Oh man, so get this? I’m a sad, L.A. virgin just looking to do what all the other boys are doing (their girlfriends I imagine … I wouldn’t know). But what ho?! A lovely much older lady takes an interest in me, and now I’m sapping on bubbly at her swanky L.A. mans? One problem … I kind of then forget everything and now I’m dressing all in black and only awake at night. I think I’m a vampire, but I don’t remember. Do you remember what happened in Once Bitten?
Pop Quiz Hot Shot!
1) What car are Jim Carrey and his girlfriend Karen Kopin in in the beginning when everyone else is having sex?
2) What happens that causes Jim Carrey to leave the phone-a-date bar in a rush?
3) Carrey’s friends have a disastrous time at the bar, but they have a new idea for where to pick up ladies. Where and how does it go?
4) What are all four of their costumes at the big Halloween bash?
5) In the end Jim Carrey is brought to the swanky L.A. mansion of the vampire where they are attempting to do what? In the end how does he evade his fate?
Bonus Question: Years later Carrey and Kopin are happily married with a child of their own, young Russel. On Russel’s 18th birthday they get a visitor of the night however. Who is it?
Answers
1) Well, Jim Carrey sells ice cream, and there is nothing sexier than an ice cream truck. Or should I say ice cream truck, like Chris Klein in Here on Earth. Do you have any ice cream. Disgusting.
2) In the phone-a-date bar, his two friends are hitting on some (ahem) older ladies and one of the lady’s husbands comes in and accuses them of being his wife’s much younger lover. And uh oh, he has the love letters to “prove” it. He then pulls out a gun and tries to fucking kill them! So naturally everyone bounces tootsweet.
3) Obviously they can really get their teen romance on at the laundromat because the ladies are all bored and just waiting for guys to come pick up on them. Yeah … they strike out again. And one of them is put into a laundry machine and died (probably, I have to assume).
4) Naturally Carrey was supposed to go as Jack and his girlfriend as Jill. Instead he went as nothing but everyone thinks he’s a vampire. His friends are Pinocchio and … well the other was supposed to go as Gandhi but he couldn’t find glasses or a mustache so he went as Yil Brenner instead.
5) So it is explained that the vampire must taste of a virgin’s blood three times prior to Halloween. The issue has been that there are no virgins in L.A. anymore. On Halloween he is to be bitten for the third time, but in the end the teens escape and Karen Kopin and Jim Carrey have sex in a coffin to prevent the ceremony from completing leaving the vampire an aged wreck (but don’t worry, it is indicated they are going to move to the midwest where there are virgins aplenty to get everything back on track).
Bonus Answer: C’mon now, you know it is the Countess! She informs them that she was weakened but not destroyed that night, that a connection to the world kept her alive in her aged form. But, there’s a twist! Russel is now of age, and as he was conceived on the night of her downfall his father was, in fact, half vampire. Russel holds the key to her full strength, captured within his essence. It gives her strength to collect Sebastian and the rest of her coven, just in time for the big Halloween bash at Russel’s high school, where Carrey, Kopin, and Russel will have to battle it out thrice: on the dance floor, with their wits, and in the same swanky L.A. mansion that hasn’t aged a day (and don’t think they don’t know it as they gawk at the now very much back in style 80s decor). In the end, no, Russel doesn’t need to have sex with his girlfriend, how passe! Instead he naturally uses the 18 years of technological progress to distract and destroy the Countess just as the clock strikes midnight. She’s destroyed … for now.
The film is obviously Twice Bitten and yeah, this actually maybe sounds like the plot to the sequel to Hocus Pocus.
Bad Movie Twins 