Saw III Recap

Jamie

A clue has appeared! Since I spent Saw II espousing the franchise’s place in Franchise Man lore, I’ll have a little fun with this intro and continue the (probably never ending) saga of me trying to figure out what film reminded me of the plot of Gothika. We can officially rule out Gothika itself! Why? Just check out a previous entry on a great website called BadMovieTwins.com. In the preview for The Animal (which was written a little late as usual on July 9th, 2023) I made the following statement: “Maybe Kevin James was a secret serial killer so it was OK that they kicked his head clean off. But it wasn’t the case. Kevin James was not a secret serial killer. He wasn’t even a secret serial killer who only killed serial killers. No, Kevin James was just a successful actor that people liked to watch.” This is clearly a riff on what I was reminded of in Gothika. That she got off scot free just because after the fact it was revealed that he was a terrible serial killer and everyone decided it was totally cool that she murdered her husband with an ax. So now I have an upper limit. I had thought maybe it was related to Exorcist III, but no way. I had never seen that film at the time… what is it?! Gah!

To recap, Saw is back, Jack! And boy is he… playing even more games. But it seems like there are some games out there that are impossible to escape. That’s not Jigsaw’s way. His way is to make it only 99.9% impossible. Hmmmm.At the same time a doctor is captured and is told that she has to take care of Jigsaw. He’s basically donzo because of that brain tumor he keeps going on about. She had to keep him alive or her head will explode. He really just needs one last guy to go through his game. It’s Jeff, a grief stricken dad that is obsessed with vengeance. No good! Gotta get over that and appreciate life. In his game he is continually confronting the people that played some role in the death of his son. Instead of helping these people immediately he hems and haws and Jigsaw is like “told you so.” But slowly he gets his groove back even though Jigsaw’s games are dumb and keep killing the people he’s forgiven. In a final twist-em-up it’s revealed that his whole plan was really a test for Jigsaw’s apprentice Amanda, who has been rigging the games. She shoots Lynn, but is then shot by Jeff as he complete’s his game. Turns out he’s Lynn’s husband. Jigsaw is like “you get it, bro?” and Jeff is like nah, and slices his throat. As John dies the room is sealed and it’s revealed he also captured Jeff’s daughter and so… that’s a bummer. THE END.

Pretty much everything about the second film goes for the third as well. These are bad movies, but I also understand why fans enjoy and appreciate them. They cracked a formula. I just wish the franchise that was getting sequel after sequel in the 21st century wasn’t Saw, but rather Friday the 13th. That’s just a more fun franchise. My biggest issue with the later entries in the series is that they do seem a bit excessive in just how stupid the traps are. First of all many of them simply do not give the victim enough time. It’s like “Yank off all your fingers in 25 seconds or you DIE.” Even if the victim was super gung ho about ripping fingers there would be no chance. Second of all everything is just far too painful. I would just accept death. Dig into my eye for a key in the next minute or I die? How about no time limit. How about I eventually dig into my eye for the key and we’re cool. Otherwise it just isn’t worth it. I’d rather die without having dug into my eye because the time limit gives me almost no shot. So it does start to strain credulity. But I guess I should at least answer which is the better of the films, the second or the third… I think it’s the second, although the ending of the third is better just because it’s just crazy enough to work on me. I just can’t forgive how stupid, predictable and poorly acted the third one is.

Hot Take Clam Bake! I do not for a single second buy that Amanda is the only known survivor of Jigsaw. First of all, all the traps are dumb and basically inescapable. Second of all, what about the first Saw? The doctor left the room… I don’t recall ever finding out that he bled to death or tripped and fell down some stairs or something. The real point is that unless Jigsaw made her trap the only escapable trap then someone else would have gotten the gumption up to survive. And as well all know if you survive you are so grateful that you become enamored by the old dying guy who trapped you in the first place and become his apprentice. It’s the law. So he obviously rigged her trap so she survived because he wanted her as an apprentice and not a thousand other dumb apprentices along with her. Hot Take Temperature: A scalding hot cup of tea that contains piranhas with a thousand keys in their stomachs, but only one unlocks the beartrap on your head. You have 37 seconds.

Patrick?

Patrick

‘Ello everyone! Saw her? I never even knew her! It’s Saw III. Let’s go!

Oh boy, now this is the Saw I know and hate.

Straight up, this movie makes no sense. Pointedly a lot of the traps are not intended to be solvable, that is the whole issue Jigsaw has with his replacement, but even the traps that are meant to be solvable the guy just waffles around and then either fails or barely gets by them! It is nuts. Let’s cover people with pig guts. Let’s twist people’s arms and legs until they break. Let’s freeze a fully nude woman. These are the good traps. You heard that right, those are the GOOD Jigsaw approved traps. The woman made those traps and Jigsaw was like “that’s more like it, good job.” Horrible. Strike one: these puzzles are dumb as shit.

The style of the Saw films are a little like flop house chic. A real deal Derelict featuring Derek Zoolander. Remember when there was a time where people were totally into people living in squalor. Like that was considered cool? Se7en remembers. Fight Club remembers. The Torture Porn genre really was the last hurrah for that style I feel like. Strike two: this movie looks like crap.

As amazing as it is that Tobin Bell managed to break into the mainstream when he was 50, but I really don’t like Shawnee Smith in these films. Her character is necessary, but I do wish she was somehow more interesting. I suppose if you are going to be a lunatic you necessarily don’t have your shit together, but still, I would have expected better from a character who I imagine they thought they could at least try and anchor a sequel with. Strike three: Jigsaw is bad at recruiting.

So there we go three strikes and Saw is out. Pity we have to watch like ten more of these things.

Now this installment has a Worst Twist (How?) in the ultimate reveal that Angus Macfadyen, the guy who is in the main boobytrapped house, is the husband of the doctor who is kidnapped to “save” Jigsaw. Naturally, she has no real chance to save Jigsaw, just keep him alive long enough for Macfadyen to arrive and have to decide whether he should kill Jigsaw. He does, and so his wife dies. The End. This movie is closest to BMT, it is truly a horrible piece of garbage in the best sense of the word.

But what else can you learn from watching Saw III? Find out in the Quiz. Cheerios,

The Sklogs