Fathers’ Day Recap

Jamie

There are three very funny things about Fathers’ Day that I think have to be noted at the top… mostly because the rest of the film is less interesting. First, the punctuation in the title is magnificent. And this wasn’t lost in translation. The French film’s title was also a pun. Working overtime on the title so they didn’t have to work on anything else it seems. Second, Sugar Ray isn’t just featured in this film. The film basically stars Sugar Ray. Perfection. This was before they hit it big with “Fly” and they changed from nu metal to pop rock. So anyone who watches it now has to think that the premise that Billy Crystal and Robin Williams’ son ran off to follow Sugar Ray on the road is hilarious. But I guess in that very brief moment it was totally serious. Third, the wikipedia page says that some people speculate it was a big commercial failure because it was released on Mother’s Day. HA!

Anyway, the concept of the film is that Billy Crystal is an oft-married lawyer and Robin Williams is a suicidal writer. A woman they both briefly dated seventeen years ago comes a-knockin’ and is like ‘you are the father of my son and he’s missing.’ Billy Crystal is like ‘no way’ but still finds himself drawn to the search where he ends up running into Williams. Realizing the ruse, they set out on the road nonetheless because probably one of them is the father (right? Actually wrong… the lady is an admitted liar and you still aren’t going to question this? Sigh). They find him trashed at a Sugar Ray concert (who among us…) and get him back to their hotel room, but he turns out to be more than they bargained for. He’s still totally in love with a girl following Sugar Ray and wants to go after her. Awww. Oh and also he stole a bunch of money from some drug dealers to buy the girl a necklace. Oh, uh, less awwww. They go after the girl, but the drug dealers catch up with them and hilarity more-or-less ensues. Crystal is ready to abandon the search, but his new wife is like “uh, what kind of father are you?” and he realizes that he has to do right by his fake son. So he goes to the next Sugar Ray concert and he and Williams headbutt everyone to death to help their son escape (basically). Williams and Crystal are now best friends and neither of them are the father of the kid they saved. THE END.

I kinda wish this film was funnier. Or at least that it was funnier in all the bad ways. Cause the idea that the main thrust of the film stars Sugar Ray should be enough to take a film from ‘pretty funny’ to ‘hilarious.’ But that’s presuming the rest of the film can get it to ‘pretty funny.’ But no. It just meanders along. Sometimes it’s sweet, sometimes Robin Williams is asked to carry a heavy improv load, and sometimes it makes no sense. Feels like The Odd Couple II or something. Meh, I mean… I guess it is what it is. 

Hot Take Clam Bake time. At the end of the film we see a family reconciled. So does it last? Does our prodigal son stay home for good? I’m gonna shock the world and say yeah. I mean, there he is laying on his bed, thinking of his girlfriend probably in bed with THE Sugar Ray, despite that also thinking of all the rad Sugar Ray moments he is missing when oh ho ho.. What’s this? The DJ on the radio is saying the new single from Sugar Ray is coming on. He turns it up. On comes “Fly” and he’s like WTF, mate? Put some more shrimp on the barbie, cause this isn’t the Sugar Ray I know and love. Where is the nu metal funkiness? This is just some pop rock sellout bullshit. He burns all his Sugar Ray posters and JNCO jeans and buys a suit, goes to college, and becomes a lawyer like his fake dad Billy Crystal. Years later on his deathbed he whispers “Mean Machine” before a wallet chain drops from his dead hand. Everyone is very confused. Hot Take Temperature: Nashville Hot. Patrick?

Patrick

‘Ello everyone! Fathers’ Day? More like Fathers’ Lame, amirite? Here are ten easy steps to making Billy Crystal and Robin Williams not at all funny. Let’s go!

  • The reviewers on this film seemed confused as to how they made these actors not funny. I don’t think it is confusing at all if you’ve seen the original, because the original had, beat for beat, the same jokes. Except in the original it is Gerard Depardieu as a semi-sleezy journalist headbutting people whereas here is it … Billy Crystal still headbutting people? So you see, they just needed to let Billy Crystal and Robin Williams cook. But instead they took a French film (and all that that means in terms of a sense of humor) and applied them directly without alteration onto Billy Crystal and Robin Williams.
  • For all its quirks Robin Williams still works for me. His tragic depressed clown thing seems pretty okay outside of the one montage where he is trying on hats and saying dumb catchphrases to himself … that was rough.
  • Everyone else in the film I think doesn’t really work at all. Jared Harris as hardcore Sugar Ray fan / drug dealer? No thanks. Sugar Ray as themselves? Also no thanks. Billy Crystal and Julia Louis Dreyfuss might as well have not been there in the end. The kid is annoying. Bruce Greenwood is not nearly as Bad Dad as I would have hoped. More like Not So Bad Once You Get To Know Him Dad, you know?
  • But Reno? Sugar Ray? A cast and crew to die for? What a weirdo film. Too bad it wasn’t funny bad and was instead just bad bad huh?
  • The best ever Product Placement (What?) for Sugar Ray! That counts right? I’m counting it, they play such a huge amusing part in this film. Also a fantastic Setting as a Character (Where?) as both a road trip comedy, but also in it taking place in Reno, Nevada of all places for the final big Sugar Ray concert. Pretty hilarious MacGuffin (Why?) for their not-child they are chasing through the film. I think this is closest to Bad, just by, indeed, being aggressively unfunny.
  • And I might as well do a tiny bit of a look at the original film called ComPère in a lot of places, which I think is a play off of compere (accomplice) and père (father), which is fun I suppose. The film also isn’t funny (although I could see people thinking it is), but at the very least Depardieu seems far more in place than Billy Crystal does in the same part. So I’ll give it that. I would never ever watch the film again, although it does make me intrigued by early Depardieu. Seems like an interesting actor in terms of how he eventually broke into Hollywood to some degree as well.

Read the never-to-be-seen 20-years-later sequel called Grandfathers’ Day (obviously, even though there are nary a grandfather to be seen in the entire film). Cheerios,

The Sklogs

Fathers’ Day Quiz

Wow, so get this. I was trying to chase down my maybe-kid (just found out) when this British punk popped out of nowhere and bopped me on the head! Now I can’t remember a thing. Do you remember what happened in Fathers’ Day?

Pop Quiz Hot Shot!

1) The two titular fathers are played by Billy Crystal and Robin Williams. What are their jobs?

2) They are both wrapped up in a search for someone they think is their son. Where did he run off to and why?

3) And he’s in a tad bit of trouble with Jared Harris (remember meeeeeeeeeeeeeee). Why?

4) Robin Williams drives around most of the film, but has one particular quirk when he drives which he shows off at least twice. What is it?

5) In the end, who is the actual father? Who think he’s the father as well?

Bonus Question: In the mid-credits scene we see Robin Williams show up at Billy Crystal’s door. Why?

Answers

Fathers’ Day Preview

“I don’t understand, what did we do?” Jamie says, scratching his head, “You just crushed the two Time Cops that were about to kill us.” Lou Cash is startled, but when he looks down to see the crushed remains of the Time Cops he waves it off as irrelevant. “Fiddle-faddle. You were about to do a sick twin forward flip and knock the guns out of their hands anyway. The point is you made it here, exactly when and where I landed my fully functional deconvolution machine.” Jamie and Patrick and the gang shrug and high five. Jamie and Patrick have been known to kick guns out of their enemies’ hands with twin forward flips from time to time. So it tracks. But just before they all pile into the time machine Patrick stops and turns back to Lou Cash. Something is bothering him. “Lou Cash… how did you know to come here?” Lou Cash shakes his head. “My dear boy, it’s because I was one of the Time Cops and I have the scar to prove it.” He pulls up his sleeve and there is a perfect twin kick scar on his wrist. Now something is really bothering Jamie, “But then didn’t you just crush yourself?” Lou Cash looks back at the crushed Time Cops and shrugs. “Guess I did.” Jamie looks concerned, “And that’s not a problem?” Lou Cash thinks for a second, looks down at his hand, which has now started to fade, and agrees that it probably is a problem. As he disappears he lets out one last “Never forget meeeeee.” Finally piling into the time machine, a somber mood now hanging in the air, both Jamie and Patrick gasp when they see the date punched into the console: Father’s Day, 2017. That’s right! We’re watching the very appropriately punctuated Fathers’ Day from 1997 starring Billy Crystal and Robin Williams. It’s based on a French film and something must have been… lost in translation. Let’s go!

Fathers’ Day (1997) – BMeTric: 49.7; Notability: 62

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 8.8%; Notability: top 3.2%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 21.6%; Higher BMeT: Batman & Robin, Mortal Kombat: Annihilation, Speed 2: Cruise Control, Home Alone 3, Steel, Anaconda, Mr. Magoo, Double Team, Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie, Chairman of the Board, Spawn, Flubber, Honey, We Shrunk Ourselves!, An American Werewolf in Paris, Jungle 2 Jungle, Fire Down Below, Turbulence, Gone Fishin’, McHale’s Navy, The Pest, and 2 more; Higher Notability: Batman & Robin, The Saint, Speed 2: Cruise Control, Dante’s Peak, The Jackal, Flubber, The Postman, Spawn; Lower RT: Fall, Plump Fiction, The Blackout, McHale’s Navy, Shadow Conspiracy, Gone Fishin’, Mortal Kombat: Annihilation, The Pest, Speed 2: Cruise Control, ‘Til There Was You, An American Werewolf in Paris, Mr. Magoo, An Alan Smithee Film: Burn Hollywood Burn, Dangerous Ground, The Postman, 8 Heads in a Duffel Bag, Keys to Tulsa, Double Team, How to Be a Player, Steel, and 31 more; Notes: Really impressive numbers for a comedy. So many high Notability films left from 1997. The Saint is a pretty exciting one, I think that it is a sneaky good film.

Leonard Maltin – 2 stars –  When her 16-year-old son runs away, a desperate Kinski tells each of two ex-lovers that he’s the real father, hoping that this will spur one of them to find the boy. The two men – a genuine odd couple – wind up working together on this daunting task. Lackluster remake of Francis Veber’s Les Comperes gets whatever mileage it has from the two comic stars’ personalities … but the boy is extremely dislikable, and a subplot with his stepfather (Greenwood) is a complete misfire.

(Man, does Greenwood play a Bad Dad again in this film? He plays a Good Dad in Here on Earth, but he’s definitely a Bad Dad in Endless Love. So he’s a Mixed Dad Bag.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xsQfKt08Xlk/

(The montage with Williams looks horrible. And yup, there is Sugar Ray front and center. Makes me want to go see this movie, probably for the wrong reasons though.)

DirectorsIvan Reitman – ( Known For: Ghostbusters; No Strings Attached; Kindergarten Cop; Meatballs; Evolution; Ghostbusters II; Twins; Stripes; Draft Day; Dave; Cannibal Girls; Legal Eagles; Foxy Lady; Future BMT: Six Days Seven Nights; Junior; My Super Ex-Girlfriend; BMT: Fathers’ Day; Notes: Died just this year. Was nominated for an Oscar for Up in the Air, and for an Emmy for the television movie The Late Shift.)

WritersFrancis Veber – ( Known For: The Valet; The Birdcage; Dinner for Schmucks; The Valet; The Man with One Red Shoe; Le Dîner de Cons; La Cage aux Folles; Buddy Buddy; The Tall Blond Man with One Black Shoe; Ruby & Quentin; The Closet; La Chèvre; Partners; The Fugitives; Le Magnifique; The Toy; Hold-Up; The ComDads; The Jaguar; A Pain in the Ass; Future BMT: The Toy; My Father the Hero; Three Fugitives; Pure Luck; BMT: Fathers’ Day; Notes: Was nominated for an Oscar for La Cage aux folles. He has had 12 of his films remade as American films. That’s what I like to see for this cycle!)

Lowell Ganz – ( Known For: A League of Their Own; Robots; Splash; Parenthood; City Slickers; Night Shift; Fever Pitch; Multiplicity; Edtv; Forget Paris; Mr. Saturday Night; Future BMT: Where the Heart Is; Tooth Fairy; Spies Like Us; Gung Ho; Vibes; Greedy; City Slickers II: The Legend of Curly’s Gold; BMT: Fathers’ Day; Notes: Nominated for an Oscar for Splash. Basically his entire family is in entertainment (his three children, brother, and two cousins). His son created Santa Clara Diet.)

Babaloo Mandel – ( Known For: A League of Their Own; Robots; Splash; Parenthood; City Slickers; Night Shift; Fever Pitch; Multiplicity; Edtv; Forget Paris; Mr. Saturday Night; Future BMT: Where the Heart Is; Tooth Fairy; Spies Like Us; Gung Ho; Vibes; Greedy; City Slickers II: The Legend of Curly’s Gold; BMT: Fathers’ Day; Razzie Notes: Winner for Worst Screenplay for The Flintstones in 1995; Notes: Writing partner of Ganz. They are going to get some play soon since the A League of Their Own television series is coming out.)

ActorsRobin Williams – ( Known For: Good Will Hunting; Dead Poets Society; Jumanji; Aladdin; One Hour Photo; Mrs. Doubtfire; To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar; The Birdcage; Night at the Museum; Robots; Popeye; A.I. Artificial Intelligence; Good Morning, Vietnam; Awakenings; Insomnia; The Butler; Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian; Night at the Museum: Secret of the Tomb; Dead Again; What Dreams May Come; Future BMT: Hook; Jack; RV; Patch Adams; August Rush; Bicentennial Man; Flubber; Nine Months; The Night Listener; Man of the Year; The Best of Times; Club Paradise; The Survivors; Jakob the Liar; BMT: The Big Wedding; Fathers’ Day; Old Dogs; Toys; License to Wed; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Actor in 2000 for Bicentennial Man, and Jakob the Liar; and Nominee for Worst Supporting Actor for Death to Smoochy in 2003; Notes: Nominated for three Best Actor Oscars, ended up winning for Supporting actor in Good Will Hunting. Also nominated for 9 Emmys and won twice. Died in 2014.)

Billy Crystal – ( Known For: The Princess Bride; Cars; When Harry Met Sally…; Monsters, Inc.; Howl’s Moving Castle; This Is Spinal Tap; Monsters University; City Slickers; Analyze This; Here Today; Hamlet; I’m Still Here; Throw Momma from the Train; The Adventures of Rocky & Bullwinkle; Running Scared; Deconstructing Harry; Forget Paris; Mr. Saturday Night; Standing Up, Falling Down; Untogether; Future BMT: Parental Guidance; Tooth Fairy; America’s Sweethearts; Analyze That; The Comedian; My Giant; City Slickers II: The Legend of Curly’s Gold; BMT: Fathers’ Day; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Remake or Sequel for City Slickers II: The Legend of Curly’s Gold in 1995; Notes: If I’m counting right he’s been nominated for 23 Emmys and won six times. Naturally a few of those times were for hosting the Oscars, which he was famous for in the early 90s. He is 74 years old.)

Julia Louis-Dreyfus – ( Known For: Black Widow; A Bug’s Life; Onward; Christmas Vacation; Enough Said; Hannah and Her Sisters; Deconstructing Harry; Future BMT: Planes; Downhill; Soul Man; Jack the Bear; BMT: Fathers’ Day; Troll; North; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Supporting Actress for Fathers’ Day in 1998; Notes: Was nominated for 27 Emmys and won 11 times, mostly for acting/writing in Seinfeld, The New Adventures of Old Christine, and Veep, her three major television hits. Her father is a billionaire, and by extension so is she, but she hasn’t done so poorly for herself.)

Budget/Gross – $85 million / Domestic: $28,598,376 (Worldwide: $28,598,376)

(Terrible. It is a little confusing as to how this film could have cost so much, but then again, a chunk of it takes place are a genuine Sugar Ray concert, so it is possible that filming in Reno and throwing a giant fake concert with a real band could have contributed to the inflated budget. Also, just look at the cast and crew, every single one was nominated or won an Emmy or Oscar, so they really didn’t hold back in putting this film together.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 25% (15/61): A maudlin misfire, Father’s Day manages the difficult task of making Billy Crystal and Robin Williams woefully unfunny.

(So I can lend some insight here having watched both the original and remake at this point. So the issue was they just reused most of the jokes from the original without really thinking through adapting the movie to the two leads. The film is immediately funnier if you just let Billy Crystal be Billy Crystal and Robin Williams be Robin Williams. Instead they aren’t.)

Reviewer Highlight: Add to these problems the fact that Fathers’ Day is a comedy starring two reputedly hilarious people who don’t make you laugh once, and you have a movie that would be great if everything about it weren’t terrible. – Keith Phipps, AV Club

Poster – Baldurs’ Gate

(Oh deary me, no. If this were a film about two friends, one a buttoned up family man with three kids and the other a man child who just knocked up his girlfriend, who go on a road trip so that Billy Crystal can help Robin Williams prepare to be a father (but perhaps learn a little bit more about themselves than they bargained for) then this poster makes sense. Otherwise it’s just a big red flag. Nice font though. C-.)

Tagline(s) – All she said was “My son is yours.” Unfortunately, she said it to both of them. (D)

(Yes, that’s the plot of the film. Unfortunately it’s not a tagline.)

Keyword(s) – European Remake

Top 10: 12 Monkeys (1995), The Italian Job (2003), Insomnia (2002), Scent of a Woman (1992), Clash of the Titans (2010), Some Like It Hot (1959), Vanilla Sky (2001), True Lies (1994), Dawn of the Dead (2004), The Tourist (2010)

Future BMT: 54.5 Eye of the Beholder (1999), 54.0 Downhill (2020), 49.2 The Omen (2006), 47.1 Nine Months (1995), 44.8 Catch That Kid (2004), 44.4 Brick Mansions (2014), 43.1 Diabolique (1996), 43.1 Sleepless (2017), 43.0 Village of the Damned (1995), 41.8 I Think I Love My Wife (2007)

BMT: The Wicker Man (2006), Taxi (2004), The Haunting (1999), Get Carter (2000), Jungle 2 Jungle (1997), Pathfinder (2007), Fathers’ Day (1997), The Big Wedding (2013), The Blue Lagoon (1980), School for Scoundrels (2006), Blame It on Rio (1984), Vanilla Sky (2001)

Best Options (Comedy): 54.0 Downhill (2020), 49.5 Fathers’ Day (1997), 47.1 Nine Months (1995), 44.8 Catch That Kid (2004), 41.8 I Think I Love My Wife (2007), 41.2 Mixed Nuts (1994), 37.9 My Father the Hero (1994), 36.8 Just Visiting (2001), 34.6 Mad Money (2008), 31.4 The Toy (1982), 29.7 The Woman in Red (1984), 26.3 Pure Luck (1991), 24.4 The Man Who Loved Women (1983), 22.5 Once Upon a Crime… (1992), 20.7 The Associate (1996), 20.6 Three Fugitives (1989), 17.2 Oscar (1991)

(So yeah, Downhill was available, but I’ve heard mostly mixed things about it instead of it actually being bad. I’m a bit shocked at how few we’ve done in the end. Looking through the ones we have done I mostly haven’t seen the original. I saw the original Haunting, Get Carter, and Jungle 2 Jungle. I think that is it. Lots of British remakes in there as well, whereas in this cycle we are mostly doing French films.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 12) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Bruce Greenwood is No. 6 billed in Fathers’ Day and No. 6 billed in Here on Earth, => (6 + 6) = 12. If we were to watch Jack, and The Glass House we can get the HoE Number down to 8.

Notes – As a cross-promotion, Warner Brothers had Robin Williams and Billy Crystal make guest appearances in Friends (1994). (It is the one with the ultimate fighting championship, I remember this actually, they take the spot in the cafe that the titular friends usually occupy for a scene)

The concert was filmed at a park in Los Angeles. The scene took three days to film, and involved playing the same song over and over for all three days. To show the energy of the crowd, the extras had to cheer and “rock” to the music. On the first day everyone was up, yelling, jumping and punching their fists in the air, but by day three, most were too tired to even lift their arms, and many just remained seated.

During the filming of the concert scene, Robin Williams took a break and walked into the bleachers, where he entertained the extras who gathered around him.

Before appearing in this film, Robin Williams and Billy Crystal were already a well-known comedy duo, thanks to their work on HBO’s Comic Relief. The original French film, on which this is based, The ComDads (1983), also features a well-known comedy team: Pierre Richard and Gérard Depardieu.

Billy Crystal’s character hates mimes in this movie. In This is Spinal Tap (1984), he played a mime (who was also in charge of other mimes).

One of two 1997 films to star Robin Williams, Billy Crystal, and Julia Louis-Dreyfus, the other being Woody Allen’s Deconstructing Harry (1997).

While shooting the scene in which Dale and Jack remove Scott’s shoes and socks, Robin Williams and Billy Crystal discovered that Charlie Hofheimer was extremely ticklish on the soles of his feet. Robin Williams and Billy Crystal could not resist tickling Charlie Hofheimer’s bare feet, and they continually ruined the scene by tickling him. Charlie could not handle the tickling and wanted to quit. Ivan Reitman had to talk him into staying so that they could finally shoot the scene.

The apartment where Dale (Robin Williams) lives in San Francisco is the same one used in Mrs Doubtfire (1993).

Awards – Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Supporting Actress (Julia Louis-Dreyfus, 1998)

My Boss’s Daughter Recap

Jamie

There was a moment where I thought My Boss’s Daughter could be a Grandma’s Boy. A film with terrible reviews that contained a bunch of funny stuff and was actually good. Then I was like, ‘nah, this ain’t that,’ and so I revised my opinion mid-movie and thought perhaps it was a Freddy Got Fingered. An interesting film that was probably actually bad, but also not as bad as the reviewers made it out to be and mostly reviled for its strangeness. But even that wasn’t quite it. Finally, after going through these stages of grief I arrived at the truth: this movie is real bad. That’s right, the film is trash. Don’t get me wrong, there are some funny jokes in there and the supporting cast consists of some of the best in comedy. But it all came down to a simple fact: they had no idea what they wanted to make. And so only about 25% of the film is any good. The rest is appallingly bad.  

To briefly touch on the plot, Tom is in love with his boss’s daughter Lisa. Tom also wants to make it big in publishing but Lisa’s dad is a big ol’ mean face. One day Lisa asks if Tom could help her out and he’s psyched, but less so once he realizes that helping her out means he’s owl-sitting for her father while she goes to a party with her BF. Hilarity ensues as everything, everyone, and every owl goes wrong. Drug deals go bad, Tom is mixed up in a murder most foul, Lisa comes home admits she thought Tom was gay, the owl gets high on cocaine and flies away, etc. etc. etc. Then Lisa’s father gets home early and Tom is fired for acting like a crazy person. But Tom has grown a spine through the ordeal and goes after Lisa, they smooch, and live happily ever after.

So yeah, it’s some real crazy stuff that doesn’t add up to much. It can’t seem to stick to a theme and falls apart under the weight of four different styles. 

  • Director David Zucker. He’s best known for his spoof movies. Indeed, I think the most successful aspects of this film are when they start to border on spoof. An owl is sucking down cocaine and running wild and I swear if they just called it The Great Owl Adventure I would have been into it. 
  • Writer David Dorfman. The writer of the film was hot off making Anger Management and making a splash in Hollywood and his voice seems to contain a bit of acid that works against the lighter, spoofier tones of Zucker. Much of it doesn’t age super well either.
  • Standard Studio Rom Com. It’s already a wild idea to pair this script with that director, but to also then shoehorn in a Tara Reid/Kutcher stereotypical love story in the middle of it? Not a single moment of Kutcher and Reid together works.  
  • Ashton Kutcher Vehicle. Kutcher was clearly on his way up. So when he gets his leading role he is giving it his all in the biggest, broadest way… even when his character reads more like a nervous Woody Allen character than Ashton Kutcher. 

You mix these four things together and it’s a stew not worth eating. When you extract The Great Owl Adventure… now I’m interested. That’s actually my Hot Take Clam Bake. Very simple: more owl=more money. I wanted to sit down thinking, ‘hmmm, just another rom com, sigh.’ Only to then perk up when I realize this isn’t a love story between Kutcher and Reid… it’s a love story between Kutcher and the owl. Fly me to the moon, owl. That hot take it ice cold, baby. Patrick?

Patrick

‘Ello everyone! My Boss’s Daughter? More like What Dross and Rotter! Amirite? I mean, yeah, if I were British … oh, wait, I am British! Let’s go!

  • There was a time not too long ago when people made unfunny garbage where the “comedy” was all gross-out and the plots all paper-thin. The era I’m sure was great for some people, and perhaps even Dimension Films. It wasn’t great for comedy. This movie is unfunny garbage.
  • Kutcher and Reid are both shockingly bad in this film. I never really thought Kutcher was a particularly good actor. He’s a bit one note, seems to lack a bit of range. But he’s particularly bad in this, presumably as it was quite early in his career (when filmed, I believe the film was shelved for years prior to release). It is actually incredible Tara Reid had a major motion picture career at all. No offense.
  • It was nice I suppose to see Andy Richter bumming around though. He’s actually pretty funny in this. But he’s also a television actor and his part isn’t nearly big enough to save the film overall.
  • Oh there were some funny jokes I suppose, mostly concerning an owl named O.J. (after O.J. Simpson) who causes quite the stir after getting high on cocaine. There is a kernel of something there in that the owl is almost always a terrible puppet/doll that Kutcher interacts with. There is something actually funny about half-assing what is (wildly) the centerpiece to the whole movie: the escape of the antagonist’s pet owl.
  • Oh, and add this to the films where the main character works in book publishing. I … don’t think they know how the book publishing world works. I’m not sure the primary job of a publisher is coming up with ideas for books … I think the authors do that. But what do I know?
  • The film definitely has a nice Product Placement (What?) for both Miller Lite and Cheetos. But other than that I think there are basically no superlatives. The film is closest to Bad, it is unfunny garbage and not interesting in any particular way beyond being a time capsule for everything bad about comedy in 2000.
  • I think I need to name this segment. Jamie likes Live Free or Die Hardcopy (soon to be a smash hit podcast I’m sure). Anyways, plenty of special features on the DVD I got from my local library. We got Bloopies (F, unfunny trash, but hey, so is the movie). We got Deleted Scenes (B, but only because it was a scene that was basically only half done and looked ridiculous). There is a making of Documentary (D, oh boy does it explain why this film is unfunny), and a (gulp) Tara Reid Audition … alright, I’m just going to stop right there for a second. They have Tara Reid get actually half-naked in her audition. Now I’m not one to presume. I’m not one to try and project my thoughts and feelings onto situations. Let’s just say … not a great look. I give the segment a (D, not a great look), and leave it at that.

You best believe I made up a sequel called My Boss’s Granddaughter. Cheerios, and back to you Jamie!

My Boss’s Daughter Quiz

Oh jeez. So get this, I was house sitting for my boss and pining for his daughter, when all of a sudden someone hit me in the head with a shovel! Now I can’t remember a thing. Do you remember what happened in My Boss’s Daughter?

Pop Quiz Hot Shot!

1) Why does Tom agree to house sit for his boss?

2) How does OJ the owl escape?

3) Why does Tara Reid think Tom is gay?

4) Why does Tara Reid think Tom cheated on him?

5) Who bails Tom out of jail?

Bonus Question: At the end of the film we smash cut even further into the future and Tom gets called into his boss’s office again. Probably for that big signing he had last week he says to his friend we haven’t seen since 15 minutes into the film. Why is he actually getting called in?

Answers

My Boss’s Daughter Preview

When the time machine settles, the crew look at each other in trepidation. What the hell just happened? One second it looked like they were gonna make it home and now… where are they? Outside appears to be none other than… “Rallston Academy?” Patrick says in disbelief. They all recognize the legendary front gates of Kelley Morse’s private high school from Here on Earth. But when they look closer the gates don’t say “Rallston” at all. They say “Hallston.” Weird. In the distance they see the husk of what was once a place called Table’s Table, now burned down. Just outside are two young men, shirtless and scarfing down some sandwiches. Just a couple of best friends without a care in the world. “No, no, no, this is all wrong! Hallston? Table’s Table? Kelley and Jasper are supposed to hate each other! We have to go back!” Jamie screams, but as he attempts to mash the buttons of the time machine he realizes that the whole thing is as burned out as Table’s Table, the local… table shop? “Maybe this is OK.” Patrick says hopefully, “See? There’s the sheriff. He’s probably going to give Kelley a real once over about dating his daughter Sam.” But after piling out of the time machine and making their way over to Table’s Table they are appalled by what they find. Not one but two sheriffs. Opposite, and yet both so against the rulez. On their chests gleam badges with the names “Bangers” and “Mash” in big gold letters. And they’re not insisting Kelley and Jasper can’t date their daughters… they’re insisting that they DO date their daughters (both of course named Sam). Jamie’s eyes are wild, looking for an escape, but Patrick stops him. “This is why we’re here,” he says calmly. That’s right! While Jamie and Patrick are dealing with some Sheriff daughter problems in another dimension, we are dealing with My Boss’s Daughter, an early 2000’s laugh riot from Dimension Films starring Ashton Kutcher. Looks like a hoot (spoiler alert). Let’s go!

My Boss’s Daughter (2003) – BMeTric: 68.5; Notability: 43

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 3.6%; Notability: top 15.6%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 3.4%; Higher BMeT: The Room, Gigli, House of the Dead, The Cat in the Hat, Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd, From Justin to Kelly, Kangaroo Jack, Legally Blonde 2: Red, White & Blonde; Higher Notability: The Matrix Revolutions, Bad Boys II, Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star, The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, Brother Bear, Scary Movie 3, Timeline, Hollywood Homicide, Gods and Generals, Tears of the Sun, The Cat in the Hat, Paycheck, The Haunted Mansion, Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life, Cradle 2 the Grave, Duplex, Wonderland, Agent Cody Banks, The Jungle Book 2, Dreamcatcher, and 19 more; Lower RT: Dorm Daze, The Foreigner, Hangman’s Curse, Gold Diggers, House of the Dead, Gigli, Kangaroo Jack, From Justin to Kelly; Notes: Wow, still three pretty excellently bad films left from 2000 with a higher BMeTric. This is a very high BMeTric. Not surprising, just a bit off the radar since I can’t think of another time I thought of doing this film. Really high Notability for a comedy as well I think.

Leonard Maltin – BOMB –  Smitten with the title girl of his dreams (Reid), Kutcher is trapped into house-sitting for her wealthy father, a clean-freak who warns him against letting the inevitable happen: the thorough trashing of the family mansion. The leads have no chemistry in this trendily crude comedy that makes a short running time seem longer than the uncut Greed. This sat on the shelf for a couple of years before being dumped on the market.

(Greed is a 1924 film by Erich von Strodhein based on the novel McTeague. The original cut was nearly 9 hours long, but is now lost, sometimes claimed to be the greatest film ever made (at least by that time). A four hour reconstruction was created in 1999. Oh … this film? It looks like trash, but amazing that Leonard pulls in a ref to Greed while reviewing My Boss’s Daughter starring Tara Reid.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0kubIMUboWs/

(The music! Oh boy they spoil the only good joke in the film with the owl names OJ after OJ Simpson while being oblivious to him being accused of murder. And yeah, looks like unfunny garbage of course.)

DirectorsDavid Zucker – ( Known For: Airplane!; The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad!; Top Secret!; BASEketball; The Naked Gun 2½: The Smell of Fear; Ruthless People; Future BMT: Scary Movie 3; Scary Movie 4; An American Carol; BMT: Scary Movie V; My Boss’s Daughter; Notes: Nominated for an Emmy for Police Squad! As is obvious he was the BIG name in spoof films in the 80s, but ultimately his career craters in the 90s.)

WritersDavid Dorfman – ( Known For: Anger Management; BMT: My Boss’s Daughter; Notes: I forgot that they made an Anger Management television series starring Charlie Sheen a few years ago.)

ActorsAshton Kutcher – ( Known For: No Strings Attached; Spread; Open Season; Guess Who; A Lot Like Love; Bobby; Personal Effects; Coming Soon; Future BMT: The Butterfly Effect; Annie; Dude, Where’s My Car?; Just Married; Reindeer Games; BMT: Cheaper by the Dozen; Killers; The Guardian; What Happens in Vegas; New Year’s Eve; Valentine’s Day; Jobs; Down to You; My Boss’s Daughter; Texas Rangers; Razzie Notes: Winner for Worst Actor in 2011 for Killers, and Valentine’s Day; Nominee for Worst Actor in 2004 for Cheaper by the Dozen, Just Married, and My Boss’s Daughter; and in 2014 for Jobs; and Nominee for Worst Screen Couple for What Happens in Vegas in 2009; Notes: His last feature film that actually came out was in 2014. He seems like he is basically a venture capitalist at this point. He does have a few different films slated to come out in the next few years though.)

Tara Reid – ( Known For: American Pie; The Big Lebowski; American Pie 2; Cruel Intentions; American Reunion; The Hungover Games; Josie and the Pussycats; The Crow: Wicked Prayer; A Return to Salem’s Lot; Body Shots; Dr. T & the Women; Ouija House; Charlie’s Farm; Girl; Last Call; Devil’s Pond; I Woke Up Early the Day I Died; The Fields; Knots; Andy the Talking Hedgehog; Future BMT: Van Wilder; Just Visiting; BMT: Urban Legend; Alone in the Dark; My Boss’s Daughter; Notes: Her brother has his own production company. She’s basically just in terrible non-films like Sharknado now.)

Andy Richter – ( Known For: The Secret Life of Walter Mitty; Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby; Madagascar; Marcel the Shell with Shoes On; Blades of Glory; Elf; Penguins of Madagascar; Madagascar 3: Europe’s Most Wanted; Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa; The Cat Returns; Big Trouble; Dr. Dolittle 2; Girlfriend’s Day; Cabin Boy; Run Ronnie Run; Dr. T & the Women; Lenny the Wonder Dog; Seeing Other People; The Thin Pink Line; Frank McKlusky, C.I.; Future BMT: Scary Movie 2; Semi-Pro; Pootie Tang; Aliens in the Attic; BMT: New York Minute; My Boss’s Daughter; Notes: Long time co-host for Conan, he had quite a few television shows of his own, including Andy Barker P.I. As part of Conan he was nominated for seven Emmy awards, although never won.)

Budget/Gross – $14,000,000 / Domestic: $15,550,605 (Worldwide: $18,191,005)

(I mean, that is terrible. No wonder we never got that hotly anticipated sequel to My Boss’s Daughter. That would have definitely been My Boss’s Granddaughter right?)

Rotten Tomatoes – 8% (6/74): Offensive, incoherent, and ineptly acted and directed.

(Oh boy. Offensive is the worst. How many slurs do you think I hear while watching this film. Over/under an even dozen?)

Reviewer Highlight: Zucker … directs this mess like a substitute teacher soldiering through a day’s work for a day’s pay at a decertified school. – Lisa Schwarzbaum, Entertainment Weekly

Poster – Tom Stanfield’s Great Owl Adventure

(This is like a poster for a kids movie… but worse. I dare say nothing about this is good other than the fact that it doesn’t burn my eyes like acid. D-.)

Tagline(s) – There are some things you just don’t do. (D+)

(Oh boy… I mean this one hurts. No, I understand it. It’s just really a poor choice aesthetically. It honestly doesn’t even work in the way that they want it to. Like I think it’s one of those taglines where you are meant to read it along with the title and they mix together to create a beautiful stew. But the “you” in the tagline and the “My” in the title are like oil and water. Boooooo. There is just enough cleverness here to save it from really basement level stuff, but barely.)

Keyword(s) – dimension

Top 10: Sin City (2005), Spectre (2015), The Others (2001), Scream (1996), Equilibrium (2002), From Dusk Till Dawn (1996), The Mist (2007), Death Proof (2007), 1408 (2007), Scary Movie (2000)

Future BMT: 86.5 The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl 3-D (2005), 82.8 Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World (2011), 77.4 Who’s Your Caddy? (2007), 76.9 Superhero Movie (2008), 70.6 Halloween II (2009), 70.1 Black Christmas (2006), 68.6 Pulse (2006), 66.9 The Crow: City of Angels (1996), 64.9 Scary Movie 4 (2006), 61.8 Cursed (2005)

BMT: Scary Movie V (2013), Halloween: Resurrection (2002), Highlander: The Final Dimension (1994), Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers (1995), My Boss’s Daughter (2003), Highlander: Endgame (2000), Dracula 2000 (2000), Hellraiser: Bloodline (1996), Air Bud: Golden Receiver (1998), Phantoms (1998), Texas Rangers (2001), Mindhunters (2004)

Best Options (Comedy): 86.5 The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl 3-D (2005), 82.8 Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World (2011), 77.4 Who’s Your Caddy? (2007), 76.9 Superhero Movie (2008), 68.6 My Boss’s Daughter (2003), 64.9 Scary Movie 4 (2006), 61.8 Cursed (2005), 58.6 Scary Movie 2 (2001), 55.3 Fame (2009), 51.4 Scary Movie 3 (2003), 49.3 Teaching Mrs. Tingle (1999), 44.6 Boys and Girls (2000), 41.7 Bad Santa 2 (2016), 37.0 The Brothers Grimm (2005), 35.3 I Got the Hook Up (1998), 33.1 School for Scoundrels (2006), 30.5 Gunmen (1993), 27.3 Senseless (1998), 18.2 Don’t Be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood (1996)

(And there we are again, hitting up probably the best actual film for the category. Who’s Your Caddy is like a fake film. Really cleaning up that ‘00 to ‘05 era of Dimension.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 15) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Tara Reid is No. 2 billed in My Boss’s Daughter and No. 6 billed in Urban Legend, which also stars Alicia Witt (No. 1 billed) who is in 88 Minutes (No. 2 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (2 + 6) + (1 + 2) + (3 + 1) = 15. If we were to watch Must Love Dogs, and The Glass House we can get the HoE Number down to 14.

Notes – The 16 March 2001 draft of the screenplay lists David Zucker and Peter Tilden as writers. Tilden is not credited in the final film and Zucker only receives a directing credit.

Awards – Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Actor (Ashton Kutcher, 2004)

How High Recap

Jamie

It’s not that bad! It’s not that bad! Boy oh boy, as Patrick implies it’s not common for me and him to disagree about films, at least to a significant degree, but I guess I was in the mood for a real dumbo stoner flick cause I dug this movie. I could almost end my review there, cause I simply had a good time watching Method Man and Redman joke around about taking Harvard by storm. Is there a story? Not really. Does anything make sense? Obviously not. Is it structured like a coherent narrative? Not in the least. Are all the scenes with the improving pimps unnecessary and terrible? For sure. Did it matter to me? Nope.

The very concept of this film falls into the category of “how the hell did they make and release this film.” It’s kind of hard to explain but I’ll try to be concise. Essentially, Method Man is a botanist and after his friend dies he grows some weed using the dude’s ashes. When he then shows up to a college admissions test he meets Redman and they smoke the weed. It’s good. So good that the dude’s ghost shows up and gives them all the answers to the test. Harvard comes a-knockin’ and by the time they are in college (and getting hounded by the straight-laced nerd-alert dean) the narrative falls apart and you just need to know that they are trying to get a couple of gals and stay in school. So why did I like it so much? I’m going to give you my ranked list of the five craziest things that happened in the film:

  1. In a poorly aged sequence, we see Method Man and Redman decide they need to get some ladies. They find some coeds on campus who seem enchanted by them and proceed to have sex. Why is this crazy? We then cut over to their roommates filming them, followed by a sequence where they sell the tapes on campus. Gross and crazy it made the cut. 
  2. Redman woos the daughter of the Vice President. It’s not all that crazy other than imagining the writers being like “the daughter of the President is obviously not realistic. Let’s make her the daughter of the VP instead.”
  3. At the big climactic alumni party the gang gets everyone high on the special weed and demonstrates that Benjamin Franklin’s newly discovered artifact is not a cannon like they thought, but a giant bong. When everyone doesn’t believe them the ghost of Benjamin Franklin shows up and is like “Yup, it’s true” and that’s how they win the day. 
  4. The Dean is named Dean Cain. Like for real.
  5. Realizing they are going to flunk out of school without their special weed they decide they need to smoke a different dead guy. Who is buried on campus? Check out President John Quincy Adams. From there we get a full ten minutes of them digging up JQA, pulling a gross hyperrealistic corpse out, dragging it across campus as their friend pukes all over the place, and then scenes of them trying to break apart, mash up, and smoke the corpse. It… is… insane, and also hilarious.

And that’s not even mentioning the bicycle scene. It’s just funny. It is. You can’t deny it. Patrick?

Patrick

‘Ello everyone! How High? More like How Low? Amirite? I think you guys are in for a bit of a treat, because I think this is a rare BMT moment where Jamie and I kind of disagree. Let’s go!

  • The tale of two movies for me. I thought the first hour of the film was not very funny, mostly weird, and kind of boring. But guess what? The last thirty minutes did a lot to save it. I laughed out loud several times throughout the climax of the film, which indeed left a somewhat better impression.
  • But I still maintain that while the set of the film is interesting, that first hour isn’t actually very funny. It is mostly annoying. But, of course, one could chalk it up to me not really being the audience for the film. Like … is it any more dumb than Hot Rod? No. And yet I find that movie A+ hilarious.
  • A very rare appearance of the actress who played Lisa Turtle in a feature film.
  • Method Man is actually a good actor, but we all knew this anyways.
  • Anything involving the two pimps (including Mike Epps who we just saw in Next Day Air) and the two ladies who Silas and Jamal secretly film (yup, gross) is terrible.
  • I’m actually a bit confused by the student villain character Bart. There is basically no pay off regarding him. He ultimately still goes to Harvard and is still an asshole at the end of the film. The character is basically the same as Richard Bagg from Van Wilder, but in Van Wilder they really really really give him a comeuppance (disproportionate to how terrible he really was, it is kind of nuts), whereas here they kind of just forget about him in favor of destroying Dean Carl Cain instead.
  • If there is only reason to watch this film it is for the scene where they dig up John Quincy Adams’s corpse. That is the level of absurdity I wish the rest of the film consistently had.
  • A definite Planchet (Who?) for Jeffrey, the frat-pledging roommate of Silas and Jamal who they beat up and demean throughout the film. Solid Setting as a Character (Where?) for Massachusetts as the film is definitely set at Harvard University. And naturally why not throw in Worst Twist (How?) for the inevitable reveal of Ben Franklin’s bong. Closest to BMT for me dawg.

There is actually a sequel to this film which came out on streaming a few years ago which, truly, has nothing to do with this original film. Which is sad. They even set up a sweet sequel where they would live in the White House! I may or may not have outlined this sequel in the Quiz. Although it also may or may not have devolved into a knock off of the original xXx.

Cheerios,

The Sklogs

How High Quiz

Oh man, so get this. I was blazing it (natch) and now I can’t remember a thing. That’s it, just plum forgot what this movie was about. Do you remember what happened in How High?

Pop Quiz Hot Shot!

1) Why does Silas, a natural healing focused weed dealer, want to go to college? What about Jamal?

2) How do our two heroes meet and end up smashing the THCs?

3) Why does Jamal join the crew team?

4) Bart’s girlfriend Lauren is well on her way to becoming Silas’ girlfriend. Throughout the film she is seen studying some old American artifacts. Who does she think the artifacts are from?

5) What did everyone think the thing that Lisa Turtle discovered was, and what did it actually turn out to be?

Bonus Question: After the bloopies reel (not joking) you might have just missed the mid-credits scene where we learn the results of the election! So who won?

Answers

How High Preview

Just as Jamie and Patrick prepare to lock hands and launch into their patented Flying Twin Kick, they are shocked to see little Mikey Myers turn unexpectedly on his adult counterpart and punch him swiftly in the groin. Eyes crossed, Adult Mikey groans hilariously and falls face first on the ground. Jamie and Patrick laugh uncontrollably at the hilarious violence and LePumice claps Young Mikey on the back just as Adult Mikey lapses into unconsciousness. “I’m not sure I understand,” Jamie says after recovering from his laughing fit. Patrick, though, is quicker on the uptake, “Don’t you see? We helped out Young Mikey by having our Young selves apologize and befriend him, but the dastardly Adult Mikey is still set in the future, which has a different past. It’s just time travel 101.” Young Mikey nods his head and continues, “When you arrived in town I was shocked. It was just like Adult me said, except… different. You were… good” He takes a look over at the unconscious older version of himself. “Before you go I do have one question. How did you know it started with me?” Jamie and Patrick look at each other. Know? But they didn’t know. They shake their heads in confusion and Mikey understands. “I guess we’ll just have to find out… in the future. Now go. Go before I change my mind!” With that he throws small rocks at Jamie, Patrick and LePumice with tears streaming down his face. They all climb into the time machine and Jamie asks how far in the future they should travel. But Patrick shakes his head and points at the date already entered in the time machine by an unknown ally. “It’s not how far, it’s how high.” Jamie’s eyes widen in recognition of the date. That’s right, we are watching the classic stoner comedy How High starring Method Man and Redman. Once of the crazier plots I can remember reading so should be fun. Let’s go!

How High (2001) – BMeTric: 26.2; Notability: 41

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 25.6%; Notability: top 16.4%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 24.9%; Higher BMeT: Glitter, Jason X, Freddy Got Fingered, Driven, The Animal, Ghosts of Mars, Black Knight, Valentine, Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles, Soul Survivors, Monkeybone, The Musketeer, Corky Romano, Scary Movie 2, The Wedding Planner, Bones, Summer Catch, The Order, Say It Isn’t So, The Wash, and 44 more; Higher Notability: Pearl Harbor, Monkeybone, Lara Croft: Tomb Raider, Hannibal, Impostor, Ghosts of Mars, Not Another Teen Movie, Bubble Boy, Swordfish, 15 Minutes, The One, Town & Country, The Affair of the Necklace, Scary Movie 2, I Am Sam, America’s Sweethearts, Along Came a Spider, Perfume, Texas Rangers, Joe Dirt, and 21 more; Lower RT: Texas Rangers, Soul Survivors, Glitter, All the Queen’s Men, Corky Romano, The Forsaken, Summer Catch, The Wash, Out Cold, Say It Isn’t So, Joe Dirt, Head Over Heels, Megiddo: The Omega Code 2, What’s the Worst That Could Happen?, Freddy Got Fingered, Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles, Perfume, The Musketeer, Double Take, Valentine, and 40 more; Notes: That rating is so high (appropriately I suppose). It is a very niche comedy I suppose. The Notability is crazy high as well. For a comedy in 2001 I feel like 40+ is much much higher than I would expect.

Leonard Maltin – 2 stars –  With Willard playing the chancellor of Harvard and Bob Dylan’s son directing, this rare Ivy League stoner comedy has a curio advantage going in. Film’s rapper leads play goof-offs who finesse their entrance exams by smoking the mind-expanding ashes of a dead friend. (Who says the spirit of Lubitsch is dead?) Movie has enough low-grade laughs to sustain its length, though there have probably been cockfights with more redeeming social value.

(Zing. I actually don’t really get the Lubitsch reference. He was a director, particularly for “comedy of manners.” So is smoking their friend a commentary on … something? Is it the ritual of college entrance exams, and the manner in which our heroes sidestep it, some sort of satire? Or am I just not understanding at all what Leonard is talking about?)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wN9MScUbMng/

(Huh. The film seems somewhat … incoherent, maybe? I can’t tell what the storyline is. They go to Harvard and … something something something? For real, it seems like one of those rare “one act structure” films.)

DirectorsJesse Dylan – ( Known For: American Wedding; Kicking & Screaming; BMT: How High; Notes: Naturally, given Bob Dylan is his father, he started in music videos. He appears to have returned to those in his later career and he really hasn’t directed much in the last 10 years.)

WritersDustin Lee Abraham – ( Known For: The Runner; BMT: How High; Notes: He wrote 26 episodes of CSI over the years. He too hasn’t really done much in the last 10 years, and really this is his only feature work, The Runner is a small film that wasn’t theatrically released.)

ActorsMethod Man – ( Known For: Last Looks; Trainwreck; Garden State; Cop Land; Jay and Silent Bob Reboot; Paterson; Keanu; Red Tails; This Is the Night; Venom; The Cobbler; Concrete Cowboy; The Wackness; Future World; Vampires vs. the Bronx; Staten Island Summer; Where’s the Money; Sinners and Saints; The Mortician; Love Beats Rhymes; Future BMT: Peppermint; Scary Movie 3; Belly; The Sitter; Soul Plane; One Eight Seven; Black & White; My Baby’s Daddy; BMT: Shaft; Meet the Spartans; How High; Notes: Part of the Wu-Tang Clan, he’s become a fairly accomplished actor. I could have sworn we watched The Cobbler for BMT (as a friend or something), but I think actually that was just because it was nominated for a Razzie one year. He’s kind of good in that.)

Redman – ( Known For: Jay and Silent Bob Reboot; Ride; Boricua’s Bond; Future BMT: Scary Movie 3; Seed of Chucky; BMT: How High; Notes: Not part of the Wu-Tang Clan although he was close with them and worked with Method Man a lot.)

Obba Babatundé – ( Known For: The Silence of the Lambs; The Notebook; Philadelphia; That Thing You Do!; Life; City of Lies; The Net; The Manchurian Candidate; Black Dynamite; Dead Again; Lap Dance; Multiplicity; Married to the Mob; Necronomicon: Book of Dead; The Watcher; The Wild Thornberrys; Miami Blues; Kinky; The Celestine Prophecy; A Reason to Believe; Future BMT: John Q; After the Sunset; The Eye; Undercover Blues; Carpool; Born to Be Wild; BMT: How High; Material Girls; Leonard Part 6; Notes: Been in a bunch of stuff recently on television like SWAT. Was nominated for an Emmy for Miss Evers’ Boys. He won a Daytime Emmy for a guest appearance on The Bold and the Beautiful.)

Budget/Gross – $20,000,000 / Domestic: $31,178,740 (Worldwide: $31,283,740)

(Actually not that bad. I can’t imagine why the film cost $20 million. If it was just slightly cheaper it would have been a resounding success.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 26% (15/57): How High is a sloppily constructed stoner movie filled with lame, vulgar jokes.

(Yeah that sounds about right. The number of quite good reviews though is pretty stunning. This isn’t too far off from something like Hot Rod for example.)

Reviewer Highlight: The biggest problem, ironically, is that even though the plot and the action center on smoking pot, it’s not enough of a stoner flick. – Joan Anderman, Boston Globe

Poster – How Shy Guy

(Almost looks like a poster for an independent film. All over the place, though. I enjoy the font and artsy. Not all bad, but some weird choices. C+.)

Tagline(s) – They’ve got their degrees all rolled up. (Incomplete)

(They’ve… got their degrees… all rolled up… I can’t say I understand this one. Am I missing a pun? Is it a play on “wrapped up?” Is that it? That they’ve got the degrees wrapped up by rolling up and smoking some joints?)

Keyword(s) – stoner

Top 10: The King of Staten Island (2020), The Big Lebowski (1998), Kick-Ass (2010), Dazed and Confused (1993), Point Break (1991), Fast Times at Ridgemont High (1982), Friday (1995), Knocked Up (2007), Road Trip (2000), Sausage Party (2016)

Future BMT: 70.2 Soul Plane (2004), 51.3 Dude, Where’s My Car? (2000), 50.7 Your Highness (2011), 39.5 21 & Over (2013), 38.5 The Perfect Score (2004), 38.1 Without a Paddle (2004), 37.6 Encino Man (1992), 36.4 Still Smokin (1983), 26.4 Knockaround Guys (2001), 25.5 Idle Hands (1999)

BMT: Good Luck Chuck (2007), Scary Movie V (2013), I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (1998), How High (2001), Bio-Dome (1996), Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare (1991), The Rage: Carrie 2 (1999)

Matches: Knocked Up (2007), Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle (2004), The Beach Bum (2019), Dude, Where’s My Car? (2000), American Ultra (2015), How High (2001), Highway (2002), Halloweed (2016), High Society: A Pot Boiler (2009), Asockalypse! (2016), Get Bossy (2020), Stone & Ed (2008), Secret Agent 420 (2005), Night of the Alien (2011), Generation Y (2016), The Rise of the Robots (2015), Attack of the Psychedelic Zombies, Man! (2015)

(That sounds about right, the acceptance of weed as something to be joked about instead of feared does seem to be around 2000ish. The Big Lebowski is possibly an inciting incident.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 19) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Héctor Elizondo is No. 8 billed in How High and No. 4 billed in Turbulence, which also stars Ray Liotta (No. 1 billed) who is in In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (No. 2 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (8 + 4) + (1 + 2) + (3 + 1) = 19. If we were to watch My Baby’s Daddy, and Double Take we can get the HoE Number down to 15.

Notes – The film’s sequences at “Harvard” were actually shot at UCLA.

In creating the sound for the mystical pot plant (Ivory), sound designer Andrew Somers (uncredited) used a Theremin and a set of Obsidian Chimes. For the sound of the giant bong, (and the sound of Ivory appearing) they recorded inhaling through an actual bong.

Dean Cain is a reference to Dean Cain the actor who played Superman.

The film is named after the hit 1995 hip hop song How High by the starring duo Method Man and Redman.

Tracy Morgan cameos as the baseballer in ghost form a la field of dreams. (And in the commercials at the beginning of the film).

Next Day Air Preview

“Curses is right, LePumice,” Adult Mikey sneers and with that launches into a stirring explanation of exactly how we arrived at this moment in time and space. You see, Mikey was just your ordinary kid. But when he got that fish in his overalls it started a cascade of familial disaster resulting in his parents’ entry into a life of illegal gambling. Learning the tricks of probability and statistics from the blackjack tables he got into MIT and made his way to the World Police Academy, a secret cabal of conspirators designed to avert global disaster. There he headed the Obsidian Dongle Destruction Team (ODDT) which was tasked with destroying the most powerful object on Earth. But Mikey had different ideas. Instead of destroying it maybe they could steer it into the hands of unwitting egotistical nincompoops. Every time the power of the Dongle corrupted and Mikey was there to replace the useful idiots with the next in line. All so eventually Mikey could suggest the candidates he wanted: Jamie and Patrick, the now world famous Bad Movie Twins. “You proved quite adept at protecting the Dongle. Almost destroyed it a couple times even, that would have been a shame. And even more surprising, when it came time for my plan to bear fruit you were nowhere to be seen. Lost in time thanks to your uncanny ability to gain friends from foes.” With that he shakes his head at LePumice. “Fortunately we had time on our hands and we spent it building a Time Cop Academy to go back and stop whatever you were up to. Now we’re here, and now you’ll die.” With that he and the younger Mikey get into fighting stances. Jamie and Patrick reciprocate and drop their world famous catchphrase: “Let’s fly,” That’s right! We’re transitioning to the next cycle of the year with Next Day Air. This film is short and sweet and features Mos Def, which is perfect since this cycle will feature different Hip Hop artists-turned-actors in each film. Let’s go!

Next Day Air (2009) – BMeTric: 29.9; Notability: 22

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 24.8%; Notability: top 32.4%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 16.6%; Higher BMeT: Dragonball Evolution, Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li, Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel, The Twilight Saga: New Moon, S. Darko, Stan Helsing, Halloween II, Year One, The Unborn, All About Steve, Did You Hear About the Morgans?, Bitch Slap, Obsessed, Madea Goes to Jail, Paul Blart: Mall Cop, The Final Destination, G-Force, Miss March, Land of the Lost, Sorority Row, and 42 more; Higher Notability: Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, 2012, Angels & Demons, X-Men Origins: Wolverine, G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra, Terminator Salvation, The Lovely Bones, Nine, Fast & Furious, Confessions of a Shopaholic, Halloween II, Surrogates, G-Force, The Twilight Saga: New Moon, Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel, Fanboys, Fame, Land of the Lost, Bride Wars, Crossing Over, and 61 more; Lower RT: Labor Pains, Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li, Miss March, Old Dogs, All About Steve, Whiteout, Beyond a Reasonable Doubt, Echelon Conspiracy, Post Grad, My Life in Ruins, Malice in Wonderland, The Unborn, Couples Retreat, Bride Wars, The Cry of the Owl, Did You Hear About the Morgans?, The Stepfather, S. Darko, The Pink Panther 2, I Love You, Beth Cooper, and 20 more; Notes: That is a shockingly large drop from IMDb for this film, I guess the super fans loved it. Look at those BMeT films, 2009 was a wild time.

RogerEbert.com – 3.0 stars – “Next Day Air” is a bloody screwball comedy, a film of high spirits. It tells a complicated story with acute timing and clarity, and gives us drug-dealing lowlifes who are almost poetic in their clockwork dialogue. By that I mean they not only use the words, they know the music.

(WOW. Three out of four is nothing to scoff at. Ebert himself did, especially later in his career, start to heavily subscribe to the concept of being “good for what it is intending to be.” And this review excerpt is overflowing with that concept. They went for something and did it and films that do something interesting should be celebrated. Shocking to see that concept applied to Next Day Air though.)

Trailer –  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tZeGUlbyYHU/ 

(Alright … well having seen the film there is something crazy about this trailer. Faison and Mos Def aren’t really in the film all that much. Mos Def is in it for maybe 5 minutes. And Faison for 15-30 in total (I’m not joking). That whole drug dealer storyline? That is actually the main storyline. They legit show both of the scenes Mos Def is in, he’s only in two, how is he the top billed actor?!)

DirectorsBenny Boom – ( Future BMT: All Eyez on Me; BMT: Next Day Air; Notes: Directs a lot of television these days including 6 episodes of Black Lightning. Also a huge music video director which is where he got his start.)

WritersBlair Cobbs – ( BMT: Next Day Air; Notes: Basically nothing about him on IMDb. According to Variety his nickname is Butta.)

ActorsYasiin Bey – ( Known For: The Italian Job; The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy; Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby; Monster’s Ball; Begin Again; Cadillac Records; Life of Crime; 16 Blocks; Brown Sugar; The Woodsman; Be Kind Rewind; The Hard Way; I’m Still Here; Bamboozled; Journey to the End of the Night; Civil Brand; Tour de France; Island of the Dead; Where’s Marlowe?; Future BMT: Showtime; BMT: Next Day Air; Notes: Birth name Dante Smith, I knew him primarily as Mos Def, but he changed his name to Yasiin Bey in 2011. He was a major rapper-turned-actor and appeared a few times on Chappelle’s Show.)

Mike Epps – ( Known For: The Hangover; Faster; Hancock; Girls Trip; Dolemite Is My Name; Uncle Drew; Acts of Violence; The Last Black Man in San Francisco; Term Life; Guess Who; Troop Zero; Something New; Dr. Dolittle 2; School Dance; Mac & Devin Go to High School; Roll Bounce; Love Jacked; The Fighting Temptations; Sparkle; Soul Men; Future BMT: The Hangover Part III; Malibu’s Most Wanted; Resident Evil: Apocalypse; Next Friday; Resident Evil: Extinction; How High; Friday After Next; All About the Benjamins; Welcome Home, Roscoe Jenkins; Meet the Blacks; Lottery Ticket; Bait; 3 Strikes; The Honeymooners; BMT: Death Wish; Fifty Shades of Black; Next Day Air; Notes: Started as a comedian on Def Comedy Jam, he quickly transitioned to acting and most recently was in the new show Winning Time: The Rise of the Lakers Dynasty. He is not related to Omar Epps.)

Donald Faison – ( Known For: Pitch Perfect; Clueless; Remember the Titans; 12 Monkeys; Can’t Hardly Wait; Game Over, Man!; Juice; The Wave; Big Fat Liar; Josie and the Pussycats; Waiting to Exhale; Little Evil; Embattled; Something New; Wish I Was Here; Let’s Kill Ward’s Wife; Good Boy; New Jersey Drive; Double Whammy; Homie Spumoni; Future BMT: Kick-Ass 2; Uptown Girls; The Perfect Match; Sugar Hill; Trippin’; King’s Ransom; BMT: Skyline; Next Day Air; Notes: Definitely most notably Turk on Scrubs. Apparently his current wife was the assistant to Jessica Simpson for at least a little bit.)

Budget/Gross – $3 million / Domestic: $10,027,047 (Worldwide: $10,172,519)

(Actually not bad at all. For such a low budget a lower figure directed to a small audience seems fine. I wonder if they just didn’t really set up for sequels or what. It would seem to me that a sequel would make sense if they can make it for $3 million.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 21% (14/66): Rife with half-baked jokes and excessive violence, Next Day Air is an uninspired stoner comedy.

(Yeah, the violence seemed to be a particular sticking point for a lot of critics. The theme generally seems like it is going for a farce where the real-life consequences of drug-dealing are actually happening.)

Reviewer Highlight: In the end, it’s a fitfully amusing, sloppy comedy that doesn’t work very hard for your 10 bucks. – Dan Kols, Washington Post

Poster – Next Day Sklog

(Mos Def being front and center on the poster is insanity. Don’t love the whole look of it, but the framing is cool and obviously the font is banging. I think overall pretty good, but needed to tie it all together a little better. B+.)

Tagline(s) – It’s all in the delivery. (D)

(Booooo, this is obviously a phrase and it’s being manipulated for the poster, but my god, at least try to have it means something in the context of the film. Just because there is a common phrase with the word “delivery” in it doesn’t mean it has to be your tagline.)

Keyword(s) – cocaine

Top 10: The Wolf of Wall Street (2013), Pulp Fiction (1994), Forrest Gump (1994), American Psycho (2000), Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard (2021), Goodfellas (1990), Sicario (2015), The Departed (2006), Léon: The Professional (1994), Deadpool 2 (2018)

Future BMT: 69.0 Showgirls (1995), 64.7 Sex Tape (2014), 60.1 Hot Tub Time Machine 2 (2015), 59.8 The Mod Squad (1999), 59.2 Corky Romano (2001), 58.7 Stay Alive (2006), 57.7 The Counselor (2013), 49.4 Showtime (2002), 46.7 Delta Force 2: The Colombian Connection (1990), 43.0 Sleepless (2017)

BMT: Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard (2021), Dirty Grandpa (2016), Crank (2006), Punisher: War Zone (2008), Sliver (1993), Tango & Cash (1989), Sabotage (2014), A Haunted House (2013), Friday the 13th: A New Beginning (1985), Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989), Hot Pursuit (2015), A Haunted House 2 (2014), Trespass (2011), Next Day Air (2009), Never Die Alone (2004)

Matches: Goodfellas (1990), Boogie Nights (1997), True Romance (1993), Magnolia (1999), Horrible Bosses (2011), Dallas Buyers Club (2013), Blow (2001), Pain & Gain (2013), Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me (1992), London (2005), The Last Seduction (1994), Contraband (2012), Running with the Devil (2019), Paid in Full (2002), Kill the Messenger (2014), Sleepless (2017), CrissCross (1992), A Very Harold & Kumar Christmas (2011), Puncture (2011), Descent (2007), Clean and Sober (1988), Next Day Air (2009), The Boost (1988), Down to the Bone (2004), Journey to the End of the Night (2006), Ten Violent Women (1982), Pineapple (2008), Ambushed (2013), The Preppie Connection (2015), Dirty Hands (2014), Jimmy and Judy (2006), Torchlight (1985), Cocaine Wars (1985)

(Yup … Showgirls does have a lot of cocaine. It is depressing that I’ve already seen Sex Tape and will likely have to see it again at some point in my life. It is not a funny movie.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 26) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Donald Faison is No. 2 billed in Next Day Air and No. 4 billed in Skyline, which also stars Eric Balfour (No. 1 billed) who is in The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (No. 5 billed) which also stars Jessica Biel (No. 1 billed) who is in New Year’s Eve (No. 4 billed) which also stars Robert De Niro (No. 1 billed) who is in Righteous Kill (No. 1 billed) which also stars Al Pacino (No. 2 billed) who is in 88 Minutes (No. 1 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (2 + 4) + (1 + 5) + (1 + 4) + (1 + 1) + (2 + 1) + (3 + 1) = 26. If we were to watch Sugar Hill, Murder at 1600, and The Glass House we can get the HoE Number down to 14.

Notes – It was widely reported that during the filming of a scene in the movie between the characters of Mike Epps and Omari Hardwick, an altercation between the two ensued and escalated, causing Mike Epps to leave the set threatening Omari Hardwick, shouting he was going to his car in the parking lot to retrieve his gun and was going to come back and “handle” Hardwick. Darius McCrary, who was also an actor on the set, is credited with calming Epps down and de-escalating the situation, as he followed Epps to the parking lot to talk him out of it.

Shipped to theaters under the code name “Express”.