Oh man, so get this. I was haunted in my dreams by a serial killer again. But he was like … worse looking and didn’t scare me as much. Anyways, he popped out from behind some steam pipes and bopped me right on the head. Now I don’t remember a thing. Do you remember what happened in Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)?
Pop Quiz Hot Shot!
1) Awwww and here I thought we’d be having a Kellen Lutz bonanza! Instead he’s the one who manifested Kreuger into the world again via the power of storytelling or whetever. Regardless, he ends up being the first victim. How does he die?
2) Well, surely Lutz’ girlfriend (just good friend?) will stick around to avenge his death! Whoops, nope, not her either. She’s now the second victim. How does she die?
3) Alright, so they are going to exonerate him after he defeats Freddy, right? WRONG. He’s dead. Where and how does he die?
4) Oh good, they’ve cracked the code on the Freddy mystery. Now all Quentin has to do is stay awake and wake up Nancy … aw fuck! Quentin you blew it! Ultimately how does he wake Nancy up?
5) And you know you can’t make a remake of a horror film without copying that sweet twist ending. This time how does Freddy reveal that the nightmare will never be over?
Bonus Question: I was dreaming a dream of fine things (well … all the sweet sequels I was going to write, the usual) when all of a sudden my agent pops up in my dream. What does he want?
Answers
1) He slashed himself (it looks like) in the neck. In reality in the dream he picks up the knife to defend himself and but Kreuger (being super buff I guess?) get the upper hand and stabs him. The score is now 1-0.
2) Well, they kind of copy the original here and she dies in her sleep getting all slashed up and framing her boyfriend for murder. Lame, I know the kill is iconic, but that is all the more reason to avoid copying it, the original was such a complex practical effect is seems impossible whatever CGI trash you replace it with will pale in comparison.
3) Well, claw hand through the chest natch. Seems to be a decent go to move once you can sneak up on people perfectly using dream powers (if only we had some dream warriors to fight this guy with!). And it all goes down while he’s trapped in his holding cell in prison.
4) With that Chekov’s stolen Epinephrine. Which seems very dangerous and not how one should do that, but whatever. She goes into the dream and so does he accidentally, then Freddy slices him up, but he wakes up from the pain presumably. And he is able to wake her up and then they chop him up with a paper cutter blade, and burn his body up.
5) When Nancy gets home Freddy comes out of a mirror, puts his hand through her mother’s face, and pulls the mother into the mirror. WHOOPS. Not as good as the crazy Freddy car, not by a long shot.
Bonus Answer: He wants me to write a new reboot of the Nightmare on Elm Street series. Weird … I’ve already written a few, but I suppose fourth times the charm? We need to breathe a little fresh air into this franchise. So here goes. We open with the usual. Someone feels haunted by a specter and the dreams, well they are a bit too real to be believed. After getting blown off by her father (the chief of police) she talks with her friends and realizes they too are being haunted. Her father though really can’t give her the time of day, there was a murder of one of her friends and the father is investigating. As the investigation heats up, the bodies start to pile up. One by one, the haunted teens are killed in their dreams until only our hero is left. She, the daughter of her father, has already done some investigating. Long ago, there were a string of murders in the town, but suddenly they stopped, unsolved. She thinks, my god! My father was the principal investigator, he killed the guy. But after following her lead to a local factory she realizes all of the parents are there and in an argument with the man in her dreams (in the flesh!). Turns out, all those years ago the teens’ parents struck a deal: spare our children specifically and we, as the police, will look the other way for whatever other murders you commit. But Kreuger strikes a bit too close to home, and the chief decides to finally be rid of him, without realizing the supernatural power Kreuger now possessed. Before she can stop him her father murders Kreuger by burning him alive. That night Kreuger comes to her in her dream and kills her, revealing the reality that he can now live beyond death in the dreams themselves! Da da da.
Obviously I would call it like Nightmare Origins and a small twist on the original origin story where the whole town is ultimately condemned to hell, ruled by the pure evil they created in the serial murderer Freddy Kreuger.
Set in Ohio, brought to you by Dell
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I do kind of dig what they are getting at near the end. It is a unique take. Which is that the longer you stay up the closer dream and reality merge to the point where Freddy can just exist in the world again. I like it more than the handwaving nonsense the films tended to end up in.
Bad Movie Twins 