Oh man, get this. I know aliums exist. That much is obvious. So I strolled into Men in Black Inc. and they nueralized me! I think. I don’t remember. I actually don’t remember anything. Do you know what happened in Men in Black: International?
Pop Quiz Hot Shot!
1) Our hero is working at a call center but really she wants to be working at Men in Black. How does she know about them?
2) She’s now a probationary officer! Hooray. And she finagles her way into what seems like a pretty sweet mission. What is it?
3) Well obviously they are going to be terminated. Neuralized likely … unless … what about a mole hunt!? Everyone loves a mole hunt. Who is the mole?
4) I feel like we might have a serious unnamed MacGuffin here. What does the … thing that Jarvis gave M and why do people seem to want it?
5) What wild fucking coincidence. While out and about meeting with Agent H’s old flame (an arms dealer) who does Agent C meet from her past?
Bonus Question: I was just finishing up Men in Black: International when my new agent Isaac calls me up. What does he want?
Answers
1) When she was a kid she saw and alien and the MiB f-ed up and didn’t erase her memory. Since then she’s been training to join the FBI … or CIA … or whomever maybe the MiB works for? But nows the time, because the aliens are back, Jack!
2) Well they just have to go out on the town and show some Jababian royalty a good time. Oh … wait, whoops, he got killed … by The Hive. Well that is unfortunate.
3) Well … one would think they are trying to fake us out and that Chris Hemsworth is the mole. But it seems pretty obvious to me that it is probably Liam Neeson aka the actor who probably has no interest in continuing to be in this series. Let’s see if I’m right (I am).
4) Well, they want it because its a super powerful weapon. Like a condensed blue giant star kind of powerful. But surely there is some other reason Agent H’s old flame wants it … right? WRONG. That’s it. Just a big ol’ weapon. A weapon that can kill the hive, but very disappointing it doesn’t have a name like The Starblaster or something.
5) Awwwww it was the little alien from the beginning of the film. And it turns out that alien is quite dangerous and offered to kill whomever she wanted in exchange for his freedom. Well, time to pay the piper … not with death, but instead with just helping them out of a jam.
Bonus Answer: Shhhhh, he says urgently. Don’t say a word, just meet me at the place with the thing in an hour. When I see Isaac he looks quite nervous. “Patrick, thank god you are here. The agency has been taken over by an alien invasion called The Nest! They are looking for this ultimate weapon. Here, take it and meet me at the Eiffel Tower.” Noice, Vegas. I love Vegas. But like an idiot he doesn’t even show! Whatever. Time for some slots. A week later a rather disheveled Isaac finally finds me up big in my high roller suite in the Bellagio. “Oh hey, what happened to you? I went to Paris, but you never showed.” “You moron, I meant the real Paris! Whatever, do you have the weapon?” I shake my head, “Oh I forgot that back in one of these casinos, but I bet we’ll find it in some lost and found.” By this time I’m not really liking the wild look in this guy’s eyes. All four of them. Wait a second! “Dang, you’re The Nest aren’t you?!” “Jesus Christ, obviously, I just needed you to get the ultimate weapon out of the country, but inste-” The sentence is left unfinished as his head explodes. Oh neat, the MIB. What’s this, look at that little device? That’s fun. Right before my brain gets scrambled I think: Daaaaaaang, I need to find a new agent.
It is called Men in Black: Hive Mind and I only realized later that I was just plagiarizing Men in Black: International. Live and learn I guess.
Bad Movie Twins 