Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City Preview

“So that’s the big L-O-V-E,” Kyle says in wonder, wiping tears from his eyes as he thinks fondly (and yet with sadness) of the fleeting love that Kelley and Sam shared. Jamie and Patrick nod. Patrick thinks of his wife and six children, Jamie of the demonic puzzle box that presumably still holds the many demons that he’s fallen in love with over the years. They all sigh at the wonder of life, love, and learning. “So how do I know if it’s for real or if I’m just getting weak at the knees for something that won’t last?” Kyle asks. Jamie and Patrick ponder the question that is at the crux of it all. Kyle suggests perhaps he wait until Rachel gets really sick and then he can prove to her that he’s in it for the long haul by leaving college to be by her side. Jamie and Patrick agree that it’s a good place to start. While Patrick’s own love story mirrored Here on Earth almost exactly (minus one very important aspect), not all of them had to be exactly like Here on Earth. “Think of any great romantic comedy. Head over Heels for example. It’s more about getting into some major jam and then showing that you are there for each other through thick and thin.” Kyle is sold, but now is in the same spot as Patrick. With such a boring existence protecting the Dongle there aren’t any jams in their near future. Suddenly the doorbell rings. Jamie checks the peephole. “Huh, it’s Lou. Another resident in the building. Part of the welcoming committee.” It won’t solve their immediate problem, but at least Lou won’t create some giant catastrophe for them. That’s right! We’re watching Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City as the last great chance to grab a BMT Live this year (probably). I thought the trailer looked good, but trailers aren’t everything (even when they should be). Let’s go!

Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City (2021) – BMeTric: 31.7; Notability: 21

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 14.0%; Notability: top 8.4%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 16.2%; Higher BMeT: Space Jam: A New Legacy, Thunder Force, He’s All That, Cosmic Sin, Home Sweet Home Alone, Deadly Illusions, Music, Awake, The Misfits, Great White, Spiral, The Unholy, Tom and Jerry, Things Heard & Seen, After We Fell, Outside the Wire, Snake Eyes, Vanquish, Infinite, Out of Death, and 15 more; Higher Notability: Space Jam: A New Legacy, Tom and Jerry, Music, Chaos Walking, Infinite, The Addams Family 2, Home Sweet Home Alone, Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard, Red Notice, Dear Evan Hansen, Snake Eyes, Sweet Girl, Cherry, The Starling, Thunder Force, Reminiscence, The Birthday Cake, The Woman in the Window, Voyagers, Breaking News in Yuba County, and 1 more; Lower RT: After We Fell, Out of Death, Cosmic Sin, Vanquish, Music, Midnight in the Switchgrass, Breaking News in Yuba County, Demonic, Deadly Illusions, Infinite, Home Sweet Home Alone, Die in a Gunfight, Zone 414, The Virtuoso, The Misfits, Sweet Girl, The Starling, Every Breath You Take, Thunder Force, Chaos Walking, and 11 more; Notes: I’m not even going to put the plots in as they are pointless. Surprisingly modest here. I do think maybe I should do something to delineate qualifying and non-qualifying in the lists. More recent years have so many bad direct to VOD options available.

RogerEbert.com – 2.0 stars – There’s also a sense that all of this will mean even less to those who haven’t played those early games. My greatest rush came from recognizing locations that I’ve seen previously with a controller in my hand. That’s not quite filmmaking—it’s fan service. I want a “Resident Evil” movie that takes these legendary locations and characters and does something fresh and exciting with them. Start with the mythology instead of just ending with it too. And the truth is there’s almost no story to “Welcome to Raccoon City.” After setting up a bunch of familiar faces, Roberts is content to bounce them off some zombies to a predictable final act that brings out some of the iconic big bads from the games. It’s depressingly easy to chart where this film is going to go and who’s going to make it to the inevitable sequel. There’s one thing a great horror game can never be (and something one couldn’t really accuse the Anderson movies of being either): predictable.

(Yeah, the trailers I’ve seen certainly feel like they went heavy for the fan service this time. Worth a shot I would think. It isn’t crazy to suggest that is exactly what the original Mortal Kombat did right. They took a bunch of disparate pieces and made sure to hit the notes that fans would be delighted by. So maybe that’s what we got, something fans will be like “that’s pretty okay” and non-fans will be like “this is gobbledygook. )

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IQqqAWMIIAQ/

(As a person who played the first two games, it seems quite good from a fan service perspective. Sure, some of the CGI maybe seems a bit bad / obscured by darkness, but I still thought that they at least seemed to stay true to form.)

DirectorsJohannes Roberts – ( Known For: 47 Meters Down: Uncaged; 47 Meters Down; The Other Side of the Door; Storage 24; F; Forest of the Damned; Hellbreeder; Future BMT: The Strangers: Prey at Night; BMT: Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City; Notes: British. Definitely a horror guy, including a short series for telephones called When Evil Calls.)

WritersJohannes Roberts – ( Known For: 47 Meters Down: Uncaged; 47 Meters Down; The Other Side of the Door; Storage 24; F; Forest of the Damned; Hellbreeder; BMT: Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City; Notes: Has directed almost all of the films he’s written. He has an upcoming film called The Pool about a rabid dog in pre-production. Sounds like Cujo basically.)

ActorsKaya Scodelario – ( Known For: The Maze Runner; Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil and Vile; Moon; Crawl; Maze Runner: The Death Cure; Maze Runner: The Scorch Trials; Wuthering Heights; Now Is Good; Tiger House; The Truth About Emanuel; Spike Island; Shank; Twenty8k; Future BMT: Clash of the Titans; BMT: Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City; Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales; Notes: I knew that she was from Skins. She was in 26 episodes. She’s in a period piece about mermaids called The King’s Daughter which is coming out next year.)

Robbie Amell – ( Known For: The Babysitter; The DUFF; Code 8; The Babysitter: Killer Queen; When We First Met; ARQ; Desperados; Eat Wheaties!; Struck by Lightning; Left for Dead; Future BMT: Max; BMT: Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City; Cheaper by the Dozen 2; Nine Lives; Notes: He has starred in a ton of television including Alcatraz, 1600 Penn, Revenge, The Flash, and A Series of Unfortunate Events. Is starring in a film called Float next year which is a production based on a Wattpad story (i.e. fanfic?))

Hannah John-Kamen – ( Known For: Ready Player One; Star Wars: Episode VII – The Force Awakens; Ant-Man and the Wasp; SAS: Red Notice; Tomb Raider; BMT: Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City; Notes: She’s playing Red Sonja in the new Red Sonja film. Also mostly a television actor including as Ornela in Game of Thrones.)

Budget/Gross – $25 million / Domestic: $15,863,138 (Worldwide: $30,763,138)

(Not going to do well enough to guarantee a sequel, but also because of the pandemic they might think it is at least worth a shot to adapt a more original story next time. Only time will tell.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 29% (19/66): Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City is an affectionately faithful adaptation that further proves its source material is ill-suited to the big screen.

(Affectionately faithful is nice. I do feel like that is the way to do it if you insist on making a movie, even though it feels like a television series is obviously the way to actually adapt something like Resident Evil.)

Reviewer Highlight: Writer-director Johannes Roberts supplies plenty of fan service but scarce coherent plotting and even fewer scares. – Nick Schager, Variety

Poster – Raccoon City: The Movie

(I feel like modern posters are losing a bit of the joie de vivre of the past. This looks extremely CGI, like a video game cover rather than a real, live-action film poster. Font is classic and the red and white pop, but everything else is pretty dreary and bland. B-.)

Tagline(s) – Witness the Beginning of Evil. (D)

(Not actively bad, but that’s the only positive. What is this, Friday the 13th: A New Beginning? Would be impossible to count the number of films that this could be a tagline for.)

Keyword(s) – evil

Top 10: Venom: Let There Be Carnage (2021), Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City (2021), Black Widow (2021), Spider-Man (2002), The Suicide Squad (2021), Avengers: Endgame (2019), Ghostbusters (1984), The Last Son (2021), Joker (2019), Midsommar (2019)

Future BMT: 84.1 Halloween: Resurrection (2002), 72.9 The Last Exorcism Part II (2013), 71.3 Supergirl (1984), 70.5 Halloween II (2009), 69.3 Seed of Chucky (2004), 65.5 The Darkness (2016), 65.2 The Haunting of Molly Hartley (2008), 63.9 Blair Witch (2016), 62.5 My Soul to Take (2010), 60.4 Pet Sematary II (1992)

BMT: Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City (2021), The Mummy (2017), Rambo: Last Blood (2019), Hellboy (2019), Transformers: Age of Extinction (2014), Conan the Barbarian (2011), Friday the 13th (2009), Masters of the Universe (1987), Anaconda (1997), The Island of Dr. Moreau (1996), Scary Movie V (2013), The Haunting (1999), Queen of the Damned (2002), Truth or Dare (2018), Leprechaun (1993), Ghosts of Mars (2001), Sleepaway Camp (1983), Slender Man (2018), The Golden Child (1986), Cobra (1986), Friday the 13th Part 2 (1981), Dracula 2000 (2000), Friday the 13th Part III (1982), Friday the 13th: A New Beginning (1985), Ouija (2014), Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood (1988), A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child (1989), Virus (1999), I Know Who Killed Me (2007), The Devil Inside (2012), The Gallows (2015)

Matches: Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City (2021), Spider-Man (2002), The Last Son (2021), The Fifth Element (1997), 6 Underground (2019), Hereditary (2018), The Devil All the Time (2020), Legend (1985), It Chapter Two (2019), RoboCop (1987), Fear Street: Part One – 1994 (2021), Poltergeist (1982), Transformers: Age of Extinction (2014), Conan the Barbarian (2011), Evil Dead (2013), The Dark Tower (2017), Seed of Chucky (2004), Saturday the 14th (1981), Masters of the Universe (1987), The Haunting (1999), Drag Me to Hell (2009), Halloween (2007), The Fog (1980), The Taking of Deborah Logan (2014), Leprechaun (1993), Mirrors (2008), Gretel & Hansel (2020), 1408 (2007), Blair Witch (2016), Halloween II (2009), The Omen (2006), Sinister 2 (2015), The Lords of Salem (2012), Ouija (2014), Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood (1988), Halloween: Resurrection (2002), The Prophecy (1995), Pumpkinhead (1988), Needful Things (1993), Waxwork II: Lost in Time (1992), … (and many more)

(I wonder why 2019 was all about “evil” movies? Anyways, weak keyword, but I couldn’t resist the A+ keyword. The other Resident Evil’s not being on the future BMT list suggests the keyword is even weaker than you would think in that people basically just don’t use it, even in obvious cases.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 14) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Neal McDonough is No. 7 billed in Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City and No. 3 billed in Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li, which also stars Chris Klein (No. 2 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 2 billed) => (7 + 3) + (2 + 2) = 14. There is no shorter path at the moment.

Notes – A reboot of the series was announced while Resident Evil: The Final Chapter (2016) was still in theaters.

Johannes Roberts told Screen Rant that the reboot would be “super, super scary” and more faithful to the games.

Greg Russo’s unused story and script, which he was developing with James Wan was inspired by Resident Evil VII: Biohazard (2017). Russo wanted to go back to scarier tone of original games and focus more on horror, just like Resident Evil 7 did.

Capcom gave the filmmakers their blueprints to recreate the main halls of the Spencer Mansion and the RPD (police station).

The film is based on and inspired by the first two video games.

The twelfth Resident Evil film count the animated CGI films Biohazard 4D: Executer (2000), Resident Evil: Degeneration (2008), Resident Evil: Damnation (2012), Resident Evil: Vendetta (2017) and Resident Evil: Infinite Darkness (2021) and the seventh live action Resident Evil film in the series.

The movie’s title appears in red bold letters. Color and font are identical to how the title appears in the first game.

Claire’s wearing a necklace. Its pendant is a dragonfly wing. In the video game Resident Evil: Code Veronica you have to collect multiple dragonfly wings to advance in the game.

Towards the end Claire is giving a set of keys that unlock a secret passage. There are four keys on the ring and they are modeled after the four keys required to access most of the locked doors in the police station in Resident Evil 2 game.

Leon kills mutated Birkin with a rocket launcher. It’s tradition in most Resident Evil video games to kill the final boss with a rocket launcher.

Wesker plays the piano to open a secret passage way. A similar event occurs in the original video game from 1996.

The movie set in 1998. Resident Evil (1996), first game of the franchise, set in the night of July 24-25, 1998.

Head Over Heels Preview

Jamie and Patrick quake in fear as they prepare to face the devil himself on the other side of the door to their apartment. They should have anticipated this problem. With the power that the Dongle possesses, no wonder even the devil wants to get his claws on it. Jamie swings the door wide and Patrick leaps forth with a silver cross in one hand and spraying holy water with the other. Hardscrabble reporter Lindsey Appleton sputters, drenched in holy water. “What the hell, guys? My pants suit is ruined. And here I was bringing you a six pack of delicious Coca-Cola to jazz up another night of protecting the Dongle!” Kyle quickly enters with an apology and shakes his head sadly as he escorts Lindsey and the delicious Coca-Cola to the other room. Jamie is aghast. “Delicious Coca-Cola, Patrick? Soft pretzels? Kyle is having the time of his life at our expense because you simply can’t accept that the Dongle is safe even for a moment.” Patrick stares at the cityscape spread out in front of him. Perhaps they were right. Perhaps he just needed to relax about the whole Dongle business and get back to living his life. “I’m sorry, Jamie. We may not have delicious Coca-Cola or soft pretzels at our fingertips, but we always have this,” and with that he holds up their well worn Here on Earth DVD. Jamie smiles and breaks out the popping corn. But before those kernels can get a-poppin’, Kyle reappears. Blushing, he asks them to apologize to Lindsey and invite her back. “It’s just that… tonight was gonna be a big night for me and Rachel. I’m talking L-O-V-E and I need some advice.” Jamie and Patrick nod and sit him down in front of HoE just in time. That’s right! It’s not HoE (unfortunately) but it’s a Freddie Prinze Jr. joint, so nothing to sniff at. It’s the 20 year anniversary of the release of Head Over Heels… you know, the one where Freddie Prinze Jr. smirks and is a really good guy even though he looks like he should be a really terrible guy? Yeah, that one. Let’s go!

Head Over Heels (2001) – BMeTric: 40.1; Notability: 38

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 14.8%; Notability: top 19.6%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 5.0%; Higher BMeT: Glitter, Jason X, Freddy Got Fingered, Driven, The Animal, Ghosts of Mars, Black Knight, Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles, Soul Survivors, Valentine, Monkeybone, Corky Romano, Scary Movie 2, The Musketeer, The Wedding Planner, Bones, Say It Isn’t So, The Order, Summer Catch, The Wash, and 17 more; Higher Notability: Pearl Harbor, Monkeybone, Lara Croft: Tomb Raider, Hannibal, Impostor, Ghosts of Mars, Not Another Teen Movie, Bubble Boy, Swordfish, 15 Minutes, Town & Country, The One, Scary Movie 2, The Affair of the Necklace, I Am Sam, America’s Sweethearts, Along Came a Spider, Perfume, Joe Dirt, The Animal, and 29 more; Lower RT: The Order, Texas Rangers, Soul Survivors, Glitter, All the Queen’s Men, Corky Romano, The Forsaken, Summer Catch, The Wash, Out Cold, Say It Isn’t So, Megiddo: The Omega Code 2; Notes: Man, we have a ton of really bad 2001 films left don’t we. Mid-5.0 on IMDb is pretty high, much higher than I would have expected for this.

RogerEbert.com – 1.5 stars – “Head Over Heels” opens with 15 funny minutes and then goes dead in the water. It’s like they sent home the first team of screenwriters and brought in Beavis and Butt-Head. The movie starts out with sharp wit and edgy zingers, switches them off and turns to bathroom humor. And not funny bathroom humor, but painfully phony gas-passing noises, followed by a plumbing emergency that buries three supermodels in a putrid delivery from where the sun don’t shine. It’s as if the production was a fight to the death between bright people with a sense of humor, and cretins who think the audience is as stupid as they are. …It isn’t funny when innocent bystanders are humiliated. It’s funny when they humiliate themselves. For example, “Head Over Heels” would be funny if it were about the people making this movie.

(Huh, that is a lot different than I expected. A solid first 15 minutes? Bathroom humor? None of the trailer really suggests this at all. Very interesting.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lrnGD7JN2KE

(Wow, a very brief Olyphant cameo. The story seems insane. So I assume the story is one of two things. First, he’s a secret agent or cop or something and that is why he is “murdering” people. Second, it is a mafia story basically, and he’s trying to extract himself from that world and having difficulties. I’m on tenterhooks as to which it is.)

DirectorsMark Waters – ( Known For: Mean Girls; He’s All That; The Spiderwick Chronicles; Freaky Friday; Just Like Heaven; Mr. Popper’s Penguins; Magic Camp; The House of Yes; Future BMT: Bad Santa 2; BMT: Vampire Academy; Ghosts of Girlfriends Past; Head Over Heels; Notes: Married to actress Dina Spybey-Waters and the brother of writer Daniel Waters. I’ll say it again: give these three a chance to write/direct/star in a film. I want to see it!)

WritersJohn J. Strauss – ( Known For: The Santa Clause 2; There’s Something About Mary; The Lizzie McGuire Movie; Future BMT: The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause; Free Birds; The Wild; Rebound; BMT: Head Over Heels; Notes: Produced a lot of television these days, including Mozart in the Jungle. Writing a Chinese film called Noodles at the moment.)

Ed Decter – ( Known For: The Santa Clause 2; There’s Something About Mary; The Lizzie McGuire Movie; Future BMT: The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause; The Wild; Rebound; BMT: Head Over Heels; Notes: Most recently created the show Shadowhunters. Also was the director for The New Guy.)

David Kidd and Ron Burch – ( Known For: Ferdinand; Future BMT: Yours, Mine & Ours; BMT: Head Over Heels; Notes: Nominated for an Emmy for Best Original Song for The Closer starring Tom Selleck. The song was called You Don’t Know Jack. They also wrote the Dinotrux television show.)

ActorsMonica Potter – ( Known For: Con Air; Saw; The Last House on the Left; Without Limits; I’m with Lucy; Lower Learning; A Cool, Dry Place; The Very Thought of You; Heaven or Vegas; Future BMT: Patch Adams; Bulletproof; BMT: Along Came a Spider; Head Over Heels; Notes: It is claimed that her father invented the first flame-resistant car wax. She’s from Cleveland, and now mostly does television like Wisdom of the Crowd.)

Freddie Prinze Jr. – ( Known For: Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker; She’s All That; The House of Yes; Brooklyn Rules; Jack and Jill vs. the World; The Reef; New York City Serenade; Future BMT: Scooby-Doo; Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed; Boys and Girls; Happily N’Ever After; Delgo; To Gillian on Her 37th Birthday; BMT: I Know What You Did Last Summer; I Still Know What You Did Last Summer; Summer Catch; Down to You; Head Over Heels; Wing Commander; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Supporting Actor for Scooby-Doo in 2003; Notes: Does a ton of voice work these days (including as Kanan Jarrus in Star Wars which is why he’s credited in the ninth film). You of course know him as the best friend of Matthew Lillard.)

Shalom Harlow – ( Known For: How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days; Kate & Leopold; In & Out; The Salton Sea; Game 6; Melinda and Melinda; I Love Your Work; Happy Here and Now; BMT: Vanilla Sky; Head Over Heels; Notes: Apparently a huge model, she was worth about $10 million in 1998.)

Budget/Gross – $14,000,000 / Domestic: $10,424,470 (Worldwide: $13,127,022)

(Wow, that is catastrophic! Really really bad stuff. And not even on a particularly high budget either.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 10% (9/89): Head Over Heels is being blasted by critics as a huge mess. The plot and jokes are idiotic, while the toilet humor is gratuitous and more gross than funny.

(There it is again! The trailer is very deceptive. It wants to present itself as a witty romantic comedy mostly surrounding the fashion world. But apparently it is just all gross out humor? Bizarre.)

Reviewer Highlight: With each rewrite, it seems, things grew fouler, duller and more idiotic. – Rita Kempley, Washington Post

Poster – Freddie Prinze Jr’s Love Patrol

(Woof. And not just because they give Freddie’s doggie a outsized place on the poster. This is ahead of its time in that it mimics what would become the classic Diane Keaton style of poster. The poster separated into strips of space, no consistent color scheme, and bad font. The Full Keaton. D)

Tagline(s) – Four supermodel roommates. One regular girl. The guy next door doesn’t stand a chance. (D)

Unleash your inner model. (C)

(That second one is really digging deep for a movie that theoretically no one would have seen when they first read the tagline. It’s wordplay on the relatively minor detail about Freddie Prinze Jr. having a large dog that he can’t control. I kinda love it for how nonsensical it is. The first one is somehow worse just for length and the fact that it is not clever in the least.)

Keyword(s) – roommate

Top 10: After (2019), Eyes Wide Shut (1999), Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (2010), Anna (2019), Pitch Perfect (2012), La La Land (2016), School of Rock (2003), I, Tonya (2017), Pretty Woman (1990), The Terminator (1984)

Future BMT: 71.2 Supergirl (1984), 54.3 The Green Inferno (2013), 51.9 Loser (2000), 50.7 Abandon (2002), 47.8 The Wash (2001), 46.4 On the Line (2001), 45.7 Monster-in-Law (2005), 44.4 Boys and Girls (2000), 43.6 Life of the Party (2018), 37.4 If Lucy Fell (1996)

BMT: After (2019), Police Academy (1984), Burlesque (2010), Vampire Academy (2014), The Sweetest Thing (2002), Urban Legend (1998), I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (1998), Failure to Launch (2006), Little Nicky (2000), Confessions of a Shopaholic (2009), Made of Honor (2008), Fifty Shades of Black (2016), The Prince and Me (2004), Table 19 (2017), Chairman of the Board (1997), Head Over Heels (2001)

Matches: La La Land (2016), Rent (2005), Shaun of the Dead (2004), Girl, Interrupted (1999), Spenser Confidential (2020), Big Daddy (1999), Three Men and a Baby (1987), Zack and Miri Make a Porno (2008), Tootsie (1982), Grandma’s Boy (2006), Single White Female (1992), The Sweetest Thing (2002), Class (1983), Everybody Wants Some!! (2016), Failure to Launch (2006), Reign Over Me (2007), Life of the Party (2018), Wristcutters: A Love Story (2006), Fifty Shades of Black (2016), Starry Eyes (2014), A Million Little Pieces (2018), Prozac Nation (2001), Loser (2000), Going the Distance (2010), Loverboy (1989), Poison Ivy II (1996), Someone Like You (2001), The Wash (2001), Annapolis (2006), Premium Rush (2012), Dead Man on Campus (1998), Jenny’s Wedding (2015), Smiley Face (2007), Chairman of the Board (1997), The Guilty (2000), Kaboom (2010), Head Over Heels (2001), For a Good Time, Call… (2012), … and more

(There weren’t any good keywords from the plot it seemed. I went with this. I’m excited for Monster-in-Law mostly I think. The exact match with Rent is fun.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 16) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Freddie Prinze Jr. is No. 2 billed in Head Over Heels and No. 1 billed in Wing Commander, which also stars Matthew Lillard (No. 3 billed) who is in In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (No. 6 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (2 + 1) + (3 + 6) + (3 + 1) = 16. If we were to watch Patch Adams, Jack, and The Glass House we can get the HoE Number down to 11.

Notes – Amanda’s character has symptoms of Stendhal Syndrome, a condition where seeing a beautiful piece of art or something particularly pleasing to the eye can cause symptoms including dizziness and fainting.

Shalom Harlow has said that she used to live in an environment much like the one Jade, Roxanna, Candi, Holly, and Amanda live in.

Claire Danes was originally set to play the lead role of Amanda Pierce, but dropped out at the last moment. Monica Potter, who’d already been signed on for a smaller role, was moved into Amanda’s part as a result.

Freddie Prinze Jr. was the 1st choice for the role of Jim Winston, with it written for him.

Shalom Harlow, Sarah O’Hare and Tomiko Fraser were real-life models, before getting cast in this film.

Mark Waters used classic films such as “The Philadelphia Story” and “His Girl Friday” as templates for the story.

The film was shot in Vancouver and New York, with the former serving as the substitute for famous New York landmarks such as Stanley Park for Central Park, and their aquarium which had rare Beluga whales.

Snake Eyes (2021) Preview

Patrick and Jamie stare in horror at the Tom & Jerry adaption created by Manfred Long. “My god Tom, I didn’t think you’d turn out to be a swamp monster,” K-la, Tom’s robotic love interest states woodenly, “Or so sexy,” she finishes and they both groan. They quietly sneak out of the theater flashing a quick thumbs up to Manfred who beams in pride. “Well at least we saved Rich and Poe and the world and all that,” Jamie says shrugging, “but Manfred really is a piece of shit hack. I mean… he’s still on that swamp monster stuff?” Patrick nods and Kyle joins them. “Man that was great,” Kyle raves, munching on some popcorn, “a swamp monster! Who could have guessed? And boy the bar mitzvah storyline had me on the edge of my seat. I can’t believe we left early before the reading from the Torah. I mean, do you think Ben was able to learn his Hebrew with all the swamp monster Tom and Jerry chaos?” Patrick rolls his eyes and beelines it to the subway. Back at their shared apartment Patrick and Jamie contemplate their lives. They stare at the safe they’ve had installed in the wall and wonder if they’ll ever find peace. With such great power comes great responsibility, Patrick thinks, having a wholly original thought. Suddenly the doorbell rings and Patrick and Jamie look at each other and then back at the safe. Kyle hurries past them. “That must be Rachel. We’re gonna watch Tom and Jerry. Manfred gave me a bootleg copy.” Before he opens the door, though, Patrick stops him. He touches the door and silently shakes his head. Through a series of hand motions he makes clear to Jamie that it’s not Rachel at all… it’s ninjas! That’s right! We’re watching Snake Eyes: G.I. Joe Origins. Full of ninjas and definitely dumb, this film almost didn’t qualify for BMT and that would have been ludicrous. But it did and so here we are ready to watch some sweet sweet G.I. Joe action. Let’s go!

Snake Eyes (2021) – BMeTric: 48.3; Notability: 34

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 5.6%; Notability: top 2.8%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 21.1%; Higher BMeT: Space Jam: A New Legacy, Thunder Force, He’s All That, Cosmic Sin, Deadly Illusions, Music, Awake, The Kissing Booth 3, The Misfits, Spiral: From the Book of Saw, Tom & Jerry: The Movie, The Unholy, Things Heard & Seen, Outside the Wire; Higher Notability: Space Jam: A New Legacy, Tom & Jerry: The Movie, Music, Chaos Walking, Infinite, The Addams Family 2, The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard; Lower RT: After We Fell, Out of Death, Rogue Hostage, The Devil Below, Cosmic Sin, Separation, Music, Midnight in the Switchgrass, Breaking News in Yuba County, Axis Sally, Deadly Illusions, Infinite, Die in a Gunfight, Zone 414, The Virtuoso, The Misfits, The Starling, Sweet Girl, Every Breath You Take, Senior Moment, and 25 more; Notes: Not a particularly interesting graph, but dropped, and below 6.0 is good. The notability is incredibly low … maybe because they used a lot of stunt actors with masks / foreign actors? That is interesting for a large action film.

RogerEbert.com – 1.5 stars – How is it possible that the American ninja/spy movie “Snake Eyes: G.I. Joe Origins” is more dreary than goofy? Isn’t this an origin story for an action figure whose signature attributes are his cool extreme sports outfit (complete with black visored bike helmet), his lack of speech (he’s a mute), and his cool sword?

(Ooooooooh yeah, he is supposed to not say anything! Amazing that they just kind of toss that out for the film. Dreary sounds bad.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vd2sm63Xwfw/

(“The origin story we’ve all been waiting for” … have we? Have we been waiting for a Snake Eyes origin story? The film does look pretty dreary, but quality action.)

DirectorsRobert Schwentke – ( Known For: RED; The Captain; Tattoo; Eierdiebe; Future BMT: Allegiant; Insurgent; The Time Traveler’s Wife; Flightplan; BMT: Snake Eyes; R.I.P.D.; Notes: German. He didn’t intend on working in Hollywood, but ended up moving when he had difficulty financing his third film in Germany.)

WritersEvan Spiliotopoulos – ( Known For: Charlie’s Angels; Beauty and the Beast; Hercules; Pooh’s Heffalump Movie; Battle for Terra; Art Heist; The Blue Elephant; Future BMT: The Unholy; The Huntsman: Winter’s War; The Jungle Book 2; BMT: Snake Eyes; Notes: Seems to be an adaptation guru of some kind. He’s done sequels to beloved Disney properties, reboots of the same, adaptations of toy lines, etc. He appears to be who you call it when you need something extended and big budget.)

Joe Shrapnel and Anna Waterhouse – ( Known For: Rebecca; Seberg; The Aftermath; Race; Frankie & Alice; BMT: Snake Eyes; Notes: Shrapnel has two brothers, one who directs, and the other who acts (triple threat family! Give them a movie to all do together). They appear to be in charge of the GI Joe property at the moment as they are writing the sequel.)

ActorsHenry Golding – ( Known For: The Gentlemen; Last Christmas; Crazy Rich Asians; A Simple Favour; Monsoon; Gold Diggers; BMT: Snake Eyes; Notes: Half English and half Malaysian. Was a model before becoming a BBC television host, and now is an actual actor.)

Andrew Koji – ( Known For: Furious 6; BMT: Snake Eyes; Notes: English, although he trained as a stunt man in Japan prior to working on acting full time. Does a ton of television work, including starring in Warrior.)

Haruka Abe – ( Known For: Cruella; About Time; Late Shift; The Knife That Killed Me; Future BMT: 47 Ronin; BMT: Snake Eyes; Notes: Born in Japan, she split her childhood between Tokyo, New York City, and London. She is the speaking voice of Noodle from the virtual band Gorillaz.)

Budget/Gross – $88–110 million / Domestic: $28,264,325 (Worldwide: $36,964,325)

(Well … uh, pandemic I guess? I don’t think it would have made a ton of money in the end, but I don’t think it would have been quite so disastrous looking in normal times.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 36% (51/140): Far from silent and not particularly deadly, Snake Eyes serves as a step up for the G.I. Joe franchise, thanks in no small part to Henry Golding’s work in the title role.

(Hmmm, so people seem to generally think the cast did well which is interesting.)

Reviewer Highlight: And on the seventh day, God ended his work and rested. Because even for him, enduring this whole endlessly puerile blockbuster mishegas one more time was, if He was being honest, divinely exhausting. – David Fear, Rolling Stone

Poster – Tomax and Xamot: G.I. Joe Origins

(Fine, it’s a cool poster. So what? There are a lot of bad movies with cool posters. But really, nice font, nice subtle red theme, and artistic in how it conveys the idea of the film. A.)

Tagline(s) – A legendary warrior. His epic origin story. (C-)

(Meh, good poster but this tagline is a bit bland. I don’t like the word “epic” here either. Almost sounds like they are trying to make it real cool for the kids.)

Keyword(s) – ninja

Top 10: Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings (2021), Snake Eyes (2021), Mortal Kombat (2021), Ready Player One (2018), Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (2010), John Wick: Chapter 3 – Parabellum (2019), Batman Begins (2005), Sin City (2005), Mulan (2020), Licence to Kill (1989)

Future BMT: 67.0 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (1993), 55.4 3 Ninjas Kick Back (1994), 54.3 Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie (1995), 51.9 Curse of the Pink Panther (1983), 49.5 3 Ninja Kids (1992), 49.2 Trail of the Pink Panther (1982), 47.7 Dumb and Dumber To (2014), 46.5 The Pest (1997), 44.2 Beverly Hills Ninja (1997), 43.7 Surf Ninjas (1993)

BMT: Snake Eyes (2021), G.I. Joe: Retaliation (2013), Mortal Kombat (1995), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014), Elektra (2005), Mortal Kombat: Annihilation (1997), In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (2007), RoboCop 3 (1993), The Medallion (2003), Around the World in 80 Days (2004), Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol (1987), The Master of Disguise (2002), Highlander: Endgame (2000), Gymkata (1985)

Matches: Snake Eyes (2021), G.I. Joe: Retaliation (2013), Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles (1990), The VelociPastor (2018), Ninja Assassin (2009), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze (1991), 3 Ninja Kids (1992), TMNT (2007), Surf Ninjas (1993), Beverly Hills Ninja (1997), The Lego Ninjago Movie (2017), L.E.T.H.A.L. Ladies: Return to Savage Beach (1998), Ninja III: The Domination (1984), Ninja (2009), Enter the Ninja (1981), 3 Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mountain (1998), American Ninja 2: The Confrontation (1987), Shogun Assassin (1980), The Octagon (1980), Revenge of the Ninja (1983), Recess: School’s Out (2001), Ninja: Shadow of a Tear (2013), Miami Connection (1987), 3 Ninjas: Knuckle Up (1993), American Ninja 4: The Annihilation (1990), American Ninja 3: Blood Hunt (1989), … (and a lot more)

(People love ninja films. Is it just me or are ninja films getting better reviews recently … I guess all films are getting better reviews though. I’m excited to smash out Beverly Hills Ninja at some point. That film is hilarious. Nothing will convince me otherwise.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 27) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Iko Uwais is No. 8 billed in Snake Eyes and No. 3 billed in Mile 22, which also stars Mark Wahlberg (No. 1 billed) who is in The Happening (No. 1 billed) which also stars John Leguizamo (No. 3 billed) who is in Righteous Kill (No. 4 billed) which also stars Al Pacino (No. 2 billed) who is in 88 Minutes (No. 1 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (8 + 3) + (1 + 1) + (3 + 4) + (2 + 1) + (3 + 1) = 27. If we were to watch The Lovely Bones, and Wicker Park we can get the HoE Number down to 26.

Notes – The movie is a reboot of the G.I. Joe property on film, and intended to be part of a shared universe of features based on Hasbro properties with G.I. Joe: Ever Vigilant, Visionaries: Knights of the Magical Light, M.A.S.K.: Mobile Armored Strike Kommand, ROM: Spaceknight and Micronauts.

Andrew Koji hated the two G. I. Joe films in a interview saying “I thought about playing that character [Storm Shadow] because I didn’t like the first two films. I can say that. I’m allowed to not like a film. So, I was hesitant, at first, to even accept that. That’s a big studio film and my first role in a big studio film, so I was very hesitant because I didn’t have that trust in Hollywood to do that. What Warrior taught me and the voice that it gave me helped my work on Storm Shadow. I don’t wanna play a character with a six-pack. I wanted him to be human and flawed. He’s going through stuff. For me, when I saw the first G.I. Joe films, I was like, ‘I don’t wanna do that. That’s not the kind of thing I wanna do.'”

Asian-American writer Larry Hama, who was instrumental in developing the character of Snake Eyes, addressed the movie’s race-swapping issue with the casting of Asian actor Henry Golding: “Some people are saying that casting Golding ‘fixes’ the character of Snake-Eyes, but I disagree. I had wanted to keep him ambiguous until HASBRO introduced Storm Shadow as the only Asian character and made him a bad guy. I decided to ‘fix’ that by delving into his background and gradually turning him into a good guy. This is why Snake-Eyes is a white guy.”

Tommy’s grandmother Sen (Eri Ishida) is based on Obake Obaasan (“Demon Granny”), Storm Shadow’s aunt in the comics.

The first time Snake Eyes is depicted as a talking character. In the previous two films, he was a silent with no speaking roles.

The film originally replaced G.I. Joe: Ever Vigilant release date of March 27, 2020 but was later pushed back to October 16, 2020 which was the original release date for Micronauts but was postponed to October 22, 2021, due to the COVID-19 pandemic but it was later moved up to July 23, 2021.

Snake-Eyes is changed from a Caucasian character seen from the comics, animated series, and both of the live action films to a mixed race character due to actor Henry Golding who’s both English and Malaysian.

The electric motorcycles the characters are riding throughout the movie are heavily modified Energica Eva Ribelle.

Larry Hama gave his blessing to the movie, even the changes it makes to the source material.

Mr. Wrong Preview

“Wait!” says Patrick, just as it appears that that piece of shit hack Manfred Long is going to destroy him with the power of the Dongle. “You don’t understand. I’m not just hard to kill, I’m impossible to kill. If you try to use the Dongle one me it will destroy the world.” Manfred squints his eyes in suspicion. “Explain,” he says slowly, still not entirely believing. Patrick launches into an elaborate story about how through the power of eastern medicine he established an unbreakable bond between him and the Dongle. Thus if the Dongle destroys him, then the Dongle itself is destroyed and thus cannot destroy him. “It’s a singularity, you see?” Patrick finishes, wiping chalk from his hands and looking with satisfaction at the blackboard full of equations. Manfred scoffs, “As if I care. Destroying you will be worth destroying the world, just to see the look on your face.” Patrick stumbles backwards again telling Manfred to wait. “I… OK… to save the world I can break the bond. I just… I need some tools from my apartment.” Manfred sighs and nods. Save the world, destroy the world. It’s all the same to him as long as Patrick ends up dead. After arriving at the apartment Manfred looks around. “So where is this so-called ‘tool’ you need to break the bond? Don’t tell me it’s in this giant, unwieldy, obviously useless box.” he says, thumping his hand on the giant crate still taking up 95% of the apartment. Patrick turns with a twinkle in his eye. “Ah, I see,” Manfred says with a smirk, “there never was a tool. Just buying some time. Am I right?” But Patrick’s smile only gets bigger. “No, you’re very wrong. So wrong they might even call you…” That’s right! We are watching the 1996 black comedy Mr. Wrong starring Ellen DeGeneres and Bill Pullman. Celebrating its 25th anniversary this year we get to find out if perhaps 25 years later it’s better than people thought (hint: probably not). Let’s go!

“And always keep a safe!” Kyle says. He sweeps a very patriotic American flag aside to reveal a safe. “But we never kept anything in it,” Kyle says confused. But Jamie shakes his head, “I don’t think we ever had to… it’ll contain what we need, when we need it. This is Party Town, USA remember,” he says with a wink. With a turn he opens the safe and Kyle’s mouth falls open in shock. “Holy…” That’s right! We’re pairing Mr. Wrong with another misguided marriage-centric comedy called Holy Matrimony where a woman ends up being forced to marry a literal child… so… you can see why that never made it to theaters. Let’s go!

Mr. Wrong (1996) – BMeTric: 52.7; Notability: 40

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 4.4%; Notability: top 17.2%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 2.9%; Higher BMeT: Barb Wire, Kazaam, Striptease, Bio-Dome, The Island of Dr. Moreau, Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace, Ed, The Crow: City of Angels, Hellraiser: Bloodline, The Stupids, Mr. Wrong; Higher Notability: Eraser, The Fan, Jingle All The Way, Spy Hard, Chain Reaction, Daylight, The Associate, Eddie, Mulholland Falls, Up Close & Personal, Dear God, Sgt. Bilko, Eye for an Eye, The Island of Dr. Moreau, The Adventures of Pinocchio, The Crow: City of Angels, Space Truckers, Larger Than Life, In Love and War, Joe’s Apartment, and 23 more; Lower RT: The Dentist, Ed, Big Bully, Adrenalin: Fear the Rush, Ripe, Bio-Dome, Kazaam; Notes: Just about top ten BMeTric of the year which is pretty amazing for a film I’ve barely heard of. That makes sense though since the IMDb rating is below 4.0! And this isn’t some recent thing either, it has always been below 4.0. Incredible edible cred.

Leonard Maltin – 2 stars –  Single DeGeneres finds the perfect man in Pullman … or so she thinks. Not the light, funny romantic comedy you might expect, but a dark-humored attempt at satire on stalking. DeGeneres, in her starring debut, turns in a fine performance opposite the always reliable Pullman, but an uneven script works against the cast.

(Huh, interesting. Two out of four stars is a lot higher than I would have expected for a bad comedy. I also like Pullman, so maybe I’ll also kind of dig it.)

Trailer –  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IKuR9Npr1bY 

(Haha the Honey I Shrunk Your Kids theme straight into Now That’s What I Call Music soundtracks. The movie looks wild. Maybe just a people-change-after-getting-married situation, but we’ll see.)

DirectorsNick Castle – ( Known For: The Last Starfighter; The Boy Who Could Fly; Tap; Tag: The Assassination Game; Delivering Milo; The Seat Filler; Future BMT: Major Payne; Dennis the Menace; BMT: Mr. Wrong; Notes: He played The Shape (i.e. Michael Myers) in Halloween, and has reprised the role in the recent films. Wrote Hook.)

WritersChris Matheson – ( Known For: Bill & Ted Face the Music; Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure; A Goofy Movie; Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey; Imagine That; Rapture-Palooza; Evil Alien Conquerors; Future BMT: Mom and Dad Save the World; BMT: Mr. Wrong; Notes: Had cameos in all three Bill & Ted films as an Ugle Waiter, Ugly Seance Member, and Ugly Demon.)

Kerry Ehrin – ( Future BMT: Inspector Gadget; BMT: Mr. Wrong; Notes: Has produced a ton of television and wrote on many of the shows as well, including Friday Night Lights. She was nominated for Emmys for that and The Wonder Years.)

Craig Munson – ( BMT: Mr. Wrong; Notes: His only other credit is a single episode of Cold Feet which ran for 8 episodes in 1999.)

ActorsEllen DeGeneres – ( Known For: Finding Nemo; Finding Dory; Doctor Dolittle; Edtv; Future BMT: Coneheads; The Love Letter; Goodbye Lover; BMT: Mr. Wrong; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst New Star for Mr. Wrong in 1997; Notes: Famous stand-up comedian who notably came out in the late 90s. She had one of the biggest talk shows around until it somewhat abruptly ended amid controversy.)

Bill Pullman – ( Known For: Casper; The Equalizer; Independence Day; A League of Their Own; Spaceballs; The Equalizer 2; Dark Waters; Wyatt Earp; Sleepless in Seattle; Lost Highway; While You Were Sleeping; Lake Placid; Battle of the Sexes; The Guilty; The High Note; Singles; American Ultra; The Last Seduction; Malice; Ruthless People; Future BMT: Scary Movie 4; The Grudge; Newsies; Brokedown Palace; The Favour; Lucky Numbers; Sibling Rivalry; Nobel Son; BMT: Independence Day: Resurgence; Mr. Wrong; Notes: Was I think somewhat notably a “Baxter” in romantic comedies in the 90s (the bland guy who the leading lady left for the leading man). Was most recently in the anthology series The Sinner.)

Joan Cusack – ( Known For: Addams Family Values; School of Rock; Sixteen Candles; The Perks of Being a Wallflower; Toy Story 4; High Fidelity; Toy Story 3; Toy Story 2; Say Anything…; Klaus; Instant Family; Working Girl; Grosse Pointe Blank; My Sister’s Keeper; Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping; Looney Tunes: Back in Action; In & Out; Let It Snow; Runaway Bride; Friends with Money; Future BMT: Class; Chicken Little; Snatched; Where the Heart Is; Raising Helen; Nine Months; Mars Needs Moms; The Allnighter; Hoodwinked Too! Hood vs. Evil; Corrina, Corrina; Martian Child; BMT: Confessions of a Shopaholic; Toys; Mr. Wrong; Notes: Nominated for two Oscars for In & Out and Working Girl. Was also notably in a recent anthology series called Homecoming.)

Budget/Gross – $19 million / Domestic: $12,825,141 (Worldwide: $12,825,141)

(Pretty rough. Probably one of the main reasons Ellen wouldn’t get another leading role and instead end up being just a heavy hitter on television.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 7% (2/29): A mean-spirited joke without a punchline, Mr. Wrong is so painfully unfunny that Ellen DeGeneres and Bill Pullman’s lack of chemistry feels like a total drag despite being the point.

(Wow, that is a low score! I didn’t realize just how poorly it was received. Well, I don’t like unfunny comedies, so this should be a delight.)

Reviewer Highlight: As directed sloppily by Nick Castle, this comedy barely lets its main characters develop, even though either of them could be great fun. – Janet Maslin, New York Times

Poster – Mr. Sklog

(Very 90’s. I can imagine the poster hanging in the theater hoping to entice people. Bad font and weird framing, but at least a bit fun and obviously conveys something about the movie. C+)

Tagline(s) – He loved her from afar. It wasn’t far enough. (B)

(Makes almost no sense with the plot of the film. This reads like he’s a crazy stalker when that’s not really the case… or at least for a big part of the film. Anyway, could be shorter, but clever enough.)

Keyword(s) – date

Top 10: Free Guy (2021), Venom (2018), American Psycho (2000), The Departed (2006), Deadpool (2016), Once Upon a Time in America (1984), Game Night (2018), Lolita (1997), Good Will Hunting (1997), Spider-Man 3 (2007)

Future BMT: 71.2 The Animal (2001), 65.4 102 Dalmatians (2000), 62.7 My Super Ex-Girlfriend (2006), 52.3 Just My Luck (2006), 49.0 Blank Cheque (1994), 48.2 Employee of the Month (2006), 45.8 The Perfect Man (2005), 41.4 Boiling Point (1993), 40.3 Head Over Heels (2001), 39.1 Good Burger (1997)

BMT: Police Academy (1984), Batman Forever (1995), Blended (2014), The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009), A Walk to Remember (2002), Jack and Jill (2011), Crossroads (2002), Untraceable (2008), Vampire in Brooklyn (1995), Jade (1995), Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son (2011), Diary of a Mad Black Woman (2005), Welcome to Mooseport (2004), Never Talk to Strangers (1995), Bangkok Dangerous (2008), Mr. Wrong (1996), Bye Bye Love (1995)

Matches: It Follows (2014), The Notebook (2004), Office Space (1999), Megamind (2010), The 40 Year-Old Virgin (2005), The Wedding Singer (1998), The Blob (1988), Blended (2014), One Day (2011), The Ugly Truth (2009), Holidate (2020), Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates (2016), St. Elmo’s Fire (1985), The Voices (2014), A Goofy Movie (1995), Better Off Dead… (1985), The Funhouse (1981), Terms of Endearment (1983), The American (2010), Employee of the Month (2006), The Ides of March (2011), Man Up (2015), Hannah and Her Sisters (1986), License to Drive (1988), Secret Admirer (1985), I Could Never Be Your Woman (2007), Things to Do in Denver When You’re Dead (1995), A Love Song for Bobby Long (2004), Blue Steel (1990), My Super Ex-Girlfriend (2006), Win a Date with Tad Hamilton! (2004), Nightmare Sisters (1988), Must Love Dogs (2005), … (and a bunch more)

(Funny that so many of them seemed to have some out in 1995 specifically. And yeah, there was a date (probably) in all of these films. What a weird keyword. Does show how decent the matches are though, a lot of those do seem like they are focused on dating in a way.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 17) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Joan Cusack is No. 3 billed in Mr. Wrong and No. 3 billed in Toys, which also stars LL Cool J (No. 6 billed) who is in Rollerball (No. 2 billed) which also stars Chris Klein (No. 1 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 2 billed) => (3 + 3) + (6 + 2) + (1 + 2) = 17. If we were to watch Jack, and The Glass House we can get the HoE Number down to 14.

Notes – Lisa Kudrow screentested for the role of Annie.

Ed McMahon screentested for the role of Dick Braxton.

David Arquette, Adrien Brody, Ben Affleck, and Noah Wyle screentested for the role of Walter.

Most likely, the inspiration for this title is S01-E03 of the Ellen sitcom, where she dates Mr. Perfect off personal ads & Adam tells her the date sounds creepy and must have something wrong with him.

Awards – Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst New Star (Ellen DeGeneres, 1997)

Freejack Preview

Patrick carefully looks over his manuscript. It’s near perfection. Definitely a professional novel by a professional writer who does everything very professionally. And yet his eraser is poised in mid-air, waiting to take near perfection all the way to no ‘bout-a-doubt it, John-Travolta-Jamie-Lee-Curtis perfect. “Aha,” he thinks and lowers the eraser to the phrase, ‘Not a spinning flying double scissor kick!’ He deftly replaces it with ‘Not a spinning flying twin scissor kick,’ making it obvious why this is the only weakness of The Wishmaster. He then takes a moment to shake his head at the piece of shit hack Manfred Long, still caught in his quickening while his page remains blank, before jumping back into the main thrust of his narrative.

With The Wishmaster defeated by their very logical spinning flying twin scissor kick, Clutch Guthrie smooths back his hair and compliments Kat on her scissor kick form. She scoffs at the obvious pick up line but also admits that Clutch’s glutes were in fine form on the landing. With bated breath and a moment to ponder their mutual attraction they soon find themselves in the midst of a passionate make-out session for the ages. You best believe they are frenching hard. In between kisses they agree that since the Wishmaster has been dispatched the only logical thing to do is to team up and free the Vice President. “You mean it?” asks Clutch and Kat nods. “Yeah,” she says breathlessly, “Let’s go free Jack Parrot, the Vice President of the United States.” 

Patrick wipes a tear from his eye as he details how the anthem of the United States swells in the background and then proceeds to treat his readers to a very patriotic and tasteful sex scene. That’s right! We are watching Freejack, the Emilio Estevez/Mick Jagger futuristic thriller that somehow didn’t totally work. Who would have thought? Let’s go!

Back in Party Town, USA Jamie waits several years for Kyle and the cyborgs to arrive. “You thought we couldn’t hack jack into your puny party town?” they cackle, but Jamie just smirks. “No, we thought you could hack jack in, but we’re pretty sure you can’t cyber jack your way out. Hit it, Kyle!” That’s right! We are pairing Freejack with the Michael Dudikoff classic Cyberjack. Classic Dudikoff, am I right? Let’s go!

Freejack (1992) – BMeTric: 44.1; Notability: 62

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 4.0%; Notability: top 2.0%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 11.3%; Higher BMeT: Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot, Body of Evidence, Cool World, Pet Sematary II, Toys, Children of the Corn II: The Final Sacrifice, The Lawnmower Man, Sleepwalkers, 3 Ninja Kids, Poison Ivy; Higher Notability: Toys, Cool World, Newsies, Home Alone 2: Lost in New York, Tom and Jerry: The Movie; Lower RT: Once Upon a Crime…, Love Crimes, Folks!, Live Wire, Year of the Comet, Frozen Assets, Cool World, Man Trouble, Christopher Columbus: The Discovery, The Opposite Sex and How to Live with Them, Body of Evidence, Mom and Dad Save the World, Passed Away, Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot, Claire of the Moon, Ladybugs, Mr. Baseball, The Distinguished Gentleman, The Gun in Betty Lou’s Handbag, Tom and Jerry: The Movie, and 5 more; Notes: I’m liking the look of that Notability, 60 is crazy high for 1992, especially for a movie like this. Look at those higher BMeT films as wall! Seen a lot of those, but Poison Ivy is a particularly exciting prospect.

Leonard Maltin – 1.5 stars –  Good cast is wasted in this mindless actioner, in which race car driver Estevez dies in 1991 and finds his body snatched into the year 2009 so that it may house the soul of ruthless tycoon Hopkins. Tiresome, superficial fare. Based on the novel Immortality, Inc. by Robert Sheckley. Jagger plays a bounty hunter; it’s his first screen acting role since Performance in 1970.

(Based on a book huh? I wonder how long it is. Do you think I could read it in a day. That is tempting. Interesting to call it an actioner. It probably fits that definition, but it feels weird to call what must be a real deal sci-fi film an “actioner”.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Zxr-Y-5YyA/

(My god, it looks incredible! The graphics, the kind of crappy dystopian near-future, the guitar licks. Mick Jagger out of nowhere barely acting. A bunch of race cars. What racing circuit is Estevez competing in? Looked like a junior Indycar or something, the cars looked tiny.)

DirectorsGeoff Murphy – (Known For: The Quiet Earth; Fortress 2; Utu; Goodbye Pork Pie; Never Say Die; Spooked; Future BMT: Under Siege 2: Dark Territory; BMT: Young Guns II: Blaze of Glory; Freejack; Notes: Right, we just watched a film by him in Young Guns II, where I mentioned he’s from New Zealand and got what amounted to a knighthood for his contributions to film there.)

WritersRobert Sheckley – (Known For: The Tenth Victim; Condorman; The Prize of Peril; Dead Run; BMT: Freejack; Notes: Wrote Immortality Inc. which is what the film is based on. In his later life he wrote a bunch of movelizations of television shows and stuff, like Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: The Laertian Gamble.)

Steven Pressfield – (Known For: The Legend of Bagger Vance; Above the Law; Joshua Tree; Separate Lives; BMT: Freejack; King Kong Lives; Notes: Apparently wrote drafts of Hard to Kill and Total Recall. He was born in Trinidad.)

Ronald Shusett – (Known For: Alien; Aliens; Prometheus; Total Recall; Alien: Covenant; Alien³; Alien Resurrection; Dead and Buried; Above the Law; Campsite Massacre; Hemoglobin; Phobia; W; Future BMT: Total Recall; BMT: AVP: Alien vs. Predator; AVPR: Aliens vs Predator – Requiem; Freejack; King Kong Lives; Notes: The writing partner of Pressfield, although he ended up with a ton of other (character) credits since he has a story credit on the original Alien.)

Dan Gilroy – (Known For: Nightcrawler; Kong: Skull Island; The Fall; The Bourne Legacy; Real Steel; Velvet Buzzsaw; Roman J. Israel, Esq.; Future BMT: Chasers; Two for the Money; BMT: Freejack; Notes: Son of Pulitzer Prize winning playwright Frank D. Gilroy. Was nominated for an Oscar for Nightcrawler. His two brothers are also in the business, with Tony Gilroy nominated for Oscars for writing and directing Michael Clayton, and John Gilroy an editor (of things like Rogue One).)

ActorsEmilio Estevez – (Known For: The Outsiders; The Breakfast Club; Mission: Impossible; St. Elmo’s Fire; Young Guns; Badlands; The Way; Repo Man; Stakeout; The Public; Bobby; Tex; Wisdom; The War at Home; Never on Tuesday; Sand; The L.A. Riot Spectacular; Los reyes magos; Future BMT: The Mighty Ducks; D2: The Mighty Ducks; Men at Work; Arthur and the Invisibles; D3: The Mighty Ducks; Loaded Weapon 1; Judgment Night; That Was Then… This Is Now; Another Stakeout; Nightmares; BMT: Young Guns II: Blaze of Glory; Maximum Overdrive; Freejack; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Actor for Maximum Overdrive in 1987; Notes: The son of Martin Sheen and brother of Charlie Sheen he declined to take the stage name Sheen like they did. A fairly accomplished director, he’s apparently making a third Young Guns film.)

Mick Jagger – (Known For: The Bank Job; The Burnt Orange Heresy; Fitzcarraldo; Performance; Enigma; Bent; Ned Kelly; The Man from Elysian Fields; Running Out of Luck; BMT: Freejack; Notes: The lead singer of The Rolling Stones. He has eight children, he was nominated for an Emmy for the documentary Crossfire Hurricane, and very rarely acts (and his scene in Fitzcarraldo was cut out).)

Rene Russo – (Known For: Avengers: Endgame; Thor; Nightcrawler; Thor: The Dark World; The Intern; Major League; In the Line of Fire; The Thomas Crown Affair; Velvet Buzzsaw; Outbreak; Lethal Weapon 3; Lethal Weapon 4; Get Shorty; Ransom; Tin Cup; Big Trouble; The Adventures of Rocky & Bullwinkle; Frank and Cindy; Future BMT: Two for the Money; Yours, Mine & Ours; Major League II; Showtime; Just Getting Started; Mr. Destiny; One Good Cop; Buddy; BMT: Freejack; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Supporting Actress for The Adventures of Rocky & Bullwinkle in 2001; Notes: Very accomplished actress, she married Dan Gilroy, the writer of the film, in 1994. They are still together.)

Budget/Gross – $30 million / Domestic: $17,129,026 (Worldwide: $17,129,026)

(Oh that ain’t good. You want more than that. These always seem like a tough beat because making a futuristic film costs money, but then you look at it and wonder if they actually thought they’d make $30 million let alone a profit? It seems like a bit of Hollywood accounting to a degree.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 18% (3/17)

(ooooo, I get to make a consensus. Mostly a string of chase scenes and smashing up sets, Freejack does a disservice to the actors with its lack of wit.)

Reviewer Highlight: The trouble with low-rent science-fiction movies is that beneath all the futuristic gimcrackery — the video phones and laser guns and hyperspace leaps, the obligatory time-travel setups — you realize, at some point, that you’re watching a routine urban chase thriller: Lethal Weapon 2000. – Owen Gleiberman, Entertainment Weekly

Poster – Freejack Attack is Back, Jack

(I’m giving them an E for effort, but this is… not a good thing they have done. Funny, too, that Hopkins is so high up on that poster. He barely appears in the film while Rene Russo does all the heavy lifting. The font and the soft blue tone rescue it a bit, but it hurts my eyes. C-.)

Tagline(s) – Alex Furlong died today. Eighteen years from now, he’ll be running for his life. (D)

(Again, this is bold. If I had to create an impossibly confusing tagline for a film to ensure that a) no one would read it and b) no one would understand it, this would be it. The only thing this tells you is that it’s set in the future. That and to steer clear of the film.)

Keyword(s) – bounty-hunter

Top 10: Once Upon a Time… In Hollywood (2019), Blade Runner 2049 (2017), Django Unchained (2012), Thor: Ragnarok (2017), Guardians of the Galaxy (2014), Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker (2019), No Country for Old Men (2007), Birds of Prey (2020), Guardians of the Galaxy: Vol. 2 (2017), The Magnificent Seven (2016)

Future BMT: 58.7 Suburban Commando (1991), 44.1 Identity Thief (2013), 40.7 Pink Cadillac (1989), 37.3 Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (2012), 35.9 Domino (2005), 32.5 Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008), 30.8 Spacehunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone (1983), 30.4 Mortal Engines (2018), 29.2 All About the Benjamins (2002), 20.6 The Three Musketeers (1993)

BMT: Jupiter Ascending (2015), Transformers: Age of Extinction (2014), Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters (2013), Ghost Rider (2007), Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday (1993), Young Guns II: Blaze of Glory (1990), The Darkest Minds (2018), Jonah Hex (2010), The Bounty Hunter (2010), Barb Wire (1996), Freejack (1992), One for the Money (2012), Critters 2 (1988)

Matches: The Hateful Eight (2015), Star Wars: Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back (1980), The Ballad of Buster Scruggs (2018), The Chronicles of Riddick (2004), Raising Arizona (1987), Transformers: Age of Extinction (2014), Ghost Rider (2007), Midnight Run (1988), Mud (2012), Critters (1986), Identity Thief (2013), Dead Man (1995), Jonah Hex (2010), Welcome to the Jungle (2003), The Bounty Hunter (2010), Domino (2005), Barb Wire (1996), Home on the Range (2004), Freejack (1992), One for the Money (2012), The Hunter (1980), Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust (2000), Spacehunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone (1983), All About the Benjamins (2002), Trancers (1984), Last of the Dogmen (1995), Dragon Warriors (2015), Scorched Earth (2018), Wanted: Dead or Alive (1986), The Night Crew (2015), Phoenix 2 (1995), Hard Bounty (1995), Future Force (1989), The Retrieval (2013), Coast to Coast (1980), Neon City (1991), Grim Prairie Tales: Hit the Trail… to Terror (1990), The Blue Iguana (1988), Future Zone (1990), Moving Target (1996), Space Rage (1985), The Other Side (2006), Meaner Than Hell (2009), The Mandalorian Legacy (2009), Street Hunter (1990), L.A. Bounty (1989), White Wall (2010), Galaxy Hunter (2004), Big Mistake (2014), The Bounty Hunter (1989), Revengeance (2016), Blackhats (2015), Sin’s Kitchen (2004), Six Gun (2008), The Big Bang (2003), Boston Nightly: Long Term Parking (2015)

(So many bounty hunter films. It feels like maybe you could make a cycle? Identity Thief (Comedy), Suburban Commando (Action), The Three Musketeers (Romance), Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (Horror) … yeah I think it wouldn’t be that hard, although too bad we already did The Bounty Hunter since Romance is a stretch with The Three Musketeers.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 20) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Anthony Hopkins is No. 4 billed in Freejack and No. 1 billed in The Rite, which also stars Ciarán Hinds (No. 5 billed) who is in Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance (No. 2 billed) which also stars Nicolas Cage (No. 1 billed) who is in The Wicker Man (No. 1 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 5 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (4 + 1) + (5 + 2) + (1 + 1) + (5 + 1) = 20. If we were to watch Two for the Money we can get the HoE Number down to 12.

Notes – Rene Russo (Julie Redlund) met her husband, co-writer Dan Gilroy, during production. They have been married since 1992.

According to reports at the time of the production and interviews with some members of cast and crew, the test screening was disastrous. Producer Ronald Shusett was brought in to re-shoot almost half of the movie, and add more character scenes and humor. Emilio Estevez said that director Geoff Murphy let them down by focusing too much on action.

The film was loosely based on the 1959 science fiction novel “Immortality, Inc.” by Robert Sheckley.

On an episode of ‘How Did This Get Made?’, it was revealed that Mick Jagger was offered this movie one week before shooting was scheduled to begin, and he decided to do it on the spot, based on a short description of the plot. He also said that if he had been given a few months to read the script and think about it, he probably would have declined.

Mick Jagger’s first dramatic movie as an actor since the mid-1980s with ‘Running out of Luck’ and ‘Laughter in the Dark’. He was cast in the wake of The Rolling Stones’ lucrative 1989-90 Steel Wheels tour, which was accompanied by their album of the same name.

The film’s premiere event was held nearly a month after it had already been released in theaters.

The film takes place in November 2009.

The racing footage was filmed at Road Atlanta using Formula Atlantic cars.

On VHS copies of this movie, the music video for Scorpions “Hit between the Eyes” is included. The video contains concert footage and scenes from the movie.

Cinematographer Amir Mokri’s first experience shooting a movie with anamorphic lenses. He did not do so again until Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011).

The hat that Emilio Estevez wears when in disguise was intended to be the same hat used in Young Guns 2 (1990), but the iconic prop had already been claimed by Lou Diamond Phillips on completion of principal photography.

Alex tells Boone that they’ve had it and Boone says, “What do you mean ‘we’, white man?” This is a nod to an old Lone Ranger joke about the hero and his Indian friend Tonto being surrounded by Indians.

Jerry Hall: Mick Jagger’s then-wife plays the television reporter who interviews Alex.

Terminal Velocity Preview

“Just a teensy little wish, Patrick, before you watch your beloved Rich & Poe die when I send you back to the BMTverse… forever,” the piece of shit hack Manfred Long says with a smirk, fondling the Obsidian Dongle the cyborgs stole for him. “The power, it feels good,” he whispers to himself… or as if he’s in conversation with someone. Patrick scoffs, “you always did have to steal everything you got from me,” and staring daggers he approaches Manfred and tears his cable knit sweater asunder. Manfred gasps and shaking with furor points the Obsidian Dongle at Patrick. The power Manfred holds could destroy not only Patrick’s physical being, but erase his memory from existence, and yet he never even blinks. Manfred wrestles to regain control of himself. Patrick can see how much he desires making Patrick watch his creations die. “Fine,” he finally says, brow damp with sweat, “no wishes. So how about you grant me one final wish and perhaps we make it interesting. A write-off. One story. You make a better one and I spare your friends. I make a better one and you all are doomed to walk the wastelands of BMTverse forever.” Patrick smirks and immediately tears off his black jumpsuit to reveal a cable-knit sweater underneath. Manfred grits his teeth and Patrick shrugs, “I guess I just had an inkling things might be going this way,” and with that pulls his collapsible typewriter out of his previously unmentioned stylish and useful fanny pack. “Subject?” Patrick asks, adjusting his glasses and Manfred thinks for a second. He begins to speak and Patrick can tell he wants to say Swamp Monster Romance, his genre of choice, but pauses… originality is the word of the day, “how about something rad… something x-treme.” Patrick nods. That’s right! We’re getting super rad AND x-treme with Terminal Velocity starring Charlie Sheen. Not to be confused with Drop Zone, the other 1994 skydiving thriller, which, alas, does not qualify for BMT. To be honest, when we chose this I kinda thought we were going to watch Drop Zone. Oops. Let’s go!

Jamie, Kyle, and Lindsey jump onto Rachel’s hang glider and turn laughing at the big, dumbo cyborgs. Their laughter dies as they see rocket packs and metal wings extend from the cyborg’s bodies. Gulp. “Woooah! Those cyborgs are crackerjack,” Kyle exclaims, using very cool lingo of the day. That’s right! We are watching Crackerjack as the friend. It’s basically Die Hard at a mountain resort… really most of our friends are Die Hard. Let’s go!

Terminal Velocity (1994) – BMeTric: 39.4; Notability: 41

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 14.4%; Notability: top 16.8%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 19.6%; Higher BMeT: Street Fighter, Police Academy: Mission to Moscow, The Return of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Junior, The Next Karate Kid, Double Dragon, The Flintstones, It’s Pat: The Movie, On Deadly Ground, North, Leprechaun 2, 3 Ninjas Kick Back, The Fantastic Four, Exit to Eden, Color of Night, Ri¢hie Ri¢h, Car 54, Where Are You?, In the Army Now, Getting Even with Dad, Blank Cheque, and 16 more; Higher Notability: The Flintstones, The Shadow, Beverly Hills Cop III, Love Affair, Prêt-à-Porter, North, Frankenstein, I Love Trouble, Radioland Murders, The Pagemaster, Exit to Eden, Little Giants, D2: The Mighty Ducks, Street Fighter, Junior, Thumbelina, Speechless, The Specialist, Major League II, Blue Chips, and 22 more; Lower RT: Wagons East, Police Academy: Mission to Moscow, House Party 3, It’s Pat: The Movie, Death Wish 5: The Face of Death, A Low Down Dirty Shame, Car 54, Where Are You?, The Silence of the Hams, Holy Matrimony, Erotique, Getting Even with Dad, Major League II, Trapped in Paradise, Exit to Eden, Lightning Jack, In the Army Now, Leprechaun 2, The Specialist, The Next Karate Kid, Trial by Jury, and 25 more; Notes: 1994 must have been a bomb year for bad movies. Over 20 films with <10% on Rotten Tomatoes! Not all of them will qualify, but still, that is just excellent stuff for the top 250 films on IMDb for the year.

RogerEbert.com – 2.0 stars – You’ve gotta hand it to “Terminal Velocity:” This movie may be dumb as a box of shredded wheat, but it has the damnedest action sequence I’ve seen since Arnold Schwarzenegger blasted the bad guy with the missile in “True Lies.” Nastassja Kinski is locked in the trunk of a red Cadillac, which is taken aboard a cargo plane. Charlie Sheen pursues in another plane, walks on its wing, hauls himself aboard the cargo plane, and then finds himself, Kinski and the Cadillac all falling through the air – with a villain on the hood shooting at him. This is an assignment for Houdini.

(I really like this review. A fun mix of “it is good for what it is” and “also BTW just in case I wasn’t clear, it is also garbage. Just good for being garbage.” Watching the trailer I honestly have no idea how Charlie Sheen ended up being a comedy-action star. It seems really weird seeing him be not-very-good at acting.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cMzjb5OeYng/

(“What happened to 3?!” Oooooooooof, that is a bad line. So is “pack the bags, we’re going on a guilt trip.” 1994 must have been the heyday of the WTF script readings. We used to get them in BMT all the time, and haven’t for a while. This is going to bring that back. I can tell.)

DirectorsDeran Sarafian – (Known For: Alien Predator; To Die For; Roadflower; Interzone; Back in the U.S.S.R.; Future BMT: Death Warrant; Gunmen; BMT: Terminal Velocity; Notes: Interesting career. Went from a director of features, to a long time director of television, and now is a producer for television including getting two Emmy nominations as a producer of House M.D.)

WritersDavid Twohy – (Known For: The Fugitive; Waterworld; Riddick; G.I. Jane; Pitch Black; A Perfect Getaway; The Arrival; Below; Warlock; Timescape; The Second Arrival; Future BMT: The Chronicles of Riddick; Impostor; Warlock: The Armageddon; BMT: Terminal Velocity; Critters 2; Notes: He has genuinely written a ton of the Riddick stuff, including being attached as a writer on the upcoming show Merc City.)

ActorsCharlie Sheen – (Known For: Ferris Bueller’s Day Off; Platoon; Major League; Wall Street; Young Guns; Being John Malkovich; Red Dawn; Badlands; The Wraith; Hot Shots!; Hot Shots! Part Deux; Grizzly II: The Concert; Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps; 9/11; The Arrival; Lucas; Catchfire; Foodfight!; Eight Men Out; Mad Families; Future BMT: The Three Musketeers; Scary Movie 3; Due Date; Scary Movie 4; Machete Kills; The Rookie; Men at Work; Major League II; Loaded Weapon 1; Madea’s Witness Protection; Navy Seals; Money Talks; Shadow Conspiracy; All Dogs Go to Heaven 2: Charlie’s New Adventure; BMT: Scary Movie 5; Terminal Velocity; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Screen Combo for Scary Movie 5 in 2014; Notes: The son of Martin Sheen and brother of Emilio Estevez. He’s had a crazy life we don’t have to get into, but it involves drugs and he seemed like he has gone through some seriously hard times over the years. Was nominated for four Emmys for Two and a Half Men.)

Nastassja Kinski – (Known For: Paris, Texas; Cat People; Inland Empire; One from the Heart; Tess; Stay as You Are; Playing by Heart; The Hotel New Hampshire; Faraway, So Close!; To the Devil a Daughter; An American Rhapsody; Revolution; Maria’s Lovers; One Night Stand; Savior; The Claim; Wrong Move; Cold Heart; Your Friends & Neighbors; Il sole anche di notte; Future BMT: Fathers’ Day; Unfaithfully Yours; BMT: Terminal Velocity; Town & Country; Notes: The daughter of Klaus Kinski obviously. Had a child with Quincy Jones in 1993 and has two others including Sonja Jones who appears to act a bit.)

James Gandolfini – (Known For: Zero Dark Thirty; True Romance; The Last Boy Scout; Fallen; Killing Them Softly; Crimson Tide; The Drop; The Last Castle; Get Shorty; Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil; The Taking of Pelham 123; Enough Said; Where the Wild Things Are; Romance & Cigarettes; The Man Who Wasn’t There; The Mexican; In the Loop; Not Fade Away; Welcome to the Rileys; Dance with the Devil; Future BMT: 8MM; The Incredible Burt Wonderstone; All the King’s Men; The Juror; Surviving Christmas; Close to Eden; BMT: Terminal Velocity; Notes: Died in 2013. His son is playing his character in the Sopranos prequel film The Many Saints of Newark.)

Budget/Gross – $50,000,000 / Domestic: $16,487,349 (Worldwide: $16,487,349)

(That is a pretty brutal return. The notes seem to suggest the film went over budget by a huge degree, so maybe they were planning on a svelte $25 million film or something, but no matter how you cut it that isn’t what you want for you action film in 1994.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 19% (5/26): More of a string of formulaic set pieces than an actual action thriller, Terminal Velocity ends up going nowhere fast.

(That’s all I really want I think. Some of the good reviews seem to claim it wins the “skydiving” war of 1994. The other would appear to be Drop Zone, and the critics evidently disagree, that has a 41% on Rotten Tomatoes and doesn’t qualify.)

Reviewer Highlight: Some of the comic writing undercuts the preposterous story. – Gene Siskel, Chicago Tribune

Poster – Terminal Sklogocity

(I LOVE THIS. My god. Sometimes the worst, most forgotten films have the best looking posters. I’d buy this for my house, have my wife tell me “hell no,” and put it into storage… that’s how much I love this. A++)

Tagline(s) – It is not the fall that kills you (C-)

(I think I understand what they are going for (parachuting is the safe part of the film, right?), but these words really don’t make much sense together. Sometimes I have to stop thinking too hard about a tagline because my head starts hurting.)

Keyword(s) – kgb

Top 10: Munich (2005), Anna (2019), The Man from U.N.C.L.E. (2015), Bridge of Spies (2015), The Terminal (2004), Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008), Atomic Blonde (2017), Gorky Park (1983), Eastern Promises (2007), The Good Shepherd (2006)

Future BMT: 50.4 Spy Hard (1996), 30.9 Jumpin’ Jack Flash (1986), 29.6 Firefox (1982), 28.8 The Sentinel (2006), 24.1 A View to a Kill (1985), 21.5 The Jackal (1997), 20.4 Spies Like Us (1985), 18.8 Gotcha! (1985), 16.2 Anna (2019), 10.9 Rocky IV (1985)

BMT: Terminal Velocity (1994)

Matches: Munich (2005), The Man from U.N.C.L.E. (2015), The Living Daylights (1987), Spy Hard (1996), Terminal Velocity (1994), Black Eagle (1988), Best Defence (1984), The Experts (1989), A Different Loyalty (2004), Scorpion (1986), Zits (1988), Dead Aim (1987), Keeping Track (1986), Comrades in Arms (1991), KGB: The Secret War (1985), A Lonely Place for Dying (2009), Scavengers (1988)

(A View to a Kill, Rocky IV, Gotcha!, and Spies Like Us all came out in 1985, wowza. I really like this plot, funny just how few films came out in the 90s with the KGB involved in any way, and then looking at the full matches sooooo many are from ‘85 to ‘90. Amazing this is the first, we have a lot of work to do on action/comedy films from the 80s it would seem.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 20) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Nastassja Kinski is No. 2 billed in Terminal Velocity and No. 6 billed in Town & Country, which also stars Josh Hartnett (No. 9 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 3 billed) => (2 + 6) + (9 + 3) = 20. If we were to watch Surviving Christmas, and Pearl Harbor we can get the HoE Number down to 13.

Notes – The news anchor that reports on the arrest of Ditch Brodie in downtown Phoenix is Martha Vazquez. She was then and still is a news anchor at KVOA News 4, Tucson.

Although the movie didn’t do particularly well in the box office, Charlie Sheen says it was one of his favorite movies to make.

Many scenes were filmed at an airfield near Marana, Arizona. This field has been used for civilian skydiving, aircraft storage, military training, and CIA functions. Evergreen International Aviation, a sometimes CIA contractor based in McMinnville, Oregon, has had operations at this field.

Ditch drives a white 1970 Dodge Challenger, an homage to the iconic white 1970 Dodge Challenger in Vanishing Point (1971), which was directed by Richard C. Sarafian, the father of this movie’s director, Deran Sarafian.

The scene where the plane makes an emergency landing is taken from Air America (1990).

In making this movie, they used 23 Cadillac Allante automobiles, destroying nine completely.

Fire Birds Preview

Patrick sips his mai tai and looks lazily around the bar in Party Town, USA. He and Kyle could no longer say how long they had been trapped in this never ending stream of party fun. For a while he kept reassuring Kyle that it was all a simulation, but his long bushy beard was now snow white and he had given up. They’d probably die here. Just like how the Vice President (who they rescued the day they arrived) had grown old and died peacefully a few years back. “Come on out here and party, dude,” Kyle yells to him, all the while dancing with one of the numerous bodacious bades that populated the city. Patrick waves him away with a sigh and gets back to his mai tai. Kyle plops down on the stool next to him. “Bro, I can always tell when you’re ready to poop on a party. You get that sad, party-pooper look in your eyes. You feeling blue?” Patrick nods. “Is it because we’ve been trapped in this party bar for 30-50 years?” Patrick nods again and sighs, “Yeah, sorry, man. I hate to rain on your parade.” Kyle shrugs and pats him on the shoulder, “You could never rain on my parade, bro. In fact, it never rains here at all. That’s what makes Party Town so great, right?” Suddenly Patrick looks around… that’s true. In 30-50 years it has never rained. Rain… water… mainframe. My god! He suddenly leaps up and looks around frantically before he sees it. The alarm. He looks up and sees the sprinklers Kyle had installed when he took over ownership of the bar. Just practical business sense he said… or a stroke of genius! “Fire,” Patrick whispers and Kyle just looks at him quizzically. “FIRE!” He screams. That’s right! We’re watching the Nic Cage/Tommy Lee Jones/Sean Young classic that we all remember, Fire Birds. It’s the helicopter knock-off of Top Gun that we were all clamouring for at the time and I can only assume it delivered on those points. Let’s go!

“Fire.” Jamie hears the whisper and pulls away from his steamy make out session with Lindsey. Was that Patrick he heard? Fire.. water… mainframe. “Where does that pipe lead?” He asks Lindsey, pointing at their steamy water pipe. “Uh,” she thinks, “up, I guess.” That’s right! We are starting in on our Bring a Friend cycle (the best cycle) with a little Guttenberg special, the 1998 film Airborne which is about a plane… or maybe a virus… I don’t know, but it def got the Gutes. Let’s go!

Fire Birds (1990) – BMeTric: 45.8; Notability: 25

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 4.4%; Notability: top 21.2%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 4.6%; Higher BMeT: Captain America, Look Who’s Talking Too, Rocky V, Ghost Dad, Graveyard Shift, Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre III, Repossessed, Soultaker, Problem Child, Delta Force 2: The Colombian Connection Higher Notability: RoboCop 2, The Bonfire of the Vanities, Predator 2, Days of Thunder, Jetsons: The Movie, The Adventures of Ford Fairlane, Air America, Captain America, Young Guns II: Blaze of Glory, Marked for Death, The Rookie, Rocky V, 3 Men and a Little Lady, Stella, Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles, Revenge, Bird on a Wire, Ghost Dad, Another 48 Hrs., Mr. Destiny, and 33 more; Lower RT: Problem Child, Death Warrant, Graveyard Shift, Repossessed, Coupe de Ville, Loose Cannons, Madhouse, Funny About Love, Soultaker, Ghost Dad, Spaced Invaders; Notes: The BMeTric is a lot higher than I would have expected since it only have around 6K ratings which is amazing low. We have obviously left a lot on the table as far as 1990 films are concerned. Very interesting that Soultaker gets a shoutout.

Leonard Maltin – BOMB –  High-tech Apache helicopters (with an assist from their pilots) take on South American drug cartels from the air. Standard military issue with a ruptured-duck script and no romantic chemistry between professional rivals Cage and Young. Jones doesn’t evoke memories of Gregory Peck in Twelve O’Clock High when he pep-talks Cage into a “full-tilt boogie for freedom and justice.”

(I’m having a hard time pinning down a definition for “ruptured-duck”. It has to do with a pin given to those honorably discharged in WWII, that much is for sure. So I guess he’s saying the film is ho-hum (standard issue) and the script is either old-school or maybe just bad (i.e. discharged)? Fascinating turn of phrase, Leonard.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9uOcWJ9ae5A/

(Yeah that is Top Gun for helicopters. All it is missing is Nic Cage buzzing the tower. Also as insane as it sounds that shows the entire climax of the film which is pretty nuts.)

DirectorsDavid Green – (Known For: Buster; Car Trouble; BMT: Fire Birds; Notes: British, he directed a load of Emmerdale Farm episodes (a British Soap). IMDb claims he has two new directorial efforts in production, but somehow I doubt that.)

WritersStep Tyner – (BMT: Fire Birds; Notes: Yeah so if you look around and search his name with Belvoir (Swensson’s production company) you can find that they were West Point classmates and Tyner wrote the original script, and Swensson marketed it. So that is how they are associated.)

John K. Swensson – (BMT: Fire Birds; Notes: I found his profile. It even mentions Fire Birds as just like a three year period of his life, strange.)

Dale Dye – (Known For: Occupation: Rainfall; BMT: Fire Birds; Notes: Apparently a military advisor on a number of films which he often gets bit parts in. This is no different, he plays A.K. McNeil in the film.)

Nick Thiel – (Known For: White Fang; Shipwrecked; The Experts; Future BMT: V.I. Warshawski; The Associate; BMT: Fire Birds; Notes: A producer for a ton of television which he also writes for. From 1987 to 1996 he wrote feature films. Nominated for an Emmy for Magnum P.I.)

Paul F. Edwards – (Known For: Trackdown; High-Ballin’; BMT: Fire Birds; Notes: Wrote a bunch of television including the show Wizards and Warriors.)

ActorsNicolas Cage – (Known For: Pig; Prisoners of the Ghostland; Willy’s Wonderland; The Rock; The Croods: A New Age; Fast Times at Ridgemont High; World Trade Center; Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse; Kick-Ass; Mandy; Color Out of Space; Leaving Las Vegas; National Treasure; Raising Arizona; Face/Off; Snowden; Con Air; Jiu Jitsu; Adaptation.; The Croods; Future BMT: Knowing; National Treasure: Book of Secrets; Next; 8MM; Windtalkers; G-Force; Trapped in Paradise; Amos & Andrew; BMT: Gone in Sixty Seconds; Ghost Rider; Drive Angry; Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance; Left Behind; The Wicker Man; Season of the Witch; Trespass; Captain Corelli’s Mandolin; Justice; Bangkok Dangerous; Fire Birds; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Actor in 2007 for The Wicker Man; in 2008 for Ghost Rider, National Treasure: Book of Secrets, and Next; in 2012 for Drive Angry, Season of the Witch, and Trespass; in 2013 for Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance, and Seeking Justice; and in 2015 for Left Behind; Nominee for Worst Supporting Actor for Snowden in 2017; and Nominee for Worst Screen Couple in 2007 for The Wicker Man; and in 2012 for Drive Angry, Season of the Witch, and Trespass; Notes: Won an Oscar of Leaving Las Vegas and was nominated for Adaptation. You know Nic Cage, he is apparently going to play Joe Exotic in a tv show about Tiger King, but somehow I doubt that will ever actually be produced.)

Tommy Lee Jones – (Known For: Captain America: The First Avenger; The Client; No Country for Old Men; Space Cowboys; Ad Astra; Wander; Jason Bourne; Men in Black; The Fugitive; Natural Born Killers; The Comeback Trail; Lincoln; JFK; Men in Black 3; Under Siege; Small Soldiers; The Missing; Love Story; The Homesman; Shock and Awe; Future BMT: Criminal; Men in Black II; Double Jeopardy; The Family; U.S. Marshals; The Hunted; Blown Away; Man of the House; Rules of Engagement; Just Getting Started; Savage Islands; BMT: Batman Forever; Mechanic: Resurrection; Fire Birds; Notes: Won and Oscar for The Fugitive and was nominated for three more. One of his first roles was 21 episodes of One Life to Live in the 1975.)

Sean Young – (Known For: Dune; Blade Runner 2049; Blade Runner; Bone Tomahawk; Ace Ventura: Pet Detective; Wall Street; Stripes; No Way Out; Cousins; Attack of the 50 Foot Cheerleader; Escape Room; Mockingbird Don’t Sing; Even Cowgirls Get the Blues; The Pit; A Random Encounter; Dr. Jekyll and Ms. Hyde; Poor White Trash; Darling; The Boost; Parasomnia; Future BMT: Sugar & Spice; Once Upon a Crime…; Baby: Secret of the Lost Legend; A Kiss Before Dying; Young Doctors in Love; Love Crimes; BMT: Fatal Instinct; Fire Birds; Razzie Notes: Winner for Worst Actress, and Worst Supporting Actress for A Kiss Before Dying in 1992; Nominee for Worst Actress, and Worst Screen Couple for Dr. Jekyll and Ms. Hyde in 1996; Nominee for Worst Actress for Love Crimes in 1993; and Nominee for Worst Supporting Actress in 1993 for Once Upon a Crime…; and in 1995 for Even Cowgirls Get the Blues; Notes: I kind of wish they had tossed a cameo into the new Dune for her. Instead she is making a film called Planet Dune in which is basically just a horror version of Dune? You can’t make this stuff up.)

Budget/Gross – $22 million / Domestic: $14,760,451 (Worldwide: $14,760,451)

(Ooooooof that is brutal. They thought they were getting Top Gun 2?! They were getting like … a straight-to-video Seagal war film.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 10% (2/21): Despite the talent on board, Fire Birds is little more than a subpar military adventure sporting video game-like action, outdated philosophy, and uneven acting.

(Yup, yup, and yup. Much like Tackleberry’s “I can’t believe they won’t let me murder innocent people anymore” speech from Police Academy: Mission to Moscow, the gung-ho jingoism of the military films of yesteryear was never going to play well in the 90s.)

Reviewer Highlight: The action here is more like something you’d expect to pop a quarter in a machine for. – Owen Gleiberman, Entertainment Weekly

Poster – Rage Cage and Tommy Lee Bones

(That poster cannot be denied. Man, that’s fire (birds). Nice orange color, dope helicopters, fading those face sooooo sweet. Hooo weeee. If only they really leaned into some font work. Then we’d really have something. B.)

Tagline(s) – The best just got better. (A+ x 10)

(Ha. Yeah, I mean. Yes. I like that because it sounds like words but in fact is meaningless. You heard about the best? Yeah… well, guess what? They just got better. It gets funnier the more I think about it.)

Keyword(s) – helicopter-pilot

Top 10: The Wolf of Wall Street (2013), Army of the Dead (2021), Fifty Shades of Grey (2015), Fast & Furious 7 (2015), Mission: Impossible – Fallout (2018), Jurassic World (2015), Kong: Skull Island (2017), Extraction (2020), Spectre (2015), American Sniper (2014)

Future BMT: 44.3 Home Fries (1998), 35.9 Air America (1990), 29.2 Memoirs of an Invisible Man (1992), 27.6 Resident Evil: Apocalypse (2004), 27.3 The Thing (2011), 26.7 American Assassin (2017), 19.4 Terminator Salvation (2009), 18.4 Crazy People (1990), 14.8 Angels & Demons (2009)

BMT: Fifty Shades of Grey (2015), The Predator (2018), Fifty Shades Darker (2017), CHIPS (2017), Mechanic: Resurrection (2016), Johnny Mnemonic (1995), The Darkest Minds (2018), Cradle 2 the Grave (2003), Fire Birds (1990)

Matches: Fire Birds (1990), Dance of the Dwarfs (1983), Avalanche (1999)

(Cooool plot. The little lines tell you how many films (and how big they were) basically. Not sure why helicopters were a huge thing in the 10s, I guess it is most likely that just big films got keywords around then. I am very excited to continue the helicopter 1990s train rolling with Air America some day.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 8) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Nicolas Cage is No. 1 billed in Fire Birds and No. 1 billed in The Wicker Man, which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 5 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (1 + 1) + (5 + 1) = 8. There is no shorter path at the moment.

Notes – K. Monty Jordan, one of the stunt team, was a real U.S. Army helicopter pilot in Vietnam, and retired as a Colonel after Operation: Desert Storm.

The enemy jet fighter is portrayed by a Swedish SAAB J 35F ‘Draken’ (Dragon).

Some of the exterior shots of “Fort Mitchell” were filmed at Pima Community College in Tucson, Arizona, and the inn, where Billie and Preston go, is actually The Tack Room, also in Tucson which was, at the time, a 5-star restaurant.

The “Scorpion” attack helicopters are actually Hughes MD-500D Defenders.

The bar scene was filmed at VIP Showclub located at 5120 E Speedway in Tucson, which was a topless bar at the time. The club was made to look like a regular nightclub with a live band, as seen in the movie. Filming took place over three days. Location is currently Ten’s Showclub.

The music that plays during the first half of the film’s original theatrical trailer is 80s classic “Nowhere Fast” composed for and made famous by the movie Streets of Fire (1984).

Some of the scenes were built on a set inside the Tucson Convention Center.

The flight simulator motion base is actually a AH1 flight weapons simulator (cobra helicopter) located at the Western Army Aviation Training Site in Arizona.

The original title of the film was “Night of the Apache”

The Catamarca Desert is specifically located in Argentina.

Infamously known among critics as Top Gun (1986) with helicopters.

Wild Orchid Preview

“Lindsey Appleton, hardscrabble investigative reporter from the Brooklyn Gazette Tribune,” Lindsey says, flashing her RTHQ badge. The officers at the gate peer at the badge, which denotes her status as a “full-blown journalist” and nod their heads, but just as Jamie, Patrick and Kyle walk through the gate the K-9 units start to bark wildly. Suddenly suspicious, the officers ask Lindsay who the bozos are tagging along. “These are my cameramen and audio technicians, Jerry, Lee and Lewis… and their baby” The officers narrow their eyes at the three men and a baby but eventually relent. The plan has worked! “Oh and Ms. Appleton,” the head officer notes, “We’ve had reports of some highly dangerous hang gliding terrorists attempting to infiltrate The Rock (as we call it). We are advised to shoot on sight. Would hate for your pals to get caught in the crossfire.” Lindsey coolly nods her head and ushers them inside, but Jamie and Patrick look at each other in shock. Someone tipped them off! The cyborgs are closer than they imagined. “We should split up,” Patrick says, “it’ll give us the best shot of finding the, and excuse the technical term, hack jack port that Niall needs to hack into the system.” Seeing that the adrenaline of the heist seems to have put a wild spark into Jamie and Lindsey’s eyes, Patrick suggests maybe Kyle and Lindsey pair up. There is no time for thrills, erotic or otherwise. But Jamie and Lindsey are already off and running. Patrick sighs and communicates with Rachel via earpiece to find the quickest way to the hack jack port… it’s now up to him and Kyle. Jamie and Lindsey are lost to an adventure of the senses. That’s right! We are indeed watching the ultimate adventure of the senses: Wild Orchid. A real classic erotic thriller film and it should go without saying that it’s been on our radar for a very, very, very long time (if you know what I mean). Gross. Anyway, it should be fun in a probably unpleasant way. Let’s go!

Wild Orchid (1989) – BMeTric: 59.8; Notability: 18

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 1.6%; Notability: top 71.7%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 0.7% Higher BMeT: Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan, A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Dream Child; Higher Notability: Troop Beverly Hills, Star Trek V: The Final Frontier, A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Dream Child, Fletch Lives, See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Harlem Nights, Leviathan, Pink Cadillac, Lock Up, Three Fugitives, Dead Bang, Renegades, Let It Ride, Millennium, Slaves of New York, The Karate Kid Part III, Who’s Harry Crumb?, Cookie, Gross Anatomy, Her Alibi, and 26 more; Lower RT: Wired; Notes: Back to back 1989 films huh? That’s interesting. Sub-5.0 is amazing as usual. Hmmm maybe we should watch Wired at some point … seems depressing though.

Leonard Maltin – BOMB – Prim lawyer Otis, employed by banker Bisset, gets assaulted by Rio de Janeiro carny-time temptation: semi-public fornicators, limousine raunch, and the right of earringed Rourke in deep bronze makeup. Notorious simulated sex scene caused a stir, but it’s all for naught; this picture is enough to make any two bananas roll over in Carmen Miranda’s grave. Followed by a sequel.

(Semicolon? You know what I like to see Leonard. I kind of get the Carmen Miranda reference I guess … I think I do at least. It is kind of super weird if I’m being honest. Basically every review mentions the rumors about the final sex scene which notoriously some thought (incorrectly) was unsimulated.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=StwWLUzLbg8/

(“A man … struggling to unleash his emotions.” Ha! That’s an understatement. Having watched the film I have to say I wasn’t expecting them to so openingly state the plot as “A woman discovering her desires … a sociopath who can’t feel.”)

Directors – Zalman King – (Known For: Two Moon Junction; Wild Orchid II: Two Shades of Blue; Delta of Venus; Pleasure or Pain; In God’s Hands; Wildfire; BMT: Wild Orchid; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Screenplay for Nine 1/2 Weeks in 1987; Notes: Notoriously was an erotic films producer / director in the 90s and 00s, including the television program Body Language which he produced.)

Writers – Patricia Louisianna Knop (written by) – (Known For: 9½ Weeks; Delta of Venus; Siesta; Lady Oscar; The Passover Plot; Silence of the North; BMT: Wild Orchid; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Screenplay for Nine 1/2 Weeks in 1987; Notes: She was the wife an collaborated for Zalman King. She was a producer on Red Shoe Diaries.)

Zalman King (written by) – (Known For: 9½ Weeks; Two Moon Junction; Wild Orchid II: Two Shades of Blue; Pleasure or Pain; Return to Two Moon Junction; In God’s Hands; Roadie; Wildfire; BMT: Wild Orchid; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Screenplay for Nine 1/2 Weeks in 1987; Notes: He was an actor in the 60s and 70s including starring in the television show The Young Lawyers.)

Actors – Mickey Rourke – (Known For: Iron Man 2; Body Heat; Sin City; The Expendables; Immortals; The Rainmaker; The Wrestler; Sin City: A Dame to Kill For; Once Upon a Time in Mexico; 9½ Weeks; Angel Heart; Buffalo ’66; Rumble Fish; Heaven’s Gate; 1941; Girl; The Pledge; Spun; Diner; Year of the Dragon; Future BMT: Domino; Desperate Hours; Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man; Man on Fire; BMT: Double Team; Wild Orchid; Get Carter; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Actor in 1991 for Desperate Hours, and Wild Orchid; Notes: Notable went back to professional boxing in 1991 well into his career as an A-list actor where he sustained severe facial injuries. He’s gotten extensive plastic surgery in an attempt to correct the issues.)

Jacqueline Bisset – (Known For: Bullitt; Murder on the Orient Express; Casino Royale; The Deep; L’amant double; Airport; Day for Night; 9/11; Blue Night; Dangerous Beauty; Miss You Already; Latter Days; The Life and Times of Judge Roy Bean; Two for the Road; Death in Love; Backstabbing for Beginners; The Detective; The Man from Acapulco; Cul-de-sac; Under the Volcano; Future BMT: Domino; When Time Ran Out…; Class; Inchon; BMT: Wild Orchid; Notes: Nominated for an Emmy for Joan of Arc. Is Angelina Jolie’s godmother, as she was asked while working with Jon Voight on End of the Game.)

Carré Otis – (Known For: Exit in Red; Going Back; BMT: Wild Orchid; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst New Star for Wild Orchid in 1991; Notes: Famously married Rourke in 1992, a romance that has fueled (unfounded) rumors that the final sex scene was unsimulated.)

Budget/Gross – $7 million / Domestic: $11,060,485 (Worldwide: $11,060,485)

(Not super great obviously, but not a complete bomb maybe. The budget is so low though, must basically be all salary for the actors at that point.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 7% (2/29): Body Orchid is a tease-too-long, with overblown editing with an already slipping Mickey Rourke and unexperienced actress Carrie Otis.

(I had to look it up, and no, nowhere was the film called Body Orchid … is it just a weird play on words or something? Maybe they are mashing the title with Body Heat? Reviewer Highlight: What I couldn’t believe was the chemistry between Rourke and Otis, whose passion is supposed to shake the earth but seemed more like an obligation imposed on them by their genitals. – Roger Ebert, Chicago Sun-Times)

Poster – Wild Sorkin

(Wild Sorkin is the high school comedy about Aaron Sorkin’s wild youth. This poster is… not that. It makes me feel sweaty and dirty, so mission accomplished I assume. I do like the font and the color scheme fits what I would call “nude,” which is probably the point. Anyway, it could be better. C+)

Tagline(s) – An adventure of the senses. (C-)

(Grosssss. No thanks. Those words on that poster is just… just the worst. Leave my senses out of this garbo. It’s certainly telling you exactly what you can expect in just a few words, but it’s not something I want.)

Keyword – erotica

Top 10: American Beauty (1999), Call Me by Your Name (2017), Fifty Shades of Grey (2015), Sin City (2005), Brokeback Mountain (2005), Don Jon (2013), Coyote Ugly (2000), Fifty Shades Freed (2018), Body Double (1984), Showgirls (1995)

Future BMT: 71.2 Showgirls (1995), 60.5 Obsessed (2009), 54.1 Bolero (1984), 49.4 In the Cut (2003), 46.2 40 Days and 40 Nights (2002), 43.7 Coyote Ugly (2000), 41.3 Addicted (2014), 41.0 Jawbreaker (1999), 37.8 Never Talk to Strangers (1995), 33.0 Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates (2016);

BMT: Fifty Shades of Grey (2015), Fifty Shades Freed (2018), The Boy Next Door (2015), Basic Instinct 2 (2006), Striptease (1996), Cool World (1992), Good Luck Chuck (2007), Color of Night (1994), Wild Orchid (1989), Fifty Shades of Black (2016), The Specialist (1994), I Know Who Killed Me (2007), Miss March (2009)

(I had to try this one out. We have a few left, and a bunch of those are, in reality, not erotica. But Bolero and Showgirls definitely are. I’m pretty surprised that the notability plot is as stable as it is. I would have thought it would have dropped off a cliff after 2000, but that didn’t really happen until 2010.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 11) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Bruce Greenwood is No. 5 billed in Wild Orchid and No. 6 billed in Here on Earth => 5 + 6 = 11. There is no shorter path at the moment.

Notes – Mickey Rourke and Carré Otis were a couple at the time this film was made, and there is a persistent rumor that the sex scenes were not faked.

In a 2004 interview, Carré Otis denied the rumors that suggested the infamous last sex scene was real.

Brooke Shields turned down the role of Emily because she knew that nudity would be required.

Willem Dafoe turned down the role of James Wheeler.

The hotel construction site was actually the skeleton of an abandoned hotel in Salvador, Bahia that was never completed. It was imploded a few years later, after decades of abandonment.

Anne Archer was signed to play the Jacqueline Bisset part, but she had a disagreement with the producers over the scripts R rated content.

Awards – Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Actor (Mickey Rourke, 1991)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst New Star (Carré Otis, 1991)

Son of the Mask Preview

After walking Kyle through the math it seems pretty straightforward: the sham R&P film is only one review away from not qualifying for BMT. “And so all we need is to somehow insert sexy mannequins into the film and it’ll be within your scope to review?” But Kyle shakes his head and explains that the film already has mannequins. “And they’re really quite striking,” he adds, sending a shiver up Jamie’s spine. The site has even already written a review. “So how was the movie?” asks Jamie. Kyle shakes his head and wrinkles his nose. Patrick throws up his hands. “So if you already wrote a bad review then how does that help us?” but Kyle shakes his head again and reiterates, “the mannequins… they were very striking.” Patrick feels bile in the back of his throat. They summarize: Kyle has a website (check), it reviewed the film (check), and they gave it a good review (check). “Cause of the extremely striking mannequins,” confirms Kyle. “The only problem,” he continues, “is that we don’t meet the eligibility requirements. Jamie and Patrick nod in understanding. It is pretty strict and obviously SMT isn’t getting 4 million hits a year, but Kyle is taken aback. “Of course we have 4 million hits a year… we have 4 million subscribers,” he says as Jamie’s mouth falls open in shock. “It’s mostly because one of our three reviewers isn’t qualified as an individual critic. Me and my brother Lyle are, but our other brother Miles isn’t because he’s only written for the site for a year.” So all they had to do was hack the planet and juke Miles’ stats? Kyle nods, “and I actually know an elite hacker. My son Niall, but… he’s a bit of a wild card.” That’s right! We are watching the sequel to the comedy classic The Mask that literally no one was asking for. A decade after the first film they jettisoned everything that people loved from the first one in order to make a film with a CGI dog/baby instead of Jim Carrey. Seems like a plan. Let’s go!

Son of the Mask (2005) – BMeTric: 92.8; Notability: 74

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 0.0%; Notability: top 8.8%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 3.1% Higher Notability: The Island, Fantastic Four, Kingdom of Heaven, Domino, Bewitched, Be Cool, Chicken Little, Memoirs of a Geisha, xXx²: The Next Level, The Longest Yard; Lower RT: Alone in the Dark, BloodRayne, The Fog, Chaos, Supercross, Hate Crime, Yours, Mine & Ours; Notes: It is famous for a reason! One of the highest BMeTrics ever due to having 50K votes with a sub-3.0 (!) IMDb rating. Truly an astonishing feat, the lowest BMeTric of 2005.

Leonard Maltin – BOMB – Kennedy isn’t ready to be a father but conceives a baby anyway, wearing a supernatural mask. It, in turn, is coveted by a Norse god’s son (Cumming, in another of his leftover Paul Reubens roles). The god himself is played by Hoskins, in layers of makeup, and by this time the creaks are louder than anything in The Son of the Sheik. So-called sequel to The Mask (1994) is raucous without mercy, and burdened by a charmless cast; it has to plunder Chuck Jones’ cartoon One Froggy Evening to glean even a few good moments.

(Overly long review IMO (saved only by a late snippet semicolon). The review manages to completely undersell just how ridiculous this movie is and how famous it is as a legendary bad movie. I think this is Baby Geniuses level bad, and yet Leonard talks about it like it is a little kooky and unoriginal. No respect.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FKwtGHbpVDU/

(Oh man, they’re really showcasing the dancing baby and cartoon dog huh? Kind of amazing what they’ve done to The Mask. An abomination of a sequel for no good reason.)

Directors – Lawrence Guterman – (Known For: Cats & Dogs; BMT: Son of the Mask; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Director for Son of the Mask in 2006; Notes: Was a CGI wizard hired out of film school by Spielberg to help direct Dreamworks projects. Went to Harvard and MIT as well at times.)

Writers – Lance Khazei (written by) – (BMT: Son of the Mask; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Screenplay for Son of the Mask in 2006; Notes: Also went to Harvard which makes me think he might have known Guterman in some capacity prior to the film. Was a writer on the Chevy Chase show, and was nominated for a Daytime Emmy for the Great Minds Think For Themselves shorts.)

Actors – Jamie Kennedy – (Known For: Romeo + Juliet; Scream, Dead Poets Society; Enemy of the State; As Good as It Gets; Harold & Kumar Get the Munchies; Scream 2; Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back; Three Kings; Scream 3; Boiler Room; The Hungover Games; Bowfinger; Extreme Movie; Spinning Man; Roe v. Wade; Last Call; The Sand; Trick; Clockwatchers; Dr. Dolittle 2; Future BMT: Malibu’s Most Wanted; Kickin’ It Old Skool; Max Keeble’s Big Move; Good Deeds; Bait; Skin Deep; BMT: Son of the Mask; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Actor, and Worst Screen Couple for Son of the Mask in 2006; Notes: Allegedly helped his acting career by pretending to be his own agent. Dated Jennifer Love Hewitt in the late 2000s.)

Traylor Howard – (Known For: Me, Myself & Irene; Confessions of a Sexist Pig; Future BMT: Dirty Work; BMT: Son of the Mask; Notes: Probably most well known for her role as the assistant to Monk on the Emmy winning show Monk. I think she was the second assistant after Bitty Schram left the show.)

Alan Cumming – (Known For: Eyes Wide Shut; GoldenEye; X-Men 2; Spy Kids; Josie and the Pussycats; It’s Complicated; Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion; Battle of the Sexes; Spy Kids 3: Game Over; Emma; Titus; Spy Kids 2: Island of Lost Dreams; Nicholas Nickleby; Sweet Land; Black Beauty; Circle of Friends; The Anniversary Party; Dare; The Tempest; Hurricane Bianca; Future BMT: The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas; The Smurfs 2; The Smurfs; Strange Magic; Buddy; BMT: Son of the Mask; Spice World; Garfield; Get Carter; Show Dogs; Burlesque; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Supporting Actor for Son of the Mask in 2006; Notes: Was nominated for four Emmys, once for organizing the Tonys, and three other times as a guest star on The Good Wife. He won a Tony Awards as a lead in Cabaret in 1998.)

Budget/Gross – $84,000,000 / Domestic: $17,018,422 (Worldwide: $59,981,548)

(Brutal, although somehow I doubt they actually spent 84 million dollars on the film. That has to be some fudging. I still assume it was a pretty major loss considering the amount of CGI involved.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 6% (6/105): Overly frantic, painfully unfunny, and sorely missing the presence of Jim Carrey.

(Well yeah. There should never have been a sequel without Carrey. Reviewer Highlight: No doubt extensive market research shows that there’s an audience out there for movies like Son Of The Mask, but it’s too depressing to speculate who that might be. – Scott Tobias, Variety)

Poster – Sklogtown USA 2: Maskalicious

(Sometimes I just don’t have a pun for the poster. Deal with it. The whole thing makes me a little sad though. Not like Ace Ventura Jr. sad, but still pretty sad. Lots of things going on, nothing that I want to see. Good font, too much going on to understand. Could be worse, but couldn’t be sadder. C-)

Tagline(s) – The next generation of mischief (C+)

(This is fine. It gets the point across in a not totally terrible way, but not in a way that is interesting. The more concerning tagline on the poster is “From the director of Cats & Dogs.” That’s an F.)

Keyword – transformation

Top 10: Mortal Kombat (2021), Avengers: Endgame (2019), Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone (2001), The Conjuring 2 (2016), Wonder Woman 1984 (1984), Thor: Ragnarok (2017), The New Mutants (2020), Avengers: Infinity War (2018), Doctor Sleep (2019), The Matrix (1999)

Future BMT: 89.4 Vampires Suck (2010), 88.2 Street Fighter (1994), 69.5 Teen Wolf Too (1987), 69.1 The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause (2006), 68.8 The Shaggy Dog (2006), 68.7 Supergirl (1984), 65.0 Max Steel (2016), 63.0 Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie (1997), 61.0 Cursed (2005), 60.7 Skinwalkers (2006);

BMT: Masters of the Universe (1987), X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009), Fantastic Four (2015), Hellboy (2019), Vampire Academy (2014), Gods of Egypt (2016), Batman & Robin (1997), Event Horizon (1997), Transformers: The Last Knight (2017), X-Men: Dark Phoenix (2019), The Mummy (2017), Warcraft: The Beginning (2016), Transformers: Age of Extinction (2014), Super Mario Bros. (1993), R.I.P.D. (2013), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014), Lost in Space (1998), I Am Number Four (2011), Queen of the Damned (2002), Conan the Destroyer (1984), Pixels (2015), Little Nicky (2000), Seventh Son (2014), Mortal Kombat: Annihilation (1997), Slender Man (2018), Dragonball Evolution (2009), The Island of Dr. Moreau (1996), Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance (2011), Jason X (2001), Silent Hill: Revelation (2012), Dreamcatcher (2003), Dracula 2001 (2000), Beastly (2011), Son of the Mask (2005), The Lawnmower Man (1992), A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Dream Child (1989), I, Frankenstein (2014), The Golden Child (1986), Troll (1986), The Seeker: The Dark Is Rising (2007), Species II (1998), Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989), Vampire in Brooklyn (1995)

(Man, a lot of films do transformations. Only thing this really tells me is the Notability is below average for the film. I’m excited to watch Teen Wolf Too though.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 20) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Alan Cumming is No. 2 billed in Son of the Mask and No. 8 billed in Get Carter (2000), which also stars Sylvester Stallone (No. 1 billed) who is in Expendables 3 (No. 1 billed), which also stars Jason Statham (No. 2 billed) who is in In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Seige Tale (No. 1 billed), which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 4 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => 2 + 8 + 1 + 1 + 2 + 1 + 4 + 1 = 20. If we were to watch Buddy, and Two for the Money we can get the HoE Number down to 15.

Notes – Plans for a sequel, “The Mask II,’ were in the works years before this film. Nintendo Power magazine held a contest, and first prize was a walk-on role in that movie. The project was canceled, and Nintendo Power issued a public apology to the contest winner in their final issue. Years later, the winner was revealed as Nathan Ryan Runk, from Arbutus, Maryland. The film was technically on hold, so Runk could have chosen the role or money and merchandise. Runk, who was 12 at the time, chose the money, and received $5,000, a film crew jacket (which he later lost), and several Super Nintendo video games, including “Pilotwings 64” on Nintendo 64. He later claimed it was “absolutely the right call.” (Yeah it was, although it would have been a better call to keep the jacket in mint condition and sell it to me for another $5,000)

Film critic Richard Roeper admitted that in the five years he co-hosted with Roger Ebert, this film was the closest he’d come to walking out halfway. Looking back, he wishes he’d walked out.

Initially was supposed to be a follow-up to the original, with Jim Carrey returning as Stanley Ipkiss, but Carrey decided after making Ace Ventura 2 that playing the same character twice wasn’t interesting to him at the time, so the sequel was shelved, and this stand-alone film was developed instead due to Carrey’s indifference to the project. Subsequently, Carrey became more open to sequels, costarring in “Dumb and Dumber To” and stating in 2020 that he wanted to do sequels to both The Mask and Sonic the Hedgehog.

When asked why he agreed to do the film, Jamie Kennedy responded, “I’ll give you 2.5 million reasons.”

Jack Black turned down the role of Tim Avery. (Would have been an infinitely better movie, although still terrible)

Ben Stein is the only actor in this sequel who was also in The Mask (1994).

This is one of four times that a movie starring Jim Carrey had a sequel in which Carrey was not involved. The other sequels are: Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd (2003), Evan Almighty (2007) and Ace Ventura: Pet Detective Jr. (2009). (I cut it down, but the note did say Batman Forever didn’t count)

Two dogs played Otis. They were each taught different tricks. Their fur was dyed in patches so they matched on screen.

The character name Tim Avery is a reference to the cartoonist Tex Avery.

Inconsistent with The Mask. In the first movie the mask only works at night but in this one it seems to work anytime even during the day. (There are a bunch of incongruities, in the first it also suggests Loki was trapped in the mask, so him being a character is weird)

Marlyn Waynes, Matthew Lillard, and Ryan Reynolds were all considered for the role of “Tim Avery.”

Awards – Winner for the Razzie Award for Worst Remake or Sequel (2006)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Picture (2006)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Actor (Jamie Kennedy, 2006)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Supporting Actor (Alan Cumming, 2006)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Supporting Actor (Bob Hoskins, 2006)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Screen Couple (Jamie Kennedy, 2006)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Director (Lawrence Guterman, 2006)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Screenplay (Lance Khazei, 2006)

The Rage: Carrie 2 Preview

“Cut, cut, cut,” Patrick cries through his megaphone and throws the scripts for Rich & Poe: Legends Never Die: The Directors’ Cut on the ground. He begs their main man Chris Klein to just do the lines as written, but on his way back to the director’s chair he winks at Jamie. They both know that LudaChris operates best when balancing a Nespresso high and a simmering anger at any constraints put on his classic CK magic. After a take that can only be described as sublime witchcraft in the form of acting, Jamie and Patrick high five. With light quickly fading and tight timetable they are annoyed to hear their names ring out over the studio soundsystem. Studio hacks always getting in the way. Entering Adam Banks’ office they ask gruftly what the big problem is, but Banks doesn’t look all that angry for once. He just looks confused. “I um… I just got a phone call about the upcoming Rich & Poe prequel,” he says slowly while Patrick and Jamie tap their feet impatiently, “and they’re telling me to stop the sequel.” Patrick and Jamie scoff and turn to leave, but Banks continues. “They said there can only be one, they said you’d know what that meant.” Patrick and Jamie turn back to Banks and tentatively ask who this unspecified “they” is? “Well it’s, uh… you. Like you guys called me earlier and told me that, so you can see how I was confused to find you on the lot filming today.” Patrick takes a deep breath. The cyborgs are messing with their plans again and you can only deal with that type of thing rationally and calmly. But too late! Jamie has already ripped off his shirt and begins to tear the room apart in searing red hot rage. That’s right! We are watching the often forgotten sequel to Carrie, The Rage: Carrie 2. Not exactly surprising that it’s forgotten given it had one of the longest gaps between original and sequel in film history. Wonder if things will turn out better for ol’ Carrie this time (hint: probably not). Let’s go!

The Rage: Carrie 2 (1999) – BMeTric: 61.6; Notability: 43

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 3.6%; Notability: top 29.5%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 17.4% Higher BMeT: Baby Geniuses, Inspector Gadget, Universal Soldier: The Return, Wild Wild West, Wing Commander, The Haunting, Dudley Do-Right, Bats; Higher Notability: Wild Wild West, The 13th Warrior, Idle Hands, End of Days, Joan of Arc, My Favorite Martian, The Out-of-Towners, Random Hearts, Crazy in Alabama, Double Jeopardy, Instinct, Stigmata, The Bone Collector, Teaching Mrs. Tingle, The General’s Daughter, Black and White, Mystery, Alaska, 8MM, Blue Streak, Brokedown Palace; Lower RT: Baby Geniuses, The Mod Squad, Universal Soldier: The Return, The Omega Code, The Bachelor, Eye of the Beholder, Wing Commander, Chill Factor, Body Shots, End of Days, My Favorite Martian, Virus, The King and I, Jawbreaker, Lost & Found, Molly, Gloria, Idle Hands, Random Hearts, The Astronaut’s Wife and 15 more; Notes: Oh boy, floating around the 4.0s is really impressive. As is that Notability, although kind of crazy that maybe 25% of films from 1999 must have a notability above 50. That is something to look at. Only Inspector Gadget left on that BMeTric list, this is #9 too, so we would be pretty close to having watched the top 10 BMeTrics of the year!

RogerEbert.com – 2.0 stars – The original “Carrie” worked because it was a skillful teenage drama grafted onto a horror ending. Also, of course, because De Palma and his star, Sissy Spacek, made the story convincing. “The Rage: Carrie 2” is more like a shadow. I can imagine the story conference: “Let’s think up some reason why the heroine has exactly the same ability Carrie had, and then let’s put her in a story where exactly the same things happen to her, with the same result.” People actually get paid for thinking up things like that. Too much, if you ask me.

(Slammed. Kind of amazing that that is the ending to a 2.0 star film. If he thinks the film is totally useless … why does it get 2.0 stars? Seems like a weird baseline.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mzF7iEUhVbo/

(Looks like a television movie. I suppose one good thing is that it looks better than something like Blair Witch 2 which came out around the same time. Maybe it will at least be competently directed and stuff.)

Directors – Katt Shea – (Known For: Poison Ivy; Nancy Drew and the Hidden Staircase; Stripped to Kill; Streets; Stripped to Kill 2: Live Girls; Dance of the Damned; BMT: The Rage: Carrie 2; Notes: Was an actress in things like Psycho III, although I don’t think she ever played a really significant role. She was married to Andy Ruben with whom she wrote a bunch of films in the 90s as well.)

Robert Mandel – (Known For: School Ties; F/X; The Substitute; Independence Day; Big Shots; Touch and Go; BMT: The Rage: Carrie 2; Notes: Left the film two weeks into filming over creative differences. This was his last feature, he mostly did television after and also ran the AFI Conservatory.)

Writers – Stephen King (characters) – (Known For: The Shawshank Redemption; The Green Mile; It; The Shining; Stand by Me; Doctor Sleep; It: Chapter Two; Gerald’s Game; Carrie; Misery; The Running Man; The Mist; Pet Sematary; Christine; 1922; Pet Sematary; Carrie; In the Tall Grass; The Dead Zone; Creepshow; Future BMT: The Mangler; Children of the Corn II: The Final Sacrifice; Sleepwalkers; The Dark Tower; Children of the Corn; Thinner; Firestarter; Creepshow 2; Needful Things; BMT: The Rage: Carrie 2; Dreamcatcher; Graveyard Shift; The Lawnmower Man; Maximum Overdrive; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Director for Maximum Overdrive in 1987; Notes: You know Stephen King. Apparently they are making a new Children of the Corn film. So I guess that’s fun.)

Rafael Moreu (written by) – (BMT: The Rage: Carrie 2; Hackers; Notes: Was a story editor on The Lone Gunman, the X-Files spin-off series from 2001.)

Actors – Emily Bergl – (Known For: Blue Jasmine; Fur: An Imaginary Portrait of Diane Arbus; Happy Campers; Chasing Sleep; The Hard Easy; Grassroots; BMT: The Rage: Carrie 2; Notes: British. She mostly does television work these days including a part of Mindhunters, a show which was great, but sadly cancelled after the second season.)

Jason London – (Known For: Dazed and Confused; The Man in the Moon; Trafficked; My Teacher’s Wife; Acceleration; Killer Movie; Poor White Trash; The Lamp; The Devil’s Tomb; Fall Time; All Roads Lead Home; Snow Beast; Safe Passage; Nightworld; 51; My First Miracle; Storm War; A Midsummer Night’s Rave; Smitty; Showdown at Area 51; Future BMT: To Wong Foo Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar; BMT: The Rage: Carrie 2; Grind; Out Cold; Notes: Has a twin brother Jeremy whom we’ve seen in his only qualifying BMT film, Gods and Generals.)

Dylan Bruno – (Known For: Saving Private Ryan; Grand Theft Parsons; Going Greek; Quid Pro Quo; The Anarchist Cookbook; The Simian Line; Future BMT: The One; Taken 3; Where the Heart Is; BMT: The Rage: Carrie 2; Notes: We went to MIT and has a degree in Civil Engineering. He was in 93 episodes of Numb3rs, and his brother, Chris, is also an actor.)

Budget/Gross – $21,000,000 / Domestic: $17,762,705 (Worldwide: $17,762,705)

(Yeah not great. Here the budget makes sense. A lot of technical challenges, and also I have to imagine the rights aren’t cheap. Disastrous return though.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 22% (8/37): As disposable as its predecessor is indispensable, The Rage: Carrie 2 mimics the arc of Stephen King’s classic story without adding anything of value.

(Apparently accidentally too. They realized it after writing the script and so just made it a sequel or something? Sounds crazy, but maybe no crazier than a sequel to Carrie. Reviewer Highlight: The Rage contents itself with trashing a rich kid’s house. By that point, anyway, the film has surrendered to genre. – Ty Burr, Entertainment Weekly)

Poster – A Very Carrie Christmas

(Nothing better than some unnecessarily unique font. Why? Because all interesting font is necessary. I like aspects of the poster even if as a whole it isn’t interesting and doesn’t really do its job. Why would this interest anyone in actually seeing the film? But still C+ for font and color.)

Tagline(s) – Looks can kill (A)

(I mean, it’s short and sweet. A play on a common phrase and does hint at the idea of the film given that she can actually kill with a look. I’m not going perfect because it’s still just a common phrase and it’s more of a double meaning than a fun pun, you know? But it is a very very well applied tagline.)

Keyword – high school

Top 10: Avengers: Endgame (2019), Unhinged (2020), Back to the Future (1985), Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle (2017), Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (2010), Almost Famous (2000), Hereditary (2018), Twilight (2008), Spider-Man: Far from Home (2019), Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)

Future BMT: 89.4 Vampires Suck (2010), 87.3 Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd (2003), 82.8 Prom Night (2008), 78.6 Superhero Movie (2008), 75.9 Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel (2009), 75.4 Grease 2 (1982), 72.6 The Next Karate Kid (1994), 70.5 Zoom (2006), 69.8 Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen (2004), 61.9 Poltergeist III (1988);

BMT: The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift (2006), Grown Ups (2010), Fantastic Four (2015), The Boy Next Door (2015), The Covenant (2006), X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009), The 5th Wave (2016), Jumper (2008), Project X (2012), Movie 43 (2013), Masters of the Universe (1987), Cheaper by the Dozen (2003), The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009), A Walk to Remember (2002), I Am Number Four (2011), Hackers (1995), Dragonball Evolution (2009), Midnight Sun (2018), The Pacifier (2005), Truth or Dare (2018), Red Dawn (2012), Crossroads (2002), Vampire Academy (2014), The Emoji Movie (2017), Cheaper by the Dozen 2 (2005), Dangerous Minds (1995), Into the Storm (2014), Slender Man (2018), Superman III (1983), Ride Along (2014), I Love You, Beth Cooper (2009), Epic Movie (2007), Ghosts of Girlfriends Past (2009), Silent Hill: Revelation (2012), Abduction (2011), Swimfan (2002), Ouija (2014), Bratz (2007), Beastly (2011), Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare (1991), New York Minute (2004), The Rage: Carrie 2 (1999), I Know Who Killed Me (2007)

(Again, I think the dip at the end might be right. I imagine a lot of cheesy teen films that were definitely set in high school are now direct-to-streaming. Like The Kissing Booth for example. Man the Dumb and Dumber sequels. Could have done both of those in this sequel cycle.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 26) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Jason London is No. 2 billed in The Rage: Carrie 2 and No. 1 billed in Out Cold, which also stars Zach Galifianakis (No. 3 billed) who is in Keeping Up with the Joneses (No. 1 billed), which also stars Isla Fisher (No. 2 billed) who is in Confessions of a Shopaholic (No. 1 billed), which also stars Kristin Scott Thomas (No. 7 billed) who is in Random Hearts (No. 2 billed), which also stars Harrison Ford (No. 1 billed) who is in Hollywood Homicide (No. 1 billed), which also stars Josh Hartnett (No. 2 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 3 billed) => 2 + 1 + 3 + 1 + 2 + 1 + 7 + 2 + 1 + 1 + 2 + 3 = 26. If we were to watch The One we can get the HoE Number down to 19.

Notes – Sissy Spacek was offered a cameo in this sequel to Carrie (1976) which she turned down. However, she did give Katt Shea permission to use some of her scenes from Carrie (1976) for flashbacks.

During filming of the climatic party/bloodbath sequence, it took three attempts to shoot Rachel using her telekinetic powers to shatter the glass doors. On the first take, Emily Bergl flinched, and on the second take, she showed her clenched teeth. On the third take, they were able to finish the scene as they wanted it with her showing no facial reaction. Real glass, shattered by the blowers, was used for this scene, and Emily received multiple cuts on her skin (back, arms, legs, and backside) after the shooting of each take. She is deliberately not shown afterward from the back to hide her injuries. (That’s horrible)

The film began as an original story, before producers realised how similar it was to Carrie (1976) and so they made it a sequel. (Whaaaaaaaaaa)

Loosely based on a real-life 1993 incident in which a group of high school jocks, the Spur Posse, were involved in a sex scandal. (Uhhhhh, this story is horrible: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spur_Posse … I don’t quite understand how they legitimatized not charging them with statutory rape at least)

A few weeks into production, director Robert Mandel quit over creative differences and Katt Shea hurriedly took over the reins with less than a week to prepare to start filming, and two weeks’ worth of footage to reshoot. (There we go, I went to the notes to try and figure out why there were two directors involved)

Originally titled The Curse, the film was scheduled to start production in 1996 with Emily Bergl in the lead, however production stalled for two years.

The February 13, 1998 draft of the screenplay lists Howard A. Rodman as a writer.

The producers insisted that director Katt Shea use a scene from the film’s original shoot, but she was adamant that the footage wouldn’t match. The studio didn’t want to fund a reshoot, so Shea offered to play the role of the District Attorney, which had originally been portrayed by Teddi Siddall. Siddal was a friend who had done extensive voice work in Shea’s first film, Stripped to Kill (1987), so she called to profusely apologize for personally replacing her.

L.A. alt-rock band called “Ra” composed a song called “Crazy Little Voices” for the movie. It’s used as the film’s end credits theme.