Tag: writing team

Poltergeist II: The Other Side Preview

Jamie and Patrick are playing with their favorite toy dinosaurs. They’re mother stops by and pats them lovingly on the head. They’re father stoops down and spends some moments joining in on the imaginary fun. Jamie strains to see his father’s face but it’s clouded by an image of Scott Bakula. But the joy of this dino adventure is enough and they continue to play together: Patrick, Jamie, and their imposter dad Scott Bakula. There is a knock at the door and there are two men in suits there. They are talking to Scott Bakula. They are pointing at a sheet of paper that says that all their measurables are off the charts. General Knowledge: 100th percentile. Gymnastics: 100th percentile. Martial Arts: 100th percentile. Dance: 100th percentile. Philosophy: 100th percentile. The list goes on and on. They frown at the list. Dinosaurs: 100th percentile is nowhere to be found. Not a list they care about. The men tell them they are going away, going to have everything because of this list. They cry. They hit these men with their dinosaur toys and try to run away.

Jamie shakes his head at the memory and jerks his arm away from Patrick and grabs one of the toy cars. “Michael!” he calls and the groundskeeper turns. “Why are these toys here? Whose toys are these?” he asks, his voice shaking with intensity. Michael chuckles a little. “Ah, so that’s what you’re sniffing around about. You’ve heard the stories,” he says but starts a little when he realizes they don’t know what he’s talking about. “You’re saying you’ve never heard the story of how this place is haunted?” Patrick and Jamie look at each other and shakily murmur, “A gh-gh-gh-ghost?” Michael nods. “Not just one ghost,” he continues, “Two.” That’s right! We’re watching not just one ghost film, but two. And they’re some big ones. We are tackling the two very poorly received sequels to Poltergeist, Poltergeist II: The Other Side and Poltergeist III… no subtitle for three, guys? That’s a shame. How about Poltergeist III: Tower of Terror? Let’s go!

Poltergeist II: The Other Side (1986) – BMeTric: 42.3; Notability: 64

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 2.8%; Notability: top 1.2%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 10.7%; Higher BMeT: Howard the Duck, Troll, King Kong Lives, Maximum Overdrive, Raw Deal, Solarbabies, Poltergeist II: The Other Side; Higher Notability: Jumpin’ Jack Flash, Howard the Duck, The Golden Child; Lower RT: Solarbabies, 8 Million Ways to Die, King Kong Lives, Band of the Hand, American Anthem, Sorority House Massacre, Deadtime Stories, Nobody’s Fool, Firewalker, The Clan of the Cave Bear, Armed and Dangerous, TerrorVision, Dangerously Close, Club Paradise, Quicksilver, Soul Man, Howard the Duck, Tai-Pan, Maximum Overdrive, The Delta Force, and 4 more; Notes: The Notability is shockingly high on this one, but the cast is kind of stacked too, so I guess it makes sense. Jumpin’ Jack Flash has been on my radar forever. The old Whoopi films from the 80s are something else.

Leonard Maltin – 2.5 stars –  The Freeling family is terrorized again by otherworld creatures. Another pointless sequel made palatable by some jolting state-of-the-art special effects and a still-very-likable family. Be warned that an actor receives billing as The Vomit Creature.

(This does seem, potentially, to be a series that would be mostly a display for impressive special effects and not much else. It is pointless though, the first film was wrapped up in a neat bow.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mjhr8EdGyD0/

(Oh snap, first shot, the big baddy … Kane? Wait, was this guy in the first film? No? What is happening!? That being said, pretty solid teaser trailer all said.)

Directors – Brian Gibson – ( Known For: What’s Love Got to Do with It; The Juror; Still Crazy; Breaking Glass; BMT: Poltergeist II: The Other Side; Notes: Worked for the BBC initially, then it appears he did a bunch of music videos. This followed right after a series of music videos by Styx. Won and Emmy for The Josephine Baker Story.)

Writers – Mark Victor and Michael Grais – ( Known For: Poltergeist; Death Hunt; Future BMT: Marked for Death; BMT: Cool World; Poltergeist II: The Other Side; Notes: Kind of odd they didn’t seem to get a credit for Poltergeist III. They wrote a trilogy of UFO TV Movies in 1991.)

Actors – JoBeth Williams – ( Known For: Poltergeist; The Big Chill; Kramer vs. Kramer; Stir Crazy; The Big Year; Fever Pitch; In the Land of Women; The Dogs of War; Teachers; Timer; Alex & The List; Desert Bloom; Memories of Me; Endangered Species; SGT. Will Gardner; The Last Film Festival; Barracuda; Me Myself and I; Welcome Home; Just Write; Future BMT: Wyatt Earp; Switch; American Dreamer; BMT: Jungle 2 Jungle; Poltergeist II: The Other Side; Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot; Dutch; Notes: Her husband was the director of Miss Congeniality 2 among other BMT films. She was nominated for an Oscar for On Hope, a short film.)

Craig T. Nelson – ( Known For: The Devil’s Advocate; The Incredibles; The Proposal; Incredibles 2; Poltergeist; Blades of Glory; The Killing Fields; Book Club; Wag the Dog; Soul Surfer; Gold; All the Right Moves; Stir Crazy; The Osterman Weekend; Silkwood; The Company Men; Private Benjamin; Turner & Hooch; The Family Stone; And Justice for All; Future BMT: Troop Beverly Hills; Get Hard; Action Jackson; BMT: Poltergeist II: The Other Side; The Skulls; Notes: It’s Coach! Races cars. Was nominated three times for Coach, and won once.)

Heather O’Rourke – ( Known For: Poltergeist; BMT: Poltergeist II: The Other Side; Poltergeist III; Notes: Sadly died during post-production of Poltergeist III from complications related to Crohn’s Disease.)

Budget/Gross – $19 million / Domestic: $40,996,665 (Worldwide: $40,996,665)

(That’s good enough. Horror films just print money as usual. So no wonder they went straight for the third. I do wonder if you could get a direct sequel off the ground, recasting O’Rourke’s character as an adult.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 20% (11/55): They’re back, but this hollow sequel retains none of the charm or suspense that made the original Poltergeist such a haunting specter.

(Yeah, that makes sense. But when does any sequel? I guess something like The Conjuring at the very least kept the same entertaining level of zaniness during its sequels. So it is possible.)

NY Times Short Review: Plot trouble.

Poster – Ghosty Spooktacular II: The Other Sklog

(Ha, what? This poster is crazy. Did they finish it? I’m going to give them an Incomplete.)

Tagline(s) – They’re back. (B)

(I can’t actually give this a particularly good grade, but I also can’t blame them for putting away the easy lay-up. Just solid fundamentals here.)

Keyword(s) – Citizen Kane

Top 10: The Silence of the Lambs (1991), Star Wars: Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back (1980), Goodfellas (1990), Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991), Star Wars: Episode VI – Return of the Jedi (1983), The Terminator (1984), Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989), Full Metal Jacket (1987), Aliens (1986), Groundhog Day (1993)

Future BMT: 75.0 Look Who’s Talking Now (1993), 71.9 Teen Wolf Too (1987), 61.0 Pet Sematary II (1992), 59.6 Suburban Commando (1991), 58.5 Rocky V (1990), 56.4 The Karate Kid Part III (1989), 55.6 Ringmaster (1998), 54.2 Who’s That Girl (1987), 53.2 Made in America (1993), 52.4 Blank Check (1994), 51.5 The Pest (1997), 50.5 Getting Even with Dad (1994), 50.0 Smokey and the Bandit II (1980), 49.9 3 Ninjas (1992), 49.1 My Girl 2 (1994), 48.3 My Stepmother Is an Alien (1988), 47.9 Three Men and a Little Lady (1990), 46.7 House Party 3 (1994), 46.4 Zapped! (1982), 45.8 Sidekicks (1992)

BMT: Batman & Robin (1997), Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987), Troll 2 (1990), Super Mario Bros. (1993), RoboCop 3 (1993), Grease 2 (1982), Caddyshack II (1988), Bio-Dome (1996), Mac and Me (1988), Anaconda (1997), Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace (1996), Double Team (1997), Fair Game (1995), Leprechaun (1993), Body of Evidence (1992), A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Dream Child (1989), Cool World (1992), Poltergeist III (1988), Wild Orchid (1989), Sliver (1993), Chairman of the Board (1997), Red Sonja (1985), Nothing But Trouble (1991), Ishtar (1987), Toys (1992), Weekend at Bernie’s II (1993), Shanghai Surprise (1986), Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood (1988), Exit to Eden (1994), Fire Down Below (1997), Color of Night (1994), Graveyard Shift (1990), No Holds Barred (1989), The Lawnmower Man (1992), Arthur 2: On the Rocks (1988), Maximum Overdrive (1986), Fire Birds (1990), Cocoon: The Return (1988), Jingle All the Way (1996), Raw Deal (1986), Poltergeist II: The Other Side (1986), Crocodile Dundee II (1988), Hudson Hawk (1991), Navy Seals (1990), Critters 2: The Main Course (1988), Hot to Trot (1988), Rambo III (1988), Terminal Velocity (1994), Meatballs Part II (1984), Cobra (1986), Ernest Goes to Jail (1990), Hard to Kill (1990), Conan the Destroyer (1984), The Golden Child (1986), Another 48 Hrs. (1990), Hard Rain (1998), Under the Cherry Moon (1986), Mannequin (1987), K-9 (1989), Days of Thunder (1990), Blame It on Rio (1984), No Mercy (1986), Senseless (1998), The Wizard (1989), The Marrying Man (1991), Sleeping with the Enemy (1991), The Cannonball Run (1981), Stone Cold (1991), Tango & Cash (1989), Lock Up (1989), The Good Son (1993), 1492: Conquest of Paradise (1992), Dangerous Minds (1995), Young Guns II (1990), Event Horizon (1997), Dutch (1991), Police Academy (1984), Road House (1989)

Best Options (Horror): 64.2 Poltergeist III (1988), 61.0 Pet Sematary II (1992), 44.3 DeepStar Six (1989), 42.3 Poltergeist II: The Other Side (1986), 34.6 Leviathan (1989), 32.2 The Seventh Sign (1988), 31.3 Student Bodies (1981), 28.1 Deep Rising (1998), 27.4 The Phantom of the Opera (1989), 26.1 The Bride (1985), 25.0 Bad Dreams (1988)

(Yeah we hit up a good one here. There was an off-the-board alternative, specifically we could have hit up the second and third Amityville and gone down that freight path of six non-qualifying direct-to-video sequels. We chose not to.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 14) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: JoBeth Williams is No. 2 billed in Poltergeist II: The Other Side and No. 3 billed in Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot, which also stars Sylvester Stallone (No. 1 billed) who is in The Expendables 3 (No. 1 billed) which also stars Jason Statham (No. 2 billed) who is in In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (No. 1 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (2 + 3) + (1 + 1) + (2 + 1) + (3 + 1) = 14. If we were to watch The Glass House we can get the HoE Number down to 13.

Notes – The only family member absent from the film is Dana, who according to the script is off at university, but a scene explaining away her absence was never filmed. Dominique Dunne was murdered by her boyfriend John Thomas Sweeney (who later changed his name to John Maura and disappeared) shortly after “Poltergeist (1982)” premiered. Ultimately, no mention is made of Dana in the final film, or of her being in college. It was decided by the filmmakers to retire the character and not recast her out of respect for the deceased actress and her family.

The partially grown “Vomit Creature” was performed by stuntman Noble Craig, a triple-amputee who lost both legs, an arm, and an eye while serving in the Vietnam War.

Heather O’Rourke was so afraid of Julian Beck (Reverend Kane) the first time she saw him that she burst into tears.

Julian Beck’s gaunt appearance is the result of the stomach cancer that would claim his life.

The film had an original running time of 131 minutes before being edited down to 91 minutes. Some have surmised that MGM rushed production and ordered the cuts, e.g the final battle with Kane lasts all of two minutes. Zelda Rubinstein in particular was furious about this, as she felt her best scenes were removed from the final cut.

H.R. Giger provided the special effects designs. Giger created several designs but only two made it into the film, albeit briefly. Some books on his art report that Giger was “very unhappy” with how his designs were translated to the film.

The exorcism was performed by Will Sampson, who was a real-life shaman for “several different groups” before his death in 1987. Studio security was instructed to leave the set unlocked and unguarded so Sampson could return in the middle of the night to perform the exorcism.

Several scenes that appeared in press stills and promotional posters were cut from the film, e.g. one in which Kane tries to get into the house a second time and confronts Tangina (this omission angered Rubinstein as she felt that was one of her best scenes); one in which Steve and Diane see a flying toaster during a breakfast scene, etc.

The film was at one point to have been filmed in 3D; several scenes such as the appearance of the Beast and the flying chainsaw were filmed to take advantage of the process. This idea was eventually abandoned after seeing the failures of other gimmicky 3D horror films of the decade, including Friday the 13th Part III (1982), Jaws 3-D (1983), and Amityville 3-D (1983), which was a previous flop from MGM.

Awards – Nominee for the Oscar for Best Effects, Visual Effects (Richard Edlund, John Bruno, Garry Waller, Bill Neil, 1987)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Supporting Actress (Zelda Rubinstein, 1987)

Advertisement

65 Preview

“We are not helping the Gutes,” Patrick says sternly, but even as he says it his eyes stray over to the map that Jamie is studying intently. They bandy theories back and forth as they walk. “Testarossa means red head in Italian,” Jamie notes and Patrick rolls his eyes. “We need to be thinking outside the box. We need to go…” Patrick stops, looking around bewildered. While distracted by the puzzle they have inadvertently walked to the harbor/aquatic fitness center. “No!” Patrick yells angrily, “No, we are not helping. We have to watch Citizen Kane. We have to stop getting into BMT style jams.” At this point he’s storming around and has lost his shirt. It’s classic Tantrum Twins and Jamie decides to join in (although he doesn’t mind some minor BMT hijinks if it’s to help the Gutes). When they are all tuckered out they are surprised to see they are no longer alone. Chests heaving and glistening with sweat they are able to gasp a quick hello. The man nods his head, “Hello, you boys sure got yourselves worked up. The name’s Michael, I’m the groundskeeper here. Are you two lost?” Patrick nods his head, while Jamie shakes his and Michael chuckles. “Well you might not be lost, but you’re obviously confused. Give me a holler when you figure out where you’re heading. I’ve been here forever, so I know everything about this place.” He turns to go, but before Jamie can ask him about Testarossa Patrick grabs Jamie by the arm and begins to drag him back to their room. As he does he steps right on a bunch of toy cars someone left on the ground. Patrick curses but Jamie suddenly has a thought, a memory of his own favorite toys… his dinosaurs. That’s right! It’s BMT Live! Movies are back, Jack, and so we better hop on the BMT train before it leaves the station, choo choo. Last week a big ol’ dino flick called 65 starring Adam Driver made it to theaters and juuuuust qualified. Nuff said. Let’s go!

65 (2023) – BMeTric: 33.9; Notability: 21

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 0.8%; Notability: top 0.8%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 13.6%; Higher BMeT: Your Place or Mine, House Party; Higher Notability: House Party, Your Place or Mine; Lower RT: Fear, House Party, The Old Way, Your Place or Mine, Maybe I Do, A Little White Lie; Notes: House Party is on the radar. Naturally, there isn’t much to say about this, except 33.9 BMeTric this early is pretty impressive.

RogerEbert.com – 1.5 stars – Beck and Woods offer some clever camerawork here and there, but also some erratic editing choices. And they borrow quite a bit from the “Jurassic Park” franchise: a giant footprint in the mud or a dinosaur’s yellow eye leering menacingly through a window. But maybe that’s inevitable at this point. Their film only gets truly enjoyably nutty toward the end, with its climactic combination of a sneaky quicksand patch, a ravenous Tyrannosaurus rex, a well-timed geyser eruption, and a catastrophic asteroid shower. But by then, it’s too late for us—and the planet.

(Not a bad point. But also I think the movie might be much worse if it was much crazier. If anything the small potatoes dinosaur version of Monsters (as an example) might have been the way to go.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M6YfhX83Cj8/

(No … wait … no. Humans didn’t discover Earth. He’s not human! WHAT? The trailer is wrong! THE TRAILER IS WRONG!)

Directors – Bryan Woods and Scott Beck – ( Known For: Haunt; Nightlight; The Bride Wore Blood; University Heights; BMT: 65; Notes: If I were to guess, based on their IMDb notes, they might have met in college or during the MTV college film writing competition. Hard to tell, but they both are noted to have been involved with that in 2005.)

Writers – Bryan Woods and Scott Beck – ( Known For: A Quiet Place; A Quiet Place Part II; Haunt; Nightlight; The Bride Wore Blood; University Heights; BMT: 65; Notes: This is where they actually get their cred from though. A Quiet Place and the sequel are legit huge movies and are notably smaller budget monster films. They got their shot. Didn’t make it.)

Actors – Adam Driver – ( Known For: This Is Where I Leave You; Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker; White Noise; The Last Duel; Star Wars: Episode VII – The Force Awakens; House of Gucci; Star Wars: Episode VIII – The Last Jedi; Marriage Story; Logan Lucky; The Dead Don’t Die; BlacKkKlansman; Silence; Lincoln; The Report; Inside Llewyn Davis; Paterson; What If; The Man Who Killed Don Quixote; Frances Ha; Annette; BMT: 65; Notes: Wow, his first true blue bad film. Too bad really. He’s an incredible actor. I would recommend Paterson. Notably was in the military prior to breaking out on the television show Girls.)

Ariana Greenblatt – ( Known For: Avengers: Infinity War; In the Heights; Love and Monsters; Awake; The Boss Baby: Family Business; Scoob!; The One and Only Ivan; Future BMT: A Bad Moms Christmas; BMT: 65; Notes: Ha, obviously besides being an up and coming young actress, she’s also the daughter of one of the Delancey brothers in Newsies.)

Chloe Coleman – ( Known For: Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves; Avatar: The Way of Water; Gunpowder Milkshake; Marry Me; My Spy; Timmy Failure: Mistakes Were Made; BMT: 65; Notes: He sister is apparently also an actress and was in Criminal Minds.)

Budget/Gross – $45 million / Domestic: $28,483,690 (Worldwide: $49,683,690)

(Yeah not good, although somehow this is also more money than I would have expected? I thought it legit made no money. At least the budget wasn’t giant. I heard that Driver’s salary alone was a huge part of that.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 35% (37/106): Sodden sci-fi that somehow finds a way to bungle Adam Driver fighting dinosaurs, 65 is closer to zero.

(I hate that last garbage quip for the record. But yeah, it is a bit amazing he even agreed to be in it.)

Reviewer Highlight: It’s not schlocky enough to be so-bad-it’s-good and nowhere near good enough to be taken even a tiny bit seriously. – David Fear, Rolling Stone

Poster – Bad Dad Dino Dad

(I kinda like it, but it’s very early 2000’s. I also wish it popped a little bit more in the colors. Comes off a little gray. B.)

Tagline(s) – 65 million years ago prehistoric earth had a visitor. (C)

(Too on the nose and too long. So I’m going to pass on this one. But I will say I can see how something like this could work. You walk past this and it’s kind of an elevator pitch for the concept… and maybe you like the idea of a future man battling dinosaurs.)

Keyword(s) – year 2023

Top 10: Pathaan (2023), Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania (2023), Knock at the Cabin (2023), You People (2023), John Wick: Chapter 4 (2023), Plane (2023), Cocaine Bear (2023), Mission Majnu (2023), Luther: The Fallen Sun (2023), Scream VI (2023)

Future BMT: 72.2 Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey (2023), 36.8 House Party (2023), 9.9 Fear (2023)

BMT: 65 (2023)

(Oh boy, the Winnie the Pooh film is actually supposed to be awful. Like not fun awful. Like well and truly just the worst thing you’ve ever seen.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number “N/A”) – There is no current way to connect this movie to Here on Earth via BMT. If we were to watch A Bad Moms Christmas we can get the HoE Number down to 34.

Notes – The warning sound made by the ship’s computer just after the crash was first used 70 years ago as the sound effect for the Martian walkers, in the 1953 Paramount production of “War of the Worlds.”

Filming in 2021 in Kisatchie National Forest, Louisiana.

As a Marine, this is the first in Adam Driver’s film career where he utilizes his weapons training from his old career.

Prior to its eventual theatrical release in March 2023 this film had been penciled in for a release date on five separate occasions only to have them postponed by distributor Sony Pictures.

The film only had one press screening before its worldwide release, on this occasion in New York city and that was less than 24 hours before its release.

“Koa” in the Hawaiian language means “Warrior”.

This is the third science fiction film by Sony/Columbia Pictures to open with a spaceship being damaged by asteroids, following After Earth (2013) and Passengers (2016).

The film was shot in 40 days, as compared to the Jurassic World movies which have over 100 days of filming.

The Fly II Preview

“I guess we’re having a little trouble with #4,” Jamie says, hoping to get some Good Movie insight from their new elderly friend. It seems right up his alley since it has to do with friendship: Rule #4 – Animal Friends/Animal Enemies. But the old man isn’t listening, he just keeps staring at a door at the back of the train that has a big money sign painted on it. “Why are you staring at the train’s treasure room?” Patrick asks, once again suspicious of this stereotypical old man. “Oh, I don’t know…” the old man starts before dramatically pulling off his disguise and drawing a gun on them. “Maybe because you’re gonna help me rob this train of its jewels,” he finishes. “He’s got a gun!” a nearby passenger screams. Panic ensues and the passengers flee, leaving the train car empty except for them. The young man explains how he saw them at the train station and knew it was his opportunity to use them to help him get away with his heist. He says something about forcing them to dance in order to distract the train police, but at that point Jamie and Patrick have stopped listening. They half-heartedly twin chop the gun out of his hand and backflip their way between him and the treasure room. “No, we’re not going to help you with this scheme. We’re not even going to get ourselves wrapped up in some complicated quest to stop you and your dastardly deeds. That was the old Movie Twins. The Bad Movie Twins. Now we’re the Good Movie Twins. In fact, we’re not just Good…” Patrick says and Jamie finishes, “We’re fly. And that’s exactly what you’re about to do.” At that they Twin Kick the faux geezer out of the moving train. That’s right! We are picking up a classic… and then we’ll watch that classic’s dumb sequel. It’s The Fly and The Fly II. The first one is a Cronenberg classic. The second is the one directed by the dude who did the creature effects for the first film… I’m not joking… that’s what happened because they probably thought, “whatever, this is just a cash grab anyway.” Let’s go!

The Fly II (1989) – BMeTric: 56.0; Notability: 33

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 3.2%; Notability: top 14.4%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 19.1%; Higher BMeT: Police Academy 6: City Under Siege, Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan, Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers, A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child, Wild Orchid, Cyborg, The Karate Kid Part III; Higher Notability: Tango & Cash, Troop Beverly Hills, Star Trek V: The Final Frontier, A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child, See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Fletch Lives, Harlem Nights, Leviathan, Listen to Me, Lock Up, Pink Cadillac, Family Business, Millennium, Police Academy 6: City Under Siege, Three Fugitives, Dead Bang, Let It Ride, Renegades, Slaves of New York, The Karate Kid Part III, and 16 more; Lower RT: Kinjite: Forbidden Subjects, Police Academy 6: City Under Siege, Stepfather II: Make Room for Daddy, The Toxic Avenger Part II, The Horror Show, Worth Winning, Night Game, Second Sight, Wired, Dream a Little Dream, No Holds Barred, Wild Orchid, She’s Out of Control, Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan, Millennium, Chattahoochee, Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers, Sleepaway Camp III: Teenage Wasteland, The Blood of Heroes, The Lemon Sisters, and 25 more; Notes: We are doing okay with 1989 now I think, just look at the Top BMeT list. This will be 7 of the top 8 watched for BMT, with only Karate Kid III outstanding there. I have a subtle goal which is to watch the top 10 BMeT films of every year from 1980 to now. I think the early 80s can be done if we loosen up the restrictions, but I already have ideas about that.

Leonard Maltin – BOMB –  A case of “like father, like son”; too bad director Walas isn’t like David Cronenberg. Stoltz, son of deceased Jeff Goldblum, has attained puberty at five with the intellect to match; now he’s being unknowingly exploited by – here’s a novel twist – the scientists in whose care he’s entrusted. Alternatively sull and messy but mostly dull.

(First, double semi-colon. Jesus Christ Leonard, you’d outdone even yourself. Second, like father like son? You talking like Big Momma and his (her?) son? I’m surprised “mostly dull” gets a BOMB. BOMBs are ultra rare.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-yS6E2EXlnI/

(Horrible horrible horrible. I hate it. Annoying and not scary or good. The last bit of the trailer does get you a bit amped and teases the puppet at least.)

Directors – Chris Walas – ( Known For: The Vagrant; BMT: The Fly II; Notes: The Vagrant looks absolutely wild. Anyways, he did the makeup for the original Fly (and was nominated for an Oscar for it). This seemed to be his one and only attempt at a truly major release, although he is a genuinely famous special effects artist working on Return of the Jedi, Enemy Mine, and Gremlins.)

Writers – Mick Garris – ( Known For: Hocus Pocus 2; *batteries not included; Nightmare Cinema; Riding the Bullet; Future BMT: Hocus Pocus; BMT: Critters 2; The Fly II; Notes: Very notably was a secretary at the Star Wars Corporation in 1977. He’s a pretty big name horror director from the 80s)

Jim Wheat and Ken Wheat– ( Known For: Pitch Black; A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master; The Silent Scream; After Midnight; The Return; Future BMT: The Chronicles of Riddick; BMT: The Fly II; Notes: Under the fold is the incredible revelation that they are the directors of Ewoks: The Battle for Endor. They are brothers and writing partners.)

Frank Darabont – ( Known For: The Shawshank Redemption; The Green Mile; The Mist; The Blob; Frankenstein; A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors; BMT: The Fly II; Notes: I feel like he’s mostly notable for the big issues he’s had with The Walking Dead and getting paid for that … but yeah, also he’s the director for Shawshank. I’m a little stunned all of these credits are for exclusively The Fly II with not credit for the original writers or anything?)

George Langelaan – (Known For: The Fly, Return of the Fly; Curse of the Fly, The Fly; BMT: The Fly II; Notes: They obviously had to credit him for the story and characters. But again, a little crazy that Cronenberg gets nothing on the sequel? It makes no sense.)

Actors – Eric Stoltz – ( Known For: Pulp Fiction; Back to the Future; Jerry Maguire; Fast Times at Ridgemont High; Little Women; Some Kind of Wonderful; Mask; Say Anything; The Prophecy; The Rules of Attraction; Singles; Kicking and Screaming; 2 Days in the Valley; Memphis Belle; Rob Roy; Her Smell; 5 to 7; The House of Mirth; The Wild Life; Killing Zoe; Future BMT: The Butterfly Effect; The Honeymooners; Fluke; Judy Moody and the Not Bummer Summer; BMT: Anaconda; The Fly II; Notes: Famously the original Marty McFly in Back to the Future (still uncredited there presumably because he’s still included in some wide shots?). Mostly does small things and television spots, but was also a star of the Battlestar Galactica spinoff Caprica it looks like.)

Daphne Zuniga – ( Known For: Spaceballs; Vision Quest; The Sure Thing; The Initiation; Modern Girls; The Dorm That Dripped Blood; Staying Together; Last Rites; Heartbeats; Gone Missing; Charlie’s Ghost Story; Mad at the Moon; Who’s Driving Doug; Enemies of Laughter; Summer Forever; Future BMT: Gross Anatomy; BMT: The Fly II; Notes: I obviously know her from Spaceballs. She’s continued to do a lot of stuff, mostly guest spots on television, but she was also on 40 episodes of One Tree Hill.)

Lee Richardson – ( Known For: Network; The Exorcist III; Prizzi’s Honor; Prince of the City; Brubaker; Q&A; Daniel; Middle of the Night; Tiger Warsaw; I Am the Cheese; Future BMT: The Believers; A Stranger Among Us; BMT: The Fly II; Notes: Uncredited as FDR in the Truman television movie. Was nominated for a Tony Award for Vivat! Vivat Rgina! In 1972. Died in 1999.)

Budget/Gross – N/A / Domestic: $20,021,322 (Worldwide: $38,903,179)

(That seems bad considering how much must have went into effects. A little odd that there is no info at all about how much this movie costs seemingly.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 29% (5/17)

(Oh a consensus: Often horribly graphic and … well just horrible, The Fly II exchanges the creepy for the just plain gross.)

Reviewer Highlight: Worthless sequel to a very good film – Ken Hanke, Mountain Xpress

Poster – The Fly II: Superfly

(Christ, they just knocked off the first film’s poster. Really was a cash grab. Although then again there is a rich history of just trotting out the same thing for a sequel. Back to the Future comes to mind. I like the tone, wish the font was a little better, and can’t give it much of a score since it is a knockoff. C.)

Tagline(s) – Like father, like son. (F)

(We talking Big Momma’s House 3? I sometimes wonder when we have a tagline this generic whether we could build a trilogy of films with the exact same tagline.)

Keyword(s) – good

Top 10: Good Will Hunting (1997), The Hunger Games: Catching Fire (2013), Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (2005), The Great Gatsby (2013), Hot Fuzz (2007), Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (1964), Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (2016), The Wizard of Oz (1939), Man on Fire (2004), The Nice Guys (2016)

Future BMT: 67.3 Phat Girlz (2006), 63.2 Hot Tub Time Machine 2 (2015), 60.6 Like a Boss (2020), 51.7 Playing with Fire (2019), 51.6 The Boss (2016), 51.0 Johnny Be Good (1988), 50.6 The Hot Chick (2002), 49.9 Arthur 2: On the Rocks (1988), 48.4 Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer (2007), 47.1 Barney’s Great Adventure (1998), 45.1 Fly Me to the Moon 3D (2007), 44.9 Fantastic Four (2005), 40.4 No Good Deed (2014), 39.4 Good Burger (1997), 37.2 The Great Wall (2016), 37.0 Stroker Ace (1983), 36.3 Milk Money (1994), 34.6 Mad Money (2008), 34.3 Mo’ Money (1992), 32.1 Good Deeds (2012)

BMT: Epic Movie (2007), Fantastic Four (2015), The Ridiculous 6 (2015), Cool as Ice (1991), Cool World (1992), A Good Day to Die Hard (2013), Hot Pursuit (2015), The Fly II (1989), One for the Money (2012), Fire Down Below (1997), Air Bud: Golden Receiver (1998), Fire Birds (1990), Good Luck Chuck (2007), Be Cool (2005), Chill Factor (1999), Money Train (1995), Hot to Trot (1988), The Golden Child (1986), Righteous Kill (2008), Sweet Home Alabama (2002), The Wizard (1989), Hunter Killer (2018)

Best Options (Horror): 56.2 The Fly II (1989), 40.4 No Good Deed (2014)

(Yeah, no very good options here, until you pulled in some Thrillers. At the very least The Good Son would have been an option … but spoilers, we are doing that later.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 16) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Eric Stoltz is No. 1 billed in The Fly II and No. 4 billed in Anaconda, which also stars Jennifer Lopez (No. 1 billed) who is in Gigli (No. 2 billed) which also stars Ben Affleck (No. 1 billed) who is in Pearl Harbor (No. 1 billed) which also stars Josh Hartnett (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 3 billed) => (1 + 4) + (1 + 2) + (1 + 1) + (3 + 3) = 16. If we were to watch Jack, and The Glass House we can get the HoE Number down to 16.

Notes – Chris Walas wanted Geena Davis to reprise her role as Veronica Quaife for the birth scene at the beginning of the film. Geena Davis declined, because she had found the maggot-baby dream sequence in the original film emotionally upsetting and was replaced by Saffron Henderson, despite being 10 years younger than Davis.

The first videotape of Seth Brundle (Jeff Goldblum) (where he theorizes that the teleporter improved him) is actually part of a deleted scene from The Fly (1986). The scene was slightly edited for this film, and Veronica’s (Geena Davis) voice was dubbed over by Saffron Henderson (who plays Veronica at the beginning of The Fly II (1989)).

The Telepod props from The Fly (1986) were destroyed after filming was completed and had to be rebuilt.

John Getz (Stathis Borans) is the only actor reprising a role from the The Fly (1986).

The green flashes of light between each credit in the title sequence were actually borrowed from an alternate, unused title sequence for The Fly (1986).

In at least one draft of the script, Martin was going to see yet another videotape of Seth Brundle (this time nearing the end of his transformation), in which Seth talks about his “cure”. This would have required brand-new footage of Jeff Goldblum in makeup from the previous film, and the concept was subsequently dropped from the script.

The movie was originally given an X rating by the MPAA because of the graphic scene where Hargis’ head is crushed underneath an elevator. Director Chris Walas appealed the decision, and the MPAA gave the film an R rating without any edits to the scene.

In some US states, theaters playing The Fly II (1989) had a nurse on hand for the audience’s reactions to its content.

Mel Brooks suggested to Chris Walas that Daphne Zuniga play Beth Logan, after Zuniga starred as Princess Vespa in Brook’s “Star Wars” spoof Spaceballs (1987).

The book next to the sleeping technician in the control room at the beginning of the film is “The Shape of Rage”, an anthology of writings about the films of David Cronenberg, who directed this film’s predecessor.

A scene was taken out of the film which reveals the reason why Bartok and his scientists can’t get the Telepods to work is because Stathis took the operating disc from the Telepods and all the research on it to ensure the Telepods couldn’t cause any more damage than they already had.

Although “The Fly III” never happened, a comic book sequel, “The Fly: Outbreak” by Brandon Seifert, was published in 2015. “Outbreak” takes place years after The Fly II (1989) and it follows Martin Brundle attempting to cure Anton Bartok of his mutant condition.

Originally, writer Mick Garris’s script was about Veronica being convinced not to abort her baby by a religious cult who would keep and raise Martin after he was born. The rapidly aging Martin is joined by a group of kids with their own unique abilities or deformities and Martin could discover he could communicate with insects and would lead the kids to escape the cult and live in the outskirts of L.A.. This premise was abandoned for being too strange and family friendly. Another draft included Bartok scientists using cloning technology to resurrect Seth Brundle, still stuck as BrundleFly at first, and would discover that his son Martin (who was originally meant to be a child/teenager throughout the film) could communicate with him. Chris Walas disliked this version of the story as he thought it was too odd of a premise to the point where it came off like a family-friendly horror film about a boy and his bug monster. He even threatened to walk off the project if the script wasn’t changed, so the Fox executives relented and hired Frank Darabont to overhaul the script.

There had been a change in management at Fox between The Fly (1986) and this sequel, and the new head of Fox hadn’t even seen the previous film. Director Chris Walas claims that they wanted the film to explore themes of defying destiny and what it means to be a son, but the Fox executives ordered them to ditch the existential themes and make the film a standard, gory movie that teens could enjoy on their date. Mel Brooks would later remark that he had never seen so much studio interference on a movie before.

Don’t Worry Darling Preview

Kyle sits in his study tapping his chin, deep in thought. It’s been over four years since the disappearance of the Bad Movie Twins. He opens his desk drawer to take a glance at the Dongle. It’s sat there untouched since that day. Jamie and Patrick spent every day of their lives trying to make sure it never fell into the wrong hands, yet he’s done nothing and nobody seems to care. Not a suspicious knock at his door, not a Predator, Demon box, or even Scott Bakula showing up on his doorstep. It’s been downright pleasant. “You looking at it again?” Rachel asks from the doorway. Kyle closes it quickly and smiles. “Yeah, I just… I don’t know what to do with it,” he says with a sad note in his voice, “I wish they were back so they could take it off my hands.” Rachel squeezes his shoulder and shakes her head. “No,” she says, “you just wish they were back.” It’s true. His life is great. Great wife, great kids, great house, and a hit Sexy Mannequin centric website that has taken him around the world. But every time he looks in that drawer he can’t help but think he failed them. “You didn’t fail them,” Rachel says firmly, “you’ll get them back. And if you don’t, it’s because they didn’t want to be found. It seems like it’s safer in your hands than it was in theirs.” Kyle nods. “Safer in our hands,” he corrects with a smile. And it’s true, but he’d never say it himself. He opens the drawer a crack one more time and steals a glance. After shutting it he promises he’ll never look at it again and this time he’ll keep that promise. “Don’t worry darling,” Rachel says… and he doesn’t. That’s right! We’re taking a little interlude for a classic BMT Live! Sometimes you gotta jump on the chance to see something even if it qualifies by the skin of its teeth. Don’t Worry Darling has had such a tumultuous press tour that it transformed from Oscar contender to BMT hopeful before our eyes. I’m excited. Let’s go!

Don’t Worry Darling (2022) – BMeTric: 20.9; Notability: 28

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 11.2%; Notability: top 3.6%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 22.1%; Higher BMeT: Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Brazen, The Bubble, Moonfall, Firestarter, They/Them, Blacklight, Morbius, Me Time, Pinocchio, Spiderhead, Deep Water, Umma, Senior Year, The 355, Jurassic World Dominion, The Invitation, White Elephant, Samaritan, Memory, and 8 more; Higher Notability: Jurassic World Dominion, Pinocchio, Morbius, Amsterdam, The Bubble, Moonfall, Deep Water, The Man from Toronto, Spiderhead; Lower RT: After Ever Happy, Me Time, Blacklight, Firestarter, Brazen, White Elephant, Morbius, Paradise Highway, Home Team, The Bubble, The Man from Toronto, Senior Year, Murder at Yellowstone City, The 355, The Invitation, Pinocchio, Memory, Black Site, Alice, Jurassic World Dominion, and 11 more; Notes: The numbers will be a bit weird since it just came out. Notability is where it shines I suppose, which makes sense.

RogerEbert.com – 2.0 stars – The craft on display is impeccable, though, from the gleaming cinematography from Matthew Libatique (Darren Aronofsky’s usual collaborator) to the flawless production design from Katie Byron to the to-die-for costumes from Arianne Phillips. The excellent work of all those behind-the-scenes folks and others at least makes “Don’t Worry Darling” consistently watchable, all the way up to its non-ending of an ending. Let’s just say you’ll have questions afterward, and those post-movie conversations will probably be more thoughtful and stimulating than the movie itself.

(I basically agree with this review. It is very very competently made. But the ending is pretty silly and leaves more mostly dumb questions than actually interesting questions. But it also probably doesn’t end up here if not for the multiple controversies surrounding the production.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bW9aRVXIwaY/

(It is a great trailer. Every time I saw it I figured this was going to be at the very worst a decent Oscar contender for some of the people involved. Alas, it probably misses. The only one I could imagine now is Pugh, but that is probably not in the cards because of her refusal to promote the film.)

Directors – Olivia Wilde – ( Known For: Booksmart; BMT: Don’t Worry Darling; Notes: Booksmart is awesome, and as an actress I always thought she was great (shoutout to The O.C.). Too bad this is her sophomore effort. Yeah … she publicly got served divorce papers while promoting this film and was dating Harry Styles while separated I think. That and having Shia LeBeouf quit and calling Pugh “Miss Flo” was part of the controversy surrounding the film.)

Writers – Katie Silberman – ( Known For: Booksmart; Set It Up; Isn’t It Romantic; BMT: Don’t Worry Darling; Notes: Seems to be making a career on making films that parody genres or turn them on their head. In a way this could have been no different, a take on The Stepford Wives, but seems to have fallen short.)

Carey Van Dyke and Shane Van Dyke – ( Known For: The Silence; BMT: Don’t Worry Darling; Chernobyl Diaries; Notes: Chernobyl Diaries to this? That is a bizarre trajectory. Oh and yeah, they are the grandsons of Dick Van Dyke.)

Actors – Florence Pugh – ( Known For: Midsommar; Little Women; Black Widow; The Wonder; Fighting with My Family; Outlaw King; Lady Macbeth; The Commuter; Malevolent; The Falling; BMT: Don’t Worry Darling; Notes: Her career is amazing. MCU, indie horror, indie adaptation of a beloved novel. Honestly a bit sad to see this as her first BMT. It is so borderline that without the drama it probably wouldn’t have qualified at all.)

Harry Styles – ( Known For: My Policeman; Eternals; Dunkirk; BMT: Don’t Worry Darling; Notes: Yeah, he’s really trying the acting thing. He is obviously famous as a singer, both solo and as part of One Direction, but he has been slowly building up his parts in real films. Yeah … he started dating Olivia Wilde during filming, and then possibly spit on Chris Pine during an awards ceremony. That about sums up the controversy surrounding the film.)

Chris Pine – ( Known For: All the Old Knives; Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse; Wonder Woman; The Contractor; Star Trek; Star Trek Beyond; Wonder Woman 1984; Hell or High Water; Outlaw King; Unstoppable; Into the Woods; Star Trek Into Darkness; Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit; A Wrinkle in Time; The Finest Hours; Rise of the Guardians; Carriers; Bottle Shock; Z for Zachariah; People Like Us; Future BMT: The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement; Smokin’ Aces; Horrible Bosses 2; Just My Luck; BMT: Don’t Worry Darling; This Means War; Notes: Chris Pine is great, although All the Old Knives? Not great, I watched that a few months ago. He felt like he was disappearing a bit recently. I do really hope he can get another Star Trek cooking at some point.)

Budget/Gross – $35 million / Domestic: $44,344,233 (Worldwide: $83,044,233)

(This is fine in the end. I think it certainly made up the budget. They were probably going for a $100 million worldwide take (something like $50 domestic), but it didn’t miss too badly.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 38% (120/315): Despite an intriguing array of talent on either side of the camera, Don’t Worry Darling is a mostly muddled rehash of overly familiar themes.

(Juuuuuust barely. It is almost a certainty without the controversy it would be sitting somewhere closer to 50%, which is where I think it would fairly sit in the end as well.)

Reviewer Highlight: A cheap parlor trick…Pugh gives her all to even the weakest scenes, but leading man Styles struggles to keep up. – Richard Roeper, Chicago Sun-Times

Poster – I’m Not Worried, You’re Worried

(This is my least favorite style of poster. Too old school. Never has a good color scheme. Font is terrible… but this is also how you sell your movie. Pugh is beautiful. Styles gets the ladies going. Everyone is rolling into the theater to see whatever that poster is promising. I grade that an SS… as in Sex Sells.)

Tagline(s) – Are you ready to live the life you deserve? (D+)

(Eeehhhhh. I don’t like that. I’m actually a little confused as to how it pertains to the actual movie. I mean, that’s not really the plot of the movie, before or after the twist. But that’s not the crime. The crime is that it’s boring.)

Keyword(s) – Year 2022

Top 10: The Batman (2022), The Kashmir Files (2022), Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness (2022), Top Gun: Maverick (2022), Thor: Love and Thunder (2022), Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022), The Adam Project (2022), Uncharted (2022), The Northman (2022), The Gray Man (2022)

Future BMT: 62.2 Firestarter (2022), 61.8 Blacklight (2022), 52.0 Radhe Shyam (2022), 47.8 Umma (2022), 45.5 The 355 (2022), 44.2 Jurassic World Dominion (2022), 43.2 The Invitation (2022), 39.3 Memory (2022), 37.2 After Ever Happy (2022), 33.6 The King’s Daughter (2022), 7.1 Where the Crawdads Sing (2022)

BMT: Moonfall (2022), Morbius (2022), Don’t Worry Darling (2022)

(Decent haul this year, 14 films so far. Still far from the typical 30ish films we’d hope for as a minimum, but still better than we’d expect. The plot is useless because it is just a bit bar at 2022 and that’s it.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 22) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Chris Pine is No. 3 billed in Don’t Worry Darling and No. 2 billed in This Means War, which also stars Reese Witherspoon (No. 1 billed) who is in Devil’s Knot (No. 1 billed) which also stars Bruce Greenwood (No. 9 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 6 billed) => (3 + 2) + (1 + 1) + (9 + 6) = 22. If we were to watch Legally Blonde 2: Red, White & Blonde we can get the HoE Number down to 16.

Notes – The hilltop headquarters of the Victory Corporation is the iconic “volcano house” in the Mojave Desert community of Newberry Springs, California. The house was owned by PBS television personality Huell Howser, who donated the house to Chapman University in 2012 shortly before his death.

Olivia Wilde originally wanted to play the lead role but decided to cast Florence Pugh after seeing her in Midsommar (2019).

Frank, the Victory Project’s leader, is shown living in Kaufmann House, one of the most well-known mid-century homes in the world. Although the Kaufmann House’s exterior has been shown at various times over the years in both film and TV, “Don’t Worry Darling” is the first film to feature scenes shot on the property itself, including several peeks at its rarely seen interiors.

While introducing the trailer to an audience at CinemaCon in April 2022, Olivia Wilde was angered when she was interrupted on stage by a process server handing her custody papers from her ex-fiancé Jason Sudeikis. Sudeikis responded later that he had no idea that was going to happen and said he’d never have condoned it being served in “such an inappropriate manner.”

Although the film is set in a place described only as “Victory Town” onscreen, it’s very clearly set – and its exteriors were filmed – in Palm Springs, California, from which most of its interior design is directly derived. The city has one of the largest caches of mid-century-modern (MCM) architecture & design in the world, and nearby every single visual element in the film draws heavily from the MCM aesthetic.

Reports of conflicts among the cast circulated the media for weeks leading up to the film’s premiere. Shia LaBeouf was originally cast as Jack but was replaced with Harry Styles in September 2020, one month before filming began. LaBeouf’s departure was first attributed to a scheduling conflict, but Variety reported in December that he was fired due to poor behavior and frequent clashes with Olivia Wilde and the cast, pointing out Wilde’s “zero asshole policy” and LaBeouf’s reputation for being difficult to work with. The controversy was revived in August 2022, when Wilde said in a Variety interview that LaBeouf’s process and style were too combative for the production while still wishing him well. LaBeouf then disputed the reports that he was fired, claiming that he quit despite Wilde’s efforts to keep him on. A video message in which Wilde asks LaBeouf not to quit the film while alluding to conflicts with Florence Pugh was leaked online. Rumors of tension between Wilde and Pugh were exacerbated after The Wrap reported that Pugh would not participate in the film’s press tour due to her commitments filming Dune: Part Two (2023).

In the script Bunny was present in the dinner table scene, but Olivia Wilde removed her character from the scene so she could direct from behind the camera.

This film’s script first appeared on the 2019 Black List. Olivia Wilde’s previous film Booksmart (2019) was also a Black List script.

Harry Styles and Olivia Wilde reportedly started dating while working on this film.

Grease 2 Preview

Patrick looks around. Not only is the Dongle nowhere in sight, but neither is Jamie. He shivers. They’ve been separated a number of times during their adventures, and it usually didn’t turn out great. It would appear he is in a big old house, but before he can fully get his bearings he’s interrupted by a coy “yoo hoo.” When he turns his mouth goes dry. A very beautiful lady wearing an indecent amount of clothes is beckoning him. “Come back to bed, Sly,” she coos, further startling Patrick. He grabs one of the many nearby hand mirrors and screams in terror. Staring back at him is none other than Sly Stallone! Shaking out a nearby New York Times he finds a surprisingly good review for Speed Zone. My word, it’s 1989. “Where are you going?” yells the beautiful lady incredulously. He tries to think fast as he throws on whatever clothes can fit on his monstrous body. “Uh, school,” he sputters dumbly, stumbling out of the door.

Jamie looks around. Not only is the Dongle nowhere in sight, but neither is Patrick. Well, when the Patricks are away, the Jamies will play. The house he’s in is pretty dope and he can’t help but bump some tunes while making a few sandwiches. Through a mouthful of ‘wich he starts to sing along but is startled to hear what comes out. His voice has always been good… but not THIS GOOD. He rushes to the bathroom and gasps. He’s Frank Stallone… and he’s looking pretty rough. A teenage boy turns the corner and dumbly says, “Yo, Daddio, heading out for the first day of school. Senior year is gonna rock!” Jamie gasps again. His son is wearing a Class of 2031 shirt. He’s Frank Stallone and he’s 80 years old.

That’s right! We are fully transitioning to our Bring a Friend split story where on one side we are heading into the past. And on the other (smaller) side we are heading to the future. This time we are heading back to school with the one-two punch of Grease 2 and Class of 1999. Good combo as on one side we have a stark apocalyptic vision of high school life and on the other we have Class of 1999. Let’s go!

Grease 2 (1982) – BMeTric: 74.8; Notability: 44

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 0.0%; Notability: top 1.6%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 11.1%; Higher Notability: Young Doctors in Love, Firefox, Trail of the Pink Panther, Movie Madness; Lower RT: Megaforce, Class Reunion, Movie Madness, The Dorm That Dripped Blood, Monsignor, The Toy, Zapped!, Friday the 13th Part III, Five Days One Summer, Parasite, The Beast Within, Losin’ It, Amityville II: The Possession, Vigilante, Fighting Back, Trail of the Pink Panther, Summer Lovers, Wrong Is Right, Lookin’ to Get Out, Young Doctors in Love, and 2 more; Notes: Wow, the BMeTric is really gaudy, especially for 1982. I sometimes forget just how well known this is as a bad movie.

RogerEbert.com – 2.0 stars – If ever there was a time for a punk “Grease,” that time is now. The original “Grease” was born all those many years ago as an affectionate memory of a Chicago high school in the 1950s. It went through a lot of changes on Its way through Broadway to Hollywood, but at least when John Travolta whipped out his pocket comb and slicked back his hair, we knew we were in the right era.

(Actually … that is a pretty good point Ebert. It would have made perfect sense to flash forward to like the 70s and have people’s children be the main characters, and other main characters from the original as teachers and junk. Basically Rock and Roll High School I suppose.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WQTUEj-TqLo

(That is quite the trailer. Like … the whole movie? You see probably two thirds of the songs in some capacity. The reproduction song is absurd.)

Directors – Patricia Birch – ( BMT: Grease 2; Notes: Won two Emmy for Great Performances, and was nominated for five Tonys for best choreography (including for Grease).)

Writers – Ken Finkleman – ( Known For: Airplane II: The Sequel; Illegally Yours; Future BMT: Who’s That Girl; Head Office; BMT: Grease 2; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Screenplay for Who’s That Girl in 1988; Notes: Nominated for an Emmy for Van Dyke and Company. Created The Newsroom among other things on television.)

Jim Jacobs and Warren Casey – ( Known For: Grease; BMT: Grease 2; Notes: They wrote the book for Grease on Broadway and they get Grease credits based on that.)

Actors – Michelle Pfeiffer – ( Known For: Avengers: Endgame; Scarface; Mother!; Murder on the Orient Express; Stardust; What Lies Beneath; Batman Returns; The Prince of Egypt; Ant-Man and the Wasp; Hairspray; The Witches of Eastwick; Dangerous Liaisons; The Age of Innocence; Ladyhawke; The Deep End of the Ocean; A Midsummer Night’s Dream; Wolf; Frankie and Johnny; White Oleander; Married to the Mob; Future BMT: Dark Shadows; The Family; Maleficent: Mistress of Evil; I Am Sam; Up Close & Personal; The Story of Us; To Gillian on Her 37th Birthday; BMT: Grease 2; Dangerous Minds; New Year’s Eve; A Thousand Acres; Notes: A very early credit for her, she would break out the next year with Scarface. Nominated for three Oscars for Dangerous Liaisons, The Fabulous Baker Boys, and Love Field. Dangerous Liaisons is what Cruel Intentions is based on.)

Maxwell Caulfield – ( Known For: Empire Records; Gettysburg; Electric Dreams; The Boys Next Door; Sundown: The Vampire in Retreat; Accident; Waxwork II: Lost in Time; Dance with Death; The Real Blonde; Oblivion 2: Backlash; Mind Games; Facing the Enemy; The Supernaturals; Submerged; Fatal Sky; Future BMT: The Man Who Knew Too Little; Calendar Girl; BMT: Grease 2; Notes: British. He was actually in quite a few American movies before going back to England to work on ITV shows and such. Probably most famously Casualty, which is a huge show.)

Lorna Luft – ( Known For: Where the Boys Are; I Could Go on Singing; Future BMT: 54; My Giant; BMT: Grease 2; Notes: Nominated for an Emmy for producing Life with Judy Garland: Me and My Shadows. She is, in fact, Judy Garland’s daughter.)

Budget/Gross – $11.2 million / Domestic: $15,171,476 (Worldwide: $15,171,476)

(That isn’t great. At least, no way they were expecting such a return for the sequel to Grease. I think I see the issue though … the movie doesn’t have good songs.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 35% (15/43): Grease 2 is undeniably stocked with solid songs and well-choreographed dance sequences, but there’s no getting around the fact that it’s a blatant retread of its far more entertaining predecessor.

(SOLID SONGS?! This movie is “stocked” with solid songs? That is what we are going with. Absurd! I’ve seen the film. The songs are, bar one or two, pretty terrible.)

Reviewer Highlight: Grease 2 is dizzy and slight, with an even more negligible plot than its predecessor had. This time the story can’t even masquerade as an excuse for stringing the songs together. – Janet Maslin, New York Times

Poster – Grease 2: This Time They’re Lame

(I guess it’s a classic take on a poster, but it doesn’t mean I have to like it. What a difference a sequel makes. The first film you get Travolta and ONJ. Electric. This time you have Pfeiffer, sure, but then anonymous random dude #4. What a let down. C-)

Tagline(s) – The Music and Feeling go on Forever (D)

(I don’t know what that means, and you know what? I don’t care to find out.)

Keyword(s) – past

Top 10: The Shawshank Redemption (1994), Forrest Gump (1994), The Dark Knight Rises (2012), Django Unchained (2012), Gladiator (2000), Inglourious Basterds (2009), Saving Private Ryan (1998), Schindler’s List (1993), The Prestige (2006), Shutter Island (2010)

Future BMT: 88.6 BloodRayne (2005), 72.9 The Unborn (2009), 70.3 Texas Chainsaw (2013), 70.1 Black Christmas (2006), 69.7 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (1993), 65.8 The Woman in Black 2: Angel of Death (2014), 64.5 The Final Destination (2009), 62.1 The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (2008), 59.7 Exorcist: The Beginning (2004), 59.0 Apollo 18 (2011) … (and many more)

BMT: Epic Movie (2007), Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987), The Fog (2005), Movie 43 (2013), Super Mario Bros. (1993), Glitter (2001), Holmes & Watson (2018), The Master of Disguise (2002), The Legend of Hercules (2014), Grease 2 (1982), The Bye Bye Man (2017), Jonah Hex (2010), Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare (1991), Wild Wild West (1999), Highlander: The Final Dimension (1994), The Ridiculous 6 (2015), Highlander: Endgame (2000), Black Knight (2001), Chernobyl Diaries (2012), A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child (1989), Cool World (1992), The Musketeer (2001), An American Haunting (2005), Ishtar (1987), The Nun (2018), The Curse of La Llorona (2019), Pinocchio (2002), Hellraiser: Bloodline (1996), Bones (2001), Shanghai Surprise (1986), House of Wax (2005), Return to the Blue Lagoon (1991), Season of the Witch (2011), The Tuxedo (2002), Mannequin: On the Move (1991), Pompeii (2014), Ghost Ship (2002), Assassin’s Creed (2016), The Scarlet Letter (1995), Timeline (2003), Dolittle (2020), The Quest (1996), X-Men: Dark Phoenix (2019), Wagons East (1994), The Three Musketeers (2011), Diana (2013), Rambo III (1988), Around the World in 80 Days (2004), The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning (2006), The Blue Lagoon (1980), Cutthroat Island (1995), Texas Rangers (2001), Sucker Punch (2011), Captain Corelli’s Mandolin (2001), Jobs (2013), Universal Soldier (1992), Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights (2004), Friday the 13th Part 2 (1981), Original Sin (2001), Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters (2013), American Outlaws (2001), Winter’s Tale (2014), Harlem Nights (1989), The Identical (2014), I Dreamed of Africa (2000), The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003), The Chamber (1996), The Marrying Man (1991), Wild Bill (1995), In Love and War (1996), Sleepaway Camp (1983), Gods and Generals (2003), The Lone Ranger (2013), X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009), Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales (2017), Rambo: First Blood Part II (1985), Halloween II (1981), September Dawn (2007), Young Guns II (1990), Oscar (1991), Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2011), Evening (2007), The 13th Warrior (1999), White Comanche (1968), Gangster Squad (2013), Now and Then (1995), A Dog’s Purpose (2017)

Best Options (Comedy): 76.6 Grease 2 (1982), 69.7 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (1993), 57.6 Bolero (1984), 54.5 Snow Dogs (2002), 53.7 Spy Hard (1996), 52.9 Porky’s Revenge (1985), 51.8 My Girl 2 (1994), 51.5 Porky’s II: The Next Day (1983), 48.2 You Don’t Mess with the Zohan (2008), 47.9 King Solomon’s Mines (1985) … (and many more)

(We’re in the past, baby! Actually a really hard concept to define. I ended up defining it as a collection of about 900 wikipedia pages, mostly things like “films set in the 14th century” and such. For the category most part I think it does pretty well, although undeniably there are films which merely have a prologue set in the past, but the bulk of the film is not. I think The Final Destination fits into that category. Anyways, we got the top comedy here.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 13) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Michelle Pfeiffer is No. 2 billed in Grease 2 and No. 2 billed in New Year’s Eve, which also stars Robert De Niro (No. 1 billed) who is in Righteous Kill (No. 1 billed) which also stars Al Pacino (No. 2 billed) who is in 88 Minutes (No. 1 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (2 + 2) + (1 + 1) + (2 + 1) + (3 + 1) = 13. If we were to watch The Family we can get the HoE Number down to 13.

Notes – “Do It For Our Country” is a duet between Sharon and Louis. Maureen Teefy couldn’t make it to the recording session, so Peter Frechette had to sing the whole song himself, which is why Maureen’s vocals aren’t on the movie’s soundtrack. Her voice was dubbed in later in the song

According to Maxwell Caulfield’s stunt double Gary Davis, Michelle Pfeiffer performed her own stunts in the famous Lone Rider/Stephanie romantic motorcycle ride. “She sat behind me, then I lifted her around to where she straddled me, and then we wheelie’d away. She was wonderful the whole time.”

Michelle Pfeiffer’s first major starring role. 

Michelle Pfeiffer and Maxwell Caulfield did not get along during filming. A few years after the film was released, Caulfield said in an interview that they “got along infamously.” Pfeiffer claimed in an interview that Maxwell was “self-adoring.”

Though the connection was never acknowledged in the movie, Johnny Nogerelli was originally intended to be the cousin of Danny Zuko from the first film. But Michael was Sandy’s cousin, and the writers thought there were too many similarities.

John Travolta and Dame Olivia Newton-John met with the studio to discuss reprising their roles, but weren’t pursued further after the initial conference.

The film damaged Maxwell Caulfield’s career severely. He has been quoted as saying, “Before Grease 2 came out, I was being hailed as the next Richard Gere or John Travolta. However, when Grease 2 flopped, nobody would touch me. It felt like a bucket of cold water had been thrown in my face. It took me 10 years to get over Grease 2.”

Original plans were for this to be the second installment in a franchise of four movies and a TV series. When the movie flopped, plans for a franchise were thrown out. Disney ended up adapting the unused script for the third movie, which became High School Musical (2006).

The theatrical feature film debut for Lorna Luft, daughter of Judy Garland, and half-sister of Liza Minnelli.

Patricia Birch was the dance choreographer for the original Grease (1978) having also choreographed the source stage musical. Publicity for this sequel stated that it was the first time a female choreographer had become a film director. This movie was her directorial debut, and her only theatrical film directing credit.

The film had 500 cast members.

Boys and Girls Preview

After four hours, Jamie and Patrick are finally able to wipe off the last of the muck and mire they ended up smeared in as part of their elaborate ruse to escape prison. The first of the Halloween novelty songs they came up with was a pretty standard riff on a classic. The Monster Rash was less about a party full of monsters and more about a pretty serious rash the narrator got while attending a party full of monsters. Bongo and Mash seemed to think it was fine if you were into that kind of thing. But once they launched into their refrain of the Yuck-o Uck-o Dracula Spooktacula, Bongo and Mash seemed terrified. Perhaps it was the horrendous stench of the mud required for the song’s dangerous mosh pit atmosphere or the twelve minute interlude that consisted only of Jamie and Patrick screaming “SUCK MUD!!!!” into the microphones at truly scary volumes. Regardless, Bongo and Mash were gone when they regained consciousness. As they leave the prison in search of the Mikey Mike and the Mikey Mike’s concert they wonder how it is they got to this warped HoE dimension. “Physics,” a voice says behind them. When they whirl around a hooded man is already heading into the woods. They follow him to a quaint house. “What do you mean physics? What do you even know about it?” Jamie asks. The man shakes his head and mutters one word, “everything,” and pulls down his hood. Jamie and Patrick gasp, it’s Kyle… or is it Kyle? He has to be at least 15 years older. “It is him,” a voice says behind them, “it’s us.” When they turn they see Rachel. And with her is a brood of five girls and boys. Wha-wha-whaaaaa?! That’s right! We’re watching the comedy classic Girls and Boys… you know, the Freddie Prinze Jr. film that was a giant box office smash and *check notes* oh no nevermind, then fell into obscurity. Don’t worry about it, we’ll still watch it. Let’s go!

Boys and Girls (2000) – BMeTric: 44.7; Notability: 47

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 12.0%; Notability: top 8.8%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 7.2%; Higher BMeT: Battlefield Earth, Dungeons & Dragons, Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2, The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas, Nutty Professor II: The Klumps, Urban Legends: Final Cut, 102 Dalmatians, Highlander: Endgame, Dracula 2000, Supernova, Big Momma’s House, Get Carter, The Next Best Thing, Little Nicky, Down to You, Hanging Up, Lost Souls, Bless the Child, The Crow: Salvation, Fortress 2: Re-Entry, and 10 more; Higher Notability: Little Nicky, Gone in 60 Seconds, The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas, Coyote Ugly, Mission to Mars, Ready to Rumble, Lost Souls, Proof of Life, Rules of Engagement, Reindeer Games, 102 Dalmatians, Thomas and the Magic Railroad, Hollow Man, Bless the Child, Supernova, Nutty Professor II: The Klumps, Final Destination, Dude, Where’s My Car?, Dracula 2000, Get Carter, and 2 more; Lower RT: 3 Strikes, Fortress 2: Re-Entry, My 5 Wives, The in Crowd, Battlefield Earth, Bless the Child, Down to You, Lost Souls, Turn It Up, The Skulls, Urban Legends: Final Cut, Dungeons & Dragons, Supernova, I Dreamed of Africa, Ed Gein, Screwed, The Watcher; Notes: A little weak maybe, but we didn’t have many options (see below). Probably most impressive with the Rotten Tomatoes score. I really want to watch Fortress 2: Re-Entry … more than I should. Pretty high notability for a romantic comedy though.

RogerEbert.com – 2.0 stars – “Boys and Girls” is soothing and harmless, gentle and interminable. It is about two people who might as well fall in love, since fate and the plot have given them nothing else to do and no one else to do it with. Compared to the wisdom and wickedness of “High Fidelity,” this is such a slight movie. It’s not that I don’t like it. It’s that I don’t care.

(Yeah, that is what this film feels like. Like a year-2000 Hughes film or High Fidelity or something. A film about falling in love and growing up … except this somehow didn’t work which is interesting.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FBIYE656wr0/

(OH NO. Oh no no no no no. Oh no. That is maybe the worst beginning to a preview I’ve ever seen. At least it gets normal eventually.)

Directors – Robert Iscove – ( Known For: She’s All That; Love N’ Dancing; BMT: Boys and Girls; From Justin to Kelly; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Director for From Justin to Kelly in 2004; Notes: He was nominated for two Emmys. One for a Cinderella television event film, and one for choreography for an Ann-Margaret Special. This pretty much ended his feature film career, but he’s done a ton of TV movies since.)

Writers – Andrew Lowery – ( Known For: Simon Sez; Nothing; BMT: Boys and Girls; Notes: Clearly a writing team, but Lowery actually had a real acting career as well, specifically in My Boyfriend’s Back and School Ties to name two.)

Andrew Miller – ( Known For: Simon Sez; Nothing; BMT: Boys and Girls; Notes: Also an actor, most notably in Cube. They were credited as The Drews for at least part of their writing career.)

Actors – Freddie Prinze Jr. – ( Known For: Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker; She’s All That; The Reef; The House of Yes; Brooklyn Rules; Jack and Jill vs. the World; New York City Serenade; Future BMT: Scooby-Doo; Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed; Happily N’Ever After; Delgo; To Gillian on Her 37th Birthday; BMT: I Know What You Did Last Summer; I Still Know What You Did Last Summer; Boys and Girls; Summer Catch; Head Over Heels; Down to You; Wing Commander; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Supporting Actor for Scooby-Doo in 2003; Notes: We are getting pretty close with his BMT career. If we knocked out the Scooby-Doos we’d be real close. He’s kind of a famous voice actor now, specifically in a lot of Star Wars stuff.)

Claire Forlani – ( Known For: Meet Joe Black; The Rock; Five Feet Apart; Green Street Hooligans; Mallrats; Mystery Men; Black Beauty; Love’s Kitchen; For Your Consideration; Basquiat; Hallam Foe; Police Academy: Mission to Moscow; An Affair to Die For; Flashbacks of a Fool; Precious Cargo; Shannon’s Rainbow; Shadows in the Sun; Head Full of Honey; Another Me; Ripley Under Ground; Future BMT: Antitrust; Bobby Jones: Stroke of Genius; BMT: In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale; The Medallion; Boys and Girls; Notes: Married to Dougray Scott. She apparently walked off of Deep Rising and, based on the credits, I think was replaced by Famke Janssen.)

Brendon Ryan Barrett – ( Known For: Lloyd; The Shadow Men; Durango Kids; BMT: Boys and Girls; Notes: Screw it I’m leaving it. This is the actor who played the young version of Freddie Prinze Jr. for approximately 5 minutes of the film. He was in all 25 episodes of Soul Man, a television program I’ve never heard of starring Dan Aykroyd.)

Budget/Gross – $35,000,000 / Domestic: $21,799,652 (Worldwide: $25,850,615)

(Not great. But I don’t believe that budget. However, I do think this was filmed on location in San Francisco … so I guess that could have driven things up a bit.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 11% (7/63): Boys and Girls feels like a cheap rip-off of When Harry Met Sally. The predictable and stale story fails to engage.

(I mean, yeah, it is a predictable cheap rip-off of When Harry Met Sally. Wait, was 2000 the year where ripping off old movies officially became a no-go for Hollywood? They were basically releasing the same movie over and over in the 40s through to the early 70s sometimes, and the reviews seemed like they were mostly just like “the new actors weren’t as good.” … Now that I say that all out loud though, Freddie Prinze Jr. and Claire Forlani are definitely not peak Billy Crystal and Meg Ryan, so the reviews now seem pretty fair.)

Reviewer Highlight: [Iscove’s] brought with him his cottage-cheese- chunky storytelling skills, patented dance-so-no-one- notices-we’re-tanking musical interludes, and, oh yes, the redoubtable Freddie Prinze Jr. – Wesley Morris, San Francisco Examiner

Poster – Sklogs and Glogs

(Nope. Not into it. The spacing and such is fine it’s just… pretty much everything else that’s wrong with it. C-)

Tagline(s) – Opposites Attack (F)

(Wooooaaaahhhh. I have to say, in any other context that might be a solid A-. It’s short and sweet and riffing on a phrase. Wouldn’t be wholly unique, perhaps, but good if it had the right movie to sit with. The problem? This makes absolutely no sense for this film. What a waste. And for that I give it an F.)

Keyword(s) – dimension

Top 10: Sin City (2005), Spectre (2015), The Others (2001), Scream (1996), Equilibrium (2002), From Dusk Till Dawn (1996), The Mist (2007), Death Proof (2007), 1408 (2007), Scary Movie (2000)

Future BMT: 86.5 The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl 3-D (2005), 82.8 Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World (2011), 77.4 Who’s Your Caddy? (2007), 76.9 Superhero Movie (2008), 70.1 Black Christmas (2006), 68.6 Pulse (2006), 66.9 The Crow: City of Angels (1996), 64.9 Scary Movie 4 (2006), 61.8 Cursed (2005), 58.9 Apollo 18 (2011)

BMT: Scary Movie V (2013), Halloween: Resurrection (2002), Highlander: The Final Dimension (1994), Halloween II (2009), Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers (1995), My Boss’s Daughter (2003), Highlander: Endgame (2000), Dracula 2000 (2000), Hellraiser: Bloodline (1996), Air Bud: Golden Receiver (1998), Phantoms (1998), Boys and Girls (2000), Texas Rangers (2001), Reindeer Games (2000), Halloween (2007), Mindhunters (2004)

Best Options (Romance): 44.6 Boys and Girls (2000), 27.3 Senseless (1998)

(Boom, smashed out the best option on the table. And boom … we are still mostly just watching late-90s Dimension. In our defense that’s when they released their best stuff! After 2002ish the studio starts to release real weird stuff like Spy Kids spin-offs.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 14) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Claire Forlani is No. 2 billed in Boys and Girls and No. 8 billed in In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale, which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (2 + 8) + (3 + 1) = 14. If we were to watch Wicker Park we can get the HoE Number down to 12.

Notes – The students seen in several scenes at UC Berkeley are actual Berkeley students; the movie was filmed while classes were in session.

Jason Biggs shot this concurrently with Loser (2000) which was being filmed at the same time in Canada. This necessitated him flying between Toronto and Los Angeles.

Freddie Prinze Jr. deliberately opted for the role of a geek as he was tired of being cast as a pretty boy.

Claire Forlani was aghast when she was told she would be appearing in a dance number. The troupe had been rehearsing the routine for two days – Forlani was given half an hour to learn the moves.

The homecoming scene was shot over Thanksgiving.

Jason Biggs and Alyson Hannigan later starred in the American Pie series together.

This reunites director Robert Iscove with Freddie Prinze Jr. after their previous hit together, She’s All That (1999).

Morbius Preview

Jamie flips back the denim sheet covering the other crate of jorts and huddled in the corner is, “Little Mikey Myers?” Jamie and Patrick gasp simultaneously. Now in his late teens and clutching a PaJama ParTy CD to his chest, Mikey Myers looks at them with fear in his eyes. “Are you…,” he stammers but can’t finish the thought before he faints. This is tickling some vague memory for Patrick, but he can’t quite grasp it. “Wake him up and bring him along. We can’t risk him alerting the guards,” Patrick finally says and soon they are all on their way to the PaJama ParTy green room. LePumice is staring around at his surroundings in awe. “The last concert,” he whispers, “the scene of the crime.” Jamie’s jaw clenches. “Yes,” he agrees, “the night we embarrassed ourselves. It’s clear we were sent here to stop Ty from doing what he did. To resolve the sins of the past and give PaJama ParTy the send off it deserved.” But Patrick isn’t so sure. When they reach the green room door they take a deep breath before busting into the room, a twin chop ready for action. The scene is familiar, Parsons eyes glazed, Ty a devious smirk on his lips, and Jamie and Patrick about to mack on some potent weed brownies. Jamie screams, “Don’t eat it, it’s reefer. Ty is trying to ruin everything.” But instead of a thanks, teen heartthrob Jamie just rolls his eyes. “Uh duh, gramps. That’s the point,” and with that he downs the brownie. Now they remember… The fans were too much, the fame was too much. They did it together. “Now what?” Jamie says hopelessly. Patrick looks at his watch and looks at LePumice, Mikey, and Patrick. “Looks like we’re doing this live.” That’s right! We are doing it Live! BMT Live, that is, and watching the latest, greatest, worstest movie on the block: Morbius. He is a living vampire and we are living people actually going to the theater to watch the film. Let’s go!

Morbius (2022) – BMeTric: 53.5; Notability: 34

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 2.0%; Notability: top 0.0%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 3.6%; Higher BMeT: Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Brazen, The Ice Age Adventures of Buck Wild, Moonfall, Blacklight; Lower RT: Blacklight, Brazen; Notes: So yeah, 34 probably actually translates to what? Like 70 in the long run for Notability. So you probably have to double things. Would be kind of interesting to try and figure something like that out. Could use Lives! from the last few years maybe (NOTE: Looking back at a few it seems like x1.5 is a pretty safe bet. Unfortunately Notability doesn’t go back very far). I am very much looking forward to Blacklight though.

RogerEbert.com – 2.0 stars – Dr. Michael Morbius (Jared Leto), the title character of Columbia Pictures’ MCU-adjacent semi-horror movie “Morbius,” is a “living vampire.” What, you might be thinking, does that mean? Did the good doctor become a vampire without having to die first? Why, yes—he fused his DNA with vampire bat DNA in an attempt to cure the rare, fatal blood disease that’s been plaguing him since childhood. (What disease, you ask? You sweet, innocent child.) The fusion gave him super speed, super strength, echolocation abilities, and an appetite for blood that’s only partially sated by the artificial substitute for which Morbius rejects a Nobel Prize at the beginning of the film. (Why? Again, you’re asking too many questions.) In short, he’s a science vampire. (So, like if Batman was a doctor, then? Wrong universe, but close.)

(It is a very accurate description of how maddening this film is. But … how is that review a 2/4 stars? The film isn’t close to that good and is gobbledegook, so I don’t get how you go above 1.5 stars at all.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SQK-QxxtE8Y/

(Yeah … that looks like garbage haha. Dark, nonsensical garbage. So that’s something to look forward to.)

Directors – Daniel Espinosa – ( Known For: Life; Safe House; Child 44; Snabba Cash; BMT: Morbius; Notes: He is from Sweden. He is announced for two Middle-East-set films about war. I assume in the end only one of those will actually be made.)

Writers – Matt Sazama and Burk Sharpless – ( Known For: Power Rangers; Future BMT: Dracula Untold; BMT: Morbius; Gods of Egypt; The Last Witch Hunter; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Screenplay for Gods of Egypt in 2017; Notes: A writing team who also created the new Lost in Space series. They are also writing a Madam Web movie … for real, who are these characters Sony is making movies about?)

Actors – Jared Leto – ( Known For: Blade Runner 2049; House of Gucci; Zack Snyder’s Justice League; American Psycho; Fight Club; Requiem for a Dream; Panic Room; The Little Things; Dallas Buyers Club; Girl, Interrupted; Lord of War; Mr. Nobody; The Thin Red Line; The Outsider; Chapter 27; Prefontaine; How to Make an American Quilt; Lonely Hearts; Highway; Sunset Strip; Future BMT: Suicide Squad; Alexander; Switchback; Black & White; BMT: Morbius; Urban Legend; Razzie Notes: Winner for Worst Supporting Actor for House of Gucci in 2022; Nominee for Worst Supporting Actor for Suicide Squad in 2017; and Nominee for Worst Screen Couple for House of Gucci in 2022; Notes: These days possibly more known for being somewhat of a lunatic on set than anything else. He won an Oscar for Dallas Buyers Club which has given him something of a blank check over the last ten years.)

Matt Smith – ( Known For: Last Night in Soho; Pride and Prejudice and Zombies; Official Secrets; The Forgiven; His House; Charlie Says; Womb; Lost River; Patient Zero; Mapplethorpe; Bert & Dickie; Future BMT: Terminator Genisys; BMT: Morbius; Notes: Actually most famous for Dr. Who. He was a fine Doctor, although out of the five Doctors since the restart of the series he might be my least favorite, personally.)

Adria Arjona – ( Known For: 6 Underground; Triple Frontier; Pacific Rim: Uprising; Sweet Girl; The Belko Experiment; Future BMT: Life of the Party; BMT: Morbius; Notes: She’s going to be in the Star Wars show Andor. Originally from Puerto Rico, she’s the daughter of singer Ricardo Arjona.)

Budget/Gross – $75–83 million / Domestic: $43,838,847 (Worldwide: $88,738,847)

(I think this will likely be a small loss for Sony in the end, but maybe not so bad that they will pull the plug on the Sinister Six entirely. I’ll end up probably around like $70 domestic and closer to $100 international for a $60 take home for Sony … not what you want, but also maybe not enough to deter things. Then again The Mummy made waaaaaay more than that and the Dark Universe was just one and done immediately.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 16% (33/205): Cursed with uninspired effects, rote performances, and a borderline nonsensical story, this dreary mess is a vein attempt to make Morbius happen.

(Really rather astonishingly bad. Shocking. Like … I was half convinced it was impossible to release a blockbuster with sub-20% these days just because of how studios could repeat the test-screen/reshoot cycle until a film was merely boring instead of outright bad.)

Reviewer Highlight: Morbius is a forgettable, often laughable, entry in Sony’s attempt to fill its own Spider-Man-adjacent cinematic universe, a poorly edited, derivative time suck — pun intended. – Mark Kennedy, Associated Press

Poster – Morbius: Two Wong Chew, Fangs for Everything! Julie Newmar (the Living Vampire)

(There is some nice effort here. I was afraid this would be blah grays and blacks, but they give it an 80’s vibe with some red, blue and purple pop. Nice font too. Biggest problem? This is what I call a Tom Cruise poster: all about dat star. But is Jared Leto really enough of a draw to be the whole poster? Feels incorrect. B-.)

Tagline(s) – The line between hero and villain will be broken. (B-)

(Phew, I thought the tagline on the poster was official and that one is terrible. This one is way better. Effective from an advertising angle (I’m intrigued) but maybe not all that clever or interesting. Still, not bad.)

Keyword(s) – vampire

Top 10: Morbius (2022), Twilight (2008), Doctor Sleep (2019), I Am Legend (2007), Hotel Transylvania: Transformania (2022), Blade (1998), Dracula (1992), The Lost Boys (1987), Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (2010), From Dusk Till Dawn (1996)

Future BMT: 90.0 Vampires Suck (2010), 88.6 BloodRayne (2005), 51.7 Dylan Dog: Dead of Night (2010), 49.9 Sleepwalkers (1992), 47.1 Transylvania 6-5000 (1985), 44.6 Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992), 43.4 Bordello of Blood (1996), 43.0 Underworld: Blood Wars (2016), 40.9 The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (2003), 40.9 Blade: Trinity (2004)

BMT: Morbius (2022), Hellboy (2019), The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009), The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1 (2011), Priest (2011), Vampire Academy (2014), Queen of the Damned (2002), Dracula 2000 (2000), Ultraviolet (2006), Vampire in Brooklyn (1995), Dudley Do-Right (1999)

Matches: Twilight (2008), Blade (1998), Dracula (1992), The Lost Boys (1987), From Dusk Till Dawn (1996), Interview with the Vampire: The Vampire Chronicles (1994), Let Me In (2010), Blade: Trinity (2004), The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2 (2012), Blade II (2002), Underworld (2003), Dark Shadows (2012), The Twilight Saga: Eclipse (2010), Night Teeth (2021), The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones (2013), The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009), Fright Night (2011), Near Dark (1987), Body Double (1984), 30 Days of Night (2007), Underworld: Blood Wars (2016), Fright Night (1985), Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992), Daybreakers (2009), Priest (2011), Vampire Academy (2014), Queen of the Damned (2002), Vampires (1998), Hotel Transylvania 2 (2015), Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (2012), Underworld: Evolution (2006), Underworld: Rise of the Lycans (2009), Dracula 2000 (2000), Ultraviolet (2006), Sleepwalkers (1992), Underworld: Awakening (2012), Embrace of the Vampire (1995), Once Bitten (1985), Vampire’s Kiss (1988), Dracula: Dead and Loving It (1995), Thirst (2009), Shadow of the Vampire (2000), The Little Vampire (2000), A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night (2014), Fright Night Part 2 (1988), BloodRayne (2005), Freaks of Nature (2015), Paris, je t’aime (2006), Vampires Suck (2010), The House Next Door: Meet the Blacks 2 (2021), … (and many more)

(We’ve watched a ton of these over the last two years I think. League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (or as I know it, LXG obvs) has somehow evaded us. It isn’t impossible that that is a Hall of Famer in waiting, that film is hilariously bad.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 10) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Jared Leto is No. 1 billed in Morbius and No. 2 billed in Urban Legend, which also stars Alicia Witt (No. 1 billed) who is in 88 Minutes (No. 2 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (1 + 2) + (1 + 2) + (3 + 1) = 10. There is no shorter path at the moment.

Notes – The name of the cargo ship in the beginning of the movie is Murnau (as in F.W. Murnau, the director of the classic vampire movie ‘Nosferatu’). Like the cargo ship in ‘Nosferatu’, the Murnau arrives in port with its entire crew dead and drained of blood.

The character of Morbius can also be glimpsed in the bonus features of the Blade (1998) DVD, in a deleted ending.

Matt Smith joined the film, after previously turning down other superhero film roles, due to director Daniel Espinosa’s involvement and encouragement from his former Doctor Who co-star Karen Gillan, who portrays Nebula in the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

The New York scenes were actually filmed in Manchester’s Northern Quarter, United Kingdom. All city lights, signs, and license plates were changed to match those found in New York.

In the subway scene, several ads/posters are seen in the background with the names “Thomas & Kane”. An obvious nod to Roy Thomas and Gil Kane, who were the creators of the Marvel superhero Iron Fist.

In the first crime scene, Agent Ramirez states that this was the weirdest crime after “that thing in San Francisco”. This is a reference to Venom. Later in the movie, Morbius states, “I am Venom.”

Leto was rumored for another vampire role, Lestat in Josh Boone’s failed Vampire Chronicles reboot.

Second SSMU film to tie-in to the Marvel Cinematic Universe, after Venom: Let There Be Carnage (2021).

The original cut had Carnage as one of Morbius’ prisoners (before the film was reshuffled and placed eight movies ahead of where it originally was going to be).

The film was set to be released on July 31, 2020 in the United States. But when the coronavirus pandemic began to affect the film industry including attendance at movie theaters, the film’s release was moved to March 19, 2021, January 11, 2021 and finally January 28, 2022. Sony Pictures subsequently began moving their release date for 2020 films to 2021 including another film set in Sony Pictures Universe of Marvel Characters: Venom: Let There Be Carnage from its October 2, 2020 release date to June 25, 2021. Spider-Man: No Way Home, another Marvel film associated with the Marvel Cinematic Universe, was dated for release in the United States on July 16, 2021 to November 5, 2021, and again to December 17, 2021.

One of the key locations in the film is Horizon Labs, where Morbius looks after children with the same blood disorder that he has — while also carrying out his research into curing the condition. But Horizon Labs has been a huge part of the “Spider-Man” comics in the last decade, as Peter Parker worked there during Dan Slott’s run on the character. It’s a place for gifted scientists to work on the most cutting-edge technology and ideas, without the restraints of having to pitch them to a board of directors. Horizon Labs first appears in “Amazing Spider-Man” issue #648, and it’s run by Max Modell, one of Peter’s personal heroes in the scientific community. Morbius also works for Horizon in the comics, and he’s the one who creates a serum that saves everyone in New York when the events of “Spider-Island” turn everyone into giant arachnids. But he’s not the only villain to grace the laboratory’s halls. Otto Octavius, aka Doctor Octopus, also works for the company after he transfers his consciousness into Peter’s brain in “Amazing Spider-Man” issue #700 — and he uses Horizon as a way of developing new technology for his own heroic career. Although don’t worry, non-comic readers, Otto eventually surrendered Peter’s body back to the hero’s consciousness.

J.K. Simmons originally filmed scenes as J. Jonah Jameson for this movie. In the time that elapsed between the film’s original shoot and the production of Spider-Man: No Way Home, it became evident to the filmmakers that Morbius did not actually exist in the same universe as J.K. Simmons’ version of J. Jonah Jameson. As a result, Simmons’ scenes were removed from the film.

MCU fans prefer to think that the Adrian Toomes / Vulture from another universe is a variant and not the one from the MCU despite the confirmation from the director that it’s the same character, given how his character arc was resolved in Spider-Man: Homecoming and how his appearance here undermines it, not to mention how the logic behind his appearance in this universe doesn’t gel with how No Way Home presented the spell.

Walking Tall (2004) Preview

Having agreed that secrets are for sharing and that what is yours is mine (and ours), Young Mikey leads the whole gang over to his house. He seems quite nervous and understandably so. Young Jamie and Patrick explain that they have been less than nice to Mikey in the past. “We were bullies,” Young Jamie says ashamed. Jamie and Patrick remember. Like the time they put cement on his seat at school. “Ha, right. He was stuck there for days,” chuckles Patrick. Or the time they kept swapping his hat for an identical one a size larger. “Until he was convinced he was shrinking,” Jamie says with a snort. Or the time they put a fish in his overalls and the cats from all across town followed him around. “Yeah, and his dad was allergic to cats,” Patrick says, tears now streaming down his face in laughter. “Right, and then his dad was sneezing all the time and it drove his mom crazy so they started fighting and they almost got divorced,” Jamie finishes, his laughter petering out. “But that wasn’t really all that funny at that point.” Patrick nods. “Yeah, not really funny at all actually and they had other stuff going on… like not just the sneezing part… which you have to admit was funny, but not great given the circumstances of their marriage.” By the time they finish contemplating things that are funny (sneezing, cement, etc.) and things that are definitely not funny (fighting, potential divorce, etc.) they arrive at Mikey’s. Mikey flings open his cellar door and the gang gasps. A full blown illegal casino is being operated in the basement. “See, my parents need me to run the craps table tonight,” Mikey says sadly, but Jamie and Patrick are already halfway down the stairs.That’s right! We’re watching another remake of a classic (of sorts) with the early The Rock vehicle, Walking Tall. The original is more like a smash low-budget hit of the 70’s. The remake? Not so much. Let’s go!

Walking Tall (2004) – BMeTric: 23.8; Notability: 54

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 30.4%; Notability: top 10.4%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 25.6%; Higher BMeT: Catwoman, Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2, You Got Served, Torque, Taxi, Soul Plane, Seed of Chucky, Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid, Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen, Thunderbirds, Envy, Godsend, Garfield, Fat Albert, Agent Cody Banks 2: Destination London, Exorcist: The Beginning, Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed, New York Minute, The Stepford Wives, First Daughter, and 56 more; Higher Notability: Shark Tale, Catwoman, The Chronicles of Riddick, Van Helsing, King Arthur, Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed, Alexander, After the Sunset, Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason, Blade: Trinity, She Hate Me, Fat Albert, The Stepford Wives, Man on Fire, Around the World in 80 Days, The Phantom of the Opera, Alien vs. Predator, Along Came Polly, The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement, Meet the Fockers, and 6 more; Lower RT: Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2, Twisted, My Baby’s Daddy, The Whole Ten Yards, Godsend, Yu-Gi-Oh!: The Movie – Pyramid of Light, The Cookout, Christmas with the Kranks, Johnson Family Vacation, Envy, Surviving Christmas, First Daughter, Catwoman, Taxi, House of D, Exorcist: The Beginning, New York Minute, Employee of the Month, A Cinderella Story, Against the Ropes, and 42 more; Notes: I can’t believe this has a 6.3 on IMDb. Really high Notability though … for a film that is like 75 minutes long that is impressive I guess.

RogerEbert.com – 2.0 stars – I didn’t see the original “Walking Tall.” I was “out of town at the time,” I explained in my review of “Part Two Walking Tall.” Sounds reasonable. But I suspect the earlier film was tilted more toward populism and less toward superhero violence than the new “Walking Tall,” which is “dedicated to the memory of Buford Pusser” but turns the story into a cartoon of retribution and revenge.

(It took me a few times of reading this review to realize exactly what Ebert was suggesting. He had never seen the original Walking Tall, but did end up reviewing the sequel. As this was prior to home video to at least some extent Ebert just reviewed the sequel without seeing the original … and now he’s reviewing the remake without (maybe) having (still) ever seen the original. That’s kind of crazy.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=edR_niqKp1Q/

(They are really going for The Rock in the previews, nary a mention of the previous film which I guess for some reason I find interesting. A veritable Who’s Who of early 2000s bad guys though, so that is exciting.)

Directors – Kevin Bray – ( Known For: Linewatch; Future BMT: All About the Benjamins; BMT: Walking Tall; Notes: Directs a ton of television. The Morning Show, The Game, Insecure, Black-ish. There is surprisingly little about him on IMDb, but he hasn’t directed a feature since 2008.)

Writers – Mort Briskin – ( Known For: Walking Tall; The Second Woman; Framed; A Man Alone; The Magic Face; BMT: Walking Tall; Notes: He wrote the original. He died in 2000, four years prior to this release. He also wrote 30 episodes of U.S. Marshal among other things.)

David Klass – ( Known For: Emperor; Future BMT: Desperate Measures; BMT: Kiss the Girls; Walking Tall; Notes: Hasn’t been credited as a writer since 2012, although he is clearly still working as he was a consultant for Between Two Dawns. Was a producer on Law & Order: Criminal Intent.)

Channing Gibson – ( Known For: Lethal Weapon 4; BMT: Walking Tall; Cradle 2 the Grave; Notes: Was exclusively a television writer until Lethal Weapon 4 (writing on things like L.A. Law and NYPD Blue). Was nominated for five Emmys for St. Elsewhere, NYPD Blue, and Murder One. He won for NYPD Blue.)

David Levien and Brian Koppelman – ( Known For: Rounders; Ocean’s Thirteen; Runaway Jury; The Girlfriend Experience; Future BMT: Knockaround Guys; BMT: Walking Tall; Runner Runner; Notes: Famously wrote Rounders and maybe gambled semi-professionally (I don’t remember). Writers on Billions, I mostly know Koppelman for his appearances on the Bill Simmons Podcast.)

Actors – Dwayne Johnson – ( Known For: Free Guy; Red Notice; Jungle Cruise; Moana; Jumanji: The Next Level; Journey 2: The Mysterious Island; Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle; Fighting with My Family; Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw; The Other Guys; Furious 7; Furious 6; The Fate of the Furious; The Mummy Returns; Central Intelligence; Pain & Gain; San Andreas; The Scorpion King; Fast Five; Skyscraper; Future BMT: You Again; Why Did I Get Married Too?; Tooth Fairy; Planet 51; Jem and the Holograms; Reno 911! Miami; BMT: Baywatch; G.I. Joe: Retaliation; The Game Plan; Be Cool; Doom; Walking Tall; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Actor for Doom in 2006; Notes: The Rock! Not quite the last film he was credited as The Rock (that would be Doom). A mega-super-star at this point, but back then he was a mere four years out of bit parts on television shows like Star Trek: Voyager and doing pretty much only WWE stuff.)

Ashley Scott – ( Known For: Jumanji: The Next Level; A.I. Artificial Intelligence; S.W.A.T.; Just Friends; Secret Obsession; The Kingdom; Puff, Puff, Pass; Lost; Future BMT: Into the Blue; 12 Rounds; BMT: Walking Tall; Strange Wilderness; Notes: Incredible she is considered one of the main three actors in this film (uh … where Neil McDonough?). Started as a model, and was married to actor Steve Hart.)

Johnny Knoxville – ( Known For: Mainstream; Polar; Lords of Dogtown; Above Suspicion; The Last Stand; Bad Grandpa; The Ringer; We Summon the Darkness; A Dirty Shame; Big Trouble; Skiptrace; Half Magic; Elvis & Nixon; Small Apartments; Rosy; Father of Invention; Nature Calls; Grand Theft Parsons; Daltry Calhoun; Future BMT: Coyote Ugly; Men in Black II; The Dukes of Hazzard; Action Point; Fun Size; Deuces Wild; BMT: Movie 43; Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles; Walking Tall; Notes: You know Knoxville. Jackass was really how he became famous, another of which (and probably final) came out this weekend. His real last name is Clapp, he was born in Knoxville.)

Budget/Gross – $46,000,000 / Domestic: $46,437,717 (Worldwide: $57,223,890)

(Not really what you want. I’m sure there would have been another one if they could have gotten to maybe $75 million? Instead the series lives on with Kevin Sorbo …)

Rotten Tomatoes – 26% (35/136): The Rock makes a competent hero, but the movie is content to let a 2×4 do all the talking.

(Yeah, and really that isn’t what the original is really about. It is and it isn’t. A huge part of the original was about how his one-man crusade ruined his life in reality. You just know they weren’t going to have that be part of the remake.)

Reviewer Highlight: One mediocre, ploddingly predictable film, loaded down with cheesy Hollywood tactics – Desson Thomson, Washington Post

Poster – Rocking Tall

(No no no no no.. no! No! No!… … … no. No. I don’t accept this. Look at all that white space. No! Look at that dumb font. No no no! No F. It’s an F. I could have made this in high school. The only curiosity here is that The Rock looks like a normal sized human being in it. But otherwise. No!)

Tagline(s) – One man will stand up for what’s right. (D)

(Boooooo. Come on. Sometimes bad posters will have good taglines. This is just generic and not clever and doesn’t even really help with the plot. Oh really? The main character will be the good guy and he’s fighting some bad guys?)

Keyword(s) – sheriff

Top 10: Ghostbusters: Afterlife (2021), Scream (1996), Scream 4 (2011), The Unforgivable (2021), Antlers (2021), Wind River (2017), Halloween Kills (2021), Django Unchained (2012), No Country for Old Men (2007), The Little Things (2021)

Future BMT: 90.0 Vampires Suck (2010), 79.1 Shark Night (2011), 77.9 Jeepers Creepers III (2017), 74.8 Psycho (1998), 70.6 Halloween II (2009), 70.1 Texas Chainsaw (2013), 65.4 Smokey and the Bandit Part 3 (1983), 63.6 The Dukes of Hazzard (2005), 59.5 Witless Protection (2008), 56.7 Robin Hood (2018)

BMT: The Postman (1997), Transformers: The Last Knight (2017), Sweet Home Alabama (2002), Battleship (2012), Friday the 13th (2009), I Am Number Four (2011), Jonah Hex (2010), Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters (2013), Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem (2007), Wild Hogs (2007), House of Wax (2005), Young Guns II (1990), Sleepaway Camp (1983), Walking Tall (2004), Did You Hear About the Morgans? (2009), Halloween II (1981), Friday the 13th: A New Beginning (1985), Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (1988), Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday (1993), Raw Deal (1986), Phantoms (1998), Fire Down Below (1997), Alone in the Dark (2005), Hard Rain (1998), Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 (2000), American Outlaws (2001), Say It Isn’t So (2001), The Odd Couple II (1998), Bats (1999), Here on Earth (2000), Chill Factor (1999)

Matches: Scream 4 (2011), Antlers (2021), The Little Things (2021), True Grit (2010), Den of Thieves (2018), I Spit on Your Grave (2010), First Blood (1982), House of Sand and Fog (2003), Bone Tomahawk (2015), Winter’s Bone (2010), Planet Terror (2007), The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas (1982), Rango (2011), The Silencing (2020), Robin Hood (2018), Robin Hood: Men in Tights (1993), Red Headed Stranger (1986), The Dukes of Hazzard (2005), Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem (2007), The Gift (2000), 30 Days of Night (2007), Cop Land (1997), The Devil’s Rejects (2005), Premonition (2007), Walking Tall (2004), The Last Stand (2013), Life (1999), Powder (1995), Heaven’s Gate (1980), Leap of Faith (1992), The Kid (2019), Shimmer Lake (2017), … (and many more)

(Ah Jeepers Creepers III, the film I will never watch for BMT. I’ll stick with things like Smokey and the Bandit Part 3.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 10) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Neal McDonough is No. 3 billed in Walking Tall and No. 3 billed in Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li, which also stars Chris Klein (No. 2 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 2 billed) => (3 + 3) + (2 + 2) = 10. There is no shorter path at the moment.

Notes – At the beginning when Chris Vaughn asks the sheriff what happened to the former sheriff it is said that the guy was a great man but they found one day he had mysteriously skidded off a deserted road and died hitting a tree. This is a reference to how the real Buford Pusser died.

Johnny Knoxville executed co-star Dwayne Johnson’s signature WWE finisher, “The People’s Elbow”

Dwayne Johnson’s stunt double in this movie was his cousin Tanoai Reed. (I think that’s his longtime stunt double).

Debut movie of Cobie Smulders. (She shows up for about 5 seconds and doesn’t say anything)

The film takes place in Kitsap County, Washington. The Kitsap Penninsula is across Puget Sound from Seattle, and is home to both the Bremerton Naval Shipyards and the Bangor Submarine Base. A large part of the population are military personnel. The movie was actually filmed in Squamish, B.C. The opening scene was filmed on the Bowen Island ferry to Horseshoe Bay

As a young man, Buford Pusser, the real-life sheriff who this remake is based upon, wrestled professionally across the South as “Buford the Bull”. Dwayne Johnson, who plays the character inspired by him, began his acting career as a professional wrestler.

Yours, Mine & Ours (2005) Preview

“These mashed potatoes are delicious, Mom… er… I mean, Young Jamie and Patrick’s Mom,” Jamie says enthusiastically, mashed potatoes falling from his mouth. Having dined with their younger selves, Patrick and Jamie are counting the minutes until their next unexpected obstacle presents itself. A serial killer? Perhaps a pumpkinhead or a phantom of the opera? Hopefully not a lawnmower man, the scariest of all the spooky Halloween fiends. They jump at the sound of a knock at the door. “That must be Mikey,” Young Jamie says with glee and rushes from the table. Before they can stop him, he opens the door and… phew, Jamie and Patrick stop themselves just in time, inches from cracking an innocent child with a mean Twin Chop (patent pending). The kid looks like a total nerd alert in his clown costume and to think, they were worried about little Mikey from around the block. Mikey seems nervous. “You guys invited me over?” he asks tentatively, “but I’m sure it was just a mistake,” he finishes quietly. Young Jamie and Patrick look back at their older selves and shake their heads. “No it wasn’t a mistake,” says Jamie. Patrick agrees, “It’s just that we’ve realized that we’ve been a couple of big ol’ lame-o jerks.” They clap Mikey on the shoulder and ask if he wants to go trick-or-treating with them tonight. Jamie and Patrick’s hearts melt. Turns out there was nothing to worry about after all, just a heartwarming story of friendship. Mikey beams, but then looks nervous again. “I don’t think I can,” he says sadly. Sensing something off, Jamie and Patrick ask what’s wrong and remind him that secrets are for sharing. Young Jamie agrees. “Now that we’re best buds, what’s yours is mine… it’s ours!” That’s right! We are jumping right to Yours, Mine & Ours. It’s basically The Brady Bunch times a thousand and is based on a 60’s film that was much better received than this remake that everyone was definitely asking for. The weirdest thing about watching this now is that the original film happens to also play a minor role in current Academy Award hopeful Licorice Pizza (or as the kids call it Licorice Za). So pretty timely stuff. Let’s go!

Yours, Mine & Ours (2005) – BMeTric: 45.4; Notability: 48

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 16.8%; Notability: top 12.8%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 2.4%; Higher BMeT: Son of the Mask, Alone in the Dark, BloodRayne, The Fog, The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl 3-D, xXx: State of the Union, Boogeyman, Elektra, Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo, Bewitched, A Sound of Thunder, Are We There Yet?, The Crow: Wicked Prayer, The Dukes of Hazzard, The Honeymooners, Stealth, Cursed, Doom, Dirty Love, Miss Congeniality 2: Armed & Fabulous, and 22 more; Higher Notability: The Island, Fantastic Four, Kingdom of Heaven, Bewitched, Domino, Be Cool, Fun with Dick and Jane, xXx: State of the Union, Memoirs of a Geisha, Chicken Little, The Longest Yard, The Great Raid, Son of the Mask, Miss Congeniality 2: Armed & Fabulous, Stealth, Cursed, The Ring Two, Flightplan, The Dukes of Hazzard, Æon Flux, and 12 more; Lower RT: The Crow: Wicked Prayer, Alone in the Dark, BloodRayne, The Fog, Chaos, Supercross; Notes: Mid-5.0 is where I would expect it. Oh ho ho, so this is just a shade better than Supercross … well, I’ll be the judge of that.

RogerEbert.com – 1.5 stars – ‘Yours, Mine & Ours” has one thing to be thankful for: Frank and Helen realize immediately that they’re still in love, all these years after they were the prom king and queen in high school. They see each other, they dance, they talk while dancing, they kiss while talking, and in the next scene, they’re engaged to be married. That saves us the Idiot Plot device in which they’re destined for each other, but are kept apart by a series of misunderstandings. In this version, they’re brought together by a series of misunderstandings, mostly on the part of the filmmakers, who thought they could remake the 1968 Henry Fonda-Lucille Ball film without its sweetness and charm.

(Having seen the original that seems like a dire warning. The only thing the original film had was sweetness and charm. There wasn’t even really a plot, it was pure sweetness and charm.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ct37x6Fhbx0/

(Thanks I hate it. I guess I kind of see what they were going for … it is Nickelodeon Studios so they are looking for something that will entertain kids in like fourth grade and they need some IP for that purpose. What’s better for pratfalls than a ton of children?)

Directors – Raja Gosnell – ( Known For: Never Been Kissed; Beverly Hills Chihuahua; Future BMT: Scooby-Doo; Home Alone 3; Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed; The Smurfs; The Smurfs 2; BMT: Big Momma’s House; Yours, Mine & Ours; Show Dogs; Notes: Was originally a pretty big editor, but transitioned to directing in 1996. Still does, he’s attached as the director to the new Santa movie, Santa: The Adventure Begins, which I think I heard of on a podcast.)

Writers – Ron Burch and David Kidd – ( Known For: Ferdinand; BMT: Yours, Mine & Ours; Head Over Heels; Notes: Were nominated for an Emmy for helping to write a song in the show The Closer. They produced and wrote on Dinotrux.)

Melville Shavelson – ( Known For: Yours, Mine and Ours; Houseboat; A New Kind of Love; Wonder Man; Room for One More; Cast a Giant Shadow; April in Paris; On Moonlight Bay; It Started in Naples; The Paleface; The Five Pennies; The Princess and the Pirate; The War Between Men and Women; Trouble Along the Way; The Kid from Brooklyn; It’s a Great Feeling; I’ll See You in My Dreams; Sorrowful Jones; The Daughter of Rosie O’Grady; The Seven Little Foys; BMT: Yours, Mine & Ours; Notes: One of the original writers. Was nominated for two Oscars, for Houseboat and Jack Rose. Was president of the Writers Guild on multiple occasions.)

Mort Lachman – ( Known For: Yours, Mine and Ours; Call Me Bwana; Mixed Company; BMT: Yours, Mine & Ours; Notes: Again, credited for the original. Was nominated for six Emmys (three for Kate & Allie, and three for All in the Family), and won one (for All in the Family))

Madelyn Davis and Bob Carroll Jr. – ( Known For: Yours, Mine and Ours; I Love Lucy; BMT: Yours, Mine & Ours; Notes: They were nominated for three Emmys (for I Love Lucy and Here’s Lucy), so they knew Lucille Ball, which explains why they wrote on the original film.)

Actors – Dennis Quaid – ( Known For: American Underdog; Midway; The Day After Tomorrow; Stripes; The Parent Trap; Traffic; Any Given Sunday; Footloose; Soul Surfer; A Dog’s Journey; The Right Stuff; I Can Only Imagine; DragonHeart; Innerspace; Frequency; Breaking Away; The Long Riders; Enemy Mine; Blue Miracle; Smart People; Future BMT: G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra; Wyatt Earp; Legion; Pandorum; Kin; The Words; Vantage Point; The Alamo; Flight of the Phoenix; Cold Creek Manor; Something to Talk About; Undercover Blues; Switchback; American Dreamz; BMT: Movie 43; Jaws 3-D; A Dog’s Purpose; What to Expect When You’re Expecting; Yours, Mine & Ours; The Intruder; Playing for Keeps; Notes: Nominated for an Emmy for playing Bill Clinton in The Special Relationship. The younger brother of Randy Quaid who had already established a career in Hollywood when he moved there after dropping out of the University of Houston.)

Rene Russo – ( Known For: Avengers: Endgame; Thor; Thor: The Dark World; Nightcrawler; The Intern; Major League; The Thomas Crown Affair; Lethal Weapon 3; Lethal Weapon 4; Outbreak; Ransom; In the Line of Fire; Velvet Buzzsaw; Get Shorty; Tin Cup; Big Trouble; The Adventures of Rocky & Bullwinkle; Frank and Cindy; Future BMT: Two for the Money; Showtime; Major League II; Just Getting Started; Mr. Destiny; One Good Cop; Buddy; BMT: Yours, Mine & Ours; Freejack; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Supporting Actress for The Adventures of Rocky & Bullwinkle in 2001; Notes: Met her husband Dan Gilroy on the set of recent BMT film Freejack. Apparently wore a brace for scoliosis in junior high.)

Jerry O’Connell – ( Known For: Scream 2; Stand by Me; Jerry Maguire; Piranha 3D; Can’t Hardly Wait; The Secret: Dare to Dream; Veronica Mars; Satanic Panic; Lies and Alibis; Buying the Cow; Reign of the Supermen; Body Shots; Space Station 76; Man About Town; Room 6; Deep Murder; Fat Slags; Baby on Board; The Lookalike; Future BMT: Obsessed; The New Guy; Tomcats; Mission to Mars; Wish Upon; Joe’s Apartment; Calendar Girl; BMT: Scary Movie V; Yours, Mine & Ours; Kangaroo Jack; Police Academy 5: Assignment: Miami Beach; Notes: Married Rebecca Romijn in 2007 and had twins girls in 2008. Apparently the first male host of CBS’ The Talk.)

Budget/Gross – $45,000,000 / Domestic: $53,412,862 (Worldwide: $72,662,923)

(Actually not half bad. I would have guessed this was an enormous bomb, but this is actually not horrible.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 6% (6/107): The initial set-up is unbelievable, the plotting is predictable and stale, and the comedy depends on repetitive pratfalls that soon get old.

(wowza less than 10% is hugely impressive for a film like this. And over 100 reviews? The critics just hated this thing!)

Reviewer Highlight: So snug, airtight and insulated from reality that the nice, well-scrubbed Cheaper by the Dozen seems almost rambunctious by comparison. – Stephen Holden, New York Times

Poster – Sklogs, Sklogs & Sklogs

(My least favorite genre of modern posters. In the 80’s this would have been hand drawn in a Meatball’s kind of way and for some reason that’s more palatable. With actual pictures of people it has far too much white space, the colors aren’t consistent and it generally looks bad. But OK font and fine spacing rescue it a little. C-)

Tagline(s) – 18 kids, one house, no way. (A)

Rock the house! (F)

(You gotta give a classic it’s due. That first tagline is short, is a classic rule of three, and gives a clear idea of the specific plot. Some question of cleverness, but it’s playing with numbers, so I think fair enough. The second is funny in a sad way. Made only sadder by its positioning near the photoshopped picture of a pig eating a pizza below Rene Russo’s legs.)

Keyword(s) – widower

Top 10: The King’s Man (2021), Scream (1996), Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings (2021), The Karate Kid (1984), Avengers: Endgame (2019), Pig (2021), Interstellar (2014), Once Upon a Time… In Hollywood (2019), Ron’s Gone Wrong (2021), Inception (2010)

Future BMT: 76.9 Superhero Movie (2008), 63.1 Underdog (2007), 57.5 I Don’t Know How She Does It (2011), 56.2 Ghost Dad (1990), 50.3 Racing Stripes (2005), 49.7 Just Married (2003), 48.4 White Noise (2005), 46.5 Winchester (2018), 45.6 A Kid in King Arthur’s Court (1995), 44.6 The Rhythm Section (2020)

BMT: Independence Day: Resurgence (2016), Countdown (2019), When in Rome (2010), Blended (2014), Warcraft (2016), Fantasy Island (2020), The 5th Wave (2016), Death Wish (2018), Elektra (2005), A Walk to Remember (2002), Thir13en Ghosts (2001), The Choice (2016), Into the Storm (2014), Safe Haven (2013), Zoolander 2 (2016), Color of Night (1994), I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry (2007), Max Payne (2008), Alex Cross (2012), Texas Rangers (2001), Yours, Mine & Ours (2005), The Intruder (2019), Universal Soldier: The Return (1999), Are We Done Yet? (2007), I Dreamed of Africa (2000), September Dawn (2007)

Matches: The Nice Guys (2016), Rebecca (2020), Sleepless in Seattle (1993), The Constant Gardener (2005), My Girl (1991), Babel (2006), Nanny McPhee (2005), Safe Haven (2013), Dan in Real Life (2007), Fathers & Daughters (2015), Dead Silence (2007), Hide and Seek (2005), Jersey Girl (2004), Arlington Road (1999), Smart People (2008), This Beautiful Fantastic (2016), Mission to Mars (2000), Return to Me (2000), Yours, Mine & Ours (2005), The Intruder (2019), Our Souls at Night (2017), Ghost Dad (1990), Everybody’s Fine (2009), Underdog (2007), Dog Days (2018), Love Happens (2009), Mother and Child (2009), Martian Child (2007), Out to Sea (1997), … and many more.

(That might be a genuine 2008 dip! Sometimes it is just because less films were being made around there, but I could genuinely see Hollywood thinking no one wants to hear about widowers during an international financial collapse.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 19) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Dennis Quaid is No. 1 billed in Yours, Mine & Ours and No. 1 billed in The Intruder, which also stars Meagan Good (No. 2 billed) who is in The Love Guru (No. 5 billed) which also stars Jessica Alba (No. 2 billed) who is in Mechanic: Resurrection (No. 2 billed) which also stars Jason Statham (No. 1 billed) who is in In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (No. 1 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (1 + 1) + (2 + 5) + (2 + 2) + (1 + 1) + (3 + 1) = 19. If we were to watch American Dreamz we can get the HoE Number down to 10.

Notes – Drake Bell and Miranda Cosgrove played brother and sister in the Nickelodeon kid’s show, Drake & Josh (2004).

The party band in the movie is a Christian alternative rock band called Hawk Nelson.

Danielle Panabaker originally tried to get the part of Christina but was changed back and forth and eventually got the part of Phoebe because of her resemblance to Rene Russo.

The house the Beardsley family is moving into in the beginning of the film is the same house the Banks family lives in in the 1991 remake of Father of the Bride.

In the 1968 original film, Frank Beardsley (portrayed by Henry Fonda) was an active duty US Navy Chief Warrant Officer (a rank between commissioned officers and non-commissioned officers, usually granted to expert technical specialists with extensive experience), while in this remake, Frank Beardsley is a US Coast Guard Rear Admiral.

When Mrs. Munion is relaxing in her room, she is watching WWE Royal Rumble 2005. As Dylan wakes up, he has a WWE Magazine over his head.

Nominees for Commandant must be approved by Congress after appearing before House and Senate committees.

This was the first film to be co-produced by Paramount Pictures and Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer. The original 1968 film was produced by Desilu Productions, which merged with Paramount the year before, so the film’s copyright was renewed by Paramount. However, United Artists (owned by MGM since 1981) has retained full distribution rights to the 1968 film to this day. Columbia Pictures became involved once its parent company, Sony, purchased a stake in MGM.

Head Over Heels Preview

Jamie and Patrick quake in fear as they prepare to face the devil himself on the other side of the door to their apartment. They should have anticipated this problem. With the power that the Dongle possesses, no wonder even the devil wants to get his claws on it. Jamie swings the door wide and Patrick leaps forth with a silver cross in one hand and spraying holy water with the other. Hardscrabble reporter Lindsey Appleton sputters, drenched in holy water. “What the hell, guys? My pants suit is ruined. And here I was bringing you a six pack of delicious Coca-Cola to jazz up another night of protecting the Dongle!” Kyle quickly enters with an apology and shakes his head sadly as he escorts Lindsey and the delicious Coca-Cola to the other room. Jamie is aghast. “Delicious Coca-Cola, Patrick? Soft pretzels? Kyle is having the time of his life at our expense because you simply can’t accept that the Dongle is safe even for a moment.” Patrick stares at the cityscape spread out in front of him. Perhaps they were right. Perhaps he just needed to relax about the whole Dongle business and get back to living his life. “I’m sorry, Jamie. We may not have delicious Coca-Cola or soft pretzels at our fingertips, but we always have this,” and with that he holds up their well worn Here on Earth DVD. Jamie smiles and breaks out the popping corn. But before those kernels can get a-poppin’, Kyle reappears. Blushing, he asks them to apologize to Lindsey and invite her back. “It’s just that… tonight was gonna be a big night for me and Rachel. I’m talking L-O-V-E and I need some advice.” Jamie and Patrick nod and sit him down in front of HoE just in time. That’s right! It’s not HoE (unfortunately) but it’s a Freddie Prinze Jr. joint, so nothing to sniff at. It’s the 20 year anniversary of the release of Head Over Heels… you know, the one where Freddie Prinze Jr. smirks and is a really good guy even though he looks like he should be a really terrible guy? Yeah, that one. Let’s go!

Head Over Heels (2001) – BMeTric: 40.1; Notability: 38

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 14.8%; Notability: top 19.6%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 5.0%; Higher BMeT: Glitter, Jason X, Freddy Got Fingered, Driven, The Animal, Ghosts of Mars, Black Knight, Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles, Soul Survivors, Valentine, Monkeybone, Corky Romano, Scary Movie 2, The Musketeer, The Wedding Planner, Bones, Say It Isn’t So, The Order, Summer Catch, The Wash, and 17 more; Higher Notability: Pearl Harbor, Monkeybone, Lara Croft: Tomb Raider, Hannibal, Impostor, Ghosts of Mars, Not Another Teen Movie, Bubble Boy, Swordfish, 15 Minutes, Town & Country, The One, Scary Movie 2, The Affair of the Necklace, I Am Sam, America’s Sweethearts, Along Came a Spider, Perfume, Joe Dirt, The Animal, and 29 more; Lower RT: The Order, Texas Rangers, Soul Survivors, Glitter, All the Queen’s Men, Corky Romano, The Forsaken, Summer Catch, The Wash, Out Cold, Say It Isn’t So, Megiddo: The Omega Code 2; Notes: Man, we have a ton of really bad 2001 films left don’t we. Mid-5.0 on IMDb is pretty high, much higher than I would have expected for this.

RogerEbert.com – 1.5 stars – “Head Over Heels” opens with 15 funny minutes and then goes dead in the water. It’s like they sent home the first team of screenwriters and brought in Beavis and Butt-Head. The movie starts out with sharp wit and edgy zingers, switches them off and turns to bathroom humor. And not funny bathroom humor, but painfully phony gas-passing noises, followed by a plumbing emergency that buries three supermodels in a putrid delivery from where the sun don’t shine. It’s as if the production was a fight to the death between bright people with a sense of humor, and cretins who think the audience is as stupid as they are. …It isn’t funny when innocent bystanders are humiliated. It’s funny when they humiliate themselves. For example, “Head Over Heels” would be funny if it were about the people making this movie.

(Huh, that is a lot different than I expected. A solid first 15 minutes? Bathroom humor? None of the trailer really suggests this at all. Very interesting.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lrnGD7JN2KE

(Wow, a very brief Olyphant cameo. The story seems insane. So I assume the story is one of two things. First, he’s a secret agent or cop or something and that is why he is “murdering” people. Second, it is a mafia story basically, and he’s trying to extract himself from that world and having difficulties. I’m on tenterhooks as to which it is.)

Directors – Mark Waters – ( Known For: Mean Girls; He’s All That; The Spiderwick Chronicles; Freaky Friday; Just Like Heaven; Mr. Popper’s Penguins; Magic Camp; The House of Yes; Future BMT: Bad Santa 2; BMT: Vampire Academy; Ghosts of Girlfriends Past; Head Over Heels; Notes: Married to actress Dina Spybey-Waters and the brother of writer Daniel Waters. I’ll say it again: give these three a chance to write/direct/star in a film. I want to see it!)

Writers – John J. Strauss – ( Known For: The Santa Clause 2; There’s Something About Mary; The Lizzie McGuire Movie; Future BMT: The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause; Free Birds; The Wild; Rebound; BMT: Head Over Heels; Notes: Produced a lot of television these days, including Mozart in the Jungle. Writing a Chinese film called Noodles at the moment.)

Ed Decter – ( Known For: The Santa Clause 2; There’s Something About Mary; The Lizzie McGuire Movie; Future BMT: The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause; The Wild; Rebound; BMT: Head Over Heels; Notes: Most recently created the show Shadowhunters. Also was the director for The New Guy.)

David Kidd and Ron Burch – ( Known For: Ferdinand; Future BMT: Yours, Mine & Ours; BMT: Head Over Heels; Notes: Nominated for an Emmy for Best Original Song for The Closer starring Tom Selleck. The song was called You Don’t Know Jack. They also wrote the Dinotrux television show.)

Actors – Monica Potter – ( Known For: Con Air; Saw; The Last House on the Left; Without Limits; I’m with Lucy; Lower Learning; A Cool, Dry Place; The Very Thought of You; Heaven or Vegas; Future BMT: Patch Adams; Bulletproof; BMT: Along Came a Spider; Head Over Heels; Notes: It is claimed that her father invented the first flame-resistant car wax. She’s from Cleveland, and now mostly does television like Wisdom of the Crowd.)

Freddie Prinze Jr. – ( Known For: Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker; She’s All That; The House of Yes; Brooklyn Rules; Jack and Jill vs. the World; The Reef; New York City Serenade; Future BMT: Scooby-Doo; Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed; Boys and Girls; Happily N’Ever After; Delgo; To Gillian on Her 37th Birthday; BMT: I Know What You Did Last Summer; I Still Know What You Did Last Summer; Summer Catch; Down to You; Head Over Heels; Wing Commander; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Supporting Actor for Scooby-Doo in 2003; Notes: Does a ton of voice work these days (including as Kanan Jarrus in Star Wars which is why he’s credited in the ninth film). You of course know him as the best friend of Matthew Lillard.)

Shalom Harlow – ( Known For: How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days; Kate & Leopold; In & Out; The Salton Sea; Game 6; Melinda and Melinda; I Love Your Work; Happy Here and Now; BMT: Vanilla Sky; Head Over Heels; Notes: Apparently a huge model, she was worth about $10 million in 1998.)

Budget/Gross – $14,000,000 / Domestic: $10,424,470 (Worldwide: $13,127,022)

(Wow, that is catastrophic! Really really bad stuff. And not even on a particularly high budget either.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 10% (9/89): Head Over Heels is being blasted by critics as a huge mess. The plot and jokes are idiotic, while the toilet humor is gratuitous and more gross than funny.

(There it is again! The trailer is very deceptive. It wants to present itself as a witty romantic comedy mostly surrounding the fashion world. But apparently it is just all gross out humor? Bizarre.)

Reviewer Highlight: With each rewrite, it seems, things grew fouler, duller and more idiotic. – Rita Kempley, Washington Post

Poster – Freddie Prinze Jr’s Love Patrol

(Woof. And not just because they give Freddie’s doggie a outsized place on the poster. This is ahead of its time in that it mimics what would become the classic Diane Keaton style of poster. The poster separated into strips of space, no consistent color scheme, and bad font. The Full Keaton. D)

Tagline(s) – Four supermodel roommates. One regular girl. The guy next door doesn’t stand a chance. (D)

Unleash your inner model. (C)

(That second one is really digging deep for a movie that theoretically no one would have seen when they first read the tagline. It’s wordplay on the relatively minor detail about Freddie Prinze Jr. having a large dog that he can’t control. I kinda love it for how nonsensical it is. The first one is somehow worse just for length and the fact that it is not clever in the least.)

Keyword(s) – roommate

Top 10: After (2019), Eyes Wide Shut (1999), Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (2010), Anna (2019), Pitch Perfect (2012), La La Land (2016), School of Rock (2003), I, Tonya (2017), Pretty Woman (1990), The Terminator (1984)

Future BMT: 71.2 Supergirl (1984), 54.3 The Green Inferno (2013), 51.9 Loser (2000), 50.7 Abandon (2002), 47.8 The Wash (2001), 46.4 On the Line (2001), 45.7 Monster-in-Law (2005), 44.4 Boys and Girls (2000), 43.6 Life of the Party (2018), 37.4 If Lucy Fell (1996)

BMT: After (2019), Police Academy (1984), Burlesque (2010), Vampire Academy (2014), The Sweetest Thing (2002), Urban Legend (1998), I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (1998), Failure to Launch (2006), Little Nicky (2000), Confessions of a Shopaholic (2009), Made of Honor (2008), Fifty Shades of Black (2016), The Prince and Me (2004), Table 19 (2017), Chairman of the Board (1997), Head Over Heels (2001)

Matches: La La Land (2016), Rent (2005), Shaun of the Dead (2004), Girl, Interrupted (1999), Spenser Confidential (2020), Big Daddy (1999), Three Men and a Baby (1987), Zack and Miri Make a Porno (2008), Tootsie (1982), Grandma’s Boy (2006), Single White Female (1992), The Sweetest Thing (2002), Class (1983), Everybody Wants Some!! (2016), Failure to Launch (2006), Reign Over Me (2007), Life of the Party (2018), Wristcutters: A Love Story (2006), Fifty Shades of Black (2016), Starry Eyes (2014), A Million Little Pieces (2018), Prozac Nation (2001), Loser (2000), Going the Distance (2010), Loverboy (1989), Poison Ivy II (1996), Someone Like You (2001), The Wash (2001), Annapolis (2006), Premium Rush (2012), Dead Man on Campus (1998), Jenny’s Wedding (2015), Smiley Face (2007), Chairman of the Board (1997), The Guilty (2000), Kaboom (2010), Head Over Heels (2001), For a Good Time, Call… (2012), … and more

(There weren’t any good keywords from the plot it seemed. I went with this. I’m excited for Monster-in-Law mostly I think. The exact match with Rent is fun.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 16) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Freddie Prinze Jr. is No. 2 billed in Head Over Heels and No. 1 billed in Wing Commander, which also stars Matthew Lillard (No. 3 billed) who is in In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (No. 6 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (2 + 1) + (3 + 6) + (3 + 1) = 16. If we were to watch Patch Adams, Jack, and The Glass House we can get the HoE Number down to 11.

Notes – Amanda’s character has symptoms of Stendhal Syndrome, a condition where seeing a beautiful piece of art or something particularly pleasing to the eye can cause symptoms including dizziness and fainting.

Shalom Harlow has said that she used to live in an environment much like the one Jade, Roxanna, Candi, Holly, and Amanda live in.

Claire Danes was originally set to play the lead role of Amanda Pierce, but dropped out at the last moment. Monica Potter, who’d already been signed on for a smaller role, was moved into Amanda’s part as a result.

Freddie Prinze Jr. was the 1st choice for the role of Jim Winston, with it written for him.

Shalom Harlow, Sarah O’Hare and Tomiko Fraser were real-life models, before getting cast in this film.

Mark Waters used classic films such as “The Philadelphia Story” and “His Girl Friday” as templates for the story.

The film was shot in Vancouver and New York, with the former serving as the substitute for famous New York landmarks such as Stanley Park for Central Park, and their aquarium which had rare Beluga whales.