Based on a Book – Bad Movie Twins

Killer Elite Preview

Jamie and Patrick sit and watch Citizen Kane. Tears pour down their faces. It’s beautiful. “It’s Citizen Kane by a length!” The announcer calls as the horse crosses the finish line. The mayor pounds them on the shoulder, “She’s a real classic. These horses are so fresh. We’re doing boffo business!” Patrick wipes the tears from his face. Indeed, what they have accomplished is boffo, but even he can admit that they really should stop fooling around. While it seemed important to establish themselves in their new town, this whole racetrack business is really more of a Bad Movie Twins thing. He turns to Jamie to tell him to get the DVD player warmed up for some CK action, but he’s annoyed to find him talking once again with Jamie, the cowgirl they have been using to corral the horses that are a little too fresh. “Hey Patrick,” Jamie (the cowgirl) says, “me and Jamie were talking about catching a movie. I think it’s called Big Ass Crane. About a sentient crane that threatens Houston.” Patrick scowls, skeptical about how good BAC could possibly be. “I really want you to come, too,” Jamie (the cowgirl) says, placing her hand on Patrick’s. Patrick is startled (he’s a happily married man with 6 children!) and looks down at his Good Movie Rulez. Rule #5 – Love Triangle. “Uhhhh, no,” Patrick says quickly, “Why don’t you go back to the house and watch Citizen Kane together?” He adds helpfully. The Jamie’s nod, warming to the idea. “More like Citizen Crane, right?” Jamie (not the cowgirl) says, playfully. Patrick breathes a sigh of a relief and changes Rule #5 to Love Story. “Yeah that’s elite,” the mayor says looking over his shoulder. “It’s not elite,” Patrick says mockingly before putting on his sunglasses. “It’s killer.” That’s right! Not the best segue into a movie about ye olde assassins, but it’ll have to do. I feel like in my head I conflated this film with Righteous Kill. I was fully expecting this to be about police officers or something. But it’s not… it’s about something totally different. Let’s go!

Killer Elite (2011) – BMeTric: 21.7; Notability: 40

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 32.4%; Notability: top 14.8%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 25.0%; Higher BMeT: Jack and Jill, The Human Centipede 2 (Full Sequence), Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance, Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World, Shark Night, Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked, Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son, Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star, The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1, The Roommate, The Darkest Hour, Hellraiser: Revelations, Conan the Barbarian, Abduction, I Don’t Know How She Does It, Hoodwinked Too! Hood vs. Evil, Zookeeper, Apollo 18, Twixt, The Dilemma, and 61 more; Higher Notability: Transformers: Dark of the Moon, Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides, Green Lantern, The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1, Hop, Cars 2, The Smurfs, Your Highness, New Year’s Eve, Red Riding Hood, Jack and Jill, Battle Los Angeles, Hoodwinked Too! Hood vs. Evil, Sucker Punch, I Am Number Four, The Hangover Part II, In Time, Johnny English Reborn, Larry Crowne, Priest, and 17 more; Lower RT: You May Not Kiss the Bride, Hellraiser: Revelations, Jack and Jill, Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star, The Roommate, A Little Bit of Heaven, Hick, Abduction, Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son, Dream House, New Year’s Eve, Trespass, Honey 2, Red Riding Hood, Creature, Season of the Witch, Hoodwinked Too! Hood vs. Evil, Atlas Shrugged: Part I, The Darkest Hour, Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked, and 40 more; Notes: That is a shockingly low Notability now that I look at it. A film like this just feels like it should have 70 well known people in it.

RogerEbert.com – 3.0 stars – “Killer Elite” is inspired by a story that ingeniously finds a way to explain why two teams of ex-SAS men would want to kill each other. That doubles the possibilities for casting, and here Jason Statham and Clive Owen, who in fact have no reason to dislike each other, are engaged in a deadly game of international murder. Robert De Niro plays a hostage taken by a sheik of Oman, who uses him to settle a score neither team has any reason to care about, so basically what’s at stake is their professionalism.

(Wow. What a zag by Roger. Although this would have been prime time “good for what it is” Ebert, so actually it makes a lot of sense.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Q8VIPJAox8/

(I remember this trailer so distinctly. Specifically the flip with the chair onto Clive Owen. Incredible use of Rock you like a Hurricane as well.)

Directors – Gary McKendry – ( BMT: Killer Elite; Notes: How bizarre. He directed an Oscar nominated short, then this, then one more short and then … literally nothing else? That seems insane. He one effort was a Statham, Owen, De Niro picture?)

Writers – Matt Sherring – ( BMT: Killer Elite; Notes: And this guy just has a single other thing in development maybe? How did this thing get made?)

Ranulph Fiennes – (BMT: Killer Elite; Notes: He wrote the book … this movie is based on a book. And this guy is nuts. He was a famous adventurer, and tried to blow up the Dr. Doolittle set as some sort of protest.)

Actors – Jason Statham – ( Known For: Operation Fortune: Ruse de guerre; F9: The Fast Saga; Wrath of Man; Snatch; Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels; Furious 7; The Italian Job; The Meg; Collateral; The Fate of the Furious; Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw; Furious 6; The Expendables; Spy; The Bank Job; The Expendables 2; The Transporter; Death Race; Homefront; Wild Card; Future BMT: The Pink Panther; War; The One; Turn It Up; BMT: The Expendables 3; Crank; Killer Elite; Crank: High Voltage; Mechanic: Resurrection; In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale; Ghosts of Mars; Notes: Was on the National British Diving Team. One funny story I remember from a podcast I listened to in like 2011 was that a comedian’s ex-girlfriend was dating Statham and he wanted so badly to hate him, but it turned out Statham is hilarious, really nice, and extraordinarily handsome, so he actually just ended up really enjoying the few times he’s met him.)

Clive Owen – ( Known For: Sin City; Closer; Inside Man; Children of Men; The Bourne Identity; The Informer; Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets; Gosford Park; Trust; Anon; Shoot ‘Em Up; Croupier; Last Knights; Ophelia; Close My Eyes; The International; Duplicity; Blood Ties; The Song of Names; Bent; Future BMT: King Arthur; Gemini Man; The Pink Panther; Derailed; Elizabeth: The Golden Age; Beyond Borders; The Rich Man’s Wife; BMT: Killer Elite; Notes: Nominated for an Oscar for Closer (remember that guy?). He ended up almost being as famous for starring in The Knick than anything else. Was Bill Clinton in American Crime Story?)

Robert De Niro – ( Known For: Joker; Goodfellas; Heat; Taxi Driver; The Godfather Part II; American Hustle; The Irishman; Cape Fear; Once Upon a Time in America; Casino; Sleepers; Silver Linings Playbook; Stardust; The Deer Hunter; A Bronx Tale; Limitless; The Untouchables; Raging Bull; Jackie Brown; Ronin; Future BMT: The Family; Great Expectations; Shark Tale; Meet the Fockers; The War with Grandpa; Little Fockers; Arthur and the Invisibles; Hide and Seek; Showtime; Analyze That; The Fan; 15 Minutes; The Comedian; Stanley & Iris; BMT: Amsterdam; Dirty Grandpa; Killer Elite; Righteous Kill; The Big Wedding; New Year’s Eve; Grudge Match; Godsend; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Actor for Dirty Grandpa in 2017; and Nominee for Worst Screen Couple in 2003 for I Spy, Showtime, and The Adventures of Pluto Nash; Notes: Y’all know De Niro. Six time nominated for Best Actor (won twice for Raging Bull and Godfather Part II). And he’s still working. Mostly it is in comedies as a mea grandpa or something, but he still will show up in things like The Irishman and Amsterdam.)

Budget/Gross – $70,000,000 / Domestic: $25,124,966 (Worldwide: $57,084,522)

(Oooooof there it is. Why would you give $70 million to an unproven director and writer. Wait … what year was this made? See 2011 it feels like they were already not funding dumb stuff, so how did this slip through?)

Rotten Tomatoes – 28% (35/127): A rote, utterly disposable Jason Statham vehicle that just happens to have Clive Owen and Robert De Niro in it.

(I mean … slammed? Now it makes a bit more sense. So they thought they could elevate it, but it just ended up wallowing in the mud with Statham. No offense to him, they said it not me.)

Reviewer Highlight: Clumsily directed by Gary McKendry and poorly written by Matt Sherring, rookies both, the convoluted movie collapses under the weight of its own cliches. – Peter Howell, Toronto Star

Poster – Killer Snore-lite

(I like the orange, but that’s about it. Old school framing and the scene itself is just a bunch of people standing around in black and white. Very middle of the road. C.)

Tagline(s) – May the Best Man Live (A, but sarcastic. Like a cheeky A.)

(Wooooow. That is a punch in the gut right there. May the best man live. It’s so close to a self parody that maybe it’s perfect. Maybe it’s the best tagline of all time and you will never know it.)

Keyword(s) – good

Top 10: Good Will Hunting (1997), The Hunger Games: Catching Fire (2013), Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (2005), The Great Gatsby (2013), Hot Fuzz (2007), Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (1964), Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (2016), The Wizard of Oz (1939), Man on Fire (2004), The Nice Guys (2016)

Future BMT: 67.1 Phat Girlz (2006), 63.2 Hot Tub Time Machine 2 (2015), 60.6 Like a Boss (2020), 51.8 Playing with Fire (2019), 51.6 The Boss (2016), 51.1 Johnny Be Good (1988), 50.7 The Hot Chick (2002), 50.0 Arthur 2: On the Rocks (1988), 48.4 Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer (2007), 47.2 Barney’s Great Adventure (1998), 45.1 Fly Me to the Moon 3D (2007), 44.9 Fantastic Four (2005), 40.4 No Good Deed (2014), 39.5 Good Burger (1997), 37.2 The Great Wall (2016), 37.0 Stroker Ace (1983), 36.3 Milk Money (1994), 34.7 Mad Money (2008), 34.3 Mo’ Money (1992), 32.1 Good Deeds (2012)

BMT: Epic Movie (2007), Fantastic Four (2015), The Ridiculous 6 (2015), Cool as Ice (1991), Cool World (1992), A Good Day to Die Hard (2013), Hot Pursuit (2015), The Fly II (1989), One for the Money (2012), Fire Down Below (1997), Air Bud: Golden Receiver (1998), Fire Birds (1990), Good Luck Chuck (2007), Be Cool (2005), Chill Factor (1999), Money Train (1995), Hot to Trot (1988), The Golden Child (1986), Righteous Kill (2008), Sweet Home Alabama (2002), The Wizard (1989), Fresh Horses (1988), Killer Elite (2011), Hunter Killer (2018)

Best Options (Amsterdam): 45.1 Fly Me to the Moon 3D (2007), 21.7 Killer Elite (2011), 12.0 Great Expectations (1998)

(Yup, there weren’t much options. Great Expectations had a slightly better showing maybe to continue the streak, but we couldn’t pass up Killer Elite.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 6) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Jason Statham is No. 1 billed in Killer Elite and No. 1 billed in In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale, which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (1 + 1) + (3 + 1) = 6. There is no shorter path at the moment.

Notes – Sir Ranulph Fiennes, an English adventurer, polar explorer and former S.A.S. man is the author of The Feather Men, the novel on which this film is adapted. Although he has often claimed the novel was a true story, the families of the real dead S.A.S. men named in the novel who died on S.A.S. exercises, and the S.A.S. themselves publicly attacked it as sick exploitation and complete fiction. The S.A.S. even went on the record to disown both Fiennes and the book, with Lieutenant Colonel Ian Smith telling the Daily Mail “It was utter bullshit”, the figment of a fertile imagination. What was really upsetting, was that it was making a story out of a tragedy.” Maggie Denaro, the widow of one of the dead S.A.S. men said of Fiennes, “It’s time he grew up. He’s made his money out of the book. He should come clean. When the book came out saying Mike had been murdered, we knew it wasn’t true. But that didn’t stop our children from being upset when other people believed it.” Although Fiennes claims he sent a manuscript of the book to the S.A.S. and the families of the dead men, who gave their approval, they have all unequivocally denied his claim.

The controversy over whether the story is true or not has as many twists as the plot itself. As mentioned above, all the families and the S.A.S. denied they had been consulted or involved in any way with the book. However, an article the Daily Mail Online was forced to include an amendment when the widow of Major Mike Kealy admitted she had read and approved of every page that related to her husband.

Robert De Niro is the only American born actor in this film.

In the scene where the SAS are going on training in the Brecon Beacons, they are seen wearing the incorrect uniform for the period. In 1981 the British Army wore 1968 pattern Smock, Combat but here they are seen wearing P84 smocks which did not start being rolled out until circa 1985.

Firestarter (2022) Preview

“Wow, that was a really great memory,” Jamie says, wiping tears from his face. “It’s true, we had so many very good memories, but that was the most emotional and exciting of all of them,” Patrick agrees. They both wish other people could hear about the very good adventure they remembered, but alas, there is no one around to share the memory with. Suddenly they hear a familiar voice, “Hey, guys, do you need someone to share that very good memory with?” They whirl around and are stunned to see Kyle. “Kyle!” they exclaim in glee. “We’re so glad you’re here,” Patricks says, while Jamie nods his head vigorously, “there was a moment where we were concerned we were actually bad, but it turned out to be a false alarm.” They go to hug Kyle but he steps back, a look of concern on his face. “No really, share the good memory because the only thing I’ve seen from you lately is pretty gosh darn bad.” At that he pulls out his phone and shows them a viral meme of their Dino World temper tantrum. “They’re calling you the Tantrum Twins,” Kyle says solemnly. Jamie and Patrick hang their heads in shame, but also make a mental note to trademark Tantrum Twins, which is very marketable. “I don’t know what’s happening, Kyle,” Patrick admits, “It’s like we’re lost without our BMT true north. Being good is hard.” Kyle ponders this for a moment. “Well what made being bad so easy?” he poses. Jamie and Patrick look at each other, inspiration growing bright on their faces. “The rules! Rulez are coolz!” they say excitedly. “We just have to do the same thing, but for… good stuff… Good Movie Twins.” Patrick says, eyes gleaming. “Good Movie Twins,” Jamie whispers, “that’s fire.” That’s right! We are transitioning to a new year of BMT with “good” films. Oh ho, don’t get it twisted, these are still BMT films, just ones where the title suggests they could be good. We start off with the Firestarter twins, Firestarter (1984) and this year’s FIrestarter (2022). Both are not “fire” as the name suggests. Let’s go!

Firestarter (2022) – BMeTric: 63.9; Notability: 22

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 1.6%; Notability: top 7.6%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 2.8%; Higher BMeT: Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Bubble, Jeepers Creepers: Reborn, Firestarter; Higher Notability: Black Adam, Jurassic World: Dominion, Pinocchio, Amsterdam, Morbius, Disenchanted, The School for Good and Evil, The Bubble, Moonfall, Deep Water, The Man from Toronto, Spiderhead, Don’t Worry Darling, The 355, Where the Crawdads Sing, Blacklight, Slumberland, Samaritan, Texas Chainsaw Massacre; Lower RT: After Ever Happy, Jeepers Creepers: Reborn, Me Time, Poker Face, Blacklight; Notes: Yup, a huge BMeTric for the year. And will probably stay up there, it seems to be genuinely reviled.

RogerEbert.com – 1.0 stars – The Stephen King novel on which the new version of “Firestarter” is based was published in 1980 during a phase of the horror master’s career in which the writer seemed fascinated by kids with inexplicable powers. Charlie, played by Drew Barrymore in the 1984 film and Ryan Kiera Armstrong in this one, is cut from similar cloth as Danny from “The Shining” and the title character in “Carrie”—people who discover they’re not like normal kids. There’s nothing scarier than an out-of-control child. Trust me. King’s work would inspire generations—Elle in “Stranger Things” owes a great deal to Charlie, for one—which made a remake of this 40-year-old tale of pyromania inevitable. And yet, once again, inevitability doesn’t equal creativity. So often remakes feel more like contractual requirements than artistic explorations or updates of timeless themes. There is no better recent example of this than “Firestarter,” a film that goes through the motions with such apathetic predictability and pure cinematic laziness that you may want to set whatever device you’re watching it on ablaze.

(Uh oh, that sounds perhaps just a tad bit boring instead of horrible, no good, nonsense. Which I admit, is all I want really.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3v_8ATW_3yI/

(An alternate ending!? And holy shit, they put “liar, liar, pants on fire” in the trailer! Just for that I’m giving this trailer an F. For shame. For shame.)

Directors – Keith Thomas – ( Known For: The Vigil; BMT: Firestarter; Notes: Has a degree in Religious Education which is interesting. Otherwise really nothing on him. He directed an episode of Guillermo del Toro’s Cabinet of Curiosities.)

Writers – Stephen King – ( Known For: The Shawshank Redemption; Stand by Me; Mr. Harrigan’s Phone; The Green Mile; The Shining; It; The Mist; Doctor Sleep; Misery; Gerald’s Game; Carrie; It Chapter Two; The Running Man; Christine; Carrie; 1408; 1922; Pet Sematary; Dolores Claiborne; Cujo; Future BMT: The Dark Tower; Children of the Corn; Sleepwalkers; Creepshow 2; Thinner; Needful Things; The Mangler; Children of the Corn II: The Final Sacrifice; BMT: Firestarter (2022); Firestarter (1984); Dreamcatcher; The Lawnmower Man; Maximum Overdrive; The Rage: Carrie 2; Graveyard Shift; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Director for Maximum Overdrive in 1987; Notes: Ah a classic. I do need to read more of his books and I wish I could have read this prior to watching the films. He somewhat notably almost died in a car accident which completely changed how he approached writing (and life) if I recall and ended up with him starring in Dark Tower ultimately in a bizarre way. Something like that, I haven’t read those either.)

Scott Teems – ( Known For: The Quarry; That Evening Sun; Future BMT: Halloween Kills; BMT: Firestarter; Notes: Seems like a horror writer through and through, also has a credit in Halloween Kills.)

Actors – Zac Efron – ( Known For: The Greatest Showman; The Greatest Beer Run Ever; Hairspray; 17 Again; Neighbors; The Disaster Artist; Gold; Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil and Vile; The Beach Bum; The Lorax; Neighbors 2: Sorority Rising; The Paperboy; Scoob!; High School Musical 3: Senior Year; Liberal Arts; Parkland; Me and Orson Welles; At Any Price; The Derby Stallion; Melinda’s World; Future BMT: That Awkward Moment; Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates; The Lucky One; Charlie St. Cloud; We Are Your Friends; BMT: Baywatch; New Year’s Eve; Firestarter; Dirty Grandpa; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Actor for Baywatch in 2018; Notes: A Disney kid with High School Musical, which made him famous. I like him, although I can’t say his track record in recent years has been spotless. Very BMT-ful.)

Ryan Kiera Armstrong – ( Known For: Black Widow; The Tomorrow War; It Chapter Two; The Art of Racing in the Rain; The Glorias; BMT: Firestarter; Notes: Daughter of Dean Armstrong who is a legit actor. Was in Anne With An E.)

Sydney Lemmon – ( Known For: Tár; Velvet Buzzsaw; BMT: Firestarter; Notes: Has done mostly television work, although she was in Tar this year. The granddaughter of Jack Lemmon.)

Budget/Gross – $12 million / Domestic: $9,589,250 (Worldwide: $14,889,250)

(Ehhhhh, actually not as bad as you would expect because it was so cheap. Additionally, given it was on Netflix and is now I Prime I assume they are partially making their money optioning it.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 10% (16/157): There was plenty of room to improve on the original, but Firestarter trips over that low bar and tumbles toward the bottom of the long list of Stephen King adaptations.

(Juuuuuust a shade over 10% which is too bad. I usually don’t go for smaller publications for the highlight, but this was decently funny.)

Reviewer Highlight: At least this one is mercifully short. – Radheyan Simonpillai, NOW Toronto

Poster – Firesklogger: It’s Fire

(Is it bad just cause it’s the same as the original? I say no. Still works. Orange color scheme pops and the font is delightfully different. Eye catching and gives you a taste. All around pretty good. I think the only suggestion would be to go a little more artistic. Newer posters can have a bit of an Instagram sheen sometimes. Going old school would have worked nicely. A-.)

Tagline(s) – None

(Booooo. F. Although I can also imagine if they did something dumb like “She’s fire” I would have been forced to give it an F-, so a win from that angle.)

Keyword(s) – year 2022

Top 10: The Batman (2022), The Kashmir Files (2022), Top Gun: Maverick (2022), Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness (2022), Thor: Love and Thunder (2022), Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022), Bullet Train (2022), Uncharted (2022), The Adam Project (2022), The Northman (2022)

Future BMT: 65.8 Jeepers Creepers: Reborn (2022), 52.1 Radhe Shyam (2022), 50.5 Umma (2022), 45.9 The 355 (2022), 19.2 Black Adam (2022)

BMT: Firestarter (2022), Moonfall (2022), Morbius (2022), Blacklight (2022), The Invitation (2022), After Ever Happy (2022), Jurassic World: Dominion (2022), Prey for the Devil (2022), Memory (2022), The King’s Daughter (2022), Amsterdam (2022), Don’t Worry Darling (2022), Where the Crawdads Sing (2022)

Best Options (good): 63.9 Firestarter (2022)

(A new cycle! We won’t be able to see that graph until next week though. This does complete our 2022 year. We watched 13 films, which is pretty good I think, although also the absolute minimum we can watch in a year. But better than last year, and puts us on a good footing for the future. I think Umma maybe, and Black Adam definitely are the only two we really missed out on.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 13) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Zac Efron is No. 2 billed in Firestarter and No. 1 billed in Dirty Grandpa, which also stars Robert De Niro (No. 2 billed) who is in Righteous Kill (No. 1 billed) which also stars Al Pacino (No. 2 billed) who is in 88 Minutes (No. 1 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (2 + 1) + (2 + 1) + (2 + 1) + (3 + 1) = 13. There is no shorter path at the moment.

Notes – John Carpenter, who did the music for this film, was set to direct the original Firestarter (1984), but was replaced when his previous film, The Thing (1982), failed at the box office. He would instead direct another Stephen King adaptation, Christine (1983).

Final film for Executive Producer Martha De Laurentiis, who died December 4, 2021. Her first film as a producer was the original Firestarter (1984), and she would go on to produce several other Stephen King adaptations with her husband, Dino De Laurentiis.

In the back alley when Charlie sees a stray cat there is a dumpster for the waste removal company “Joyland” referencing Stephen King’s book of the same name.

The beer that Irv offers Andy is labeled ‘Ayuh’, a northeastern phrase akin to ‘yep’ that is heavily present in the writing of Stephen King.

Ryan Kiera Armstrong previously appeared in It Chapter Two (2019), another Stephen King adaption.

Firestarter (1984) Preview

Firestarter (1984) – BMeTric: 30.8; Notability: 34

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 6.4%; Notability: top 7.2%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 15.4%; Higher BMeT: Supergirl, Rhinestone, The Hills Have Eyes Part II, Bolero, Cannonball Run II, Children of the Corn, Missing in Action, Sheena, City Heat, C.H.U.D., Conan the Destroyer, Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo, The Ice Pirates, Exterminator 2, Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter, Protocol; Higher Notability: Cannonball Run II, Supergirl, City Heat, Protocol, Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo, The River, Unfaithfully Yours, Conan the Destroyer, The Woman in Red, Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter, Firstborn, Sheena, Rhinestone, American Dreamer, The Ice Pirates, C.H.U.D., Reckless, Exterminator 2; Lower RT: Bolero, Reckless, Thief of Hearts, The Hills Have Eyes Part II, Until September, Exterminator 2, Crackers, Blame It on Rio, Supergirl, Cannonball Run II, Windy City, The Ice Pirates, American Dreamer, Rhinestone, Missing in Action, Tank, Mutant, Purple Hearts, Sheena, City Heat, and 13 more; Notes: I had to look up Protocol, the film with just a slightly higher BMeTric … I had never heard of it. It looks crazy.

RogerEbert.com – 2.0 stars – “Firestarter” contains a little girl who can start fires with her mind; her father, whose own ESP causes him to have brain hemorrhages; an Indian child molester who is a CIA killer; a black scientist; a kindly farmer; a government bureaucrat; and a brilliant scientist whose experiments kill 75 percent of his subjects but leave the others with powers beyond the imagination of mortal man. The most astonishing thing in the movie, however, is how boring it is.

(Just to point out, I don’t think the killer is a child molester, although I could be wrong because it 100% reads that way. But at the end he suggests his odd quirks are similar to Renfield maybe? He wants to look into her eyes and kill her when she is at her happiest moment in order to, in his words, absorb her energy. It seems to be like he is fascinated by this girl’s supernatural powers and in his odd way hopes to take that power to the afterlife with him? Reading the wiki I think my reading is correct. Interesting that perhaps Ebert himself got that wrong, although as I said, he definitely reads like he is in love with Charlie.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DfcuksWVRt8/

(Incredible that they showed a good chunk of the climactic scene in the trailer. These days I feel like they wouldn’t dare show off that big set piece for free. Not a chance.)

Directors – Mark L. Lester – ( Known For: Commando; Bobbie Jo and the Outlaw; Class of 1984; Stealing Candy; Showdown in Little Tokyo; Class of 1999; Poseidon Rex; Truck Stop Women; Roller Boogie; White Rush; Night of the Running Man; Pterodactyl; Betrayal; Extreme Justice; The Ex; Hitman’s Run; Steel Arena; Blowback; Stunts; Misbegotten; Future BMT: Armed and Dangerous; BMT: Firestarter; Notes: A big name producer and director, he’s somewhat slipped into semi-obscurity now as the end of his career was mostly producing and direction low-budget garbage.)

Writers – Stephen King – ( Known For: The Shawshank Redemption; Stand by Me; Mr. Harrigan’s Phone; The Green Mile; The Shining; It; The Mist; Doctor Sleep; Misery; Gerald’s Game; Carrie; It Chapter Two; The Running Man; Christine; Carrie; 1408; 1922; Pet Sematary; Dolores Claiborne; Cujo; Future BMT: The Dark Tower; Children of the Corn; Sleepwalkers; Creepshow 2; Thinner; Needful Things; The Mangler; Children of the Corn II: The Final Sacrifice; BMT: Firestarter (2022); Firestarter (1984); Dreamcatcher; The Lawnmower Man; Maximum Overdrive; The Rage: Carrie 2; Graveyard Shift; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Director for Maximum Overdrive in 1987; Notes: Y’all know Stephen King. He’s won the Bram Stoker Award 15 times, and the Hugo Award one for Danse Macabre, which is a non-fiction book about the art of and influences on horror writing.)

Stanley Mann – ( Known For: Eye of the Needle; Damien: Omen II; The Collector; Meteor; Woman of Straw; Theater of Blood; The Mouse That Roared; Circle of Iron; Another Time, Another Place; Breaking Point; A High Wind in Jamaica; Rapture; Sky Riders; The Strange Affair; The Mark; Hanna’s War; The Naked Runner; Russian Roulette; Up from the Beach; Future BMT: Tai-Pan; BMT: Conan the Destroyer; Firestarter; Notes: Nominated for an Oscar for The Collector. He’s from Canada and died in 2016.)

Actors – Drew Barrymore – ( Known For: Scream; Scream; Donnie Darko; A Castle for Christmas; E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial; 50 First Dates; The Wedding Singer; Ever After: A Cinderella Story; He’s Just Not That Into You; Charlie’s Angels; Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle; Never Been Kissed; Titan A.E.; Poison Ivy; Confessions of a Dangerous Mind; Altered States; Music and Lyrics; Riding in Cars with Boys; Whip It; Everybody’s Fine; Future BMT: Bad Girls; Duplex; Mad Love; Lucky You; Home Fries; BMT: Batman Forever; Blended; Firestarter; Freddy Got Fingered; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Actress in 2004 for Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle, and Duplex; and in 2015 for Blended; and Nominee for Worst Supporting Actress for Freddy Got Fingered in 2002; Notes: She had an amazing career as both a bona fide child actor and a bona fide adult movie star. The granddaughter of John Barrymore. Hosts the Drew Barrymore Show which has filmed 273 episodes.)

David Keith – ( Known For: An Officer and a Gentleman; Daredevil; U-571; Men of Honor; The Indian in the Cupboard; The Rose; The Two Jakes; Gold Diggers: The Secret of Bear Mountain; The Great Santini; Brubaker; Raw Justice; Christian Mingle; A Family Thing; White of the Eye; Deadly Sins; Back Roads; Independence Day; The Further Adventures of Tennessee Buck; Take This Job and Shove It; All Saints; Future BMT: Raise Your Voice; Major League II; Heartbreak Hotel; The Lords of Discipline; BMT: Firestarter; Behind Enemy Lines; Notes: Looks like he does small time television films these days. He should not be confused with Kieth David.)

Freddie Jones – ( Known For: Dune; The Elephant Man; Wild at Heart; Young Sherlock Holmes; The Black Cauldron; The NeverEnding Story III; Zulu Dawn; Old Dracula; Erik the Viking; Royal Deceit; Far from the Madding Crowd; Ladies in Lavender; Juggernaut; The Satanic Rites of Dracula; Kidnapped; The Ship Sails On; Frankenstein Must Be Destroyed; Consuming Passions; The Man Who Haunted Himself; In the Devil’s Garden; Future BMT: Krull; Firefox; BMT: Firestarter; Notes: He was Thufir Hawat in Dune. Otherwise you’d probably only know him if you are into British television. That’s right, he was definitely in Midsomer Murders.)

Budget/Gross – $12 million / Domestic: $17,080,167 (Worldwide: $17,080,167)

(My god, they had the same budget! That is hilarious. Obviously, $12 million in ‘84 was something else entirely compared to now, but still. Also amazing that the ‘84 film beat the 2022 in total worldwide gross by quite a bit.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 38% (12/32): Firestarter’s concept hews too closely to other known Stephen King adaptations, though it’s got nice special effects (including scenery-chewing George C. Scott).

(Yeah out of everything in the film I think George C. Scott probably is my favorite? He’s just such an odd and specifically quirky character.)

Reviewer Highlight: Even before it begins laying waste to the reputations of cast members, “Firestarter” is promptly exposed as a derivative embarrassment of a conception. – Gary Arnold, Washington Post

Poster – Firesklogger

(Look at all those words. The whole thing still pops, but somehow they actually did make a much better poster for the new one. Removed the words, added some flair to the font, and made everything a little more professional. I’ll be kind for this one though, cause it still looks kind of cool. C+)

Tagline(s) – She has the power . . . an evil destructive force. (C-)

If you get on her bad side…YOU’RE TOAST. (C+)

Will she have the power… to survive? (B-)

Charlie McGee is a happy, healthy eight-year-old little girl. Normal in every way but one. She has the power to set objects afire with just one glance. It’s a power she does not want. It’s a power she can’t control. And, each night, Charlie prays to be just like every other child. But there are those who will do everything in their power to find her… or destroy her. (D-)

(Lot’s to parse because of all the words on the poster. The first is the worst of the short ones. Just not very clever, but not offensive. The second adds a little spice, but it’s pretty laughably lame. The third is the best. A play on expectations. It’s also short and gives you a sense of what’s going on. I actually didn’t even read the last one because life is too short. It only doesn’t get an F because it’s better than no tagline, but barely.)

Keyword(s) – Stephen King

Top 10: The Shawshank Redemption (1994), The Green Mile (1999), The Shining (1980), It (2017), Stand by Me (1986), The Mist (2007), 1408 (2007), It Chapter Two (2019), Misery (1990), Secret Window (2004)

Future BMT: 60.5 The Mangler (1995), 59.2 Children of the Corn II: The Final Sacrifice (1992), 50.2 Sleepwalkers (1992), 47.8 The Dark Tower (2017), 45.4 Children of the Corn (1984), 36.5 Thinner (1996), 29.7 Creepshow 2 (1987), 24.0 Needful Things (1993)

BMT: The Rage: Carrie 2 (1999), Graveyard Shift (1990), Dreamcatcher (2003), The Lawnmower Man (1992), Maximum Overdrive (1986), Firestarter (1984), Firestarter (2022)

(I decided to pick out a good one for this with Stephen King. My god are there a lot of films of his left! We’ve seen seven and eight to go. Halfway.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 13) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Drew Barrymore is No. 1 billed in Firestarter and No. 2 billed in Blended, which also stars Adam Sandler (No. 1 billed) who is in Jack and Jill (No. 1 billed) which also stars Al Pacino (No. 3 billed) who is in 88 Minutes (No. 1 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (1 + 2) + (1 + 1) + (3 + 1) + (3 + 1) = 13. If we were to watch Mad Love we can get the HoE Number down to 13.

Notes – Prophetically, a few years before she was cast in the film, six-year-old Drew Barrymore’s mother thought that Drew resembled the girl on the source novel’s paperback dust-jacket. Drew once said: “My mom had seen this book at the grocery store with a picture of a little girl on it and she said, ‘Gee, this looks kinda like you’. She said it was okay if I bought it, and so I did. When I read it, I came into the kitchen where my mom was making dinner and said: ‘I’m the Firestarter. I’m Charlie McGee!’ But she didn’t know what I was talking about.”

George C. Scott wears an eye patch over his left eye during the final half hour of the film which was due to the infection caused by the contact lens used earlier in the film. The eye was not quite healed and had to wear it to complete the filming of his scenes.

In a 2010 interview, director Mark L. Lester confirmed that this was the most difficult film that he ever made. He said, “That was all practical [effects]. The fireballs you see, that’s not CGI. Back then, we actually created fireballs that could fly through the air, they were on a wire and could crash into buildings. We had people on fire that were on trampolines that had to flip through the air. It was very dangerous. All the effects were done right on the set. It was a pretty intense thing to do then.”

This film was originally going to be directed by John Carpenter and Bill Lancaster, who wrote the screenplay for The Thing (1982), even wrote a draft for this film. But, according to Carpenter, Universal executives removed both of them from the project in the wake of the box-office and critical drubbing they received for The Thing. Carpenter had reportedly talked to Darwin Joston about taking on the role of John Rainbird, which was ultimately played by George C. Scott. Thirty eight years later, Carpenter, along with son Cody Carpenter and frequent collaborator Daniel A. Davies, would be brought on to compose the score for the Firestarter (2022) remake.

Martin Sheen took over at a late stage from Burt Lancaster, who had to withdraw following heart surgery.

Producer Dino De Laurentiis paid $1 million for the film rights to the book.

Mark L. Lester said he never understood why Stephen King hated this film. He said during an interview, “I knew he hated The Shining (1980), because that movie was not his book. But in case of Firestarter, he had approved the script. He even worked on it. He was on the set and we talked about everything we were doing. He loved everything. The one thing that he especially criticized, the wind blowing through Drew Barrymore’s hair, that was his idea to begin with! At that time he practically hated every movie that was made from any of his books. Finally, Dino got so fed up with him that he said: Okay, you direct your own movie. Well, that was the absolute worst Stephen King film ever. So there you go. But he’s a great writer and I don’t want to get into a fight with him.”

Where the Crawdads Sing Preview

Jamie and Patrick stand backstage at America is Very Good. They stand awkwardly amongst the rest of the contestants. It feels like everyone is staring at them… probably because they are. It’s not every day that multiple EGOT winners show up wanting to compete on America’s third most popular talent show. The creator of the show assumed it was some elaborate joke, probably as part of a reboot of the Punk’d franchise. It took them ages to convince him that he wasn’t being Punk’d and that close personal friend Ashton Kutcher wasn’t hiding anywhere nearby. “Let’s just go out there, blow their socks off, prove to everyone we’re good now, and get out of here,” Jamie says nervously. The invitation seemed perfect when they first found it on the street, but now it’s seeming a little too good to be true. In his nervousness Jamie leans around the curtain to get a glimpse at the crowd. “Oh shit,” he mumbles and Patrick rushes over to take a look himself. “What thuuuu…” Patrick says in disbelief. There sitting at the judges table is none other than Paul Blart himself, Kevin James. What are the chances? Suddenly Kevin James, American icon, looks directly at them and mouths “I got you, Bad Movie Twins.” Jamie and Patrick are shocked and dismayed. Not only are they not going to prove to the world that they are very good, but they are about to be Punk’d on national television by Kevin James. “What are we going to do?” Jamie wails in dismay. Patrick shakes him back to his senses. “You know exactly what we’re going to do,” Patrick says, eyes narrowing, “we’re going to dance… we’re going to dance and we’re going to win and Kevin James can just stick it where the crawdads sing.” That’s right! We are watching smash box office hit Where the Crawdads Sing. Based on one of the hottest selling books of all time, the film clearly has its audience and that audience now includes us. Let’s go!

Where the Crawdads Sing (2022) – BMeTric: 7.5; Notability: 27

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 14.0%; Notability: top 5.6%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 12.7%; Higher BMeT: Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Bubble, Jeepers Creepers: Reborn, Halloween Ends, Firestarter, Moonfall, Morbius, Blacklight, Pinocchio, Me Time, Spiderhead, Deep Water, The Invitation, After Ever Happy, Jurassic World: Dominion, Senior Year, Blackout, The 355, White Elephant, Samaritan, and 15 more; Higher Notability: Black Adam, Jurassic World: Dominion, Pinocchio, Amsterdam, Morbius, Disenchanted, The School for Good and Evil, The Bubble, Moonfall, Deep Water, The Man from Toronto, Spiderhead, Don’t Worry Darling, The 355; Lower RT: After Ever Happy, Jeepers Creepers: Reborn, Me Time, Poker Face, Blacklight, Firestarter, White Elephant, Morbius, Prey for the Devil, The Last Manhunt, Blackout, The Bubble, The Man from Toronto, Senior Year, On the Line, The 355, The Invitation, Pinocchio, Memory, Jurassic World: Dominion, and 3 more; Notes: This is the one. We always do a “fairly well received by audiences” film and this is the one. Buckle up.

RogerEbert.com – 2.0 stars – The cicadas buzz and the moss drips and the sunset casts a golden shimmer on the water every single evening. But while “Where the Crawdads Sing” is rich in atmosphere, it’s sorely lacking in actual substance or suspense.

(Interesting. The trailer does look beautiful. And I also watched a few makings of docs that came on the DVD and the production seemed really well put together. Kind of sad it didn’t hit with critics at all.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hoSHYfCqgK0/

(Pretty good trailer. I’m a sucker for courtroom dramas. I didn’t really know that it was a courtroom drama now that I think about it.)

Directors – Olivia Newman – ( Known For: First Match; BMT: Where the Crawdads Sing; Notes: Man, directors’ resumes I feel like are getting weird. She directed episodes of Chicago Fire, Chicago P.D., and FBI. Just weird and wild stuff.)

Writers – Delia Owens – ( BMT: Where the Crawdads Sing; Notes: She wrote the book. There is a whole thing about a case in Zambia involving poachers and a murder and her husband and stepson. I’ll leave you to look it up yourself.)

Lucy Alibar – ( Known For: Beasts of the Southern Wild; Troop Zero; BMT: Where the Crawdads Sing; Notes: She was nominated for an Oscar for Beasts of the Southern Wild. Otherwise there isn’t much else about her online.)

Actors – Daisy Edgar-Jones – ( Known For: Fresh; Pond Life; BMT: Where the Crawdads Sing; Notes: She is British, and her father is a television executive. She’s been in a lot of television, mainly Cold Feet, Under the Banner of Heaven, and War of the Worlds.)

Taylor John Smith – ( Known For: The Outpost; Shadow in the Cloud; You Get Me; Insidious: Chapter 3; Martyrs; Some Kind of Beautiful; Almost Friends; Wolves; BMT: Where the Crawdads Sing; Blacklight; Hunter Killer; Notes: American, he’s an up and coming young film actor, although he was in Sharp Objects with Amy Adams.)

Harris Dickinson – ( Known For: Triangle of Sadness; See How They Run; The King’s Man; Beach Rats; The Souvenir: Part II; Matthias & Maxime; Postcards from London; Future BMT: Maleficent: Mistress of Evil; BMT: Where the Crawdads Sing; The Darkest Minds; Notes: Also British. He was in a bunch of films this year, with Triangle of Sadness being the most critically acclaimed.)

Budget/Gross – $24 million / Domestic: $90,230,760 (Worldwide: $140,230,760)

(That is enormous. Yeah, it is a bit weird it was so dumped on by critics because multiple people have recommended it to me as being quite good.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 34% (72/210): Daisy Edgar-Jones gives it her all, but Where the Crawdads Sing is ultimately unable to distill its source material into a tonally coherent drama.

(Hmmmmmmm, that feels like an odd consensus. A tonally coherent drama? I don’t really know what that means.)

Reviewer Highlight: Everything feels both fussy and perfunctory, and not a bit of it real. – Danny Leigh, Financial Times

Poster – Where the Sklogdads Sing

(I’m a bit confused by the poster, but I do like effort and this gets an E for effort. Font could be better, and a more cohesive theme, but overall it’s fine. C.)

Tagline(s) – Secrets are Buried Just Beneath the Surface (B)

(Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, I’m not sure this makes a whole lot of sense. Still, it does what it came to do and in a clever way. So gotta give it its due. I just need to stop reading it or I’ll realize it’s just a bunch of nonsense.)

Keyword(s) – year 2022

Future BMT: 65.8 Jeepers Creepers: Reborn (2022), 64.8 Halloween Ends (2022), 63.9 Firestarter (2022), 52.1 Radhe Shyam (2022), 50.5 Umma (2022), 45.9 The 355 (2022), 44.3 Jurassic World: Dominion (2022), 38.5 Memory (2022), 28.2 Amsterdam (2022), 19.2 Black Adam (2022)

BMT: Moonfall (2022), Morbius (2022), Blacklight (2022), The Invitation (2022), After Ever Happy (2022), Prey for the Devil (2022), The King’s Daughter (2022), Don’t Worry Darling (2022), Where the Crawdads Sing (2022)

Best Options (Romance): 52.1 Radhe Shyam (2022)

(Yeah … I don’t see how this isn’t a Romance but whatever. It is a courtroom drama I suppose, but underlying the whole thing is a romance. A bona fide romance.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 22) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: David Strathairn is No. 6 billed in Where the Crawdads Sing and No. 4 billed in Twisted, which also stars Ashley Judd (No. 1 billed) who is in The Identical (No. 2 billed) which also stars Ray Liotta (No. 3 billed) who is in In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (No. 2 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (6 + 4) + (1 + 2) + (3 + 2) + (3 + 1) = 22. If we were to watch Maleficent: Mistress of Evil, and The Bone Collector we can get the HoE Number down to 17.

Notes – The song that Chase sings to Kya in bed is “Long Black Veil,” a 1959 Lefty Frizzell folk ballad about a man who refuses to give an alibi when charged for a murder he didn’t commit.

Daisy Edgar-Jones (Kya) auditioned with a self-recorded tape she filmed on the set of her series War of the Worlds (2019).

The British Daisy Edgar-Jones had to work closely with dialect coach Francie Brown in order to master the southern American accent for her role as Kya.

Based on the bestselling novel by Delia Owens.

Features the original song “Carolina” written and performed by Taylor Swift.

Taylor Swift insisted on writing the song “Carolina” for the film, only after she learned that actress Daisy Edgar-Jones and Reese Witherspoon (as producer) were both involved.

Since the production was ongoing during the pandemic, most of the cast and crew didn’t actually get to ‘see’ each other until the end of the shoot after the masks came off.

The trailer for this film was released on producer Reese Witherspoon’s birthday, March 22.

Delia Owens: The author of the novel is seen in the courtroom sitting on the front row behind Tom when Patti is testifying about Chase’s shell necklace.

After Ever Happy Preview

Kyle explains to Jamie that as a child he got explicit instructions from Sylvester Stallone to implant a simulation he wrote into Patrick’s car. Patrick knew that eventually Jamie would remember the one thing everyone knows about Patrick: massive gearhead. And Patrick knew a particular fact about Jamie: he will sing Your Body is a Wonderland by John Mayer when emotions are high. Sure you could bump into anyone on the street singing Your Body is a Wonderland by John Mayer. But get Jamie riled up and he’ll sing it again and again. And that’s what the simulation was designed to do, create a situation where Jamie feared the worst: the doomed fate of living out his remaining years as an elderly Frank Stallone. When Kyle heard the majestic tones of Frank Stallone’s voice singing “We got the afternoon. You got this room for two,” he had never heard anything more beautiful. Finally Jamie had returned. He takes Jamie back to his house and shows him the drawer where the Dongle has resided for many years. “And no one came to get it?” Jamie asks, curious. “Well, they came,” Kyle explains, “But then they left. I think… I think they didn’t understand how I could have such power and yet…” he sweeps his hand around his house and Jamie could see. The house wasn’t made entirely of glass or a work of modern art. Just a humble house full of love. No place for the Dongle to reside. “So are you ready?” Kyle asks and Jamie nods. “I’m a little sad that this means all this didn’t happen,” Kyle says, “But will you… remember me?” Just before the blinding light takes him back to reality Jamie tells Kyle to not worry, they’ll get him his happy ever after. That’s right! We are watching the fourth installment of everyone’s favorite After franchise. Hardin is back. Tessa is back. We are back. And yes, this did get released to theaters (duh). And yes, we are watching this in the Comedy slot of the cycle because we are being a little naughty (it’s after, after all… hey wait, that’s a good name for an entry in the franchise). Let’s go!

After Ever Happy (2022) – BMeTric: 45.0; Notability: 16

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 6.4%; Notability: top 10.0%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 0.0%; Higher BMeT: Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Bubble, Moonfall, They/Them, Firestarter, Jeepers Creepers: Reborn, Morbius, Blacklight, Me Time, Pinocchio, Spiderhead, Deep Water, Umma, The Invitation, Senior Year, The 355; Higher Notability: Jurassic World: Dominion, Black Adam, Pinocchio, Amsterdam, Morbius, The School for Good and Evil, The Bubble, Moonfall, Deep Water, The Man from Toronto, The King’s Daughter, Spiderhead, Don’t Worry Darling, The 355, Where the Crawdads Sing, Blacklight, Samaritan, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Memory, Firestarter, and 5 more; Notes: Yup, that’s a 0% on Rotten Tomatoes. Although, with only 6 reviews it is a tepid one.

Variety – Either way, when that final “to be continued…” title appears — and never has a girly, curly typeface looked more like a ransom note — it’s by far the most heart-clutching #Hessa moment so far, because we realize we’re still at least one whole movie away from release from our collective captivity to this absolute nonentity of a franchise. “All of us have demons,” husks the opening voiceover in “After Ever Happy.” That’s very true: The apparently unkillable “After” series is one of them, and it’s not done with us yet.

(My god. Anyways, I actually had to double up here because there was actually only one major review of this film and it was in Variety. This series is pure lunacy.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hLQ-5exgctI/

(My body is ready, but is my mind? Will it explode with the incredible passion they’ve managed to put onto screen? Can I handle how much of a bad boy Hardin is? Can Tessa fix this broken man once and for all? How many people does he punch? I’m on tenterhooks here!)

Directors – Castille Landon – ( Known For: Fear of Rain; BMT: After Ever Happy; After We Fell; Notes: A big Wattpad productions director she is also slated for the sequel as well, so we’ll get her own trilogy in the After franchise (at least). Also directing another Wattpad production, Perfect Addiction.)

Writers – Anna Todd – ( Known For: After We Collided; BMT: After Ever Happy; After; After We Fell; Notes: She wrote the After series on her phone on Wattpad. Basically, this series is the only thing which is keeping the lights on at Wattpad productions from what I can tell.)

Sharon Soboil – ( BMT: After Ever Happy; After We Fell; Notes: Currently not slated for the sequel. That appears to be written and directed by Castille Landon. A true Landon vision, finally.)

Actors – Josephine Langford – ( Known For: After We Collided; Gigi & Nate; Moxie; Future BMT: Wish Upon; BMT: After Ever Happy; After; After We Fell; Notes: She has been pretty much just acting in this. She has an upcoming film called The Other Zoe which is about amnesia and love or something.)

Hero Fiennes Tiffin – ( Known For: The Woman King; Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince; After We Collided; The Silencing; Private Peaceful; Bigga Than Ben; BMT: After Ever Happy; After; After We Fell; Notes: I say this every time, but yes, he’s related to the Fiennes acting family. He’s actually in other films and has four films in production, so his career is maybe heating up.)

Louise Lombard – ( Known For: After We Collided; Hidalgo; Tale of the Mummy; My Kingdom; Lichnyy nomer; BMT: After Ever Happy; After We Fell; Notes: In the upcoming Oppenhiemer film. Was on People magazine’s list of the 50 Most Beautiful People in 1994.)

Budget/Gross – N/A / Domestic: $1,072,750 (Worldwide: $19,053,825)

(Wait … wait. Wait. No. But yes? So this was actually an odd duck. It was released widely for just two days in the US (September 7th and 8th). But then this seems to be a huge series in Germany or something? Because it made $4 million there alone! No wonder they still make these things, that probably is more than enough for a profit by itself.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 0% (0/6)

(There is really only one real review here. But here goes, let’s try a consensus: Nothing happens in this film. There is less than a bad episode of television worth of material, but yet you watch it all unfold in 90 minutes. The worst on screen romance in history.)

Reviewer Highlight: Can’t even charitably be said to be blah. It’s the space between the blahs. – Jessica Kiang, Variety

Poster – After After All

(Like the font and I like the framing or it all. But like… is it sexy enough? Am I wrong to kind of think this poster is for a not sexy movie? But that can’t be, can it? B-)

Tagline(s) – None

(Boooooooo. F. Let me give you one. Smooching is for the birds. Nailed it.)

Keyword(s) – year2022

Top 10: The Batman (2022), The Kashmir Files (2022), Top Gun: Maverick (2022), Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness (2022), Thor: Love and Thunder (2022), Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022), Uncharted (2022), The Adam Project (2022), The Northman (2022), The Gray Man (2022)

Future BMT: 63.3 Firestarter (2022), 62.6 Jeepers Creepers: Reborn (2022), 60.8 Blacklight (2022), 52.1 Radhe Shyam (2022), 49.8 Umma (2022), 47.6 The Invitation (2022), 45.7 The 355 (2022), 44.2 Jurassic World: Dominion (2022), 37.7 Memory (2022), 24.7 Amsterdam (2022), 7.7 Black Adam (2022), 7.3 Where the Crawdads Sing (2022)

BMT: Moonfall (2022), Morbius (2022), After Ever Happy (2022), The King’s Daughter (2022), Prey for the Devil (2022), Don’t Worry Darling (2022)

Best Options (Comedy): 24.7 Amsterdam (2022)

(Oh huh … that’s right! Since we couldn’t do Amsterdam (it’s the only chain reaction film!), we decided to classify After Ever Happy as a comedy. Isn’t it? I mean … I find it hilarious. So isn’t it? Funniest comedy of the year in my opinion.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 21) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Stephen Moyer is No. 7 billed in After Ever Happy and No. 10 billed in 88 Minutes, which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (7 + 10) + (3 + 1) = 21. If we were to watch The Replacement Killers we can get the HoE Number down to 17.

The King’s Daughter Preview

Patrick’s beautiful mind has created a most beautiful simulation. Kyle and Jamie meet in billions of different ways. Some are hilarious, others somber dramas of loss and ennui. In one, Jamie has been turned into a rabbit. At one point, Patrick is brought to tears as he witnesses Jamie live a full life of love, dying in the arms of his beloved on his 101st birthday. Through his tears he witnesses over and over again the solution to their problem. He scribbles down a full list of instructions for Kyle. He presses the piece of paper into his tiny hand and tells him everything he needs to know and bids him adieu. With that he sits down with the pile of scripts waiting on Stallone’s desk… he’s got all the time in the world, so he can really craft a masterpiece.

Kyle’s eyes gleam as he looks at Patrick’s kick ass Pontiac Trans Am. “He literally never stopped talking about this car. Just a giant gear head for sure,” Jamie says, shaking his head. Kyle nods. It was true. If there was one thing everyone knew about Partick it was that he was a giant gear head. “Hello, Frank,” the car says, startling Jamie. When did the car start talking? “So he’s just Frank, not Jamie?” Kyle asks anxiously. The car says nothing and Kyle turns to Jamie sadly. He picks up a bunch of pebbles and starts pelting Jamie with them. “Get out of here, you idiot,” he yells, tears streaming down his face. “You spider… you stupid head.” Jamie is scared by this turn of events. Not knowing what else to do he begins to sing Your Body is a Wonderland by John Mayer again and Kyle stops. He wipes his eyes. “It really is you,” he smiles.

That’s right! We are nearing the end of our 2022 journey heading into the current year cycle. They really did have all the time in the world crafting one of the more bizarre releases of the year in The King’s Daughter. Filming began in 2014 for this film and so obviously all that time created a beautiful BMT diamond for us to gaze upon. We ended up pairing this film with Spiderhead. Probably the biggest non-theatrical release of the year below 40% RT. I kinda thought it looked good. Let’s go!

The King’s Daughter (2022) – BMeTric: 34.1; Notability: 30

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 9.2%; Notability: top 4.0%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 5.0%; Higher BMeT: Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Bubble, Moonfall, Firestarter, They/Them, Morbius, Me Time, Blacklight, Jeepers Creepers: Reborn, Pinocchio, Spiderhead, Deep Water, Umma, Senior Year, The Invitation, The 355, After Ever Happy, Jurassic World Dominion, Samaritan, Persuasion, and 3 more; Higher Notability: Jurassic World Dominion, Black Adam, Pinocchio, Morbius, Amsterdam, The School for Good and Evil, The Bubble, Moonfall, Deep Water, The Man from Toronto; Lower RT: Jeepers Creepers: Reborn, After Ever Happy, Me Time, Blacklight, Firestarter, Morbius, Paradise Highway, Home Team; Notes: Good stuff. Blacklight, Firestarter, and After Ever Happy are on the docket, so well start cleaning up the lower RT ones for sure. The BMeT seems to be dominated as usual by very bad streaming films.

RogerEbert.com – 1.0 stars – “The King’s Daughter” has been kicking around as a potential project ever since the book on which it is based, Vonda McIntyre’s novel The Moon and the Sun, was published in 1997 (winning the Nebula over a little-known book called Game of Thrones). It’s not hard to see why this story would have so much appeal. There is a strong female central character, and the book blends together historical fact and supernatural-fantasy, using the Versailles court of Louis XIV, the “Sun King,” as backdrop. Jim Henson Pictures expressed interest in the story, as did Disney. Natalie Portman was attached at one point in the early aughts. None of it came to anything, although the property continued to change hands. The only reason this background matters is that “The King’s Daughter,” directed by Sean McNamara, released on this day in the year 2022, was actually shot in 2014, and slated for a 2015 release. To call this a “new release” is to stretch the truth into absurdity.

(This really is one of the more bizarre releases in recent memory. As they ask in the review: who is this for? For what purpose is this released to theaters? Was it just that in January 2022 there was a gap in the schedule with covid still around and so the production studio took a flier on something with almost nothing to lose? It seems that way. Maybe the rare case in which something was released widely because of the pandemic instead of in spite of it.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NjGSWdmVVHM/

(Nonsensical. Just disparate things edited together with a pop music soundtrack. Exciting stuff.)

Directors – Sean McNamara – ( Known For: Soul Surfer; The Miracle Season; Spare Parts; 3 Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mountain; Cats & Dogs 3: Paws Unite; Field of Lost Shoes; P.U.N.K.S.; Aliens Stole My Body; Treehouse Hostage; Mighty Oak; Cody the Robosapien; Space Warriors; The Legend of Galgameth; Race to Space; Future BMT: Raise Your Voice; BMT: The King’s Daughter; Bratz; Notes: Nominated for an Emmy for producing That’s So Raven. His filmography is bonkers. He directed things like the straight-to-video sequels to Baby Geniuses. No wonder this film looks the way it does.)

Writers – Barry Berman – ( Known For: Benny & Joon; Future BMT: The Adventures of Pinocchio; BMT: The King’s Daughter; Notes: Strange career. I think it is probable that he wrote his version of the screenplay in the early 2000s when the book was first optioned, since his last feature film was made in 2000 previously.)

James Schamus – ( Known For: Hulk; Lust, Caution; Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon; The Ice Storm; Eat Drink Man Woman; Ride with the Devil; Indignation; Taking Woodstock; The Wedding Banquet; Pushing Hands; BMT: The King’s Daughter; Notes: Nominated for three Oscars, two for Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, and one for producing Brokeback Mountain. Well known for his collaborations with Ang Lee.)

Vonda N. McIntyre – (BMT: The King’s Daughter; Notes: Odd one. She’s the writer of the book which won the Nebula Prize in 1997. Odd because she doesn’t have a TMDb profile at all, so it screws up all my algorithms. Get on that TMDb!)

Actors – Pierce Brosnan – ( Known For: GoldenEye; The World Is Not Enough; Mars Attacks!; Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief; Mamma Mia!; The Mirror Crack’d; Cinderella; The World’s End; Tomorrow Never Dies; Die Another Day; Mrs. Doubtfire; The Foreigner; Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga; Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again; No Escape; The Thomas Crown Affair; The Ghost Writer; The Misfits; The Only Living Boy in New York; False Positive; Future BMT: Black Adam; Remember Me; Dante’s Peak; The November Man; After the Sunset; Laws of Attraction; I Don’t Know How She Does It; Love Affair; BMT: The King’s Daughter; The Lawnmower Man; Razzie Notes: Winner for Worst Supporting Actor for Mamma Mia! in 2009; and Nominee for Worst Screen Couple for The World Is Not Enough in 2000; Notes: Y’all know Brosnan. Famously couldn’t play James Bond due to commitments to Remington Steel (and possibly odd contract conditions like not being able to wear a tuxedo outside of Remington Steel). But then they want back to him in the 90s when working on Goldeneye.)

Kaya Scodelario – ( Known For: Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil and Vile; The Maze Runner; Moon; Crawl; Maze Runner: The Death Cure; Maze Runner: The Scorch Trials; Don’t Make Me Go; Wuthering Heights; Now Is Good; Spike Island; Tiger House; The Truth About Emanuel; Shank; Twenty8k; Future BMT: Clash of the Titans; BMT: Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales; Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City; The King’s Daughter; Notes: In 2014 when this was shot she would have been shooting Maze Runner and just coming off of Skins. So the casting makes a bit more sense in that context instead of her current status as the lead in a defunct Resident Evil franchise.)

William Hurt – ( Known For: Avengers: Endgame; Avengers: Infinity War; Robin Hood; The Incredible Hulk; Black Widow; Captain America: Civil War; Into the Wild; The Village; Body Heat; A History of Violence; A.I. Artificial Intelligence; The Good Shepherd; Dark City; Altered States; The Big Chill; Mr. Brooks; Eyewitness; Tuck Everlasting; Broadcast News; Syriana; Future BMT: Vantage Point; Michael; Trial by Jury; BMT: The King’s Daughter; The Host; Lost in Space; Winter’s Tale; Notes: Died in March. Was nominated for Best Actor three years in a row (1986 he won for Kiss of the Spider Woman, 1987 he was nominated for Children of a Lesser God, and 1988 he was nominated for Broadcast News). Also nominated for Supporting Actor in 2006 for A History of Violence. Nominated twice for Emmys as well.)

Budget/Gross – $40 million / Domestic: $1,758,963 (Worldwide: $2,204,327)

(My god. Again, why even bother to release this? Was it a clause in a contract or something. There is no way it makes more money than dumping it on streaming right? Or do studios get paid by theaters to play movies or something? It makes no sense.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 20% (13/65): A muddled mess that was clearly tinkered with in post-production to little avail, The King’s Daughter is a royal disappointment.

(Tinkered?! The first 30 minutes of this film are an editor’s nightmare. Clearly just 40 disparate 3 minute long scenes strung together to try and build up an otherwise non-existent story. That isn’t tinkering. That’s an abomination.)

Reviewer Highlight: The King’s Daughter might be more fascinating than the movie itself, which has its moments of campy delights but is eventually sunk by the meandering story, some over-the-top performances and underwhelming special effects. – Richard Roeper, Chicago Sun-Times

Poster – The King’s Sklogger

(Look at Brosnan’s flowing locks! The poster certainly tells a story. Just not one I want to look at. I guess I like the gold font on the blue background. C+.)

Tagline(s) – A King. His Daughter. A Hidden World. (C-)

(This tagline is telling us things already explained by the title of the movie. It’s got the structure of a tagline, but somehow really doesn’t work.)

Keyword(s) – past

Top 10: The Shawshank Redemption (1994), Forrest Gump (1994), The Dark Knight Rises (2012), Django Unchained (2012), Gladiator (2000), Inglourious Basterds (2009), Saving Private Ryan (1998), Schindler’s List (1993), The Prestige (2006), Shutter Island (2010)

Future BMT: 88.7 BloodRayne (2005), 73.0 The Unborn (2009), 70.5 Texas Chainsaw (2013), 70.2 Black Christmas (2006), 67.4 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (1993), 66.0 The Woman in Black 2: Angel of Death (2014), 64.6 The Final Destination (2009), 62.1 The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (2008), 59.8 Exorcist: The Beginning (2004), 56.8 Robin Hood (2018), 55.1 Annabelle (2014), 54.9 The Quiet Ones (2014), 54.5 Snow Dogs (2002), 53.8 Spy Hard (1996), 53.2 Porky’s Revenge (1985), 52.4 2016: Obama’s America (2012), 52.1 Radhe Shyam (2022), 51.6 Porky’s II: The Next Day (1983), 50.3 Halloween Kills (2021), 50.2 The Last Legion (2007)

BMT: Epic Movie (2007), Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987), The Fog (2005), Movie 43 (2013), Super Mario Bros. (1993), Glitter (2001), Holmes & Watson (2018), The Master of Disguise (2002), The Legend of Hercules (2014), Grease 2 (1982), The Bye Bye Man (2017), Jonah Hex (2010), Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare (1991), Wild Wild West (1999), Highlander: The Final Dimension (1994), The Ridiculous 6 (2015), Highlander: Endgame (2000), Black Knight (2001), Chernobyl Diaries (2012), A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child (1989), Cool World (1992), The Musketeer (2001), An American Haunting (2005), Apollo 18 (2011), Ishtar (1987), The Curse of La Llorona (2019), Hellraiser: Bloodline (1996), Pinocchio (2002), The Nun (2018), Bolero (1984), Bones (2001), Shanghai Surprise (1986), Return to the Blue Lagoon (1991), House of Wax (2005), Season of the Witch (2011), The Tuxedo (2002), Mannequin: On the Move (1991), Pompeii (2014), Ghost Ship (2002), Assassin’s Creed (2016), The Scarlet Letter (1995), Dolittle (2020), Timeline (2003), The Quest (1996), X-Men: Dark Phoenix (2019), Wagons East (1994), The Three Musketeers (2011), Diana (2013), Ben-Hur (2016), Rambo III (1988), Around the World in 80 Days (2004), The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning (2006), The Blue Lagoon (1980), Cutthroat Island (1995), Texas Rangers (2001), The King’s Daughter (2022), Sucker Punch (2011), Captain Corelli’s Mandolin (2001), Jobs (2013), Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights (2004), Friday the 13th Part 2 (1981), Original Sin (2001), Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters (2013), American Outlaws (2001), Universal Soldier (1992), Winter’s Tale (2014), Harlem Nights (1989), I Dreamed of Africa (2000), Pearl Harbor (2001), The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003), The Identical (2014), The Chamber (1996), The Marrying Man (1991), Wild Bill (1995), In Love and War (1996), Sleepaway Camp (1983), Gods and Generals (2003), The Lone Ranger (2013), X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009), 1492: Conquest of Paradise (1992), Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales (2017), Rambo: First Blood Part II (1985), Halloween II (1981), September Dawn (2007), Young Guns II (1990), Oscar (1991), Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2011), Evening (2007), The 13th Warrior (1999), White Comanche (1968), Gangster Squad (2013), Now and Then (1995), A Dog’s Purpose (2017)

Best Options (year2022): 52.1 Radhe Shyam (2022), 34.2 The King’s Daughter (2022), 20.6 Amsterdam (2022), 7.3 Where the Crawdads Sing (2022)

(There really wasn’t much to choose from here. I promise you, we would have never watched this film if not for the fact that it was the only bad film released in 2022 set in the past.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 17) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Kaya Scodelario is No. 2 billed in The King’s Daughter and No. 1 billed in Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City, which also stars Neal McDonough (No. 7 billed) who is in Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li (No. 3 billed) which also stars Chris Klein (No. 2 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 2 billed) => (2 + 1) + (7 + 3) + (2 + 2) = 17. If we were to watch Laws of Attraction, and Next we can get the HoE Number down to 14.

Notes – Filmed in 2014, it remained unreleased until 2022.

The film was partly filmed in the Palace of Versailles, which included a huge dance sequence filmed inside the Hall of Mirrors. They had to film it at night, when the tourists weren’t around, and struggled to finish it up by 5:30 a.m.

Filming wrapped in May 2014 and a release date was set for April 2015. However a series of events starting with the studios lack of enthusiasm with the cut they were originally presented with followed by Fan Bingbing getting into trouble with the Chinese authorities for non payment of taxes had impeded this film’s release. As the film featured a then major star in Chinese cinema and Chinese investors stumped up 50% of the budget, her income tax issues and the negative publicity in China effectively killed her career there and with it any chance of a lucrative Chinese release. With Pierce Brosnan as the only international star in the cast and without a major studio to back the release campaign the film sat on the shelf for nearly eight years.

Benjamin Walker (Yves De La Croix) is married to Kaya Scodelario (Marie-Josephe D’Alember).

The final film of his to be released while William Hurt was alive, however, it was far from the final film he shot as it was shot 8 years prior to its release and Hurt’s death.

The second time Julie Andrews narrated a film, as she narrated Enchanted (2007).

The 1997 source novel by Vonda N. McIntyre: ”The Moon & the Sun”, was awarded the Nebula Award for Best Sci-fi Novel, besting the George R.R. Martin novel which would generate the Game of Thrones (2011) series.

The film rights for the source Vonda N. McIntyre novel ”The Moon & the Sun” were purchased in 1999 by Jim Henson Productions, with Broadway director Christopher Renshaw was announced as making his cinematic debut. Henson associate Bill Mechanic reportedly brought the project with him to Disney who signed Mechanic as a producer in 2001 and a 2002 start date with Natalie Portman as star was announced, but did not eventuate.

Ben-Hur (2016) Preview

Patrick walks through campus deep in thought. Where do you go when you are Sly Stallone in 1989? He said ‘school’ so that’s where he went. People point and gawk at the sad lonely walk of a Sly Stallone. A crowd forms and soon he’s surrounded by looky loos. “Sly! Flex for us,” one shouts. “Yo, Adrian! Where’s Adrian?” another chides playfully. In a sudden panic he tries to escape the taunts, but he can’t break through. He cocks back his arm, ready to use his age-appropriate muscles crafted from years of exercise and eating well. Before he can pulverize an innocent fan he feels a tiny hand on his arm and a quiet voice asking “Sly, sir, may I get an autograph?” He looks down to see a child, no more than three or four. He’s dressed in the colors of the college, ready to root on his favorite team, “Gladiators” splashed across his chest. Patrick’s eyes widen. “Kyle?” he gasps.

Jamie walks through campus deep in thought. Frankie Jr. is popping b-gum (as the kids now call it) and strutting around the school. “Yo, pops, you’re cramping my style.” Jamie just murmurs sorry and continues to think. If he’s here, where is Patrick? Who is Patrick? He looks around in panic, suddenly gripped by paranoia. Who is anyone? He grabs a nearby student and screams, “Who are you?” much to the horror of Frankie Jr. He feels a hand on his shoulder and turns around, his arm cocked back, old skin drooping down from years of hard living. The principal stands in front of him, an old man with gray hair and beard. He’s dressed in the colors of the school, “The New Gladiators” splashes across his chest. Jamie’s eyes widen. “Kyle?” he gasps.

That’s right! It’s a double gladiator week as we catch the 2016 remake of Ben-Hur and pair it with an Italian sci-fi picture, The New Gladiators. Remaking Ben-Hur was always a mistake. It’s also appropriate we catch at least one Italian film in this cycle as they played such a big role in the type of future/action genre of the times. Let’s go!

Ben-Hur (2016) – BMeTric: 41.2; Notability: 61

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 16.4%; Notability: top 4.4%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 20.4%; Higher BMeT: Fifty Shades of Black, Zoolander 2, Cell, The Forest, Exposed, Yoga Hosers, Meet the Blacks, Cabin Fever, Max Steel, The Darkness, Dark Crimes, Blair Witch, Independence Day: Resurgence, The 5th Wave, Urge, Shut In, Boo! A Madea Halloween, Gods of Egypt, Get a Job, The Assignment, and 21 more; Higher Notability: Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, Suicide Squad, Zoolander 2, Independence Day: Resurgence, The Brothers Grimsby, Alice Through the Looking Glass, Warcraft, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows, Allegiant, The Huntsman: Winter’s War, Ice Age: Collision Course; Lower RT: Cabin Fever, Dark Crimes, Term Life, Urge, Max Steel, Amateur Night, The Darkness, Fifty Shades of Black, Shut In, Misconduct, Mother’s Day, Exposed, The Do-Over, Get a Job, I.T., Dirty Grandpa, The Forest, Cell, Allegiant, The Choice, and 30 more; Notes: The notability is off the hook here. It’s 2016, so obviously there are going to be huge ones coming out around then, but it is near The Huntsman sequel? That’s big.

RogerEbert.com – 3.0 stars – Does the movie radically re-arrange both its source material and that material’s most famous adaptation? It sure as hell does. But I doubt that many contemporary viewers consider either of those as holy writ. This is a “Ben-Hur” of and for its time, but also a little better than its time, it turns out. I’m not qualified to say whether it’s an effective delivery system for its Christian message, but I think I can credibly pronounce it a good popcorn movie.

(My God. One of the big pluses for this film according to this review is: it’s shorter than the previous 4 hour epic. Alright. For the record I liked the previous adaptation. It is long, but has some really interesting stuff in it. Somehow I still doubt this stands up.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gLJdzky63BA/

(Wow, the hard rock soundtrack is an interesting take. Also, absolutely nothing about Jesus in the whole trailer? Just hard core chariot action? I would be down if that were the case. Unfortunately, it is not.)

Directors – Timur Bekmambetov – ( Known For: Wanted; Profile; Night Watch; Day Watch; V2. Escape from Hell; The Arena; The Irony of Fate 2; Yolki 5; Six Degrees of Celebration; Yolki 1914; Peshawar Waltz; Future BMT: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter; BMT: Ben-Hur; Notes: He was born in what is now Kazakhstan. Night Watch and Day Watch are a series about vampires that made him famous.)

Writers – Lew Wallace – ( Known For: Ben-Hur; Ben-Hur: A Tale of the Christ; BMT: Ben-Hur; Notes: He’s the author of the original book. He died in 1905. He was also the governor of the New Mexico Territory and later minister to Turkey besides being an author.)

Keith R. Clarke – ( Known For: The Way Back; BMT: Ben-Hur; Notes: Not much about him. He has an upcoming movie which sounds like Catch-22 but concerning redeployment to Afghanistan.)

John Ridley – ( Known For: 12 Years a Slave; Three Kings; U Turn; Needle in a Timestack; Red Tails; Undercover Brother; Jimi: All Is by My Side; Cold Around the Heart; BMT: Ben-Hur; Notes: He won an Oscar for 12 Years a Slave. He wrote a draft for Beverly Hills Cop 4 which apparently was rejected.)

Actors – Jack Huston – ( Known For: House of Gucci; The Irishman; American Hustle; Pride and Prejudice and Zombies; The Twilight Saga: Eclipse; Hail, Caesar!; Their Finest; Antebellum; Above Suspicion; Kill Your Darlings; Outlander; Factory Girl; Earthquake Bird; Shrink; Night Train to Lisbon; Shrooms; The Yellow Birds; Boogie Woogie; Not Fade Away; Mr. Nice; Future BMT: The Longest Ride; BMT: Ben-Hur; Notes: For a while I was convinced this was Jack Heston, as in a stunt cast to cast Charlton Heston’s son. Nope, this is Anjelica Huston’s nephew and thus John Huston’s grandson. Heston does have a son, he directed the box office bomb Alaska.)

Toby Kebbell – ( Known For: RocknRolla; Kong: Skull Island; War for the Planet of the Apes; Match Point; Dawn of the Planet of the Apes; Gold; Dead Man’s Shoes; A Monster Calls; War Horse; The Sorcerer’s Apprentice; Destroyer; Control; The East; The Conspirator; Chéri; The Angel; The Hurricane Heist; Held for Ransom; Wilderness; Becoming; Future BMT: Alexander; Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time; The Counselor; Wrath of the Titans; BMT: Fantastic Four; Warcraft; Bloodshot; Ben-Hur; Notes: He’s English and was nominated as a Rising Star at the BAFTAs.)

Rodrigo Santoro – ( Known For: 300; Love Actually; Focus; 300: Rise of an Empire; Rio; Project Power; Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle; 7 Prisoners; The Last Stand; Rio 2; I Love You Phillip Morris; The 33; Jane Got a Gun; Pele: Birth of a Legend; Redbelt; Carandiru; There Be Dragons; Rio, I Love You; Last Call; Monica and Friends: Bonds; Future BMT: Post Grad; BMT: What to Expect When You’re Expecting; Ben-Hur; Notes: From Brazil, and most notable for his role in Westworld. He also was the voice of Stuart Little in the Brazilian dubbed version of both movies.)

Budget/Gross – $100,000,000 / Domestic: $26,410,477 (Worldwide: $94,061,311)

(My god, what a bomb. I’m telling you, they should have got James Cameron to do it. That would have been the way to make a Ben-Hur film.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 25% (47/191): How do you fight an idea? By filming a remake that has too few of its own, and tries to cover it up with choppy editing and CGI.

(Jamie had to point out to me that “how do you fight an idea” is a big part of the previous Ben-Hur film. I’ve seen that film. But I didn’t remember the quote. The Rotten Tomatoes consensus hitting that up hard in a tongue in cheek manner is weird, but at least now it makes sense to my brain instead of sounding like actual gibberish.)

Reviewer Highlight: Very rarely does it try to impress us, or overwhelm us, shock us, move us. – K. Austin Collins, The Ringer

Poster – Jesus: The Movie

(It’s an exciting picture from the film, but not exactly poster material. Nice font, though. Comes out just about even. C.)

Tagline(s) – Brother against brother. Slave against empire. (B)

(I can’t fault it for passing up the rule of three. Would have gotten pretty long if you tried to add another one. But needs something more to get to the next level. “Crime against God” doesn’t work, but that’s the kind of clever third entry they could have tried. Just merely good as it is.)

Keyword(s) – past

Future BMT: 88.6 BloodRayne (2005), 72.9 The Unborn (2009), 70.3 Texas Chainsaw (2013), 70.1 Black Christmas (2006), 69.7 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (1993), 65.8 The Woman in Black 2: Angel of Death (2014), 64.5 The Final Destination (2009), 62.1 The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (2008), 59.7 Exorcist: The Beginning (2004), 59.0 Apollo 18 (2011)

BMT: Epic Movie (2007), Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987), The Fog (2005), Movie 43 (2013), Super Mario Bros. (1993), Glitter (2001), Holmes & Watson (2018), The Master of Disguise (2002), The Legend of Hercules (2014), Grease 2 (1982), The Bye Bye Man (2017), Jonah Hex (2010), Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare (1991), Wild Wild West (1999), Highlander: The Final Dimension (1994), The Ridiculous 6 (2015), Highlander: Endgame (2000), Black Knight (2001), Chernobyl Diaries (2012), A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child (1989), Cool World (1992), The Musketeer (2001), An American Haunting (2005), Ishtar (1987), The Nun (2018), The Curse of La Llorona (2019), Pinocchio (2002), Hellraiser: Bloodline (1996), Bones (2001), Shanghai Surprise (1986), House of Wax (2005), Return to the Blue Lagoon (1991), Season of the Witch (2011), The Tuxedo (2002), Mannequin: On the Move (1991), Pompeii (2014), Ghost Ship (2002), Assassin’s Creed (2016), The Scarlet Letter (1995), Timeline (2003), Dolittle (2020), The Quest (1996), X-Men: Dark Phoenix (2019), Wagons East (1994), The Three Musketeers (2011), Diana (2013), Ben-Hur (2016), Rambo III (1988), Around the World in 80 Days (2004), The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning (2006), The Blue Lagoon (1980), Cutthroat Island (1995), Texas Rangers (2001), Sucker Punch (2011), Captain Corelli’s Mandolin (2001), Jobs (2013), Universal Soldier (1992), Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights (2004), Friday the 13th Part 2 (1981), Original Sin (2001), Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters (2013), American Outlaws (2001), Winter’s Tale (2014), Harlem Nights (1989), The Identical (2014), I Dreamed of Africa (2000), The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003), The Chamber (1996), The Marrying Man (1991), Wild Bill (1995), In Love and War (1996), Sleepaway Camp (1983), Gods and Generals (2003), The Lone Ranger (2013), X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009), Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales (2017), Rambo: First Blood Part II (1985), Halloween II (1981), September Dawn (2007), Young Guns II (1990), Oscar (1991), Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2011), Evening (2007), The 13th Warrior (1999), White Comanche (1968), Gangster Squad (2013), Now and Then (1995), A Dog’s Purpose (2017)

Best Options (Action): 88.6 BloodRayne (2005), 69.7 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (1993), 64.5 The Final Destination (2009), 62.1 The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (2008), 56.7 Robin Hood (2018), 53.7 Spy Hard (1996), 50.1 The Last Legion (2007), 48.2 You Don’t Mess with the Zohan (2008), 48.0 Alexander (2004), 47.9 King Solomon’s Mines (1985), 47.7 The Dark Tower (2017), 47.1 Bad Girls (1994), 45.9 Samson (2018), 45.5 Operation Dumbo Drop (1995), 45.3 Red Scorpion (1988), 44.6 G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra (2009), 43.6 Top Dog (1995), 43.5 Missing in Action (1984), 43.3 The Kitchen (2019), 43.2 Iron Eagle (1986), 42.5 Pan (2015), 41.3 Ben-Hur (2016), 40.9 The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (2003), 40.3 End of Days (1999), 40.2 The Delta Force (1986), (and many more)

(We went far down here, but actually really like … look at the options. The only other one I could have maybe went for was the other notorious bomb, Alexander. There are just so many films sent in the past that are terrible.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 18) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Morgan Freeman is No. 4 billed in Ben-Hur and No. 1 billed in Kiss the Girls, which also stars Ashley Judd (No. 2 billed) who is in The Identical (No. 2 billed) which also stars Ray Liotta (No. 3 billed) who is in In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (No. 2 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (4 + 1) + (2 + 2) + (3 + 2) + (3 + 1) = 18. If we were to watch Just Getting Started we can get the HoE Number down to 16.

Notes – Director Timur Bekmambetov insisted that the chariot circus be built for real, and be realized with as little computer graphics imagery as possible. He felt it was absolutely necessary to make the chariot race look and feel realistic.

This version of the story is 87 minutes shorter than the previous version, Ben-Hur (1959).

Timur Bekmambetov explained the film’s adaptation in an interview with “Collider”: “When we say ‘original “Ben-Hur”,’ we have to be very concrete about which original version we are talking about. There were two big-screen versions made, in 1925 [Ben-Hur: A Tale of the Christ (1925)] and 1959 [Ben-Hur (1959)]. These are the two most famous ones. There was also a Broadway stage version at the beginning of the 20th century. There have been a lot of television versions. The Ben-Hur story reminds me of ‘Romeo and Juliet’, ‘Hamlet’ and any story written by [Anton Chekhov]. It is timeless, so every new generation wants to go back to it in order to adapt it for the new world. The screen version made in 1959 runs for four hours, and there [are] only a small number of people who can actually stay through the whole movie. It is about people different from us. And it’s normal, because people used to be different. The audience was different, too, as well as the cinema language the film was made in. The 1959 movie was about revenge, not about forgiveness. For me that was the main problem, as I think that the novel is mainly about forgiveness, about the fact that a human being learned how to forgive. I got so excited about the project when I read John Ridley’s script. I understood that John’s vision of the story has so much light to it, and that he shares the same thoughts about certain morals as I do. We talked with him about our modern world, which actually reminds me very much of a huge Roman Empire. In the Roman Empire the most important values were pride, rivalry, power, strength, the dictatorship of power and self-love. This kind of world does not have any prospects today. Humanity has to learn how to love and forgive. This would be our only solution.”

The film was originally set for release on February 26, 2016. In October 2015 it was pushed back to August 12, 2016.

Original Sin Preview

Jamie and Patrick get off the Paris Metro. They look at the thirty story apartment building where they were told the Dongle is housed. It’s tough, but nothing a little dew can’t solve. They cheers with their limited edition Fuchsia Fusion Mountain Dew Deluxe brought to you by Mountain Dew. With the smallest sip they feel the power (and it feels good). Five minutes later they parkour flip their way onto the roof and get into a Twin Chop stance. But there isn’t anyone there to chop. Suspicious. As they walk their way down to the low level terrorist’s apartment they do the calculus on what might be going on. “What if they knew we were from the future so they sent us here to get us out of the way while our past selves went to Budapest?” Jamie says. It’s a reasonable guess, but they had Kyle take the past Jamie and Patrick on a hiking trip to Greece and they seem to be having a grand old time according to their Insta posts. When they amble into the apartment they gasp. There’s the Dongle, sitting on the kitchen table, not a soul in sight. Is it a trap? Or is this their moment to seize the Dongle and finally remove it from the equation? Just as Jamie reaches for it, Patrick stays his hand. “Look around,” Patrick whispers and only in that moment does Jamie realize that the apartment is an exact replica of the apartment from the hit television show Mad About You. My God! It’s a trap! They must have made the apartment specifically that way as an elaborate ruse. They turn to run, but are stopped at gunpoint by Future Mikey. “Pick it up,” he demands, “this is the moment. This is your…” That’s right! We’re watching the Banderas/Jolie smash hit Original Sin which is about… something… I’m not sure, but you better believe it’s steamy. As for Bring a Friend, we are pairing this with another erotic (?) thriller (?) Swept Away starring Madonna which just didn’t qualify for BMT cause it was so bad they couldn’t release it wide to theaters. Let’s go!

Original Sin (2001) – BMeTric: 32.3; Notability: 30

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 22.0%; Notability: top 28.4%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 8.4%; Higher BMeT: Glitter, Jason X, Freddy Got Fingered, Driven, The Animal, Ghosts of Mars, Black Knight, Valentine, Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles, Soul Survivors, Monkeybone, The Musketeer, Corky Romano, Scary Movie 2, The Wedding Planner, Bones, Summer Catch, The Order, Say It Isn’t So, The Wash, and 35 more; Higher Notability: Pearl Harbor, Monkeybone, Lara Croft: Tomb Raider, Hannibal, Impostor, Ghosts of Mars, Not Another Teen Movie, Bubble Boy, 15 Minutes, Swordfish, The One, Town & Country, The Affair of the Necklace, Scary Movie 2, I Am Sam, America’s Sweethearts, Along Came a Spider, 3000 Miles to Graceland, Texas Rangers, Joe Dirt, and 51 more; Lower RT: Texas Rangers, Soul Survivors, Glitter, All the Queen’s Men, Corky Romano, The Forsaken, Summer Catch, The Wash, Out Cold, Say It Isn’t So, Joe Dirt, Head Over Heels, Megiddo: The Omega Code 2, What’s the Worst That Could Happen?, Freddy Got Fingered, Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles, Perfume, The Musketeer, Valentine, Double Take; Notes: Pretty minor. And when you are going against heavy hitters like Glitter it is no wonder a film like Original Sin would cruise under our radar for so long.

RogerEbert.com – 3.0 stars – The movie is not intended to be subtle. It is sweaty, candle-lit melodrama, joyously trashy, and its photography wallows in sumptuous decadence. The ending is hilariously contrived and sensationally unlikely, as the movie audaciously shows an irrevocable action and then revokes it. I don’t know whether to recommend “Original Sin” or not. It’s an exuberant example of what it is–a bodice-ripping murder “meller”–and at that it gets a passing grade. Maybe if it had tried to be more it would have simply been watering the soup.

(Wow. This is the second in a few weeks where Ebert is like “what are you guys going on about? This is a good movie” about a BMT film. I can see it for both Wicker Park and this. They both are a specific genre or indie film that could be liked for the performances and not be bothered by the execution in the end.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L5xoAd6ejWk/

(I sure hope I can call it “extremely steamy”! And cha Ebert gave it a thumbs up, he was like “good for what it is.” It actually it a great example of that. The trailer? It did seem bodice-ripping, so I give it a thumbs up.)

Directors – Michael Cristofer – ( Known For: The Night Clerk; Body Shots; BMT: Original Sin; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Screenplay for The Bonfire of the Vanities in 1991; Notes: Won the Pulitzer for his production of the play The Shadow Box which he eventually wrote a tv adaptation for. Seems like he was a pretty major actor, was in 32 episodes of Mr. Robot.)

Writers – Cornell Woolrich – ( Known For: Rear Window; The Window; Cloak & Dagger; Black Angel; The Bride Wore Black; Mississippi Mermaid; The Leopard Man; No Man of Her Own; Seven Blood-Stained Orchids; The Chase; Phantom Lady; The Guilty; Street of Chance; Night Has a Thousand Eyes; Union City; Fear in the Night; Deadline at Dawn; Nightmare; Seven Footprints to Satan; She’s No Angel; BMT: Original Sin; Mrs. Winterbourne; Notes: He wrote the original novel and died in the 60s. All of these films, amazingly, are presumably made from various novels and short stories.)

Michael Cristofer – ( Known For: The Night Clerk; The Witches of Eastwick; Casanova; Falling in Love; Chuck; Mr. Jones; Breaking Up; BMT: Original Sin; The Bonfire of the Vanities; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Screenplay for The Bonfire of the Vanities in 1991; Notes: Nominated for two Emmys for writing, for Gia and The Shadow Box.)

Actors – Antonio Banderas – ( Known For: Uncharted; Interview with the Vampire: The Vampire Chronicles; Official Competition; Spy Kids; Shrek 2; The Mask of Zorro; Philadelphia; The Skin I Live In; Desperado; Frida; Shrek the Third; Spy Kids 3: Game Over; Once Upon a Time in Mexico; Security; Four Rooms; Knight of Cups; Tie Me Up! Tie Me Down!; Evita; Shrek Forever After; The Laundromat; Future BMT: Life Itself; Machete Kills; Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World; The Legend of Zorro; Assassins; Play It to the Bone; BMT: Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard; The Expendables 3; Dolittle; Original Sin; The 13th Warrior; Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever; Never Talk to Strangers; Notes: Broke into Hollywood with The Mambo Kings, but originally was a major actor in Spain. Was nominated for an Oscar for Dolor y gloria.)

Angelina Jolie – ( Known For: Eternals; The Good Shepherd; Girl, Interrupted; Kung Fu Panda; Wanted; Mr. & Mrs. Smith; Maleficent; Those Who Wish Me Dead; Kung Fu Panda 3; Kung Fu Panda 2; Changeling; Beowulf; Salt; By the Sea; Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow; The One and Only Ivan; Come Away; Playing by Heart; Pushing Tin; Foxfire; Future BMT: Alexander; The Tourist; Maleficent: Mistress of Evil; Shark Tale; The Bone Collector; Taking Lives; Life or Something Like It; Beyond Borders; Playing God; BMT: Lara Croft: Tomb Raider; Gone in 60 Seconds; Original Sin; Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life; Hackers; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Actress in 2002 for Lara Croft: Tomb Raider, and Original Sin; in 2003 for Life or Something Like It; in 2004 for Beyond Borders, and Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life; and in 2005 for Alexander, and Taking Lives; Notes: Daughter of Jon Voight. Won an Oscar for Girl, Interrupted, and was nominated for The Changeling. Recently I read she spite-sold half of a winery she owned with Brad Pitt. Baller.)

Thomas Jane – ( Known For: Boogie Nights; The Mist; Face/Off; Scott Pilgrim vs. the World; Deep Blue Sea; Magnolia; Vendetta; Hot Summer Nights; The Thin Red Line; Run Hide Fight; LOL; 1922; Nemesis; Murder at Yellowstone City; Before I Wake; Breach; The Vanished; White Bird in a Blizzard; The Last Son; Money Plane; Future BMT: Buffy the Vampire Slayer; The Punisher; A-X-L; The Crow: City of Angels; BMT: The Predator; Original Sin; The Sweetest Thing; Dreamcatcher; Notes: Used to be married to Rutger Hauer’s daughter. I’ll always remember him as a weird choice for The Punisher.)

Budget/Gross – $42,000,000 / Domestic: $16,534,221 (Worldwide: $35,402,320)

(Yeah that’s a bomb, but I’m also very skeptical of that $42 million budget. I know it is a period piece, and I know Jolie was famous, but still. You think this is pulling in $100 million?)

Rotten Tomatoes – 12% (11/90): Laughably melodramatic, Original Sin features bad acting, bad dialogue, and bad plotting.

(Melodramatic could be good, but this also just kind of screams “boring.” But maybe I’m just biased against bad dramas in general. The Owen Gleiberman quote below is amazing and probably 100% true.)

Reviewer Highlight: A textbook case of a movie that would have been better had it been worse. – Owen Gleiberman, Entertainment Weekly

Poster – Original Sklog

(I mean, yes, I will watch that, thank you. If you want to get butts in seats that is certainly a way to do it. Lot’s a flesh on this poster so you know what you’re in for. Everything else is merely OK. B)

Tagline(s) – Lead Us Into Temptation (A+)

(I like that a lot. I’m gonna go ahead and rock an A+ on that guy. Four words. Connected to the title/plot. Clever twist on a common saying. It’s a master class.)

Keyword(s) – European Remake

Top 10: 12 Monkeys (1995), The Italian Job (2003), Insomnia (2002), Scent of a Woman (1992), Clash of the Titans (2010), Some Like It Hot (1959), Vanilla Sky (2001), True Lies (1994), Dawn of the Dead (2004), The Tourist (2010)

Future BMT: 54.5 Eye of the Beholder (1999), 54.0 Downhill (2020), 49.2 The Omen (2006), 44.8 Catch That Kid (2004), 43.1 Diabolique (1996), 43.0 Village of the Damned (1995), 41.8 I Think I Love My Wife (2007), 41.2 Clash of the Titans (2010), 41.2 Mixed Nuts (1994), 39.8 Intersection (1994)

BMT: The Wicker Man (2006), Taxi (2004), The Haunting (1999), Get Carter (2000), Jungle 2 Jungle (1997), Pathfinder (2007), Fathers’ Day (1997), Nine Months (1995), The Big Wedding (2013), Brick Mansions (2014), Sleepless (2017), The Blue Lagoon (1980), School for Scoundrels (2006), Original Sin (2001), Blame It on Rio (1984), The Loft (2014), Vanilla Sky (2001), Wicker Park (2004)

Best Options (Razzies (Picture, Actor, Actress)): 39.8 Intersection (1994), 32.3 Original Sin (2001), 17.2 Oscar (1991), 15.6 Jakob the Liar (1999)

(We are going to watch Oscar next week as a transition. I wanted a Worst Actress nod in particular anyways to go with Swept Away. That BMT list is getting gaudy!)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 12) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Angelina Jolie is No. 1 billed in Original Sin and No. 3 billed in Gone in Sixty Seconds, which also stars Nicolas Cage (No. 1 billed) who is in The Wicker Man (No. 1 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 5 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (1 + 3) + (1 + 1) + (5 + 1) = 12. If we were to watch The Bone Collector we can get the HoE Number down to 11.

Notes – The plantation house was a real sugar cane plantation manor, albeit abandoned.

Michelle Pfeiffer’s production company had originally purchased the rights to the novel, with the intention that Pfeiffer herself would star. However, the actress opted to simply serve as producer on the film.

Director Michael Cristofer said in interviews, and in his commentary for the movie, that before the sex scene between Luis and Julia was filmed, Angelina Jolie told him that she would only film the scene if she was fully naked and without tapes or anything else to cover her up. Antonio Banderas also decided to do the scene fully naked after talking with them, and only Cristofer and a couple of more crew members were involved in filming it. This meant that lot of footage filmed for the scene, however, could not be used in the film because it was just too graphic and explicit to show onscreen. Cristofer said he was unable to even include it in the NC-17 unrated version, which is why in all versions of the film, the sex scene has very obvious cuts which are covered with editing and fade outs in between the shots. This was also where the rumor started about how Jolie and Banderas had unsimulated sex, which was said to have been another reason for why the scene was cut down. Cristofer said he still had copy of original cut of the film which, amongst other deleted scenes, also included the original uncut sex scene.

In December 2000, Ted Casablanca from E! Online reported how the infamous uncut version of sex scene between Jolie and Banderas was, on its own, 20 minutes long.

This film was a remake of François Truffaut’s Mississippi Mermaid (1969), starring Jean-Paul Belmondo and Catherine Deneuve.

This was the last film produced under Michelle Pfeiffer’s production company, Via Rosa Productions.

Awards – Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Actress (Angelina Jolie, 2002)

School for Scoundrels (2006) Preview

Jamie, Patrick and the rest of the team backflip their way into the Fortress. Halfway through his third backflip, however, Patrick notices something is off. “Stop! Stop backflipping!” he yells and once everyone is reoriented they notice the same thing. The halls of the school building are completely empty. Their steps ring out in the empty hallways until they finally reach a set of heavy steel doors. Jamie and Patrick fling them open, instantly bathes in an eerie blue light emanating from the doorway. They gasp. They find themselves in the ethereal beauty of a submarine pen. A submarine pen? On the grounds of the school? But why? Suddenly they begin to hear the cracking sounds of slow clapping and from behind the submarine emerges Jamie and Patrick themselves. But it can’t be, can it? “No, my sweet Bad Movie Twins, you haven’t been betrayed by yourselves. We have won!” the Jamie double cackles, before they both pull off their latex masks. Jamie and Patrick aren’t surprised to see it’s actually two Mikey Time Cops. The Time Cops pull their guns and laugh maniacally, but Jamie and Patrick just smirk. “Sure, sure, you’re gonna shoot,” Patrick says before they both theatrically motion for one of them to kick the other in the testicles. And yet nothing happens. “Oh shit,” Jamie mutters, “are you both bad Mikey Time Cops?” They nod, confused as to what else they would be. This looks like the end for our heroes. But wait! Suddenly there is a loud pop and from a hole in the sky a large machine falls and crushes the bad Mikey’s. Out from the steaming time machine walks Lou Cash. “You did it you scoundrels!” he screams, much to the delight and confusion of everyone there. That’s right! We are watching School for Scoundrels as a transition to the next cycle: Films adapted from European films a.k.a. Merde. We got so very close to getting a roster of all French films, but could resist a couple out of the box. So let’s sit back and enjoy School for Scoundrels adapted from the 1960 British film, School for Scoundrels. Let’s go!

School for Scoundrels (2006) – BMeTric: 33.2; Notability: 55

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 24.8%; Notability: top 8.0%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 27.1%; Higher BMeT: Date Movie, The Wicker Man, Ultraviolet, Pledge This!, Little Man, Basic Instinct 2, Material Girls, Zoom, Big Momma’s House 2, The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause, Black Christmas, The Marine, The Shaggy Dog, DOA: Dead or Alive, Pulse, Phat Girlz, Eragon, Scary Movie 4, The Grudge 2, Van Wilder: The Rise of Taj, and 42 more; Higher Notability: Poseidon, The Wild, The Da Vinci Code, Eragon, Scary Movie 4, The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift, Happily N’Ever After, Click, The Pink Panther, Smokin’ Aces, The Guardian, The Black Dahlia, The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause, Garfield: A Tail of Two Kitties, Zoom, The Shaggy Dog, A Good Year, Lady in the Water, Factory Girl, All the King’s Men; Lower RT: The Contract, Kiss Me Again, Karla, Pledge This!, Material Girls, Happily N’Ever After, The Covenant, Zoom, Big Momma’s House 2, Deck the Halls, Basic Instinct 2, Date Movie, Van Wilder: The Rise of Taj, Gray Matters, Ultraviolet, When a Stranger Calls, See No Evil, Annapolis, Stay Alive, Pulse, and 47 more; Notes: Way higher IMDb rating that I expected, but sticking nicely below/around 6.0. The Notability is off the chain though! Solid for a comedy.

Leonard Maltin – 2 stars – Nerdy guy who lets people step all over him is recruited by a mysterious entrepreneur who runs a class for worms in need of turning. But our would-be hero isn’t prepared for his “teacher” to start playing dirty tricks on him. Most contemporary comedies are too crude for our taste, but this one is terminally bland and never takes off as it repeatedly promises to do. Remake of the 1960 British comedy.

(Interesting. I think if this is made today it is probably very heartfelt, while also being crude (but in a way that teaches the hero that it is worth it not to be, you know?). I am surprised though, I would have figured this was just the right year to have a horrible no-good remake of a film like School for Scoundrels that aged horribly.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jh-nQKB8fwg/

(A hard r in the trailer itself really is a bold move. The mid-00s were a wild time. Also the film looks aggressively not funny.)

Directors – Todd Phillips – ( Known For: Joker; The Hangover; War Dogs; Road Trip; Old School; Starsky & Hutch; Future BMT: The Hangover Part II; Due Date; The Hangover Part III; BMT: School for Scoundrels; Notes: Apparently he originally directed Borat, but quit due to creative differences with Cohen.)

Writers – Todd Phillips – ( Known For: Joker; War Dogs; Road Trip; Old School; Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan; Starsky & Hutch; Future BMT: The Hangover Part II; Due Date; The Hangover Part III; BMT: School for Scoundrels; Notes: Nominated for four Oscars, three for Joker, and one for the original Borat.)

Scot Armstrong – ( Known For: Road Trip; Old School; Starsky & Hutch; Search Party; Future BMT: The Heartbreak Kid; The Hangover Part II; Semi-Pro; BMT: School for Scoundrels; Notes: Wrote some sort of remake of Problem Child? There isn’t even a poster on IMDb, so I can’t even make fun of that.)

Hal E. Chester – ( Known For: Curse of the Demon; School for Scoundrels; The Weapon; Crashout; Joe Palooka, Champ; Gentleman Joe Palooka; BMT: School for Scoundrels; Notes: Wrote the original. Was uncredited here, which is interesting since he was somehow still alive when this was made! He was 85 years old.)

Patricia Moyes – ( Known For: School for Scoundrels; BMT: School for Scoundrels; Notes: Irish, and similarly wrote the original. Died in 2000, so didn’t get to see this made.)

Stephen Potter – ( Known For: School for Scoundrels; The Shipbuilders; BMT: School for Scoundrels; Notes: Wrote the original novels that the original film was based on. Obviously wasn’t alive for this film, he would have been 106. That would have been a trick. He died in 1969.)

Actors – Billy Bob Thornton – ( Known For: Tombstone; Love Actually; Princess Mononoke; Blood In, Blood Out; Monster’s Ball; Friday Night Lights; Sling Blade; The Judge; Puss in Boots; Dead Man; The Informers; A Simple Plan; The Baytown Outlaws; U Turn; Faster; The Man Who Wasn’t There; Bad Santa; Intolerable Cruelty; Parkland; Whiskey Tango Foxtrot; Future BMT: London Fields; Indecent Proposal; Entourage; Eagle Eye; Our Brand Is Crisis; The Alamo; Bad Santa 2; BMT: Armageddon; Going Overboard; On Deadly Ground; School for Scoundrels; Mr. Woodcock; Notes: From Arkansas, won an Oscar for writing Sling Blade. Has been married six times, including to Angelina Jolie famously.)

Jon Heder – ( Known For: Napoleon Dynamite; Just Like Heaven; Blades of Glory; Monster House; Surf’s Up; Reality; The Sasquatch Gang; Walt Before Mickey; Mama’s Boy; For Ellen; Life Happens; Christmas Eve; Ghost Team; Weepah Way for Now; Bling; Legend of Kung Fu Rabbit; The Tiger Hunter; Unexpected Race; The Little Penguin Pororo’s Racing Adventure; Moving McAllister; BMT: The Benchwarmers; When in Rome; School for Scoundrels; Notes: Became famous for Napoleon Dynamite. Does a lot of voice acting these days.)

Jacinda Barrett – ( Known For: The Last Kiss; Hide and Seek; Middle Men; New York, I Love You; The Human Stain; The Namesake; Ladder 49; Campfire Tales; Ripley Under Ground; Seven in Heaven; Matching Jack; So B. It; BMT: Poseidon; Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason; Urban Legends: Final Cut; School for Scoundrels; Notes: From Australia, and was on the fourth season of The Real World, which took place in London. Hasn’t done much since the show Bloodline ended in 2017.)

Budget/Gross – $35,000,000 / Domestic: $17,807,569 (Worldwide: $24,470,583)

(Not great at all. And given the absurdly stacked comedy cast this film sports, that budget makes perfect sense.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 26% (36/138): School for Scoundrels squanders its talented cast with a formulaic, unfocused attempt at a romantic comedy that’s neither romantic nor funny.

(A talented cast indeed. Just watch the trailer. David Cross, Paul Sheer, Matt Walsh, etc.! It is crazy good.)

Reviewer Highlight: It feels as if director Phillips was scrounging desperately for morsels with comic potential and came up empty-handed. – Claudia Puig, USA Today

Poster – Howls for Hooligans

(Wow, that’s a bad poster. Like F level bad. Funny cause that’s not typically the poster I think of for the film, but sometimes it’s difficult to figure what was really used to advertise. There are so many words. But fine, the font has a little vim and vigor so it’s a D.)

Tagline(s) – Too nice? Too honest? Too you? Help is on the way. (B)

(It’s too long, but otherwise it’s actually not bad in concept. Like it’s got a rule of three in there. Also it is a little clever curveball. All good things and then saying don’t worry, this asshole will help you. Just needed to figure out a way to tighten it up and make it flow.)

Keyword(s) – dimension

Top 10: Sin City (2005), Spectre (2015), The Others (2001), Scream (1996), Equilibrium (2002), From Dusk Till Dawn (1996), The Mist (2007), Death Proof (2007), 1408 (2007), Scary Movie (2000)

Future BMT: 86.6 The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl 3-D (2005), 82.8 Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World (2011), 77.5 Who’s Your Caddy? (2007), 77.0 Superhero Movie (2008), 70.1 Black Christmas (2006), 68.6 Pulse (2006), 66.9 The Crow: City of Angels (1996), 64.9 Scary Movie 4 (2006), 61.8 Cursed (2005), 59.0 Apollo 18 (2011)

BMT: Scary Movie V (2013), Halloween: Resurrection (2002), Highlander: The Final Dimension (1994), Halloween II (2009), Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers (1995), My Boss’s Daughter (2003), Highlander: Endgame (2000), Dracula 2000 (2000), Hellraiser: Bloodline (1996), Air Bud: Golden Receiver (1998), Phantoms (1998), Boys and Girls (2000), Texas Rangers (2001), Reindeer Games (2000), Halloween (2007), School for Scoundrels (2006), Fortress (1992), Senseless (1998), Impostor (2001), Mindhunters (2004)

Best Options (European Remake): 33.2 School for Scoundrels (2006)

(Oh yeah! The only one available baby! Indeed we had to move School for Scoundrels from the comedy spot because it needed to be here. It is a bit insane just how many Dimension films we have left. We could almost make a whole new cycle from it … might be missing a romance. Unclear.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 13) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Michael Clarke Duncan is No. 5 billed in School for Scoundrels and No. 4 billed in Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li, which also stars Chris Klein (No. 2 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 2 billed) => (5 + 4) + (2 + 2) = 13. There is no shorter path at the moment.

Notes – Ben Stiller’s cameo was shot in two days in California because he was unable to fly to New York for filming, due to a scheduling conflict.

Director Todd Phillips first offered the lead role to Howard Stern (Phillips is a big Stern fan), but Stern had to turn it down because he was about to leave terrestrial radio for satellite radio and did not have the time to film a movie. The role eventually went to Billy Bob Thornton.

Diego (Horatio Sanz) says, “Things are going to change, I can feel it,” quoting Beck’s song, “Loser.”

Aziz Ansari’s unnamed character’s only dialogue is a short scene with fellow classmate Ernie (Jon Glaser). The two actors would later have major roles in NBC’s “Parks and Recreation” as Tom Haverford and Councilman Jeremy Jamm respectively.

To date, this is Todd Phillips’s only movie that isn’t distributed by DreamWorks or Warner Bros.

Dr. P’s rules “From the Bar to your Bed” are: Be dangerous, it’s cool. No compliments, *ever*. Always get the girl alone. Wherever you are, the place is lame! Relate to her. Lie, lie, and lie some more. (Gross)

Imposter Preview

“You senseless idiot!” Patrick says in dismay. Kyle was their last chance to save the world. He had already come to the conclusion that the HoE dimension was so powerful that it would burn out any time machine that found its way there. Kyle’s story only confirmed it. Now they were all stuck here. “Well that’s OK, Patrick, it’s really not so bad here. Unexpectedly pleasant in fact,” Kyle says, sharing a sweet moment with his beloved Rachel. Rachel smiles back, but after a second her smile starts to waver and she begins to weep. Kyle is shocked. “It’s just so wonderful here. What if we go back and our family can’t…” Rachel’s voice breaks. Kyle reassures her that they don’t have to go anywhere, but Jamie and Patrick have a job to do. “We have to help them if we can. Isn’t that why we went back in the first place?” She nods and tells them about the Hallston Academy building. Kids come and go, real baseball games during the day, imaginary baseball games at night. “Classic high school stuff, go on,” Patrick encourages. But when Rachel picks up the kids at school she’s noticed another building. One down by the lake. No one ever comes. No one ever goes. “And armed guards are always nearby,” Rachel finishes, her voice now a whisper. But Kyle sadly shakes his head, “it’s been fifteen years, Rachel, I can know when you are holding back. You need to tell them.” She takes a deep breath. “There are two people I’ve seen come and go. I’m sorry I never told you, dear, but I didn’t want to spoil our dream. Those people were…” and suddenly she looks straight at Jamie and Patrick, “the bad movie twins!” Kyle turns to them, enraged. “Imposters!” That’s right! We are watching the classic *checks notes* Gary Sinise vehicle… wait, that can’t be right… alright, well the Gary Sinise sci-fi vehicle we all know and love. He’s an imposter… or is he? You better believe they’re gonna try to twist us up. Let’s go!

Impostor (2001) – BMeTric: 23.7; Notability: 67

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 25.6%; Notability: top 1.6%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 22.2%; Higher BMeT: Glitter, Jason X, Freddy Got Fingered, Driven, The Animal, Ghosts of Mars, Black Knight, Valentine, Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles, Soul Survivors, Monkeybone, The Musketeer, Corky Romano, Scary Movie 2, The Wedding Planner, Bones, Summer Catch, The Order, Say It Isn’t So, The Wash, and 44 more; Higher Notability: Pearl Harbor, Monkeybone, Lara Croft: Tomb Raider, Hannibal; Lower RT: Texas Rangers, Soul Survivors, Glitter, Corky Romano, The Forsaken, Summer Catch, The Wash, Out Cold, Say It Isn’t So, Joe Dirt, Head Over Heels, Megiddo: The Omega Code 2, What’s the Worst That Could Happen?, Freddy Got Fingered, Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles, Perfume, The Musketeer, Valentine, Double Take, Original Sin, and 33 more; Notes: I’m not surprised at how high the rating is here. I am shocked by how high the Notability. Jeez Louise! It is on Hannibal or Tomb Raider levels! That’s nuts.

Leonard Maltin – BOMB – Is Sinise an alien spy impersonating a scientist married to Stowe in 2079? The movie’s distributor apparently didn’t think anyone cared enough to find out, because this malnourished Philip K. Dick adaptation sat on the shelf for more than a year. Most interesting features are the near home appliances in the early scenes, which include a voice-activated wall-screen TV that shuts off on command. You should be so lucky when watching this movie at home.

(Wow! Harsh. I would have never expected this to get a BOMB from Leonard. It seems maybe light-fare or boring, but he’s given really terrible horror films 1.5 just being like “I didn’t vomit while watching this film which is a plus.” But this is malnourished? A BOMB it is I guess.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vh6xFG7l8ss/

(The trailer is very weird. It makes it look incredibly cheap and poorly put together. Which is maybe why Leonard gave it a BOMB I suppose.)

Directors – Gary Fleder – ( Known For: Runaway Jury; Homefront; Things to Do in Denver When You’re Dead; The Express; Future BMT: Don’t Say a Word; BMT: Kiss the Girls; Impostor; Notes: Hmmm, he still does a lot of television (and maybe movies, although I’m skeptical his In Production work will be actually released in the end). In particular he did a Lincoln Rhyme television series which is basically the Bone Collector, which is rather intriguing … although me having never heard of it is probably a bad sign for its quality.)

Writers – Philip K. Dick – ( Known For: Blade Runner 2049; Blade Runner; Minority Report; Total Recall; The Adjustment Bureau; A Scanner Darkly; Radio Free Albemuth; Natural City; Morning Patrol; Barjo; Future BMT: Next; Screamers; BMT: Paycheck; Impostor; Notes: Probably a top ten most famous sci-fi writers ever. He won a Hugo Award for The Man in the High Castle, and was nominated for five Nebula Awards. Given that we’ve almost completed his BMT filmography with two films, his work tends to produce good films as well.)

Scott Rosenberg – ( Known For: Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle; Jumanji: The Next Level; Con Air; High Fidelity; Beautiful Girls; Things to Do in Denver When You’re Dead; Highway; Future BMT: Venom; Disturbing Behavior; BMT: Gone in 60 Seconds; Kangaroo Jack; Impostor; Notes: He mostly does blockbusters, and he did a lot of television from 2000-2015. Good friends with Fleder who he went to Boston University with. Somewhat notably was the “other person” involved in a bar brawl where Steve Buscemi was stabbed three times.)

Caroline Case – ( BMT: Impostor; Notes: Was a television writer on The Tom Show and The Army Show, but besides that she mostly did script and continuity work on Gary Fleder films. He also produced her documentary on William Goldman.)

Ehren Kruger – ( Known For: Top Gun: Maverick; The Ring; Ghost in the Shell; Scream 3; Dumbo; Arlington Road; New World Disorder; Future BMT: Transformers: Dark of the Moon; Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen; The Skeleton Key; The Brothers Grimm; Blood and Chocolate; BMT: Transformers: Age of Extinction; The Ring Two; Reindeer Games; Impostor; Razzie Notes: Winner for Worst Screenplay for Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen in 2010; and Nominee for Worst Screenplay in 2012 for Transformers: Dark of the Moon; and in 2015 for Transformers: Age of Extinction; Notes: The writer of the biggest movie of the year! He is a blockbuster machine, and that will likely continue to be the case given that Top Gun 2 is going to make more than a billion dollars.)

David Twohy – ( Known For: The Fugitive; Waterworld; Pitch Black; Riddick; G.I. Jane; A Perfect Getaway; The Arrival; Below; Warlock; Grand Tour: Disaster in Time; Arrival II; Future BMT: The Chronicles of Riddick; Warlock: The Armageddon; BMT: Critters 2; Terminal Velocity; Impostor; Notes: Wait they got the writer of the Fugitive to get involved with this? That’s nuts. He has a film coming out called Ice Moon Rising which seems insane.)

Actors – Shane Brolly – ( Known For: Spread; Room 6; Flypaper; Rennie’s Landing; Devil’s Highway; 48 Angels; Future BMT: Underworld; Underworld: Evolution; Underworld: Rise of the Lycans; BMT: Impostor; Notes: Wow, it’s been a while since we got someone who is definitely not a lead actor sneaking into a preview. I’m going to leave it. He wrote a book called “You’d Think There Would Be More Suicides Around Here”.)

Vincent D’Onofrio – ( Known For: Jurassic World; Full Metal Jacket; The Magnificent Seven; Sinister; The Unforgivable; The Eyes of Tammy Faye; Men in Black; Ed Wood; Adventures in Babysitting; JFK; The Cell; Escape Plan; The Judge; The Player; Mystic Pizza; Strange Days; Run All Night; The Salton Sea; Chained; Kill the Irishman; Future BMT: The Break-Up; The Thirteenth Floor; Dying Young; Feeling Minnesota; BMT: Death Wish; CHIPS; Rings; Impostor; Stuart Saves His Family; Notes: Somewhat notable now as Kingpin and being one of the rare examples of an actor crossing from the Netflix Marvel series (Daredevil) into the Disney canonical series (Hawkeye). He was nominated for an Emmy for Homicide: Life on the Street, and then spent a decade as the lead in Law & Order: Criminal Intent.)

Gary Sinise – ( Known For: Forrest Gump; The Green Mile; Apollo 13; Captain America: The Winter Soldier; The Quick and the Dead; Joe Bell; Of Mice and Men; Ransom; I Still Believe; Open Season; Snake Eyes; The Human Stain; Albino Alligator; The Big Bounce; A Midnight Clear; A Wedding; SGT. Will Gardner; Bruno; All the Rage; Future BMT: Mission to Mars; The Forgotten; Jack the Bear; BMT: Reindeer Games; Impostor; Notes: I’m willing to bet a huge number of people know his exclusively from Forrest Gump (for which he was nominated for an Oscar), but he is an extremely notable actor (from things as lauded as Of Mice and Men for example). He was nominated for two Emmys (and won one of them) for Truman and George Wallace as the titular characters in both. He was the lead in nearly 200 episodes of CSI: NY and for the single season of Criminal Minds: Beyond Borders.)

Budget/Gross – $30,000,000 / Domestic: $6,285,176 (Worldwide: $8,694,320)

(Horrible. It sat on the shelf for a year, probably because they didn’t know what to do with it or how to advertise it. I bet the $30 million figure it accurate given the behind the scenes stuff I saw, it seemed really expensive from a set perspective. But I’m sure they just dumped it with no advertising campaign at all as well.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 24% (23/96): With its low production value and uninspired direction, Impostor comes off as a mixture of The Fugitive and Blade Runner, only not as good or as involving.

(Yeah, it does seem like it is just a future Fugitive with less compelling leads. And if the trailer is to be believed it definitely looks cheap as well. So fair all around.)

Reviewer Highlight: Pushes the same old cliches in Blade Runner packaging. – Peter Travers, Rolling Stone

Poster – Alium Copycat

(I find this poster both nicely made and hilarious. Nicely made because the artistry of it is interesting, the color scheme is good, and it hits in a nice “classic poster” kind of way. Hilarious because of the tiny Gary Sinise running out of an explosion. If I wanted a funny poster based project to embark on it would be posters like this where an actor appears more than once. Double Sinise. Font is bad, which is a shame. B-.)

Tagline(s) – In the Future, not everyone is who they seem to be. (F)

(My God, unacceptable. Usually something that is total nonsense is at least fun cause it’s nonsense. This is boring nonsense. Booooo.)

Keyword(s) – dimension

Top 10: Sin City (2005), Spectre (2015), The Others (2001), Scream (1996), Equilibrium (2002), From Dusk Till Dawn (1996), The Mist (2007), Death Proof (2007), 1408 (2007), Scary Movie (2000)

BMT: Scary Movie V (2013), Halloween: Resurrection (2002), Highlander: The Final Dimension (1994), Halloween II (2009), Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers (1995), My Boss’s Daughter (2003), Highlander: Endgame (2000), Dracula 2000 (2000), Hellraiser: Bloodline (1996), Air Bud: Golden Receiver (1998), Phantoms (1998), Boys and Girls (2000), Texas Rangers (2001), Reindeer Games (2000), Halloween (2007), Senseless (1998), Impostor (2001), Mindhunters (2004)

Best Options (future): 33.0 Fortress (1992), 23.7 Impostor (2001)

(The question kind of is whether we’ll ever watch a 2005 or 2006 film … Looking at the list the prognosis is negative. We just love the 90s and early 2000s so much! You might be shocked (shocked!) that we didn’t pick the Christopher Lambert future prison movie classic, Fortress, but no worries, that is next week.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 17) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Gary Sinise is No. 1 billed in Impostor and No. 2 billed in Reindeer Games, which also stars Ben Affleck (No. 1 billed) who is in Gigli (No. 1 billed) which also stars Al Pacino (No. 7 billed) who is in 88 Minutes (No. 1 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (1 + 2) + (1 + 1) + (7 + 1) + (3 + 1) = 17. If we were to watch Pearl Harbor we can get the HoE Number down to 11.

Notes – Young Spencer Olham is played by Mac Sinise, Gary Sinise’s son.

The adaptation of Philip K. Dick’s short story “The Impostor” was originally planned to be one segment (about forty minutes) of a three-part science fiction movie. The production company liked the early “dailies” so much, that the idea was fleshed out into a feature-length film. The other segments grew into the features Mimic (1997) and Alien Love Triangle (2008).

In the opening scene of the movie, footage of soldiers is taken from the 1997 film Starship Troopers (1997); and footage of a crater, with other explosions is taken from the film Armageddon.

A street scene is filmed in a courtyard of Cal Poly Pomona’s administration building, the same one used for Jude Law’s apartment building in Gattaca (1997). Several students and staff of Cal Poly Pomona were used as extras for this scene.

Spencer Olham is said to be “very good at integral and differential calculus.” This is a tongue-in-cheek reference to Gilbert and Sullivan’s musical “Pirates of Penzance” from the famously silly patter-song “Modern Major General.” (The line from the song is, “I am very good at integral and differential calculus, I know the scientific names of being animalculus…”)

The operating room set was also used in Logan’s Run.

Maya Olham watches a televised news report that refers to a Ballard space institute – a reference to J.G. Ballard, the British science fiction writer.

The helmets that security forces wears are also the helmets worn in Starship Troopers (1997).

The film takes place in 2079.

Originally intended to be Miramax’s big Christmas movie for 2001, the film got delayed to January just days before it was set to open due to last-minute edits on Kate & Leopold (2001), which forced that film to take this film’s original date.