The Twilight Saga: New Moon Preview

As Rich and Poe walk down the hallway with the teacher, Ms. Halloway, they wonder what they’ve gotten themselves into. If this was a The Substitute scenario they should be bashing skulls and taking names by now. “Maybe we’re missing a crime… a murder to solve?” Poe ponders. Ah, a The Substitute 2: School’s Out scenario… definitely possible, Rich agrees. “You know we can stop this ruse, right?” Ms. Halloway says behind them. They slowly turn and attempt to sputter out an excuse, but Ms. Halloway just smirks and flips open a badge. “Det. Halloway, BMTPD. You boys are a little late to the party.” What a twist! But how could she have seen through their bulletproof nerd alert disguises. “Well, you are both forty years old,” she explains, “and as a cop it was easy to connect the dots from there.” Clever girl. “I’ve been working undercover on the case for two years and you two stroll in and nearly blow the whole thing on day one. Lucky for you I know these kids and I know what they want.” Rich and Poe’s hearts leap, perhaps this is the break they need. “Love.” Rich is deflated. Love is lame. What about bashing skulls? What about patented Twin Chops, backflips, and abs. Pffff. Love. But Poe’s eyes are shining and he steps closer to Ms. Halloway. “What if I told you I know a little something about that.” He steps even closer. “You ever heard of a book called The Platonic Solids Series Part I: Outside the Box?” he asks breathily, inches from Ms. Halloways quivering lips. “It’s… it’s my favorite book,” she replies in a whisper, her bosom heaving and breath bated in anticipation. And with that they begin to make out… hard. That’s right! We are finally dipping our toes in the mother of all teen love triangle romances with the second Twilight film The Twilight Saga: New Moon. This is also one of only two qualifying films. So we are leaving the series hanging, but hopefully not for long. I’m ready for the steamy vampire-werewolf romance extravaganza. Let’s go!

The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009) – BMeTric: 78.1; Notability: 63 

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(Quite intriguing how low that is. I assume that is mostly because of the demographics of the people who vote on IMDb. I remember this movie mostly just being boring. That doesn’t feel sub-5.0 to be, but we’ll see.)

RogerEbert.com – 1.0 stars – The characters in this movie should be arrested for loitering with intent to moan. Never have teenagers been in greater need of a jump-start. Granted some of them are more than 100 years old, but still: their charisma is by Madame Tussaud.

(Ooooooo, so maybe it is just so boring that it ends up being really really terrible! Because one star is really really low as well. This is precisely how I remember this.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BNi-ebCWXos/

(Oh, I love you so much Bella. Oh, I love you so much Edward. Let’s die together, that would be super romantical wouldn’t it? Oh … that’s my impression of Twilight. Nailed it.)

Directors – Chris Weitz – (Known For: American Pie; The Golden Compass; Operation Finale; About a Boy; A Better Life; Future BMT: Down to Earth; BMT: The Twilight Saga: New Moon; Notes: Nominated for an Oscar for About a Boy. Apparently he was uncredited on American Pie, presumably because he was just helping his older brother to direct it.)

Writers – Melissa Rosenberg (screenplay) – (Known For: Twilight; The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2; The Twilight Saga: Eclipse; Future BMT: The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1; Step Up; BMT: The Twilight Saga: New Moon; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Screenplay in 2010 for The Twilight Saga: New Moon; in 2011 for The Twilight Saga: Eclipse; in 2012 for The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1; and in 2013 for The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2; Notes: Wrote the entire series. A legend of television, she produced and wrote on Melrose Place, The O.C., and Dexter among many many others.)

Stephenie Meyer (novel) – (Known For: Twilight; The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2; The Twilight Saga: Eclipse; Future BMT: The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1; BMT: The Twilight Saga: New Moon; The Host; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Screenplay for The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2 in 2013; Notes: Wrote the novels. Apparently the idea for the storyline came to her in a dream, the idea of a vampire being in love with a human woman while thirsting for her blood.)

Actors – Kristen Stewart – (Known For: Charlie’s Angels; Underwater; Twilight; Into the Wild; The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2; Snow White and the Huntsman; Zathura: A Space Adventure; American Ultra; Panic Room; The Twilight Saga: Eclipse; Adventureland; Still Alice; Cafe Society; The Runaways; On the Road; Personal Shopper; Certain Women; Billy Lynn’s Long Halftime Walk; J.T. LeRoy; Clouds of Sils Maria; Future BMT: The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas; The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1; Cold Creek Manor; The Messengers; Catch That Kid; Equals; Seberg; Cell K-11; Anesthesia; Fierce People; BMT: The Twilight Saga: New Moon; Jumper; Razzie Notes: Winner for Worst Actress in 2013 for Snow White and the Huntsman, and The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2; Nominee for Worst Actress, and Worst Screen Couple for The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1 in 2012; Nominee for Worst Actress for The Twilight Saga: Eclipse in 2011; and Nominee for Worst Screen Couple in 2010 for The Twilight Saga: New Moon; and in 2013 for The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2; Notes: Notably had an affair with the director Rupert Sanders, which caused her initial breakup with Robert Pattinson. She is bisexual and has mostly been in relationships with women recently.)

Robert Pattinson – (Known For: The Lighthouse; The King; Good Time; Twilight; Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire; The Lost City of Z; The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2; High Life; Waiting for the Barbarians; The Twilight Saga: Eclipse; Vanity Fair; Water for Elephants; The Rover; Maps to the Stars; Cosmopolis; Damsel; Life; The Childhood of a Leader; Future BMT: The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1; Bel Ami; Queen of the Desert; Little Ashes; BMT: The Twilight Saga: New Moon; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Actor in 2011 for Remember Me, and The Twilight Saga: Eclipse; and in 2013 for The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2; Nominee for Worst Supporting Actor, and Worst Screen Couple for The Twilight Saga: New Moon in 2010; and Nominee for Worst Screen Couple in 2012 for The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1; and in 2013 for The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2; Notes: He is going to be The Batman. During his entire Twilight period he would have amusing interviews where he would appear bemused about the various odd storylines from the film, look them up.)

Taylor Lautner – (Known For: Twilight; The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2; The Twilight Saga: Eclipse; Future BMT: The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl 3-D; The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1; Tracers; Run the Tide; BMT: The Twilight Saga: New Moon; The Ridiculous 6; Abduction; Grown Ups 2; Cheaper by the Dozen 2; Valentine’s Day; Razzie Notes: Winner for Worst Supporting Actor, and Worst Screen Couple for The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2 in 2013; Nominee for Worst Actor in 2011 for The Twilight Saga: Eclipse, and Valentine’s Day; and in 2012 for Abduction, and The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1; Nominee for Worst Supporting Actor for Grown Ups 2 in 2014; and Nominee for Worst Screen Couple in 2010 for The Twilight Saga: New Moon; and in 2012 for The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1; Notes: Been moving more into prestige television recently, specifically was in Cuckoo for the past several years.)

Budget/Gross – $50,000,000 / Domestic: $297,816,253 (Worldwide: $711,020,081)

(Obviously, a huge success. One of the most successful series in cinema history. Single-handedly made vampires a huge thing again.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 28% (64/227): The Twilight Saga’s second installment may satisfy hardcore fans of the series, but outsiders are likely to be turned off by its slow pace, relentlessly downcast tone, and excessive length.

(This is what I remember. Just Bella moping about depressed for an hour and a half. Reviewer Highlight: The boys preen while the girl sulks. And pouts. And sulks. And pouts. – Richard Roeper, RichardRoeper.com)

Poster – The Platonic Solids Series Part 2: Love on the Blocks (C)

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(Gonna be honest. I don’t really like that. The colors are drab and otherwise just the usually human mess. Some OK font, but even the spacing seems off. Like there is too much space around them.)

Tagline(s) – The Next Chapter Begins (F)

(Blah, boo. Give me something more than that. I spent more time thinking up the “Love on the Blocks” subtitle for the fake second book of our fake teen romance series.)

Keyword – vampire

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Top 10: Doctor Sleep (2019), Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (2010), Twilight (2008), The Lost Boys (1987), I Am Legend (2007), Hellboy (2019), From Dusk Till Dawn (1996), Bram Stoker’s Dracula (1992), Underworld: Blood Wars (2016), The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2 (2012)

Future BMT: 89.4 Vampires Suck (2010), 87.9 BloodRayne (2005), 72.2 The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1 (2011), 51.1 Dylan Dog: Dead of Night (2010), 48.6 Sleepwalkers (1992), 43.9 Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992), 43.8 Priest (2011), 42.2 Transylvania 6-5000 (1985), 41.8 Bordello of Blood (1996), 40.8 The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (2003);

BMT: Hellboy (2019), The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009), Vampire Academy (2014), Queen of the Damned (2002), Dracula 2001 (2000), Ultraviolet (2006), Vampire in Brooklyn (1995), Dudley Do-Right (1999)

(The crescendo is right after the Twilight books hit it big, they were trying to capture that fanaticism. It has, naturally, kind of slip away recently as one would expect. I’m excited for … Priest. That has been on the docket for years.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 15) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Taylor Lautner is No. 3 billed in The Twilight Saga: New Moon and No. 2 billed in Ridiculous Six, which also stars Adam Sandler (No. 1 billed) who is in Jack and Jill (No. 1 billed), which also stars Al Pacino (No. 3 billed) who is in 88 Minutes (No. 1 billed), which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => 3 + 2 + 1 + 1 + 3 + 1 + 3 + 1 = 15. If we were to watch The Glass House we can get the HoE Number down to 11.

Notes – Just before Jacob almost kisses Bella, he says “Kwop kilawtley”, which means “stay with me forever” in Quileute.

Each member of the wolf pack had to have papers proving their Native descent. Chaske Spencer is Lakota (Sioux), Bronson Pelletier is Cree-Metis, Alex Meraz is Purepecha (Tarasco), Kiowa Gordon is Hualapai, and Tyson Houseman, who was discovered at an open casting call, is Cree.

After months of speculation and rumors, director Chris Weitz and the novel’s author, Stephenie Meyer, confirmed on her official website that Taylor Lautner would be reprising his role as Jacob Black. It was doubted as the filmmakers feared he would not be able to become fit enough in time. However, he was given the go-ahead after gaining 26 pounds of muscle.

Summit Entertainment greenlit this sequel one day after Twilight (2008) had opened in theaters.

The Italian sequences were shot over a period of 4 days. Red was deliberately kept out of the color palette until the Italian sequences.

While Carlisle is cleaning Bella’s wounds after the party, when he burns the blood-soaked gauze, the gauze forms the flower that is present on the New Moon book cover.

When Michael Sheen was cast as Aro, he had no clue of who the character is nor what are his characteristics. He learned as much as he could including the character’s back story from his daughter Lily Mo Sheen who is a fan of the series.

Contrary to scheduling conflict claims, Catherine Hardwicke turned down directing this film because the release date set by Summit (exactly one year after the first film’s release) would not allow her to have enough time to work on the script. With Hardwicke out, the studio scrambled in looking for a replacement director until producer Wyck Godfrey had to turn to his friend Chris Weitz who eventually agreed to do the film.

“New Moon” is Robert Pattinson’s favorite book in the Twilight series.

Ashley Greene wore a different wig than the one she wore in Twilight (2008), to portray Alice Cullen. She also cut her hair quite short so that it could fit under the wig.

A vampire’s diet is revealed by the color of the eyes – the Cullens feast only on animal blood and therefore have topaz eyes, whereas the Nomads and the Volturi have red eyes indicating they feast upon human blood.

The town of Voltera was chosen because of its uncanny resemblance to the Italian town described in Stephenie Meyer’s novel. The only difference was that its main square lacked a fountain which production designer David Brisbin duly had built from wood.

Every song that appears in the film and on the soundtrack is original and written specifically for the film.

The film is included on Roger Ebert’s “Most Hated” list.

Awards – Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Screen Couple (Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner, 2010)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Supporting Actor (Robert Pattinson, 2010)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Remake, Rip-Off or Sequel (2010)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Screenplay (Melissa Rosenberg, 2010)

Turbulence Preview

“Look around, mates, this here is a jungle. The wild west. The outback. And I’m the king. So stick with me and you’ll be fine,” Alligator Steve says, pointing out all the different cliques on display in the middle school’s cafeteria. There are nerds, jocks, artistes, clowns, unicyclers, bare-knuckle boxers, demolition experts, animal wranglers, etc. Just the classics. But Steve is the coolest tween around and he’s somehow taken Rich and Poe under his wing. Thank god, because they were about to get pounded for being such uggo nerds (for real). As they sit down for lunch, Rich and Poe ponder the purpose of this quest. Are they just supposed to spend the rest of their lives in this nerd purgatory? Fat chance, thinks Rich, secretly flexing his muscles, there must be something more to all this. Returning to the conversation, Rich listens closely as Steve details exactly why this is the raddest and baddest middle school around. “The kids run the school, plain and simple. The teachers try to rein us in, but we just give em the ‘tude and it’s all icy, diglet my zoom?” Rich and Poe smile and nod, for they understand the latest lingo all the kids are using. So are they meant to bring order to the chaos, The Substitute style? That sure would be a test, considering this school doesn’t play by the rules that they’ve come to know and hate. Suddenly Alligator nudges them. “And here’s your next lesson, mates.” At that the cafeteria doors bust open and a clique of “cool girls” stroll in. It’s clear they don’t have time for nobody, let alone Rich and Poe: nerd alert central. But they are heading straight for their table and Steve whispers, “Get ready, this is gonna be a bumpy ride.” That’s right! We’re watching Turbulence. Like a lot of Action films, this followed the age old formula of Die Hard: trap a bunch of people somewhere with a terrorist/criminal and let them battle without the help of the authorities. This also has the added benefit of starring Ray Liotta before he became the Actor Who Looks Like He’s Wearing a Ray Liotta Mask (AWLLHWRLM, rolls off the tongue) and is a film that no one remembers exists. Killing three birds with one airplane. Let’s go!

Turbulence (1997) – BMeTric: 51.6; Notability: 46 

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(If this reached 5.0 that is absurd. This film is so obviously a terrible version of Con Air so like … how does anyone watch this and think “that was okay.” It is obviously not okay. If Nic Cage isn’t in the film then that is not okay!)

RogerEbert.com – 1.0 stars – There are more questions. Like, if a 747 sheers off the roof of a high-rise restaurant, wouldn’t that cause it to crash? Like, if a 747 plows through an outdoor billboard, wouldn’t that cause it to crash? Like, if it sweeps all the cars off the roof of a parking garage, wouldn’t that cause it to crash? Like, if it gets a truck caught in its landing gear, what would happen then? (“It’s a Ford!” a sharp-eyed observer says, in a line that–for once–I don’t think represents product placement.) Oh, yes, there are many moments I will long remember from “Turbulence.” But one stands out. After Lauren Holly outsmarts and outfights the berserk killer and pilots the plane through a Level 6 storm, the FBI guy still doubts she can land it. “She’s only a stewardess,” he says. To which the female air traffic controller standing next to him snaps, “She’s a . . . flight attendant!”

(This review is amazing. I love you Ebert. All great questions. And the answer for the most part is: yes, it would crash. About fifteen times the plane would have crashed. One hundred percent.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=arr-4RGgJvU/

(I actually like the really unique start to the trailer. BTW, the reveal that Liotta is actually a bad guy is kind of a mini-twist in the beginning which they don’t even bother with (for good reason, it would be impossible to cut a trailer for the film which doesn’t feature Liotta maniacally chewing the scenery). Finally, the heavy metal soundtrack kind of previews the eventual third entry to the series which I will semi-review in my recap, so stay tuned.)

Directors – Robert Butler – (Known For: The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes; Now You See Him, Now You Don’t; The Barefoot Executive; BMT: Turbulence; Notes: Hugely involved in a few television series like Remington Steele which he directed and consulted for. He also directed the pilot for the original Star Trek. This was his last feature film.)

Writers – Jonathan Brett (written by) – (Known For: The Boynton Beach Bereavement Club; BMT: Turbulence; Notes: Produced She-Devil somewhat randomly. Also nominated for an Oscar for a short film, The Dutch Master.)

Actors – Ray Liotta – (Known For: Marriage Story; Goodfellas; Identity; The Place Beyond the Pines; Blow; Sin City: A Dame to Kill For; Cop Land; The Iceman; Field of Dreams; Killing Them Softly; Heartbreakers; Bee Movie; Something Wild; Date Night; Kill the Messenger; Muppets Most Wanted; Youth in Revolt; Observe and Report; Narc; No Escape; Future BMT: The Son of No One; Operation Dumbo Drop; Go with Me; Crazy on the Outside; Revenge of the Green Dragons; The Identical; Forever Mine; Revolver; The Death and Life of Charlie St. Cloud; The Lonely Lady; Slow Burn; Even Money; Powder Blue; Better Living Through Chemistry; Unforgettable; Smokin’ Aces; Hannibal; Corrina, Corrina; Crossing Over; Flock of Dudes; BMT: In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale; Turbulence; Wild Hogs; Notes: BMT Legend, his face looks like he is wearing a mask of his own face. He has a very crazy ad campaign for Chantix happening at the moment, which The Onion riffed on here.)

Lauren Holly – (Known For: Spirited Away; Dumb and Dumber; What Women Want; February; Sabrina; Any Given Sunday; Beautiful Girls; Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story; Tammy’s Always Dying; Field of Lost Shoes; Entropy; Future BMT: Down Periscope; How to Plan an Orgy in a Small Town; Live Wire; A Smile Like Yours; After the Ball; The Adventures of Ford Fairlane; No Looking Back; Band of the Hand; BMT: Turbulence; Crank 2: High Voltage; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Actress in 1998 for A Smile Like Yours, and Turbulence; Notes: Married to Jim Carey for a year. Co-starred opposite of Mark Harmon in the early seasons of NCIS.)

Brendan Gleeson – (Known For: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire; 28 Days Later…; Troy; Edge of Tomorrow; Braveheart; The Ballad of Buster Scruggs; Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix; Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1; Gangs of New York; In Bruges; In the Heart of the Sea; Cold Mountain; A.I. Artificial Intelligence; The Village; Mission: Impossible II; Beowulf; Paddington 2; Frankie; Safe House; Green Zone; Future BMT: The Smurfs 2; The Raven; Live by Night; Country of My Skull; The Tiger’s Tail; BMT: Turbulence; Assassin’s Creed; Notes: Irish. An accomplished fiddle player, he played in Michael Collins and Cold Mountain.)

Budget/Gross – $55,000,000 / Domestic: $11,538,235 (Worldwide: $11,538,235)

(That is catastrophic. For reference Con Air has a budget of around $75 million and made over $200 million. So this had roughly the same budget and made … 20x as much money. It is rough.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 17% (3/18)

(Oooo I get to make one. Expensive but not expensive looking. Little more than a series of cliches strung together. Reviewer Highlight: Fasten your seat belts, folks. It’s going to be a cliche-cluttered ride. – Susan Wloszczyna, USA Today)

Poster – Ray Liotta’s Magical Plane Ride (B-)

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(That is terrible, but also kind of great. It’s creative in how it’s framed and with some sweet font. The big letters at the top are a terrible idea, but so bold you have to give it to them. This poster is like two decades late… feels like it’s for Avalanche or something.)

Tagline(s) – Can You Survive The Ride? (C)

(The ride… the ride… hmmmm. That doesn’t sound right. But fine, it does its job and kinda makes me think that there is a whole other category of tagline. The rhetorical question. A little generic though. Fits the theme of an old school disaster film, but it’s just not giving me much.)

Keyword – die hard scenario

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Top 10: The Dark Knight (2008), The Magnificent Seven (2016), The Dark Knight Rises (2012), Mad Max: Fury Road (2015), Leon (1994), Angel Has Fallen (2019), Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015), Kingsman: The Secret Service (2014), 13 Hours (2016), World War Z (2013)

Future BMT: 88.2 Street Fighter (1994), 62.1 Half Past Dead (2002), 55.1 Knock Off (1998), 54.8 Resident Evil: Retribution (2012), 49.7 Collateral Damage (2002), 47.7 Under Siege 2: Dark Territory (1995), 46.7 Cop Out (2010), 46.6 Solo (1996), 44.6 Metro (1997), 44.5 The Purge (2013);

BMT: Angel Has Fallen (2019), The Expendables 3 (2014), Along Came a Spider (2001), London Has Fallen (2016), Doom (2005), Need for Speed (2014), A Good Day to Die Hard (2013), Speed 2: Cruise Control (1997), Red Dawn (2012), Swordfish (2001), Tango & Cash (1989), Soldier (1998), Max Payne (2008), Behind Enemy Lines (2001), Paul Blart: Mall Cop (2009), Skyline (2010), Punisher: War Zone (2008), Daylight (1996), Mercury Rising (1998), Firewall (2006), Getaway (2013), xXx²: The Next Level (2005), Alex Cross (2012), 88 Minutes (2007), On Deadly Ground (1994), Universal Soldier: The Return (1999), Fire Down Below (1997), Black Dog (1998), Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever (2002), Turbulence (1997), Firestorm (1998), Extreme Ops (2002)

(The graph looks like what you would expect. This is a second-banana die hard scenario. And the genre came to a crescendo around 2000, and then briefly died. Interesting that people don’t seem to running it these days, but maybe it is just overplayed. Under Siege 2 is def the best one that we haven’t seen. And my god, we’ve seen so many of them!)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 9) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Ray Liotta is No. 1 billed in Turbulence and No. 3 billed in In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Seige Tale, which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 4 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => 1 + 3 + 4 + 1 = 9. There is no shorter path at the moment.

Notes – Despite its box-office failure when of its release, the movie managed to get two direct-to-video sequels due to the film’s good performance as being one of the most rented films of that year. (Ohhhhhh yeah, Red Letter Media reviewed the third one which straight up looks like an abomination)

MGM pulled trailers from theaters and temporarily suspended its marketing campaign after the crash of TWA Flight 800 on July 17, 1996.

The airliner used in the movie (N614FF) was a Tower Air Boeing 747-246B. The fictional TCA livery seen is very similar to Japan Air Lines’ livery but minus the Tsurumaru Crane Bird on the tail.

Was scheduled to be released in theaters for the 1996 holiday season, in tandem with the film’s Christmas setting, but was delayed to January 1997.

Catherine Hicks and Lauren Holly are talking about serial killers as the plane is loading. Hicks says “did you ever see Bundy, he was a charmer, Mark Harmon played him”. Holly later went on to star opposite Mark Harmon in NCIS. (Damn, I was going to add this trivia to IMDb! I got that one organically while watching the film. And in no way is that depressing)

The toy store in the movie in reality is a bookstore on the Main Street in Clinton, New Jersey, USA. There is a toy store on Main Street but it is in an alley and director Robert Butler didn’t like the exterior of the building. The bookstore’s front window was decorated with toys for the week of filming.

Awards – Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Actress (Lauren Holly, 1998)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Reckless Disregard for Human Life and Public Property (1998)

Crocodile Dundee In Los Angeles Preview

As Rich and Poe wingsuit their way to the school they look themselves over and realize just what an odd pair they make. Rich, a brash bro with baditude. Poe, a stock broker type with glasses for days. One the number cruncher, the other using instinct to get out of jams. Both warriors of justice and yet so different. They sure do hate rulez, but in different and equally cool ways. Boy howdy are they an odd couple. When they land, Nic Cage and the eeevil Gamemaster are waiting. “Most curious,” says the evil Gamemaster, suspicious at the totally bodacious way in which they completed the task. But they shrug, no biggie. “Unfortunately your test has just begun,” says Nic Cage. The new task is about the dangers of complex thought. “Clear your minds. For often the simplest idea is the most profound.” The evil Gamemaster nods, “And remember, you can’t teach old dogs new tricks.” With that they are gone and Rich and Poe look at their clothing. My god, they’re hideous. “We can’t go to school like this,” wails Rich, “We are total nerd alerts. Look at my glasses! Look at these ink stains!” He is despondent, but Poe knows they have to go forward. They should be poppin’ b-gum and baggin’ some cargo shorts as they skateboard their way to tween culture dominance, but there must be a reason for all this. As they nervously walk in, all the dope tweens are staring at the new dweebs in town. “Yo, fresh fish,” says one and Rich and Poe flinch as a hand grasps their shoulders, “Hey mates, you fellas look like a coupla fish outta water, oi? Come on, I’ll show you around and maybe we can toss a few shrimp on the barbie at lunch.” That’s right! We’re finally taking the dive and watching the sequels to a true fish-out-of-water classic, Crocodile Dundee II and Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles. Both were reviled by critics and it’s an apt time to watch them because there may or may not be another one on the BMT horizon. Let’s go!

Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles (2001) – BMeTric: 63.7; Notability: 39 

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(I think this one is going to be legendary. That is really holding firm significantly below 5.0, which is a very very low score. Should be an abomination. I can’t wait. Notability is actually higher that I would expect, although the early 2000s is right when they were throwing a ton of cash at comedies to hit that $100 million mark.)

RogerEbert.com – 2.0 stars – The movie is pokey and the jokes amble onscreen, squat down on their haunches and draw diagrams of themselves in the dust. But enough Croc-bashing. Truth in journalism compels me to report that “Crocodile Dundee” is at least genial family entertainment, quite possibly of interest to younger audiences and entirely lacking in the vomitous content of such other current films as “See Spot Run,” “Joe Dirt” and “Freddy Got Fingered.” Since the studios are advertising those excremental exercises in places where kids develop a desire to see them, it is good, after they see “Spy Kids,” to have an innocent and harmless entertainment like “Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles” as another choice. It may not be brilliant, but who would you rather your kids took as a role model: Crocodile Dundee, David Spade or Tom Green? It is a melancholy milestone in our society when parents pray, “Please, God, let my child grow up to admire a crocodile rassler,” but there you have it.

(An interesting take to be honest. His Rotten Tomatoes blurb is mostly that it is just dull. But I can see that argument, that it is mostly just fine, two stars. That sounds right to be honest.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GpJ0y6qIsps/

(Classic, The Clapper jokes. That trailer is insane. A much more like … kids comedy it seems like? He’s just cruising around with a kid solving crime or something? Who is the dude he’s with as well, that character isn’t really in the early films. Truly bizarre stuff.)

Directors – Simon Wincer – (Known For: Free Willy; Quigley Down Under; The Phantom; D.A.R.Y.L.; The Lighthorsemen; Harlequin; Phar Lap; The Young Black Stallion; Future BMT: Operation Dumbo Drop; Lightning Jack; Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man; BMT: Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles; Notes: A television director since the early 70s, he only broke into movies in the 80s and 90s. He directed the Lonesome Dove mini-series.)

Writers – Paul Hogan (characters) – (Known For: Crocodile Dundee; Future BMT: Lightning Jack; Almost an Angel; BMT: Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles; Crocodile Dundee II; Notes: Was named Australian of the Year in 1985.)

Matt Berry (written by) (as Matthew Berry) – (BMT: Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles; Notes: A prolific television producer and writer including writing for Roseanne, Married … with Children, and Desperate Housewives. Now obviously best known for fantasy sports.)

Eric Abrams (written by) – (BMT: Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles; Notes: Similarly wrote on Married … with Children. Berry and him were writing partners and have told some interesting stories about how they ended up involved with the film and the unpleasant experiences they had.)

Actors – Paul Hogan – (Known For: Crocodile Dundee; Charlie & Boots; I Now Pronounce You Vince and Ralph; Future BMT: Flipper; Lightning Jack; Almost an Angel; BMT: Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles; Crocodile Dundee II; Notes: He had a comedy show called the Paul Hogan Show which … looks like it ran for like a decade, but it is hard to tell because there are only five episodes listed on IMDb. I feels like something akin to the Ernest P. Worrell shows, very public-access-y)

Linda Kozlowski – (Known For: Crocodile Dundee; Future BMT: Village of the Damned; Almost an Angel; BMT: Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles; Crocodile Dundee II; Notes: Was nominated for a Golden Globe for her work in Crocodile Dundee.)

Jere Burns – (Known For: The Incredibles 2; Funhouse Massacre; Future BMT: Game Over, Man!; Prom; My Giant; Greedy; Wired; BMT: Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles; Notes: Seems to be an fitness fanatic competing in marathons, triathlons, and a multitude of extreme sports to some degree.)

Budget/Gross – N/A / Domestic: $25,635,682 (Worldwide: $39,438,674)

(That seems unlikely to be a good take. It just seems like Hogan himself would have cost a bit to lure into reprising the role. But who knows with the budget information missing.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 11% (9/80): A sequel as unnecessary as it is belated, Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles lacks virtually all of the easygoing humor and charm that delighted fans of the original.

(The review seems like it can be boiled down to: This is exactly what you would expect and that is too bad. Reviewer Highlight: The punchlines are as tired as Hogan looks braying ‘g’day’ between scenes of stunt doubles getting some exercise. – Lisa Schwarzbaum, Entertainment Weekly)

Poster – Sklogodile Dundee in Los Angeles (F)

crocodile_dundee_in_los_angeles

(Heeeelllllll nooooooo. Nope. No. No. Nope. I don’t give a shit about that font. The poster is shockingly bad. In the competition with The Avengers (1998) for worst all-time maybe.)

Tagline(s) – He heard there was wildlife in L.A. He didn’t know how wild. (F)

(What?! This is the craziest poster/tagline combination in a while. This is amazing nonsense.)

Keyword – fish out of water

CrocodileDundeeinLosAngeles_fish out of water

Top 10: Terminator: Dark Fate (2019), Alita: Battle Angel (2019), Thor: Ragnarok (2017), Aquaman (2018), Captain Marvel (2019), Wonder Woman (2017), True Romance (1993), Back to the Future (1985), Beauty and the Beast (2017), Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991)

Future BMT: 73.1 Bio-Dome (1996), 69.8 Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen (2004), 68.7 Supergirl (1984), 68.7 Gulliver’s Travels (2010), 66.2 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (1993), 65.4 Black Knight (2001), 62.9 Fat Albert (2004), 58.1 Corky Romano (2001), 57.5 Little Nicky (2000), 56.9 Suburban Commando (1991);

BMT: Road House (1989), Sweet Home Alabama (2002), Timeline (2003), Rambo III (1988), Safe Haven (2013), The Pacifier (2005), The 13th Warrior (1999), Made of Honour (2008), Howard the Duck (1986), Universal Soldier (1992), Mortdecai (2015), Jungle 2 Jungle (1997), Queen of the Damned (2002), Jason X (2001), The Beverly Hillbillies (1993), New in Town (2009), The Golden Child (1986), Old Dogs (2009), Did You Hear About the Morgans? (2009), Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles (2001), Highlander II: The Quickening (1991), Are We There Yet? (2005), Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre III (1990), Vampire in Brooklyn (1995), Rhinestone (1984), Ishtar (1987)

(He is such a goddamned fish out of water! Man we’ve watched a lot of these. I think the one I am most looking forward to is Suburban Commando (in whatever capacity that qualified). It is somewhat notable that this is, indeed, a rather non-notable film in general.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 44) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Paul Rodríguez is No. 10 billed in Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles and No. 14 billed in The Curse of La Llorona, which also stars Linda Cardellini (No. 1 billed) who is in Hunter Killer (No. 6 billed), which also stars Gary Oldman (No. 2 billed) who is in Lost in Space (No. 1 billed), which also stars Heather Graham (No. 5 billed) who is in Say It Isn’t So (No. 2 billed), which also stars Chris Klein (No. 1 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 2 billed) => 10 + 14 + 1 + 6 + 2 + 1 + 5 + 2 + 1 + 2 = 44. If we were to watch Lightning Jack, and Pearl Harbor we can get the HoE Number down to 14.

Notes – One early idea for a third Crocodile Dundee film was to have Mick Dundee team up with Eddie Murphy’s character Axel Foley from the Beverly Hills Cop (1984) films in a crossover film. (Sounds like something thought up between doing two lines of coke)

Paul Hogan had requested sole writing credit on the film for his rewrite but the Writers Guild of America awarded the credit solely to Matthew Berry and Eric Abrams, the writers of the initial script.

Paul Hogan had stated in an interview that there wasn’t going to be a 3rd “Crocodile Dundee” film and had felt that the story of Mick Dundee had been finished and that he isn’t James Bond and he doesn’t go all over the world solving crimes. (That is exactly what the second film was! But wait … like it didn’t need to be. You wrote the movies man)

Mick Dundee drives a Subaru Outback, the same car that actor Paul Hogan had been the spokesman for. (Of course he does)

A spin-off that centered around Mikey Dundee, Mick and Sues’s son was not considered due to the film bombing at the Box Office. (I knew it! It did bomb)

Alec Wilson appears in this film as an apparent, long time friend of Mick’s from Australia. He also appeared in Crocodile Dundee II (1988) as the local hired goon named ‘Denning’, who worked alongside the drug lords helping them to track down Mick and Sue in the Australian outback.

Producer/performer Anthony Begonia is in the Venice beach scene as an angry volleyball player in the background.

Features the final musical score composed by Basil Poledouris for a theatrical film.

An early draft of the script contained a cameo role for Hugh Hefner as himself.

Awards – Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Remake or Sequel (2002)

Tango & Cash Preview

Brief note before we start: last July we got together yet again and worked out a fourth class to be inducted into the Smaddies Baddies BMT Hall of Fame. It has been nearly a decade since we started BMT and as usual the films from more than five years ago might just deserve a rewatch, a reassessment, and a recap. The previews and speeches will be released leading up to the seventh (ninth?) Smaddies Baddies for the five films chosen. Tango & Cash (or is it Rich & Poe?) check off all the boxes: Sly Stallone, Sly Stallone, and Sly Stallone. This is the preview for the film, a Hall of Fame induction speech will follow immediately afterwards. Enjoy!

Generated on: 2020-01-13

Tango & Cash (1989) – BMeTric: 21.3; Notability: 68 

TangoCashIMDb_BMeT

TangoCashIMDb_RV

(The rating is actually a bit lower than I would have expected. This is a really really fun film, and a film I’ve seen mentioned online as being underrated. So I would have kind of expected it to me close to 7.0 to be honest. I guess it helps that the movie is just a bit too strange (especially near the end) for people to get entirely on board? Love the notability though. This was probably just after Stallone’s Imperial Phase (to borrow a term from music) which is maybe 1983 to 1988, but it is close.)

Leonard Maltin – 2 stars –  Rumored $55 million budget must have gone for male hairstyling in congenitally derivative narc caper about two competitive cops who take on M.r Big. Surprisingly tolerable, though, with a nifty prison break sequence and a pleasingly relaxed Stallone.

(A pleasingly relaxed review by Leonard. Odd use of the word congenitally to be honest, but genuinely an interesting take on the movie as it was probably written at the time of release. I’m sure that is part of the reason the movie is merely borderline BMT, critics probably like “meh, fun”.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qwzkxI6b9Go/

(This is an incredibly bad trailer for conveying what the movie is about. It’s an incredibly good trailer in that it condenses all the truly insane shit from the film into a short clip that genuinely makes me excited to watch it.)

Directors – Andrey Konchalovskiy – (Known For: Runaway Train; Shy People; Chacun son cinéma ou Ce petit coup au coeur quand la lumière s’éteint et que le film commence; Ray; The Inner Circle; Belye nochi pochtalyona Alekseya Tryapitsyna; Dom durakov; Future BMT: The Nutcracker in 3D; Homer and Eddie; BMT: Tango & Cash; Notes: Fired from the film by the ever erratic producer Jon Peters who was famous for the Superman/Wild Wild West giant mechanical spider story. He won an Emmy for the miniseries The Odyssey.)

Albert Magnoli – (Known For: Purple Rain; BMT: American Anthem; Tango & Cash; Notes: Brought in to finish the film. For a time he was Prince’s manager.)

Writers – Randy Feldman (written by) – (Known For: Hell Night; Future BMT: Metro; Nowhere to Run; La chispa de la vida; BMT: Tango & Cash; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Screenplay for Tango & Cash in 1990; Notes: Brother of Dennis Feldman, who wrote BMT films Species II and The Golden Child, along with a number of future BMT films.)

Actors – Sylvester Stallone – (Known For: Guardians of the Galaxy: Vol. 2; Creed II; Rocky; First Blood; The Expendables; Creed; Escape Plan; Rocky Balboa; Cliffhanger; The Expendables 2; Rocky III; Spy Kids 3: Game Over; Rocky II; Cop Land; Bullet to the Head; Antz; Death Race 2000; Nighthawks; Escape to Victory; Future BMT: Escape Plan II; Staying Alive; Rocky V; Escape Plan 3; D-Tox; The Specialist; An Alan Smithee Film: Burn Hollywood Burn; Avenging Angelo; Backtrace; Ratchet & Clank; Collection; Assassins; Oscar; Rocky IV; BMT: Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot; Driven; Zookeeper; Rhinestone; Get Carter; Judge Dredd; Rambo III; Cobra; Over the Top; Daylight; The Expendables 3; Rambo: Last Blood; Tango & Cash; Grudge Match; Lock Up; Rambo: First Blood Part II; Demolition Man; Rambo; Razzie Notes: Winner for Worst Director, and Worst Actor for Rocky IV in 1986; Winner for Worst Screenplay, and Worst Actor for Rambo: First Blood Part II in 1986; Winner for Worst Actor in 1985 for Rhinestone; in 1989 for Rambo III; and in 1993 for Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot; Winner for Worst Supporting Actor for Spy Kids 3: Game Over in 2004; Winner for Worst Screen Couple in 1995 for Interview with the Vampire: The Vampire Chronicles, and The Specialist; Winner for Worst Actor of the Decade in 1990 for Cobra, Cobra, Lock Up, Lock Up, Over the Top, Over the Top, Rambo III, Rambo III, Rambo: First Blood Part II, Rambo: First Blood Part II, Rhinestone, Rocky IV, and Tango & Cash; Nominee for Worst Director for The Expendables in 2011; Nominee for Worst Screenplay in 1985 for Rhinestone; in 1986 for Rocky IV; in 1987 for Cobra; in 1989 for Rambo III; in 1991 for Rocky V; in 1994 for Cliffhanger; and in 2002 for Driven; Nominee for Worst Actor in 1987 for Cobra; in 1988 for Over the Top; in 1990 for Lock Up, and Tango & Cash; in 1991 for Rocky V; in 1992 for Oscar; in 1995 for The Specialist; in 1996 for Assassins, and Judge Dredd; in 1997 for Daylight; in 2001 for Get Carter; and in 2014 for Bullet to the Head, Escape Plan, and Grudge Match; Nominee for Worst Supporting Actor, and Worst Screen Couple for Driven in 2002; and Nominee for Worst Supporting Actor for An Alan Smithee Film: Burn Hollywood Burn in 1999; Notes: I mean, come on.)

Kurt Russell – (Known For: Once Upon a Time… in Hollywood; Guardians of the Galaxy: Vol. 2; Forrest Gump; The Hateful Eight; The Christmas Chronicles; Fast & Furious 8; The Thing; Fast & Furious 7; Tombstone; Deepwater Horizon; Death Proof; Bone Tomahawk; Sky High; Stargate; Big Trouble in Little China; Executive Decision; Escape from New York; Grindhouse; Overboard; Future BMT: Captain Ron; The Best of Times; Crypto; Jiminy Glick in Lalawood; It Happened at the World’s Fair; BMT: Poseidon; Soldier; 3000 Miles to Graceland; Tango & Cash; Vanilla Sky; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Supporting Actress for Tango & Cash in 1990; and Nominee for Worst Screen Couple for 3000 Miles to Graceland in 2002; Notes: Double come on. It’s Kurt!)

Teri Hatcher – (Known For: Tomorrow Never Dies; Spy Kids; Coraline; 2 Days in the Valley; Planes: Fire & Rescue; Soapdish; The Big Picture; Resurrecting the Champ; Future BMT: Planes; Heaven’s Prisoners; Straight Talk; Madness in the Method; BMT: Tango & Cash; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Supporting Actress in 1997 for 2 Days in the Valley, and Heaven’s Prisoners; Notes: Probably best known for TV work, winning a Golden Globe for Desperate Housewives. Also was a 49ers cheerleader.)

Budget/Gross – $55 million / Domestic: $63,408,614 (Worldwide: $63,408,614)

(Modest hit. A little strange in that you have a film with two megastars, that was modestly popular at the time of its release, and yet usually when I mention this film to people my age they’ve never heard of it.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 31% (14/45): Brutally violent and punishingly dull, this cookie-cutter buddy cop thriller isn’t even fun enough to reach “so bad it’s good” status.

(Punishingly dull! Punishingly dull?! That’s just flat wrong. Not, cookie-cutter buddy cop thriller… that… that’s true. I will contend it’s clearly so bad that it’s good and Rottentomatoes should amend that consensus. Reviewer Highlight: The jokes seem lame and the rivalry fraudulent, as the two boys play with their big guns. – Gene Siskel, Chicago Tribune)

Poster – Rich & Poe (D)

tango_and_cash

(The literal Rich & Poe poster. I even have a coffee cup with that image on it. Ironically it’s a really bad poster. Kinda violates all my rules. Patrick’s Shallow Fake: Probably my best fake movie poster ever. I got the graininess just right, and started to actually manipulate things in the image (like the glasses, which are just modified directly off of the picture of Stallone). Could have done better with the font I suppose.)

Tagline(s) – Two of L.A.’s top rival cops are going to have to work together… Even if it kills them. (C-)

(Egad, that’s long. It’s not even that clever when you think about it. They went for a double entendre, but it only really makes sense in one meaning. Also bad.)

Keyword – buddy movie

Tango&Cash_buddy movie

Top 10: Green Book (2018), The Peanut Butter Falcon (2019), Hall Pass (2011), The Other Guys (2010), Bad Boys (1995), Central Intelligence (2016), Men in Black (1997), Ice Age (2002), Hot Fuzz (2007), 21 Jump Street (2012)

Future BMT: 49.8 Gone Fishin’ (1997), 44.7 National Security (2003), 42.2 Transylvania 6-5000 (1985), 40.4 Hall Pass (2011), 39.7 Pink Cadillac (1989), 33.2 Sahara (2005), 31.9 Armed and Dangerous (1986), 27.9 Men in Black II (2002), 27.5 Rush Hour 3 (2007), 16.9 Bad Boys II (2003);

BMT: Wild Wild West (1999), Tango & Cash (1989), Double Team (1997), Another 48 Hrs. (1990), Hot to Trot (1988)

(This genre is really dying. It is kind of amazing. I’m very excited for all of the films that are coming up. They are almost universally great bad movies.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 10) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Sylvester Stallone is No. 1 billed in Tango & Cash and No. 1 billed in Expendables 3, which also stars Jason Statham (No. 2 billed) who is in In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (No. 1 billed), which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 4 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => 1 + 1 + 2 + 1 + 4 + 1 = 10. If we were to watch The Glass House we can get the HoE Number down to 8.

Notes – When Tango and Cash escape from the prison, Cash turns to Tango and asks if he stopped “for coffee and a Danish.” Tango says, “I hate Danish,” an in-joke referring to Sylvester Stallone’s recent divorce from Danish actress Brigitte Nielsen. (oof)

The glasses Sylvester Stallone wears early in the film are his own, not props. He usually wears contact lenses in his films. The lenses show that he is very near-sighted in one eye, less so in the other. Plus, he has astigmatism.

Director Andrey Konchalovskiy was replaced toward the end of principal photography by Albert Magnoli. In his book of memoirs, Konchalovsky says that the reason he was fired was because he wanted to give the film a more serious tone than the producers wanted, and as such, his relationship with Producer Jon Peters became untenable. Konchalovsky, however, has nothing but praise for Sylvester Stallone, who he states was a constant voice of reason on the set.

When Brion James was originally hired to play Requin, it was a very small role with only two lines. In an effort to give the character something that would make him stand out, James decided to speak in a horrible “cockney” accent. Sylvester Stallone loved it, and re-wrote the script to give Requin a much bigger role. (Jesus, Imperial Phase for real)

The scene where Tango faces an oncoming truck with nothing but a gun was borrowed from Ging chaat goo si (1985), where Jackie Chan performed the stunt. As a “response”, Chan would later reference the make shift zip-line prison escape moment in this film in a scene early in the third installment of the Police Story series, Ging chaat goo si III: Chiu kup ging chaat (1992) (Oh, fun)

Patrick Swayze was originally cast as Cash, but he dropped out to star in Road House (1989). (Good choice, although I feel like Tango & Cash would have benefited from his more serious attitude)

Kurt Russell was originally considered and offered the role of Martin Riggs in Lethal Weapon (1987), but he turned it down, and it went to Mel Gibson, with whom he worked on Tequila Sunrise (1988). His character in this film is loosely based on Riggs.

While filming the scene in which the back of the SUV catches fire, the flames would not go out when filming was over. Kurt Russell and Sylvester Stallone were caught in a cross draft. Stallone was so close to the fire that his hair was singed in places.

Years later, Sylvester Stallone offered the role of “Mr. Church” to Kurt Russell in The Expendables (2010). Russell declined the role, which was then accepted by Bruce Willis.

A total of four different people directed the film. Andrey Konchalovskiy, who was fired after about three months of filming by Jon Peters, Sylvester Stallone, after the movie went over-budget and schedule (but not by his fault), Executive Producer Peter MacDonald, who was also the Second Unit Director, then took over directing on the movie for some time (a year earlier MacDonald had to step in as a director for Stallone’s previous movie Rambo III (1988) after the original director was fired by Stallone), then Albert Magnoli was hired as the new director to finish the movie (but even after principal photography was finished, he caused two more weeks of further delays after he decided to re-shoot some parts of the movie), and Stallone was also directing the movie behind the scenes (something he was known for, especially during the 80s). None of them however had any control over the editing of the movie. Instead, Warner Bros. hired expert editor Stuart Baird to re-edit the movie after they expressed strong dislike for the initial rough cut. Baird hired another editor Hubert de La Bouillerie to help out when Warner Bros. kept complaining on every different cut of the movie that was edited, which almost caused for release date to be pushed way further than planned.In the end, the movie was finally approved for theatrical release by Warner Bros., and it ended up being shipped to theaters only a week after its original release date, as “wet prints” – an industry term meaning that the movie was just barely completed before its release date.

One of the monster trucks at the quarry scene towards the end is the famous Bigfoot truck. Although it’s painted different colors than its trademark blue color, and does not feature any Bigfoot decals, it was confirmed that it is in fact Bigfoot by owner of the original monster truck Bob Chandler.

Originally, the part of Katherine, Tango’s sister was to be played by Daphne Ashbrook. She was not supposed to be Tango’s biological sister; possibly an adopted sister, or a foster child his parents took in. But, when they decided to make her his actual sister, they re-cast the role with Teri Hatcher, who slightly resembles Stallone. (I love that they give a shit about the actors looking the same, who cares?)

The tank-like SUV seen in the film (with a windshield shape resembling a 1990s-era Chevrolet Lumina APV minivan) was built from a 1988 Chevrolet K2500 truck. At the time of the film’s release, the vehicle resembled a GM concept (a 1987 Chevrolet Blazer XT-1) which was planned as a crossover-like SUV which was powered with a Chevrolet 4.3L V6 – the engine block and cylinder heads were cast in aluminum alloy. GM did not proceed with the Blazer XT-1 but its styling cues were used with the W-body “Dustbuster” minivans (Lumina, Oldsmobile Silhouette, and Pontiac Trans Sport).

Jack Palance jokingly showed his displeasure about filming this movie while on the tonight show with Jay Leno. He said that when he first got the script he was really excited about doing the movie since he had three nice scenes with Sylvester Stallone, but as soon as filming started all his scenes with Stallone were cut, and he didn’t even see Stallone throughout the entire movie. (That’s kind of sad)

Shortly after this film was released, there was a very lethal “brand” of heroin being sold in The Bronx, New York, NY. It was named “Tango & Cash”. This was stamped on the bags the drugs were contained in. So many addicts overdosed (and died), the NYPD was driving around neighborhoods using loudspeakers to tell people not to use this particular “brand” of heroin. This was reported on all the flagship network TV stations there as well.

Awards – Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Actor (Sylvester Stallone, 1990)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Supporting Actress (Kurt Russell, 1990)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Screenplay (Randy Feldman, 1990)

After Earth Preview

Brief note before we start: last July we got together yet again and worked out a fourth class to be inducted into the Smaddies Baddies BMT Hall of Fame. It has been nearly a decade since we started BMT and as usual the films from more than five years ago might just deserve a rewatch, a reassessment, and a recap. The previews and speeches will be released leading up to the seventh (ninth?) Smaddies Baddies for the five films chosen. After Earth is this generation’s Battlefield Earth… you know if John Travolta had used Battlefield Earth as a way to insult his children. This is a preview, the hall of fame induction speech will immediately follow. Enjoy!

Generated on: 2020-01-12

After Earth (2013) – BMeTric: 74.9; Notability: 46 

AfterEarthIMDb_BMeT

AfterEarthIMDb_RV

(Exactly the rating I would expect, high fours is just right. The notability is much lower than you would think. I wonder if films starring huge actors tend to have lover notability even if the production is big. Since salaries have to be adjusted to accommodate the star.)

RogerEbert.com – 3.5 stars – “After Earth” is a lovely surprise. This film from producer-costar Will Smith and director M. Night Shyamalan, about a father and son marooned on a hostile future earth, is a moral tale disguised as a sci-fi blockbuster. It’s no classic, but it’s a special movie: spectacular and wise. … “After Earth” carries itself with confidence because it knows what it wants to say, and how to say it. The asteroid storm appears suddenly, as if willed into being by Poseidon stirring a cauldron with his trident. The design of the spaceship would make Odysseus feel at home: the ribs of its hull seem to be made of wood and bone. The skyscrapers on Nova Prime are built from triangular wedges that suggest a schooner’s sails. The warriors fight with blades. Ursa is Latin for bear. Kitai’s leap from a high cliff is a leap of faith. His name is Japanese for “hope.” This movie is a fable. Fables teach.

(Insane review! But I have to respect the legacy of Roger Ebert. He always had an interesting take on blockbusters and films being “good for what they are” and this review for his site basically does just that here. He liked the movie for what it is, ignoring things it didn’t necessarily need to be (well acted with a good story).)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-r9IXze_tPM/

(Looks pretty cool when you put it that way. But we know better, because we’ve seen the glory of this movie. We’ve seen Jaden Smith becoming best friends with a bird.)

Directors – M. Night Shyamalan – (Known For: Split; The Sixth Sense; Unbreakable; Signs; The Village; The Visit; Wide Awake; Future BMT: Glass; BMT: The Last Airbender; After Earth; The Happening; Lady in the Water; Razzie Notes: Winner for Worst Director, and Worst Screenplay for The Last Airbender in 2011; Winner for Worst Director, and Worst Supporting Actor for Lady in the Water in 2007; Nominee for Worst Director, and Worst Screenplay for After Earth in 2014; Nominee for Worst Director, and Worst Screenplay for The Happening in 2009; and Nominee for Worst Screenplay for Lady in the Water in 2007; Notes: Has started producing television, which honestly is where I would expect him to end up in a few years. I could see him doing something like Star Trek where you just throw big idea sci-fi at the screen with a medium-to-good hit rate. That genuinely seems missing from television these days.)

Writers – Gary Whitta (screenplay) – (Known For: Rogue One; The Book of Eli; BMT: After Earth; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Screenplay for After Earth in 2014; Notes: Was an editor of PC Gamer for years.)

M. Night Shyamalan (screenplay) – (Known For: Split; The Sixth Sense; Unbreakable; Signs; The Village; The Visit; Stuart Little; Devil; Wide Awake; Future BMT: Glass; BMT: The Last Airbender; After Earth; The Happening; Lady in the Water; Razzie Notes: Winner for Worst Director, and Worst Screenplay for The Last Airbender in 2011; Winner for Worst Director, and Worst Supporting Actor for Lady in the Water in 2007; Nominee for Worst Director, and Worst Screenplay for After Earth in 2014; Nominee for Worst Director, and Worst Screenplay for The Happening in 2009; and Nominee for Worst Screenplay for Lady in the Water in 2007; Notes: The Sixth Sense is one of the most recent films that appear on the AFI Top 100.)

Will Smith (story) – (BMT: After Earth; Razzie Notes: Winner for Worst Supporting Actor, and Worst Screen Combo for After Earth in 2014; Winner for Worst Original Song, and Worst Screen Couple for Wild Wild West in 2000; and Nominee for Worst Screenplay for After Earth in 2014; Notes: Created the television show All of Us which is nearly all of his writing credits. This is his only feature film credit. Otherwise he has a single story credit for an episode of The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.)

Actors – Jaden Smith – (Known For: The Pursuit of Happyness; The Karate Kid; Skate Kitchen; BMT: After Earth; The Day the Earth Stood Still; Razzie Notes: Winner for Worst Actor, and Worst Screen Combo for After Earth in 2014; Notes: Noted weirdo, and I say that with total affection. He made waves a few years ago with his word-salad ramblings on social media. A rapper who claims he doesn’t see gender … or something like that.)

David Denman – (Known For: Brightburn; Logan Lucky; Power Rangers; 13 Hours; The Replacements; The Gift; Big Fish; Fair Game; Puzzle; The Nines; Smart People; Take; Beneath the Harvest Sky; Future BMT: When a Stranger Calls; Shutter; The Singing Detective; Fanboys; Men, Women & Children; BMT: After Earth; Jobs; Out Cold; Notes: You’d recognize him as Roy from The Office. He went to Juilliard with Alan Tudyk.)

Will Smith – (Known For: Spies in Disguise; Aladdin; Bad Boys; Men in Black; Independence Day; Men in Black 3; I Am Legend; The Pursuit of Happyness; Hitch; Focus; Hancock; I, Robot; Enemy of the State; Concussion; Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues; Ali; Six Degrees of Separation; The Legend of Bagger Vance; Where the Day Takes You; Future BMT: Student of the Year 2; Made in America; Gemini Man; Suicide Squad; Shark Tale; Men in Black II; Bright; Bad Boys II; Collateral Beauty; BMT: After Earth; Wild Wild West; A New York Winter’s Tale; Razzie Notes: Winner for Worst Supporting Actor, and Worst Screen Combo for After Earth in 2014; Winner for Worst Original Song, and Worst Screen Couple for Wild Wild West in 2000; and Nominee for Worst Screenplay for After Earth in 2014; Notes: He is playing Serena and Venus Williams’ father in the upcoming biopic.)

Budget/Gross – $130,000,000 / Domestic: $60,522,097 (Worldwide: $243,611,982)

(Pretty close to doing fine(ish). If the budget was $100 it would be roughly break even. It is … basically Birds of Prey? A bit more expensive to make, and a little less domestic take.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 11% (23/203): After Earth is a dull, ploddingly paced exercise in sentimental sci-fi — and the latest setback for director M. Night Shyamalan’s once-promising career.

(Awwww that’s actually a really sad consensus. Feels filled with resignation, as if there was no other way this film could have been. I suppose in this case Rotten Tomatoes is right. Reviewer Highlight: Mr. Smith and his wife, Jada Pinkett Smith, are producers on “After Earth,” which suggests that there was no one on the production who could really say no to him. – Manohla Dargis, New York Times)

Poster – After Earf (C+)

after_earth

(Real father-son motif there, which is nice and helps me think this was all some tragic mistake and not something that Will Smith orchestrated to embarrass his son. Nice font too. I would have liked more of the blue-green in the color scheme and the construction works for a star vehicle, but doesn’t give any sense of what you are in for. It’s alright.)

Tagline(s) – Danger is real. Fear is a choice. (A-)

(A little on the nose, but works for the film. Particularly before you watch it. It grows on you the more you read it I think. Could have been a little cleverer I think, but that’s about it.)

Keyword – stranded

AfterEarth_stranded

Top 10: Dunkirk (2017), Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003), Kong: Skull Island (2017), The Martian (2015), Constantine (2005), Star Trek Beyond (2016), E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial (1982), Prometheus (2012), Cast Away (2000), Blockers (2018)

Future BMT: 62.4 The Hills Have Eyes II (2007), 57.9 House of Wax (2005), 55.0 Coneheads (1993), 42.0 Red Planet (2000), 39.4 The Forsaken (2001), 39.4 Six Days Seven Nights (1998), 31.0 Rugrats Go Wild (2003), 28.9 Flight of the Phoenix (2004), 20.6 Last Man Standing (1996), 20.3 The Amazing Panda Adventure (1995);

BMT: The Island of Dr. Moreau (1996), Jumper (2008), Soldier (1998), After Earth (2013), Chernobyl Diaries (2012), Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid (2004)

(This seems to go in waves. Which is pretty cool. Perhaps like Patton Oswalt’s Zombie Spaceship Wasteland. This keyword is closest to Wasteland, and the idea is that the tastes of generations cycle between the three ideas. Fighting against zombies, exploration through space, and surviving a post-apocalyptic wasteland.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 21) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Will Smith is No. 2 billed in After Earth and No. 1 billed in Wild Wild West, which also stars M. Emmet Walsh (No. 5 billed) who is in Christmas with the Kranks (No. 4 billed), which also stars Tim Allen (No. 1 billed) who is in Jungle 2 Jungle (No. 1 billed), which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 6 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => 2 + 1 + 5 + 4 + 1 + 1 + 6 + 1 = 21. If we were to watch Hardball, and The Glass House we can get the HoE Number down to 13.

Notes – Although not credited on the finished film, co-writer/producer Will Smith was responsible for much of the movie’s direction. While M. Night Shyamalan was primarily in charge of the blocking (composition of shots, placement of the camera) and the visual aspects of the film (color and design), it was Will Smith who personally coached Jaden Smith in his performance and dictated the development of the story and the on-screen action. After both the story and acting were heavily criticized, Shyamalan decided to take the blame.

The original cut was 130 minutes long, and included more backstory on the decline of Earth and the formation of Nova Prime. However, the film was vastly re-edited after performing poorly at test screenings, and any actors playing Nova Primates were either reduced to extras or cut out entirely. The deleted footage will likely never be seen, as M. Night Shyamalan is satisfied with the theatrical cut.

The original idea for the film was a father and son on a camping trip. After the car they are traveling in careens off the road, the son makes his way through the forest to find help for the father. Realizing that the idea had greater potential, producer Will Smith and screenwriter Gary Whitta decided to adapt the basic survival concept into a much larger science-fiction project. (The original sounds better)

Will Smith, who had wanted to work with M. Night Shyamalan for several years but was unable to find a suitable project, personally hired him to direct. This became the first time in twenty years that Shyamalan accepted a project based on someone else’s screenplay, and the first film in Shyamalan’s career where he does not appear on screen.

Producer/co-writer Will Smith envisioned “After Earth” as a multi-platform franchise, including books, graphic novels, and interactive video games, which would all inform on and add to the ideas and concepts already developed in the finished film.

In a 2019 lecture at NYU’s Stern School of Business, Shyamalan publicly disowned his films The Last Airbender (2010) and After Earth (2013), calling them “junk movies.” He added: “I did a couple huge, big-budget CGI movies. There has always been this inexorable pull to join the group; a constant seduction in the form of whatever you want to tally, in the form of money, or safety, ease, not getting criticized. I did these movies, and I rightfully got crushed, because they said, ‘You don’t believe in yourself, you don’t believe in your own voice, and in you don’t believe in your values.’ I felt really lost. It just didn’t work. There’s probably something Darwinian about all this.”

Eisner Award-winning comic writer Peter David, Michael Jan Friedman and Robert Greenberger produced a 300-page “bible” covering the history of mankind, from their decision to leave Earth to the events depicted in the finished film. It was intended to serve as a resource for all kinds of ancillary materials in the After Earth (2013) franchise.

When Kristofer Hivju showed up on set, he got into a discussion with the make-up department, who wanted to cut his characteristic long hair and beard. Hivju was against it, and was even supported by Jaden Smith, but eventually lost out. To make matters worse, most of his role was eventually deleted from the final cut.

A series of spin-off novels, sub-titled “Ghost Stories”, have been planned to promote the movie, but are also intended to flesh out the concepts in the film itself. The titles of these books include ‘Innocence’, Peace, ‘Hunted’ and ‘A Perfect Beast.’ All books are written by writers Peter David, Michael Jan Friedman, and Robert Greenberger, with illustrations by Benito Lobel.

Second time that real-life father and son Will Smith and Jaden Smith play father and son on screen. The first time was in The Pursuit of Happyness (2006).

The film takes place in 3071.

M. Night Shyamalan’s first digital film. The first feature film shot with Sony’s F65 digital camera.

The original screenplay was written by Gary Whitta based on an idea by Will Smith. In pre-production, M. Night Shyamalan did a few drafts of the screenplay to familiarize himself with the material, before passing it over to Stephen Gaghan, who stayed on as the chief screenwriter during production. Mark Boal, writer of The Hurt Locker (2008) and Zero Dark Thirty (2012), also worked on the script.

To promote the movie, Harper Collins and Insight Editions published ‘After Earth: United Ranger Corps Survival Manual’ and ‘After Earth: Kitai’s Journal.’

Kristofer Hivju, Lincoln Lewis, and Isabelle Fuhrman had major supporting roles in the original cut though the majority of their scenes were deleted during post-production (In the theatrical cut Hivju has one scene, Lewis has one line, and only the back of Fuhrman’s head is visible in one shot – though her face can be seen in the trailer).

The word “ursa” is the Latin for “female bear”. The protagonist’s name Kitai is the Russian for “China”.

Awards – Winner for the Razzie Award for Worst Actor (Jaden Smith, 2014)

Winner for the Razzie Award for Worst Supporting Actor (Will Smith, 2014)

Winner for the Razzie Award for Worst Screen Combo (Jaden Smith, Will Smith, 2014)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Picture (2014)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Director (M. Night Shyamalan, 2014)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Screenplay (Gary Whitta, M. Night Shyamalan, Will Smith, 2014)

Grown Ups 2 Preview

Brief note before we start: last July we got together yet again and worked out a fourth class to be inducted into the Smaddies Baddies BMT Hall of Fame. It has been nearly a decade since we started BMT and as usual the films from more than five years ago might just deserve a rewatch, a reassessment, and a recap. The previews and speeches will be released leading up to the seventh (ninth?) Smaddies Baddies for the five films chosen. For this inductee we went looking for a bad movie for the people. A bad movie that the whole family could enjoy. And maybe, we’ll also get an extended commercial for KFC, or Dick’s Sporting Goods, or Hooters thrown in for good measure! That’s right, we are rewatching Grown Ups 2. The first Sandler inductee, and honestly very likely the only one. Just consider this a lifetime achievement award for his work in the 2000s. This is the updated preview, the Hall of Fame Speech will follow to explain why we think this film is Hall of Fame worthy.

Generated on: 2020-01-09

Grown Ups 2 (2013) – BMeTric: 54.8; Notability: 65 

GrownUps2IMDb_BMeT

GrownUps2IMDb_RV

(Significantly lower. Which is not that surprising. Having watched both of them again recently, the first is a bit upsetting, but ultimately a load of harmless fun during a lake holiday. This is just a whole bunch of nothing.)

RogerEbert.com – 1.0 stars – If you chortle at a deer trapped in a house, flaunting a hot pink bra on its antler (C-cup, an observer admires), and urinating copiously, you’re the right person for “Grown Ups 2.”

(I … am not. This film is straight up a garbage fire, and this review correctly demonstrates this.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sq5CIH0duMk/

(Yup … that’s the film. That is actually basically the storyline as well. What? You didn’t see the storyline in there? Yeah, this film has no storyline, it is just them wandering around on the last day of summer … enjoy!)

Directors – Dennis Dugan – (Known For: Happy Gilmore; Brain Donors; Future BMT: You Don’t Mess with the Zohan; Problem Child; Beverly Hills Ninja; National Security; Saving Silverman; Big Daddy; BMT: Jack and Jill; Grown Ups 2; The Benchwarmers; Grown Ups; I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry; Just Go with It; Razzie Notes: Winner for Worst Director in 2012 for Jack and Jill, and Just Go with It; and Nominee for Worst Director in 2000 for Big Daddy; in 2008 for I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry; and in 2014 for Grown Ups 2; Notes: His son is a professional baseball player, although I don’t think he’s appeared in any Major League games yet.)

Writers – Fred Wolf (written by & based on characters created by) – (Known For: I Want Candy; Future BMT: Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star; Without a Paddle; Joe Dirt; Black Sheep; Dirty Work; BMT: Grown Ups 2; Strange Wilderness; Grown Ups; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Screenplay for Grown Ups 2 in 2014; Notes: )

Adam Sandler (written by & based on characters created by) – (Known For: Happy Gilmore; Billy Madison; Hotel Transylvania 2; Future BMT: Little Nicky; The Week Of; You Don’t Mess with the Zohan; Sandy Wexler; Eight Crazy Nights; The Waterboy; Big Daddy; BMT: Jack and Jill; Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star; The Ridiculous 6; Grown Ups 2; Grown Ups; Notes: While his time on SNL is fondly remembered by those who experienced it via re-run, it was rather short and tumultuous. He, and a good chunk of the rest of the cast, were fired after about three years because of poor reviews and bad press.)

Tim Herlihy (written by) – (Known For: The Wedding Singer; Happy Gilmore; Billy Madison; Future BMT: Little Nicky; Mr. Deeds; Bedtime Stories; The Waterboy; Big Daddy; BMT: The Ridiculous 6; Grown Ups 2; Pixels; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Screenplay in 2000 for Big Daddy; in 2001 for Little Nicky; in 2014 for Grown Ups 2; and in 2016 for Pixels; Notes: Sandler’s college roommate, he was (at one point at least) a practicing attorney.)

Actors – Adam Sandler – (Known For: Uncut Gems; Murder Mystery; The Meyerowitz Stories; The Wedding Singer; Happy Gilmore; 50 First Dates; Punch-Drunk Love; Spanglish; Hotel Transylvania 3: A Monster Vacation; Hotel Transylvania; Billy Madison; Anger Management; Funny People; Hotel Transylvania 2; Reign Over Me; Top Five; Future BMT: The Animal; Little Nicky; Coneheads; The Week Of; You Don’t Mess with the Zohan; The Hot Chick; Sandy Wexler; Eight Crazy Nights; Mr. Deeds; The Do-Over; The Cobbler; Bulletproof; Mixed Nuts; Bedtime Stories; The Waterboy; Airheads; Shakes the Clown; Click; Big Daddy; The Longest Yard; Dirty Work; Men, Women & Children; BMT: Jack and Jill; Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo; The Ridiculous 6; Zookeeper; Grown Ups 2; Pixels; Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo; Grown Ups; I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry; Just Go with It; Blended; Notes: While he was born in New York, he grew up in New Hampshire which is why so many of his films are set there.)

Adam Sandler Razzie Notes: Winner for Worst Screenplay, Worst Actor, Worst Actress, and Worst Screen Couple for Jack and Jill in 2012; Winner for Worst Actor in 2000 for Big Daddy; in 2012 for Just Go with It; and in 2013 for That’s My Boy; Nominee for Worst Screenplay in 2000 for Big Daddy; in 2001 for Little Nicky; in 2012 for Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star; and in 2014 for Grown Ups 2; Nominee for Worst Actor in 1997 for Bulletproof, and Happy Gilmore; in 1999 for The Waterboy; in 2001 for Little Nicky; in 2003 for Eight Crazy Nights, and Mr. Deeds; in 2008 for I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry; in 2014 for Grown Ups 2; in 2015 for Blended; and in 2016 for Pixels, and The Cobbler; Nominee for Worst Screen Combo for The Cobbler in 2016; and Nominee for Worst Screen Couple in 2008 for I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry; in 2012 for Just Go with It; and in 2013 for That’s My Boy;

Kevin James – (Known For: 50 First Dates; Hitch; Hotel Transylvania 3: A Monster Vacation; Hotel Transylvania; Here Comes the Boom; Hotel Transylvania 2; Monster House; Future BMT: You Don’t Mess with the Zohan; Sandy Wexler; Barnyard; True Memoirs of an International Assassin; BMT: Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2; Paul Blart: Mall Cop; Zookeeper; Pinocchio; The Dilemma; Grown Ups 2; Pixels; Grown Ups; I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Screenplay, Worst Actor, and Worst Screen Combo for Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 in 2016; Nominee for Worst Supporting Actor in 2008 for I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry; and in 2016 for Pixels; and Nominee for Worst Screen Couple for I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry in 2008; Notes: He is starring in a film called Becky which claims to be an action thriller … that would be a fun turn for James.)

Chris Rock – (Known For: Dolemite Is My Name; Madagascar; Doctor Dolittle; A.I. Artificial Intelligence; Bee Movie; Dogma; Beverly Hills Cop II; Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back; Madagascar 3: Europe’s Most Wanted; Death at a Funeral; Lethal Weapon 4; Osmosis Jones; Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa; New Jack City; Boomerang; Top Five; Nurse Betty; I’m Gonna Git You Sucka; Pauly Shore Is Dead; CB4; Future BMT: The Week Of; You Don’t Mess with the Zohan; Sandy Wexler; Beverly Hills Ninja; Pootie Tang; Bad Company; Nobody’s Fool; Down to Earth; Head of State; I Think I Love My Wife; Paparazzi; Sgt. Bilko; The Longest Yard; BMT: Grown Ups 2; What to Expect When You’re Expecting; Grown Ups; Notes: Has been features in the television show Fargo. I really should watch that show, it is supposed to be great.)

Budget/Gross – $80,000,000 / Domestic: $133,668,525 (Worldwide: $246,984,278)

(Another huge hit! Why didn’t they make a third one … I actually imagine it is because of Sandler’s Netflix deal.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 7% (8/112): While it’s almost certainly the movie event of the year for filmgoers passionate about deer urine humor, Grown Ups 2 will bore, annoy, and disgust audiences of nearly every other persuasion.

(Huh. That is an incredibly low score. Man, Sandler was on a role for a while there. Reviewer Highlight: When Taylor Lautner is the funniest thing in a movie starring Adam Sandler and Chris Rock, we’re in trouble. – Richard Roeper, Chicago Sun-Times.)

Poster – Sklog Ups 2 (C)

grown_ups_two_ver3

(Just average. I don’t mind the idea, it just feels very lazy. It is, in essence, four faces staring at you with a boring font.)

Tagline(s) – Just because they’re a little older doesn’t mean they’ve grown up. (C)

(While the poster/tagline for the original felt interesting and fresh, these seem lazy. Mostly playing off the original without actually doing much to distinguish itself. Just kind of boring. Like this abomination of a movie.)

Keyword – flatulence

GrownUps2_flatulence

Top 10: The Lighthouse (2019), The Lion King (2019), It Chapter Two (2019), The Lion King (1994), The Master (2012), Deadpool (2016), Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace (1999), Wonder (2017), Tropic Thunder (2008), Dances with Wolves (1990)

Future BMT: 92.7 Date Movie (2006), 92.3 Son of the Mask (2005), 78.8 Nutty Professor II: The Klumps (2000), 78.6 Superhero Movie (2008), 75.9 Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel (2009), 70.8 The Animal (2001), 70.5 Zoom (2006), 69.2 Soul Plane (2004), 68.0 Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector (2006), 67.3 Scooby-Doo (2002);

BMT: Grown Ups (2010), Year One (2009), Grown Ups 2 (2013), White Chicks (2004), Movie 43 (2013), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014), Dirty Grandpa (2016), The Cat in the Hat (2003), Good Luck Chuck (2007), Tango & Cash (1989), Cool World (1992), Scary Movie 5 (2013), Mortdecai (2015), Jungle 2 Jungle (1997), The Master of Disguise (2002), Dreamcatcher (2003), Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo (1999), Cheaper by the Dozen 2 (2005), The Benchwarmers (2006), Epic Movie (2007), The Love Guru (2008), Little Man (2006), A Haunted House (2013), Kangaroo Jack (2003), Monkeybone (2001), Bringing Down the House (2003), Grind (2003), A Haunted House 2 (2014), The Whole Ten Yards (2004), Evening (2007), Unaccompanied Minors (2006), Dudley Do-Right (1999)

(Oh boy. That crescendo in the early 2000s! It actually probably is just the peak of throwing tons of money at trash comedies, but I like to think they just threw farts at audienced until they said “Enough! We can only take so many farts!” We are now at a more reasonable level of famous people farting on each other.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 10) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Adam Sandler is No. 1 billed in Grown Ups 2 and No. 1 billed in Jack and Jill, which also stars Al Pacino (No. 3 billed) who is in 88 Minutes (No. 1 billed), which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => 1 + 1 + 3 + 1 + 3 + 1 = 10. There is no shorter path at the moment.

Notes – Adam Sandler wanted Brad Pitt to play the role of the school teacher. He declined due to “scheduling conflicts”. (I.e. there is no way he was going to do that)

Adam Sandler’s first sequel. (Interesting)

The Feders’ house is the same one used in That’s My Boy (2012), also starring Adam Sandler.

Contrary to popular belief, the reason Rob Schneider did not reprise his role was not because he had a falling out with Sandler. He turned down the movie due to scheduling conflicts, and his wife was having a baby during production. (I believe his new show Rob was being made around then, but I could be wrong)

Two kiwi guys, Tim Batt and Guy Montgomery, are undertaking an unheard of project by watching this film every week for a year (fifty-two times in total) for their podcast “The Worst Idea of All Time” where they also review the film every week. (Ah, maybe I should check out one of those episodes)

Milo Ventimiglia plays a frat boy, but was thirty-six at the time. (YUP)

All of the male cheerleaders were cast members/writers on Saturday Night Live (1975): Andy Samberg, Taran Killam, Will Forte, Bobby Moynihan, Paul Brittain, Jorma Taccone, and Akiva Schaffer.

Cameron Boyce’s final theatrical film appearance before his death in 2019. (That’s sad, he died from complications due to epilepsy, he played one of Sandler’s sons in the film. He was quite good I thought)

Earned the biggest shut-out in the history of the Razzie Awards, by receiving nine nominations at the 34th Razzies and failing to take home a single award. This record was later broken by Transformers: The Last Knight (2017). Which received ten nominations at the 38th Razzie Awards and failed to win a single award.

There are two alternate cover arts for this movie shown in the pictures section, both of which show scenes eventually cut and never made it to the theatrical release of the movie. One shows three of the four main characters driving go-karts, and the other shows all four on a rollercoaster. (Ohhhhh yeah, they even mention Spade works at the go-kart track)

At the 1980s party, you can see guests disguised as stars of this time: Hulk Hogan, Crockett and Tubbs from Miami Vice (1984), Tina Turner, Mario and Luigi from Mario Bros. , Bruce Springsteen, Meat Loaf, Boy George, Indiana Jones, Michael Jackson, Donald Trump, several Smurfs, Flavor Flav, Tom Cruise’s characters from Top Gun (1986) and Risky Business (1983), Prince, a member of ZZ Top, and many more.

Awards – Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Picture (2014)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Actor (Adam Sandler, 2014)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Supporting Actress (Salma Hayek, 2014)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Supporting Actor (Taylor Lautner, 2014)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Supporting Actor (Nick Swardson, 2014)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Screen Combo (2014)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Director (Dennis Dugan, 2014)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Screenplay (Fred Wolf, Adam Sandler, Tim Herlihy, 2014)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Remake, Rip-Off or Sequel (2014)

Grown Ups Preview

Brief note before we start: last July we got together yet again and worked out a fourth class to be inducted into the Smaddies Baddies BMT Hall of Fame. It has been nearly a decade since we started BMT and as usual the films from more than five years ago might just deserve a rewatch, a reassessment, and a recap. The previews and speeches will be released leading up to the seventh (ninth?) Smaddies Baddies for the five films chosen. For this inductee we went looking for a bad movie for the people. A bad movie that the whole family could enjoy. And maybe, we’ll also get an extended commercial for KFC, or Dick’s Sporting Goods, or Hooters thrown in for good measure! That’s right, we are rewatching Grown Ups 2. The first Sandler inductee, and honestly very likely the only one. Just consider this a lifetime achievement award for his work in the 2000s. This is the updated preview for the original Grown ups. There will also be a review for the sequel and then the Hall of Fame Speech will follow to explain why we think Grown Ups 2 is Hall of Fame worthy.

Generated on: 2020-01-09

Grown Ups (2010) – BMeTric: 37.6; Notability: 39 

GrownUpsIMDb_BMeT

GrownUpsIMDb_RV

(A shade under 6.0 is right where I would have expected it to be. This film seems to be beloved by people who were relatively young when it came out. It was on Netflix for years so it was probably on repeat in some households.)

RogerEbert.com – 2.0 stars – The direction by Dennis Dugan never overcomes the ungainly size of the cast. It’s such a challenge to keep all the characters alive that he sometimes does round-robins of reaction shots — a fatal strategy when it comes to timing. Some of the dialogue is broken down into one-shots; some of the characters spend stretches merely responding. It’s all, as I said, pleasant and good-natured, but it feels too much as if all these nice people are trying to keep the conversation going. A comedy it is, but “The Hangover” or “Death at a Funeral” (2007) it isn’t.

(Round-robin of reaction shots is exactly how I would have described this film. I completely agree with this review. It is a bizarre film involving legitimately good friends ripping on each other. I find it a bit distressing if I’m being honest.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bZMyY0WuwyY/

(There is something very odd about Rob Schneider’s character in this movie. Like … did he ask to do a character? Everyone else if effectively playing themselves, or at least can dress like a normal person during the film. But he is wearing like a wig and a poncho the entire time and has an old lady wife? What a bizarre choice.)

Directors – Dennis Dugan – (Known For: Happy Gilmore; Brain Donors; Future BMT: You Don’t Mess with the Zohan; Problem Child; Beverly Hills Ninja; National Security; Saving Silverman; Big Daddy; BMT: Jack and Jill; Grown Ups 2; The Benchwarmers; Grown Ups; I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry; Just Go with It; Razzie Notes: Winner for Worst Director in 2012 for Jack and Jill, and Just Go with It; and Nominee for Worst Director in 2000 for Big Daddy; in 2008 for I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry; and in 2014 for Grown Ups 2; Notes: His ex-wife Joyce Van Patten plays the wife of Rob Schneider’s character in the film. Van Patten is 11 years older than Dugan.)

Writers – Adam Sandler (written by) – (Known For: Happy Gilmore; Billy Madison; Hotel Transylvania 2; Future BMT: Little Nicky; The Week Of; You Don’t Mess with the Zohan; Sandy Wexler; Eight Crazy Nights; The Waterboy; Big Daddy; BMT: Jack and Jill; Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star; The Ridiculous 6; Grown Ups 2; Grown Ups; Notes: He wrote the upcoming Hubie Halloween, which honestly sounds like Ernest Scared Stupid, but starring Adam Sandler.)

Fred Wolf (written by) – (Known For: I Want Candy; Future BMT: Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star; Without a Paddle; Joe Dirt; Black Sheep; Dirty Work; BMT: Grown Ups 2; Strange Wilderness; Grown Ups; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Screenplay for Grown Ups 2 in 2014; Notes: Was the head writer for SNL, and a director as well. He directed the BMT classic Strange Wilderness.)

Actors – Adam Sandler – (Known For: Uncut Gems; Murder Mystery; The Meyerowitz Stories; The Wedding Singer; Happy Gilmore; 50 First Dates; Punch-Drunk Love; Spanglish; Hotel Transylvania 3: A Monster Vacation; Hotel Transylvania; Billy Madison; Anger Management; Funny People; Hotel Transylvania 2; Reign Over Me; Top Five; Future BMT: The Animal; Little Nicky; Coneheads; The Week Of; You Don’t Mess with the Zohan; The Hot Chick; Sandy Wexler; Eight Crazy Nights; Mr. Deeds; The Do-Over; The Cobbler; Bulletproof; Mixed Nuts; Bedtime Stories; The Waterboy; Airheads; Shakes the Clown; Click; Big Daddy; The Longest Yard; Dirty Work; Men, Women & Children; BMT: Jack and Jill; Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo; The Ridiculous 6; Zookeeper; Grown Ups 2; Pixels; Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo; Grown Ups; I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry; Just Go with It; Blended; Notes: Famously threatened to make his worst movie yet if he didn’t get an Oscar nomination for his work in Uncut Gems. He didn’t get that nomination. And thus the countdown begins.)

Adam Sandler Razzie Notes: Winner for Worst Screenplay, Worst Actor, Worst Actress, and Worst Screen Couple for Jack and Jill in 2012; Winner for Worst Actor in 2000 for Big Daddy; in 2012 for Just Go with It; and in 2013 for That’s My Boy; Nominee for Worst Screenplay in 2000 for Big Daddy; in 2001 for Little Nicky; in 2012 for Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star; and in 2014 for Grown Ups 2; Nominee for Worst Actor in 1997 for Bulletproof, and Happy Gilmore; in 1999 for The Waterboy; in 2001 for Little Nicky; in 2003 for Eight Crazy Nights, and Mr. Deeds; in 2008 for I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry; in 2014 for Grown Ups 2; in 2015 for Blended; and in 2016 for Pixels, and The Cobbler; Nominee for Worst Screen Combo for The Cobbler in 2016; and Nominee for Worst Screen Couple in 2008 for I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry; in 2012 for Just Go with It; and in 2013 for That’s My Boy;

Salma Hayek – (Known For: From Dusk Till Dawn; The Hitman’s Bodyguard; Savages; Sausage Party; The Faculty; Here Comes the Boom; The Hummingbird Project; Traffic; Dogma; Desperado; Across the Universe; Spy Kids 3: Game Over; Once Upon a Time in Mexico; How to Be a Latin Lover; Frida; Tale of Tales; Muppets Most Wanted; Puss in Boots; The Pirates! In an Adventure with Scientists!; Bandidas; Future BMT: Everly; Fled; Cirque du Freak: The Vampire’s Assistant; Lessons in Love; 54; Fools Rush In; Ask the Dust; After the Sunset; The Velocity of Gary; Septembers of Shiraz; La chispa de la vida; Four Rooms; BMT: Wild Wild West; Fair Game; Grown Ups 2; Grown Ups; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Supporting Actress in 2000 for Dogma, and Wild Wild West; and in 2014 for Grown Ups 2; Notes: He is going to star as Ajak in the upcoming Marvel’s The Eternals.)

Kevin James – (Known For: 50 First Dates; Hitch; Hotel Transylvania 3: A Monster Vacation; Hotel Transylvania; Here Comes the Boom; Hotel Transylvania 2; Monster House; Future BMT: You Don’t Mess with the Zohan; Sandy Wexler; Barnyard; True Memoirs of an International Assassin; BMT: Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2; Paul Blart: Mall Cop; Zookeeper; Pinocchio; The Dilemma; Grown Ups 2; Pixels; Grown Ups; I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Screenplay, Worst Actor, and Worst Screen Combo for Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 in 2016; Nominee for Worst Supporting Actor in 2008 for I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry; and in 2016 for Pixels; and Nominee for Worst Screen Couple for I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry in 2008; Notes: There is an upcoming AMC show called Kevin can F— Himself, which is a play off of Kevin Can Wait, the comedy by Kevin James where they fired his sitcom wife in order to pair him up with Leah Remini again a la King of Queens.)

Budget/Gross – $80,000,000 / Domestic: $162,001,186 (Worldwide: $271,430,189)

(An absolute smash hit. Sandler was really flexing his comedy muscles with this one. This film felt a bit self-indulgent. It wouldn’t be until the second one where they really saw how little they could do (from a comedy standpoint) and still knock a hit out of the park.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 10% (16/166): Grown Ups’ cast of comedy vets is amiable, but they’re let down by flat direction and the scattershot, lowbrow humor of a stunted script.

(Wow, that is a brutal critical reception. I’m surprised it is that low. Again, this film feels self-indulgent in that there is little effort being done, but it also kind of just feels like The Great Outdoors for another generation. Some comedy vets doing a little holiday hijinx. I’m genuinely shocked critics rebelled so clearly. Reviewer Highlight: Feels like the work of people who sat around a table for an hour or so tossing around hackneyed comic notions, then decided to slap them onto the screen and hope for the best. – Stephen Holden, New York Times)

Poster – Sklog Ups (A) 

grown_ups_ver2

(I … kind of love this poster. What does it tell us? These guys are all friends, it is the summer, they are older guys reliving the past maybe doing stuff they did as kids, and it has a boatload of famous comedians. That is all I need. It isn’t all white, it isn’t a bunch of faces staring at you … why is this poster so good?)

Tagline(s) – Boys will be boys… some longer than others. (A)

(I also like this tagline! WTF. It takes a classic phrase, and introduces the twist that tells us these are adults who are going to be acting like children during this film. Short and sweet. They put more work into the poster and tagline than they did into the script for this film.)

Keyword – fourth of july

GrownUps_fourth of july

Top 10: It (2017), Zodiac (2007), We’re the Millers (2013), Brokeback Mountain (2005), Grown Ups (2010), Steel Magnolias (1989), Forgetting Sarah Marshall (2008), Cape Fear (1991), Independence Day (1996), Hannibal (2001)

Future BMT: 57.7 The Next Best Thing (2000), 55.9 The Stepford Wives (2004), 55.7 An American Werewolf in Paris (1997), 49.3 Lottery Ticket (2010), 38.2 Chasers (1994), 34.1 The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard (2009), 34.0 Mad Money (2008), 30.3 Amelia (2009), 24.2 Blown Away (1994), 18.1 Gung Ho (1986);

BMT: Grown Ups (2010), Independence Day: Resurgence (2016), Jonah Hex (2010), Safe Haven (2013), Tammy (2014), I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (1998), Georgia Rule (2007), Here on Earth (2000)

(I love holiday films. I’m a bit skeptical of a few of these, like Mad Money, but I’m also pretty impressed about the number we have seen. It seems like maybe Fourth of July has become less of a temporal setting recently. Maybe because it is cheesy and expensive? Hard to tell if it is a real trend.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 10) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Adam Sandler is No. 1 billed in Grown Ups and No. 1 billed in Jack and Jill, which also stars Al Pacino (No. 3 billed) who is in 88 Minutes (No. 1 billed), which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => 1 + 1 + 3 + 1 + 3 + 1 = 10. There is no shorter path at the moment.

Notes – Maya Rudolph really was pregnant with her second child during filming of this movie.

After the movie premiered, Adam Sandler bought each of his fellow cast members (Chris Rock, Kevin James, Rob Schneider, and David Spade) a brand new Maserati. Rock appreciated the gift but said it made him feel like “Adam Sandler’s bitch”. (hahaha)

Adam Sandler wrote and was set to release this movie in the mid 1990s, with Chris Farley in the Kevin James role. Farley’s death in 1997 halted production plans, and the film was shelved for more than a decade. (Naw it is better when you can have all of the characters have reasonably old children)

Kevin James’ character, Eric Lamonsoff, was also mentioned in another Adam Sandler movie; The Wedding Singer (1998), as a neighbor of Robbie Hart (Adam Sandler) during the scene where Robbie and Julia are negotiating prices for wedding pictures.

Studio executives were not enthused with reports that Salma Hayek would be cast in the film, and in a meeting suggested to Adam Sandler that they continue looking until they could get a “less ethnic” actress in the part. Sandler then told them he’d already offered Hayek the role and she’d accepted, adding that he would not consider re-casting the part and warned them not to bring the subject up again. (That’s pretty racist)

The “flashback” basketball game was filmed at the Huntington Avenue YMCA in Boston. It was filmed on a ninety-five-degree day in a gym with no air conditioning, and all of the extras in the stands were dressed in polyester. Adam Sandler was on-set with Dennis Dugan, and they both guided the team and the cheerleaders during the fifteen-hour shoot.

An early scene where the five male leads all sit in chairs outside the lakehouse in sunshine was actually extremely cold. External heaters were placed out of shot so the actors, who were all dressed in t-shirts and shorts, could warm themselves in between takes.

Adam Sandler’s wife Jackie makes an appearance in the movie when the guys are playing basketball near the end. She plays Tardio’s (Richie Minervini’s) wife. Their two daughters are the real daughters of Adam and Jackie Sandler. (She’s in the sequel as well)

The lake rope swing scene was added at the last second during filming. Adam Sandler told the story of how it happened to him and it was decided to include the scene in the movie. It was then decided it would be funnier if it happened to Eric Lamonsoff (Kevin James).

Despite the rather idyllic summer setting at the lakehouse in Massachusetts, at some point, it rained every day during production. (Is it supposed to be Massachusetts? Is it really? I really seems to me like it should be New Hampshire, but elsewhere it suggests it is in Connecticut like in the second film)

The zipline ride seen in the waterpark sequence is a fictional creation. Health and safety regulations would never allow customers to fly over concrete. (You fucking think?)

Adam Sandler wears a different New England area college shirt or hat in nearly every scene. The colleges that Sandler can be spotted wearing are University of Connecticut (hat), University of Massachusetts (t-shirt), Harvard (t-shirt) with a University of New Hampshire t-shirt, University of Rhode Island (hat), Vermont hockey, and Boston University (sweatshirt). He is also seen wearing a Whalers Hockey t-shirt.

Director Dennis Dugan directed his ex-wife Joyce Van Patten in this movie. Just like depicted in her character Gloria’s relationship with Rob Schneider, also Van Patten is older than Dugan. Though, their age difference (eleven years) is not quite as significant as that of the movie characters.

“Water Wizz”, the water park from the film was also featured in Maya Rudolph’s other film The Way, Way Back (2013).

Awards – Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Supporting Actor (Rob Schneider, 2011)