It was all so hard to comprehend. Could it be that they could be scapegoated as the bad guys in an effort to continue the never ending cycle of BMT? That someday they’d be laughing it up in their villa in Stockholm or Athens or Mozambique or wherever and suddenly a couple of new, rad Bad Movie Twins would twin chop them down to take their place? “It’s… impossible!” Jamie screams again in anguish, but he and Patrick also know that there was truth there. Things had gotten so… complicated. Deep down they could feel that Lou Cash was right. They solemnly nod their heads and quickly jot down a note for Kyle and Rachel. “Give this to them when the time is right,” Patrick explains and Lou Cash says he will. Jamie and Patrick predator high five in case it’s the last time they’ll ever get a chance and climb into the Deconvoluting Machine. As it powers on, things warp and change around them. One second they are children and the next old men. Their lives and all their many future lives flash before their eyes. Fighting Scott Bakula, winning the 2033 Nobel Peace Prize, working Predator Patrol, exploring Mars, and walking the sands of the wastelands of the BMTverse. Tears stream down their faces as they realize the knife’s edge they had been walking, the horror of where they were heading and yet always keeping at bay the chaos that is the ultimate product of the power of the Dongle. The feeling was that of riding a rocket into space, their bodies pushed against their seats to the point of near unconsciousness. And just when it felt like they would succumb to the pressure… they fell. That’s right! We were very happy to see that the After franchise continued this year with the third in the series After We Fell. It’s the story of a love and honestly I remember kinda liking the second entry. Somehow it managed a very brief wide release in theaters so we thought it would be fun to pair it up with Woman in the Window as Bring a Friend. That film was meant to be a wide release film, but ultimately after a number of reshoots it was released to Netflix instead. Let’s go!
After We Fell (2021) – BMeTric: 51.9; Notability: 16
StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 4.8%; Notability: top 11.6%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 0.0%; Higher BMeT: Space Jam: A New Legacy, Thunder Force, Home Sweet Home Alone, He’s All That, Cosmic Sin, Deadly Illusions, Music, Awake, The Misfits, Spiral, The Unholy, Tom and Jerry; Higher Notability: Space Jam: A New Legacy, Tom and Jerry, Music, Chaos Walking, Infinite, The Addams Family 2, Home Sweet Home Alone, Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard, Red Notice, Dear Evan Hansen, Snake Eyes, Sweet Girl, Cherry, The Starling, Thunder Force, The Unforgivable, Reminiscence, The Birthday Cake, The Woman in the Window, Voyagers, and 9 more; Notes: Yeeeeeeeeeeah. The BMeTric is becoming slightly more important from a bad movie perspective as so many films don’t qualify, but are major releases. Impressive 0%, and impressive this actually did get released (for one day) at over 600 theaters.
AV Club – D – For those keeping track at home, we’re now three installments deep into a franchise that started as One Direction fan fiction before morphing into a sort of Fifty Shades Of Grey for teenagers. … The problem is that most of After We Fell is too boring to even lend itself to mockery. The movie comes close to the right lack of self-awareness in a scene where Hardin watches in increasing sexual fervor as Tessa does some basic white girl hip-swaying at an office party. But you’ve got to sit through an awful lot of stilted scene work to get there.
(Boring isn’t good. But jokes on them, I love this kind of garbage and I’m also in too deep. I’ve seen the other two and I would watch a season of After webisodes if they were served to me in a convenient manner. I mean, I wouldn’t pay for them, but I would secretly watch them and then tell my wife about them for an hour one night when I got drunk. That would happen.)
(Man that seems dramatic. Glad to see Hardin still punching people. Such a bad boy. So broken. So sexy.)
Directors – Castille Landon – ( Known For: Fear of Rain; BMT: After We Fell; Notes: She appears to be a major director for the new Wattpad film studio. She is slated to direct Perfect Addiction, about a boxing trainer who trains her ex-boyfriend’s foe after she learns her ex cheated on her. She is also directing the next two After sequels and the prequel.)
Writers – Anna Todd – ( Known For: After We Collided; BMT: After We Fell; After; Notes: The writer of the book which was originally One Direction fanfiction on Wattpad which makes sense that it is part of Wattpad Productions. Is Wattpad Productions the house that After built? Probably.)
Sharon Soboil – ( BMT: After We Fell; Notes: Also wrote the sequel. Has another film in production called Of Corset’s Mine.)
Actors – Josephine Langford – ( Known For: After We Collided; Moxie; Future BMT: Wish Upon; BMT: After We Fell; After; Notes: Australian, her sister is also an actress and was the star of 13 Reasons Why. Is in the next film, but doesn’t seem to be contracted for the other two (and I don’t know if her character is necessarily in those).)
Hero Fiennes Tiffin – ( Known For: Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince; After We Collided; The Silencing; Private Peaceful; Bigga Than Ben; BMT: After We Fell; After; Notes: Yup, he’s the nephew of Ralph Fiennes. He is also not contracted for the other two films, so I assume it follows a different After Cinematic Universe story of some kind. He’s slated for a few films which sound like direct-to-Netflix fare.)
Louise Lombard – ( Known For: After We Collided; Hidalgo; Tale of the Mummy; My Kingdom; Lichnyy nomer; BMT: After We Fell; Notes: Ah, she plays Hardin’s mother. I’m pretty surprised she is a bit part of this one. She was a British star to some degree it looks like, starring in The House of Eliott.)
Budget/Gross – N/A / Domestic: $2,170,750 (Worldwide: $21,782,642)
(That is a lot more money than I expected. I think Wattpad Productions will be okay …)
Rotten Tomatoes – 0% (0/11)
(Ooooo I get to make a consensus: A boring barely-movie with boring sex. Uh-oh … that seems bad.)
Reviewer Highlight: Should come with a warning to viewers: contains extremely boring sex. – Cath Clarke, Guardian
Poster – After We Smelled
(I was hoping they would return to the form of the first film and give us an ultra sexy poster. But alas, just a poster smeared with Vaseline. Font is the only thing I’m digging and doesn’t nearly approach the hilarity of this alternate poster for the second film.)
Tagline – None.
(F obviously. And no, I don’t consider ‘Based on the Best-Selling Worldwide Phenomenon’ a tagline cause that would still be an F.)
Keyword(s) – based-on-young-adult-novel
Top 10: Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone (2001), Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (2005), Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 (2011), Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004), Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (2002), The Hunger Games (2012), Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (2007), Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1 (2010), Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (2009), After We Fell (2021)
Future BMT: 43.9 Allegiant (2016), 38.0 Cirque du Freak: The Vampire’s Assistant (2009), 37.3 Chaos Walking (2021), 37.1 The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones (2013), 33.8 How to Deal (2003), 30.4 Mortal Engines (2018), 27.7 The Divergent Series: Insurgent (2015), 14.5 If I Stay (2014)
BMT: After We Fell (2021), The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1 (2011), I Am Number Four (2011), The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009), The Host (2013), The 5th Wave (2016), Vampire Academy (2014), The Darkest Minds (2018), Beastly (2011)
(The no matches would be expected haha. God there are so many still to do. How to Deal seems exciting. The plot is awesome, just nothing prior to 2000 (was there no designation or something?). And the genre died, although I would guess that it has just moved to streaming in general. You will be sorely missed, but maybe Wattpad can save it! I hope so, these films are hilarious.)
Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 21) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Stephen Moyer is No. 7 billed in After We Fell and No. 10 billed in 88 Minutes, which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (7 + 10) + (3 + 1) = 21. If we were to watch The Replacement Killers we can get the HoE Number down to 17.
Notes – Due to the Covid-19 Pandemic, After We Fell (2021) was shot back to back with the final film After Ever Happy (2022) in Sofia, (Bulgaria) as opposed to Atlanta, Georgia (USA) where the first 2 movies were filmed. Sofia was chosen due to low cases and was considered Covid safe at the time.
Stephen Moyer replaces Charlie Weber as Christian Vance. Mira Sorvino replaces Selma Blair as Carol Young. Chance Perdono replaces Shane Paul McGhie as Landon. Arielle Kebbel replaces Candace King as Kimberley. (This might get confusing)