Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo Quiz

Have you ever thought to yourself: I probably am the foremost authority on Deuce Bigalow, I just wish there was a test to prove it! Well wish no more, because Pop Quiz Hotshot!

Pop Quiz Hotshot!

  1. Deuce Bigalow meets Antoine the male gigolo and charms him with his … knowledge of fish I guess? Anyways, Antoine entrusts Deuce with the care of his apartment as he goes on a three week business trip. Where did he go?
  2. It turns out Antoine should not have entrusted his very expensive place to a literal garbage person whose one character trait appears to be sexual assault, because Deuce immediately destroys the apartment. In addition to destroying the very expensive fish tank, he also nearly burns the place down. How does the fire start?
  3. Deuce Bigalow manages to be a very successful gigolo, without actually having to have sex (the romantic storyline with Kate would have been a bit odd otherwise). How many women, besides Kate, is he hired to entertain?
  4. When Deuce goes to the pet store to accost poor Allison, the clerk, what animal does he always order in order to, *gulp*, get her to dip her breasts into the tank so he can very obviously ogle them.
  5. When Deuce accidentally picks up a prostitute in a bar (before having a Matrix style fight with her) what two drinks does he order?

Jamie is sadly a foremost Deuce-Bigologist, how about you?

Answers

  1. He went on a three week sex business trip to Switzerland.
  2. Deuce Bigalow decides to attempt to use Antoine’s inversion rack while … making a grilled cheese sandwich? The bread lights on fire which in turn … lights a giant pile of Girl Scout cookies on fire? Jesus Christ. Also he bought the Girl Scout cookies because he accidentally turned on porn and then inexplicably answered the door. He had to bribe the child to make her not tell her parents.
  3. There are six women. The main four are Carol (who has narcolepsy), Fluisa (who is extremely obese), Tina (who is extremely tall), and Ruth (who has tourette’s syndrome and is afraid of socializing). Buuut his first client is an older lady who has a dog who tries to attack Deuce. And he is also hired by Detective Fowler’s unsatisfied wife who really only wants to see people dance in speedos. One point for the main four, one extra point for each of those last two.
  4. Sea snails. He makes her get him the deeper ones from the “cooler” tank. In the words of Adam Sandler only four years prior: that’s assault brotha!
  5. He orders a martini with two olives and, after learning this costs $8.50, a plain cranberry juice for an addition $3, both from Norm MacDonald.
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