Tom and Jerry Preview

Jamie and Patrick use their Bad Movie Twins power to sense the Obsidian Dongle. It rises from the roiling sea of dongles and floats towards them as that piece of shit hack Manfred Long scrambles after it howling in rage. But he’s too slow and Jamie and Patrick grab the Dongle and point it at Manfred, now quivering in fear of their power. Kyle places a hand on their shoulder. “You don’t have to do this,” he says. Rachel and Lindsey Appleton rush in and also tell them to stop. “We can all protect the Dongle together, don’t use its power for evil,” they say. Patrick and Jamie look at each other and then back at them, “show us,” they say. With that Kyle shows them how with their intricate plot they were able to successfully get his brother approved for RT review status. With a click of a button the new Rich & Poe film goes to exactly 40%. Jamie and Patrick smile. Rich and Poe live another day. But they’re not done. Lindsey shows them how with her hardscrabble reporting she’s able to take the buzz from the SexyMannequinTimes.com review and blow out the RT score from 40% to 46%. “They aren’t just safe today, they’re safe forever,” she says. But Rachel’s not finished as she delivers piping hot soft pretzels for everyone. “Friendship,” she says and Jamie and Patrick nod in appreciation of the value she brings to the team. Jamie and Patrick grasp hands and instead of destroying Manfred they use the Dongle to create a perfect job for him. “Congratulations, Manfred,” they say, “or should we say, the writer of the new Tom & Jerry adaptation.” Manfred wipes his eyes. “Thank you, I won’t let you down. I’ll make a much better adaptation than last one.” That’s right! We’re watching Tom & Jerry from this very year. There have been some hits in a very weird year for film and this was one of them. But fortunately for us it was not a critical hit. As we head into this cycle we should be clear that it won’t all be from this year, but like last year a mix of current films and films celebrating some anniversary. Just not enough qualifying wide releases to make a full cycle unfortunately. Let’s go!

Tom & Jerry: The Movie (2021) – BMeTric: 52.2; Notability: 59

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 4.4%; Notability: top 0.4%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 18.1%; Higher BMeT: Space Jam: A New Legacy, Thunder Force, He’s All That, Cosmic Sin, Deadly Illusions, Music, Awake, The Kissing Booth 3, The Misfits, Spiral: From the Book of Saw, Tom & Jerry: The Movie; Higher Notability: Space Jam: A New Legacy; Lower RT: Out of Death, Rogue Hostage, The Devil Below, Cosmic Sin, Vanquish, Separation, Music, Midnight in the Switchgrass, After We Fell, Breaking News in Yuba County, Axis Sally, Deadly Illusions, Infinite, Die in a Gunfight, Zone 414, The Virtuoso, The Misfits, Paranormal Activity: Next of Kin, Sweet Girl, The Starling, and 19 more; Notes: Obviously for 2021 this is right up there. Impressive notability at least. Less impressive that it is definitely a dumb kids’ film, ugh.

RogerEbert.com – 1.0 stars – Aggressively mediocre, the updated version of “Tom & Jerry” that premieres in theaters and on HBO Max today is a depressing affair, a film that reminds one of similarly hollow uses of beloved properties like “Yogi Bear” and “The Smurfs.” Although at least those knew to focus on their timeless characters. “Tom & Jerry” barely understands the physical comedy that made the cat and mouse first-round entries in the animated Hall of Fame, focusing instead on a celebrity wedding at a fancy New York hotel and the people who work there. A few sequences of classic T&J comedy aren’t nearly enough to make up for the dull plotting and flat characters in this soulless product, one that will fail equally for adults who grew up on Tom and Jerry, and their kids who have never heard of these characters.

(Wow. Aggressively mediocre is everything one would fear about a film like this. Truly we are in the worst timeline. And yeah, the film apparently it basically not about Tom & Jerry? Bizarre choice. But you know us, we love dem B-plots.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kP9TfCWaQT4

(Yup, that looks aggressively dumb. I very much don’t look forward to the Now That’s What I Call Music soundtrack as well. Maybe Moretz is good? Funny that the wedding itself barely is mentioned in the trailer.)

DirectorsTim Story – ( Known For: Think Like a Man; Barbershop; Hurricane Season; Future BMT: Fantastic Four; Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer; Think Like a Man Too; BMT: Tom & Jerry: The Movie; Ride Along; Ride Along 2; Shaft; Taxi; Notes: Was a rapper on Ice-T’s record label, Rhyme Syndicate. Has a twin sister.)

WritersWilliam Hanna and Joseph Barbera – ( Known For: Scoob!; Happy Halloween, Scooby-Doo!; Scooby-Doo & Batman: The Brave and the Bold; The Man Called Flintstone; Hey There, It’s Yogi Bear; Top Cat Begins; Future BMT: Scooby-Doo; Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed; The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas; Tom and Jerry: The Movie; Yogi Bear; BMT: Tom & Jerry: The Movie; Notes: They have slightly different credits, but whatever. They are the titular Hanna and Barbera, pioneers in animation in the 50s and 60s. As is evident, they are responsible for Yogi Bear, The Flintstones, and Scooby-Doo among others.)

Kevin Costello – ( Known For: Brigsby Bear; BMT: Tom & Jerry: The Movie; Notes: Not much info available for him, but he’s also tapped for an upcoming Looney Tunes film, so I have to imagine he’s the main writer for an attempt as finding a place for the Looney Tunes characters in the modern media landscape.)

ActorsChloë Grace Moretz – ( Known For: The Addams Family; Suspiria; Let Me In; The Equalizer; Carrie; Shadow in the Cloud; Kick-Ass; Diary of a Wimpy Kid; 500 Days of Summer; Hugo; Bolt; Say When; Bad Neighbours 2; Dark Places; Greta; The Miseducation of Cameron Post; Muppets Most Wanted; Brain on Fire; Snow White and the Red Shoes; The Tale of the Princess Kaguya; Future BMT: The Addams Family 2; Dark Shadows; The Amityville Horror; Kick-Ass 2; If I Stay; The Eye; BMT: Tom & Jerry: The Movie; Movie 43; The 5th Wave; Big Momma’s House 2; Notes: A kid actor in things like Big Momma’s House 2 back in the day, she’s still going strong as a leading lady. Apparently there was a Moretz hosiery fortune which her family came into around 2010 worth $350 million.)

Michael Peña – ( Known For: Fury; The Martian; Ant-Man; American Hustle; Ant-Man and the Wasp; Crash; Million Dollar Baby; Shooter; The Lincoln Lawyer; The Mule; Dora and the Lost City of Gold; End of Watch; 12 Strong; Extinction; Babel; A Wrinkle in Time; Turbo; Tower Heist; Observe and Report; My Little Pony; Future BMT: Vacation; Collateral Beauty; Jexi; Lions for Lambs; BMT: Tom & Jerry: The Movie; CHIPS; Fantasy Island; Gone in Sixty Seconds; Gangster Squad; Battle: Los Angeles; Notes: Was a drummer in the band Nico Vega in Los Angeles in the mid-2000s.)

Colin Jost – ( Known For: Coming 2 America; How to Be Single; Staten Island Summer; BMT: Tom & Jerry: The Movie; Notes: Host of Weekend Update on SNL, the co-head writer for the show, and married to Scarlett Johansson. So I have no qualms saying he is apparently terrible in this film.)

Budget/Gross – $79 million / Domestic: $46,041,123 (Worldwide: $132,841,123)

(Not what you want, but at the same time they probably didn’t intend on releasing this during a pandemic. So while unfortunate, it maybe would have done decently in a normal time.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 31% (39/126): It isn’t the worst of the long-squabbling duo’s feature-length adventures, but Tom & Jerry is disappointingly short on the anarchic spirit of their classic shorts.

(This is way way higher than I expected. But wait … what as the worst of the long-squabbling duo’s feature-length adventures?)

Reviewer Highlight: Tom And Jerry can’t even let the cat and mouse escape from such bogus, contemporary studio-film standards… – Erik Adams, AV Club

Poster – Thomas & Jerome: Origins

(Far too much going on for my puny brain to comprehend. I guess those youngsters with their smartphones and tiktoks and whatnot can make sense of this garbage poster.  OK font I guess. D+)

Tagline(s) – Best of Enemies. Worst of Friends. (C-)

(I would have made the tagline They’re Animals and then chuckled to myself for hours until I saw some blog that no one reads gave the tagline a C- and I’m like ‘what… can’t you tell I was being ironic, bro?’ and then I’d sue for slander. I’m not sure I understand this tagline and I don’t think they are being ironic. Right idea, but just not good as it’s nonsense.)

Keyword(s) – cat, mouse

Top 10: Spectre (2015), Space Jam: A New Legacy (2021), Coraline (2009), The Witches (2020), Jeepers Creepers (2001), Cinderella (2015), Alice in Wonderland (2010), The Witches (1990), Sing (2016), The House with a Clock in Its Walls (2018)

Future BMT: 76.8 Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel (2009), 61.0 G-Force (2009), 59.1 Corky Romano (2001), 45.4 Yours, Mine & Ours (2005), 37.4 Tom and Jerry: The Movie (1992), 33.4 The Getaway (1994), 32.1 A Simple Wish (1997), 21.4 Rock-A-Doodle (1991)

BMT: Space Jam: A New Legacy (2021), Tom & Jerry: The Movie (2021), Garfield (2004), The Specialist (1994)

Matches: Tom & Jerry: The Movie (2021), Stuart Little (1999), The Secret of N-I-M-H (1982), Garfield (2004), The Specialist (1994), An American Tail (1986), An American Tail: Fievel Goes West (1991), Tom and Jerry: The Movie (1992)

(Kind of amazing that we already watched all of the 2021 adventures. Those matches are awesome. Although … I can’t necessarily remember the mouse in The Specialist. The cat for sure. The mouse is tougher to recall.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 15) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Michael Peña is No. 2 billed in Tom & Jerry: The Movie and No. 1 billed in Fantasy Island, which also stars Michael Rooker (No. 8 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 4 billed) => (2 + 1) + (8 + 4) = 15. If we were to watch The Black Dahlia we can get the HoE Number down to 14.

Notes – The film features archive recordings of William Hanna, who did all of the original screeches, yells, gasps, shrieks, howls, and screams for Tom and Jerry heard in the original cartoons from 1942 to 1957. It’s the same technique used previously in Snoopy and Charlie Brown: The Peanuts Movie (2015), where all the Snoopy’s screeches, yells, gasps, shrieks, howls, and screams were the made by Bill Melendez in the original cartoons from 1965 to 2000 (including movies, TV series and TV specials).

This is the first Tom and Jerry theatrical film to be made without the original creators William Hanna and Joseph Barbera who died in 2001 and 2006, respectively.

The film is dedicated to veteran animator Gene Deitch (1924 – 2020), who worked on several “Tom & Jerry” features in his career.

When Jerry is in his bathtub he is reading a book or magazine titled Secret Squirrel. Secret Squirrel was Hanna-Barbera cartoon that ran from 1965-66 featuring a James Bond-esque adventures.

The film contains gags from previous “Tom & Jerry” cartoons: the gag of Jerry socking Tom in the eye comes from Mouse Trouble (1944)the gag with the fishing line comes from Cat Fishin’ (1947)Tom playing a piano comes from The Zoot Cat (1944).

Not counting the shorts, this is the second Tom and Jerry movie to be theatrical, after Tom and Jerry: The Movie (1992), as well as the first one to be live-action and animated.

Director Tim Story cites the live-action-animation hybrid film Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988) as an influence on the film’s VFX.

All of the animal characters in the movie, including those in the background, are animated.

This is the first live action animated Warner Brothers film to be based on a Hanna-Barbera cartoon since Yogi Bear (2010) 11 years prior.

Chloë Grace Moretz cited the performances of Sandra Bullock, Jennifer Aniston, Lucille Ball, and Meg Ryan as an influence on her role as Kayla. Moretz described Kayla as “a lot like Jerry” and as “a girl who gunned for what she wanted to achieve but realizes that time and honesty is what will prevail in the end”, as well as “a total goofball”, the latter aspect which allowed Moretz to “lean into who she is in real life”. She also said Kayla is “a little unlikeable with some of the decisions she makes”, yet she still wanted the character to feel relatable.

Freejack Preview

Patrick carefully looks over his manuscript. It’s near perfection. Definitely a professional novel by a professional writer who does everything very professionally. And yet his eraser is poised in mid-air, waiting to take near perfection all the way to no ‘bout-a-doubt it, John-Travolta-Jamie-Lee-Curtis perfect. “Aha,” he thinks and lowers the eraser to the phrase, ‘Not a spinning flying double scissor kick!’ He deftly replaces it with ‘Not a spinning flying twin scissor kick,’ making it obvious why this is the only weakness of The Wishmaster. He then takes a moment to shake his head at the piece of shit hack Manfred Long, still caught in his quickening while his page remains blank, before jumping back into the main thrust of his narrative.

With The Wishmaster defeated by their very logical spinning flying twin scissor kick, Clutch Guthrie smooths back his hair and compliments Kat on her scissor kick form. She scoffs at the obvious pick up line but also admits that Clutch’s glutes were in fine form on the landing. With bated breath and a moment to ponder their mutual attraction they soon find themselves in the midst of a passionate make-out session for the ages. You best believe they are frenching hard. In between kisses they agree that since the Wishmaster has been dispatched the only logical thing to do is to team up and free the Vice President. “You mean it?” asks Clutch and Kat nods. “Yeah,” she says breathlessly, “Let’s go free Jack Parrot, the Vice President of the United States.” 

Patrick wipes a tear from his eye as he details how the anthem of the United States swells in the background and then proceeds to treat his readers to a very patriotic and tasteful sex scene. That’s right! We are watching Freejack, the Emilio Estevez/Mick Jagger futuristic thriller that somehow didn’t totally work. Who would have thought? Let’s go!

Back in Party Town, USA Jamie waits several years for Kyle and the cyborgs to arrive. “You thought we couldn’t hack jack into your puny party town?” they cackle, but Jamie just smirks. “No, we thought you could hack jack in, but we’re pretty sure you can’t cyber jack your way out. Hit it, Kyle!” That’s right! We are pairing Freejack with the Michael Dudikoff classic Cyberjack. Classic Dudikoff, am I right? Let’s go!

Freejack (1992) – BMeTric: 44.1; Notability: 62

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 4.0%; Notability: top 2.0%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 11.3%; Higher BMeT: Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot, Body of Evidence, Cool World, Pet Sematary II, Toys, Children of the Corn II: The Final Sacrifice, The Lawnmower Man, Sleepwalkers, 3 Ninja Kids, Poison Ivy; Higher Notability: Toys, Cool World, Newsies, Home Alone 2: Lost in New York, Tom and Jerry: The Movie; Lower RT: Once Upon a Crime…, Love Crimes, Folks!, Live Wire, Year of the Comet, Frozen Assets, Cool World, Man Trouble, Christopher Columbus: The Discovery, The Opposite Sex and How to Live with Them, Body of Evidence, Mom and Dad Save the World, Passed Away, Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot, Claire of the Moon, Ladybugs, Mr. Baseball, The Distinguished Gentleman, The Gun in Betty Lou’s Handbag, Tom and Jerry: The Movie, and 5 more; Notes: I’m liking the look of that Notability, 60 is crazy high for 1992, especially for a movie like this. Look at those higher BMeT films as wall! Seen a lot of those, but Poison Ivy is a particularly exciting prospect.

Leonard Maltin – 1.5 stars –  Good cast is wasted in this mindless actioner, in which race car driver Estevez dies in 1991 and finds his body snatched into the year 2009 so that it may house the soul of ruthless tycoon Hopkins. Tiresome, superficial fare. Based on the novel Immortality, Inc. by Robert Sheckley. Jagger plays a bounty hunter; it’s his first screen acting role since Performance in 1970.

(Based on a book huh? I wonder how long it is. Do you think I could read it in a day. That is tempting. Interesting to call it an actioner. It probably fits that definition, but it feels weird to call what must be a real deal sci-fi film an “actioner”.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Zxr-Y-5YyA/

(My god, it looks incredible! The graphics, the kind of crappy dystopian near-future, the guitar licks. Mick Jagger out of nowhere barely acting. A bunch of race cars. What racing circuit is Estevez competing in? Looked like a junior Indycar or something, the cars looked tiny.)

DirectorsGeoff Murphy – (Known For: The Quiet Earth; Fortress 2; Utu; Goodbye Pork Pie; Never Say Die; Spooked; Future BMT: Under Siege 2: Dark Territory; BMT: Young Guns II: Blaze of Glory; Freejack; Notes: Right, we just watched a film by him in Young Guns II, where I mentioned he’s from New Zealand and got what amounted to a knighthood for his contributions to film there.)

WritersRobert Sheckley – (Known For: The Tenth Victim; Condorman; The Prize of Peril; Dead Run; BMT: Freejack; Notes: Wrote Immortality Inc. which is what the film is based on. In his later life he wrote a bunch of movelizations of television shows and stuff, like Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: The Laertian Gamble.)

Steven Pressfield – (Known For: The Legend of Bagger Vance; Above the Law; Joshua Tree; Separate Lives; BMT: Freejack; King Kong Lives; Notes: Apparently wrote drafts of Hard to Kill and Total Recall. He was born in Trinidad.)

Ronald Shusett – (Known For: Alien; Aliens; Prometheus; Total Recall; Alien: Covenant; Alien³; Alien Resurrection; Dead and Buried; Above the Law; Campsite Massacre; Hemoglobin; Phobia; W; Future BMT: Total Recall; BMT: AVP: Alien vs. Predator; AVPR: Aliens vs Predator – Requiem; Freejack; King Kong Lives; Notes: The writing partner of Pressfield, although he ended up with a ton of other (character) credits since he has a story credit on the original Alien.)

Dan Gilroy – (Known For: Nightcrawler; Kong: Skull Island; The Fall; The Bourne Legacy; Real Steel; Velvet Buzzsaw; Roman J. Israel, Esq.; Future BMT: Chasers; Two for the Money; BMT: Freejack; Notes: Son of Pulitzer Prize winning playwright Frank D. Gilroy. Was nominated for an Oscar for Nightcrawler. His two brothers are also in the business, with Tony Gilroy nominated for Oscars for writing and directing Michael Clayton, and John Gilroy an editor (of things like Rogue One).)

ActorsEmilio Estevez – (Known For: The Outsiders; The Breakfast Club; Mission: Impossible; St. Elmo’s Fire; Young Guns; Badlands; The Way; Repo Man; Stakeout; The Public; Bobby; Tex; Wisdom; The War at Home; Never on Tuesday; Sand; The L.A. Riot Spectacular; Los reyes magos; Future BMT: The Mighty Ducks; D2: The Mighty Ducks; Men at Work; Arthur and the Invisibles; D3: The Mighty Ducks; Loaded Weapon 1; Judgment Night; That Was Then… This Is Now; Another Stakeout; Nightmares; BMT: Young Guns II: Blaze of Glory; Maximum Overdrive; Freejack; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Actor for Maximum Overdrive in 1987; Notes: The son of Martin Sheen and brother of Charlie Sheen he declined to take the stage name Sheen like they did. A fairly accomplished director, he’s apparently making a third Young Guns film.)

Mick Jagger – (Known For: The Bank Job; The Burnt Orange Heresy; Fitzcarraldo; Performance; Enigma; Bent; Ned Kelly; The Man from Elysian Fields; Running Out of Luck; BMT: Freejack; Notes: The lead singer of The Rolling Stones. He has eight children, he was nominated for an Emmy for the documentary Crossfire Hurricane, and very rarely acts (and his scene in Fitzcarraldo was cut out).)

Rene Russo – (Known For: Avengers: Endgame; Thor; Nightcrawler; Thor: The Dark World; The Intern; Major League; In the Line of Fire; The Thomas Crown Affair; Velvet Buzzsaw; Outbreak; Lethal Weapon 3; Lethal Weapon 4; Get Shorty; Ransom; Tin Cup; Big Trouble; The Adventures of Rocky & Bullwinkle; Frank and Cindy; Future BMT: Two for the Money; Yours, Mine & Ours; Major League II; Showtime; Just Getting Started; Mr. Destiny; One Good Cop; Buddy; BMT: Freejack; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Supporting Actress for The Adventures of Rocky & Bullwinkle in 2001; Notes: Very accomplished actress, she married Dan Gilroy, the writer of the film, in 1994. They are still together.)

Budget/Gross – $30 million / Domestic: $17,129,026 (Worldwide: $17,129,026)

(Oh that ain’t good. You want more than that. These always seem like a tough beat because making a futuristic film costs money, but then you look at it and wonder if they actually thought they’d make $30 million let alone a profit? It seems like a bit of Hollywood accounting to a degree.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 18% (3/17)

(ooooo, I get to make a consensus. Mostly a string of chase scenes and smashing up sets, Freejack does a disservice to the actors with its lack of wit.)

Reviewer Highlight: The trouble with low-rent science-fiction movies is that beneath all the futuristic gimcrackery — the video phones and laser guns and hyperspace leaps, the obligatory time-travel setups — you realize, at some point, that you’re watching a routine urban chase thriller: Lethal Weapon 2000. – Owen Gleiberman, Entertainment Weekly

Poster – Freejack Attack is Back, Jack

(I’m giving them an E for effort, but this is… not a good thing they have done. Funny, too, that Hopkins is so high up on that poster. He barely appears in the film while Rene Russo does all the heavy lifting. The font and the soft blue tone rescue it a bit, but it hurts my eyes. C-.)

Tagline(s) – Alex Furlong died today. Eighteen years from now, he’ll be running for his life. (D)

(Again, this is bold. If I had to create an impossibly confusing tagline for a film to ensure that a) no one would read it and b) no one would understand it, this would be it. The only thing this tells you is that it’s set in the future. That and to steer clear of the film.)

Keyword(s) – bounty-hunter

Top 10: Once Upon a Time… In Hollywood (2019), Blade Runner 2049 (2017), Django Unchained (2012), Thor: Ragnarok (2017), Guardians of the Galaxy (2014), Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker (2019), No Country for Old Men (2007), Birds of Prey (2020), Guardians of the Galaxy: Vol. 2 (2017), The Magnificent Seven (2016)

Future BMT: 58.7 Suburban Commando (1991), 44.1 Identity Thief (2013), 40.7 Pink Cadillac (1989), 37.3 Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (2012), 35.9 Domino (2005), 32.5 Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008), 30.8 Spacehunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone (1983), 30.4 Mortal Engines (2018), 29.2 All About the Benjamins (2002), 20.6 The Three Musketeers (1993)

BMT: Jupiter Ascending (2015), Transformers: Age of Extinction (2014), Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters (2013), Ghost Rider (2007), Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday (1993), Young Guns II: Blaze of Glory (1990), The Darkest Minds (2018), Jonah Hex (2010), The Bounty Hunter (2010), Barb Wire (1996), Freejack (1992), One for the Money (2012), Critters 2 (1988)

Matches: The Hateful Eight (2015), Star Wars: Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back (1980), The Ballad of Buster Scruggs (2018), The Chronicles of Riddick (2004), Raising Arizona (1987), Transformers: Age of Extinction (2014), Ghost Rider (2007), Midnight Run (1988), Mud (2012), Critters (1986), Identity Thief (2013), Dead Man (1995), Jonah Hex (2010), Welcome to the Jungle (2003), The Bounty Hunter (2010), Domino (2005), Barb Wire (1996), Home on the Range (2004), Freejack (1992), One for the Money (2012), The Hunter (1980), Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust (2000), Spacehunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone (1983), All About the Benjamins (2002), Trancers (1984), Last of the Dogmen (1995), Dragon Warriors (2015), Scorched Earth (2018), Wanted: Dead or Alive (1986), The Night Crew (2015), Phoenix 2 (1995), Hard Bounty (1995), Future Force (1989), The Retrieval (2013), Coast to Coast (1980), Neon City (1991), Grim Prairie Tales: Hit the Trail… to Terror (1990), The Blue Iguana (1988), Future Zone (1990), Moving Target (1996), Space Rage (1985), The Other Side (2006), Meaner Than Hell (2009), The Mandalorian Legacy (2009), Street Hunter (1990), L.A. Bounty (1989), White Wall (2010), Galaxy Hunter (2004), Big Mistake (2014), The Bounty Hunter (1989), Revengeance (2016), Blackhats (2015), Sin’s Kitchen (2004), Six Gun (2008), The Big Bang (2003), Boston Nightly: Long Term Parking (2015)

(So many bounty hunter films. It feels like maybe you could make a cycle? Identity Thief (Comedy), Suburban Commando (Action), The Three Musketeers (Romance), Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (Horror) … yeah I think it wouldn’t be that hard, although too bad we already did The Bounty Hunter since Romance is a stretch with The Three Musketeers.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 20) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Anthony Hopkins is No. 4 billed in Freejack and No. 1 billed in The Rite, which also stars Ciarán Hinds (No. 5 billed) who is in Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance (No. 2 billed) which also stars Nicolas Cage (No. 1 billed) who is in The Wicker Man (No. 1 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 5 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (4 + 1) + (5 + 2) + (1 + 1) + (5 + 1) = 20. If we were to watch Two for the Money we can get the HoE Number down to 12.

Notes – Rene Russo (Julie Redlund) met her husband, co-writer Dan Gilroy, during production. They have been married since 1992.

According to reports at the time of the production and interviews with some members of cast and crew, the test screening was disastrous. Producer Ronald Shusett was brought in to re-shoot almost half of the movie, and add more character scenes and humor. Emilio Estevez said that director Geoff Murphy let them down by focusing too much on action.

The film was loosely based on the 1959 science fiction novel “Immortality, Inc.” by Robert Sheckley.

On an episode of ‘How Did This Get Made?’, it was revealed that Mick Jagger was offered this movie one week before shooting was scheduled to begin, and he decided to do it on the spot, based on a short description of the plot. He also said that if he had been given a few months to read the script and think about it, he probably would have declined.

Mick Jagger’s first dramatic movie as an actor since the mid-1980s with ‘Running out of Luck’ and ‘Laughter in the Dark’. He was cast in the wake of The Rolling Stones’ lucrative 1989-90 Steel Wheels tour, which was accompanied by their album of the same name.

The film’s premiere event was held nearly a month after it had already been released in theaters.

The film takes place in November 2009.

The racing footage was filmed at Road Atlanta using Formula Atlantic cars.

On VHS copies of this movie, the music video for Scorpions “Hit between the Eyes” is included. The video contains concert footage and scenes from the movie.

Cinematographer Amir Mokri’s first experience shooting a movie with anamorphic lenses. He did not do so again until Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011).

The hat that Emilio Estevez wears when in disguise was intended to be the same hat used in Young Guns 2 (1990), but the iconic prop had already been claimed by Lou Diamond Phillips on completion of principal photography.

Alex tells Boone that they’ve had it and Boone says, “What do you mean ‘we’, white man?” This is a nod to an old Lone Ranger joke about the hero and his Indian friend Tonto being surrounded by Indians.

Jerry Hall: Mick Jagger’s then-wife plays the television reporter who interviews Alex.

Eraser Preview

“I shouldn’t have wasted time talking to you,” says the woman cat burglar, “I should have listened to my mama and never talked to strangers.” Clutch smiles to himself, great minds. “Well, lady,” he says, holding out his hand, “the name is Clutch. Clutch Guthrie. See? Now we’re not strangers.” The cat burglar smirks and takes his hand, “Katherine Lattimore, but I still think my mama would tell me to steer clear of you.” Suddenly they hear a soft cough and they turn to see the Wishmaster waiting impatiently. “If you two are done with your introductions I’d appreciate it if you grant me one wish: hand over the gold,” he says with a sneer. Kat and Clutch look at each other and nod, turning their handshake smoothly into a spinning flying double scissor kick. “Oh no! Not a spinning flying double scissor kick! The only thing that can stop my wishes!” screeches The Wishmaster.

Patrick looks at the last passage and feels like it doesn’t seem exactly right. Has he given The Wishmaster enough backstory for the reader to understand why a spinning flying double scissor kick would be the only logical thing to defeat his wish power? Being a professional writer who writes very professional passages like the one above, these are the types of questions that can take hours to answer. Everything must be tight. He reaches for his eraser but pauses. Does he have time? At this very moment that piece of shit hack Manfred Long is also writing his story. But when he looks at Manfred he’s still deep into his Quickening brought on by his use of the Obsidian Dongle. His page is also curiously blank. Patrick shrugs and grabs the eraser. Now what needs to be modified to get his point across? That’s right! We are doing the Arnold Schwarzenegger classic Eraser. We weren’t quite at the tail end of the Arnold heyday, but we were on the verge. This is part of the chain going through John Snyder. Let’s go!

Jamie swoops down on his hang glider towards the hack jack port. A cyborg flies in to intercept, but Kyle knocks him out of the way and winks his classic Kyle wink. Hack jacking his way like the jack master he is, Jamie enters Party Town, USA… the world where he and Kyle make the rules and are guardians of the universe. That’s right! We are pairing Eraser with Abraxas, Guardian of the Universe starring Jesse Ventura… but also featuring Jim Belushi, star of K-9. Pretty great. Let’s go!

Eraser (1996) – BMeTric: 30.2; Notability: 103

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 21.2%; Notability: top 0.0%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 36.6%; Higher BMeT: Barb Wire, Kazaam, Striptease, The Island of Dr. Moreau, Bio-Dome, Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace, Ed, The Crow: City of Angels, The Stupids, Hellraiser: Bloodline, Mr. Wrong, Spy Hard, Poison Ivy II, Solo, Jingle All the Way, The Glimmer Man, Eddie, Adrenalin: Fear the Rush, D3: The Mighty Ducks, Maximum Risk, and 33 more; Lower RT: The Dentist, Ed, Big Bully, Adrenalin: Fear the Rush, Ripe, Bio-Dome, Kazaam, Faithful, Mr. Wrong, Spy Hard, Bulletproof, Eye for an Eye, Solo, Celtic Pride, House Arrest, Mrs. Winterbourne, Larger Than Life, Two If by Sea, The Glimmer Man, Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace, and 66 more; Notes: I’m pretty surprised this is even as low as a 6.1 on IMDb, I would have thought it would have been mid-6 for sure. That notability is gaudy.

RogerEbert.com – 3.0 stars – It helps to have a short attention span while watching “Eraser,” the new Arnold Schwarzenegger picture. … “Eraser” is more or less what you expect, two hours of mindless nonstop high-tech action, with preposterous situations, a body count in the dozens, and Arnold introducing a new trademark line of dialogue (it’s supposed to be “Trust me,” but I think “You’re luggage” will win on points). Thinking back over the film, I can only praise the director’s restraint in leaving out the canary.

(I’m liking the sound of that. A big dumb Arnold actioner that I’ve somehow ever seen? You know those are an endangered species unfortunately.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YYfiV8rb3fA/

(The trailer not explaining the magic gun while showing the magic bullet-time shots is hilarious. And once they basically bust out the Prodigy techno in the trailer is also incredible.)

DirectorsChuck Russell – (Known For: The Mask; A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors; The Scorpion King; The Blob; I Am Wrath; Junglee; BMT: Eraser; Bless the Child; Notes: His directorial efforts are few and far between these days, although he is tapped for three films at the moment the crappy looking Bruce Willis feature seems like the most likely to actually get made by him.)

WritersTony Puryear – (BMT: Eraser; Notes: An artist as well, he created the campaign poster for Hillary Clinton’s 2008 presidential campaign which is now hanging in the National Portrait Gallery.)

Walon Green – (Known For: WarGames; Dinosaur; The Wild Bunch; Sorcerer; The Border; The Brink’s Job; The Hi-Lo Country; Morituri; Crusoe; BMT: Solarbabies; RoboCop 2; Eraser; Notes: Wrote and produced a ton of Law & Order over the years. Was nominated for an oscar for The Wild Bunch, and won for his documentary The Hellstrom Chronicle)

Michael S. Chernuchin – (BMT: Eraser; Notes: Wrote and produced  a bunch of the Law & Order series, including being nominated for 4 Emmys in connection with the series.)

ActorsArnold Schwarzenegger – (Known For: Predator; Terminator 2: Judgment Day; Terminator: Dark Fate; Total Recall; The Terminator; True Lies; Conan the Barbarian; Commando; The Expendables; Last Action Hero; The Running Man; Escape Plan; Kindergarten Cop; Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines; The Expendables 2; Twins; The Long Goodbye; Iron Mask; The Last Stand; The Rundown; Future BMT: Terminator Genisys; End of Days; Collateral Damage; Junior; BMT: Batman & Robin; The Expendables 3; Red Sonja; Conan the Destroyer; Around the World in 80 Days; Eraser; Raw Deal; Sabotage; Jingle All the Way; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Actor in 1983 for Conan the Barbarian; in 1994 for Last Action Hero; in 2000 for End of Days; and in 2001 for The 6th Day; Nominee for Worst Supporting Actor in 1998 for Batman & Robin; in 2001 for The 6th Day; in 2005 for Around the World in 80 Days; in 2015 for The Expendables 3; and in 2021 for Tayna pechati drakona; and Nominee for Worst Screen Couple for The 6th Day in 2001; Notes: Y’all know Arnold. He’s slated to be in a new Twins film and a new Conan film which is exciting. Mr. Olympia from Austria and one of the biggest blockbuster actors ever.)

Vanessa Williams – (Known For: Hannah Montana: The Movie; Shaft; When Marnie Was There; Bad Hair; Soul Food; The Adventures of Elmo in Grouchland; The Man from Earth: Holocene; Dance with Me; The Pick-up Artist; Hoodlum; Delhi Safari; He’s Way More Famous Than You; The Legend of Hallowaiian; My Brother; And Then Came Love; Future BMT: Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man; Johnson Family Vacation; Another You; Light It Up; BMT: Eraser; Temptation: Confessions of a Marriage Counselor; Notes: Was the first African American Miss America. Nominated for three Emmys for Ugly Betty, and famously married to NBA star (and sometimes actor) Rick Fox.)

James Caan – (Known For: The Godfather; The Godfather: Part II; Rollerball; Misery; Elf; Dogville; Dick Tracy; Get Smart; Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs; Queen Bees; El Dorado; Detachment; A Bridge Too Far; Thief; Bottle Rocket; 1941; Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2; The Tale of The Princess Kaguya; The Program; Henry’s Crime; Future BMT: Bulletproof; BMT: That’s My Boy; Eraser; Notes: Nominated for an Oscar for The Godfather. Apparently he lived in the Playboy mansion in the 70s … which is crazy.)

Budget/Gross – $100,000,000 / Domestic: $101,295,562 (Worldwide: $242,295,562)

(Decent return, although I would have expected more domestically. But apparently this is kind of the last hurrah of the classic Arnold blockbusters, so maybe his power was already fading.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 38% (19/50): Eraser’s shoot-’em-up action might show off some cutting edge weaponry, but its rote story is embarrassingly obsolete.

(Hmmmm, so old news … but what is old is new again these days I imagine. As NBC used to say, if you haven’t seen it it’s new to you!)

Reviewer Highlight: The advanced weaponry and nifty scopes notwithstanding, most of the gunplay is pretty standard-issue, with most of the victims being anonymous targets present just to be picked off. – Todd McCarthy, Variety

Poster – Eraser? I Barely Know Her

(Is it weird that I kinda like this? It’s got that subtle green of a security camera, which gives me Enemy of the State vibes, which I like. It’s kind of artistic and I like the green glow behind the otherwise boring font. I don’t know. This is not nearly as bad as it should be. B)

Tagline(s) – He will erase your past to protect your future. (B+)

(A little strange to use the name of the title in the tagline, but it is effective. Nice cadence and pairing of past-future. I find the use of the word “your” mildly amusing… who? Little ol’ me? Anyway, it’s pretty good.)

Keyword(s) – witness-protection

Top 10: Goodfellas (1990), Heat (1995), The Mule (2018), The Hitman’s Bodyguard (2017), Legend (2015), The Incredibles (2004), Bad Boys (1995), Game Night (2018), Donnie Brasco (1997), A History of Violence (2005)

Future BMT: 52.0 Madea’s Witness Protection (2012), 42.0 Domestic Disturbance (2001), 38.3 See Spot Run (2001), 31.5 Bird on a Wire (1990), 28.8 15 Minutes (2001), 24.3 The Family (2013), 14.6 Smokin’ Aces (2006), 10.8 Hiding Out (1987)

BMT: Cobra (1986), Eraser (1996), Raw Deal (1986), Hot Pursuit (2015), Mercury Rising (1998), Did You Hear About the Morgans? (2009)

Matches: Smokin’ Aces (2006), The Family (2013), Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle (2003), Eraser (1996), Hit and Run (2012), My Blue Heaven (1990), Did You Hear About the Morgans? (2009), Route 666 (2001), Night of the Sicario (2021), F/X (1986), Killshot (2008), See Spot Run (2001), Hide in Plain Sight (1980), Nowhere Land (1998), The Secret Pact (1999)

(Kind of amusing that there really aren’t that many true matches that are “good”. The top 10 have some bangers though. And my god, Domestic Disturbance is something to look forward to.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 15) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Arnold Schwarzenegger is No. 1 billed in Eraser and No. 1 billed in Red Sonja, which also stars Brigitte Nielsen (No. 2 billed) who is in Cobra (No. 2 billed) which also stars Sylvester Stallone (No. 1 billed) who is in The Expendables 3 (No. 1 billed) which also stars Jason Statham (No. 2 billed) who is in In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (No. 1 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (1 + 1) + (2 + 2) + (1 + 1) + (2 + 1) + (3 + 1) = 15. If we were to watch The Glass House we can get the HoE Number down to 14.

Notes – The company name “Cyrez” was originally “Cyrex”, but the real-life company Cyrix complained. The movie had been shot, but all dialogue was dubbed and company logos were digitally altered during post-production. In one scene where Kruger and Lee review the files on the disc in Donohue’s office, some of the files have names beginning with CYX, indicating Cyrex.

Arnold Schwarzenegger really did free-fall for about sixty-five feet. He was harnessed into a piece of stunt technology called a descender rig. Directly afterwards, Chuck Russell told Schwarzenegger that there had been something wrong with the camera, and the scene had to be repeated. However, this was immediately revealed to be a prank, as to not upset Schwarzenegger any further.

Director Chuck Russell and producer Arnold Kopelson had a rocky relationship during the entire production. The only reason the film was able to go forward and ultimately be completed was that Arnold Schwarzenegger got along with each man separately, and was able to negotiate schedules and logistics at a point where the two men refused to speak to each other.

Cinematographer Adam Greenberg was personally chosen for the job by Arnold Schwarzenegger, who had worked with him on the first two Terminator movies. Schwarzenegger assured the production that if they wanted an experienced, professional cameraman who could capture the action on the film’s hectic schedule that Greenberg was the man for the job.

Arnold Schwarzenegger premiered the film at the Olympic Village in Atlanta, Georgia, during the 1996 Summer Games. The Goo Goo Dolls performed a live concert before the film was shown.

Frank Darabont and William Wisher were brought in mid production to revise the screenplay. Wisher co-wrote The Terminator & Terminator 2 Judgement Day.

The movie was mostly filmed on hand-held cameras, to make the audience feel closer to the action. Adam Greenberg sometimes used up to seven cameras at one time.

John Milius did multiple re-writes as a favor to Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Vanessa Williams performed the song “Where Do We Go From Here”, which is heard during the end credits.

At the premiere, Vanessa Williams walked the red carpet puffing one of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s signature cigars.

The movie has a sequel in the form of a video game, an FMV rail shooter with some adventure elements called Eraser – Turnabout (1996).

Two walk-on parts went for $4,500 each at a Planet Hollywood auction in 1995.

A novelization of the film by Robert Tine was published by Signet on August 29, 1996, the 5 year anniversary of Judgement Day from Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991) the day that SKYnet took over the earth.

Awards – Nominee for the Oscar for Best Effects, Sound Effects Editing (Alan Robert Murray, Bub Asman, 1997)

Space Jam: A New Legacy Preview

Jamie and Lindsey run off in pursuit of the hack jack port but Jamie can’t keep his mind off the mysterious sensuality of the hardscrabble reporter. “It was really cool how you used your credentials to get us in here,” he says meekly, spots of color blooming in his cheeks, but she just looks at him and mumbles about “the power of the press.” My god, he can hardly stand the power she exudes. Suddenly they turn a corner and there is a pipe pouring steamy water into the hallway. “This is here in case someone needs a steamy shower,” Lindsey says softly, “do you?” She says as she steps into the water. Nonplussed by the boldness of the steamy, sultriness of the scene, Jamie quickly recovers and joins her. As he does, she pulls away. “I… I can’t. Ever since I became a hardscrabble reporter I can’t understand love, life is just a series of news stories to me and I can’t see myself as a character… only others.” Jamie nods in understanding. Love is so hard. Living, loving, and learning, sigh, he totally gets it for sure. His wise words about the three L’s break through her hardened exterior and soon Jamie has a new L in his life: Lindsey, and they are making out… hard. Sure hope Patrick is having a better chance with the hack jack port cause this wild adventure of the senses ain’t slowing down.

“Oh that was easy,” Patrick says to Kyle, having found the hack jack port moments after Jamie and Lindsey ran off. “What now?” He asks Rachel through the headset. Now? Now it’s time to upload and hack the planet against the baddest algorithms in interspace. That’s right! Despite the lackluster harvest this year for BMT, we’ve doing our duty in grabbing what we can. It came out a little while back, but we finally caught up with Space Jam: A New Legacy as the second BMT Live! of the year. Talk about hacking the planet and algorithms and junk. Let’s go!

Space Jam: A New Legacy (2021) – BMeTric: 78.2; Notability: 84

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 0.0%; Notability: top 1.1%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 17.0% Lower RT: Cosmic Sin, Vanquish, Safer at Home, Separation, Music, Midnight in the Switchgrass, Breaking News in Yuba County, Axis Sally, Infinite, Die in a Gunfight, The Virtuoso, The Misfits, Thunder Force, Chaos Walking, The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard, The Unholy, The Woman in the Window, Voyagers, Awake; Notes: The BMeTric is going to fall I presume as more and more normal people watch the film and realize that it is just like … Space Jam 2, and not some attack on their childhood. Also kids who watch it (and probably like it) will grow up and so the rating will probably rise to around 6.0, a bit below the original, but still I bet it’ll be decently high eventually.

RogerEbert.com – 3.0 stars – Wait, when did everyone get a “-verse” to encompass all of their IP? I get it that the MCU was a way to bring together the different Marvel characters, and the Spider-verse was a way to bring the alternate universe versions of Spider-Man into one story. But around the time that the flying monkeys from “The Wizard of Oz,” Superman, King Kong, Agent Smith from “The Matrix,” and Ingrid Bergman from “Casablanca” show up in “Space Jam: A New Legacy,” a movie about basketball-playing Looney Tunes characters, we cannot help wondering whether the movie’s not-so-side hustle is promoting every character they own that ever inspired a Funko Pop. We might also wonder whether it’s too much of a distraction from what’s happening in the movie as we play “Who’s that?” among the hundreds of cosplaying real and virtual background figures.

(I find the excerpt combined with 3 out of 4 stars to be interesting. An IP cash grab seems like the perfect opportunity to bust out a 2.5 out of 4, I liked it but do better kind of statement. Three out of four is like … good. That is a good review. I find that quite interesting.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RCsEKvz2mxs/

(I believe I can flyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. The CGI Toons look dumb and I don’t like it. Otherwise, from what I remember LeBron James is a far more capable actor than MJ, so he has that going for him.)

Directors – Malcolm D. Lee – (Known For: Girls Trip; Undercover Brother; The Best Man; Roll Bounce; Barbershop: A Fresh Cut; The Best Man Holiday; Soul Men; Future BMT: Night School; Welcome Home, Roscoe Jenkins; BMT: Scary Movie 5; Space Jam: A New Legacy; Notes: He’s all about The Best Man series including writing and directing an upcoming television series based on the property and another sequel.)

Writers – Leo Benvenuti and Steve Rudnick (based on “Space Jam” written by) – (Known For: Space Jam; The Santa Clause; Kicking & Screaming; The Santa Clause 2; Future BMT: The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause; BMT: Space Jam: A New Legacy; Notes: Leo Benvenuti seems to have retired in 2012. Steve Rudnick consulted on the recent Muppets show and wrote a few episodes as well.)

Timothy Harris and Herschel Weingrod (based on “Space Jam” written by) – (Known For: Space Jam; Trading Places; Kindergarten Cop; Twins; Astro Boy; Kindergarten Cop 2; Cheaper to Keep Her; Future BMT: My Stepmother Is an Alien; Pure Luck; Brewster’s Millions; BMT: Space Jam: A New Legacy; Notes: They actually genuinely did write Kindergarten Cop 2, it wasn’t just a character credit. Space Jam was their last theatrical release screenplay credit.)

Juel Taylor (story by & screenplay by) – (Known For: Creed II; BMT: Space Jam: A New Legacy; Notes: Keenan Coogler’s brother wrote Creed, he wrote Creed II, and Keenen Coogler is writing the third, so a lot of Creed DNA in the film. He is writing They Cloned Tyrone with Tony Rettenmaier.)

Tony Rettenmaier (story by & screenplay by) – (BMT: Space Jam: A New Legacy; Notes: Mostly does camera work it looks like. Has started writing features in 2019.)

Keenan Coogler (story by & screenplay by) – (BMT: Space Jam: A New Legacy; Notes: Brother of Ryan Coogler who directed Creed. He’s now tapped to write Creed III.)

Terence Nance (story by & screenplay by) – (Known For: An Oversimplification of Her Beauty; BMT: Space Jam: A New Legacy; Notes: Seems to do a little bit of everything. Has written a ton of shorts, and a television series starring himself.)

Jesse Gordon (screenplay by) – (BMT: Space Jam: A New Legacy; Notes: Only credit is for some of the short segments in Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.)

Celeste Ballard (screenplay by) – (BMT: Space Jam: A New Legacy; Notes: Seemed to have been involved in UCB and has written for a bunch of smaller series over the years. Her first film, and her second is in post-production starring Sophie Turner.)

Actors – LeBron James – (Known For: Trainwreck; Smallfoot; BMT: Space Jam: A New Legacy; Notes: King James! Four time NBA champion. He was widely lauded for his performance in Trainwreck, so it seemed inevitable he would go for Space Jam 2, a film they’ve been trying to get off the ground for literally decades.)

Don Cheadle – (Known For: No Sudden Move; Avengers: Endgame; Avengers: Infinity War; Boogie Nights; Captain Marvel; Avengers: Age of Ultron; Captain America: Civil War; Iron Man 2; Iron Man Three; Ocean’s Eleven; Crash; Flight; Traffic; Ocean’s Twelve; Ocean’s Thirteen; Out of Sight; Hotel Rwanda; Rush Hour 2; The Family Man; The Guard; Future BMT: Mission to Mars; The Meteor Man; After the Sunset; BMT: Space Jam: A New Legacy; Swordfish; Notes: Nominated for an Oscar for Best Actor for Hotel Rwanda. Plays the saxophone, and he was nominated for a Grammy for a spoken word album (how quaint).)

Cedric Joe – (BMT: Space Jam: A New Legacy; Notes: Plays LeBron’s fictional child. Makes me wonder if LeBron’s actual children got auditions. Bryce is maybe the right age.)

Budget/Gross – $150 million / Domestic: $69,223,929 (Worldwide: $148,723,929)

(In normal times I think they would have been looking for $100 million easy. This is actually a lot more impressive than I would have thought. With the HBO Max money maybe it is okay in the end.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 26% (55/211): Despite LeBron James’ best efforts to make a winning team out of the Tune Squad, Space Jam: A New Legacy trades the zany, meta humor of its predecessor for a shameless, tired exercise in IP-driven branding.

(Yeah, sounds about right. I think it is a surprisingly low percentage, I was mostly expecting it to float around 35%, but it just kept dropping. Reviewer Highlight: Corporations handing a bag of unrelated IP and ordering screenwriters to come up with a story around them is the template for most studio filmmaking now, if not all of contemporary existence. – Sam Adams, Slate.)

Poster – Space Clams

(Odd poster. They are basically showing us almost nothing of the draw of the film in favor of colorful empty space. Like… I guess I recognize LeBron James’ legs. And then just the tops of the heads of the Looney Tunes? Very strange. I do like the vibrant colors and the quirk of the font. But odd stuff. C+)

Tagline(s) – They’re all Tuned up for a rematch. (C)

(But… it’s not a rematch. Whatever. This is fine in a your-kinda-stretching-it way. It’s short enough. It hints at the general concept of a Looney Tunes Space Jam sequel. And it is mildly clever. It’s mild all around.)

Keyword – basketball

Top 10: Space Jam: A New Legacy (2021), Space Jam (1996), Thor: Ragnarok (2017), American Beauty (1999), Black Panther (2018), Glass (2019), Baywatch (2017), Sleepers (1996), Doctor Strange (2016), Uncut Gems (2019)

Future BMT: 92.7 Date Movie (2006), 82.9 Home Alone 3 (1997), 82.8 Kazaam (1996), 75.9 Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel (2009), 73.7 Look Who’s Talking Now (1993), 70.0 The Unborn (2009), 69.4 The Flintstones (1994), 67.7 Crossover (2006), 62.9 The Comebacks (2007), 62.9 Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones (2014);

BMT: Space Jam: A New Legacy (2021), Baywatch (2017), Grown Ups (2010), Blended (2014), Bloodshot (2020), Cocktail (1988), A Walk to Remember (2002), Dangerous Minds (1995), Assassin’s Creed (2016), Jack and Jill (2011), Big Momma’s House (2000), Little Nicky (2000), Ride Along (2014), Now and Then (1995), Into the Storm (2014), The Game Plan (2007), Paycheck (2003), Dreamcatcher (2003), I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry (2007), Made of Honour (2008), Romeo Must Die (2000), Runner Runner (2013), Lock Up (1989), Steel (1997), Are We There Yet? (2005), Deadly Friend (1986), Juwanna Mann (2002), Half Past Dead (2002), Underclassman (2005)

(Kazaam is the obvious outlier here. We should have watched Kazaam ages ago, but it was probably hamstrung by the fact that we didn’t rewatch movies for the first five or so years of BMT. The plot is fun because I genuinely think it follows the pattern of 1990 onward basketball. I wonder what the baseball plot looks like …)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 18) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Don Cheadle is No. 2 billed in Space Jam: A New Legacy and No. 4 billed in Swordfish, which also stars John Travolta (No. 1 billed) who is in Wild Hogs (No. 2 billed), which also stars Tim Allen (No. 1 billed) who is in Jungle 2 Jungle (No. 1 billed), which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 6 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => 2 + 4 + 1 + 2 + 1 + 1 + 6 + 1 = 18. If we were to watch Mission to Mars, Reindeer Games, and Pearl Harbor we can get the HoE Number down to 15.

Notes – After the original idea for “Space Jam 2” was canceled, there was an idea for a spy film titled “Spy Jam” starring Chinese actor Jackie Chan, but he left the project and it evolved into Looney Tunes: Back in Action (2003).

Bob Bergen is the only voice actor to return from the original Space Jam (1996) film (as Tweety).

The lighting effects on the Looney Tunes characters were done by Industrial Light & Magic which makes this the first time the company does the lighting effects on 2D animated characters in a live action and animated film since Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988) 33 years earlier.

Kath Soucie had been set to reprise her role as Lola Bunny, and had all of her dialogue recorded. But for unknown reasons, she was replaced by Zendaya during late post-production.

The Warner Siblings make several cameos in the film. Looney Tunes: Back in Action director Joe Dante originally wanted to include a cameo of the siblings in the “water tower” scene, but the idea was discarded for unknown reasons. The Wacko, Yakko, and Dot can, however, be spotted multiple times through out the basketball game. They can be seen sitting on top of Marvin’s space ship.

Originally, the sequel was going to have Michael Jordan and the Looney Tunes having a basketball game against a new alien villain named “The Berserk-O!”. Ultimately Michael’s refusal to return resulted in production’s cancellation.

Milwaukee Bucks star Giannis Antetokounmpo was offered to star in the film, but he declined.

Warner Bros also had ideas for “Skate Jam”, “Golf Jam” and “Race Jam”, but they were all discarded.

Production began in June 2019 during the NBA off-season.

When Space Jam 2 was first announced back in 2011, one proposed idea was that it would star Tim Tebow and revolve around football. Little more information came from this idea before it was scrapped and replaced with its current plot about LeBron James. (I DO NOT BELIEVE THIS)

Pepe Le Pew, the French skunk, was supposed to have featured in a Casablanca (1942)-inspired scene where he tries to pick up Greice Santo, who violently rebuffs his advances. However, the unfinished scene was dropped after Malcolm D. Lee took over directing from Terence Nance, allegedly because the character of Le Pew was said to promote sexual harassment.

Original Space Jam (1996) director Joe Pytka said it took him five attempts to watch Space Jam 2 all the way through. He said that LeBron James was not a big enough celebrity to carry the film the way Michael Jordan did, adding “the truth is that LeBron ain’t Michael.” The commercial director went on to criticize the new film’s soundtrack as “insignificant” and the new version of Bugs Bunny as “looked like one of those fluffy dolls you buy at an airport gift shop to bring your kid when your business trip has taken too long.”

Terence Nance was the original director, but he voluntarily stepped down during production due to creative differences with the studio and producers, and was replaced with Malcolm D. Lee.

NASCAR driver Jeff Gordon was reportedly attached to an auto racing-centered follow-up to Space Jam entitled “Race Jam”, but Gordon denied these rumors and the project fell through. Gordon did make a cameo appearance in the last theatrically-released Looney Tunes film, Looney Tunes: Back in Action (2003).

Son of the Mask Preview

After walking Kyle through the math it seems pretty straightforward: the sham R&P film is only one review away from not qualifying for BMT. “And so all we need is to somehow insert sexy mannequins into the film and it’ll be within your scope to review?” But Kyle shakes his head and explains that the film already has mannequins. “And they’re really quite striking,” he adds, sending a shiver up Jamie’s spine. The site has even already written a review. “So how was the movie?” asks Jamie. Kyle shakes his head and wrinkles his nose. Patrick throws up his hands. “So if you already wrote a bad review then how does that help us?” but Kyle shakes his head again and reiterates, “the mannequins… they were very striking.” Patrick feels bile in the back of his throat. They summarize: Kyle has a website (check), it reviewed the film (check), and they gave it a good review (check). “Cause of the extremely striking mannequins,” confirms Kyle. “The only problem,” he continues, “is that we don’t meet the eligibility requirements. Jamie and Patrick nod in understanding. It is pretty strict and obviously SMT isn’t getting 4 million hits a year, but Kyle is taken aback. “Of course we have 4 million hits a year… we have 4 million subscribers,” he says as Jamie’s mouth falls open in shock. “It’s mostly because one of our three reviewers isn’t qualified as an individual critic. Me and my brother Lyle are, but our other brother Miles isn’t because he’s only written for the site for a year.” So all they had to do was hack the planet and juke Miles’ stats? Kyle nods, “and I actually know an elite hacker. My son Niall, but… he’s a bit of a wild card.” That’s right! We are watching the sequel to the comedy classic The Mask that literally no one was asking for. A decade after the first film they jettisoned everything that people loved from the first one in order to make a film with a CGI dog/baby instead of Jim Carrey. Seems like a plan. Let’s go!

Son of the Mask (2005) – BMeTric: 92.8; Notability: 74

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 0.0%; Notability: top 8.8%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 3.1% Higher Notability: The Island, Fantastic Four, Kingdom of Heaven, Domino, Bewitched, Be Cool, Chicken Little, Memoirs of a Geisha, xXx²: The Next Level, The Longest Yard; Lower RT: Alone in the Dark, BloodRayne, The Fog, Chaos, Supercross, Hate Crime, Yours, Mine & Ours; Notes: It is famous for a reason! One of the highest BMeTrics ever due to having 50K votes with a sub-3.0 (!) IMDb rating. Truly an astonishing feat, the lowest BMeTric of 2005.

Leonard Maltin – BOMB – Kennedy isn’t ready to be a father but conceives a baby anyway, wearing a supernatural mask. It, in turn, is coveted by a Norse god’s son (Cumming, in another of his leftover Paul Reubens roles). The god himself is played by Hoskins, in layers of makeup, and by this time the creaks are louder than anything in The Son of the Sheik. So-called sequel to The Mask (1994) is raucous without mercy, and burdened by a charmless cast; it has to plunder Chuck Jones’ cartoon One Froggy Evening to glean even a few good moments.

(Overly long review IMO (saved only by a late snippet semicolon). The review manages to completely undersell just how ridiculous this movie is and how famous it is as a legendary bad movie. I think this is Baby Geniuses level bad, and yet Leonard talks about it like it is a little kooky and unoriginal. No respect.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FKwtGHbpVDU/

(Oh man, they’re really showcasing the dancing baby and cartoon dog huh? Kind of amazing what they’ve done to The Mask. An abomination of a sequel for no good reason.)

Directors – Lawrence Guterman – (Known For: Cats & Dogs; BMT: Son of the Mask; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Director for Son of the Mask in 2006; Notes: Was a CGI wizard hired out of film school by Spielberg to help direct Dreamworks projects. Went to Harvard and MIT as well at times.)

Writers – Lance Khazei (written by) – (BMT: Son of the Mask; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Screenplay for Son of the Mask in 2006; Notes: Also went to Harvard which makes me think he might have known Guterman in some capacity prior to the film. Was a writer on the Chevy Chase show, and was nominated for a Daytime Emmy for the Great Minds Think For Themselves shorts.)

Actors – Jamie Kennedy – (Known For: Romeo + Juliet; Scream, Dead Poets Society; Enemy of the State; As Good as It Gets; Harold & Kumar Get the Munchies; Scream 2; Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back; Three Kings; Scream 3; Boiler Room; The Hungover Games; Bowfinger; Extreme Movie; Spinning Man; Roe v. Wade; Last Call; The Sand; Trick; Clockwatchers; Dr. Dolittle 2; Future BMT: Malibu’s Most Wanted; Kickin’ It Old Skool; Max Keeble’s Big Move; Good Deeds; Bait; Skin Deep; BMT: Son of the Mask; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Actor, and Worst Screen Couple for Son of the Mask in 2006; Notes: Allegedly helped his acting career by pretending to be his own agent. Dated Jennifer Love Hewitt in the late 2000s.)

Traylor Howard – (Known For: Me, Myself & Irene; Confessions of a Sexist Pig; Future BMT: Dirty Work; BMT: Son of the Mask; Notes: Probably most well known for her role as the assistant to Monk on the Emmy winning show Monk. I think she was the second assistant after Bitty Schram left the show.)

Alan Cumming – (Known For: Eyes Wide Shut; GoldenEye; X-Men 2; Spy Kids; Josie and the Pussycats; It’s Complicated; Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion; Battle of the Sexes; Spy Kids 3: Game Over; Emma; Titus; Spy Kids 2: Island of Lost Dreams; Nicholas Nickleby; Sweet Land; Black Beauty; Circle of Friends; The Anniversary Party; Dare; The Tempest; Hurricane Bianca; Future BMT: The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas; The Smurfs 2; The Smurfs; Strange Magic; Buddy; BMT: Son of the Mask; Spice World; Garfield; Get Carter; Show Dogs; Burlesque; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Supporting Actor for Son of the Mask in 2006; Notes: Was nominated for four Emmys, once for organizing the Tonys, and three other times as a guest star on The Good Wife. He won a Tony Awards as a lead in Cabaret in 1998.)

Budget/Gross – $84,000,000 / Domestic: $17,018,422 (Worldwide: $59,981,548)

(Brutal, although somehow I doubt they actually spent 84 million dollars on the film. That has to be some fudging. I still assume it was a pretty major loss considering the amount of CGI involved.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 6% (6/105): Overly frantic, painfully unfunny, and sorely missing the presence of Jim Carrey.

(Well yeah. There should never have been a sequel without Carrey. Reviewer Highlight: No doubt extensive market research shows that there’s an audience out there for movies like Son Of The Mask, but it’s too depressing to speculate who that might be. – Scott Tobias, Variety)

Poster – Sklogtown USA 2: Maskalicious

(Sometimes I just don’t have a pun for the poster. Deal with it. The whole thing makes me a little sad though. Not like Ace Ventura Jr. sad, but still pretty sad. Lots of things going on, nothing that I want to see. Good font, too much going on to understand. Could be worse, but couldn’t be sadder. C-)

Tagline(s) – The next generation of mischief (C+)

(This is fine. It gets the point across in a not totally terrible way, but not in a way that is interesting. The more concerning tagline on the poster is “From the director of Cats & Dogs.” That’s an F.)

Keyword – transformation

Top 10: Mortal Kombat (2021), Avengers: Endgame (2019), Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone (2001), The Conjuring 2 (2016), Wonder Woman 1984 (1984), Thor: Ragnarok (2017), The New Mutants (2020), Avengers: Infinity War (2018), Doctor Sleep (2019), The Matrix (1999)

Future BMT: 89.4 Vampires Suck (2010), 88.2 Street Fighter (1994), 69.5 Teen Wolf Too (1987), 69.1 The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause (2006), 68.8 The Shaggy Dog (2006), 68.7 Supergirl (1984), 65.0 Max Steel (2016), 63.0 Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie (1997), 61.0 Cursed (2005), 60.7 Skinwalkers (2006);

BMT: Masters of the Universe (1987), X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009), Fantastic Four (2015), Hellboy (2019), Vampire Academy (2014), Gods of Egypt (2016), Batman & Robin (1997), Event Horizon (1997), Transformers: The Last Knight (2017), X-Men: Dark Phoenix (2019), The Mummy (2017), Warcraft: The Beginning (2016), Transformers: Age of Extinction (2014), Super Mario Bros. (1993), R.I.P.D. (2013), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014), Lost in Space (1998), I Am Number Four (2011), Queen of the Damned (2002), Conan the Destroyer (1984), Pixels (2015), Little Nicky (2000), Seventh Son (2014), Mortal Kombat: Annihilation (1997), Slender Man (2018), Dragonball Evolution (2009), The Island of Dr. Moreau (1996), Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance (2011), Jason X (2001), Silent Hill: Revelation (2012), Dreamcatcher (2003), Dracula 2001 (2000), Beastly (2011), Son of the Mask (2005), The Lawnmower Man (1992), A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Dream Child (1989), I, Frankenstein (2014), The Golden Child (1986), Troll (1986), The Seeker: The Dark Is Rising (2007), Species II (1998), Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989), Vampire in Brooklyn (1995)

(Man, a lot of films do transformations. Only thing this really tells me is the Notability is below average for the film. I’m excited to watch Teen Wolf Too though.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 20) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Alan Cumming is No. 2 billed in Son of the Mask and No. 8 billed in Get Carter (2000), which also stars Sylvester Stallone (No. 1 billed) who is in Expendables 3 (No. 1 billed), which also stars Jason Statham (No. 2 billed) who is in In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Seige Tale (No. 1 billed), which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 4 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => 2 + 8 + 1 + 1 + 2 + 1 + 4 + 1 = 20. If we were to watch Buddy, and Two for the Money we can get the HoE Number down to 15.

Notes – Plans for a sequel, “The Mask II,’ were in the works years before this film. Nintendo Power magazine held a contest, and first prize was a walk-on role in that movie. The project was canceled, and Nintendo Power issued a public apology to the contest winner in their final issue. Years later, the winner was revealed as Nathan Ryan Runk, from Arbutus, Maryland. The film was technically on hold, so Runk could have chosen the role or money and merchandise. Runk, who was 12 at the time, chose the money, and received $5,000, a film crew jacket (which he later lost), and several Super Nintendo video games, including “Pilotwings 64” on Nintendo 64. He later claimed it was “absolutely the right call.” (Yeah it was, although it would have been a better call to keep the jacket in mint condition and sell it to me for another $5,000)

Film critic Richard Roeper admitted that in the five years he co-hosted with Roger Ebert, this film was the closest he’d come to walking out halfway. Looking back, he wishes he’d walked out.

Initially was supposed to be a follow-up to the original, with Jim Carrey returning as Stanley Ipkiss, but Carrey decided after making Ace Ventura 2 that playing the same character twice wasn’t interesting to him at the time, so the sequel was shelved, and this stand-alone film was developed instead due to Carrey’s indifference to the project. Subsequently, Carrey became more open to sequels, costarring in “Dumb and Dumber To” and stating in 2020 that he wanted to do sequels to both The Mask and Sonic the Hedgehog.

When asked why he agreed to do the film, Jamie Kennedy responded, “I’ll give you 2.5 million reasons.”

Jack Black turned down the role of Tim Avery. (Would have been an infinitely better movie, although still terrible)

Ben Stein is the only actor in this sequel who was also in The Mask (1994).

This is one of four times that a movie starring Jim Carrey had a sequel in which Carrey was not involved. The other sequels are: Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd (2003), Evan Almighty (2007) and Ace Ventura: Pet Detective Jr. (2009). (I cut it down, but the note did say Batman Forever didn’t count)

Two dogs played Otis. They were each taught different tricks. Their fur was dyed in patches so they matched on screen.

The character name Tim Avery is a reference to the cartoonist Tex Avery.

Inconsistent with The Mask. In the first movie the mask only works at night but in this one it seems to work anytime even during the day. (There are a bunch of incongruities, in the first it also suggests Loki was trapped in the mask, so him being a character is weird)

Marlyn Waynes, Matthew Lillard, and Ryan Reynolds were all considered for the role of “Tim Avery.”

Awards – Winner for the Razzie Award for Worst Remake or Sequel (2006)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Picture (2006)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Actor (Jamie Kennedy, 2006)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Supporting Actor (Alan Cumming, 2006)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Supporting Actor (Bob Hoskins, 2006)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Screen Couple (Jamie Kennedy, 2006)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Director (Lawrence Guterman, 2006)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Screenplay (Lance Khazei, 2006)

Young Guns II Preview

“So we can’t kill them off, that would be frowned upon,” Patrick says as he thumbs through the contracts for Rich and Poe Jrs. “Time machine?” Jamie suggests unhelpfully, but Patrick has to admit, aging them up via time travel must be considered. Particularly since they’ve kind of lost the thread on whether they are attempting to make something unironically good, ironically bad… or maybe neither. At the very least they realized that the nut shots, fart jokes, and giant piles of poo being shoved in people’s faces needed to stop. As they walk to a nearby food truck still pondering their predicament they observe a few rad social media celebs making a new video for Tik Tok or some shit. Cast in a new comedy by the studio hoping to cash in on their big time tween followings, they couldn’t really act. But Jamie and Patrick had to admit that the singing, dancing, and backflipping reminded them a little of what made Rich and Poe so fresh and dope in their first entry. “If only they could be Rich and Poe, Jrs., right?” Jamie says with a chuckle, but Patrick isn’t laughing. “Rich and Poe Jrs. contracts don’t mention anything about additional casting, right?” Jamie looks confused, but there is a twinkle in Patrick’s eye. The next day the Rich and Poe set looks more like a music video than a major motion picture. A couple of the Tik Tok gang are now portraying Richie and PJ, Poe’s older set of twins. But singing and dancing aren’t all they are going to be doing, as they’ve returned the film to its PG-13 roots with Richie and PJ having to take up the mantle of Rich and Poe as the department’s newest young guns. That’s right! We are watching the sequel to Young Guns (which barely doesn’t qualify for BMT), Young Guns II. The days of the major motion picture western starring a group of up and comers is far behind us at this point, let alone one that spawns a sequel. This is why it’s part of our 90’s Wild Card cycle as this feels like a distinctly 90’s phenomenon. All the worse for BMT. Let’s go!

Young Guns II: Blaze of Glory (1990) – BMeTric: 17.2; Notability: 52

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 36.8%; Notability: top 10.9%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 26.7% Higher BMeT: Rocky V, Ghost Dad, Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre III, Delta Force 2: The Colombian Connection, Wings of the Apache, 3 Men and a Little Lady, RoboCop 2, Navy Seals, Ernest Goes to Jail, Hard to Kill, Air America, Desperate Hours, Another 48 Hrs., Days of Thunder, The Rookie, Men at Work, The Guardian, Bird on a Wire, Marked for Death, The Forbidden Dance, and 16 more; Higher Notability: RoboCop 2, Predator 2, Days of Thunder, The Adventures of Ford Fairlane, Jetsons: The Movie, Air America; Lower RT: Ghost Dad, Spaced Invaders, Wings of the Apache, Meet the Applegates, Where the Heart Is, Delta Force 2: The Colombian Connection, Heart Condition, Ernest Goes to Jail, Opportunity Knocks, Air America, Everybody Wins, Brain Dead, Too Much Sun, Graffiti Bridge, Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre III, Navy Seals, Another 48 Hrs., Short Time, Stella, Sibling Rivalry and 19 more; Notes: That is mighty close to a cult classic right there. It hit 6.6 a little bit ago! That is rather high, no wonder the BMeTric has been dropping like a stone. The notability it excellent, they really pulled out all the stops for this young guns (intended) back in the early 90s huh?

RogerEbert.com – 2.0 stars – Actors often are advised to meditate on the characters they play, to get inside their skins and understand what makes them the way they are. “Young Guns II” presents the strange spectacle of actors who have apparently done more of that than the filmmakers have – so that we sense there’s more to these people than meets the eye. The screenplay feels unfinished, the direction is ambling, but the performances are interesting.

(Interesting. That gives me some hope I’ll like the movies since I tend to like the actors involved. So if the performances by the likeable actors are the best part, than that should make it okay in the end.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r-FmfxLy7fo/

(Actually looks pretty good given you’ve seen the first. It is more gritty that the poster or perception of a 1990 western might suggest, but that is in line with the style of the first film. I can’t help but like Estevez’s giggly portrayal of Billy the Kid as well. Funny there is no mention of the bookend segments at all.)

Directors – Geoff Murphy – (Known For: The Quiet Earth; Fortress 2; Goodbye Pork Pie; Utu; Never Say Die; Spooked; Future BMT: Under Siege 2: Dark Territory; Freejack; BMT: Young Guns II: Blaze of Glory; Notes: Received the Order of Merit from the New Zealand government for his contributions to film.)

Writers – John Fusco (characters & written by) – (Known For: Spirit Riding Free; The Highwaymen; Hidalgo; The Forbidden Kingdom; Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron; Young Guns; Thunderheart; Crossroads; Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon: Sword of Destiny; The Babe; Loch Ness; Future BMT: The Shack; BMT: Young Guns II: Blaze of Glory; Notes: Travelled the American South as a blues musician before going back to school to become a screenwriter. Apparently has a black belt in kung fu.)

Actors – Emilio Estevez – (Known For: The Outsiders; The Breakfast Club; Mission: Impossible; St. Elmo’s Fire; Young Guns; Stakeout; Badlands; The Way; Repo Man; Bobby; The Public; Tex; The War at Home; Never on Tuesday; Sand; The L.A. Riot Spectacular; Los reyes magos; Future BMT: D3: The Mighty Ducks; Freejack; Another Stakeout; Men at Work; Arthur and the Invisibles; D2: The Mighty Ducks; Loaded Weapon 1; The Mighty Ducks; Nightmares; Judgment Night; That Was Then… This Is Now; BMT: Maximum Overdrive; Young Guns II: Blaze of Glory; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Actor for Maximum Overdrive in 1987; Notes: For most of the 2000s he was pretty much exclusively a director. He just appeared in the Disney+ sequel series to Mighty Ducks though, and is apparently going to direct and star in a third Young Guns Film called Guns 3: Alias Billy the Kid … WTF?)

Kiefer Sutherland – (Known For: A Few Good Men; Stand by Me; The Lost Boys; A Time to Kill; Melancholia; Dark City; Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me; Young Guns; Monsters vs. Aliens; At Close Range; Flatliners; Phone Booth; Freeway; The Vanishing; Twin Peaks: The Missing Pieces; The Reluctant Fundamentalist; To End All Wars; Bright Lights, Big City; Twelve; Forsaken; Future BMT: The Wild; Mirrors; The Sentinel; Taking Lives; Renegades; The Cowboy Way; Eye for an Eye; The Three Musketeers; The Nutcracker Prince; BMT: Zoolander 2; Marmaduke; Flatliners; Pompeii; Young Guns II: Blaze of Glory; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Supporting Actor for Pompeii in 2015; Notes: Son of Donald Sutherland he was often associated with the Brat Pack of the late 80s. Settled into being one of the most famous television actors of the 2000s starring in 24, Designated Survivor, and now the new Fugitive series.)

Lou Diamond Phillips – (Known For: Young Guns; La Bamba; Stand and Deliver; The 33; Courage Under Fire; The Big Hit; Another Day in Paradise; Sky; Demon Wind; Picking Up the Pieces; Disorganised Crime; Filly Brown; Stark Raving Mad; Absolon; Route 666; Shadow of the Wolf; S.I.S.: Extreme Justice; Teresa’s Tattoo; A Show of Force; Sanitarium; Future BMT: Renegades; The First Power; Brokedown Palace; BMT: Bats; Supernova; Hollywood Homicide; Young Guns II: Blaze of Glory; Notes: Nominated for an Emmy for The Crossroads of History. Apparently is a musician playing with the band The Pipefitters with Lou Diamond Phillips, and was one of the final few actors considered to replace David Duchovny in seasons 8 and 9 of the X-files.)

Budget/Gross – $20 million / Domestic: $44,143,410 (Worldwide: $44,143,410)

(Not bad, but I imagine the original made a lot more … huh, nope, it made basically exactly the same amount, $45 million. So I have to assume the absence of a completed trilogy is due to Estevez not being interested, or the plotline precluding such a possibility (which seems unlikely).)

Rotten Tomatoes – 35% (6/17)

(I’ll have to make a consensus: Something feels off about this as compared to the predecessor, as if they half wrote the film and let the actors fill in the rest. Reviewer Highlight: [W]henever a few of the Young Guns get together and have to behave like soulful cowboys, the movie stops dead in its tracks. The trouble with so many of today’s young actors is that there’s no deep-seated yearning or fury in their performances. – Owen Gleiberman, Entertainment Weekly)

Poster – Young Sklogs 2: Sklogs with Attitude

(Everytime I tried to make a pun on the title it came out sounding like the title of a porn movie. Starting a film with the word “young” is just bad news. Anyway, weird poster. Spacing is weird, the color scheme is kinda weird, and a bunch of the actors look kinda weird. The font is OK, though. C-.)

Tagline(s) – The West just got wilder. (C)

(Even wilder than the first! I can’t believe it. If the point is just to get people into the seats without talking their ear off, then this is serviceable. But not much better than that.)

Keyword – cowboy

Top 10: Once Upon a Time… In Hollywood (2019), Tombstone (1993), Brokeback Mountain (2005), No Country for Old Men (2007), News of the World (2020), The Outsiders (1983), The Big Lebowski (1998), Boogie Nights (1997), The Hateful Eight (2015), Dances with Wolves (1990)

Future BMT: 47.1 Serving Sara (2002), 46.2 Smokey and the Bandit Ride Again (1980), 45.7 Bad Girls (1994), 35.5 Playmobil: The Movie (2019), 33.9 Hoot (2006), 31.9 Armed and Dangerous (1986), 31.5 Lightning Jack (1994), 30.9 All the Pretty Horses (2000), 30.7 A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014), 29.1 Hope Floats (1998);

BMT: The Lone Ranger (2013), Ghost Rider (2007), Wild Wild West (1999), Jonah Hex (2010), Young Guns II: Blaze of Glory (1990), Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre III (1990)

(Interestings hardly any of the future BMT choices are traditional Westerns like this one. Bad Girls might genuinely be the only one, with A Million Ways to Die in the West being a comedic version of it. Interesting resurgences in the 00s, but the genre does seem to be fairly small potatoes at this point despite still having prestige.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 19) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Lou Diamond Phillips is No. 3 billed in Young Guns II: Blaze of Glory and No. 11 billed in Hollywood Homicide, which also stars Josh Hartnett (No. 2 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 3 billed) => 3 + 11 + 2 + 3 = 19. If we were to watch Eye for an Eye we can get the HoE Number down to 12.

Notes – The scene where Arkansas Dave Rudabaugh (Christian Slater) puts a knife through Chavez’ arm was added due to Lou Diamond Phillips’ breaking his arm during filming.

Emilio Estevez (Billy) originally approached Jon Bon Jovi to ask him for permission to include the song “Wanted Dead Or Alive” on the soundtrack. Bon Jovi didn’t feel the songs lyrics were appropriate; however, he was inspired by the project and resolved to write a new song for the film that would be more in keeping with the period and setting. He quickly wrote the song “Blaze of Glory”, and performed it on acoustic guitar in the New Mexico desert for Estevez and John Fusco.

Lou Diamond Phillips (Chavez) was dragged by a spooked horse when filming a new scene. He broke his arm and a kneecap. The horse was spooked when Emilio Estevez (Billy) fired a gun and threw Lou off. The horse then ran, dragging Lou by the noose around Lou’s neck and tied to the saddle horn. The scene was never re-filmed. Lou talks about this incident on Celebrity Close Calls (2010).

There were only three witnesses to the alleged killing of Billy the Kid by Pat Garrett: Garrett himself and Deputies John W. Poe (Viggo Mortensen) and Thomas McKinney. While McKinney claimed to slightly know the Kid, Poe had never previously laid eyes on him. Within moments after the shooting, Poe told Garrett he had “shot the wrong man”. Since it was too dark in the room for a visual identification, Garrett claimed he knew it was the Kid by his voice, even though all present had only heard whispers. Ultimately both Poe and McKinney agreed with Garrett, but McKinney recanted years later and claimed, like Poe before him, that Garrett had killed someone else.

The Mexican Blackbird, the biracial prostitute that Billy talks about, is a ZZ Top song from 1975.

Although the movie depicts Pat Garrett and Billy the Kid as close friends who were at one time partners in crime this is a considerable stretching of the truth. In reality their association was much more casual in nature stemming from their mutual patronage of Beaver Smith’s saloon in Fort Sumner where they were both avid players of the card game Casino. They had a cordial acquaintance with one another but were never close friends, nor did they ever ride together as outlaws.

On New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson’s last day in office, he discounted any and all claims of “Brushy” Bill Roberts claim to be Billy the Kid.

This is the second western movie for which Alan Silvestri composed music in 1990. The first was Back to the Future Part III (1990).

The real Jose Chavez Y Chavez also survived the Lincoln County wars, dying peacefully in 1923.

The real Josiah Gordon “Doc” Scurlock did not die during the Lincoln County Wars. He passed away in 1929 of old age, having spent much of his life trying to disassociate himself with his past.

Before the end credits roll post scripts are given for Dave Raudabaugh, Pat Garrett and Brushy Bill however, none are given for Doc or Chavez – this is because both survived beyond the scope of this film.

Awards – Nominee for the Oscar for Best Music, Original Song (Jon Bon Jovi, 1991)

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1 Preview

Fresh off the complete destruction of Adam Banks’ office, Patrick delicately asks Jamie what his plan is. “Burn it all to the ground,” Jamie says matter-of-factly and for a moment his eyes get a faraway look and Patrick has a chilling sensation run up his spine. Ever since they were children Jamie has seemed different somehow, like an unknown and yet horrific paranormal power lurks beneath his statuesque exterior. But Patrick knows that “calm” is the operative word when dealing with a couple of cybertronic nuisances. “That’s just what they want us to do. The question is what they don’t want us to do,” he helpfully suggests to Jamie. The fire quickly winks out in his eyes and Jamie stops in his tracks to ponder. “Yeah, and they actually haven’t done anything yet, right? Just make a couple of phone calls. That can’t be their whole plan.” As they continue to walk and ponder they start to get the sense that everyone is looking at them. There is a distinct buzz on set and they have the feeling that it’s not entirely the result of the steamy Chris Klein yoga scene they’ll be filming later that day. Suddenly Jamie stops, his mouth agape, and Patrick quickly sees why. On the set stands Angel, infamous costar of their previous cat-astrophic film fiasco. Seems like the cyborgs weren’t just making calls to Adam Banks, but to the casting director as well. Patrick would have scoffed at this juvenile attempt at disruption, after all they killed Angel once, they can do it again, if not for one other shocking detail… Angel was also making out with CK’s costar (and real life girlfriend) Leighton Vanderschmidt in what can only be described as the beginnings of a disastrous love triangle. Gulp. That’s right! We are finishing the Twilight saga franchise by watching the second (and currently last) BMT qualifying entry: The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1. It is by all accounts the worst entry in the series and interestingly preceded what is regarded as the best entry in Part 2. Be prepared to be bored by sad vampires and shirtless werewolves. Let’s go!    

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1 (2011) – BMeTric: 72.3; Notability: 84

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 2.0%; Notability: top 5.6%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 20.6% Higher BMeT: Jack and Jill, Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance, Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World, Shark Night 3D, Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son; Higher Notability: Transformers: Dark of the Moon, Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides, Green Lantern, Cars 2; Lower RT: Jack and Jill, Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star, The Roommate, A Little Bit of Heaven, Hick, Abduction, Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son, Dream House, New Year’s Eve, 666: The Prophecy, Honey 2, Red Riding Hood, Trespass, Hoodwinked Too! Hood vs. Evil, Season of the Witch, Atlas Shrugged: Part I, The Moth Diaries, Zookeeper, The Ledge, Something Borrowed and 26 more; Notes: Wow, it has been sitting stock still at 4.9 forever. Has that genuinely-bad-movie staying power I love to see. And my god, the cred. 80+ Notability?! 70+ BMeTric?! That is really incredible.

RogerEbert.com – 2.5 stars – Kristen Stewart is really pretty good here, although like almost all actresses she believes pregnant women rub their baby bumps unceasingly. I would have liked more scenes developing her thoughts about married life. Although the possibility of an abortion is hinted at, we never learn her thinking on this question: Does a vampire baby have a soul? Does it have a right to life although, technically, it’s half dead? Luckily, we must wait only until Nov. 16, 2012, when “The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2” will open. It had better have the answers. If it doesn’t, Charlie Swan has a gun and he knows how to use it.

(A wild review. Spoiler alert, I watched this film ages ago of my own free will. It is horrible and boring. The fact that this review have it 2.5 out of four stars is perplexing. Genuinely perplexing. I don’t understand. It isn’t a movie. It is half a movie, and not the good half! I can’t get over this.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PQNLfo-SOR4/

(That is the beginning of a movie, right? She gets pregnant, and the conflict is that the baby is eating her because it is a vampire … and then nothing because the movie ends and we skip to the next movie. I suppose Marvel did that a bit with Infinity War and Endgame, but not really. I’m glad that trend died with things like the Divergent series.)

Directors – Bill Condon – (Known For: Beauty and the Beast; The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2; Dreamgirls; The Good Liar; Kinsey; Mr. Holmes; Gods and Monsters; Sister, Sister; Future BMT: Candyman: Farewell to the Flesh; The Fifth Estate; BMT: The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1; Razzie Notes: Winner for Worst Director for The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2 in 2013; and Nominee for Worst Director for The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1 in 2012; Notes: Annoying he got nominated for the second one as well which is actually pretty good. Won an Oscar for writing Gods and Monsters.)

Writers – Melissa Rosenberg (screenplay) – (Known For: Twilight; The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2; The Twilight Saga: Eclipse; Future BMT: Step Up; BMT: The Twilight Saga: New Moon; The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Screenplay in 2010 for The Twilight Saga: New Moon; in 2011 for The Twilight Saga: Eclipse; in 2012 for The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1; and in 2013 for The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2; Notes: Produced Dexter for which she was nominated for three Emmys. She also produced The O.C. and Jessice Jones among others. She adapted all of the screenplays for Meyer.)

Stephenie Meyer (novel) – (Known For: Twilight; The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2; The Twilight Saga: Eclipse; BMT: The Twilight Saga: New Moon; The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1; The Host; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Screenplay for The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2 in 2013; Notes: Notably a mormon (themes of which are present throughout Twilight) and notoriously Twilight was the inspiration for Fifty Shades of Grey among other things.)

Actors – Kristen Stewart – (Known For: Twilight; Into the Wild; Underwater, Charlie’s Angels; The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2; Snow White and the Huntsman; Happiest Season; Panic Room; Adventureland; The Twilight Saga: Eclipse; On the Road; Zathura: A Space Adventure; Still Alice; Cafe Society; The Runaways; American Ultra; Seberg; Speak; Billy Lynn’s Long Halftime Walk; Equals; Lizzie; Future BMT: The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas; Cold Creek Manor; The Messengers; Catch That Kid; BMT: The Twilight Saga: New Moon; The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1; Jumper; Razzie Notes: Winner for Worst Actress in 2013 for Snow White and the Huntsman, and The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2; Nominee for Worst Actress, and Worst Screen Couple for The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1 in 2012; Nominee for Worst Actress for The Twilight Saga: Eclipse in 2011; and Nominee for Worst Screen Couple in 2010 for The Twilight Saga: New Moon; and in 2013 for The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2; Notes: Had an off-and-on relationship with Pattinson throughout the series. Is slated to direct her first feature at some point, The Chronology of Water.)

Robert Pattinson – (Known For: Tenet; The Devil All the Time; Twilight; The Lighthouse; Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire; The King; Good Time; The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2; The Lost City of Z; High Life; The Twilight Saga: Eclipse; Waiting for the Barbarians; Maps to the Stars; Cosmopolis; Water for Elephants; The Rover; Queen of the Desert; Damsel; Vanity Fair; Life; Future BMT: Remember Me; BMT: The Twilight Saga: New Moon; The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Actor in 2011 for Remember Me, and The Twilight Saga: Eclipse; and in 2013 for The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2; Nominee for Worst Supporting Actor, and Worst Screen Couple for The Twilight Saga: New Moon in 2010; and Nominee for Worst Screen Couple in 2012 for The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1; and in 2013 for The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2; Notes: He’s Batman! He’s from London and has a really solid independent film resume despite being most well known for this series.)

Taylor Lautner – (Known For: Twilight; The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2; The Twilight Saga: Eclipse; Tracers; Run the Tide; Shadow Fury; Future BMT: The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl 3-D; BMT: The Twilight Saga: New Moon; The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1; The Ridiculous 6; Abduction; Grown Ups 2; Cheaper by the Dozen 2; Valentine’s Day; Razzie Notes: Winner for Worst Supporting Actor, and Worst Screen Couple for The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2 in 2013; Nominee for Worst Actor in 2011 for The Twilight Saga: Eclipse, and Valentine’s Day; and in 2012 for Abduction, and The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1; Nominee for Worst Supporting Actor for Grown Ups 2 in 2014; and Nominee for Worst Screen Couple in 2010 for The Twilight Saga: New Moon; and in 2012 for The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1; Notes: A kid actor, he is also an accomplished martial artist, and is Grown Ups 2 is anything to go off of a very good gymnast.)

Budget/Gross – $110,000,000 / Domestic: $281,287,133 (Worldwide: $712,205,856)

(A huge hit. They all were. They made like billions of dollars and people were into Jacob versus Edward and stuff. Remember?)

Rotten Tomatoes – 25% (52/210): Slow, joyless, and loaded with unintentionally humorous moments, Breaking Dawn Part 1 may satisfy the Twilight faithful, but it’s strictly for fans of the franchise.

(This is basically what I remember, that somehow they made a feature length film out of the first ten minutes of another much better film. Reviewer Highlight: By any normal standard, this is a terrible movie, with stilted dialogue and leaden pacing — every 15 minutes or so, the action stops for a musical montage involving slow-motion handsomeness. But the Twilight saga stopped being normal a long time ago. – Dana Stevens, Slate)

Poster – Finally Vampire Sex Time – Part 1

(This is a very appropriate poster because I look at it and immediately go “that looks boring” so good on them for sticking to truth in advertising. Good font, interesting spacing, and very airbrushed skin. C.)

Tagline(s) – Forever is only the beginning (C+)

(Nooooooooo. Oh sorry I thought you meant I would have to watch this film forever and this first viewing is just the beginning. Phew. The tagline is nonsense in the context of the film. I understand what they mean, but it gets a little too meta for my taste. Still, short and somewhat clever.)

Keyword – vampire

Top 10: Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (2010), Twilight (2008), Jennifer’s Body (2009), Hotel Transylvania (2012), Doctor Sleep (2019), Hellboy (2019), Bram Stoker’s Dracula (1992), Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (2012), The Lost Boys (1987), Hotel Transylvania 3: A Monster Vacation (2018)

Future BMT: 89.4 Vampires Suck (2010), 87.9 BloodRayne (2005), 51.1 Dylan Dog: Dead of Night (2010), 48.6 Sleepwalkers (1992), 43.9 Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992), 43.8 Priest (2011), 42.2 Transylvania 6-5000 (1985), 41.8 Bordello of Blood (1996), 40.8 The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (2003), 39.4 The Forsaken (2001);

BMT: Hellboy (2019), The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1 (2011), Vampire Academy (2014), The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009), Queen of the Damned (2002), Dracula 2001 (2000), Ultraviolet (2006), Vampire in Brooklyn (1995), Dudley Do-Right (1999)

(Amazing we still have three 50+ BMeTric vampire films left. I’m probably most excited for LXG (that’s League of Extraordinary Gentlemen) because that film is absurd.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 15) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Taylor Lautner is No. 3 billed in The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1 and No. 2 billed in Ridiculous Six, which also stars Adam Sandler (No. 1 billed) who is in Jack and Jill (No. 1 billed), which also stars Al Pacino (No. 3 billed) who is in 88 Minutes (No. 1 billed), which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => 3 + 2 + 1 + 1 + 3 + 1 + 3 + 1 = 15. If we were to watch The Glass House we can get the HoE Number down to 13.

Notes – Robert Pattinson took a boat driving lesson so he would be able to drive the boat in the honeymoon scenes. Despite taking lessons, he crashed the boat in both the lessons and while filming in Brazil.

It took three hours to apply all the necessary make-up effects to Kristen Stewart to create Bella’s emaciated physical appearance. Effects that couldn’t be achieved with make-up were created digitally in post-production.

In order to keep the budget on both parts of Breaking Dawn reasonable, even though it is substantially greater than the previous installments in the series, much of the film was shot in and around Baton Rouge, Louisiana and Celtic Studios in Baton Rouge.

Kristen Stewart said in an interview that filming Bella and Edward’s honeymoon sex scene was hard to do, but she was very happy with the final result.

Robert Pattinson went through a strict diet and exercise regime for six months in preparation before filming. He stopped his routine after filming the much-talked-about sex scene.

During their vows and first kiss as husband and wife, the song “Flightless Bird, American Mouth” by Iron & Wine plays. This is the same song they danced to at the prom at the end of the first Twilight (2008) installment when Bella first tries to convince Edward to turn her so they can be together forever.

Sofia Coppola was very interested in directing this project, but she was only willing to direct one part of ‘Breaking Dawn’, which Summit wanted to split in two parts.

The soundtrack song “Cold” by Aqualung and Lucy Schwartz includes the lyrics “sing for the lion and lamb”. This is a line from the first film/book of the franchise when Edward says “So the lion fell in love with the lamb”.

In the books, Edward’s time hunting humans is revealed much earlier. It was Robert Pattinson who approached director Bill Condon about including that arc in the film.

In the indoor chess game, Edward missed the best move, Qa1, as placing the queen in the corner instantly checkmates.

When Bella and Edward have sex for the first time it is prefaced by a scene where Bella is unable to find a swimsuit in her suitcase and decided to enter the water completely nude. However in a later scene Bella and Edward go swimming again and Bella now has on a swimsuit.

One of the key elements in both the book and the movie was how Edward tries to distract Bella with activities in order to keep her from thinking about having sex again. In the movie, one of the activities is a game of chess, with both red and white pieces, just like the pieces on the cover of the book.

Awards – Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Actor (Taylor Lautner, 2012)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Director (Bill Condon, 2012)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Picture (2012)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Ensemble (2012)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Screen Couple (Kristen Stewart, Taylor Lautner, Robert Pattinson, 2012)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Screenplay (Melissa Rosenberg, Stephenie Meyer, 2012)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Prequel, Remake, Rip-Off or Sequel (2012)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Actress (Kristen Stewart, 2012)

Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol Preview

Jamie and Patrick walk down a dark alley, steam spewing from the sewer grates. Patrick twirls a baton and Jamie mutters, “if I wanted to chase after aliums I would have joined the Alium Brigade,” getting a chuckle from Patrick. They stop in their tracks and look at each other in confusion. Why are they suddenly cops again? They look down at their uniforms and see the shiny nametags declaring them Det. Rich and Poe. Wait a tick, that can’t be right? They aren’t Rich and Poe… they’re trying to save Rich and Poe. And yet this dream is so real. They can smell the hot summer stench of the city. They can feel the sweat soaking through their slightly too-tight uniforms. They can hear the dusky chuckle of a nearby fiend. “Who-who’s that?” stammers Jamie. From the shadows steps a horrible fiend. Oh! He’s terrifying and oh boy… I mean, if you could see him you would def be totally scared for sure. Just check this out: “Get ready for some action, bitches,” the monster lisps as he proceeds to do a dumbo somersault into some trash cans like a dope. Jamie and Patrick shrug and help the big stupid monster up. He seems a bit embarrassed and assures them that he is definitely scary, it’s just that he hasn’t been sleeping super great. “Probably cause you’re haunting our dreams,” Patrick suggests helpfully, “so maybe stop that.” The monster shrugs in agreement. “Yeah and try this Rich and Poe Blanket and Tea set. It might help and is pretty rad.” But the monster seems ambivalent, “I don’t care for that… seems like odd branding.” 

Jamie and Patrick wake up screaming in a cold sweat. What a nightmare. They’re just glad they’re back in the real world as regular citizens. That’s right! We are catching another entry in the classic comedy series Police Academy by hitting the fourth film, Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol. The third film barely doesn’t qualify, which helps simplify things. Bring on the Gutes! Let’s go!

Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol (1987) – BMeTric: 60.4; Notability: 54

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 1.6%; Notability: top 6.4%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 0.0% Higher BMeT: Superman IV: The Quest for Peace, Teen Wolf Too; Higher Notability: Superman IV: The Quest for Peace, Masters of the Universe, Who’s That Girl; Notes: … You know normally I would be like “whatever, 5.0 is pretty bad”, but this film has a 0% on Rotten Tomatoes, it got a BOMB from Leonard, just look at his six word review! I would have imagined this would be much lower, even in the 3.0s. The Notability is incredibly high … I guess there are like 40 people in this super ensemble cast.

Leonard Maltin – BOMB –  More of the same, only worse.

(My God, Leonard! The writers had families! This series is a marvel. 2.5 stars, BOMB, 1.5 stars, BOMB, BOMB, BOMB, BOMB … five of Leonard’s BOMB reviews are for this series alone. Leonard mostly follows along with critics in general, the first is the best, the third is the closest to being fine for the sequels, everything else is awful.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=adlo9hJpemE/

(Looks brutal. But can we expect anything less from the late entries to this franchise? I think it is probably not great that almost no screen time is devoted to the actual Citizens on Patrol. And that is despite that fact that at least one of them is definitely in the cartoon series, so they were likely intent on carrying through popular characters across the sequels. What a weird and wild series this is.)

Directors – Jim Drake – (Future BMT: Cannonball Fever; BMT: Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Director for Speed Zone in 1990; Notes: Nominated for two Emmys for directing episodes of The Golden Girls and Buffalo Bill.)

Writers – Neal Israel (characters) – (Known For: Real Genius; Bachelor Party; Police Academy 3: Back in Training; Police Academy: Mission to Moscow; Americathon; Tunnel Vision; Future BMT: Police Academy 6: City Under Siege; Look Who’s Talking Too; Police Academy 5: Assignment: Miami Beach; BMT: Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol; Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment; Police Academy; Notes: Helped raise Mollie Heckerling who was the biological daughter of Harold Ramis, something she details in her book Ghostbuster’s Daughter.)

Pat Proft (characters) – (Known For: The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad!; Hot Shots!; Real Genius; Bachelor Party; Naked Gun 33 1/3: The Final Insult; Hot Shots! Part Deux; The Naked Gun 2½: The Smell of Fear; Police Academy 3: Back in Training; Police Academy: Mission to Moscow; Brain Donors; Lucky Stiff; Future BMT: Police Academy 6: City Under Siege; Mr. Magoo; Police Academy 5: Assignment: Miami Beach; Scary Movie 4; Scary Movie 3; High School High; Wrongfully Accused; BMT: Scary Movie 5; Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol; Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment; Police Academy; Notes: Nominated for an Emmy for Van Dyke and Company, he was good friends with Zucker and wrote on basically all of their spoof films as well.)

Gene Quintano (written by) – (Known For: Police Academy 3: Back in Training; Allan Quatermain and the Lost City of Gold; Sudden Death; El tesoro de las cuatro coronas; Funky Monkey; Comin’ at Ya!; Future BMT: Police Academy 5: Assignment: Miami Beach; Operation Dumbo Drop; King Solomon’s Mines; Loaded Weapon 1; BMT: Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol; The Musketeer; Notes: Was offered the directing role for this film, but turned it down. Regretting it he eventually debuted with Honeymoon Academy starring Kim Catrall which went straight to video.)

Barry W. Blaustein and David Sheffield (characters) (uncredited) – (Known For: Coming 2 America; Coming to America; The Nutty Professor; Boomerang; Police Academy 3: Back in Training; Future BMT: Nutty Professor II: The Klumps; Police Academy 5: Assignment: Miami Beach; The Honeymooners; BMT: Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol; Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment; Notes: Both were writers on SNL in the early 80s and ended up writing on a bunch of Eddie Murphy films as a result.)

Actors – Steve Guttenberg – (Known For: Cocoon; Roe v. Wade; Rifkin’s Festival; Short Circuit; 3 Men and a Baby; Bigger; Diner; The Boys from Brazil; Trauma Center; Police Academy 3: Back in Training; Amazon Women on the Moon; The Bedroom Window; Rollercoaster; Home for the Holidays; Don’t Tell Her It’s Me; Lez Bomb; Major Movie Star; Zeus and Roxanne; Future BMT: 3 Men and a Little Lady; Cocoon: The Return; The Big Green; It Takes Two; High Spirits; Surrender; BMT: Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol; Can’t Stop the Music; Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment; Police Academy; Notes: You know The Gutes! I would highly recommend his episode of Party Down, I think it probably reflects what appears to be the genuine kindness of Steve Guttenberg.)

Bubba Smith – (Known For: Gremlins 2: The New Batch; Police Academy 3: Back in Training; The Silence of the Hams; Black Moon Rising; The Naked Truth; Full Clip; Down ‘n Dirty; The Wild Pair; Future BMT: Police Academy 6: City Under Siege; Police Academy 5: Assignment: Miami Beach; Stroker Ace; BMT: Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol; Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment; Police Academy; Notes: Played in the NFL for ten years before switching to acting. Was diagnosed with CTE after his death in 2011.)

Michael Winslow – (Known For: Spaceballs; Gremlins; Police Academy 3: Back in Training; Nice Dreams; Police Academy: Mission to Moscow; The Great Buck Howard; Killing Hasselhoff; Gingerclown; Tag: The Assassination Game; Alphabet City; The Trumpet of the Swan; CHARACTERz; Think Big; Robodoc; Far Out Man; Lovelines; Buy & Cell; Underground Aces; Going Under; Future BMT: Police Academy 6: City Under Siege; Police Academy 5: Assignment: Miami Beach; BMT: Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol; Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment; Police Academy; Notes: Decided to pursue standup as the Man of 10,000 Sound Effects. He moved to Los Angeles and ended up winning The Gong Show twice.)

Budget/Gross – $17 million / Domestic: $28,061,343 (Worldwide: $28,061,343)

(Just printed money. And according to some of the actors in it (Graf in particular) a decent paycheck, so I guess rest assured that that $17 million did make its way into the stars’ pockets. Is there an equivalent to this kind of stuff these days? Or was it all absorbed into like … web series or something?)

Rotten Tomatoes – 0% (0/20): Utterly, completely, thoroughly and astonishingly unfunny, Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol sends a once-innocuous franchise plummeting to agonizing new depths.

(Wow a 0%. Actually that isn’t nearly as impressive as you think. The first three films are fairly normal (55%, 31%, 40%) review wise … and then the last four all have 0%!! That is just … well, that is something else. Reviewer Highlight: Script is merely a collection of gags tied together by the slightest suggestion of a story. – Variety Staff)

Poster – The Gute’s Big Balloon Adventure

(I really like this. I know there are some recent comedies that have played on the tradition of comedy posters, but there isn’t anything quite like an original. Just look at those cartoon renditions of real people all doing zany things in a balloon! Look at the font! The biggest problem really is that it makes it seem like a film about hot air balloon cops, which is honestly better than the actual plot of Police Academy IV: Citizens on Patrol. A)

Tagline(s) – Take off with the original cast… and some new civilian recruits as they take to the streets and the skies to fight crime. (D+)

(They really are leaning on the final hot air balloon/stunt plane finale. They mostly in fact do not take to the skies. Otherwise this is an accurate and disastrously long tagline. D+. A bump for the little “take off” pun at the beginning but that’s about it.)

Keyword – police chase

Top 10: The Dark Knight (2008), Knives Out (2019), Joker (2019), The Dark Knight Rises (2012), Captain America: Civil War (2016), Birds of Prey (2020), The Hitman’s Bodyguard (2017), The Goonies (1985), Mission: Impossible – Fallout (2018), Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (2018)

Future BMT: 73.8 Police Academy 6: City Under Siege (1989), 65.1 The Cold Light of Day (2012), 57.4 First Sunday (2008), 56.8 The Transporter Refueled (2015), 53.4 Meet the Browns (2008), 51.9 The Eye (2008), 50.8 The Watcher (2000), 49.1 Showtime (2002), 48.6 Sleepwalkers (1992), 47.5 Feel the Noise (2007);

BMT: Armageddon (1998), Angel Has Fallen (2019), 2 Fast 2 Furious (2003), Transformers: The Last Knight (2017), Gone in Sixty Seconds (2000), CHIPS (2017), Super Mario Bros. (1993), Need for Speed (2014), Battleship (2012), A Walk to Remember (2002), Speed 2: Cruise Control (1997), Swordfish (2001), R.I.P.D. (2013), The Cannonball Run (1981), Daylight (1996), The Pacifier (2005), Cradle 2 the Grave (2003), Ride Along (2014), Cobra (1986), Exit Wounds (2001), Paycheck (2003), Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol (1987), Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li (2009), Around the World in 80 Days (2004), Alex Cross (2012), Getaway (2013), Kangaroo Jack (2003), Ride Along 2 (2016), Hollywood Homicide (2003), Twisted (2004), Steel (1997)

(I did wonder if it would increase over time. It does seem to be the case. I guess with things like 3D printing and fabricating fake cars and CGI it’ll eventually reach a saturation point. Police chases look cool, but there is only so many films which can have them. Our brains are going to melt when we watch Police Academy 5, 6, and 7 all in one weekend.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 16) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Sharon Stone is No. 4 billed in Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol and No. 2 billed in The Specialist, which also stars Sylvester Stallone (No. 1 billed) who is in Expendables 3 (No. 1 billed), which also stars Jason Statham (No. 2 billed) who is in In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Seige Tale (No. 1 billed), which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 4 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => 4 + 2 + 1 + 1 + 2 + 1 + 4 + 1 = 16. If we were to watch Surrender we can get the HoE Number down to 12.

Notes – The collapse of her first marriage contributed to Sharon Stone’s decision to work on this movie. Of wanting to have some fun after a difficult period in her life, she said that “hanging out with a gang of comedians, it was the best therapy.” (That’s nice)

Final appearance of the Mimico Lunatic Asylum. The iconic location was used as the Academy campus in the first, third and fourth films in the series.

Tony Hawk said this was the only job, from which he was ever fired. Most of the stunt doubles were from the Bones Brigade because their manager, former pro skateboarder Stacy Peralta, worked as a second-unit director on the film. As it turned out, Hawk was replaced as a stunt double for David Spade, because he was too tall. (Huh, he’s in the credits. That’s interesting)

Bobcat Goldthwait and Tim Kazurinsky were brought on-board at the last minute to replace Bruce Mahler (Fackler), who was dropped from the film, due to negotiations falling apart over his pay. As a result of this, the Fackler character ended up being omitted from Police Academy: The Series (1988), and the comic book. (That is interesting, I had to look him up to remind me of who he was. He eventually returns in number six)

Film debut of David Spade. According to Steve Guttenberg’s biography, “The Guttenberg Bible”, Guttenberg took Spade under his wing during shooting in Toronto, Ontario. He also bought Spade an expensive Rolex watch. (Cool)

The last “Police Academy” movie to feature the Blue Oyster Bar. (Nooooooooooooo as gross and offensive as it was I was really hoping they’d have The Blue Oyster Bar in cyrillic when they went to Russia)

Despite the entire series’ negative critical reception, this was the only “Police Academy” movie to get a Razzie Award nomination. Brian Wilson’s “Let’s Go to Heaven in My Car” was nominated for Worst Original Song. It lost to “I Want Your Sex” from Beverly Hills Cop II (1987).

During the scene where Capt. Harris straddles the chain link fence, G.W. Bailey’s stunt double willingly took a hard fall directly onto the pavement, with no mat to protect him. (It looks like it really really hurt, I gasped when I saw it)

Steve Guttenberg’s final appearance as Mahoney, until his announced return to the franchise over three decades later in the eighth Police Academy movie. (Oh … why did I think he was in all of them except for the seventh? I might have been thinking of Graf).

A “Police Academy” spin-off titled “Commando School” was being planned at the time of this movie’s initial release, but it never made it to the production phase.

Was to be filmed immediately after Police Academy 3: Back in Training (1986), but production was held up by the death of that film’s director, Jerry Paris.

Tackleberry’s wife was not initially intended to appear in the film; Colleen Camp was unavailable for the initial shooting dates, which were back-to-back with those of the third film. However, the delay resulting from having to hire a new director after the death of Jerry Paris resulted in Camp being available after all, and her character was given a one-scene cameo appearance.

Two versions of the pool scene were filmed. One had Leslie Easterbrook in a wet T-shirt with her breasts exposed. In the “family friendly” version, Callahan’s T-shirt was not see-through. The latter version was used in the official trailer. (I noticed)

Around the time this movie was made, a full-motion Police Academy video game was also filmed with the original cast, for Hasbro’s NEMO console. According to developer Mark Turmell, the game was “essentially a lost Police Academy movie” which had multiple story paths that the player could choose. Unfortunately, the funding ceased when Hasbro decided not to proceed with the console. Some believe this unused footage could still potentially be made into a Police Academy interactive movie for a streaming service, if fan demand proved enough to convince Hasbro and Warner Bros. to complete the project, over three decades later. This would set a record for the longest time ever, in between a video game project’s conception and completion.

After it became clear that Jerry Paris would not be able to direct the film, screenwriter Gene Quintano was offered the chance to take over as director. He turned the offer down, not feeling confident enough in his abilities, and so Jim Drake directed it instead. On the day of the film’s premiere, Quintano told Paul Maslansky that he regretted turning down the director’s chair, and so Maslansky offered him the job of writing and directing Honeymoon Academy (1989), which this time Quintano accepted immediately.

The scene where Copeland chases Arnie and Kyle through the shopping mall was filmed at Woodbine Centre in Toronto, which is also the shopping mall where the Komodo dragon chase scene in The Freshman (1990) was filmed.

The last time we see Mahoney, Nogata, Copeland, Sweetchuck and Zed, though Tim Kazurinsky (Sweetchuck) had a guest appearance on Police Academy: The Series (1997) as a janitor. (Oh wow, so the rest of the series I guess must be quite different)

Michael Winslow (Jones), David Graf (Tackleberry), and George Gaynes (Commandant Lassard) are the only actors who appeared in all seven “Police Academy” movies. Winslow even goes a step beyond this, as he also had a regular role on Police Academy: The Series (1997).

Awards – Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Original Song (Brian Wilson, Gary Usher, 1988)

A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child Preview

Jamie bursts through the door, running headlong into the giant box in the middle of their apartment. The corner connects directly with his testicles, which amuses Rachel and Patrick to no end. When Jamie is done writhing on the ground and cursing the obviously and unendingly useless box, he announces that he has gotten a toy for the big toy giveaway. “Tada,” he says as he reveals a Rich themed blanket and a Poe brand tea set. Apparently after the war toy submarine fiasco the Super Dope Toy company was looking for something a bit more lowkey and the blanket and tea set hit all the right notes. “The perfect combination,” Jamie explains, “Just like Rich & Poe are the perfect combination of bad guy stopping power.” Patrick holds up his hand in exasperation. While it wouldn’t exactly be the toy he would have chosen, it’ll have to do because he also has big news. The FMV VR Rich & Poe experience is done and he thinks it’s pretty great. No need to say more. Jamie quickly sends off the Rich & Poe Blanket & Tea set to WGRG, while Patrick sets the FMV release date for peak chart time. With their nerves on edge and 15 hours to kill before they see if their plan has worked, Jamie and Patrick contemplate what to do until then. “Should we watch Here on Earth?” Patrick suggests, breaking out their well-worn 4K copy with extra bonus features. But Jamie shakes his head. The white-hot tragic love story is a bit too intense for the moment. What they really need is some sleep. Suddenly it hits him like a ton of bricks. Duh, let’s take this blanket and tea set for a test drive and snooze away the time. Hopefully they don’t have any bad dreams. That’s right! We are transitioning out of the video games/song cycle and right into one of our favorites: franchises! We are going to hit up some beautiful sequels, please, and start it off hot with the two Nightmare on Elm entries that qualified for BMT (before the reboots started). Those are A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Dream Child and Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare, which were five and six in the series. I really liked the first one, so I was excited to watch the whole original series. Let’s go!

A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Dream Child (1989) – BMeTric: 57.4; Notability: 55

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 2.0%; Notability: top 6.4%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 26.8% Higher BMeT: Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan, Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers, Cyborg; Higher Notability: Troop Beverly Hills, Road House, Star Trek V: The Final Frontier; Lower RT: Wired, Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan, DeepStar Six, No Holds Barred, She’s Out of Control, Millennium, Winter People, Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers, The Karate Kid Part III, The Salute of the Jugger, Chattahoochee, Nightmare Vacation 3, The Lemon Sisters, Three Fugitives, Cookie, Her Alibi, Cyborg, Rude Awakening, Renegades, Harlem Nights and 18 more; Notes: Man what a year for bad horror sequels! I’m always astounded by how much people on IMDb hate bad horror films.

Leonard Maltin – 1.5 stars –  Fifth in the Nightmare series, with everyone except Englund just going through the paces. Here, scarred, dream-haunting Freddy Krueger (Englund) uses the unborn child of Wilcox to strike at her friends. As usual, special effects are a highlight but don’t save the film from being a bore. Followed by Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare.

(I’m pretty intrigued by the idea that the special effects are a highlight. It seems like this series in particular tends to have some pretty good special effects. I’m a bit surprised that Maltin, who seems to hate horror films, doesn’t mention how weirdly vulgar Kreuger is in the later sequels.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LFm_jiI8RiA 

(The reveal of the subtitle, The Dream Child, almost seems like a joke. Pair that with the Beetlejuice-esque sets and “It’s a Boooooooooy” at the end and I kind of hate this trailer. I think it might have been different at the time, but knowing it is a bad movie makes the trailer seem merely a confirmation of that fact.)

Directors – Stephen Hopkins – (Known For: The Ghost and the Darkness; Race; Under Suspicion; The Life and Death of Peter Sellers; Tube Tales; Dangerous Game; Future BMT: The Reaping; Blown Away; Judgment Night; BMT: Lost in Space; A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Dream Child; Predator 2; Notes: Won an Emmy for The Life and Death of Peter Sellers, and also was lead director on the first season of 24. Was storyboarding commercials when he was 15 in Australia, originally born in Jamaica and raised in England.)

Writers – Wes Craven (characters) – (Known For: A Nightmare on Elm Street; The Hills Have Eyes; The Last House on the Left; Freddy vs. Jason; Wes Craven’s New Nightmare; The People Under the Stairs; A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors; A Nightmare on Elm Street Part 2: Freddy’s Revenge; The Last House on the Left; The Hills Have Eyes; Deadly Blessing; Paris, je t’aime; A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master; Swamp Thing; The Hills Have Eyes Part II; Future BMT: Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare; Pulse; The Hills Have Eyes II; My Soul to Take; A Nightmare on Elm Street; Shocker; BMT: A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Dream Child; Notes: Well known for his genre defying horror films, including twice creating what could be construed as send-ups (and meta versions) of the Nightmare franchise in both New Nightmare and Scream. A quintessential voice in horror throughout the 70s, 80s, and 90s.)

John Skipp (story) – (Known For: Class of 1999; Tales of Halloween; BMT: A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Dream Child; Notes: A musician with a band called Arcade. Him and Spector wrote several bestselling novels as well.)

Craig Spector (story) – (BMT: A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Dream Child; Notes: Also a musician and writing partner with Skipp, they were a part of the “splatterpunk” horror fiction movement of the 80’s.)

Leslie Bohem (story & screenplay) – (Known For: Tracers; House III: The Horror Show; Twenty Bucks; Kid; Future BMT: Nowhere to Run; Dante’s Peak; The Alamo; BMT: The Darkest Hour; A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Dream Child; Daylight; Notes: Also a musician with the Gleaming Spires in the 80s! She won an Emmy for the miniseries Taken.)

Actors – Robert Englund – (Known For: A Nightmare on Elm Street; Freddy vs. Jason; A Star Is Born; Hatchet; Wes Craven’s New Nightmare; Galaxy of Terror; A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors; A Nightmare on Elm Street Part 2: Freddy’s Revenge; A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master; Dead and Buried; Strippers vs Werewolves; Stay Hungry; Zombie Strippers!; Death Trap; Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon; Big Wednesday; 2001 Maniacs; The Midnight Man; Red; Strangeland; Future BMT: Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare; The Mangler; Meet the Deedles; Wishmaster; The Phantom of the Opera; The Adventures of Ford Fairlane; BMT: A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Dream Child; Urban Legend; Notes: Apparently he wrote a version of the third film that they didn’t use. He is going to be in a few episodes of the upcoming fourth season of Stranger Things.)

Lisa Wilcox – (Known For: A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master; Gimme an ‘F’; Men Seeking Women; Watchers Reborn; Clinger; The Church; BMT: A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Dream Child; Notes: Was mostly out of acting in the 2000s and running a costume jewelry company “Toe Brights” which she founded. She’s has a few small horror films in the works.)

Kelly Jo Minter – (Known For: The Lost Boys; Mask; House Party; The People Under the Stairs; New Jack City; Summer School; Doc Hollywood; The Principal; Miracle Mile; Cat Chaser; Sunset Grill; Future BMT: The Rich Man’s Wife; Out for Justice; Popcorn; BMT: A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Dream Child; Notes: Has three children and currently is designing handbags under the label KJO Los Angeles.)

Budget/Gross – $8 million / Domestic: $22,168,359 (Worldwide: $22,168,359)

(That’s pretty good. I really don’t understand how they make these films for so little! $8 million and you are paying for a returning actress from the fourth and Englund and special effects? That is pretty impressive.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 29% (9/31): A Nightmare on Elm Street feels exhausted by this cheesy fifth entry, bogged down by a convoluted mythology while showing none of the chilling technique that kicked off the franchise.

(Man. If they think the mythology in Nightmare on Elm Street is convoluted they better not Halloween and the Cult of Thorn. Reviewer Highlight: Fifth edition of the hit Nightmare series is a poorly constructed special effects showcase. – Variety Staff)

Poster – Nightmare on Sklog Street 5: Dream Baby

(Wild, Just wild. Nightmare on Elm really got away with crazy posters and visuals throughout the series, becoming more and more late 80’s/early 90’s as it went along. This is the peak though. The poster is bonkers. It’s nuts that this hung in theaters and stuff next to a poster for, like, Uncle Buck or something. I’m gonna give it a B+ just for the chutzpah.)

Tagline(s) – Freddy delivers. (A-)

(They really missed a chance at using “You snooze, you lose” as a tagline for one of the films. This probably wouldn’t have been it. Probably the second one. Anyway, this is kind of a fun one so I appreciate it. Short, sweet, and clever. It’s good, if silly for a horror film.)

Keyword – nightmare

Top 10: The Passion of the Christ (2004), Midsommar (2019), Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016), Wonder Woman (2017), Watchmen (2009), Interstellar (2014), Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (2005), Captain Marvel (2019), Get Out (2017), Stardust (2007)

Future BMT: 92.7 Date Movie (2006), 87.9 BloodRayne (2005), 82.8 Prom Night (2008), 76.5 Junior (1994), 71.8 Bewitched (2005), 70.0 The Unborn (2009), 67.0 Halloween II (2009), 65.6 Pulse (2006), 61.0 Cursed (2005), 61.0 Legion (2010);

BMT: 2012 (2009), Mortal Kombat: Annihilation (1997), Fifty Shades Freed (2018), Event Horizon (1997), Fifty Shades Darker (2017), Fantasy Island (2020), Independence Day: Resurgence (2016), The Nun (2018), Rambo (2008), Vampire Academy (2014), Slender Man (2018), Replicas (2018), Flatliners (2017), The Bye Bye Man (2017), Nothing But Trouble (1991), Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot (1992), Red Riding Hood (2011), The Rite (2011), Perfect Stranger (2007), Rings (2017), Dracula 2001 (2000), The Number 23 (2007), New York Minute (2004), Silent Hill: Revelation (2012), The Lawnmower Man (1992), Ghosts of Girlfriends Past (2009), I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (1998), The Ring 2 (2005)

(What a bizarre keyword. Passion of the Christ? Was there a nightmare in that? Was there a nightmare in all of the MCU and DCU films? I guess we got over nightmares in the mid-2000s.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 18) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Robert Englund is No. 1 billed in A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Dream Child and No. 10 billed in Urban Legend, which also stars Alicia Witt (No. 1 billed) who is in 88 Minutes (No. 2 billed), which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => 1 + 10 + 1 + 2 + 3 + 1 = 18. If we were to watch The Phantom of the Opera, and The Black Dahlia we can get the HoE Number down to 17.

Notes – According to director Stephen Hopkins, they “got lots of tarantulas, hand-painted them green and red, and on the floor of the stage placed a little wall up in the shape of an arm and had trainers come in and around the tarantulas.” The plan was to simply drop the wall and film the resulting scattering of the spiders. However, after they got the shot they were left with a studio full of around 200 angry tarantulas. Hopkins figures, “We probably carried on shooting on another set, I’m sure. I don’t think anyone ever found them again.” (That’s ecologically irresponsible)

The graduation sequence was cut down significantly to speed up the pacing of the film.

Stephen Hopkins was given just four weeks to shoot and a further four weeks to edit the film. This meant that he had to shoot on one stage while the crew dressed the other, so they could shoot almost continually. After he made it, the studio was so impressed, that he was given the task of directing Predator 2 (1990).

When Alice wakes up from her nightmare in the asylum, and one of the deranged Westin Hills patients, who’s portrayed by Robert Englund, appears beside her in bed and pins her down, originally he said, “There’s no such thing as safe sex.” The line was excised from the film.

Stephen King and comic book writer Frank Miller were offered the job of writing and directing this movie. (A Stephen King directed Nightmare film would have been wild)

Executive producer Sara Risher’s original pitch to New Line Cinema for A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987) was for Freddy to have a baby. Risher states, “I went in, one of the executives was pregnant at the time, and I said, ‘Picture Freddy clawing his way out of the womb.’ No one liked my idea. So then I got a call for Nightmare 5, and when they came to me they said, ‘Remember when you wanted Freddy to have a baby? Well, we like that idea now. What if Alice was the mom?'”

There was a nude body double that stood in for Lisa Wilcox during the scene where Alice’s dream morphs into a nightmare.

The film was the lowest-grossing film of the franchise.

Virtually nothing of the screenplay by John Skipp and Craig Spector made it into the film (according to Skipp, only the phrase “It’s a boy” was retained), while only around half of Leslie Bohem’s screenplay was kept. William Wisher and David J. Schow did further re-writes, and the final screenplay was put together just a few days before shooting by Michael De Luca.

The end credits song, “Let’s Go” by Kool Moe Dee was actually a diss track to LL Cool J. The two rappers were feuding at the time this film was being made.

The only ‘Nightmare on Elm Street” Film not to have any direct involvement from Rachel Talalay who had worked on Elm Streets 1 to 4 in various crew roles, though she is thanked in the end credits and miss it if you blink call out on the Doctors door in the Baby clinic to a DR Tala (obscured). Rachel Talalay would be reunited with Freddy Krueger in ‘Freddy’s Dead’ (1991) as Director.

Alice is the only person who has fought Freddy Krueger twice and survived. And she is one of only a handful of characters in the three major slasher franchises to survive their killer more than once. Halloween’s Dr. Loomis, Laurie Strode, Nurse Marion Chambers, Jamie Lloyd, Sheriff Brackett, and Tommy Doyle. And Tommy Jarvis of the Friday films.

Awards – Winner for the Razzie Award for Worst Original Song (Bruce Dickinson, 1990)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Original Song (Kool Moe Dee, 1990)

Xanadu Preview

Jamie completes a perfect jetski backflip, narrowly avoiding the torpedoes shot by the toy-sized submarine. Suddenly the engine of the jetski begins to sputter and Jamie knows that drastic times calls for drastic measures. He takes a tiny hammer and breaks the emergency glass on the jetski’s Mello Yello store. Breaking out the well known catchphrase, “Time to say hello to Mello Yello, fellow,” Jamie pours the contents into the gas tank. What Jamie loves about speed is controlling it, you know? But while the Dew is doable, Mello Yello is an uncontrollable beast and soon he’s swerving wildly about the unexpectedly large pool housed within the toy factory. He careens off the submarine’s sail, puncturing and ultimately sinking the drone, but that doesn’t solve all of Jamie’s problems. He’s still on a Mello Yello powered death machine and it’s heading right for the wall of the tank. Gulp. He throws up his hands to shield his face from irreparably sexy scars and bursts through the wall into a stuffy board meeting of the toy company’s executives. The head of the company shifts nervously as sweat beads on his forehead. No one was meant to know about his submarine antics and yet here it is on full display. Thinking fast, Jamie puts an arm around the CEOs shoulder and loudly exclaims, “and that’s what this noble man thinks of war toys! Instead he’s going to be teaming up with the latest Rich & Poe release to show how this company is all about justice and friendship, just like Rich & Poe, who will continue to be very much alive.” The room breaks out in applause as the executive wipes sweat from his brow and whispers, “Welcome to the Super Dope Toys family…. Or as we call it: Xanadu.” That’s right! We are going full 80’s magic for real with the Olivia Newton-John masterpiece Xanadu. And by masterpiece I mean that it was partially responsible for the creation of the Razzies and also legit had one of the biggest soundtracks of that year. Let’s go!

The mastermind of the deaths of Rich and Poe stares daggers at the Bad Movie Twins cyborgs from the shadows. “You pumpkinheads, they are getting too close. The buzz around this FMV music video game is growing. Something must be done…” And with that he lets out a terrifying cackle. That’s right! We’re teaming up Xanadu with Pumpkinhead II: Blood Wings. Why? Because we can and also it’s one of the few direct-to-video films we found that had a video game release, which seems insane. That being said, the original Pumpkinhead is great. Let’s go!

Xanadu (1980) – BMeTric: 44.2; Notability: 66

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 6.5%; Notability: top 2.3%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 17.2% Higher BMeT: Smokey and the Bandit Ride Again; Lower RT: Can’t Stop the Music, The Blue Lagoon, Hardly Working, Roadie, Smokey and the Bandit Ride Again, The Hollywood Knights, Wholly Moses!, Galaxina, The Boogey Man, The Fiendish Plot of Dr. Fu Manchu, The Nude Bomb, Where the Buffalo Roam, Heart Beat, The Apple, He Knows You’re Alone; Notes: 1980 as a BMT film year is pretty sparse, almost non-existent. It is the last year that one could argue there isn’t particularly good box office data, and so on occasion we have to “cheat” to get the actual bad 1980 films into BMT. A notability of 66 though? That ain’t cheating brotha! That legitimately might be the biggest film of the year. How?!

RogerEbert.com – 2.0 stars – “Xanadu” is a mushy and limp musical fantasy, so insubstantial it keeps evaporating before our eyes. It’s one of those rare movies in which every scene seems to be the final scene; it’s all ends and no beginnings, right up to its actual end, which is a cheat.

(I don’t even really know what that means. I guess I should be prepared for it to end, like, seven times like Return of the King or something? And how does that review snippet equal two stars? Ebert in the 80s was a complex critical animal.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sT0wRGBhNwE/

(What is the deal with roller skating in musicals in 1980 specifically. Steve Guttenberg was also roller skating all over the place in Can’t Stop the Music. A very matter of fact trailer. You like Olivia Newton-John right? Awesome, you’ll like this film with roller skating. She sings in it.)

Directors – Robert Greenwald – (Known For: Breaking Up; Steal This Movie; Sweet Hearts Dance; Future BMT: Hear No Evil; BMT: Xanadu; Razzie Notes: Winner for Worst Director for Xanadu in 1981; Notes: Nominated for three Emmys most recently for the mini-series A Woman of Independent Means. Was a huge television movie director in the 80s and 90s and then founded Brave New Films in 2001 and has been a huge documentarian since.)

Writers – Richard Christian Danus (written by) – (BMT: Xanadu; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Screenplay for Xanadu in 1981; Notes: Wrote a bit for television including two episode of Crime Story which was produced by Michael Mann.)

Marc Reid Rubel (written by) – (Known For: Big Business; Almost Summer; BMT: Xanadu; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Screenplay for Xanadu in 1981; Notes: Also wrote Prince of Bel Air starring Mark Harmon. Not much about him, not even in the trades.)

Actors – Olivia Newton-John – (Known For: Grease; The Very Excellent Mr. Dundee; She’s Having a Baby; A Few Best Men; Sordid Lives; It’s My Party; Score: A Hockey Musical; Toomorrow; Funny Things Happen Down Under; Future BMT: Two of a Kind; BMT: Xanadu; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Actress in 1981 for Xanadu; and in 1984 for Two of a Kind; Notes: Had five songs go to #1 on the US Billboard charts. Her father was a medical doctor who invented a portable iron lung.)

Gene Kelly – (Known For: Singin’ in the Rain; An American in Paris; Anchors Aweigh; Inherit the Wind; Cover Girl; Brigadoon; On the Town; Take Me Out to the Ball Game; What a Way to Go!; The Pirate; Les Demoiselles de Rochefort; A Guide for the Married Man; The Three Musketeers; Let’s Make Love; 40 Carats; Ziegfeld Follies; Du Barry Was a Lady; Marjorie Morningstar; Summer Stock; BMT: Xanadu; Notes: His last on screen film role. He was nominated for one Academy Award (for Anchors Aweigh) and received an honorary Oscar in 1952.)

Michael Beck – (Known For: The Warriors; Blackout; The Hard Ride; Warlords of the 21st Century; Forest Warrior; Triumphs of a Man Called Horse; The Golden Seal; Future BMT: Megaforce; BMT: Xanadu; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Actor for Xanadu in 1981; and Nominee for Worst Supporting Actor for Megaforce in 1983; Notes: Grew up in Arkansas and went to school in Mississippi. The funniest note on his IMDb I think is that he was the voice for the book-on-tape version of Runaway Jury by John Grisham.)

Budget/Gross – $20 million / Domestic: $22,762,571 (Worldwide: $22,762,571)

(Yeah, a financial disaster. In its defense, according to the notes, it was supposed to cost $5 million, but then they overran. If they had come in on budget it would have probably been fine.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 29% (12/42): Not even spandex and over-the-top musical numbers can save Xanadu from questionable acting, unimpressive effects, and a story unencumbered by logic.

(I’m just here for the music, man. I’m not looking for nonsense like “logic” and “acting”. Reviewer Highlight: An experience so vacuous it’s almost frightening. – Ian Birch, Time Out.)

Poster – Xana-Don’t!!

(Uh… I don’t really know what to think about this. I guess I like that it’s kind of like a painting and the font is obviously one of the best of all time. But it’s not eye catching other than in a ‘WTF is that?’ kind of way and the white background is a mistake. Seems more like a joke than a real poster, but it’s not all that bad. C+.)

Tagline(s) – A Fantasy, A Musical, A Place Where Dreams Come True. (C-)

(While the poster is a bit mysterious and odd, this is just a bad tagline. They try to go for the rule of 3, but I don’t think they go together and then they end up with something far too long.)

Keyword – disco

Top 10: The Wolf of Wall Street (2013), Ready Player One (2018), Fatal Attraction (1987), Scarface (1983), Boogie Nights (1997), EuroTrip (2004), American Hustle (2013), Dark Shadows (2012), Ted (2012), Carlito’s Way (1993)

Future BMT: 70.0 The Unborn (2009), 64.9 In the Mix (2005), 63.7 Boat Trip (2002), 59.8 Staying Alive (1983), 51.7 You Don’t Mess with the Zohan (2008), 42.0 Virtuosity (1995), 41.3 The Kitchen (2019), 33.9 Shark Tale (2004), 33.6 Along Came Polly (2004), 33.3 54 (1998);

BMT: Ghosts of Girlfriends Past (2009), Romeo Must Die (2000), Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989), Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li (2009)

(The 90s really didn’t like disco very much huh? Well, we have probably the last true blue BMT disco film left after this in Staying Alive in 1983. So that’s something to look forward to.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 25) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Sandahl Bergman is No. 9 billed in Xanadu and No. 3 billed in Red Sonja, which also stars Arnold Schwarzenegger (No. 1 billed) who is in Expendables 3 (No. 4 billed), which also stars Jason Statham (No. 2 billed) who is in In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Seige Tale (No. 1 billed), which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 4 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => 9 + 3 + 1 + 4 + 2 + 1 + 4 + 1 = 25. If we were to watch Two of a Kind, and Shout we can get the HoE Number down to 13.

Notes – After Kira tells Sonny she is one of the Greek muses, she starts to say, “My real name is Terp” but Sonny shushes her and she never reveals her real name. She is there to help him open a dance club, and she is obviously a dancer, so her name is most likely Terpsichore, after the Greek muse of dance–although in the stage adaption of the film she was Clio, muse of history.

According to Olivia Newton-John, the script was written during filming.

The soundtrack was an enormous success. The song “Magic” went to #1 on the US pop singles chart. In the UK the soundtrack album peaked at #2, and the single “Xanadu” was #1 for two weeks in July 1980.

The Pan Pacific Auditorium, on Beverly Boulevard in Hollywood near CBS’ Television City, was used for exterior shots of the Xanadu Club. It was built in 1935 and destroyed by a fire in 1989. A community center now sits on the site, featuring a single version of the Pan Pacific’s four curved art-deco spires.

Olympic skater Peggy Fleming helped plan the skating scenes.

The choreography in the Gene Kelly-choreographed “Whenever You’re Away From Me” is nearly identical to the choreography in the title number from For Me and My Girl (1942), in which starred Kelly with Judy Garland.

Gene Kelly and Olivia Newton-John’s dance number was shot after filming had finished. Kelly choreographed it. His conditions included a closed stage with only himself, Newton-John, a cameraman, a choreographer he had befriended and two others.

Gene Kelly took the part of Danny McGuire because filming was a short drive from his Beverly Hills home.

Olivia Newton-John met Matt Lattanzi, who had a minor role, during filming. Afterward Lattanzi accompanied her to Australia on a promotional visit for the film and met her parents. Lattanzi and John married in 1984, had one child, Chloe Lattanzi, and divorced in 1995.

Famously received the one sentence review: “In a word, Xana-don’t”. (I thought I had invented that!!!)

This film, playing as a 99-cent double-feature with Can’t Stop the Music (1980), inspired John Wilson to create the Golden Raspberry Awards (a.k.a. Razzies), honoring the worst achievements in film. Robert Greenwald later won the first Worst Director Razzie Award.

The film was adapted into a Broadway musical, which caused a lot of controversy due to the poor reception of the film. However, the musical was actually a satire of the film, and was therefore praised for its humor. It opened in 2007, starring Kerry Butler as Kira and Cheyenne Jackson as Sonny. The show ran for over 500 performances and was nominated for the Best Musical and Best Book Tony’s.

According to the two-page booklet included with the DVD, the film was originally conceived as a low-budget roller-disco movie. The imminent release of Skatetown, U.S.A. (1979) and Roller Boogie (1979) prompted many changes, like blending 1940s and 1980s styles.

The original budget was $4 million, but costs rose to $13 million. Universal head Ned Tanen fired Joel Silver, who immediately went to work for his friend and mentor Lawrence Gordon, who was also a producer on the film, and put Silver back on the project.

This film is one of three disco musicals released in 1980. The others were The Apple (1980) and Can’t Stop the Music (1980). (We’ll have watched two of three then!)

Despite the film’s poor reputation, the soundtrack peaked at #4 on the US Billboard Charts and it was awarded double platinum.

Awards – Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst ‘Musical’ of Our First 25 Years (2005)

Winner for the Razzie Award for Worst Director (Robert Greenwald, 1981)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Picture (Lawrence Gordon, 1981)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Actor (Michael Beck, 1981)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Actress (Olivia Newton-John, 1981)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Screenplay (Richard Christian Danus, Marc Reid Rubel, 1981)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Original Song (John Farrar, 1981)