Oh man, so get this. I’m just a regular old suburban mom, and now I’m the head of a mafia family?! What happened? Like … literally what happened, I don’t remember, I’m extremely jetlagged since I traveled here from California. Do you remember what happened in Mafia Mamma?
Pop Quiz Hot Shot!
1) As is often the case, there is great change in this Mafia Mamma’s life. While everyone knows her husband cheats on her, do you remember what he does for a living?
2) But good thing she’s jetting off to Italy though. Almost immediately she has a bit of a meetcute. With whom, and how does she meet him?
3) Well, it does turn out she’s going to be a bona fide mafia mamma, whodathunkit? What is the family business?
4) First thing first though she has to meet with her rival head of family. How does she accidentally kill him?
5) In the end they yada yada yada a whole bunch of stuff. But most importantly our mafia mamma is arrested and gets off for being … a mafia mamma I guess. How does she get off?
Bonus Question: In an inter-credit scene we jump a few years in the future, and our mafia mamma is despondent. What is she missing?
Answers
1) Her husband is a good for nothing. Or to be slightly more exact: he’s in a band. And obviously he cheats on one of his (only, presumably) fans.
2) She meets him pretty much immediately upon stepping off the plane (suspicious…) when he bumps into her. Naturally, she’s a bit smitten. And naturally he’s a bit of a police officer investigating our mafia mamma!
3) They make terrible wine. Good thing our mafia mamma is also a wine guzzling mamma because that means she knows wine, and she’s ready to whip that vineyard into shape. Also, eventually she gets them into illegal pharmaceuticals which is fun.
4) So he is trying to kill her (naturally) by poisoning her limoncello. Unfortunately for him he pours her a bigger portion and she gets weirded out about it and swaps it without him knowing. Ta da! He’s dead instead.
5) Well, quite simple. It turns out the lead investigator was sleeping with the mafia mamma and keen on being a mafia daddy. It is not to be, but it is highly inappropriate and the case it thrown out. It helps that a bunch of locals testify in her favor for helping them out so much (or out of fear? No one can tell).
Bonus Answer: Well, we have a Mafia Mamma … but she needs a Mafia Husband right? That’s right, a few years later and the family is going swimmingly, so it is time to get back on that train. So she naturally goes on a dating app. And oh boy, there are a lot of hot guys on this app that seem to be into her! Meanwhile, we see that the app is actually run by a rival crime family in an attempt to dispatch her once and for all. Naturally, she accidentally kills all of them one by one and it is hilarious. She is nicknamed The Grim Reaper, and the final master assassin comes and instead of killing her, bows to her and offers her his gun. She is truly the master assassin. But that doesn’t work for the Assassin’s Guild. He broke the contract. So the big culminating scene is a two against one hundred battle to escape the villa with their lives. They do, and the Assassin’s Guild is absorbed into the family and works instead on clearing the path to life saving medicines (and good wine) for the whole of Italy. We flash forward a year and the master assassin and our Mafia Mamma are in a happy relationship heading up a successful (black market) pharmaceutical business. The End.
It is called Mafia Mamma 2: Assassin’s Creed.
Bad Movie Twins 