo; Around the World in 80 Days; Grown Ups; I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry; Demolition Man; Razzie Notes: Winner for Worst Actor for Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo in 2006; Nominee for Worst Screenplay, and Worst Screen Couple for Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo in 2006; Nominee for Worst Actor in 2007 for Littleman, and The Benchwarmers; Nominee for Worst Supporting Actor in 2000 for Big Daddy; in 2008 for I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry; and in 2011 for Grown Ups; and Nominee for Worst Actor of the Decade in 2010 for Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo, Grandma’s Boy, I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry, Little Nicky, Littleman, The Animal, The Benchwarmers, and The Hot Chick; Notes: SNL alum and frequent collaborator with Happy Madison productions. He is currently on tour with Sandler doing comedy is seems, which is interesting.)

William Forsythe – (Known For: Once Upon a Time in America; The Rock; Dick Tracy; The Devil’s Rejects; Raising Arizona; The Substitute; American Me; Patty Hearst; Cloak & Dagger; City by the Sea; Extreme Prejudice; Hell’s Kitchen; The Waterdance; Lethal Vengeance; Weeds; Palookaville; Future BMT: Freedomland; Virtuosity; Hard Ca$h; Halloween; Out for Justice; Career Opportunities; Blue Streak; The Gun in Betty Lou’s Handbag; Loosies; Dead Bang; War on the Range; Things to Do in Denver When You’re Dead; BMT: Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo; Firestorm; 88 Minutes; Stone Cold; Notes: By far the best note about him is that he co-starred with two NFL players in his career, Brian Bosworth in Stone Cold and Howie Long in Firestorm … we’ve seen both of those movies!)

Eddie Griffin – (Known For: The Last Boy Scout; Undercover Brother; Jason’s Lyric; Brain Donors; The Wendell Baker Story; Future BMT: Date Movie; The Mod Squad; Coneheads; Scary Movie 3; The Meteor Man; House Party 3; My Baby’s Daddy; American Hero; The New Guy; Double Take; Armageddon; Foolish; The Walking Dead; BMT: Norbit; Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo; Redline; Pinocchio; Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo; Notes: Enrolled as a biological engineering major at the University of Miami, but dropped out to pursue comedy. Is ranked as a top 100 best stand-up performers in history by Comedy Central.)

Budget/Gross – $17 million / Domestic: $65,538,755 (Worldwide: $92,938,755)

(Not bad. Pretty promising for a non-Sandler Sandler film I would think. I mean, if you are using a second-rate lead you’d kind of expect a second-rate return, and that is more than enough to legitimize the sequel I would think.)

#28 for the Comedy – R-Rated Youth genre

deucebigalowmalegigolo_r-ratedcomedy

(Always an interesting category, mainly because it is a little confusing that Neighbors is on there but not the sequel … although I think it might be because the second was considered to be less of a frat house theme. Unclear. Anyways, two things, after the 80s boom died down the genre was somewhat relegated to direct-to-DVD. American Pie ushered in a new era, and then even after that Superbad / Knocked Up resulted in a second boom. The genre, I think, is once again relegated to VOD, although given teens still go to the movies a ton, some next-gen filmmaker will hit that feeling of going to high school in the early-2010s at some point. It’ll happen.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 23% (17/75): According to critics, Deuce Bigalow is just too dumb and filled with old, tired gags.

(Considering this is Rotten Tomatoes perhaps the “According to critics” part is a bit redundant. Like … who else would it be according to? This consensus could be made about 80% of the Happy Madison productions.)

Poster – Deuce Gigosklog (A-)

deuce_bigalow_male_gigolo

(I think this is a very clever poster. Artistically presents the entire premise of the film… ignoring the fact that the premise is incredibly thin. Some interesting font would have pushed to this A+ maybe.)

Tagline(s) – He’s not very good looking. But when the lights go out…he’s still not very good looking. (D+)

(This is a very long joke and probably not well used as a tagline. Gotta do better with a comedy film.)

Keyword(s) – male objectification; Top Ten by BMeTric: 90.3 Fifty Shades of Grey (2015); 88.7 Vampires Suck (2010); 87.2 Crossroads (I) (2002); 81.0 Sex and the City 2 (2010); 77.0 Fifty Shades Darker (2017); 75.4 Fifty Shades of Black (2016); 74.3 Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo (2005); 73.7 Psycho (1998); 73.3 Zoolander 2 (2016); 72.2 Going Overboard (1989);

(We are coming for you Crossroads. Although I don’t really recall that film being particularly objectifying of men. At least … not in the same way as Deuce Bigalow is. Hmmm … this is making me explore my biases and I’m growing as a person. Thanks Deuce Bigalow: Make Gigolo.)

Notes – Rob Schneider’s mother Pilar Schneider appears in the film as the woman he mistakes for his date in the Japanese restaurant. (Yeah, I think Rob Schneider is half Asian, which is a kind of ludicrous explanation for why he played an offensive stereotype in I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry).

In the scene where Deuce is walking with the tall woman and the phrase “freak” is shouted, the speaker of that line is actually Adam Sandler. Other than being a producer, it’s his only “credit” in the film. (Ugh)

The person who played the cookie girl was Rob Schneider’s daughter, Elle King. She would later go on to perform “Ex’s and Oh’s”, a song that received moderate airplay. At the time she was named Elle Tanner Schneider. (What the fuck, that song is pretty famous: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0uLI6BnVh6w )

Even though Norm MacDonald was not in the official credits, he was given credit in a roundabout way at the end of the movie. A clip was shown of him as a bartender saying that Norm MacDonald only worked one day on the movie.

The exterior of the house that Deuce Bigelow is leaving with the giant woman is the same as the one used on the TV show Charmed (1998). (FUN FACT)

The first movie from Happy Madison Productions.

Although spelled differently, the name “Berguita” (Kate’s roommate) is a Spanish slang word for “little penis”, this being referred several times by William Forsythe’s character

When Deuce first meets Antoine and sees his weapon collection, Deuce says, “I collect Canadian quarters . . . I got about six of them”. After his first “job” when he goes to the bar, his bill totals $11.50. He gives the bartender (an uncredited Norm MacDonald) “Ten, and six quarters”, presumably his Canadian quarter collection and the total take from his first “job”. (Yeah I did notice this, but also expected Norm to say that those were Canadian and wouldn’t be accepted).

The game that Deuce and Ruth are attending was between the Anaheim Angels and Cleveland Indians. (I love this stuff. Mapping out the “facts” about a movie. I but you could pin down an exact-ish date using this, the entire film takes place in a three week span in which the Angles and Indians plays in Anaheim).

The girl in the pet shop was also in Sorority Boys and unknowingly shows her breasts through a wet shirt in that film as well. (Jesus Christ, I’m done)

Strange Wilderness Preview

A small note prior to this post: Once again we take a look back at the movies that we watched over five years ago and choose a Hall of Fame class, five movies that we thought embodied BMT in some way. Perhaps they were particularly bad, or an example of a specific bad movie trope, whatever, something made them stand out as special in our minds. Since we didn’t do email previews back in 2011/2012 we also decided to provide a preview for the movie as well. This is the second in a series of five leading up to our yearly awards the Smaddies Baddies. A recap (Hall of Fame speech really) will follow immediate afterwards to explain why the movie was chosen, things we loved about the movie, and things we discovered upon second viewing. Enjoy!

Strange Wilderness (2008) – BMeTric: 48.8

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(So I’m going to dub this trajectory the Teenage Boy Arc. Basically I think what happens is that the only people who want to watch this film when it is difficult to get are people who like this brand of terrible humor. Then once people can watch the film and it is featured on rental sites it drops. And now the only people who watch the film are, again, teenage boys who watch stoner comedies unironically. Not to shit on an entire class of people, but I was a teenage boy, and I had terrible taste in comedy. Just terrible.)

Leonard Maltin – BOMB –  Painfully unfunny farce about producers of a ratings-challenged wildlife TV series who desperately seek Bigfoot in the wilds of Ecuador. You can’t help feeling embarrassed or Zahn, as the clueless host, when a wild turkey chomps on his private parts and won’t let go. Shelved for nearly two years before a fleeting theatrical run.

(I forgot it was shelved for years before it was released. The rumor is that Paramount stripped their name off of the film entirely. After watching the movie again the turkey scene is the worst thing I’ve ever seen, so if you are reading this preview before watching the film … enjoy.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZKyowLXH8sk

(Yeah, seems about right. That trailer has more of a direction and storyline than the actual film by the way. It is far far less coherent when they try to stretch this out to 90 minutes.)

Directors – Fred Wolf – (Known For: The House Bunny; BMT: Strange Wilderness; Razzie Notes: Nominated for Worst Screenplay for Grown Ups 2 in 2014; Notes: Both of the movies he directed came out in 2008 and he has been doing straight-to-video and shorts since. He is slated to have an Alec Baldwin film, Drunk Parents, out next year though.)

Writers – Peter Gaulke (written by) – (Known For: Ice Age 2: The Meltdown; Future BMT: Black Knight; The Babymakers; BMT: Say It Isn’t So; Strange Wilderness; Notes: I wouldn’t call him the writing partner of Wolf necessarily, but he was a staff writer on SNL at the same time as Wolf and is writing Drunk Parents with Wolf slated for later this year.)

Fred Wolf (written by) – (Known For: I Want Candy; Future BMT: Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star; Joe Dirt; Without a Paddle; Black Sheep; Dirty Work; BMT: Grown Ups 2; Strange Wilderness; Grown Ups; Razzie Notes: Nominated for Worst Screenplay for Grown Ups 2 in 2014; Notes: He was a staff writer for SNL during Sandler’s stint which was his big break. After all of those guys got fired he was asked back to be the head writer and featured player. I can only find one clip with him in it though, a short Weekend Update piece.)

Actors – Steve Zahn – (Known For: War for the Planet of the Apes; Captain Fantastic; Dallas Buyers Club; Diary of a Wimpy Kid; You’ve Got Mail; The Good Dinosaur; That Thing You Do!; Out of Sight; Lean on Pete; Roadkill; Stuart Little; Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days; Rescue Dawn; A Perfect Getaway; Crimson Tide; Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules; Bandidas; Reality Bites; Knights of Badassdom; Stuart Little 2; Future BMT: Daddy Day Care; National Security; Chicken Little; Saving Silverman; Sahara; Race the Sun; Chelsea Walls; Employee of the Month; BMT: The Ridiculous 6; Strange Wilderness; Escape from Planet Earth; Notes: Was born and raised in Minnesota, and trained for stage acting in Boston. He met his wife while they were touring with a production of Bye Bye Birdie. Cool life story.)

Allen Covert – (Known For: Hotel Transylvania 2; Happy Gilmore; 50 First Dates; Big Daddy; Hotel Transylvania; The Wedding Singer; The House Bunny; Never Been Kissed; Anger Management; Future BMT: Little Nicky; Eight Crazy Nights; Sandy Wexler; Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo; Mr. Deeds; Bulletproof; The Waterboy; Bedtime Stories; Airheads; The Longest Yard; Heavy Weights; Grandma’s Boy; BMT: Jack and Jill; Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star; Paul Blart: Mall Cop; Grown Ups 2; Strange Wilderness; Pixels; I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry; Just Go with It; Blended; Razzie Notes: Nominated for Worst Screenplay for Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star in 2012; Notes: Often vaguely seen as a sidekick to Adam Sandler’s characters in his various films. He had a string of writing credits which appears to have ended with Bucky Larson and Jack and Jill.)

Justin Long – (Known For: Jeepers Creepers; Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story; Idiocracy; Die Hard 4.0; He’s Just Not That Into You; 10 Years; Galaxy Quest; Tusk; Zack and Miri Make a Porno; Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story; Drag Me to Hell; Veronica Mars; Herbie Fully Loaded; Funny People; Youth in Revolt; Comet; Going the Distance; Frank & Lola; The Conspirator; For a Good Time, Call…; Future BMT: Crossroads; Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel; Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked; Alvin and the Chipmunks; Yoga Hosers; Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip; Jeepers Creepers II; Walking with Dinosaurs 3D; Alpha and Omega; The Break-Up; Serious Moonlight; Planet 51; Trauma; Ghost Team; Accepted; The Lookalike; Best Man Down; Literally, Right Before Aaron; Waiting…; BMT: Movie 43; Old Dogs; Strange Wilderness; Notes: Pretty famous comedic actor, who might still be most well known as the Mac Guy from the Apple ads featuring John Hodgman. His BMT filmography is … formidable.)

Budget/Gross – $20 million / Domestic: $6,575,282 (Worldwide: $6,964,734)

(Just no money. Like nothing. An absolute catastrophe. No wonder the director couldn’t really get anything done for a while.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 2% (1/45): Strange Wilderness is a laugh-free comedy that’s both aimless and overly crass.

(Laugh free. Aimless. Overly crass. Yeah, that is just about how I remember this film. One of the worst reviewed films ever made. Excellent.)

Poster – Sklog Wilderness (C-)

strange_wilderness

(So the poster is a hard-F. Like unforgivably ugly … but the boldness of the color choice is almost interesting in itself. And then the font on the title is actually quite good. Like the silhouette. Something about it gets it close to average I think.)

Tagline(s) – This ain’t March of the Penguins. (B)

(Like it actually. Pretty descriptive idea. Bump it down because it is aging quite poorly and will only get worse as time goes on.)

Keyword(s) – bigfoot; Top Ten by BMeTric: 55.3 Eegah (1962); 48.8 Strange Wilderness (2008); 44.5 Willow Creek (2013); 43.3 The Barbaric Beast of Boggy Creek, Part II (1984); 39.1 Exists (2014); 36.2 Judy Moody and the Not Bummer Summer (2011); 32.6 Harry and the Hendersons (1987); 31.3 Abominable (2006); 29.9 Bigfoot: The Lost Coast Tapes (2012); 27.4 The Legend of Boggy Creek (1972);

(Huh, some of those are pretty big! I didn’t realize it until now, but Harry and the Hendersons was originally released as Bigfoot and the Hendersons in the UK.)

Notes – During the clip of the zebra being eaten by the vultures, the zebra “responds” to the birds with “oh my god, oh my god…” is actually a clip taken from the movie “Super Troopers”. It is Paul Soter when his character is “flashing” Marisa Coughlan outside of the police station while on the phone with her. (I think I actually caught that)

“Strange Wilderness” began its life in the 1990’s as a series of independently produced short videos by former “Saturday Night Live” writers Fred Wolf and Peter Gaulke. “They started out as little parodies of wildlife shows,” explains writer and producer Gaulke. “Fred and I went out and shot them with the help of John Burrud, who actually has a real-life wildlife show. His father Bill used to host ‘Animal World’ and other travel and nature shows back in the ’60s. So John helped us produce these little shorts which we eventually got onto Comedy Central.” (Ugh, that’s embarrassing. Reminds me of how Friedberg and Seltzer kind of got their start because Rick Friedberg made a cheesy golf instructional video with Leslie Nielsen)

The two main characters are named after the film’s screenwriters.

Some of the clips used when the TV executive proves that Strange Wilderness is too inappropriate are clips from the Faces of Death series. For example, Man on fire with Jesus music, Man being attacked by an alligator, and Pygmy footage) (I didn’t know this was a thing and I don’t really like that I now know that is a thing … but maybe I’m somehow better because I know this thing? It is a confusing time for me)