Oh man, so get this. I just got in a huge fight, seemingly for no reason because the reason kept on changing? Regardless I got my face smashed and now I can’t remember a thing. Do you remember what happened in Fist Fight?
Pop Quiz Hot Shot!
1) Wait … is this a holiday film. What “holiday” is occurring in the beginning of the film which has the teachers a tad bit on edge?
2) Well yeah, they are teachers. What two subjects do the two fighters in the film teach?
3) What instigates the titular fight?
4) In a last ditch plan to avoid the the fight, how does Charlie Day attempt to dispatch Ice Cube?
5) So … who wins the fight? Also, more importantly, who wins the talent contest?
Bonus Question: I’m putting my finishing touches on the Collateral Beauty sequel when my new agent David calls up. He sounds distraught. What does he want?
Answers
1) It is the last day of school, but more importantly it is Senior Prank Day which is really seeming to escalate. Instead of a single prank though it is like … pranks all the time. Which seems aggressive.
2) Charlie Day is an English teacher, and Ice Cube is a history teacher.
3) Hoooo boy this is a long story I feel like. Charlie Day helps Ice Cube with some AV issues in his class, but that turns out to be a prank. When the prank escalates, so does Ice Cube in a terrifying manner which culminates in him hacking a desk apart with an ax. Ice Cube then confronts Day and demands that he cover for him for whatever blowback he’s going to receive … needless to say Day does not do this (also fearing for his job) and so Ice Cube is going to beat the shit out of him. The end I guess? Nope wait, late Ice Cube reveals that he doesn’t give a shit about his job, but now it is to make the point to the students that actions have consequences. And even later he doesn’t seem to give a shit about even that, instead he’s now wanting to make a point to the world that the administration is so bad that it is even pitting teacher against teacher in a brawl … works though.
4) He decides the only way to resolve the situation is to frame Ice Cube for drug possession. So first he buys some Molly from a student and puts it into his bag, and then he gets himself into trouble as well when, not realizing drugs can’t smell Molly, he has to smoke Marijuana to get the cops to conduct the search in person.
5) By all accounts Ice Cube wins the fight, but it is very long and Day has like … a moral victory. And assuredly the daughter does not win the talent contest … but it is like a moral victory.
Bonus Answer: Oh, the head of David’s agency wants to see us about the new project we are going to be working on … okay. But when we arrive he is a veritable stormcloud. “One of you guys screwed me, you just took my project right out from under me. So … who did it?” We both look nervously, but this seems non-threatening, “It was David, my new agent … I mean, like … you did it right?” The producer explodes and fires David on the spot, whoops. As we leave David looks over … uh oh, I don’t like the wild look in this guy’s eyes. “You, me, fight, today, 3PM.” A f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-fight!? But just then I have a brilliant idea, and I think I have just enough time to do it too. Later, as the clock strikes three, we meet in the agency courtyard. How did all these people hear about the fight? And … when did David get ripped? “Oh, you didn’t know? David is the UFC Welterweight Champion, but he was thrown out for smashing too many faces.” Gulp. Well, time to unveil my foolproof plan. Just as the fight is about to start I pull out a gun and shoot David directly in the chest. Everyone falls silent … “Like in Indiana Jones?” I say timidly. A chuckle breaks the silence, then a clap, and soon it is a full roar of applause as they carry me out of the agency and into the street. Daaaaaaaaaaang … I need a new agent.
The film is called Fool’s Fight and it is a mash-up sequel to Fool’s Paradise and Fist Fight telling the hard hitting tale of how the Hollywood machine chews up and spits out young screenwriters.
Bad Movie Twins 