Senseless Preview

Kyle and Rachel explain how once Lou Cash had told them what happened and gave them Patrick’s note, then convinced him to give them a time machine of their own. They traveled for fifteen years in search of Jamie and Patrick, falling in love and having a family in the process. Eventually they found the HoE dimension and their time machine burned out. “That was six years ago, I think,” says Kyle, looking fondly at his family. Patrick shakes his head in confusion. “But why did you follow us?” he asks, “I told you specifically not to in the note.” Now it’s Kyle’s turn to be confused. He pulls out the notes and shows them. On it are just two words, ‘Follow us.’ Patrick huffs in frustration and snatches the notes away. “This thing is covered in chocolate, Kyle,” he says while wiping the note clean, “you left this note all covered in chocolate for fifteen years.” With that he reveals the true message of the note: ‘Dearest Kyle, I told Lou Cash to give you this note when the time is right. He’ll know that that is when we’ve been lost to time, perhaps trapped in an alternate dimension. Please follow these instructions to the word: 1. Destroy the Dongle. I’ve long held the suspicion that only one true of heart can destroy it and that you are that person. Where others are bent by the immense power of the Dongle, it will crumble in your hands. 2. Do not come after us. 3. Ask Rachel out, you dummy. You’ll be forever with us. BMT.’ But only two words had remained once the note fell into Kyle’s chocolatey hands: ‘follow’ and ‘us.’ Jamie laughs softly at the senseless tragedy of the lives destroyed by Kyle’s love of chocolate. That’s right, we are getting senseless ourselves by watching the Marlon Wayans classic, Senseless. I saw this ages ago and don’t remember a thing except there was a part that involved a glow in the dark hamster or something. What can I say, I liked amnimals when I was a kid and so that’s the only part that stuck with me. But I’m no longer a kid. I’m a man! Let’s go!

Senseless (1998) – BMeTric: 27.5; Notability: 59

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 20.0%; Notability: top 4.0%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 3.4%; Higher BMeT: The Avengers, Psycho, I Still Know What You Did Last Summer, Species II, 3 Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mountain, The Patriot, Lost in Space, Holy Man, Knock Off, Ringmaster, Godzilla, Major League: Back to the Minors, Air Bud: Golden Receiver, Jack Frost, Legionnaire, Home Fries, Barney’s Great Adventure, Phantoms, Urban Legend, Strangeland, and 30 more; Higher Notability: Armageddon, Godzilla, Lost in Space, 54, Patch Adams, U.S. Marshals, Soldier, Deep Rising, Jack Frost, Mercury Rising; Lower RT: 3 Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mountain, Slappy and the Stinkers, A Murder of Crows, Dead Man’s Curve, Caught Up, The Avengers, Almost Heroes, Tarzan and the Lost City; Notes: How is the notability so high? This is a weird comedy from the late-90s, and it is like Mercury Rising level of notability? Also, read the films with lower Rotten Tomatoes scores … we’ve seen one of those. That is wild wild stuff.

RogerEbert.com – 2.5 stars – Penelope Spheeris, whose “Wayne’s World” remains one of the funniest of ’90s movies, never finds a consistent tone here. The broad physical humor of the main plot contrasts weirdly with the character of the roommate (Matthew Lillard), who doesn’t seem to vibrate in the same universe. His character could be funny in a different movie, but he seems at right angles to this one.

(Two and a half stars is actually pretty good. And funny that Lillard in particular gets called out in the review considering he is going to be like fourth or fifth lead.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A6pM-4m7xQ0/

(Wait … where is this movie set? I would have figured it was New York given the Wall Street connection, but then he says he’s from Chicago. I guess he’s like … originally from Chicago and they moved to New York maybe? Oh the movie looks kind of dumb.)

DirectorsPenelope Spheeris – ( Known For: Wayne’s World; Suburbia; The Boys Next Door; Hollywood Vice Squad; Dudes; The Kid & I; Balls to the Wall; Future BMT: The Little Rascals; Black Sheep; BMT: The Beverly Hillbillies; Senseless; Notes: Very famous Rock ‘N Roll documentarian and claimed to have formed the first ever music video production company. Her mainstream career was basically ruined by the Weinsteins after the failure of this film by her account.)

WritersGreg Erb – ( Known For: The Princess and the Frog; Future BMT: RocketMan; Playmobil: The Movie; BMT: Senseless; Notes: Probably a script doctor of sorts as his career contains multiple 10 year gaps. Has a movie slated for production called Cryptozoologists, which is likely a CGI film.)

Craig Mazin – ( Future BMT: The Huntsman: Winter’s War; Superhero Movie; Scary Movie 3; The Hangover Part II; Scary Movie 4; The Hangover Part III; Identity Thief; RocketMan; BMT: Senseless; Notes: Won two Emmys for producing and writing Chernobyl. Has a bunch of stuff in production including an Untitled Pirates of the Caribbean project.)

ActorsMarlon Wayans – ( Known For: Requiem for a Dream; Respect; Scary Movie; The Heat; On the Rocks; The Ladykillers; Naked; I’m Gonna Git You Sucka; Above the Rim; Sextuplets; Future BMT: G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra; Scary Movie 2; Don’t Be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood; Mo’ Money; Dance Flick; The Sixth Man; BMT: White Chicks; Norbit; Marmaduke; Little Man; Fifty Shades of Black; A Haunted House; Dungeons & Dragons; A Haunted House 2; Senseless; Razzie Notes: Winner for Worst Actor, and Worst Screen Couple for Little Man in 2007; Nominee for Worst Screenplay in 2005 for White Chicks; and in 2007 for Little Man; Nominee for Worst Actress, and Worst Screen Couple for White Chicks in 2005; and Nominee for Worst Supporting Actor for G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra in 2010; Notes: Mostly does Netflix / streaming films at this point. He has a film called Boo! coming out which is probably in line with his Haunted House series. Oddly also has a Ben Affleck / Matt Damon film about Nike getting Michael Jordan as a client in the 80s?)

David Spade – ( Known For: Hotel Transylvania: Transformania; The Emperor’s New Groove; Tommy Boy; The Wrong Missy; Hotel Transylvania; Hotel Transylvania 3: Summer Vacation; Reality Bites; The Do-Over; PCU; Hotel Transylvania 2; Sandy Wexler; A Very Brady Sequel; Beavis and Butt-Head Do America; Father of the Year; The Rugrats Movie; Light Sleeper; Mad Families; Warning Shot; Jungle Master; Snowflake, the White Gorilla; Future BMT: Joe Dirt; Grandma’s Boy; Coneheads; Entourage; 8 Heads in a Duffel Bag; Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star; Loser; Black Sheep; Racing Stripes; BMT: Grown Ups; Grown Ups 2; The Ridiculous 6; I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry; The Benchwarmers; Jack and Jill; Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol; Senseless; Lost & Found; Razzie Notes: Winner for Worst Supporting Actress for Jack and Jill in 2012; and Nominee for Worst Actor, and Worst Screen Combo for The Wrong Missy in 2021; Notes: Still very successful. He’s from Arizona and is one of the Adam Sandler group which passed through SNL at the same time. He does a lot of television work, but also is one of the more successful Netflix comedy stars at the moment. Besides SNL he was also nominated for an Emmy for Just Shoot Me!)

Brad Dourif – ( Known For: Dune; Blue Velvet; The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King; One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest; The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers; Alien: Resurrection; Mississippi Burning; Drop Dead Sexy; Child’s Play; Bride of Chucky; Heaven’s Gate; Ragtime; The Exorcist III; The Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call – New Orleans; Curse of Chucky; Child’s Play 2; Jungle Fever; Cult of Chucky; Murder in the First; Nightwatch; Future BMT: Seed of Chucky; Pulse; Child’s Play 3; Amos & Andrew; Fatal Beauty; BMT: Urban Legend; Halloween; Color of Night; Priest; Graveyard Shift; Halloween II; Senseless; Notes: We’ve seen him a bunch recently. He was nominated for an Oscar when he was 25 at Billy in One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest. He is an incredibly recognizable character actor at this point in movies and television. For example he was in Star Trek: Voyager as a serial killer Betazoid for a long arc in the early seasons.)

Budget/Gross – $15 million / Domestic: $12,874,899 (Worldwide: $12,874,899)

(Yeah not very good. The budget was setting itself up for a decent success, but it was obviously not quite at the 30-60 million level they were probably hoping for.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 6% (1/17)

(Ah I get to make a consensus: In a long line of superhuman comedies the film is ultimately let down by the confused visions of its director and star.)

Reviewer Highlight: [Spheeris’] setups here are so witless and pedestrian that there’s no imagination to the crude slapstick punchlines; we’re just watching a bland jester pantomime sensory overload. – Owen Gleiberman, Entertainment Weekly

Poster – Sense More

(Oh nooooooo! It’s like I made it in high school. I usually say I can imagine these posters hanging in a theater, enticing people to partake in the joys of cinema. But no no no. Not this one. I cannot imagine this hanging anywhere. Wow. D)

Tagline(s) – A secret experiment gave him super senses. Then came the side-effects. (D+)

(I feel like the title of the film itself is the better tagline. Senseless that he has super senses. So then they were left with a not very good and very long tagline for the poster. Boo.)

Keyword(s) – dimension

Top 10: Sin City (2005), Spectre (2015), The Others (2001), Scream (1996), Equilibrium (2002), From Dusk Till Dawn (1996), The Mist (2007), Death Proof (2007), 1408 (2007), Scary Movie (2000)

Future BMT: 86.5 The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl 3-D (2005), 82.8 Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World (2011), 77.4 Who’s Your Caddy? (2007), 76.9 Superhero Movie (2008), 70.1 Black Christmas (2006), 68.6 Pulse (2006), 66.9 The Crow: City of Angels (1996), 64.9 Scary Movie 4 (2006), 61.8 Cursed (2005), 58.9 Apollo 18 (2011)

BMT: Scary Movie V (2013), Halloween: Resurrection (2002), Highlander: The Final Dimension (1994), Halloween II (2009), Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers (1995), My Boss’s Daughter (2003), Highlander: Endgame (2000), Dracula 2000 (2000), Hellraiser: Bloodline (1996), Air Bud: Golden Receiver (1998), Phantoms (1998), Boys and Girls (2000), Texas Rangers (2001), Reindeer Games (2000), Halloween (2007), Senseless (1998), Mindhunters (2004)

Best Options (Men in Black II): 76.9 Superhero Movie (2008), 61.8 Cursed (2005), 58.6 Scary Movie 2 (2001), 33.1 School for Scoundrels (2006), 27.3 Senseless (1998), 23.7 Impostor (2001)

(This doesn’t quite capture the fact that Senseless really is a rare one where Rip Torn is in both Men in Black II and Senseless in a major role. Chain reaction is always going to be one of those that we get worse films strategically. Too bad though, Cursed is notably bad and should be done sooner rather than later.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 13) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Matthew Lillard is No. 3 billed in Senseless and No. 6 billed in In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale, which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (3 + 6) + (3 + 1) = 13. If we were to watch Wicker Park we can get the HoE Number down to 10.

Notes – To date, this is the last movie directed by Penelope Spheeris to get a wide theatrical release. She said in an interview that working with the Weinsteins on this made her want to stop making mainstream Hollywood movies. She thought, “How the fuck did I get here? What am I doing? I don’t want to do this anymore. I don’t want to work in this movie business anymore.”

Brad Dourif does not blink in any of his scenes.

During the ending sequence, the song “Movin’ on up”, from the TV series The Jeffersons (1975),is playing as Daryl walks into his building and tips the doorman, who is played by Sherman Hemsley. Helmsley starred in “The Jeffersons”.

The exterior shot of David Spade’s fraternity was filmed at the Delta Tau Delta house at Stevens Institute of Technology in Hoboken, NJ. The letters on the front stairs were painted on for the movie and repainted after filming.

The punk band playing on the TV before it quickly gets changed is Naked Aggression.

Penelope Spheeris said producers the Weinsteins kept rewriting the script over and over, and it kept getting worse. At one point, she said to Bob Weinstein, “I don’t think this works,” and he said, “This is my fucking money and I’m going to spend it any fucking way I want to.” The movie ended up bombing and Spheeris said they blamed her, adding, “And as a woman, when you do a movie that doesn’t do well, then you’re done. You’re in director jail.”

Originally scheduled to be released in December 1997.

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My Boss’s Daughter Preview

When the time machine settles, the crew look at each other in trepidation. What the hell just happened? One second it looked like they were gonna make it home and now… where are they? Outside appears to be none other than… “Rallston Academy?” Patrick says in disbelief. They all recognize the legendary front gates of Kelley Morse’s private high school from Here on Earth. But when they look closer the gates don’t say “Rallston” at all. They say “Hallston.” Weird. In the distance they see the husk of what was once a place called Table’s Table, now burned down. Just outside are two young men, shirtless and scarfing down some sandwiches. Just a couple of best friends without a care in the world. “No, no, no, this is all wrong! Hallston? Table’s Table? Kelley and Jasper are supposed to hate each other! We have to go back!” Jamie screams, but as he attempts to mash the buttons of the time machine he realizes that the whole thing is as burned out as Table’s Table, the local… table shop? “Maybe this is OK.” Patrick says hopefully, “See? There’s the sheriff. He’s probably going to give Kelley a real once over about dating his daughter Sam.” But after piling out of the time machine and making their way over to Table’s Table they are appalled by what they find. Not one but two sheriffs. Opposite, and yet both so against the rulez. On their chests gleam badges with the names “Bangers” and “Mash” in big gold letters. And they’re not insisting Kelley and Jasper can’t date their daughters… they’re insisting that they DO date their daughters (both of course named Sam). Jamie’s eyes are wild, looking for an escape, but Patrick stops him. “This is why we’re here,” he says calmly. That’s right! While Jamie and Patrick are dealing with some Sheriff daughter problems in another dimension, we are dealing with My Boss’s Daughter, an early 2000’s laugh riot from Dimension Films starring Ashton Kutcher. Looks like a hoot (spoiler alert). Let’s go!

My Boss’s Daughter (2003) – BMeTric: 68.5; Notability: 43

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 3.6%; Notability: top 15.6%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 3.4%; Higher BMeT: The Room, Gigli, House of the Dead, The Cat in the Hat, Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd, From Justin to Kelly, Kangaroo Jack, Legally Blonde 2: Red, White & Blonde; Higher Notability: The Matrix Revolutions, Bad Boys II, Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star, The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, Brother Bear, Scary Movie 3, Timeline, Hollywood Homicide, Gods and Generals, Tears of the Sun, The Cat in the Hat, Paycheck, The Haunted Mansion, Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life, Cradle 2 the Grave, Duplex, Wonderland, Agent Cody Banks, The Jungle Book 2, Dreamcatcher, and 19 more; Lower RT: Dorm Daze, The Foreigner, Hangman’s Curse, Gold Diggers, House of the Dead, Gigli, Kangaroo Jack, From Justin to Kelly; Notes: Wow, still three pretty excellently bad films left from 2000 with a higher BMeTric. This is a very high BMeTric. Not surprising, just a bit off the radar since I can’t think of another time I thought of doing this film. Really high Notability for a comedy as well I think.

Leonard Maltin – BOMB –  Smitten with the title girl of his dreams (Reid), Kutcher is trapped into house-sitting for her wealthy father, a clean-freak who warns him against letting the inevitable happen: the thorough trashing of the family mansion. The leads have no chemistry in this trendily crude comedy that makes a short running time seem longer than the uncut Greed. This sat on the shelf for a couple of years before being dumped on the market.

(Greed is a 1924 film by Erich von Strodhein based on the novel McTeague. The original cut was nearly 9 hours long, but is now lost, sometimes claimed to be the greatest film ever made (at least by that time). A four hour reconstruction was created in 1999. Oh … this film? It looks like trash, but amazing that Leonard pulls in a ref to Greed while reviewing My Boss’s Daughter starring Tara Reid.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0kubIMUboWs/

(The music! Oh boy they spoil the only good joke in the film with the owl names OJ after OJ Simpson while being oblivious to him being accused of murder. And yeah, looks like unfunny garbage of course.)

DirectorsDavid Zucker – ( Known For: Airplane!; The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad!; Top Secret!; BASEketball; The Naked Gun 2½: The Smell of Fear; Ruthless People; Future BMT: Scary Movie 3; Scary Movie 4; An American Carol; BMT: Scary Movie V; My Boss’s Daughter; Notes: Nominated for an Emmy for Police Squad! As is obvious he was the BIG name in spoof films in the 80s, but ultimately his career craters in the 90s.)

WritersDavid Dorfman – ( Known For: Anger Management; BMT: My Boss’s Daughter; Notes: I forgot that they made an Anger Management television series starring Charlie Sheen a few years ago.)

ActorsAshton Kutcher – ( Known For: No Strings Attached; Spread; Open Season; Guess Who; A Lot Like Love; Bobby; Personal Effects; Coming Soon; Future BMT: The Butterfly Effect; Annie; Dude, Where’s My Car?; Just Married; Reindeer Games; BMT: Cheaper by the Dozen; Killers; The Guardian; What Happens in Vegas; New Year’s Eve; Valentine’s Day; Jobs; Down to You; My Boss’s Daughter; Texas Rangers; Razzie Notes: Winner for Worst Actor in 2011 for Killers, and Valentine’s Day; Nominee for Worst Actor in 2004 for Cheaper by the Dozen, Just Married, and My Boss’s Daughter; and in 2014 for Jobs; and Nominee for Worst Screen Couple for What Happens in Vegas in 2009; Notes: His last feature film that actually came out was in 2014. He seems like he is basically a venture capitalist at this point. He does have a few different films slated to come out in the next few years though.)

Tara Reid – ( Known For: American Pie; The Big Lebowski; American Pie 2; Cruel Intentions; American Reunion; The Hungover Games; Josie and the Pussycats; The Crow: Wicked Prayer; A Return to Salem’s Lot; Body Shots; Dr. T & the Women; Ouija House; Charlie’s Farm; Girl; Last Call; Devil’s Pond; I Woke Up Early the Day I Died; The Fields; Knots; Andy the Talking Hedgehog; Future BMT: Van Wilder; Just Visiting; BMT: Urban Legend; Alone in the Dark; My Boss’s Daughter; Notes: Her brother has his own production company. She’s basically just in terrible non-films like Sharknado now.)

Andy Richter – ( Known For: The Secret Life of Walter Mitty; Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby; Madagascar; Marcel the Shell with Shoes On; Blades of Glory; Elf; Penguins of Madagascar; Madagascar 3: Europe’s Most Wanted; Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa; The Cat Returns; Big Trouble; Dr. Dolittle 2; Girlfriend’s Day; Cabin Boy; Run Ronnie Run; Dr. T & the Women; Lenny the Wonder Dog; Seeing Other People; The Thin Pink Line; Frank McKlusky, C.I.; Future BMT: Scary Movie 2; Semi-Pro; Pootie Tang; Aliens in the Attic; BMT: New York Minute; My Boss’s Daughter; Notes: Long time co-host for Conan, he had quite a few television shows of his own, including Andy Barker P.I. As part of Conan he was nominated for seven Emmy awards, although never won.)

Budget/Gross – $14,000,000 / Domestic: $15,550,605 (Worldwide: $18,191,005)

(I mean, that is terrible. No wonder we never got that hotly anticipated sequel to My Boss’s Daughter. That would have definitely been My Boss’s Granddaughter right?)

Rotten Tomatoes – 8% (6/74): Offensive, incoherent, and ineptly acted and directed.

(Oh boy. Offensive is the worst. How many slurs do you think I hear while watching this film. Over/under an even dozen?)

Reviewer Highlight: Zucker … directs this mess like a substitute teacher soldiering through a day’s work for a day’s pay at a decertified school. – Lisa Schwarzbaum, Entertainment Weekly

Poster – Tom Stanfield’s Great Owl Adventure

(This is like a poster for a kids movie… but worse. I dare say nothing about this is good other than the fact that it doesn’t burn my eyes like acid. D-.)

Tagline(s) – There are some things you just don’t do. (D+)

(Oh boy… I mean this one hurts. No, I understand it. It’s just really a poor choice aesthetically. It honestly doesn’t even work in the way that they want it to. Like I think it’s one of those taglines where you are meant to read it along with the title and they mix together to create a beautiful stew. But the “you” in the tagline and the “My” in the title are like oil and water. Boooooo. There is just enough cleverness here to save it from really basement level stuff, but barely.)

Keyword(s) – dimension

Top 10: Sin City (2005), Spectre (2015), The Others (2001), Scream (1996), Equilibrium (2002), From Dusk Till Dawn (1996), The Mist (2007), Death Proof (2007), 1408 (2007), Scary Movie (2000)

Future BMT: 86.5 The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl 3-D (2005), 82.8 Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World (2011), 77.4 Who’s Your Caddy? (2007), 76.9 Superhero Movie (2008), 70.6 Halloween II (2009), 70.1 Black Christmas (2006), 68.6 Pulse (2006), 66.9 The Crow: City of Angels (1996), 64.9 Scary Movie 4 (2006), 61.8 Cursed (2005)

BMT: Scary Movie V (2013), Halloween: Resurrection (2002), Highlander: The Final Dimension (1994), Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers (1995), My Boss’s Daughter (2003), Highlander: Endgame (2000), Dracula 2000 (2000), Hellraiser: Bloodline (1996), Air Bud: Golden Receiver (1998), Phantoms (1998), Texas Rangers (2001), Mindhunters (2004)

Best Options (Comedy): 86.5 The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl 3-D (2005), 82.8 Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World (2011), 77.4 Who’s Your Caddy? (2007), 76.9 Superhero Movie (2008), 68.6 My Boss’s Daughter (2003), 64.9 Scary Movie 4 (2006), 61.8 Cursed (2005), 58.6 Scary Movie 2 (2001), 55.3 Fame (2009), 51.4 Scary Movie 3 (2003), 49.3 Teaching Mrs. Tingle (1999), 44.6 Boys and Girls (2000), 41.7 Bad Santa 2 (2016), 37.0 The Brothers Grimm (2005), 35.3 I Got the Hook Up (1998), 33.1 School for Scoundrels (2006), 30.5 Gunmen (1993), 27.3 Senseless (1998), 18.2 Don’t Be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood (1996)

(And there we are again, hitting up probably the best actual film for the category. Who’s Your Caddy is like a fake film. Really cleaning up that ‘00 to ‘05 era of Dimension.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 15) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Tara Reid is No. 2 billed in My Boss’s Daughter and No. 6 billed in Urban Legend, which also stars Alicia Witt (No. 1 billed) who is in 88 Minutes (No. 2 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (2 + 6) + (1 + 2) + (3 + 1) = 15. If we were to watch Must Love Dogs, and The Glass House we can get the HoE Number down to 14.

Notes – The 16 March 2001 draft of the screenplay lists David Zucker and Peter Tilden as writers. Tilden is not credited in the final film and Zucker only receives a directing credit.

Awards – Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Actor (Ashton Kutcher, 2004)

Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers Preview

Jamie and Patrick look over a ridge at the closely guarded church where LePumice’s time machine is held. The trio are dismayed at the unexpected hitch in the plan. Patrick suggests heading back to their own machine, but LePumice rightly asserts that if the puppetmaster of the dastardly plan to frame the Bad Movie Twins already knows of his own betrayal then he must also know about their own machine. He quickly explains in expository detail how because the plan against them is being formed in the future then, “they already know every move we’ve made,” Jamie finishes astutely. “It’s science,” agrees LePumice. “Then we’ll just have to do the unexpected,” Patrick says slyly. Minutes later Jamie and Patrick start to proceed towards the church with a gun trained on LePumice. “No one moves an inch or this knockoff Time Cop gets it!” Jamie screams, much to the confusion of the guards. They check their patented Time Cop Watches to confirm that LePumice is their future adversary, but can’t square with what they are seeing. In their momentary confusion they leave themselves open to a few well placed Twin Chops. “Let’s get inside and get out of here,” LePumice says but stops dead upon entering the church. “Mikey?” Jamie and Patrick exclaim, confused. Indeed, there is little Mikey Myers from down the block, but instead of the ‘aw, shucks’ look he had the last time they saw him at the casino, this time he means business. “Yes, it’s Mikey, and you’ll curse the day you ever put a fish in my overalls. Or should I say, you already curse that day. Isn’t that right, Mikey?” From behind the time machine the adult Mikey Myers comes out, a Time Cop Watch on his wrist. “Curses,” LePumice says. That’s right! Keep on churning through those Halloweens with The Curse of Michael Myers. I remember this one being the worst of the bunch that I watched back in the day and blessedly another short one for our journey. Pair this up with a Bring a Friend holiday horror special, New Year Evil and we’ve got a party. Let’s go!

Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers (1995) – BMeTric: 67.9; Notability: 24

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 0.8%; Notability: top 25.2%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 4.7%; Higher BMeT: Showgirls, Vampire in Brooklyn; Higher Notability: Batman Forever, Congo, Cutthroat Island, Judge Dredd, Under Siege 2: Dark Territory, Virtuosity, Showgirls, Four Rooms, Stuart Saves His Family, Tank Girl, Panther, Jade, Assassins, Things to Do in Denver When You’re Dead, Money Train, Jefferson in Paris, Hackers, Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie, Canadian Bacon, Just Cause, and 43 more; Lower RT: The Big Green, National Lampoon’s Senior Trip, Theodore Rex, Delta of Venus, Jury Duty, The Walking Dead, Top Dog, Born to Be Wild, A Kid in King Arthur’s Court, The Hunted, It Takes Two; Notes: I can’t believe it hit 5.0 at one point! Anyways, solid sub-5.0 film with an appropriately gaudy BMeTric. We still haven’t seen Showgirls for BMT.

Leonard Maltin – 1.5 stars –  Pursued by the masked killer, Michael’s niece escapes from mysterious catacombs with her newborn baby. Then he starts killing a family which has the misfortune merely to live in his former home. Routine slash-fest, of interest only to the dedicated, even though this time it links Michael to the Druids!

(Yeah this is really the worst of the bunch in my opinion. The cult thing is just really weird. Only kind of fun because Paul Rudd is in it.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rAaPBxBxaV8/

(Just give me that soundtrack babbbbbbbby. Oh snap, it had a different name! The Origin of Michael Myers is … a terrible name with a terrible promise. We know the origin of Michael Myers! He was a psycho kid who tried to kill his family a whole mess of times.)

DirectorsJoe Chappelle – ( Known For: An Acceptable Loss; Takedown; Thieves Quartet; BMT: Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers; Phantoms; Notes: Huge television director directing CSI: Miami, and The Wire, and Chicago Fire, etc. He directed The Skulls II prior to moving to exclusively television work.)

WritersDebra Hill – ( Known For: Halloween; Halloween; The Fog; Escape from L.A.; Halloween H20: 20 Years Later; Future BMT: Halloween Kills; Halloween; Halloween: Resurrection; BMT: Halloween II; Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers; Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers; The Fog; Notes: Long time collaborator with Carpenter. At this point her and Carpenter would just get credit for any Halloween film ever made.)

John Carpenter – ( Known For: Halloween; They Live; Halloween; Escape from New York; The Fog; Escape from L.A.; Prince of Darkness; Halloween H20: 20 Years Later; Assault on Precinct 13; Dark Star; Assault on Precinct 13; Eyes of Laura Mars; Black Moon Rising; Future BMT: Halloween Kills; Halloween; Lockout; Halloween: Resurrection; BMT: Ghosts of Mars; Halloween II; Halloween III: Season of the Witch; Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers; Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers; The Fog; Notes: Same as above. He’s an interesting guy, apparently he’s very into video games. So much so that when Metal Gear Solid obviously ripped off Escape from New York he declined to sue since he liked the game.)

Daniel Farrands – ( Known For: Aileen Wuornos: American Boogeywoman; The Girl Next Door; The Haunting of Sharon Tate; Havenhurst; BMT: Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Screenplay for The Haunting of Sharon Tate in 2020; Notes: He created the seven-hour documentary Crystal Lake Memories: The Complete History of Friday the 13th, so he has his hands in multiple major horror franchises.)

ActorsDonald Pleasence – ( Known For: Halloween; The Great Escape; Oh, God!; You Only Live Twice; Escape from New York; THX 1138; The Eagle Has Landed; Phenomena; Prince of Darkness; Fantastic Voyage; Escape to Witch Mountain; Soldier Blue; Wake in Fright; The Greatest Story Ever Told; Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band; The Thief and the Cobbler; 1984; Cul-de-sac; Buried Alive; Dracula; BMT: Halloween II; Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers; Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers; Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers; Notes: He would die prior to this film’s release. He was really the major player in the franchise and obviously loved by Carpenter, also appearing as the President of the US (with a British accent) in Escape from New York.)

Paul Rudd – ( Known For: Ghostbusters: Afterlife; Avengers: Endgame; Romeo + Juliet; Captain America: Civil War; Clueless; The Perks of Being a Wallflower; The 40-Year-Old Virgin; Ant-Man and the Wasp; Ant-Man; Forgetting Sarah Marshall; This Is 40; This Is the End; Knocked Up; Night at the Museum; Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy; I Love You, Man; Sausage Party; Role Models; Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story; Between Two Ferns: The Movie; Future BMT: How Do You Know; Admission; 200 Cigarettes; The Ex; Reno 911! Miami; Over Her Dead Body; BMT: Year One; Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers; Notes: One of those classic actors who started with a crap horror film. He’s now Ant-Man and is in shows like The Shrink Next Door and still doing random comedy like Saturday Morning All Star Hits! and appearing on Conan (usually showing a random clip from Mac & Me).)

Marianne Hagan – ( Known For: Stake Land; Perfume; Naomi and Ely’s No Kiss List; I Think I Do; Rick; BMT: Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers; Notes: Was educated as a journalist and has written books with her sister and published some journalism pieces as well over the years.)

Budget/Gross – $5 million / Domestic: $15,116,634 (Worldwide: $15,116,634)

(Not bad actually. But the writing was on the wall at this point. There was nowhere to go with the franchise, horror was dying in the late 90s, and once Scream came along a year later it completely changed the landscape.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 9% (3/34): Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers trades the simple, brutal effectiveness of the original for convoluted mysticism, with disastrously dull results.

(Yup. Never explain!! You never explain your unstoppable killing machine. There is no point. What is the point of saying Michael Myers is doing all of this because of some cult? Who care?! No one, that’s who. Always a huge mistake.)

Reviewer Highlight: Although the series has obviously run out of steam, the ending leaves the door open for Michael’s return. Really, it’s about time the masks were removed once and for and all. – Stephen Holden, New York Times

Poster – Curses! The Michael Myers Story

(This is as classic as they got in the original series. Pretty similar to the first film’s poster. I like the blue tone and overall framing. Font has never been Halloween’s strong suit. So I’ll give it a bit of a pass. B+.)

Tagline(s) – Terror Never Rests In Peace! (C)

(Neither bad nor good really. It’s short and sweet and gives the sense of the character, but really as bland as they come.)

Keyword(s) – cult

Top 10: Once Upon a Time… In Hollywood (2019), Midsommar (2019), Scooby-Doo (2002), Get Out (2017), Hereditary (2018), The Shining (1980), Eyes Wide Shut (1999), Reservoir Dogs (1992), From Dusk Till Dawn (1996), Wrong Turn (2021)

Future BMT: 76.7 Paranormal Activity 4 (2012), 65.2 The Haunting of Molly Hartley (2008), 61.3 Scooby-Doo (2002), 58.4 Children of the Corn II: The Final Sacrifice (1992), 56.6 An American Werewolf in Paris (1997), 55.1 Annabelle (2014), 51.3 Dude, Where’s My Car? (2000), 45.9 Darkness (2002), 45.2 Children of the Corn (1984), 44.5 The Reaping (2007)

BMT: Friday the 13th (2009), Drive Angry (2011), The Circle (2017), Cobra (1986), Conan the Destroyer (1984), The Wicker Man (2006), Babylon A.D. (2008), Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers (1995), Alone in the Dark (2005), Bless the Child (2000)

Matches: Midsommar (2019), Doctor Sleep (2019), The Master (2012), Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984), Mandy (2018), Martha Marcy May Marlene (2011), The Babysitter: Killer Queen (2020), Drive Angry (2011), Annabelle (2014), Colonia (2015), Dude, Where’s My Car? (2000), Apostle (2018), The Endless (2017), Children of the Corn (1984), Cobra (1986), Holy Smoke (1999), V/H/S/94 (2021), Society (1989), Midnight Special (2016), How to Talk to Girls at Parties (2017), Babylon A.D. (2008), Cult of Chucky (2017), Red State (2011), Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers (1995), The Other Lamb (2019), Alone in the Dark (2005), Ladies and Gentlemen, the Fabulous Stains (1982), Children of the Corn II: The Final Sacrifice (1992), … (and many more)

(We’ve done a ton of 00s cult films for some reason. The Wicker Man, Babylon A.D., Bless the Child. My god! There were a lot of them. We have to start killing up Children of the Corn at some point.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 15) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Donald Pleasence is No. 1 billed in Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers and No. 2 billed in Halloween II, which also stars Jamie Lee Curtis (No. 1 billed) who is in Christmas with the Kranks (No. 2 billed) which also stars Tim Allen (No. 1 billed) who is in Jungle 2 Jungle (No. 1 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 6 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (1 + 2) + (1 + 2) + (1 + 1) + (6 + 1) = 15. If we were to watch How Do You Know, and Legally Blonde 2: Red, White & Blonde we can get the HoE Number down to 15.

Notes – Paul Rudd’s film debut; it was filmed before Clueless (1995), his first big-screen appearance.

Most of the cast and crew disowned this movie. On the Halloween: 25 Years of Terror (2006) DVD, they stated that the studio, producers, and director interfered and argued to the point of ridiculousness which resulted in a very poorly directed and edited film.

The producers of the movie wanted Brian Andrews to reprise his role as Tommy Doyle from the original Halloween. However, Andrews did not have an agent, so they could not get in contact with him. He’s stated since that he regrets missing the opportunity.

It was Daniel Farrands who suggested that the film be called The Curse of Michael Myers due to the troubled production.

In early 1995, after filming and editing was completed, Halloween 6 was given a test screening which, as described by actress Marianne Hagan, “consisted primarily of 14-year-old boys.” During the Q&A afterward, one of them expressed great displeasure at the ending of the film, which entailed a Celtic ritual and the passing on of the Curse of Thorn to the Dr. Loomis character. This led to reshoots to craft a new ending, but there was a big problem: Donald Pleasence could not be present for them on account of having died in February. Not only was a new ending shot anyway, but over twenty minutes of other footage was changed as well, leaving gaping plot holes that rendered the film nearly incomprehensible.

Danielle Harris wanted to reclaim her role as Jamie, but turned it down when Dimension Films refused to pay her the $5,000 she wanted. Harris stated in an interview that when her agent learned that filmmakers were looking to cast an actress who was at least 18 or older to play Jamie in this film, she was only 17 but wanted to do the movie enough that she got herself legally emancipated from her parents at the suggestion of filmmakers so that she could work longer hours without having to go to school. Harris spent time and thousands of dollars on the legal process, but ultimately turned down the film due to her own dissatisfaction with her character’s story and Dimension’s refusal to pay her a salary that would have recovered her legal fees. Harris also stated that she eventually met and befriended J.C. Brandy, who took over the role of Jamie in the film and was treated poorly on the set because Harris turned down the role.

The original title of the movie was “Halloween 666: The Origin of Michael Myers”. There are even existing ad prints and early trailers with that title. Later, it became “Halloween 6” and finally “Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers”.

For years after the theatrical release of this film, the only way to watch the Producer’s Cut was by bootleg copies which had poor video and audio quality rendering it nearly unwatchable, the footage managed to survive being destroyed by being released illegally. On September 23rd, 2014, Shout Factory released the original Producer’s Cut on Blu Ray, with a restored picture from the original negative which is available in the Halloween Complete Collection for the first time. It was finally given an individual release by Miramax films on September 2015 though without the bonus features from the collection.

Many of the crew have gone on the record to state that director Joe Chappelle told them from the outset that he didn’t like the Halloween films, and was only involved in this project because it got him a three-picture deal with Miramax. His next two films after this were both Miramax releases.

Daniel Farrands was a longtime fan of the series. He had compiled a notebook filled with research on the series, including a timeline, bios for every character, a “family tree” of the Myers and Strode families, and research on the runic symbol of Thorn that had appeared in Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers (1989).

Daniel Farrands stated in an interview that Joe Chappelle used little to no ideas from his script. He had completely re-written the entire third act which included a completely (confusing) different ending. Daniel’s original script dealt more with the cult and rune of Thorn.

Kevin Williamson’s initial treatment for part 7 originally acknowledged the events in 4, 5 and 6, but it was dropped to avoid confusing and complicating things for viewers.

This first Halloween movie where the sheriff of Haddonfield is not a main character in the movie.

Other than this film, the only film in the series that displayed the Thorn tattoo on Michael’s wrist was Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers. It has not been used in any subsequent films.

Yours, Mine & Ours (2005) Preview

“These mashed potatoes are delicious, Mom… er… I mean, Young Jamie and Patrick’s Mom,” Jamie says enthusiastically, mashed potatoes falling from his mouth. Having dined with their younger selves, Patrick and Jamie are counting the minutes until their next unexpected obstacle presents itself. A serial killer? Perhaps a pumpkinhead or a phantom of the opera? Hopefully not a lawnmower man, the scariest of all the spooky Halloween fiends. They jump at the sound of a knock at the door. “That must be Mikey,” Young Jamie says with glee and rushes from the table. Before they can stop him, he opens the door and… phew, Jamie and Patrick stop themselves just in time, inches from cracking an innocent child with a mean Twin Chop (patent pending). The kid looks like a total nerd alert in his clown costume and to think, they were worried about little Mikey from around the block. Mikey seems nervous. “You guys invited me over?” he asks tentatively, “but I’m sure it was just a mistake,” he finishes quietly. Young Jamie and Patrick look back at their older selves and shake their heads. “No it wasn’t a mistake,” says Jamie. Patrick agrees, “It’s just that we’ve realized that we’ve been a couple of big ol’ lame-o jerks.” They clap Mikey on the shoulder and ask if he wants to go trick-or-treating with them tonight. Jamie and Patrick’s hearts melt. Turns out there was nothing to worry about after all, just a heartwarming story of friendship. Mikey beams, but then looks nervous again. “I don’t think I can,” he says sadly. Sensing something off, Jamie and Patrick ask what’s wrong and remind him that secrets are for sharing. Young Jamie agrees. “Now that we’re best buds, what’s yours is mine… it’s ours!” That’s right! We are jumping right to Yours, Mine & Ours. It’s basically The Brady Bunch times a thousand and is based on a 60’s film that was much better received than this remake that everyone was definitely asking for. The weirdest thing about watching this now is that the original film happens to also play a minor role in current Academy Award hopeful Licorice Pizza (or as the kids call it Licorice Za). So pretty timely stuff. Let’s go!

Yours, Mine & Ours (2005) – BMeTric: 45.4; Notability: 48

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 16.8%; Notability: top 12.8%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 2.4%; Higher BMeT: Son of the Mask, Alone in the Dark, BloodRayne, The Fog, The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl 3-D, xXx: State of the Union, Boogeyman, Elektra, Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo, Bewitched, A Sound of Thunder, Are We There Yet?, The Crow: Wicked Prayer, The Dukes of Hazzard, The Honeymooners, Stealth, Cursed, Doom, Dirty Love, Miss Congeniality 2: Armed & Fabulous, and 22 more; Higher Notability: The Island, Fantastic Four, Kingdom of Heaven, Bewitched, Domino, Be Cool, Fun with Dick and Jane, xXx: State of the Union, Memoirs of a Geisha, Chicken Little, The Longest Yard, The Great Raid, Son of the Mask, Miss Congeniality 2: Armed & Fabulous, Stealth, Cursed, The Ring Two, Flightplan, The Dukes of Hazzard, Æon Flux, and 12 more; Lower RT: The Crow: Wicked Prayer, Alone in the Dark, BloodRayne, The Fog, Chaos, Supercross; Notes: Mid-5.0 is where I would expect it. Oh ho ho, so this is just a shade better than Supercross … well, I’ll be the judge of that.

RogerEbert.com – 1.5 stars – ‘Yours, Mine & Ours” has one thing to be thankful for: Frank and Helen realize immediately that they’re still in love, all these years after they were the prom king and queen in high school. They see each other, they dance, they talk while dancing, they kiss while talking, and in the next scene, they’re engaged to be married. That saves us the Idiot Plot device in which they’re destined for each other, but are kept apart by a series of misunderstandings. In this version, they’re brought together by a series of misunderstandings, mostly on the part of the filmmakers, who thought they could remake the 1968 Henry Fonda-Lucille Ball film without its sweetness and charm.

(Having seen the original that seems like a dire warning. The only thing the original film had was sweetness and charm. There wasn’t even really a plot, it was pure sweetness and charm.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ct37x6Fhbx0/

(Thanks I hate it. I guess I kind of see what they were going for … it is Nickelodeon Studios so they are looking for something that will entertain kids in like fourth grade and they need some IP for that purpose. What’s better for pratfalls than a ton of children?)

DirectorsRaja Gosnell – ( Known For: Never Been Kissed; Beverly Hills Chihuahua; Future BMT: Scooby-Doo; Home Alone 3; Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed; The Smurfs; The Smurfs 2; BMT: Big Momma’s House; Yours, Mine & Ours; Show Dogs; Notes: Was originally a pretty big editor, but transitioned to directing in 1996. Still does, he’s attached as the director to the new Santa movie, Santa: The Adventure Begins, which I think I heard of on a podcast.)

WritersRon Burch and David Kidd – ( Known For: Ferdinand; BMT: Yours, Mine & Ours; Head Over Heels; Notes: Were nominated for an Emmy for helping to write a song in the show The Closer. They produced and wrote on Dinotrux.)

Melville Shavelson – ( Known For: Yours, Mine and Ours; Houseboat; A New Kind of Love; Wonder Man; Room for One More; Cast a Giant Shadow; April in Paris; On Moonlight Bay; It Started in Naples; The Paleface; The Five Pennies; The Princess and the Pirate; The War Between Men and Women; Trouble Along the Way; The Kid from Brooklyn; It’s a Great Feeling; I’ll See You in My Dreams; Sorrowful Jones; The Daughter of Rosie O’Grady; The Seven Little Foys; BMT: Yours, Mine & Ours; Notes: One of the original writers. Was nominated for two Oscars, for Houseboat and Jack Rose. Was president of the Writers Guild on multiple occasions.)

Mort Lachman – ( Known For: Yours, Mine and Ours; Call Me Bwana; Mixed Company; BMT: Yours, Mine & Ours; Notes: Again, credited for the original. Was nominated for six Emmys (three for Kate & Allie, and three for All in the Family), and won one (for All in the Family))

Madelyn Davis and Bob Carroll Jr. – ( Known For: Yours, Mine and Ours; I Love Lucy; BMT: Yours, Mine & Ours; Notes: They were nominated for three Emmys (for I Love Lucy and Here’s Lucy), so they knew Lucille Ball, which explains why they wrote on the original film.)

ActorsDennis Quaid – ( Known For: American Underdog; Midway; The Day After Tomorrow; Stripes; The Parent Trap; Traffic; Any Given Sunday; Footloose; Soul Surfer; A Dog’s Journey; The Right Stuff; I Can Only Imagine; DragonHeart; Innerspace; Frequency; Breaking Away; The Long Riders; Enemy Mine; Blue Miracle; Smart People; Future BMT: G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra; Wyatt Earp; Legion; Pandorum; Kin; The Words; Vantage Point; The Alamo; Flight of the Phoenix; Cold Creek Manor; Something to Talk About; Undercover Blues; Switchback; American Dreamz; BMT: Movie 43; Jaws 3-D; A Dog’s Purpose; What to Expect When You’re Expecting; Yours, Mine & Ours; The Intruder; Playing for Keeps; Notes: Nominated for an Emmy for playing Bill Clinton in The Special Relationship. The younger brother of Randy Quaid who had already established a career in Hollywood when he moved there after dropping out of the University of Houston.)

Rene Russo – ( Known For: Avengers: Endgame; Thor; Thor: The Dark World; Nightcrawler; The Intern; Major League; The Thomas Crown Affair; Lethal Weapon 3; Lethal Weapon 4; Outbreak; Ransom; In the Line of Fire; Velvet Buzzsaw; Get Shorty; Tin Cup; Big Trouble; The Adventures of Rocky & Bullwinkle; Frank and Cindy; Future BMT: Two for the Money; Showtime; Major League II; Just Getting Started; Mr. Destiny; One Good Cop; Buddy; BMT: Yours, Mine & Ours; Freejack; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Supporting Actress for The Adventures of Rocky & Bullwinkle in 2001; Notes: Met her husband Dan Gilroy on the set of recent BMT film Freejack. Apparently wore a brace for scoliosis in junior high.)

Jerry O’Connell – ( Known For: Scream 2; Stand by Me; Jerry Maguire; Piranha 3D; Can’t Hardly Wait; The Secret: Dare to Dream; Veronica Mars; Satanic Panic; Lies and Alibis; Buying the Cow; Reign of the Supermen; Body Shots; Space Station 76; Man About Town; Room 6; Deep Murder; Fat Slags; Baby on Board; The Lookalike; Future BMT: Obsessed; The New Guy; Tomcats; Mission to Mars; Wish Upon; Joe’s Apartment; Calendar Girl; BMT: Scary Movie V; Yours, Mine & Ours; Kangaroo Jack; Police Academy 5: Assignment: Miami Beach; Notes: Married Rebecca Romijn in 2007 and had twins girls in 2008. Apparently the first male host of CBS’ The Talk.)

Budget/Gross – $45,000,000 / Domestic: $53,412,862 (Worldwide: $72,662,923)

(Actually not half bad. I would have guessed this was an enormous bomb, but this is actually not horrible.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 6% (6/107): The initial set-up is unbelievable, the plotting is predictable and stale, and the comedy depends on repetitive pratfalls that soon get old.

(wowza less than 10% is hugely impressive for a film like this. And over 100 reviews? The critics just hated this thing!)

Reviewer Highlight: So snug, airtight and insulated from reality that the nice, well-scrubbed Cheaper by the Dozen seems almost rambunctious by comparison. – Stephen Holden, New York Times

Poster – Sklogs, Sklogs & Sklogs

(My least favorite genre of modern posters. In the 80’s this would have been hand drawn in a Meatball’s kind of way and for some reason that’s more palatable. With actual pictures of people it has far too much white space, the colors aren’t consistent and it generally looks bad. But OK font and fine spacing rescue it a little. C-)

Tagline(s) – 18 kids, one house, no way. (A)

Rock the house! (F)

(You gotta give a classic it’s due. That first tagline is short, is a classic rule of three, and gives a clear idea of the specific plot. Some question of cleverness, but it’s playing with numbers, so I think fair enough. The second is funny in a sad way. Made only sadder by its positioning near the photoshopped picture of a pig eating a pizza below Rene Russo’s legs.)

Keyword(s) – widower

Top 10: The King’s Man (2021), Scream (1996), Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings (2021), The Karate Kid (1984), Avengers: Endgame (2019), Pig (2021), Interstellar (2014), Once Upon a Time… In Hollywood (2019), Ron’s Gone Wrong (2021), Inception (2010)

Future BMT: 76.9 Superhero Movie (2008), 63.1 Underdog (2007), 57.5 I Don’t Know How She Does It (2011), 56.2 Ghost Dad (1990), 50.3 Racing Stripes (2005), 49.7 Just Married (2003), 48.4 White Noise (2005), 46.5 Winchester (2018), 45.6 A Kid in King Arthur’s Court (1995), 44.6 The Rhythm Section (2020)

BMT: Independence Day: Resurgence (2016), Countdown (2019), When in Rome (2010), Blended (2014), Warcraft (2016), Fantasy Island (2020), The 5th Wave (2016), Death Wish (2018), Elektra (2005), A Walk to Remember (2002), Thir13en Ghosts (2001), The Choice (2016), Into the Storm (2014), Safe Haven (2013), Zoolander 2 (2016), Color of Night (1994), I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry (2007), Max Payne (2008), Alex Cross (2012), Texas Rangers (2001), Yours, Mine & Ours (2005), The Intruder (2019), Universal Soldier: The Return (1999), Are We Done Yet? (2007), I Dreamed of Africa (2000), September Dawn (2007)

Matches: The Nice Guys (2016), Rebecca (2020), Sleepless in Seattle (1993), The Constant Gardener (2005), My Girl (1991), Babel (2006), Nanny McPhee (2005), Safe Haven (2013), Dan in Real Life (2007), Fathers & Daughters (2015), Dead Silence (2007), Hide and Seek (2005), Jersey Girl (2004), Arlington Road (1999), Smart People (2008), This Beautiful Fantastic (2016), Mission to Mars (2000), Return to Me (2000), Yours, Mine & Ours (2005), The Intruder (2019), Our Souls at Night (2017), Ghost Dad (1990), Everybody’s Fine (2009), Underdog (2007), Dog Days (2018), Love Happens (2009), Mother and Child (2009), Martian Child (2007), Out to Sea (1997), … and many more.

(That might be a genuine 2008 dip! Sometimes it is just because less films were being made around there, but I could genuinely see Hollywood thinking no one wants to hear about widowers during an international financial collapse.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 19) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Dennis Quaid is No. 1 billed in Yours, Mine & Ours and No. 1 billed in The Intruder, which also stars Meagan Good (No. 2 billed) who is in The Love Guru (No. 5 billed) which also stars Jessica Alba (No. 2 billed) who is in Mechanic: Resurrection (No. 2 billed) which also stars Jason Statham (No. 1 billed) who is in In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (No. 1 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (1 + 1) + (2 + 5) + (2 + 2) + (1 + 1) + (3 + 1) = 19. If we were to watch American Dreamz we can get the HoE Number down to 10.

Notes – Drake Bell and Miranda Cosgrove played brother and sister in the Nickelodeon kid’s show, Drake & Josh (2004).

The party band in the movie is a Christian alternative rock band called Hawk Nelson.

Danielle Panabaker originally tried to get the part of Christina but was changed back and forth and eventually got the part of Phoebe because of her resemblance to Rene Russo.

The house the Beardsley family is moving into in the beginning of the film is the same house the Banks family lives in in the 1991 remake of Father of the Bride.

In the 1968 original film, Frank Beardsley (portrayed by Henry Fonda) was an active duty US Navy Chief Warrant Officer (a rank between commissioned officers and non-commissioned officers, usually granted to expert technical specialists with extensive experience), while in this remake, Frank Beardsley is a US Coast Guard Rear Admiral.

When Mrs. Munion is relaxing in her room, she is watching WWE Royal Rumble 2005. As Dylan wakes up, he has a WWE Magazine over his head.

Nominees for Commandant must be approved by Congress after appearing before House and Senate committees.

This was the first film to be co-produced by Paramount Pictures and Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer. The original 1968 film was produced by Desilu Productions, which merged with Paramount the year before, so the film’s copyright was renewed by Paramount. However, United Artists (owned by MGM since 1981) has retained full distribution rights to the 1968 film to this day. Columbia Pictures became involved once its parent company, Sony, purchased a stake in MGM.

Supercross Preview

Jamie and Patrick stare wide eyes as they witness Young Jamie and Young Patrick approach the group of kids throwing their comic books to the side. They proceed to let the kids know that this is their turf and to “skedaddle tout de suite, daddio” (as all the kids were saying). For a moment it seems like things might actually turn out OK. “Aw, look, Young Patrick is letting that one kid know that he happens to have something on his shirt,” Jamie says hopefully. But psych! There wasn’t anything on his shirt at all! What a ruse! He quickly runs his finger up the kids shirt and flicks them right in the nose. “Oh no, we’re total dicks!” exclaims Jamie in despair and Patrick watches sadly as Young Jamie and Young Patrick gleefully predator high five in the wake of the fleeing kids. “What are we going to do?” shouts Jamie, grabbing Patrick by the shirt, “that poor child had nothing at all on his shirt! Nothing!” He’s now sobbing uncontrollably as he rends his clothes in anguish. “No wonder we would be mistaken for terrorists,” Jamie says, wiping his nose, “we basically already were terrorists. That poor kid just didn’t want to have anything on his shirt. And what did he get for checking? A finger flick in the nose.” Jamie curls into a ball, ready to die for his sins. “No!” shouts Patrick. “I don’t accept that we are little assholes,” he says resolutely. “B-but what are we going to do?” Jamie sniffles sadly. Patrick looks around and his gaze alights on a couple of rad dirtbikes. “Time to take these kids downtown and show them what it’s like.” With that, Jamie and Patrick hop onto the dirtbikes and zoom down the hill. That’s right! It feels like it’s been a while since we saw a true blue sports film. Enter Supercross, the supercross film that took the country by storm. It gave the people what they wanted: less than 90 minutes of sweet, sweet supercross action. Let’s go!

Supercross (2005) – BMeTric: 46.5; Notability: 23

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 13.6%; Notability: top 30.4%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 2.0%; Higher BMeT: Son of the Mask, Alone in the Dark, BloodRayne, The Fog, The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl 3-D, xXx: State of the Union, Boogeyman, Elektra, Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo, Bewitched, A Sound of Thunder, Are We There Yet?, The Crow: Wicked Prayer, The Dukes of Hazzard, Stealth, Cursed, Doom, Dirty Love, Miss Congeniality 2: Armed & Fabulous, An American Haunting, and 14 more; Higher Notability: The Island, Fantastic Four, Kingdom of Heaven, Bewitched, Domino, Be Cool, Fun with Dick and Jane, xXx: State of the Union, Memoirs of a Geisha, Chicken Little, The Longest Yard, The Great Raid, Son of the Mask, Miss Congeniality 2: Armed & Fabulous, Stealth, Cursed, The Ring Two, Flightplan, The Dukes of Hazzard, Rumor Has It…, and 56 more; Lower RT: The Crow: Wicked Prayer, Alone in the Dark, BloodRayne, The Fog, Chaos; Notes: Really fun plot, a rare one which was released at the perfect time for the archive to get it all the way from zero votes and when IMDb itself was much less popular as a platform. The RT score is obviously the bit bit of cred here. And we’ve only seen two of the five worse ones, embarrassing for us.

Leonard Maltin – 1.5 stars –  Also known as Supercross the Movie (for those who need things spelled out), this film presents a thin plot about two disparate brothers who are suddenly thrust into the world of hyper-competitive uber-bike championships after the mysterious death of their father. One of the boys is sponsored, which allowed plenty of opportunity to hawk everything from motor oil to tires. Product placement never had it so good. A lame-brained ESPN program passing for a movie.

(Product. Placement. Never. Had. It. So. Good. … That’s a lot to live up to Leonard, you best not be joshing me. And disparate brothers? Uber-bike championships? A mysterious death of a father these disparate brothers loves (oh boy do I hope one of them had a complicated relationship with him!). I’m very very excited.)

Trailer –  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z4p16x6zEsc

(Uh … what the hell is this? HOLY SHIT, I’m already in love with this nonsense. Are all of these people like … actual motocross people? I sure hope so, because that would be some hilarious acting.)

DirectorsSteve Boyum – ( Future BMT: Meet the Deedles; BMT: Supercross; Notes: An interesting cross of being a stunt coordinator and then, later, a pretty major television director. He directed eight episodes of Lethal Weapon, and nine of Supernatural among many others. He is, in fact, a motor-cross racer.)

WritersKen Solarz – ( Known For: City of Industry; BMT: Supercross; Notes: Mostly writes for television. Most recently he wrote fourteen episodes of the new Hawaii Five-0. He produces with Wild Child Productions.)

Bart Baker – ( Known For: Live Wire; BMT: Supercross; Notes: He mostly wrote television movies. He also is maybe a writer as a film called Honeymoon with Harry is coming out where he is credited with writing the novel.)

Keith Alan Bernstein – ( BMT: Supercross; Notes: Literally nothing about this person. I bet he is an amateur motor-cross racer who penned a script that was then handed over to screenwriters.)

ActorsSteve Howey – ( Known For: Stuber; Game Over, Man!; DOA: Dead or Alive; Stan Helsing; In Your Eyes; See You in Valhalla; Wrong Cops; Conception; Making Babies; Unleashed; Losing Control; BMT: Something Borrowed; Bride Wars; Supercross; Notes: Was in over one hundred episodes of Shameless, and way back when over a hundred episodes of Reba.)

Mike Vogel – ( Known For: The Help; Cloverfield; Blue Valentine; She’s Out of My League; The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants; Secret Obsession; Battle of the Sexes; Havoc; The Case for Christ; The Boy; Across the Hall; The Deaths of Ian Stone; McCanick; Caffeine; Open Graves; Jake Squared; Heaven’s Rain; Future BMT: What’s Your Number?; BMT: Fantasy Island; The Texas Chainsaw Massacre; Poseidon; Rumor Has It…; Grind; Supercross; Notes: Y’all know Mike Vogel. Oh, maybe you don’t. He starred in Grind. He’s done a decent number of television shows over the years (like Under the Dome) and still gets bit parts in things (he was a dancer in Battle of the Sexes).)

Sophia Bush – ( Known For: Incredibles 2; Marshall; False Positive; Acts of Violence; Chalet Girl; Hard Luck Love Song; Table for Three; The Narrows; Future BMT: Van Wilder; John Tucker Must Die; The Hitcher; Stay Alive; BMT: Supercross; Notes: Was in over eighty episodes of Chicago P.D. She was briefly married to Chad Michael Murray, and apparently is an avid beekeeper.)

Budget/Gross – $30 million / Domestic: $3,102,550 (Worldwide: $3,344,431)

(Holy cow, that is horrendous. There is no way this cost $30 million. I bet they are piling in all of the sponsorships they got for all this and not really accounting for the fact that 90% of the production was completely paid for before anything was shot. Still horrendous.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 5% (4/74): While it showcases some cool stunts, Supercross feels like an infomercial for its titular sport, with undeveloped characters and a shopworn plot.

(I mean … yeah, that’s what the trailer looks like. I think this used to be more common in the 80s. I feel like there used to be skiing movies that would just be like “skiing is fun … also here are some shootouts on the slopes to keep you entertained, but also look at these vistas.”)

Reviewer Highlight: A brand-encrusted infomercial. – Scott Brown, Entertainment Weekly

Poster – Dirtbike Dudes Deluxe

(This poster is aggressive. I feel like it’s telling me I better like supercross or else I’m pretty much donzo. I love the font and like that they really went for it in the framing. The color scheme is god awful. Look at that white background and rest is basically sepia? Hurting my eyes. C+)

Tagline(s) – Fear nothing. Risk everything. (B)

(Alright, a little generic but I’m picking up what they are putting down. I think if they just added a third part that added a little supercross flair to the whole thing I might have really dug it.)

Keyword(s) – extreme-sport

Top 10: Mid90s (2018), Along Came Polly (2004), Blue Crush (2002), Lords of Dogtown (2005), Whip It (2009), Rad (1986), North Hollywood (2021), Chasing Mavericks (2012), Rollerball (2002), Orange County (2002)

Future BMT: 33.7 Along Came Polly (2004), 7.0 Chasing Mavericks (2012)

BMT: Rollerball (2002), Supercross (2005)

Matches: Rollerball (2002)

(Love it. The plot is a bit lame, but still fun to look at the last (real) one left in Chasing Mavericks. A Gerard Butler film we’ve inexplicably not seen? Yes please.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 19) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Mike Vogel is No. 2 billed in Supercross and No. 3 billed in The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, which also stars Jessica Biel (No. 1 billed) who is in New Year’s Eve (No. 4 billed) which also stars Robert De Niro (No. 1 billed) who is in Righteous Kill (No. 1 billed) which also stars Al Pacino (No. 2 billed) who is in 88 Minutes (No. 1 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (2 + 3) + (1 + 4) + (1 + 1) + (2 + 1) + (3 + 1) = 19. If we were to watch Blade: Trinity, Murder at 1600, and The Glass House we can get the HoE Number down to 16.

Notes – The “450 Nami” bikes, ridden by K.C and Rowdy, are in fact just dressed up Honda 450’s. (BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO)

The exterior shots of the Team Nami building are actually the Kawasaki Motorcycle Headquarters formerly located in Irvine, California. They did not, however, have a private test track next to the property.

Alana Austin also starred in the DCOM Motorcrossed.

Bio-Dome Preview

And just as suddenly as it started, they stopped falling. “Where…where are we?” stammers Jamie, disoriented from their final plunge. Patrick doesn’t know where they are either, and even worse, he doesn’t know why. To travel somewhere in time to deconvolute their lives? To destroy the Dongle at the source? To warn their past selves about the perils of stealing the Dongle in the first place? “Where’s not the question,” Patrick concludes after these scattered thoughts, “it’s why. So keep your head on a swivel and go with the flow.” With that Jamie and Patrick press a button and exit their tiny time travel dome and find themselves in… a much larger dome? “What thuuuuuu…” Jamie exclaims, “this must be the future! The world has devolved into a hellscape no longer able to support human life. My god,” he wails in anguish, “do you think this all happened because we had the Dongle stolen from us?” He grips Patrick shirt hard, pleading for him to tell him it isn’t so. “It isn’t so,” Patrick reassures him. There is something vaguely familiar about where they are. Something from their youth, something comforting. Within the dome they are surrounded by a dense jungle. Patrick points to a river and they begin to follow it. At a nearby hill he parts some shrubbery to get a better look at their location and notices a small placard on the ground. ‘Samanthius Kellibronicus,’ it reads, ‘The Lover’s Knot.’ With that, Patrick’s first impression is confirmed. They aren’t in the future. They actually aren’t very far in the past either. He points it out to Jamie. “Wait, is this…” Jamie starts and Patrick nods his head. “The gardens of the Donald C. Tillman Water Reclamation Plant,” Patrick finishes. No wonder it looked so familiar. That’s right! We are finishing 2021 and starting 2022 off hot with a classic from our youth. The theme for this cycle is Short & Sweet a.k.a. films under 90 minutes. Bio-Dome sure does fit the bill and was marking its 25 year anniversary in 2021 to boot. Let’s see how this one holds up. Let’s go!

Bio-Dome (1996) – BMeTric: 72.1; Notability: 42

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 1.6%; Notability: top 14.8%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 1.7%; Higher BMeT: Barb Wire, Kazaam, Striptease; Higher Notability: Eraser, The Fan, Jingle All the Way, Spy Hard, Chain Reaction, Daylight, Mulholland Falls, Eddie, The Associate, Up Close & Personal, Dear God, Sgt. Bilko, The Island of Dr. Moreau, Eye for an Eye, The Crow: City of Angels, The Adventures of Pinocchio, Space Truckers, In Love and War, Larger Than Life, The Glimmer Man, and 17 more; Lower RT: The Dentist, Big Bully, Ed, Ripe; Notes: You love to see the clean sweep on the BMeT for the year. We are pretty close to hitting up the top 10 for that year if I recall correctly. And 70+ BMeTric? Yes please, that is the highest in recent memory. I honestly find it a bit odd the rating for this one isn’t in the 3’s, that is where I would expect it.

Leonard Maltin – BOMB –  Two lay-abouts from Tuscon are sealed up for a year inside a Biosphere-like experimental habitat and drive the scientists in charge bonkers. A good comedy premise is trashed through crude writing, inept plotting, and having as heroes two worthless jerks we’re supposed to find lovable.

(You better believe this is a BOMB. There was a 0% chance Maltin would like it. Fun fact, this film has a 1 on Metacritic … a 1!)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4EWikCCfHJw/

(Wow the soundtrack … yeah as bad I remember it. This movie is a hilarious catastrophe. I can’t wait to watch it again.)

DirectorsJason Bloom – ( Known For: Viva Las Nowhere; BMT: Bio-Dome; Notes: In mostly a television director. He directed four episodes of Veronica Mars and nine episodes of iZombie.)

WritersAdam Leff – ( Known For: Last Action Hero; PCU; BMT: Bio-Dome; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Screenplay for Last Action Hero in 1994; Notes: He has a story credit for some animated short based on Last Action Hero.)

Mitchell Peck – ( BMT: Bio-Dome; Notes: He produced the film Priest.)

Jason Blumenthal – ( BMT: Bio-Dome; Notes: A huge producer including the television show Dr. Death and the upcoming Masters of the Universe film.)

Kip Koenig – ( Known For: How to Make the Cruelest Month; BMT: Bio-Dome; Notes: Wrote three episodes of Grey’s Anatomy and as a producer was nominated for two Emmys for that show.)

Scott Marcano – ( Known For: Sanitarium; BMT: Bio-Dome; Notes: Became a pretty big documentary filmmaker it seems, writing 10 short documentaries in 2015. They seem to be focused on police reform.)

ActorsPauly Shore – ( Known For: A Goofy Movie; How It Ends; Sandy Wexler; Guest House; Phantom of the Mall: Eric’s Revenge; Lost Angels; Opposite Day; Pauly Shore Is Dead; The Big Trip; Adopted; Future BMT: Encino Man; Son in Law; Class Act; The Wash; For Keeps?; 18 Again!; Jury Duty; BMT: Bio-Dome; Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star; In the Army Now; Razzie Notes: Winner for Worst Actor in 1996 for Jury Duty; and in 1997 for Big Bully, Bio-Dome, Carpool, and The Stupids; Winner for Worst New Star of the Decade in 2000 for Bio-Dome, Encino Man, and Jury Duty; Winner for Worst New Star for Encino Man in 1993; and Nominee for Worst Actor of the Century in 2000 for Bio-Dome, Encino Man, and Jury Duty; Notes: The Weasel! He was a big presence on MTV from 1990 and then a movie star from 1992 to 1997. He really didn’t appear in a major motion picture after that, it was a surprisingly short period of time that he was famous.)

Stephen Baldwin – ( Known For: The Usual Suspects; Born on the Fourth of July; Casualties of War; A Simple Twist of Fate; The Beast of War; The Sex Monster; Last Exit to Brooklyn; Magi; Sky Kids; I’m in Love with a Church Girl; Friends & Lovers; Mrs. Parker and the Vicious Circle; Bitter Harvest; Mercy; The Least of These: The Graham Staines Story; Six: The Mark Unleashed; Homeboy; Faith of Our Fathers; Back to the Jurassic; Fall Time; Future BMT: Fred Claus; The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas; Half Baked; Threesome; 8 Seconds; Posse; Fled; BMT: Bio-Dome; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Supporting Actor for The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas in 2001; Notes: Now maybe most famous as Justin Bieber’s father-in-law (lol). Asked his brother Alec whether he should do this movie and Alec told him it would likely end his career and he did it anyways.)

William Atherton – ( Known For: Die Hard; Die Hard 2; Ghostbusters; The Girl Next Door; The Last Samurai; Real Genius; The Pelican Brief; The Sugarland Express; Looking for Mr. Goodbar; Hoodlum; The Hindenburg; Clinical; The Day of the Locust; Tim and Eric’s Billion Dollar Movie; The Crow: Salvation; Into the Sun; The New Centurions; Class of ’44; Jinn; Frank & Jesse; Future BMT: Oscar; Mad City; BMT: Bio-Dome; No Mercy; Notes: Known for playing scoundrels, he was born on the exact same date as Arnold Schwarzenegger.)

Budget/Gross – $8.5 million / Domestic: $13,427,615 (Worldwide: $13,427,615)

(Whoops, terrible. You can’t really make money without making like $20 million with actual actors in a film, right?)

Rotten Tomatoes – 4% (1/25): Like its two obnoxious protagonists, this dreadfully unfunny Pauly Shore vehicle should remain separated from society.

(I honestly can’t believe it has any good reviews. I have to read this thing … boo, it isn’t really available. Remove it from the record Rotten Tomatoes, if you don’t you’re cowards.)

Reviewer Highlight: Brain-dead. Pauly Shore and Stephen Baldwin are slackers who drag their junk-food lives into the Bio-Dome, an experiment in ecologically correct living in Bio-Dome. On the scale of bottom-dwelling ne’er-do-wells, these two would have to rank somewhere between Beavis and microbial fungus. – Owen Gleiberman, Entertainment Weekly

Poster – Bio-Sklog

(It does feel like Pauly Shore either had some level of control in making the film, or the people making it at least attempted to understand the appeal of Shore’s stardome. There is no other explanation for this poster. It’s wild, but is trying to mimic the comedy stylings of Shore in a way that is at least interesting. Hate the colors, like the font, and everything else is insane. C-.)

Tagline(s) – Your dome away from home. (A+ for kookiness. D cause it’s literal nonsense.)

(Wooooahhhhh. Yeah! Hell yeah! This is going for it. So weird and I don’t get it, but yeah, give me more like this any day. It is terrible though… we all get that, right?)

Keyword(s) – environmentalism

Top 10: Avatar (2009), 21 Jump Street (2012), Holiday in the Wild (2019), Waterworld (1995), Point Break (2015), The Green Inferno (2013), Before Sunset (2004), The Pelican Brief (1993), Apostle (2018), First Reformed (2017)

Future BMT: 54.4 The Green Inferno (2013), 34.8 Hoot (2006), 31.1 Larger Than Life (1996), 11.3 Once Upon a Forest (1993)

BMT: Point Break (2015), Bio-Dome (1996), Fire Down Below (1997), Furry Vengeance (2010)

Matches: Bio-Dome (1996), The Ballad of Jack and Rose (2005), The Last Winter (2006)

(Is it just me or do they only release these films when Democratic presidents are in office … whatever. Hoot is a legendary film, I think it is one of the lowest grossing major releases ever. It made $8 million and was released to 3000 theaters.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 24) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Pauly Shore is No. 1 billed in Bio-Dome and No. 1 billed in In the Army Now, which also stars Art LaFleur (No. 7 billed) who is in Cobra (No. 6 billed) which also stars Sylvester Stallone (No. 1 billed) who is in The Expendables 3 (No. 1 billed) which also stars Jason Statham (No. 2 billed) who is in In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (No. 1 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (1 + 1) + (7 + 6) + (1 + 1) + (2 + 1) + (3 + 1) = 24. If we were to watch Encino Man, and Extraordinary Measures we can get the HoE Number down to 13.

Notes – Alec Baldwin told his brother, Stephen Baldwin, that doing this movie could end his acting career.

Kylie Minogue has called this film her “worst career move”. She said it’s the only thing she has done in her professional life that her father ridicules her for.

In real life, Jack Black and Kyle Gass perform together as the musical group Tenacious D.

The Biodome compound is the Donald C. Tillman Water Reclamation Plant in Van Nuys, California, which has been used in dozens of other movies and television shows.

The motto of the community college Jen and Monique attend is “nothing to be ashamed of.”

According to an interview on Last Call with Carson Daly: Episode dated 5 November 2008 (2008),Dana Gould and Harland Williams were the original stars of this film.” As Williams described it, “…They did an open-ended cattle call for Bio-Dome. And I guess Dana and myself were kind of like the emerging funny guys around town … they whittled it down, wildfingers, and it got down to me and the wildcat over here. . . We were locked in, and then me and Dana would go over to some diner on Larchmont, sit in the booth, and eat corned beef, and recite our lines.” Gould and Williams recall a deal memo for them to have the job, and the two were deep in planning for the roles. Williams bought fake bugs to practice for a bug eating scene and Gould simply dreamed of “What will it be like when we’ve done it – when we’ve made it!” Gould expanded on Williams’ testimony, saying, “It was a new director, I think his name was Steven Brill.” It is unclear from the interview if Gould remembered the name incorrectly or if plans for a director changed. “And he was like, ‘Yeah, I’m going to do this movie, and you guys are going to be it, you’re like unknowns, we’re going to break you and it’s going to be great!’ And then what apparently happened was that he went to the studio and said, ‘I’ve got these two unknowns…’ and they went, ”Naw, we have these guys to deals,’ and he went, ‘Okay!’ “

Roger Clinton: Professor Bloom, who presumably teaches at the film’s fictional college, Arizona Tech. He is wearing a shirt with the phrase “Thriving on Chaos” written on top of caricatured drawings of Bud and Doyle. After Jen autographs his shirt, he mentions to her and Monique that he’s writing a song about Bud and Doyle.

During the final sequence with the remote control and the exploding coconuts, the timers on the remote and the computer sync up with the time in the film.

Awards – Winner for the Razzie Award for Worst Actor (Pauly Shore, Tom Arnold, 1997)

Bulletproof (1996) Preview

“Welcome to Raccoon City!” exclaims, Lou, the head of the Raccoon City Apartment Complex Welcoming Committee (RCACWC). He smiles at both Jamie and Patrick and then frowns a little at Kyle. “Uh, is he OK? You look a little green around the gills.” Kyle shrugs and Jamie and Patrick explain that he’s just a little love sick. “No need to worry. It’s not some big time zombie virus.” At that they all laugh and laugh and laugh. “But seriously, Mr. Cash, we need a little help. We need a little adventure. We just sit around this apartment all day and our heads are spinning. Can the RCACWC help?” Lou Cash smirks, reminiscing about the last great adventure he had. “The year was 1998,” he begins and proceeds to launch into a very long story about his days on the police force and a time that he had to investigate an old rich person’s house. “Were there ghosts?” Jamie asks out of nowhere. “Uh, no,” Lou responds confused and Kyle yawns in disappointment. Reading the room, Lou speeds through the latter half of his story, “and so you see, adventure is what you make of it and perhaps… it’s been staring you in the face this whole time.” He smiles and waits expectedly. But Jamie, Patrick and Kyle are now in the mood for ghosts and are already plucking their copy of Ghost off the shelf. Perhaps the rare combination of Patrick Swayze’s guide to love and a high stakes thrill-a-minute money laundering plot line will solve all of their problems. Lou is left forgotten at the door. He throws his hands up in exasperation and pulls a gun out of his pocket. “He’s got a gun!” screams Jamie. They wanted adventure and now Lou Cash is delivering. That’s right! We are going back 25 years to pick up an early Adam Sandler. It’s an old school buddy cop(ish) storyline with a Sandler/Wayans flair. Let’s hope its just as offensive as I think it might be. Let’s go!

Bulletproof (1996) – BMeTric: 37.4; Notability: 40

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 15.2%; Notability: top 17.2%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 3.3%; Higher BMeT: Barb Wire, Kazaam, Striptease, Bio-Dome, The Island of Dr. Moreau, Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace, Ed, The Crow: City of Angels, Hellraiser: Bloodline, The Stupids, Mr. Wrong, Spy Hard, Poison Ivy II, Solo, The Glimmer Man, Eddie, D3: The Mighty Ducks, Maximum Risk, Jingle All the Way, Bordello of Blood, and 18 more; Higher Notability: Eraser, The Fan, Jingle All the Way, Spy Hard, Chain Reaction, Daylight, Mulholland Falls, Eddie, The Associate, Up Close & Personal, Dear God, Sgt. Bilko, The Island of Dr. Moreau, Eye for an Eye, The Crow: City of Angels, The Adventures of Pinocchio, Space Truckers, In Love and War, Larger Than Life, Joe’s Apartment, and 23 more; Lower RT: Big Bully, The Dentist, Ed, Ripe, Bio-Dome, Kazaam, Mr. Wrong, Spy Hard; Notes: I do like it when films remind me that IMDb did something in 2014 on the new year to make some films’ ratings jump a ridiculous degree. Anyways, you can tell we still have a ton of work to do on 1996 when we have Bio-Dome and Big Bully sitting on the table.

Leonard Maltin – BOMB –  A racial inversion of 48HRS. without the redeeming craft. Undercover cop Wayans teams up with Sandler, the crook he’s trying to bust. Their fortunes and ambitions are unified – often acrimoniously – by a vindictive drug kingpin/car dealer played by a pitifully hammy Caan. Once great cinematographer Dickerson squanders his talent here directing a sociopathic mix of graphic violence and slapstick. A catastrophe of continuity to boot.

(First, I’ve never seen a review go so hard on continuity in a film. But “sociopathic mix of graphic violence and slapstick” is one of the greatest things I’ve ever heard. Honestly, I think a lot of action films these days are getting pretty close to that as well. Shoot someone in the face and sprinkle in some quips, boys.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yfzAGAQvsz8/

(The guitar licks at the end!! It looks really terrible. Quips by Sandler, way too much punching, and just seems like a worse version of Midnight Run.)

DirectorsErnest R. Dickerson – ( Known For: Juice; Ambushed; Double Play; Blind Faith; Future BMT: Tales from the Crypt: Demon Knight; Surviving the Game; Bones; BMT: Bulletproof; Never Die Alone; Notes: Worked as the cinematographer for Spike Lee for his early films, whom he bet at Howard University.)

WritersJoe Gayton – ( Known For: Faster; Uncommon Valor; Sweet Jane; Shout; Warm Summer Rain; BMT: Bulletproof; Notes: His brother is also a screenwriter, they both wrote on Hell on Wheels and have written a few movies together.)

Lewis Colick – ( Known For: October Sky; Unlawful Entry; Ladder 49; Ghosts of Mississippi; Beyond the Sea; The Dirt Bike Kid; Future BMT: Charlie St. Cloud; Judgment Night; Domestic Disturbance; BMT: Bulletproof; Notes: He wrote a ton of films in the 80s and 90s. His last film was in 2010, but he is attached to both the Flaming Hot Cheetos movie and the Chicken Soup for the Soul film.)

ActorsDamon Wayans – ( Known For: Last Action Hero; Beverly Hills Cop; The Last Boy Scout; Roxanne; Earth Girls Are Easy; Colors; I’m Gonna Git You Sucka; Bamboozled; Hollywood Shuffle; Punchline; The Great White Hype; Farce of the Penguins; Future BMT: Major Payne; Look Who’s Talking Too; Celtic Pride; Blankman; Mo’ Money; Marci X; BMT: Bulletproof; Notes: As part of In Living Color he was nominated for three Emmys. His family is filled with comedians including his three brothers and his son.)

Adam Sandler – ( Known For: Uncut Gems; Punch-Drunk Love; The Wedding Singer; Murder Mystery; Happy Gilmore; Billy Madison; Hotel Transylvania; 50 First Dates; Hubie Halloween; Hotel Transylvania 3: Summer Vacation; Anger Management; The Do-Over; Reign Over Me; Funny People; The Meyerowitz Stories; Hotel Transylvania 2; Spanglish; The Cobbler; The Week Of; Sandy Wexler; Future BMT: The Longest Yard; Eight Crazy Nights; Mixed Nuts; The Waterboy; Big Daddy; Click; Coneheads; You Don’t Mess with the Zohan; The Hot Chick; Mr. Deeds; Airheads; Men, Women & Children; The Animal; Bedtime Stories; Dirty Work; BMT: That’s My Boy; Grown Ups; Just Go with It; Grown Ups 2; Blended; Pixels; Little Nicky; The Ridiculous 6; Jack and Jill; Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo; I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry; Zookeeper; Going Overboard; Bulletproof; Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo; Razzie Notes: Winner for Worst Screenplay, Worst Actor, Worst Actress, and Worst Screen Couple for Jack and Jill in 2012; Winner for Worst Actor in 2000 for Big Daddy; in 2012 for Just Go with It; and in 2013 for That’s My Boy; Nominee for Worst Screenplay in 2000 for Big Daddy; in 2001 for Little Nicky; in 2012 for Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star; and in 2014 for Grown Ups 2; Nominee for Worst Actor in 1997 for Bulletproof, and Happy Gilmore; in 1999 for The Waterboy; in 2001 for Little Nicky; in 2003 for Eight Crazy Nights, and Mr. Deeds; in 2008 for I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry; in 2014 for Grown Ups 2; in 2015 for Blended; in 2016 for Pixels, and The Cobbler; and in 2021 for Hubie Halloween; Nominee for Worst Screen Combo in 2016 for The Cobbler; and in 2021 for Hubie Halloween; and Nominee for Worst Screen Couple in 2008 for I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry; in 2012 for Just Go with It; and in 2013 for That’s My Boy; Notes: Our 15th Sandler film for BMT and we have 15 to go … my god, he’s made so many. Someday Sandler, someday we will complete your filmography!)

James Caan – ( Known For: Elf; The Godfather; The Godfather: Part II; Misery; Santa’s Slay; A Bridge Too Far; Dick Tracy; Dogville; Queen Bees; Get Smart; Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs; 1941; Bottle Rocket; Detachment; Thief; El Dorado; Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2; The Yards; Middle Men; The Tale of The Princess Kaguya; BMT: That’s My Boy; Eraser; Bulletproof; Notes: Played football for Michigan State and is the father of Scott Caan. Was apparently on the professional rodeo circuit for nine years.)

Budget/Gross – N/A / Domestic: $21,576,954 (Worldwide: $22,611,954)

(That seems okay for 1998. You’d want more, but that doesn’t seem too catastrophic as Sandler at the time must have been relatively cheap.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 8% (3/39): In addition to its ability to deflect gunfire, Bulletproof proves sadly impervious to humor, logic, or worthwhile viewing.

(Shots fired. That seems to be the general gist of things. That it is just a preposterous story with negative laughs.)

Reviewer Highlight: The film’s action elements are so preposterous that the sequence of events seems almost improvised. – Stephen Holden, New York Times

Poster – Bulletproof to the Head

(Classic poster. I can even imagine walking by it in the hallway of a theater. That’s mostly what it has going for it cause the color scheme is nonexistent and the font boring. I think the framing is the most interesting aspect. Looking down that long desert highway. C.)

Tagline(s) – Tough cop. Hostile witness. (C-)

(Yeah and? I’m not sure if this is a play on something and I’m missing it? Just seems like they are pointing out that one is a tough cop and the other is a hostile witness, which is indeed the plot of the film. Doesn’t offend my senses though.)

Keyword(s) – undercover-cop

Top 10: Baby Driver (2017), Spiral (2021), 21 Jump Street (2012), The Whole Nine Yards (2000), Sin City (2005), Memento (2000), Batman Begins (2005), Reservoir Dogs (1992), The Fast and the Furious (2001), Bad Boys for Life (2020)

Future BMT: 59.8 The Mod Squad (1999), 54.2 Spiral (2021), 49.3 Showtime (2002), 46.9 Cop Out (2010), 45.3 Tomcats (2001), 41.5 Boiling Point (1993), 41.0 Brick Mansions (2014), 38.1 Fled (1996), 37.7 Action Jackson (1988), 36.5 Death Warrant (1990)

BMT: The Fast and the Furious (2001), Fast & Furious (2009), Gone in 60 Seconds (2000), Gangster Squad (2013), Ride Along (2014), Hard to Kill (1990), Beverly Hills Cop III (1994), Exit to Eden (1994), Exit Wounds (2001), Ride Along 2 (2016), Stone Cold (1991), Bulletproof (1996), No Mercy (1986)

Matches: Reservoir Dogs (1992), The Fast and the Furious (2001), Fast & Furious (2009), City of Lies (2018), Street Kings (2008), A Scanner Darkly (2006), Undercover Brother (2002), Exit to Eden (1994), Nighthawks (1981), Rush (1991), Superfast! (2015), Bulletproof (1996), The Mod Squad (1999), Renegades (1989), Ten Violent Women (1982), Bloodsport: The Dark Kumite (1999), The Proposal (2001), Jill Rips (2000), Lowball (1996), Strapped for Danger II: Undercover Vice (2020), Narx (2011), Black Lightning (2008)

(Done a bunch of these now. Given we are about to watch another JCVD film I’m pretty excited to eventually watch Death Warrant.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 11) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Adam Sandler is No. 2 billed in Bulletproof and No. 1 billed in Jack and Jill, which also stars Al Pacino (No. 3 billed) who is in 88 Minutes (No. 1 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (2 + 1) + (3 + 1) + (3 + 1) = 11. There is no shorter path at the moment.

Notes – James Caan said of working with the leads, “playing the heavy between these two clowns took a lot of serious concentration.”

Colton’s mansion is the same one used in Beverly Hills Cop (1984). Damon Wayans had a minor role in that film as the server who gave Eddie Murphy the bananas.

Director Ernest R. Dickerson was very critical about the movie, saying the movie was “castrated” because of the producers.

When Damon Wayans hosted Saturday Night Live (1975) in 1994, Adam Sandler had an idea to do an action movie together. A year later, he sent Wayans the script for this film.

James Woods was originally chosen to play Frank Colton. He had to drop out due to scheduling conflicts with Ghosts of Mississippi (1996).

Producer Robert Simonds knew Damon Wayans could be a leading man after seeing The Last Boy Scout (1991). “That’s what we needed, a leading man who could get the laughs when he had to.”

Ernest R. Dickerson said that film was trying to be 48 Hrs. (1982) for the 1990s.

Body Count: 26.

Awards – Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Actor (Adam Sandler, 1997)

Mr. Wrong Preview

“Wait!” says Patrick, just as it appears that that piece of shit hack Manfred Long is going to destroy him with the power of the Dongle. “You don’t understand. I’m not just hard to kill, I’m impossible to kill. If you try to use the Dongle one me it will destroy the world.” Manfred squints his eyes in suspicion. “Explain,” he says slowly, still not entirely believing. Patrick launches into an elaborate story about how through the power of eastern medicine he established an unbreakable bond between him and the Dongle. Thus if the Dongle destroys him, then the Dongle itself is destroyed and thus cannot destroy him. “It’s a singularity, you see?” Patrick finishes, wiping chalk from his hands and looking with satisfaction at the blackboard full of equations. Manfred scoffs, “As if I care. Destroying you will be worth destroying the world, just to see the look on your face.” Patrick stumbles backwards again telling Manfred to wait. “I… OK… to save the world I can break the bond. I just… I need some tools from my apartment.” Manfred sighs and nods. Save the world, destroy the world. It’s all the same to him as long as Patrick ends up dead. After arriving at the apartment Manfred looks around. “So where is this so-called ‘tool’ you need to break the bond? Don’t tell me it’s in this giant, unwieldy, obviously useless box.” he says, thumping his hand on the giant crate still taking up 95% of the apartment. Patrick turns with a twinkle in his eye. “Ah, I see,” Manfred says with a smirk, “there never was a tool. Just buying some time. Am I right?” But Patrick’s smile only gets bigger. “No, you’re very wrong. So wrong they might even call you…” That’s right! We are watching the 1996 black comedy Mr. Wrong starring Ellen DeGeneres and Bill Pullman. Celebrating its 25th anniversary this year we get to find out if perhaps 25 years later it’s better than people thought (hint: probably not). Let’s go!

“And always keep a safe!” Kyle says. He sweeps a very patriotic American flag aside to reveal a safe. “But we never kept anything in it,” Kyle says confused. But Jamie shakes his head, “I don’t think we ever had to… it’ll contain what we need, when we need it. This is Party Town, USA remember,” he says with a wink. With a turn he opens the safe and Kyle’s mouth falls open in shock. “Holy…” That’s right! We’re pairing Mr. Wrong with another misguided marriage-centric comedy called Holy Matrimony where a woman ends up being forced to marry a literal child… so… you can see why that never made it to theaters. Let’s go!

Mr. Wrong (1996) – BMeTric: 52.7; Notability: 40

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 4.4%; Notability: top 17.2%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 2.9%; Higher BMeT: Barb Wire, Kazaam, Striptease, Bio-Dome, The Island of Dr. Moreau, Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace, Ed, The Crow: City of Angels, Hellraiser: Bloodline, The Stupids, Mr. Wrong; Higher Notability: Eraser, The Fan, Jingle All The Way, Spy Hard, Chain Reaction, Daylight, The Associate, Eddie, Mulholland Falls, Up Close & Personal, Dear God, Sgt. Bilko, Eye for an Eye, The Island of Dr. Moreau, The Adventures of Pinocchio, The Crow: City of Angels, Space Truckers, Larger Than Life, In Love and War, Joe’s Apartment, and 23 more; Lower RT: The Dentist, Ed, Big Bully, Adrenalin: Fear the Rush, Ripe, Bio-Dome, Kazaam; Notes: Just about top ten BMeTric of the year which is pretty amazing for a film I’ve barely heard of. That makes sense though since the IMDb rating is below 4.0! And this isn’t some recent thing either, it has always been below 4.0. Incredible edible cred.

Leonard Maltin – 2 stars –  Single DeGeneres finds the perfect man in Pullman … or so she thinks. Not the light, funny romantic comedy you might expect, but a dark-humored attempt at satire on stalking. DeGeneres, in her starring debut, turns in a fine performance opposite the always reliable Pullman, but an uneven script works against the cast.

(Huh, interesting. Two out of four stars is a lot higher than I would have expected for a bad comedy. I also like Pullman, so maybe I’ll also kind of dig it.)

Trailer –  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IKuR9Npr1bY 

(Haha the Honey I Shrunk Your Kids theme straight into Now That’s What I Call Music soundtracks. The movie looks wild. Maybe just a people-change-after-getting-married situation, but we’ll see.)

DirectorsNick Castle – ( Known For: The Last Starfighter; The Boy Who Could Fly; Tap; Tag: The Assassination Game; Delivering Milo; The Seat Filler; Future BMT: Major Payne; Dennis the Menace; BMT: Mr. Wrong; Notes: He played The Shape (i.e. Michael Myers) in Halloween, and has reprised the role in the recent films. Wrote Hook.)

WritersChris Matheson – ( Known For: Bill & Ted Face the Music; Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure; A Goofy Movie; Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey; Imagine That; Rapture-Palooza; Evil Alien Conquerors; Future BMT: Mom and Dad Save the World; BMT: Mr. Wrong; Notes: Had cameos in all three Bill & Ted films as an Ugle Waiter, Ugly Seance Member, and Ugly Demon.)

Kerry Ehrin – ( Future BMT: Inspector Gadget; BMT: Mr. Wrong; Notes: Has produced a ton of television and wrote on many of the shows as well, including Friday Night Lights. She was nominated for Emmys for that and The Wonder Years.)

Craig Munson – ( BMT: Mr. Wrong; Notes: His only other credit is a single episode of Cold Feet which ran for 8 episodes in 1999.)

ActorsEllen DeGeneres – ( Known For: Finding Nemo; Finding Dory; Doctor Dolittle; Edtv; Future BMT: Coneheads; The Love Letter; Goodbye Lover; BMT: Mr. Wrong; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst New Star for Mr. Wrong in 1997; Notes: Famous stand-up comedian who notably came out in the late 90s. She had one of the biggest talk shows around until it somewhat abruptly ended amid controversy.)

Bill Pullman – ( Known For: Casper; The Equalizer; Independence Day; A League of Their Own; Spaceballs; The Equalizer 2; Dark Waters; Wyatt Earp; Sleepless in Seattle; Lost Highway; While You Were Sleeping; Lake Placid; Battle of the Sexes; The Guilty; The High Note; Singles; American Ultra; The Last Seduction; Malice; Ruthless People; Future BMT: Scary Movie 4; The Grudge; Newsies; Brokedown Palace; The Favour; Lucky Numbers; Sibling Rivalry; Nobel Son; BMT: Independence Day: Resurgence; Mr. Wrong; Notes: Was I think somewhat notably a “Baxter” in romantic comedies in the 90s (the bland guy who the leading lady left for the leading man). Was most recently in the anthology series The Sinner.)

Joan Cusack – ( Known For: Addams Family Values; School of Rock; Sixteen Candles; The Perks of Being a Wallflower; Toy Story 4; High Fidelity; Toy Story 3; Toy Story 2; Say Anything…; Klaus; Instant Family; Working Girl; Grosse Pointe Blank; My Sister’s Keeper; Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping; Looney Tunes: Back in Action; In & Out; Let It Snow; Runaway Bride; Friends with Money; Future BMT: Class; Chicken Little; Snatched; Where the Heart Is; Raising Helen; Nine Months; Mars Needs Moms; The Allnighter; Hoodwinked Too! Hood vs. Evil; Corrina, Corrina; Martian Child; BMT: Confessions of a Shopaholic; Toys; Mr. Wrong; Notes: Nominated for two Oscars for In & Out and Working Girl. Was also notably in a recent anthology series called Homecoming.)

Budget/Gross – $19 million / Domestic: $12,825,141 (Worldwide: $12,825,141)

(Pretty rough. Probably one of the main reasons Ellen wouldn’t get another leading role and instead end up being just a heavy hitter on television.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 7% (2/29): A mean-spirited joke without a punchline, Mr. Wrong is so painfully unfunny that Ellen DeGeneres and Bill Pullman’s lack of chemistry feels like a total drag despite being the point.

(Wow, that is a low score! I didn’t realize just how poorly it was received. Well, I don’t like unfunny comedies, so this should be a delight.)

Reviewer Highlight: As directed sloppily by Nick Castle, this comedy barely lets its main characters develop, even though either of them could be great fun. – Janet Maslin, New York Times

Poster – Mr. Sklog

(Very 90’s. I can imagine the poster hanging in the theater hoping to entice people. Bad font and weird framing, but at least a bit fun and obviously conveys something about the movie. C+)

Tagline(s) – He loved her from afar. It wasn’t far enough. (B)

(Makes almost no sense with the plot of the film. This reads like he’s a crazy stalker when that’s not really the case… or at least for a big part of the film. Anyway, could be shorter, but clever enough.)

Keyword(s) – date

Top 10: Free Guy (2021), Venom (2018), American Psycho (2000), The Departed (2006), Deadpool (2016), Once Upon a Time in America (1984), Game Night (2018), Lolita (1997), Good Will Hunting (1997), Spider-Man 3 (2007)

Future BMT: 71.2 The Animal (2001), 65.4 102 Dalmatians (2000), 62.7 My Super Ex-Girlfriend (2006), 52.3 Just My Luck (2006), 49.0 Blank Cheque (1994), 48.2 Employee of the Month (2006), 45.8 The Perfect Man (2005), 41.4 Boiling Point (1993), 40.3 Head Over Heels (2001), 39.1 Good Burger (1997)

BMT: Police Academy (1984), Batman Forever (1995), Blended (2014), The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009), A Walk to Remember (2002), Jack and Jill (2011), Crossroads (2002), Untraceable (2008), Vampire in Brooklyn (1995), Jade (1995), Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son (2011), Diary of a Mad Black Woman (2005), Welcome to Mooseport (2004), Never Talk to Strangers (1995), Bangkok Dangerous (2008), Mr. Wrong (1996), Bye Bye Love (1995)

Matches: It Follows (2014), The Notebook (2004), Office Space (1999), Megamind (2010), The 40 Year-Old Virgin (2005), The Wedding Singer (1998), The Blob (1988), Blended (2014), One Day (2011), The Ugly Truth (2009), Holidate (2020), Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates (2016), St. Elmo’s Fire (1985), The Voices (2014), A Goofy Movie (1995), Better Off Dead… (1985), The Funhouse (1981), Terms of Endearment (1983), The American (2010), Employee of the Month (2006), The Ides of March (2011), Man Up (2015), Hannah and Her Sisters (1986), License to Drive (1988), Secret Admirer (1985), I Could Never Be Your Woman (2007), Things to Do in Denver When You’re Dead (1995), A Love Song for Bobby Long (2004), Blue Steel (1990), My Super Ex-Girlfriend (2006), Win a Date with Tad Hamilton! (2004), Nightmare Sisters (1988), Must Love Dogs (2005), … (and a bunch more)

(Funny that so many of them seemed to have some out in 1995 specifically. And yeah, there was a date (probably) in all of these films. What a weird keyword. Does show how decent the matches are though, a lot of those do seem like they are focused on dating in a way.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 17) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Joan Cusack is No. 3 billed in Mr. Wrong and No. 3 billed in Toys, which also stars LL Cool J (No. 6 billed) who is in Rollerball (No. 2 billed) which also stars Chris Klein (No. 1 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 2 billed) => (3 + 3) + (6 + 2) + (1 + 2) = 17. If we were to watch Jack, and The Glass House we can get the HoE Number down to 14.

Notes – Lisa Kudrow screentested for the role of Annie.

Ed McMahon screentested for the role of Dick Braxton.

David Arquette, Adrien Brody, Ben Affleck, and Noah Wyle screentested for the role of Walter.

Most likely, the inspiration for this title is S01-E03 of the Ellen sitcom, where she dates Mr. Perfect off personal ads & Adam tells her the date sounds creepy and must have something wrong with him.

Awards – Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst New Star (Ellen DeGeneres, 1997)

Kazaam Preview

Jamie and Lindsey turn a corner heading for the stairs to the rooftop only to stop short at the sight of the cyborg bad movie twins. They are talking with a man hidden in the shadows who shouts for the cyborgs to stop them. Scrambling up to the roof, Jamie follows the steamy water pipe until finally he and Lindsey stand by two dials. “Here goes nothing,” they say, initiating the emergency electronic wash. With a loud boom they are blown backwards across the rooftop, landing at the feet of the cyborgs. But before they can destroy Jamie and Lindsey with their fearsome robot strength a voice rings out, “not so fast!” Freed from their computer simulation prison by the water and returned to their young, super athletic bodies, Patrick and Kyle stand ready for a fight. The shadowy figure approaches, slowly clapping. “Impressive,” he says softly, “I knew you were clever Patrick, but I didn’t think you had it in you to match wits with me. Certainly not your meathead brother there and his sad bunch of friends. But I guess there was some reason you always were our publisher’s favorite.” And with that he steps from the shadows and Jamie and Patrick gasp. That piece of shit Manfred Long. “You goddamn hack,” Patrick spits, “I should have known if there was anyone who would shamelessly rip-off the BMT brand it would be you.” But Manfred just chuckles at that and waves the Cyborgs over to Jamie, Kyle, and Lindsey. “Take them,” he says, “I want to have a little chat with Patrick here. See if we can’t make a deal. I now have the power to make any wish you want come true… as long as you play ball.” And with that he holds up the Obsidian Dongle. That’s right! It’s the original Wishmaster of the NBA (as everyone called him) Shaq and the 90’s rapping genie classic Kazaam. I think probably this was just a bit past prime time for Patrick and I so I don’t think I’ve ever seen it. Let’s go!

The cyborgs approach Jamie, Kyle and Lindsey with their evil dead eyes glowing red. Gulp! Looks like the end for our heroes, that is until they hear a whistle from above and they see Rachel the Pretzel Girl soaring in on one of their hang gliders. “You feeling lucky, punks?” she shouts and Kyle pumps his fist at her wholly original quote. Let’s go! We are taking a risk with a Troma film for the Kazaam pairing and watching Getting Lucky about a Leprechaun that gives a nerd a chance at… well, getting lucky. Let’s go!

Kazaam (1996) – BMeTric: 83.8; Notability: 30

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 0.4%; Notability: top 28.0%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 2.5%; Higher BMeT: Barb Wire; Higher Notability: Eraser, The Fan, Spy Hard, Jingle All The Way, Chain Reaction, Daylight, Eddie, The Associate, Up Close & Personal, Mulholland Falls, Dear God, Sgt. Bilko, Eye for an Eye, The Island of Dr. Moreau, The Adventures of Pinocchio, The Crow: City of Angels, Space Truckers, In Love and War, Joe’s Apartment, High School High, and 50 more; Lower RT: The Dentist, Adrenalin: Fear the Rush, Ed, Big Bully, Ripe, Bio-Dome; Notes: Wow that BMeTric is gaudy. How have we avoided doing this film until now? A sub-3.0 on IMDb is absurd for such a wide release, it is incredible.

RogerEbert.com – 1.5 stars – “Kazaam” is a textbook example of a filmed deal, in which adults assemble a package that reflects their own interests and try to sell it to kids. How else to explain a children’s movie where the villains are trying to steal a bootleg recording so they can sell pirated copies of it? What do kids know, or care, about that? The movie stars Shaquille O’Neal, the Orlando Magic’s superstar center, as Kazaam, a genie who is released from captivity in an old boom box and has to perform three wishes for a little kid (Francis Capra). Right there you have a wonderful illustration of the movie’s creative bankruptcy. Assigned to construct a starring vehicle for Shaq, the filmmakers looked at him, saw a tall bald black man, and said, “Hey, he can be a genie!” At which point, somebody should have said, “OK, that’s level one. Now let’s take it to level three.” Shaq has already proven he can act (in “Blue Chips,” the 1994 movie about college basketball). Here he shows he can be likable in a children’s movie. What he does not show is good judgment in his choice of material. This is a tired concept, written by the numbers. Kids old enough to know about Shaq as a basketball star will be too old to enjoy the movie. Younger kids won’t find much to engage them. And O’Neal shouldn’t have used the movie to promote his own career as a rap artist; the soundtrack sounds less like music to entertain kids than like a trial run for a Shaq album.

(Wow, he cuts right to the core. And yeah, that’s called a great B-plot. This movie sounds kind of amazing for that reason alone, I love B-plots that make no sense for a kids movie.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fFVaxa1UKNg/

(Looks fun. Although now I remember why we haven’t done this one yet … it’s a kids movie. This is definitively a kids movie. Just give me all B-plot. Recut the entire film into just the B-plot.)

DirectorsPaul Michael Glaser – (Known For: The Running Man; The Cutting Edge; Future BMT: Band of the Hand; The Air Up There; BMT: Kazaam; Notes: Nominated for an Emmy for directing an episode of Miami Vice. He played Starsky in Starsky and Hutch. He also directed a great Criminal Minds episode starring Jason Alexander called Masterpiece.)

WritersPaul Michael Glaser – (BMT: Kazaam; Notes: Interestingly his only real attempt at writing apparently. I have to imagine he did uncredited stuff previously and probably just did too much tickering as the director and got a credit.)

Christian Ford – (BMT: Kazaam; Notes: Wrote an episode of Deep Space Nine which I can already tell I was probably fuming at since Kai Winn played a big role in it (she was a central long-running villain in the show).)

Roger Soffer – (Known For: Throne of Elves; BMT: Kazaam; Notes: Was Ford’s writing partner. Looks like they must have parted ways at some point since Soffer got his Throne of Elves credit in 2017 well after the bulk of their writing work.)

ActorsShaquille O’Neal – (Known For: Hubie Halloween; The Lego Movie; The House Bunny; What Men Want; Uncle Drew; Thunderstruck; Future BMT: Scary Movie 4; Good Burger; After the Sunset; The Smurfs 2; Blue Chips; The Wash; BMT: Grown Ups 2; Blended; Jack and Jill; Freddy Got Fingered; Kazaam; Steel; Show Dogs; Chairman of the Board; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Actor for Steel in 1998; Nominee for Worst Supporting Actor for Blended in 2015; and Nominee for Worst New Star for Blue Chips in 1995; Notes: Y’all know Shaq. Probably the best NBA actor ever, even if he doesn’t always choose the best roles. A four time NBA champion with the Lakers and Heat, he might be the most dominant big man in history (and if not that, he’s at least the most unique given his body shape).)

Francis Capra – (Known For: A Bronx Tale; SLC Punk!; Veronica Mars; Blood and Bone; Free Willy 2: The Adventure Home; Rampart; Black Irish; Dishdogz; Future BMT: A Simple Wish; BMT: Crank; Kazaam; Notes: Not related to Frank Capra. Amazingly I recognize him mostly from his adult role as Eli Navarro (Weevil) in Veronica Mars. He looks quite different now obviously.)

Ally Walker – (Known For: While You Were Sleeping; Singles; Happy, Texas; Welcome to Hollywood; When the Bough Breaks; Mischief Night; Wonderful World; Eye of the Storm; The Seventh Coin; Future BMT: Bed of Roses; Steal Big Steal Little; BMT: Universal Soldier; Kazaam; Notes: Has been pretty much continuously employed in major television roles since the mid-90s besides taking a 10 year break while she was raising a family in the early 2000s. Was the star of the show Profiler.)

Budget/Gross – $20 million / Domestic: $18,937,262 (Worldwide: $18,937,262)

(Yep, a huge bomb, and likely Ebert is right in this case. There is no way this didn’t derail any cinematic career Shaq could have had (well … until he became a staple of Adam Sandler comedies I suppose, he was in at least four of those).)

Rotten Tomatoes – 5% (2/37): Crafted from a mix of genre clichés, Kazaam doesn’t know what kind of film it wants to be, and Shaq’s larger-than-life charisma is stifled by rote filmmaking and an unimaginative story.

(Yeah, sounds about right. Two good reviews, and they basically just say Shaq is charming and the film old-school but fine.)

Reviewer Highlight: Kazaam never brings off the trick we most want to see: It fails to make the jolly, 7-foot-1 Shaq larger than life. – Owen Gleiberman, Entertainment Weekly

Poster – Sha-blam

(Love the font, hate everything else. Like Ebert said it makes you wonder about the choices Shaq was making at the time. Like he can actually act and is charming as hell and yet he apparently was so keen on being a rapper that he did this shit. The poster looks like it’s for a straight-to-video talking cat movie or something. D)

Tagline(s) – The world’s most powerful genie has just met his match. (F)

(The world’s most powerful genie… as opposed to all those less powerful genies we are familiar with? It’s amazing that they were so set on using this generic tagline that they tried to force it. It no longer even makes sense. I think I hate it… yup, I hate it.)

Keyword(s) – genie

Top 10: Aladdin (2019), Bedazzled (2000), Aladdin (1992), Weird Science (1985), Aladdin (2020), Interstate 60: Episodes of the Road (2002), Kazaam (1996), Burying the Ex (2014), The Tale of Despereaux (2008), Five Children and It (2004)

Future BMT: 13.9 Three Wishes (1995)

BMT: Kazaam (1996)

Matches: Kazaam (1996), The Lamp (1987), Miracle Beach (1992), Wishman (1992), Pretty Cool Too (2007), Wish Me Luck (1995), Djinn (2008), Wildest Dreams (1990), The Incredible Genie (1999), Shivers Down Your Spine (2015), Jinn (2016), Wishful Thinking the Series (2015)

(So few films with a genie … that somehow feels wrong, but yet, yeah … an all powerful, immortal being doesn’t leave much original storytelling ideas. The actual matches are mostly pretty small, Kazaam is the only major release. That is, if you want to be specific about the difference between a Djinn and a genie (this movie certainly does …))

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 14) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Efren Ramirez is No. 4 billed in Kazaam and No. 4 billed in Crank, which also stars Jason Statham (No. 1 billed) who is in In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (No. 1 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (4 + 4) + (1 + 1) + (3 + 1) = 14. If we were to watch Blue Chips, and Three Fugitives we can get the HoE Number down to 16.

Notes – Despite the fact that this film was a critical and financial disaster, Shaquille O’Neal has not expressed regret for his involvement. He said in a 2012 interview, “I was a medium-level juvenile delinquent from Newark who always dreamed about doing a movie. Someone said, ‘Hey, here’s $7 million, come in and do this genie movie.’ What am I going to say, no? So I did it.”

John Costelloe plays a firefighter in this movie. In real life, he was a firefighter for 11 years before retiring in 1998. He also played a volunteer firefighter in The Sopranos (1999).

The main villain’s name is Malik, which is the Arabic word for king.

This movie is part of the false memory phenomenon (also called the “Mandela Effect”). According to many people, there was a movie named “Shazaam” starring Sinbad as the genie. This false memory was probably caused by a mix-up with this film and a costume Sinbad wore in 1994 when he hosted a TV broadcast of Sinbad and the Eye of the Tiger (1977). For April Fools’ Day 2017, the team of CollegeHumor Originals (2006) filmed a skit about alleged VHS footage of the Shazaam movie, with Sinbad starring as the genie.

Paul Michael Glaser’s last movie as a director, as of July 2021. He continues to direct television.

Fire Birds Preview

Patrick sips his mai tai and looks lazily around the bar in Party Town, USA. He and Kyle could no longer say how long they had been trapped in this never ending stream of party fun. For a while he kept reassuring Kyle that it was all a simulation, but his long bushy beard was now snow white and he had given up. They’d probably die here. Just like how the Vice President (who they rescued the day they arrived) had grown old and died peacefully a few years back. “Come on out here and party, dude,” Kyle yells to him, all the while dancing with one of the numerous bodacious bades that populated the city. Patrick waves him away with a sigh and gets back to his mai tai. Kyle plops down on the stool next to him. “Bro, I can always tell when you’re ready to poop on a party. You get that sad, party-pooper look in your eyes. You feeling blue?” Patrick nods. “Is it because we’ve been trapped in this party bar for 30-50 years?” Patrick nods again and sighs, “Yeah, sorry, man. I hate to rain on your parade.” Kyle shrugs and pats him on the shoulder, “You could never rain on my parade, bro. In fact, it never rains here at all. That’s what makes Party Town so great, right?” Suddenly Patrick looks around… that’s true. In 30-50 years it has never rained. Rain… water… mainframe. My god! He suddenly leaps up and looks around frantically before he sees it. The alarm. He looks up and sees the sprinklers Kyle had installed when he took over ownership of the bar. Just practical business sense he said… or a stroke of genius! “Fire,” Patrick whispers and Kyle just looks at him quizzically. “FIRE!” He screams. That’s right! We’re watching the Nic Cage/Tommy Lee Jones/Sean Young classic that we all remember, Fire Birds. It’s the helicopter knock-off of Top Gun that we were all clamouring for at the time and I can only assume it delivered on those points. Let’s go!

“Fire.” Jamie hears the whisper and pulls away from his steamy make out session with Lindsey. Was that Patrick he heard? Fire.. water… mainframe. “Where does that pipe lead?” He asks Lindsey, pointing at their steamy water pipe. “Uh,” she thinks, “up, I guess.” That’s right! We are starting in on our Bring a Friend cycle (the best cycle) with a little Guttenberg special, the 1998 film Airborne which is about a plane… or maybe a virus… I don’t know, but it def got the Gutes. Let’s go!

Fire Birds (1990) – BMeTric: 45.8; Notability: 25

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 4.4%; Notability: top 21.2%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 4.6%; Higher BMeT: Captain America, Look Who’s Talking Too, Rocky V, Ghost Dad, Graveyard Shift, Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre III, Repossessed, Soultaker, Problem Child, Delta Force 2: The Colombian Connection Higher Notability: RoboCop 2, The Bonfire of the Vanities, Predator 2, Days of Thunder, Jetsons: The Movie, The Adventures of Ford Fairlane, Air America, Captain America, Young Guns II: Blaze of Glory, Marked for Death, The Rookie, Rocky V, 3 Men and a Little Lady, Stella, Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles, Revenge, Bird on a Wire, Ghost Dad, Another 48 Hrs., Mr. Destiny, and 33 more; Lower RT: Problem Child, Death Warrant, Graveyard Shift, Repossessed, Coupe de Ville, Loose Cannons, Madhouse, Funny About Love, Soultaker, Ghost Dad, Spaced Invaders; Notes: The BMeTric is a lot higher than I would have expected since it only have around 6K ratings which is amazing low. We have obviously left a lot on the table as far as 1990 films are concerned. Very interesting that Soultaker gets a shoutout.

Leonard Maltin – BOMB –  High-tech Apache helicopters (with an assist from their pilots) take on South American drug cartels from the air. Standard military issue with a ruptured-duck script and no romantic chemistry between professional rivals Cage and Young. Jones doesn’t evoke memories of Gregory Peck in Twelve O’Clock High when he pep-talks Cage into a “full-tilt boogie for freedom and justice.”

(I’m having a hard time pinning down a definition for “ruptured-duck”. It has to do with a pin given to those honorably discharged in WWII, that much is for sure. So I guess he’s saying the film is ho-hum (standard issue) and the script is either old-school or maybe just bad (i.e. discharged)? Fascinating turn of phrase, Leonard.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9uOcWJ9ae5A/

(Yeah that is Top Gun for helicopters. All it is missing is Nic Cage buzzing the tower. Also as insane as it sounds that shows the entire climax of the film which is pretty nuts.)

DirectorsDavid Green – (Known For: Buster; Car Trouble; BMT: Fire Birds; Notes: British, he directed a load of Emmerdale Farm episodes (a British Soap). IMDb claims he has two new directorial efforts in production, but somehow I doubt that.)

WritersStep Tyner – (BMT: Fire Birds; Notes: Yeah so if you look around and search his name with Belvoir (Swensson’s production company) you can find that they were West Point classmates and Tyner wrote the original script, and Swensson marketed it. So that is how they are associated.)

John K. Swensson – (BMT: Fire Birds; Notes: I found his profile. It even mentions Fire Birds as just like a three year period of his life, strange.)

Dale Dye – (Known For: Occupation: Rainfall; BMT: Fire Birds; Notes: Apparently a military advisor on a number of films which he often gets bit parts in. This is no different, he plays A.K. McNeil in the film.)

Nick Thiel – (Known For: White Fang; Shipwrecked; The Experts; Future BMT: V.I. Warshawski; The Associate; BMT: Fire Birds; Notes: A producer for a ton of television which he also writes for. From 1987 to 1996 he wrote feature films. Nominated for an Emmy for Magnum P.I.)

Paul F. Edwards – (Known For: Trackdown; High-Ballin’; BMT: Fire Birds; Notes: Wrote a bunch of television including the show Wizards and Warriors.)

ActorsNicolas Cage – (Known For: Pig; Prisoners of the Ghostland; Willy’s Wonderland; The Rock; The Croods: A New Age; Fast Times at Ridgemont High; World Trade Center; Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse; Kick-Ass; Mandy; Color Out of Space; Leaving Las Vegas; National Treasure; Raising Arizona; Face/Off; Snowden; Con Air; Jiu Jitsu; Adaptation.; The Croods; Future BMT: Knowing; National Treasure: Book of Secrets; Next; 8MM; Windtalkers; G-Force; Trapped in Paradise; Amos & Andrew; BMT: Gone in Sixty Seconds; Ghost Rider; Drive Angry; Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance; Left Behind; The Wicker Man; Season of the Witch; Trespass; Captain Corelli’s Mandolin; Justice; Bangkok Dangerous; Fire Birds; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Actor in 2007 for The Wicker Man; in 2008 for Ghost Rider, National Treasure: Book of Secrets, and Next; in 2012 for Drive Angry, Season of the Witch, and Trespass; in 2013 for Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance, and Seeking Justice; and in 2015 for Left Behind; Nominee for Worst Supporting Actor for Snowden in 2017; and Nominee for Worst Screen Couple in 2007 for The Wicker Man; and in 2012 for Drive Angry, Season of the Witch, and Trespass; Notes: Won an Oscar of Leaving Las Vegas and was nominated for Adaptation. You know Nic Cage, he is apparently going to play Joe Exotic in a tv show about Tiger King, but somehow I doubt that will ever actually be produced.)

Tommy Lee Jones – (Known For: Captain America: The First Avenger; The Client; No Country for Old Men; Space Cowboys; Ad Astra; Wander; Jason Bourne; Men in Black; The Fugitive; Natural Born Killers; The Comeback Trail; Lincoln; JFK; Men in Black 3; Under Siege; Small Soldiers; The Missing; Love Story; The Homesman; Shock and Awe; Future BMT: Criminal; Men in Black II; Double Jeopardy; The Family; U.S. Marshals; The Hunted; Blown Away; Man of the House; Rules of Engagement; Just Getting Started; Savage Islands; BMT: Batman Forever; Mechanic: Resurrection; Fire Birds; Notes: Won and Oscar for The Fugitive and was nominated for three more. One of his first roles was 21 episodes of One Life to Live in the 1975.)

Sean Young – (Known For: Dune; Blade Runner 2049; Blade Runner; Bone Tomahawk; Ace Ventura: Pet Detective; Wall Street; Stripes; No Way Out; Cousins; Attack of the 50 Foot Cheerleader; Escape Room; Mockingbird Don’t Sing; Even Cowgirls Get the Blues; The Pit; A Random Encounter; Dr. Jekyll and Ms. Hyde; Poor White Trash; Darling; The Boost; Parasomnia; Future BMT: Sugar & Spice; Once Upon a Crime…; Baby: Secret of the Lost Legend; A Kiss Before Dying; Young Doctors in Love; Love Crimes; BMT: Fatal Instinct; Fire Birds; Razzie Notes: Winner for Worst Actress, and Worst Supporting Actress for A Kiss Before Dying in 1992; Nominee for Worst Actress, and Worst Screen Couple for Dr. Jekyll and Ms. Hyde in 1996; Nominee for Worst Actress for Love Crimes in 1993; and Nominee for Worst Supporting Actress in 1993 for Once Upon a Crime…; and in 1995 for Even Cowgirls Get the Blues; Notes: I kind of wish they had tossed a cameo into the new Dune for her. Instead she is making a film called Planet Dune in which is basically just a horror version of Dune? You can’t make this stuff up.)

Budget/Gross – $22 million / Domestic: $14,760,451 (Worldwide: $14,760,451)

(Ooooooof that is brutal. They thought they were getting Top Gun 2?! They were getting like … a straight-to-video Seagal war film.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 10% (2/21): Despite the talent on board, Fire Birds is little more than a subpar military adventure sporting video game-like action, outdated philosophy, and uneven acting.

(Yup, yup, and yup. Much like Tackleberry’s “I can’t believe they won’t let me murder innocent people anymore” speech from Police Academy: Mission to Moscow, the gung-ho jingoism of the military films of yesteryear was never going to play well in the 90s.)

Reviewer Highlight: The action here is more like something you’d expect to pop a quarter in a machine for. – Owen Gleiberman, Entertainment Weekly

Poster – Rage Cage and Tommy Lee Bones

(That poster cannot be denied. Man, that’s fire (birds). Nice orange color, dope helicopters, fading those face sooooo sweet. Hooo weeee. If only they really leaned into some font work. Then we’d really have something. B.)

Tagline(s) – The best just got better. (A+ x 10)

(Ha. Yeah, I mean. Yes. I like that because it sounds like words but in fact is meaningless. You heard about the best? Yeah… well, guess what? They just got better. It gets funnier the more I think about it.)

Keyword(s) – helicopter-pilot

Top 10: The Wolf of Wall Street (2013), Army of the Dead (2021), Fifty Shades of Grey (2015), Fast & Furious 7 (2015), Mission: Impossible – Fallout (2018), Jurassic World (2015), Kong: Skull Island (2017), Extraction (2020), Spectre (2015), American Sniper (2014)

Future BMT: 44.3 Home Fries (1998), 35.9 Air America (1990), 29.2 Memoirs of an Invisible Man (1992), 27.6 Resident Evil: Apocalypse (2004), 27.3 The Thing (2011), 26.7 American Assassin (2017), 19.4 Terminator Salvation (2009), 18.4 Crazy People (1990), 14.8 Angels & Demons (2009)

BMT: Fifty Shades of Grey (2015), The Predator (2018), Fifty Shades Darker (2017), CHIPS (2017), Mechanic: Resurrection (2016), Johnny Mnemonic (1995), The Darkest Minds (2018), Cradle 2 the Grave (2003), Fire Birds (1990)

Matches: Fire Birds (1990), Dance of the Dwarfs (1983), Avalanche (1999)

(Cooool plot. The little lines tell you how many films (and how big they were) basically. Not sure why helicopters were a huge thing in the 10s, I guess it is most likely that just big films got keywords around then. I am very excited to continue the helicopter 1990s train rolling with Air America some day.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 8) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Nicolas Cage is No. 1 billed in Fire Birds and No. 1 billed in The Wicker Man, which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 5 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (1 + 1) + (5 + 1) = 8. There is no shorter path at the moment.

Notes – K. Monty Jordan, one of the stunt team, was a real U.S. Army helicopter pilot in Vietnam, and retired as a Colonel after Operation: Desert Storm.

The enemy jet fighter is portrayed by a Swedish SAAB J 35F ‘Draken’ (Dragon).

Some of the exterior shots of “Fort Mitchell” were filmed at Pima Community College in Tucson, Arizona, and the inn, where Billie and Preston go, is actually The Tack Room, also in Tucson which was, at the time, a 5-star restaurant.

The “Scorpion” attack helicopters are actually Hughes MD-500D Defenders.

The bar scene was filmed at VIP Showclub located at 5120 E Speedway in Tucson, which was a topless bar at the time. The club was made to look like a regular nightclub with a live band, as seen in the movie. Filming took place over three days. Location is currently Ten’s Showclub.

The music that plays during the first half of the film’s original theatrical trailer is 80s classic “Nowhere Fast” composed for and made famous by the movie Streets of Fire (1984).

Some of the scenes were built on a set inside the Tucson Convention Center.

The flight simulator motion base is actually a AH1 flight weapons simulator (cobra helicopter) located at the Western Army Aviation Training Site in Arizona.

The original title of the film was “Night of the Apache”

The Catamarca Desert is specifically located in Argentina.

Infamously known among critics as Top Gun (1986) with helicopters.