Flatliners (2017) Preview

Our keen BMT instincts had us eyeing Flatliners since May for a potential Fall BMT Live! We needed something to bridge the gap between The Mummy and (hopefully) the weather disaster film Geostorm and it just didn’t seem possible that a remake of a 1990 cult classic that no one was asking for could possibly be good. Boy were we right. Taking a break from our Bring a Friend cycle we will be heading to the theater for some BMT fun. Coming into this weekend it stands as the worst reviewed major release of the year (2% on RT compared to 6% for the Rings sequel) and is everything that nobody was hoping it would be. Destined to be forgotten to the sands of time, but not to BMT, let’s get ourselves geared up for a sci fi/horror romp. We haven’t lived until we’ve died, babbbbbyyyyyyy! Let’s go!

Flatliners (2017) – BMeTric: 15.0 (October 1, 2017)

RogerEbert.com – 1.5 stars –  This sort of movie can be more frustrating than a maliciously terrible or blunderingly incompetent film because at each step you can tell that everyone involved in the production sincerely believed in the material, both as raucous entertainment and as a tale of moral growth. But when the best you can say about a movie is that it means well, that’s proof that it’s not working on any level that matters.

(Just to be clear … this is a film which got 35 bad reviews in a row and sits at 2%. It is likely to be the worst reviewed film of a year that includes The Emoji Movie. Apparently a movie that merely “means well” is a movie everyone can rally behind and give uniformly bad reviews to.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a1S52y5ZVlY

(I can’t tell if it is a good choice to go full horror or not. I do know that I don’t think this is a particularly interesting choice for a remake to Flatliners. Whether it is an IP grab or a legitimate choice to remake what is kind of a forgotten film of the 90s is yet to be scene, but it feels like an IP grab. Which probably means safe garbage-y horror.)

Directors – Niels Arden Oplev – (Known For: The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo; Drømmen; Future BMT: Dead Man Down; BMT: Flatliners; Notes: Danish, and that is naturally the original The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, not the American remake. He’s worked on several American television shows since including directing an episode of Mr. Robot.)

Writers – Peter Filardi (story by) – (Known For: Flatliners; The Craft; BMT: Flatliners; Notes: He is from a family of screenwriters including his brother and wife. Oddly hasn’t written all that much though, although he was attached to some sort of supernatural project a few years ago.)

Ben Ripley (screenplay by) – (Known For: Source Code; The Choir; BMT: Flatliners; Notes: Ha, he wrote the direct-to-video sequels to Species as his first jobs for Fox! He somewhat hit it big with Source Code (his original idea) and is attached to the sequel that is in production.)

Actors – Ellen Page – (Known For: Inception; X-Men: Days of Future Past; Juno; X-Men: The Last Stand; Mercy; Hard Candy; Into the Forest; Super; The Cured; To Rome with Love; My Life as a Courgette; Whip It; Tallulah; The East; Freeheld; Smart People; Window Horses; Mouth to Mouth; The Stone Angel; Marion Bridge; Future BMT: Touchy Feely; The Tracey Fragments; BMT: Flatliners; Notes: Vegan and well-known LGBT advocate having come out as gay a few years ago. In a relationship with professional surfer Samantha Jones.)

Diego Luna – (Known For: The Bad Batch; Rogue One; Elysium; Blood Father; Y Tu Mamá También; Open Range; The Terminal; The Book of Life; Frida; Milk; Contraband; Before Night Falls; Casa de mi Padre; Mister Lonely; Criminal; Rudo y Cursi; Nicotina; Future BMT: Vampires: Los Muertos; Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights; BMT: Flatliners; Notes: A mexican actor appearing in numerous mexican films and some telenovelas. He’s started producing with his company Canana Films.)

Nina Dobrev – (Known For: xXx: Return of Xander Cage; The Perks of Being a Wallflower; Chloe; The Final Girls; Away from Her; Fugitive Pieces; How She Move; Future BMT: Barely Lethal; Let’s Be Cops; BMT: The Roommate; Flatliners; Notes: Bulgarian, although she grew up in Canada. She starred in Vampire Diaries, and has started to make the shift to major features including Bring a Friend film xXx: The Return of Xander Cage.)

Budget/Gross – $19 million / Domestic: $2,150,000 (Worldwide: $5,250,000) (October 1, 2017)

(That budget is … respectable actually. It won’t make it back (it is a colossal bomb already), but this now seems like a kind of shot in the dark to try and get some cheap nostalgia cash instead of a poorly thought out use of sweeeeeeeet IP.)

#58 for the Horror Remake genre (October 1, 2017)

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(Can’t really remake horror films without horror films to remake I guess. The boom in the late-00s suggest this is a very nice genre for bad movies. It seemed like it was surging again, but nay, this was the first placed in the genre in nearly two years. And it is not making much money at the moment, soooooo probably won’t help matters)

Rotten Tomatoes – 2% (1/47): Flatliners falls flat as a horror movie and fails to improve upon its source material, rendering this reboot dead on arrival.

(It falls flat? Really? Anyways, this is probably the worst reviewed film of the year. At least up there, sub-5% is extremely rare. I figured this film was going to be terrible because it is a terrible idea (not the killing themselves part, the part where they remake Flatliners), but I never really imagined it would get quite this bad reviews.)

Poster – Sklogliners (A-)

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(This poster is good. Seems a bit more like an art piece than a poster, but still good. Only wish the majority of the poster wasn’t so dull colorwise.)

Tagline(s) – You Haven’t Lived Until You’ve Died (A)

(I would say this is a near perfect tagline. It is short, plays on a common phrase, and hints at the plot. Check marks all around. The only concern I have is that I’m not sure it captures the tone of the film, which seems to be a sci fi/horror. But hard to tell without having seen the film.)

Keyword(s) – medical student; Top Ten by BMeTric: 78.0 Jason X (2001); 65.4 Valentine (2001); 54.2 Annabelle (I) (2014); 44.3 Unrest (I) (2006); 35.7 The Ruins (2008); 33.7 The Prince & Me (2004); 31.3 Victor Frankenstein (2015); 30.1 Wrong Turn (I) (2003); 29.9 Pathology (2008); 28.0 The Taking (2014);

(Awesome. Victor Frankenstein is one of those films we should have just watched and then never got around to it. I don’t think it even got any Razzie nods, which is also super weird. From everything I heard it is as bad as I, Frankenstein.)

Notes – Sequel to Flatliners (1990) which starred Kiefer Sutherland, Kevin Bacon, Julia Roberts, Oliver Platt and William Baldwin.

With Kiefer Sutherland returning as Nelson, the same character he played in the 1990 version of the movie, makes this a sequel rather than a remake.

This movie is NOT a sequel to the 1990 movie. It is a remake, a re-imagining, or a version of the previous movie and has no other connection to it at all. Although Kiefer Sutherland appears in both versions, he plays two different characters. (See above … this production sounds very clear and coherent)

Ellen Page also voiced and motion captured the lead character Jodie Holmes from the 2013 video game Beyond: Two Souls (2013). The game explores the “infraworld” which is analogous to the world after death where the souls reside. Ellen Page’s character in the game also experiences supernatural activities and communicates with entities from the “other side.”

Avery Bederman, the daughter of one of the executive producers of the film, Michael Bederman, has a small role in this movie.

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Friday the 13th (2009) Preview

Huge week for BMT as we finish up our adventure through the Friday the 13th series. I’m actually getting a little emotional as I relive our journey from F13 n00bs to veterans of the series and big enough fans to be legitimately disappointed when they scrapped the planned reboot this year. The 11th movie in the series, Freddy vs. Jason, pitted two of the most famous film slashers against each other and earned enough goodwill to not qualify for BMT, so that’s just a bonus this week. As for the Bring A Friend for Friday the 13th we went with Black Friday the 13th, pairing a Bargain Bin C-list Gary Daniels martial arts film, Black Friday, with the conclusion of the horror franchise. There had been some questions for as as to what qualified for “Bargain Bin,” but this certainly does: stars a C-list actions star, does not have a trailer, and was directed by the same guy who made Saving Christmas. That is legit lower than Direct-to-DVD… that’s like Might-not-ever-be-on-DVD level. But of course my local public library had a copy ready to rent (my library is amazing). All things considered I’m willing to bet watching Black Friday will be a more horrifying experience than finishing up Friday the 13th. Let’s go!

Friday the 13th (2009) – BMeTric: 46.6

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(Nice. Opened high with the horror fans hitting the ratings hard, and they it goes a-tumblin’ down to the “mean”. The idea of an average rating is actually quite fascinating. The mean rating for IMDb as a whole is something like 7.0 (weighted by number of votes). For the top 10 thousand films (by popularity) it is closer to 6.4 instead. And I think if you were to postulate a limit, the mean rating a movie would hit if it was (1) perfectly average, and (2) an infinite number of people rated it, I think it would be around 5.8 all said and done. What does it say about BMT that so many of our movies approach this 5.8 limit like clockwork? I think it tells you a bit about how bad the “average” movie is, but this could also all be horseshit. Only deep diving data-analysis can tell the tale. Stay tuned.)

Leonard Maltin – 1.5 stars –  The 12th Friday isn’t a sequel but something like a remake of the 1st and 3rd. As before, some annoying teenagers encounter the silent, murderous Jason, who chops, stabs, and bludgeons his way through the cast, though without as much gore as in previous entries. Plodding, dull, and repetitive, this is only occasionally creepy and never scary. Yes, there’s a setup for a sequel, if anyone cares.

(Leonard loves lists. Although I do like the rhythm created by “chops, stabs and bludgeons” and “Plodding, dull, and repetitive”. Brutal takedown at the end, mainly because yeah, no one cared and Paramount cancelled the sequel mere months ago. Sigh.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NVsVKn-MS14

(As far as a remake is concerned this is probably the best storyline available. Use the hiker looking for his sister conceit. Replace Mama Voorhees with Jason. And give a few call backs (like the bag over the head). I like the idea of him being a weirdo protecting his territory as well. I am genuinely interested in seeing how they screw it up. Although judging by how much Camp Crystal Lake there is in the trailer, they might have caught a case of over-explainitis.)

Directors – Marcus Nispel – (Future BMT: Conan the Barbarian; The Texas Chainsaw Massacre; BMT: Pathfinder; Friday the 13th; Notes: Was originally attached to End of Days as his feature directorial debut, but left due to budget issues. Was originally a commercial and music video director.)

Writers – Damian Shannon and Mark Swift (screenplay & story) – (Known For: Freddy vs. Jason; Future BMT: Baywatch; BMT: Friday the 13th; Notes: True blue writing partners (they even have a joint wiki page). Brought in after Wheaton (and the originally attached director) was fired, having written Freddy vs. Jason.)

Mark Wheaton (story) – (Future BMT: The Messengers; BMT: Friday the 13th; Notes: He wrote for a number of film magazines prior to becoming a screenwriter despite going to school for playwriting. Writes for video games as well, and has had a few crime novels published in the past few years.)

Victor Miller (characters) – (Known For: Friday the 13th; Freddy vs. Jason; Jason Lives: Friday the 13th Part VI; BMT: Jason X; Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan; Friday the 13th: A New Beginning; Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood; Friday the 13th; Friday the 13th Part III; Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter; Friday the 13th Part 2; Notes: Wrote the original film.)

Actors – Jared Padalecki – (Known For: Phantom Boy; Future BMT: House of Wax; Cry_Wolf; Flight of the Phoenix; BMT: New York Minute; Friday the 13th; Cheaper by the Dozen; Notes: His IMDb profile is very details and weirdly focused on his high school academic achievements (like being a Presidential Scholar and an “exceptional” chess player). Played Dean Forester on Gilmore Girls.)

Amanda Righetti – (Known For: Captain America: The First Avenger; Role Models; BMT: Friday the 13th; Notes: Was Hailey Nichol on The O.C.! That’s Kirsten’s little sister for those playing at home. Mainly a television actress she had major parts on The Mentalist and Colony most recently.)

Derek Mears – (Known For: Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters; Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping; I Don’t Feel at Home in This World Anymore.; Predators; Signs; Zathura: A Space Adventure; Død snø 2; Hatchet III; MacGruber; Future BMT: Wild Wild West; The Haunted Mansion; The Hills Have Eyes II; Cursed; Men in Black II; Live by Night; Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides; The Demolitionist; Gangster Squad; BMT: Dragon Wars; Friday the 13th; Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles; Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters; Notes: Known for his “towering height”. Makes sense he would take over as Jason. I don’t have issues with not having Hodder return in the remake, if they had planned on making it a series I think you try out a few people to find someone who can bring something new and fresh to the part.)

Budget/Gross – $19 million / Domestic: $65,002,019 (Worldwide: $91,379,051)

(I mean, that’s a hit. $65 million is nothing to scoff at for a horror. They probably expected more, but none of these films made money, so I don’t know why they would. I am actually stunned they cancelled the sequel. The only plausible explanation is that they are rebooting it again to give it back that microbudget feel with a Blumhouse Pictures deal, but who could possibly know. Perhaps the cut they saw was so bad it would have killed the franchise forever.)

#7 for the Horror – Slasher genre

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(Second best of the remakes of classic horror franchises, beaten only by Texas Chainsaw Massacre. This franchise died with the remake wave. Is there no novel ways to make a slasher? Is the genre too narrow and self-aware. Possibly. Only time will tell. Would make me sad if true, but I have to imagine someone will come up with a twist and revive it, even if the glory of practical effects fueled 80s slashers are dead and gone.)

#7 for the Horror Remake genre

fridaythe13th09_horrorremake

(You can kind of see how the slasher died at the same time the remake boom died. There aren’t really any 90s horrors worth rebooting, so possibly they are just waiting a bit before delving back into more recent films? Unclear. Horror is experiencing a renaissance at the moment, so remakes don’t seem like the are entirely wanted or needed.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 25% (42/166): Though technically well-constructed, Friday the 13th is a series rehash that features little to distinguish it from its predecessors.

(Yeah … well I’m not sure going the other way would have worked out very well either. Honestly, I’m hard pressed to think how you could reboot a horror franchise like this without rehashing quite a bit. Any type of “innovation” I don’t think comes across as anything but gimmicky. Maybe set it after all of films (besides Jason X …) and don’t explain his resurrection? Soft reboot into Jason as a ghost story in the woods around Crystal Lake, something everyone forgot about.)

Poster – Friday the 13th (B-)

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(I like it! Some similarities to the original, although less artistic and more generic. Like the spacing, Jason-centric nature of it, and the coloring is dark but nice. Biggest flaw is they took a series with unique font and made it boring as shit.)

Tagline(s) – Welcome to Crystal Lake (B-)

(Concise and to the point, hinting at what’s to come (hopefully): a Friday the 13th film. Not clever in the least bit though.)

Keyword(s) – camp; Top Ten by BMeTric: 94.5 Batman & Robin (1997); 85.3 Troll 2 (1990); 81.3 Plan 9 from Outer Space (1959); 78.4 Pledge This! (2006); 75.9 Freddy Got Fingered (2001); 69.8 Year One (2009); 64.0 Seed of Chucky (2004); 60.5 Shrooms (2007); 53.6 Exit to Eden (1994); 50.8 Silent Night, Deadly Night 2 (1987);

(Booooooo, unless … does camp mean like a camp … or like campy? Because then Batman & Robin makes sense. Seems like a mix to be honest, which would make this list an absolutely bonkers marathon.)

Notes – The first time Paramount has any association with the “Friday the 13th” series since 1989.

Producer Michael Bay walked out in the movie premiere, stating that the movie featured too much sex. (Ha! Just too much for him)

Adrienne King, star of the original 1980 film, was approached by producers Andrew Form and Bradley Fuller to do a cameo appearance during preproduction. A few days later, the producers called her back and told her they didn’t want anyone from the original film to appear in the remake. (This production sounds organized).

The first film in the series released by both New Line Cinema and Paramount Pictures. Originally, Paramount owned the rights to the series after the original was released in 1980 but sold the rights to New Line Cinema in the early 1990’s after poor box office returns of Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989). New Line bought the rights to the characters of Jason Voorhees and Pamela Voorhees, the Crystal Lake name, and the trademark for the title “Friday the 13th”. All footage from the first eight films and the remake rights for the first film remained the property of Paramount. New Line Cinema released Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday (1993), Jason X (2001) and Freddy vs. Jason (2003). When Platinum Dunes came aboard to develop the new film, they wanted the freedom to use scenarios and characters from the films still owned by Paramount. After a legal dispute, the companies decided to co-produce the 2009 film.

In this movie Jason wears both the legendary hockey mask and the burlap sac, although neither of those appeared in the original Friday the 13th (1980). (Hmmmm, that’s a lot of fan service)

With $42.2 mil, had the biggest opening weekend of a horror-remake beating out former record holder The Grudge (2004) ($39.1 mil).

The title card of the movie isn’t displayed until the end of the opening segment, nearly 25 minutes into the film, which is one of the longest prologues for a horror film ever. (Holy shit, that is ridiculous)

Tommy Jarvis, a character that appeared in Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (1984), Friday the 13th: A New Beginning (1985), and Jason Lives: Friday the 13th Part VI (1986) was at one point confirmed by producers Bradley Fuller and Andrew Form of Platinum Dunes to be returning as Jason’s nemesis. (That would have actually been cool maybe, set them up in a trilogy or something to battle it out. I could have gotten behind that).

According to co-writer Damian Shannon, the character of Jason Voorhees was re-envisioned as more territorial, like a hunter, someone who doesn’t kill people at random but will defend his territory from anyone invading it, and this in the most horrible manner. Director Marcus Nispel similarly claims the film shows new aspects of Jason’s personality. Derek Mears says his portrayal of Jason as a survivalist defending his territory is partially inspired by the character of John Rambo in First Blood (1982). (That makes a lot of sense)

Despite the title, the date the events supposedly take place on, Friday the 13th, is only mentioned once. The date can be seen on a tear-away type calendar in the police station, as the officers leave to investigate towards the end of the movie.

One of the victims was originally supposed to drown due to exhaustion as Jason waited her out from the shore of the lake.

Travis Van Winkle portrayed the same character from Transformers (2007) which was directed by Michael Bay.

The film’s setting (New Jersey) is an homage to the original film being filmed in New Jersey. (Wellllll … Crystal Lake is in New Jersey so easy peasy).

Jason just randomly appearing out of thin air as in the earlier films wouldn’t fly this time around. So, they decided he traveled via a series of underground tunnels. That concept was in Mark Wheaton’s original script, but Mark Swift and Damian Shannon claimed to have never read Wheaton’s script until the film was finished, having come up with the same idea about the tunnels on their own. As for the marijuana plant farm which Jason appears to use to lure teenagers into traps, apparently no writer can claim that as their own. According to Swift and Shannon, that was actually director Marcus Nispel’s idea from early on in the development process, and it was their job to work it into the script. (Huh, that could work, but it sounds a bit too over-explainy to me).

The character of Sheriff Bracke, played by Richard Burgi, is named after author Peter Bracke, who wrote the book “Crystal Lake Memories: The Complete History of Friday the 13th”.

Screenwriters Mark Swift and Damian Shannon wanted Jason’s body count in the film to be just 13 as an easter egg for fans. It was surprising how much work it was to kill thirteen people.” Friday the 13th Part IV: The Final Chapter pulled off the “just 13 kills” thing as well, and Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives writer/director Tom McLoughlin originally turned in a film featuring just 13 kills. Executive Producer Frank Mancuso, Jr. forced him to perform re-shoots to up the body count to 18. (Ha, yeah, 13 is pretty close to typical for Friday the 13th, 18 is a lot).

A follow up to 2009’s Friday the 13th was slated for release on October 13, 2017, and was all set to go into production in a matter of weeks. But in February 2017 it was announced that paramount had pulled the plug on the project. (Sigh, yep, this is why we were doing this entire thing)

The film takes place on June 13, 1980 and in 2009.

It shares screenwriters with Freddy Vs. Jason, who had previously turned down the chance to do a Freddy Vs. Jason sequel. Damian Shannon and Mark Swift, as a result of the legal delays, Friday the 13th lost its original director (Jonathan Liebesman) and screenwriter (Mark Wheaton). Freddy Vs. Jason writers Mark Swift and Damian Shannon, who had earned their first writing credit with Freddy Vs. Jason but had yet to get another script onto the screen, were brought in to replace Wheaton. Both grew up huge Jason/Freddy fans, but their Freddy Vs. Jason script was largely re-written by David S. Goyer, who went uncredited, and the far campier film that came out of that was not to their liking. Still, New Line actually offered them the chance to pitch ideas for a Freddy Vs. Jason 2, which they turned down, according to Shannon, because “we thought maybe somebody else should tackle it because we shot our wad so to speak. Every idea we had about that was in the first. I don’t know what we could have done with a second one.”

Mark Wheaton’s original pitch to New Line was to reboot the series with “a new Part V,” ignoring the original “New Beginning” and everything that happened after while featuring a prologue showing Jason Voorhees witnessing the murder of his mother. The characters who come to Crystal Lake then know of Jason as they did in Friday the 13th Parts 2, 3-D, and IV, but Voorhees is not yet supernatural as he is beginning with Part VI (or is a demon worm, or has gone to space, etc.). To further suit the needs of a reboot, Wheaton had Voorhees in first the canvas bag as he was in Part 2 only to replace it with the hockey mask halfway through the film.

The character Richie was one of a few characters to have CGI effects added into his death. Derek Mears (Jason) was holding only the handle with half the blade of the fake machete, making it look like it impaled Richie’s (Ben Feldman’s) head. The visual effects crew digitally superimposed the fake machete to look like it was a completely bladed weapon in the final film. Director Marcus Nispel usually allowed minimal use of CGI effects into his films.

One Missed Call (2008) Preview

We’ve made it! We’ve hit the transition from <10% RT films to our new cycle! Hooray! Our journey isn’t done yet, but the clear waters of the Calendar cycle are cleansing our palates and bringing us BMT strength. But it wouldn’t be the StreetCreditReport.com cycle without a last punch to the nuts. We’re watching one of the worst reviewed films of all time, the January 4th entry on the Calendar (and you know that’s a good date for BMT), and one of the classics in bad horror. That’s right! We’re watching the critically reviled One Missed Call. Based on the Japanese film on the same name (which was in turn based on a book), it was one of the last big J-Horror remakes released during the mid-2000s boom. It garnered the super rare 0% on RT on a startling 80 reviews. Only Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever can compare. Let’s go!

One Missed Call (2008) – BMeTric: 80.7

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(I know it is quite hard to stay sub-4.0 on IMDb, but my motto has become that the mark of a truly bad movie is that it won’t regress in the face of increased popularity. Basically everyone who watches the film ultimately kind of agrees that it is trash, there is no effect of a wider audience being more lenient. So this plot makes me wonder if One Missed Call deserves the legendary anticipation we have endowed it with. The film has the second most reviews for a movie with 0% on Rotten Tomatoes, so its reputation precedes itself. But this still makes me a bit skeptical.)

Leonard Maltin – BOMB –  What if you received a message on your cell phone from your future self, with the date and time of your death? No need to stay awake at nights wondering, as this film lets you know how some college students deal with just such a predicament. Another Americanized remake of a Japanese horror film (Takashi Miike’s Chakushin Ari) with a good cast wasted. So bad that the title invites pithy putdowns; it’s just too easy.

(Put yo money where your mouth is Leonard, I want to hear those pithy putdowns! I can imagine the NY Post headline (something like They Missed!), but I’m kind of hardpressed to think of any super good ones. One Missed Movie? Terrible. He has to be talking about the “miss” part of it, but my mind keeps coming back to “hard miss” which is at the very least a somewhat niche phrasing. The beginning of this review is just a very long winded description of the movie … which always seems to me like Leonard doesn’t like horror films and just decided to skip this one. He does seem very adamant that the film is bad though, so maybe he did watch it.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I1F7hJNsi5M

(That trailer looks like a shot for shot remake of the original Japanese … with maybe a bit of Final Destination thrown in. Can’t wait for it to be aggressively not spooky-scary as well. The trailer doesn’t help itself by having the weird sound effects on the writing, just grating all around.)

Directors – Eric Valette – (Known For: La proie; BMT: One Missed Call; Notes: French filmmaker, so most of his films were never released widely in the US. Does a lot of French television including the Transporter series. I might have to check that out, I bet that could be pretty cool and help me learn French.)

Writers – Andrew Klavan (screenplay) – (Known For: True Crime; A Shock to the System; Future BMT: Don’t Say a Word; BMT: One Missed Call; Notes: A novelist and a screenwriter he could have the unique distinction of having a BMT credit for a screenplay he wrote adapting a book (One Missed Call based on Chakushin Ari) and a credit for a novel (Don’t Say a Word) which he didn’t adapt.)

Yasushi Akimoto (novel) – (Known For: Chakushin ari; BMT: One Missed Call; Notes: He is a music producer who has created some of Japan’s biggest “idol” groups including AKB48. He is the best selling lyricist in Japan with his songs exceeding $100 million in sales.)

Minako Daira (screenplay) (as Miwako Daira) – (Known For: Chakushin ari; BMT: One Missed Call; Notes: What a strange filmography, just all of the One Missed Call movies. I wonder if she was the a representative for Yasushi Akimoto when adapting his book into films? Nothing about her online.)

Actors – Edward Burns – (Known For: Saving Private Ryan; The Holiday; Friends with Kids; 27 Dresses; She’s the One; Confidence: After Dark; The Brothers McMullen; Sidewalks of New York; The Groomsmen; The Fitzgerald Family Christmas; Newlyweds; Future BMT: Life or Something Like It; Echelon Conspiracy; 15 Minutes; Man on a Ledge; Ash Wednesday; No Looking Back; BMT: One Missed Call; A Sound of Thunder; Alex Cross; Notes: Ooooo, it’s a sound of thundah. The star of that classic, and now often a micro-budget director, he sponsored a screenwriting contest through the company Scripped for a crowdsourced screenplay. As this was done in 2012 … I’m not sure it will ever actually happen.)

Shannyn Sossamon – (Known For: A Knight’s Tale; The Holiday; Kiss Kiss Bang Bang; The Rules of Attraction; Wristcutters: A Love Story; The End of Love; Life Is Hot in Cracktown; Road to Nowhere; Future BMT: Sinister 2; The Sin Eater; 40 Days and 40 Nights; The Day; Our Family Wedding; Undiscovered; BMT: One Missed Call; Notes: Sister of singer Jenny Lee Lindberg, and was a part of her band Warpaint before leaving to focus on acting. She studies dance in Los Angeles as well.)

Ana Claudia Talancón – (Known For: Fast Food Nation; El crimen del padre Amaro; Alone with Her; Sueño; The Dry Land; Future BMT: Love in the Time of Cholera; Enter the Dangerous Mind; BMT: One Missed Call; Notes: A Mexican actress and model. Nearly all of her credits are in Mexican cinema.)

Budget/Gross – $20 million / Domestic: $26,890,041 (Worldwide: $45,847,751)

(Pretty solid bomb domestic, but maybe a return worldwide. Hard to tell. The budget seems inflated though, $20 million is quite high for a horror film like this. They were probably trying for some of that sweet Ring money which made about five times as much.)

#76 for the Horror – Supernatural genre

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(Awesome graph. After dying off in the late 90s (the horror bust perhaps?) it came back with a vengeance with The Sixth Sense and The Blair Witch Project in 1999. The return is still going strong, where the screens these films are getting go up and up and yet the average per screen take is just about level. Although … that might change with Rings and The Bye Bye Man being among this year’s crop. With Right around last year’s The Forest.)

#35 for the Horror Remake genre

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(Comes right at the peak. I think we also have a bit more insight into maybe why the 00s are the Golden Age: remakes? This peak kind of perfectly covers the biggest years from around 2005-2010. The Ring kicked off the J-Horror remakes in 2002, but there hasn’t been a remake since 2015 according to Box Office Mojo. They’ll go back to the well eventually, I’m sure of it. This comes in several spots below The Fog … not a good look.)

#15 for the Remake – Asian genre

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(Same as above basically, big right after The Ring, but basically died off as original (micro budget) horror came back into style. With VOD likely being a big destination for horror in the future I would doubt budgets would allow for expensive IP buys, but who knows? This comes definitely below future BMT The Eye starring Jessica Alba.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 0% (0/80): One of the weakest entries in the J-horror remake sweepstakes, One Missed Call is undone by bland performances and shopworn shocks.

(uh oh, I’ll do a little on-the-fly translation for you: “This movie is not-scary and boring”. Just great. It apparently is so boring everyone just totally agreed and gave it a bad review. Please be wrong Cynical Patrick, please.)

Poster – One Missed Sklog (C+)

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(I don’t love the poster (particularly the cheesy screaming mouths for eyes), but it doesn’t do a lot wrong either. Coloring is fine and spacing is good. Could have been more creative with the font. Slightly better than average.)

Tagline(s) – What will it sound like when you die? (B-)

(Well… hopefully it’ll sound like I’m dying peacefully surrounded by loved ones… … … Oh, was that a rhetorical question?)

Keyword(s) – death; Top Ten by BMeTric: 95.9 Epic Movie (2007); 95.6 Meet the Spartans (2008); 94.3 Batman & Robin (1997); 94.1 Battlefield Earth (2000); 93.2 Dragonball Evolution (2009); 89.9 Speed 2: Cruise Control (1997); 89.6 Alone in the Dark (2005); 89.0 The Wicker Man (2006); 88.0 House of the Dead (2003); 87.6 Manos: The Hands of Fate (1966);

(This is just the list of the worst films according to the BMeTric. Death as a keyword is legit on something like 10000 films.)

Notes – Guillermo del Toro was offered the chance to direct, but turned it down to work on Hellboy II: The Golden Army (2008). (Good choice … well, maybe this movie would be better, but I liked Hellboy II)

Not screened for critics. (They just thought the critics would be too spooky scared I bet)

While in preparation for the film, director Eric Valette never watched the original Japanese version Chakushin ari (2003), and asked the actors not to watch it either. (… I don’t believe you. The trailer contains like a dozen identical situations as the original film. “But Patrick, maybe they adapted the book instead”. Bullshit, the book has never been translated to English. This stinks Mr. Valette, stinks of deception)

Out of 79 reviews on Rotten Tomatoes, none of of them have been positive resulting in an abysmal 0% rating as of 2015. Rotten Tomatoes awarded the film the Mouldy Tomato award for the worst reviewed film of 2008 as a result. (Yes, this is why we are doing this)

On August 2006 Ed Harris and Gabriel Byrne were both cast in undisclosed roles for the film but both dropped out due to unknown circumstances. (Maybe they read the script. Zing)

Rotten Tomatoes declared the film to be the second worst film of the 2000’s, coming behind Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever (2002). (Which has 0% and over 100 reviews. We’ll watch it (again) eventually. It is a very strange movie. Nothing has made less sense than Ballistic did to me when I watched it)

The project was filmed in 2006 and was scheduled to be released on August 24, 2007. The film, however, was later pushed back to January 4, 2008. (Probably when people watched it. Also, a horror film in August, terrible idea. Should have been slated for October).

Was the last Japanese horror remake to be theatrically released ever since the trend started with The Ring (2002) and ended with this film in 2008. (Wow, I genuinely didn’t realize that. That is awesome. I wonder how many J-Horror remakes were released in that time.)

The 508 area code is from South Eastern, Massachusetts. (Promising settings lead, thanks IMDb)

Every single character in this film is seen using a Boost Mobile flip phone. (gross).

Are We Done Yet? Preview

Onwards and upwards to Chain Reaction. After painting ourselves into a corner last year we finally fully extricated ourselves from the mess by landing on Ride Along 2. This cycle we get to move from that to the Are We There Yet? Series through Ice Cube. While this is not the worst reviewed set of films in history (that would obviously go to Baby Geniuses and Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2 with a shocking 2% and 0% RT scores, respectively), this is pretty spectacular in its own right with 11% and 8% RT scores for the two films. Also, it has the strange distinction of having the first film be totally original and then having the second film be a remake of the Cary Grant film Mr. Blanding Builds His Dream House (that was in turn based on a book which itself was expanded from a short story). Sometimes you can’t make this shit up. Let’s go! Finish up the week’s previews with the home-reno laugh-fest installment of the mega-franchise:

Are We Done Yet? (2007) – BMeTric: 64.7

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(Unlike its predecessor I’m not very surprised with how these graphics look because it is a sequel to a terrible film. I am rather delighted by how close the BMeTrics are (Are We There Yet? has a BMeTric of 62.5). The rating does regress to the mean more this time, although perhaps the rating is just rising to reach the equally terrible Are We There Yet?? I don’t know. Nice 2011 inflection like usual. Clockwork at this point.)

Leonard Maltin – 1.5 stars –  Inevitable sequel to Are We There Yet? Is also an official remake of the 1948 comedy Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House (complete with RKO Radio PIctures logo), but Ice Cube isn’t Cary Grant and this script is much more bland than Blandings. Premise is basically the same: a man moves his growing family out of the crowded city and into his “dream house” in the suburbs, where everything goes wrong. Endlessly unfunny slapstick antics may have you looking at your watch and asking the real question: “Is it over yet?”

(Ugh, much more bland? As a person who has now seen Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House … I’m skeptical a movie could be more bland. Or at least I hope Are We Done Yet? isn’t as frustrating. I was squirming in my seat and only survived because of the telegraphed happy ending. Sigh.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Op8AlTe5Js8

(Boooooo. These don’t look like fun bad movies, they look like bad boring movies. You better not bore me for three hours. Give me something to latch onto, a little lifesaver I can float on in the rocking bad movie seas.)

Directors – Steve Carr – (Known For: Middle School: The Worst Years of My Life; Dr. Dolittle 2; BMT: Movie 43 (BMT); Are We Done Yet?; Paul Blart: Mall Cop (BMT); Daddy Day Care; Rebound; Next Friday; Notes:  Won the Razzie Award in 2014 for Worst Director for Movie 43; Wouldn’t be surprising to complete this guy’s filmography in the not-too-distant-future. Used to be a music video director and got his start with Next Friday after directing one of Ice Cube’s music videos. Currently attached to the terribly named Cinderfella which has a perfectly obvious plotline … it is Cinderella by the opposite.)

Writers – Hank Nelken (screenplay & screen story) – (BMT: Are We Done Yet?; Saving Silverman; Mama’s Boy; Notes: The only screenwriter on this project it would seem as the others are credited for either Are We There Yet? or the “original movie” Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House. This guy has a true blue pull-yourself-up-by-the-bootstraps story starting in Mississippi and Texas making Bar Mitzvah videos and ultimately in Hollywood. He has no credits since 2011, but I would guess he’s been working behind the scenes for a while. He was at one point attached to a remake of the film Outlaw Blues.)

Steven Gary Banks and Claudia Grazioso (characters) – (BMT: Are We Done Yet?; Are We There Yet?; Notes: Wrote the predecessor Are We There Yet? Their note in that preview is quite interesting as it would seem they were tapped to write Just Go With It (probably with the intention of starring Ice Cube) which was eventually made without these guys and with Adam Sandler starring instead.)

Norman Panama (screenplay) – (Known For: Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House; White Christmas; The Court Jester; Road to Utopia; My Favorite Blonde; BMT: Are We Done Yet?; Notes: Long time writing partner with Frank. It is kind of amazing to see one of the founding partnerships of Hollywood, they started writing together at the University of Chicago in 1942! They only have a credit on this film because Are We Done Yet? Is apparently an adaptation of Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House, which is in turn based on a book, which was expanded from an original short story. I find it nuts that they so explicitly consider it an adaptation, the movie was made in 1950!)

Melvin Frank (screenplay) – (Known For: Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House; White Christmas; The Court Jester; A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum; A Touch of Class; Road to Utopia; My Favorite Blonde; BMT: Are We Done Yet?; The Duchess and the Dirtwater Fox; Notes: Long time writing partner with Panama. Considered to be by far the more successful of the two because after going their separate ways in the 1960s Frank continued to direct (including the Oscar winning film A Touch of Class) and produce. Fun fact: I’ve always meant to watch The Court Jester because it stars a young Angela Lansbury and I am a Murder She Wrote mega-fan. Not joking.)

Actors – Ice Cube – (Known For: xXx: Return of Xander Cage; 21 Jump Street; Friday; The Book of Life; 22 Jump Street; Boyz n the Hood; Barbershop: A Fresh Cut; Three Kings; Barbershop; Rampart; Higher Learning; Barbershop 2: Back in Business; Trespass; The Glass Shield; The Longshots; BMT: xXx²: State of the Union (BMT); Anaconda; Torque (BMT); Are We Done Yet?; Ghosts of Mars (BMT); Are We There Yet?; First Sunday; Lottery Ticket; Ride Along 2 (BMT); Friday After Next; I Got the Hook Up; All About the Benjamins; Dangerous Ground; Ride Along (BMT); Next Friday; The Players Club; Notes: It is always weird writing two previews back to back when the same actors are in both. I’ll just say that I would put him right up there with The Rock as far as people who I would watch in a movie based on charm alone.)

Nia Long – (Known For: Friday; Keanu; Boyz n the Hood; Boiler Room; Alfie; Soul Food; The Best Man; The Best Man Holiday; Lemon; Roxanne Roxanne; The Broken Hearts Club: A Romantic Comedy; BMT: Big Momma’s House 2 (BMT); Are We Done Yet?; Are We There Yet?; Big Momma’s House (BMT); Made in America; Premonition; The Single Moms Club; Held Up; Stigmata; Notes: Same as with Ice Cube, this is the third little write up I’ve done for here in about a month.  I would think Premonition is the last major BMT left in her filmography … which does actually qualify for our next planned cycle, Films That Got <10% on Rotten Tomatoes. So maybe a fourth Nia Long vehicle is coming our way.)

John C. McGinley – (Known For: Se7en; The Belko Experiment; Platoon; Office Space; Point Break; Identity; The Rock; Any Given Sunday; Wall Street; 42; Born on the Fourth of July; World Trade Center; Set It Off; Kid Cannabis; Nixon; BMT: Highlander II: The Quickening (BMT); The Animal; Are We Done Yet?; On Deadly Ground (BMT); Alex Cross (BMT); Get Carter (BMT); Summer Catch; Stealing Harvard; Car 54, Where Are You?; Get a Job; Wagons East; Wild Hogs (BMT); Three to Tango; Notes: I love McGinley and will look forward to completing his BMT filmography one day. Five movies is incredibly impressive. Favorite fact from IMDb? Raised in Millburn, NJ, and attended Millburn Senior High School, the alma mater of Anne Hathaway. Fun because that means he attended the same high school as bad movie mega-star Elliot Kalan of the Flop House, The Daily Show, and producer for the remake of Mystery Science Theater 3000.)

Budget/Gross – N/A / Domestic: $49,662,533 (Worldwide: $58,388,068)

(Interesting that there is no budget, so I can only really comment with regards to what I would consider to be a successful comedy and expectations given the first film. Considering that the first film got close to what I would call a comedy hit ($100 million) this was probably a disappointment. Perhaps it is why, I think, Ice Cube has not starred in a PG film since.)

#21 for the Comedy – Fish-Out-of-Water Father genre

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(Ah sliding right in there as the genre is dying. Classic. This came in right around Hall of Fame nominee Old Dogs. As I said in the Are We There Yet? preview the genre could potentially be dead? There hasn’t been a new contribution since 2013. Bumbling father is a classic though, I feel like it’ll come back.)

#59 for the Comedy – Sequel (Live Action) genre

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(Ride Along 2, Paul Blart 2, Big Momma 2, Be Cool and last week’s Miss Congeniality 2 are all live action comedy sequels we’ve seen in the last year or so! Coming in a shade above Miss Congeniality 2 is not a good look, and it came just as the genre was taking a little financial nap. Once they see a bit of money they bleed any and all potential franchises dry, that includes terrible family comedies with Ice Cube.)

#21 for the Comedy Remake genre

comedyremake_21

(Ooooooo right at the end of producers yelling to their assistants: “Hey, Carl, what sweet IP we got?” and getting the response “Uh, Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House from 1948” … “Make that a sequel to something”. This comes in right above Yours, Mine and Ours (2005) and the genre has taken quite a hit recently with very few productions and a lackluster return from Ghostbusters.)

#20 for the Family – Remake genre

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(……. these last two graphics are basically the same. So yeah, Family/Comedy Remakes aren’t doing so hot. Actually, most comedy remakes are probably family oriented if the source material was from before the 80’s now that I think of it. This came in just below the classic Angels in the Outfield. Recently Jungle Book was a smash hit … wait a minute, these graphs don’t include the live action remakes of the Disney movies like Cinderella. That doesn’t really make sense but whatever.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 8% (7/93): Are We Done Yet? plays it way too safe with generic slapstick and uninspired domestic foibles.

(Less than 10% on rotten tomatoes is very rare, and more so when you consider that the film garnered almost 100 reviews. I think I can turn my brain off and enjoy generic slapstick. The domestic foibles on the other hand …)

Poster – Are Sklogs Done Yet? (D+)

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(This is the same poster as for the last one so why not copy that: There is a whole class of posters that a similar to this that I just hate, hate, hate. Too much empty space and not enough stylization of the characters on the poster. The font is still okay and, bonus, making Are Sklogs Done Yet? would be a bit harder because so much stuff is all over the title. I docked a grade because they plagiarized themselves.)

Tagline(s) – New house. New family. What could possibly go wrong? (F)

(Fuck this. This is the same as the last tagline too!! The last tagline was: 24 hours. 350 miles. His girlfriend’s kids. What could possibly go wrong? Everything. We get it. Everything can and will go wrong.)

Keyword(s) – renovation; Top Ten by BMeTric: 80.8 Home Alone 3 (1997); 74.1 Prom Night (I) (2008); 64.7 Are We Done Yet? (2007); 56.5 Poltergeist III (1988); 46.1 Meet the Browns (2008); 40.2 Xanadu (1980); 33.3 From Prada to Nada (2011); 26.4 Psychosis (I) (2010); 25.9 Baby Mama (2008); 24.1 Dark Shadows (2012);

(I think this is the first time I’ve found a keyword where we haven’t seen any of the movies. Xanadu will happen soon enough I think. Besides that though I don’t really see any of the others on the BMT horizon.)

Notes – A quote from Nick, “I don’t know karate, but I know ka-razay!” when he’s confronting Chuck, are actually lyrics from James Brown’s 1974 single “The Payback” from the album of the same name.

Shipped to theaters under the name “Needs Work” (I honestly hate these “fun” facts. It just never seems all that important what a movie shipped as, nor are they ever clever or funny)

When Nick tells Chuck, who is played by John C. McGinley, that he feels good sitting on a private toilet, Chuck says, “Feeling good is good enough.” That line is said by Willem Dafoe in the 1986 Oscar winner Platoon, which stars McGinley. (Fun fact I guess)

Ice Cube was approached to do another sequel, but declined, saying that he wanted to go in a different direction. He then proposed that the movie idea be turned into a TV show, which it did: Are We There Yet? (2010). (Smart. Ice Cube seems like a smart dude. My guess is he realized he didn’t want to be shoehorned into family comedies like Eddie Murphy, Adam Sandler, and Martin Lawrence seemed to be. Also my guess as to why the writers got dropped from Just Go With It when they realized they couldn’t get Cube)

The Wicker Man Preview

A small note prior to this post: Last July we decided to take a look back at the movies that we watched over five years ago and choose a Hall of Fame class, five movies that we thought embodied BMT in some way. Perhaps they were particularly bad, or an example of a specific bad movie trope, whatever, something made them stand out as special in our minds. Since we didn’t do email previews back in 2011 we also decided to provide a preview for the movie. This is the second in a series of five leading up to our yearly awards the Smaddies Baddies. A recap (Hall of Fame speech really) will follow immediate afterwards to explain why the movie was chosen, things we loved about the movie, and things we discovered upon second viewing. Enjoy!

The Wicker Man (2006) – BMeTric: 83.4

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(I feel like the Rating plot is pretty interesting. While the number of votes has been increasing steadily you’d usually expect the rating to increase over time (merely regression to the mean, most people would usually not have a particularly strong opinion about The Wicker Man). But this doesn’t, it has been around 3.6 (incredibly low) for years. Perhaps that is what it means to be a “cult bad movie” though? A movie that people who do have strong opinions about movies purposefully seek out and give a 1 on IMDb to. It wouldn’t be surprising honestly. Note that Old Dogs, which is not a cult bad movie, is rated much higher and probably does have a bit of regression to the mean happening, so it is plausible. The BMeTric is also impressively high.)

Leonard Maltin – 1.5 stars – Cop travels to an isolated island after receiving word from his ex that her child has disappeared and finds the place populated by a quietly tyrannical cult of women. Interesting (if misogynistic) reimagining of the 1973 film’s concept is poorly executed: a mysterious, building dread has been replaced with the obvious presence of evil that the hero is too dumb to figure out. Cage is sometimes hilariously hammy; only Burstyn, chillingly warm and civilized as the cult’s leader, emerges unscathed. LaBute adapted Anthony Shaffer’s original screenplay.

(Cage is sometimes hilariously hammy? Uhhhhh… watch the film again Leonard. Should just be called Hilariously Hammy Cage.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G8tHgGncPA0

(They don’t make them like they used to. They actually did a pretty good job of putting together even the most hilarious parts of the film into a competent trailer. Unfortunately they still made it look like a Y2K era horror film. In other words, not good.)

Directors – Neil LaBute – (Known For: Death at a Funeral; Lakeview Terrace; The Shape of Things; Possession; Some Velvet Morning; Nurse Betty; In the Company of Men; Your Friends & Neighbors; Stars in Shorts; BMT: The Wicker Man; Dirty Weekend; Notes:  Nominated for the Razzie Award in 2007 for Worst Screenplay for The Wicker Man, and Anthony Shaffer. Accomplished playwright as well. Created, directed, and wrote a TV series last year called Billy & Billie… maybe I should check it out.)

Writers – Neil LaBute (screenplay) (as Neil Labute) – (Known For: The Shape of Things; Some Girl(s); Possession; Some Velvet Morning; In the Company of Men; Your Friends & Neighbors; Stars in Shorts; BMT: The Wicker Man; Dirty Weekend; Notes:  Nominated for the Razzie Award in 2007 for Worst Screenplay for The Wicker Man, and Anthony Shaffer. My favorite part of his IMDb bio that it opens with, “Acclaimed and highly discussed filmmaker Neil LaBute[…]” Heh, highly discussed.)

Anthony Shaffer (1973 screenplay) – (Known For: Death on the Nile; The Wicker Man; Sommersby; Evil Under the Sun; Frenzy; Sleuth; BMT: The Wicker Man; Sleuth; Notes: Writer of the original. Died in 2001 at age 75 from a heart attack. Identical twin brother (what, what!) of Peter Schaffer, who wrote the play and film adaptations for Amadeus.)

Actors – Nicolas Cage – (Known For: Snowden; The Family Man; Fast Times at Ridgemont High; The Croods; Dog Eat Dog; Kick-Ass; National Treasure; The Rock; The Trust; Con Air; The Sorcerer’s Apprentice; Face/Off; Grindhouse; Lord of War; Drive Angry; Moonstruck; Leaving Las Vegas; Matchstick Men; Adaptation.; Raising Arizona; The Frozen Ground; Wild at Heart; Joe; City of Angels; Rumble Fish; Peggy Sue Got Married; Valley Girl; Bringing Out the Dead; Astro Boy; Snake Eyes; The Weather Man; World Trade Center; Bad Lieutenant; Birdy; The Cotton Club; Vampire’s Kiss; BMT: The Wicker Man; Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance; Left Behind; Ghost Rider; G-Force; Tokarev; Season of the Witch; Outcast; Trespass; Dying of the Light; Bangkok Dangerous; Stolen; Pay the Ghost; Wings of the Apache; The Runner; Zandalee; Deadfall; Amos & Andrew; Captain Corelli’s Mandolin; Windtalkers; Knowing; Next; Army of One; Trapped in Paradise; Justice; USS Indianapolis: Men of Courage; Sonny; Gone in Sixty Seconds; National Treasure: Book of Secrets; 8MM; Notes:  Nominated for the Razzie Award in 2015 for Worst Actor for Left Behind, in 2013 for Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance, and Seeking Justice, in 2012 for Worst Actor for Drive Angry, Season of the Witch, and Trespass, in 2008 for Ghost Rider, National Treasure: Book of Secrets, and Next, and in 2007 for The Wicker Man; Nominated for the Razzie Award in 2012 for Worst Screen Couple for Drive Angry, Season of the Witch, and Trespass, and in 2007 for The Wicker Man. How doesn’t he win one of those awards? Whatever. Not much more needed to say about our main man Nic Cage. Apparently up to play Reagan in an upcoming film. I say do it, bro. Do it.)

Ellen Burstyn – (Known For: Interstellar; Requiem for a Dream; The Age of Adaline; The Exorcist; Red Dragon; The Fountain; Wiener-Dog; Draft Day; Omoide no Mânî; When a Man Loves a Woman; W.; The Last Picture Show; The Calling; Alice Doesn’t Live Here Anymore; The Baby-Sitters Club; How to Make an American Quilt; Playing by Heart; The Yards; Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood; Lovely, Still; Another Happy Day; Same Time, Next Year; BMT: The Wicker Man; Main Street; Dying Young; Notes: Nominated for six Oscars, winning one for Alice Doesn’t Live Here Anymore. Is the reason why Emmy nominations require an actor to appear in at least 5% of a project to be eligible after she was nominated for appearing in a TV Movie Mrs. Harris for a grand total of 14 seconds due to name recognition.)

Leelee Sobieski – (Known For: Eyes Wide Shut; Public Enemies; Deep Impact; Never Been Kissed; Roadkill; Max; My First Mister; Walk All Over Me; A Soldier’s Daughter Never Cries; BMT: The Wicker Man; In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale; Jungle 2 Jungle; Branded; Here on Earth; 88 Minutes; The Glass House; Notes:  Nominated for the Razzie Award in 2009 for Worst Supporting Actress for 88 Minutes, and In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale. From what I understand she’s essentially retired from acting to raise her children and has no intention of returning. Noooooooooooooooooooo!)

Budget/Gross – $40 million / Domestic: $23,649,127 (Worldwide: $38,755,073)

(That is rough. But perhaps this was all part of the brilliant black comedy homage to the original, which also didn’t fair well in the theaters. Yeah, that’s the ticket. People only think it did poorly at the box office. In reality LaBute and Cage are geniuses that purposefully made sure it failed to properly honor the original.)

#40 for the Horror Remake genre

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(Right at the peak, classic BMT. It is kind of amazing, you can see that they made a few (probably the good ones) and that kicked off the 2005-2010 gold rush. I’m surprised the genre collapsed considering it pulled in decent cash ($12K per theater for 2000 theater is $24 million, more than enough considering horror films tend towards low budget). My guess? They ran out of remakes to make. Maybe in like 20 years it’ll change again when the remake to The Conjuring and Annabelle are thrown out there.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 15% (16/106): Puzzlingly misguided, Neil LaBute’s update The Wicker Man struggles against unintentional comedy and fails.

(This matches my perception of the film, which is that if you replace Nic Cage with Patrick Wilson, or someone equally white and innocuous, you have a reasonably creepy film that is forgotten at this point. The only thing actually puzzling about The Wicker Man is Nic Cage single handedly tearing it apart.)

Poster – The Wicker Sklog (B+)

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(I’m actually feeling this poster. I don’t love how prominent the picture of the little girl is on the poster, but everything else is well done and artistic.)

Tagline(s) – Some Sacrifices Must Be Made (B)

(Oh ho ho ho… get it? Sacrifices!… He’s being sacrificed in a giant wicker man. Nailed it! This is actually pretty clever, but doesn’t really take enough from the plot to get my full-throated support. The more I think about it, the more I don’t like it, so I better just go ahead and grade it.)

Keyword(s) – feminism; Top Ten by BMeTric: 83.4 The Wicker Man (2006); 52.5 Ghostbusters (2016); 44.7 Le divorce (2003); 43.1 The Brain That Wouldn’t Die (1962); 43.0 In the Cut (2003); 37.9 The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement (2004); 34.8 G.I. Jane (1997); 29.3 The Single Moms Club (2014); 28.4 The Clan of the Cave Bear (1986); 27.8 Girls Against Boys (2012);

(Ha! Somehow I knew Ghostbusters would make an appearance. That BMeTric is an embarrassment and tells you loads about IMDb and its users, but whatever. We almost watched The Clan of the Cave Bear as a 1986 film adapted from a book, but I didn’t like the idea of reading a historical fiction book that probably had little to do with the eventual movie.)

Notes – There is a “Missing” sign in the police station with a photo of Edward Woodward’s character from The Wicker Man (1973). (Super fun fact!)

Robin Hardy, a writer and the director of the original film, and Christopher Lee, who played Summerisle in the original film, were both critical of the remake. Hardy had his name removed from the film’s credits as he did not wish to be associated with it.

Not screened for critics. (I did wonder whether they knew just how bad it was when they released it. These two notes answer that question.)

The film is dedicated to late musician Johnny Ramone, who introduced Nicolas Cage to Robin Hardy’s original The Wicker Man (1973). (These notes are insane)

Nicolas Cage objected to the criticism that the film was unintentionally funny, saying that he and Neil LaBute knowingly made the picture an absurdist black comedy and that it should have been seen and judged as such. (I do not believe this, mostly because it’s all well and good to make an intentionally bad film for laughs, but I doubt LaBute would use a remake of the cult classic The Wicker Man to do that.)

Awards – Nominated for the Razzie Award for Worst Picture

Nominated for the Razzie Award for Worst Actor (Nicolas Cage)

Nominated for the Razzie Award for Worst Screen Couple (Nicolas Cage)

Nominated for the Razzie Award for Worst Remake or Rip-Off

Nominated for the Razzie Award for Worst Screenplay (Neil LaBute, Anthony Shaffer)

(Oddly underappreciated at the time by the Razzies. Lost every category to either Basic Instinct 2 or Little Man. While that isn’t totally ridiculous, The Wicker Man is clearly now the most celebrated film of the three)

King Kong Lives Preview

This week we really get down in the muck for Horror/Thriller. That’s because we are doing the sequel to the 1976 King Kong remake, King Kong Lives. Never heard of it? You shouldn’t have. It is well known for having some of the most horrendous special effects of the age. It also sounds like a B-movie straight-to-video release and yet still got a wide theatrical release (1000+ theaters). We’re really only doing this because it is a major part of the Razzie book as one of the most enjoyable bad movies of all time. Hard to pass up on those credentials for a 1986 film when we’re doing a cycle restricted to just that year. Guess we’ll get to find out whether it’s truly enjoyable or if this is just another White Comanche (shudder). Let’s go!

King Kong Lives (1986) – BMeTric: 40.7

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(Finally something interesting in these plots! First, what happened in 2006? All of a sudden there is a weird uptick in the votes. And then twice the vote count goes down! My theory? These events are more common with “confused” movie titles. Here there are a multitude of King Kong titles available and they every so often try to make sure there aren’t mistaken votes. Tenuous, but it is weird that the event seems so rare (remember the Bratz effect) and with no real rhyme or reason. Still, seems odd for IMDb to do, and confusing for this movie in particular, there is no way bots are trolling a random movie from a defunct production company. It is absurd.)

Leonard Maltin – BOMB –  Dino De Laurentiis sequel gives the ape a mate with everything he loves: She’s tall, statuesque, with great mossy teeth. The Army tried to kill them (naturally), but not before the finale that actually rips off the final scene in Spartacus. Desperate.

(And with one single word Leonard effectively eviscerates this film. Desperate. As we know from Raw Deal De Laurentiis was desperate at the time. This is the second Dino De Laurentiis film in a row, and the studio declared bankruptcy basically right after these colossal failures. This actually makes me a bit more enamored with the 1986 bad movie catalogue. There is an underlying theme of the pre-blockbuster studio system going through a tiny death as executives like De Laurentiis desperately try to sell films that feel more comfortable in the 70s to audiences whose minds are being blown by Return of the Jedi)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C0HvmgZfbl8

(I mean … what is this? Seriously? Again, three years after Return of the Jedi! People went from lightsaber battles to a King Kong sequel which looks like it uses effects from the 60s. The entire trailer is complete and utter trash as well. This movie is going to be a distinct non-pleasure to watch I think.)

Directors – John Guillermin – (Known For: King Kong; The Towering Inferno; Death on the Nile; Shaft in Africa; BMT: King Kong Lives; Sheena; Notes: Nominated for the Razzie Award in 1985 for Worst Director for Sheena. Accomplished Action-Adventure filmmaker who was also well known for being incredibly difficult to work with. I will say that out of everything in King Kong (1976) the direction was probably the best part of the film, the sets were rather incredible to behold. No wonder he basically fell out of favor with the rise of digital effects though.)

Writers – Steven Pressfield (screenplay & story) – (Known For: The Legend of Bagger Vance; Above the Law; BMT: King Kong Lives; Freejack; Notes: Notable author, specifically The Legend of Bagger Vance, and screenwriter. He is particularly notable for his non-fiction and fiction work in military history as his father was in the Navy and he was a Marine for a time. Was homeless as he struggled to get Bagger Vance published early in his career.)

Ronald Shusett (screenplay & story) – (Known For: Alien; Aliens; Prometheus; Total Recall; Alien: Resurrection; Alien³; Above the Law; Dead & Buried; BMT: Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem; AVP: Alien vs. Predator; King Kong Lives; Freejack; Total Recall (2015); The Final Terror; Notes: Famous for his work with Dan O’Bannon in Science Fiction he helped write Alien and Total Recall. He moved into producer roles in the 90s and now basically produces B-level horror for a living.)

Edgar Wallace (Known For: King Kong (multiple); Notes: Made the character of King Kong in a script he penned for RKO Studios. Was incredibly prolific, but all of his films are from pre-1940 and King Kong is his only major lasting character.)

Merian C. Cooper (character) – (Known For: King Kong (multiple); Mighty Joe Young (multiple) BMT: King Kong Lives; Notes: Co-inventor of the Cinerama technique he is probably most famous for creating King Kong and Mighty Joe Young. Edgar Wallace penned the script, but Cooper allegedly had a dream imagining a giant gorilla attacking New York. I assume the final product is basically both Wallace and Cooper’s ideas smushed together.)

Actors – Brian Kerwin – (Known For: The Help; 27 Dresses; Murphy’s Romance; Gold Diggers: The Secret of Bear Mountain; BMT: King Kong Lives; Jack; Getting Away with Murder; Notes: He has an amazingly varied career bouncing from extensive work in theater, to film, to daytime tv (where he won a daytime emmy).)

Linda Hamilton – (Known For: Terminator 2: Judgment Day; The Terminator; BMT: King Kong Lives; Children of the Corn; Dante’s Peak; Shadow Conspiracy; Black Moon Rising; Terminator Salvation; Notes: Obviously the original Sarah Conners from the Terminator franchise. It is kind of incredible how poorly her career went outside of that franchise. Was notably married to James Cameron for a time, and revealed that she suffers from Bipolar Disorder. She mainly does television now in guest spots.)

Budget/Gross – $18 million / Domestic: $4,711,220 (N/A)

(Obviously a complete unmitigated disaster. I assumed as much since this was probably a major contributing factor in De Laurentiis filing for bankruptcy. It also seems ludicrous to me, based on the trailer, that this films would cost $18 million, but whatever.)

#63 for the Creature Feature genre

creaturefeature_63

(Seen for Critters 2: The Main Course (#66) where we said: The creature feature is a staple of classic horror, but I think it kind of rose to prominence again after Jurassic Park (in case you were wondering what that gigantic peak around ’93 was). Since then it comes and goes in waves, but will probably rise again with Jurassic World killing it at the box office. King Kong may add to it soon as well. King Kong Lives certainly contributed to BMT sooner than I expected.)

#22 for the Remake – Sequel to a Remake genre

sequelremake_22

(This was also seen for Cheaper by the Dozen 2 (#8) where we said: My God, those waves! They just get bigger and bigger. Presumably the troughs are where they release the original remake. I think ‘05 to ‘10 might end up going down in history as an anomaly in bad movie history, just prior to the tentpole movies crowding the release schedule and VOD becoming a real option, a true heyday of traditional bad movie watching. Another dying genre it looks like, possibly because these sequels are now more regularly being released by alternative means. Funny that King Kong Lives appears to be one of the first sequel to a remake ever! Groundbreaking.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 0% (0/9): No consensus yet.

(Time to make a consensus which unfortunately would go a little like this: This movie is boring. Period. Oof, this is looking more dire by the minute. This is literally all Ebert mentions in his review, that the actors look bored and the movie is boring.)

Poster – King Sklog Lives (A)

king_kong_lives

(I’m going to give this the benefit of the doubt and say that the old school look is intentional. In which case I really do like the poster. I might even love it. It is energetic, and kind of cool, and the artistic styling is just fun. A very cool idea and surprising to see from a film made in 1986. There are a few other posters (on rotten tomatoes for example) which are straight terrible, but I’m going to go with this one.)

Tagline(s) – The Legendary Kong is Back! (C-)

America’s Biggest Hero is back…and He is not happy. (F)

(Okay, the first guy is standard and just boring, but hard to complain about it. The second … honestly why is King Kong considered America’s Biggest Hero? How is he a hero? In the 1976 film what did he do that was heroic? Nothing. That tagline is ridiculous.)

Keyword(s) – ape; Top Ten by BMeTric: 86.1 Dragonball: Evolution (2009); 83.6 Scary Movie 5 (2013); 68.1 The Flintstones (1994); 57.6 Congo (1995); 40.7 King Kong Lives (1986); 38.8 Battle for the Planet of the Apes (1973); 29.6 King Kong (1976); 24.7 Speed Racer (2008); 22.7 Beneath the Planet of the Apes (1970); 21.3 Conquest of the Planet of the Apes (1972);

(Hey, after watching this film and all of the planet of the apes we’ll have watched all of the top “ape” keyword films. Not a terrible list, but also not amazing. I can’t remember why Dragonball would have ape listed. Or Scary Movie 5. Or Flintstones …. This list is weird.)

Notes – Peter Michael Goetz’s cheque for post release royalties came to 3 cents. He has it stapled to the film poster in his house, having never cashed it. (Ha, see these are the more lighthearted notes I like)

Peter Weller was offered a part in this film; but he opted to play the title role in RoboCop (1987) instead. (good choice)

Writer Steven Pressfield mentions “King Kong Lives” as a live-changing, validating failure in his book ‘The War of Art: Break Through the Blocks and Win Your Inner Creative Battles.’ This was his first professional writing job after 17 years of trying. After the movie bombed, he realized he had become a professional. He hadn’t yet had a success, but “had had a real failure.” (very cool, Pressfield seems like he has a cool story)

This film is listed among the 100 Most Enjoyably Bad Movies Ever Made in Golden Raspberry Award founder John WIlson’s book THE OFFICIAL RAZZIE® MOVIE GUIDE. (This guide is garbage and I think that probably none of these films are enjoyable beyond thinking “oh wow King Kong looks like crap in this …. Cool”. Hard to sustain enjoyment of a bad movie based on something like that)

As of 2015, it remains as the last theatrical film directed by John Guillermin. (Wow, that is pretty amazing. It does look old school)

Awards – Nominated for the Razzie Award for Worst Visual Effects (Carlo Rambaldi)

Mechanic: Resurrection Preview

Big week here at BMTHQ. That’s because we are finally doing the third of four In Theaters Now interludes! This week we saw the release of Mechanic: Ressurection. The film is a sequel to 2011’s The Mechanic, which is in turn a remake of the Charles Bronson original. Considering how much we love homework for BMT, we jumped at the chance to catch up on the series (which is presumably now finished). The film had a crazy embargo on reviews, garnering less than 20 even after the weekend during which it premiered in 2300 theaters). Now it’s up in the 30’s, but still that’s remarkable. Consider this: Suicide Squad has 287 tallied reviews. Even the boxing movie Hands of Stone (released in 1/4 as many theaters on the same weekend) has double the reviews! It goes to show how much control a studio really has. If they want reviewers to see a film that can get it seen. If not? It makes its money and disappears. I’m actually pretty excited for this. I’m glad we were able to fit this in live. Let’s go!

Mechanic: Resurrection (2016) – BMeTric: 13.6

MechanicResurrection_BMeT

MechanicResurrection_RV

(Huh. That BMeTric is actually pretty high for having literally just come out. Nothing really to see since it is so early in its run, although its vote numbers look … small. I would guess maybe 6 thousand for the theatrical and 12K initially after VOD release? Won’t be a BMeTric barn burner, but if that rating keeps a tumblin’ then it will make like 20-30.)

RogerEbert.com – 1.5 stars –  How bad could it be? Not good, is the answer, learned at an early Thursday evening screening. Despite some of the most picturesque locations money can buy, and some not unimpressive looking movable props (yachts with helipads and such) and so on, “Mechanic: Resurrection” suffers from a storyline and script that strains credulity and insults intelligence even by the low bar set by the majority of contemporary action movies.

(Noice. Terrible scripts are my bag. You telling me we are getting Expendables level picturesque locales? Yes please! Count me in. Purposefully withholding the movie from reviewers is almost always a great sign. This ain’t Star Wars 8, they probably did this because it is straight hot garbage and they want Statham-heads to get out to the theater before they’ve realized their horrible mistake. They didn’t count on the bad movie twins though, I’m going to almost literally run to the theater to see this piece of trash)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G-P3f_wDXvs

(That looks like garbage. Having seen the original and remake of the Mechanic it also doesn’t really fall in line with the movie at all. And, spoiler alert, Tommy Lee Jones is barely in this movie so him getting third billing and a strong presence in the trailer is hilarious. The music doesn’t even get me jazzed up, sigh.)

Directors – Dennis Gansel – (Known For: Die Welle; Before the Fall; Wir sind die Nacht; BMT: Mechanic: Resurrection; Notes: German director who also does some commercial work. I’ve heard of a few of his features, specifically Die Welle (The Wave). This could mark his attempt to transition to America, he has at least one smaller American film in pre-production. One of ten directors included in Berlin, I Love You, the counterpart to Paris je t’aime)

Writers – Philip Shelby (screenplay & story) – (BMT: Survivor; Mechanic: Resurrection; Notes: Was primarily a writer from 1988 to 2002, with his most notable work being a Covert-One book written with the ideas of Robert Ludlum, the creator of Jason Bourne, in mind. This is his first writing credit of any kind in nearly 15 years.)

Tony Mosher (screenplay) – (BMT: Mechanic: Resurrection; Notes: There is very little about this guy, although you can find his twitter and other information saying that he is, indeed, a screenwriter in LA. He seems to be tabbed for an upcoming project and a screenplay rewrite, but nothing major I don’t think.)

Lewis John Carlino (based upon the characters created by) – (Known For: The Mechanic; The Mechanic (2011); The Great Santini; Seconds; Resurrection; The Sailor Who Fell from Grace with the Sea; The Fox; The Brotherhood; BMT: Mechanic: Resurrection; Notes: Probably best known as the writer-director of the Oscar nominated film The Great Santini. He was himself nominated for an Oscar for Adapted Screenplay for I Never Promised You a Rose Garden (1978). A veteran of the stage it would seem that was his preferred medium more recently, although I have to assume his is retired since he is in his eighties.)

Rachel Long and Brian Pittman (screenplay) – (BMT: Mechanic: Resurrection; Stranded; Notes: Young screenwriters who just had their new script The Civilian bought by Millenium in the hopes to turn it into a “franchise … in the vein of The Bourne Identity” which makes sense. This is one of the projects listed for Tony Mosher above as well. The connections to spy movies and Bourne in particular in this writing team is very very interesting to me.)

Actors – Jason Statham – (Known For: The Mechanic; Spy; Fast & Furious 7; Snatch; Furious 6; Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels; The Transporter; The Expendables; The Italian Job; The Expendables 2; Transporter 2; The Bank Job; Collateral; Death Race; Homefront; Crank; Hummingbird; Parker; Crank: High Voltage; Safe; Blitz; Gnomeo & Juliet; Cellular; BMT: In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (BMT); Ghosts of Mars (BMT); The Pink Panther; Wild Card; The One; The Expendables 3 (BMT); Transporter 3; 13; War; Turn It Up; Killer Elite; Revolver; Mechanic: Resurrection; Notes:  A martial artist and accomplished diver Statham was discovered by Guy Ritchie while sports modelling. He is well known for a somewhat tongue in cheek approach to action bordering on comedy in places. Having a bit of a moment with Furious 7 and Spy.)

Jessica Alba – (Known For: Sin City; Sin City: A Dame to Kill For; Machete; Stretch; Never Been Kissed; The Killer Inside Me; A.C.O.D.; BMT: The Love Guru (BMT); Spy Kids: All the Time in the World in 4D; Honey; The Ten; Little Fockers; The Eye; Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer; Good Luck Chuck (BMT); Fantastic Four; Machete Kills (BMT); Valentine’s Day (BMT); Barely Lethal; Into the Blue; Escape from Planet Earth (BMT); Razzie Notes:  Won the Razzie Award in 2011 for Worst Supporting Actress for The Killer Inside Me, Little Fockers, Machete, and Valentine’s Day; Nominated for the Razzie Award in 2009 for Worst Actress for The Eye, and The Love Guru; in 2008 for Awake, Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer, and Good Luck Chuck; and in 2006 for Fantastic Four, and Into the Blue; Nominated for the Razzie Award in 2008 for Worst Screen Couple for Awake, Good Luck Chuck, and Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer; Notes: Somewhat of a BMT superstar. She is very involved with charity and occasionally has gotten into some controversy because of it (particularly in animal rights). Not much else to say really, her previous turn in Good Luck Chuck wasn’t a good look for her and I don’t think this movie is going to help much.)

Also stars Tommy Lee Jones – (Who I think we’ve never seen in a BMT film? Shocking)

Budget/Gross – $40 million / N/A (N/A)

(This is almost guaranteed to be a massive box office flop. No way it touches $40 million. But I guess blowing up boats and helicopters costs a bunch? Hopefully I see every penny of that $40 million on screen, that is at least usually fun.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 23% (7/31): No consensus yet.

(I’m going to make a consensus: This movie literally makes you dumber. Bam. I am shocked it has seven good reviews, but I guess when you set the bar at “Does Jason Statham punch someone in the face and have a British accent? Yes? Two and a half out of four! Good for what it is!” I can kind of see how it ends up like that.)

Poster – Sklog-chanic Resurrection (F) 

mechanic_resurrection

(I really hate this poster. This is version one. There is a version two which is in the vein of the second version poster of the 2011 Mechanic which is in turn so inferior to the primary poster that it is laughable. Basically the second poster for the film is better in that it improves on the brown-ish banality of the 2011 poster, but that 2011 primary poster is so good that it makes me angry. In this one … the weird windowed nonsense, the kind of skewness of the entire thing, Statham looks weird in the poster, it tells you nothing about the film (except that there are babes, guns, and old man Tommy Lee Jones). Boo.)

Tagline(s) – Four continents. Three kills… Or the love of his life is dead. (D)

They hired him. They betrayed him. They’ll pay. (B-)

(The first one is like a Statham film, first two acts are great, but it drops the ball in the last third (boom, I don’t know if that is even true, I just thought I was so goddamned clever I had to throw it out there). But seriously, the last bit makes it too long and doesn’t carry over the theme. Four continents, three kills, two lovers, one mechanic, something like that maybe. The second is the same, but much better. The hired him, they betrayed him, they [blank] him, would have worked, although nothing comes to mind at the moment. Adequate though. I can see why they went with the first though, definitely tells you more and gets you jazzed up for the movie. The second is kind of blah in the end.)

Keyword(s) – hitman; Top Ten by BMeTric: 78.4 The Avengers (1998); 70.0 Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li (2009); 66.0 Kangaroo Jack (2003); 62.8 Abduction (I) (2011); 60.1 Vampire in Brooklyn (1995); 58.8 The Crow: City of Angels (1996); 57.9 Tekken (2010); 57.3 Daredevil (2003); 52.8 Jupiter Ascending (2015); 52.7 Alex Cross (2012);

(BTW 132 films have the keyword “hitman” and a BMeTric of 20+! That is incredible. I’m willing to bet we are doing pretty well with those. I’m not sure Tekken is a real movie, but it does often come up on lists like this. I do not anticipate this movie even getting close to this list. Like … 30 tops I think, it is practically out of theaters in the UK already.)

Notes – Borrows heavily from the plot of Killer Elite (2011) wherein Statham’s character must complete 3 elaborate assassinations and make them look like accidents. (Or so this random IMDb user claims)

This will be Dennis Gansel’s first film not to star Max Riemelt in 14 years. (Makes a bit of sense. He seems like a young upcoming German director so I would assume he would work with young upcoming German actors a lot)

Jason Statham and John Cenatiempo both starred in Fast & Furious 7 (2015). (Ha! “Starring” in Furious 7 I guess means going uncredited as “Korpi”. Cenatiempo appears to be a big stunt guy, so that’s cool)

This will be Michelle Yeoh’s second action movie in 2016. The first is Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon: Sword of Destiny (2016).

John Cenatiempo has appeared in 2 films with Statham. The first was in Safe (2012) as the guy he stabs with a fork at the bar. (3 films including Furious 7 no? Jesus Christ, get your shit together random IMDb user)

The final line delivered by Tommy Lee Jones’s character in which he say “Bang! You’re dead” to the security cam footage is the same line used in Arthur Bishop’s (played by Charles Bronson) final letter to his apprentice Steve McKenna (played by Jan-Michael Vincent).