Oh boy, so here’s the thing. I’m like … the batman? I dress up like a bat and I fight crime? I pose these as questions because I don’t remember, in my decades of crime fighting I’ve sustained hundreds of concussions, and I think I might actually be a bat? Am I? Anyways, do you remember what happened in Justice League?
Pop Quiz Hot Shot!
1) We open with Batman catching baddies and taking names. But he has an ulterior motive for catching the cat burglar on the roof. What is it?
2) Well guess what? We got a new baddie. I will give you $100 (not a real prize, I owe you no money) if you can tell me his name and what he’s after.
3) Well, screw him then! We got our own Aveng … er, Justice League. Name them all, I dare you!
4) Shoot, turns out Justice hasn’t risen yet because none of these jabronis are strong enough to raise up Justice high enough to beat Steppenwolf. Fudge. How do they plan on getting Clark Kent back in action?
5) Oh shit, Justice has risen! I guess. A swear to god, if you can name the other bad guy that Lex Luthor recruits to make the anti-Justice League I’ll give you $100 dollars. I’m not joking … actually I am, I still owe you no money.
Bonus Question: Well that was a downer. Flash forward to a rebuilt Wayne Manor when we hear a knock at his door. Who answers, and who is it?
Answers
1) He’s trying to take down uh … monsters? Flying CGI things, and it turns out that they are attracted to fear. And if there is one thing Batman knows how to do it is scaring cat burglars with his creepy batman shit.
Bonus Answer: Wait … is that a real old Ben Affleck?! That’s right, we are 30 years in the future and that knock is a young scamp named Terry McGinnis! There’s a problem you see, The Joker is back jack, somehow, and the elderly recluse Bruce Wayne and his new protege Terry are the only ones who can crack the case of how he returned to terrorize Gotham decades after his supposed death. But first, they need to infiltrate Wayne Enterprises which long ago was taken over by a competitor (with nefarious intentions) in the years after Alfred’s death when a broken Bruce Wayne was at his lowest. Breaking in and stealing the prototype batsuit hidden in secret by Lucius Fox, Terry and Bruce uncover a secret. A child … wait, Joker Jr.!! Wayne Enterprises, specializing in weapon sales, has gone about the brainwashing and manipulation of The Joker’s offspring to create a new generation of villains that only their newly weaponized Gotham police department can face. Can Bruce Wayne and Terry take over (or take down) Wayne Enterprises and save Gotham from itself?
Find out in Batman Beyond: The Motion Picture. I think I would add that subtitle as a throwback. I unironically love it. Fight me in real life if you disagree.
Bad Movie Twins 