Shake yourself awake from your Assassin’s Creed induced slumber. Can you remember anything? No? Well don’t worry, you have an Animus that’ll allow you to desperately access the already half-forgotten plot of the film you literally just watched. Do a steroid cycle, lube up those now chiselled abs, it’s time for Pop Quiz Hot Shot!
Pop Quiz Hot Shot
- After the opening credits we see Cal (Michael Fassbender’s character) as a child. Where does he live?
- We then see Cal now a prisoner on death row. What crime did he commit?
- Cal goes into the Animus three times during the film. What three memories (roughly) does he going into from his ancestor Aguilar’s life?
- In the film the Marion Cotillard plays the head of the Abstergo Foundation, whereas Jeremy Irons is a high level administrator within the Templars. What is there personal relationship?
- Close with an easy one: Ultimately where was the Apple of Eden hidden by Aguilar?
- Baja California, Mexico. I have a feeling this was meant to explain why Fassbender could understand Spanish, although they never really acknowledge that this might be necessary … this movie is a true mess.
- He murdered someone. But wait … it was a pimp. Ta da! See, now you don’t have to feel bad for rooting for him. He just murdered a pimp … wait a second, is that better? Not really! That’s still murder!
- The first time involves the attempted rescue of the Prince of Grenada who has been discovered hiding out in a Spanish village. After being captured, the second involves his daring escape from his public burning as part of the Inquisition. And finally, the recovery of the Apple of Eden which was being protected by the Sultan and was to be handed over to the eeeeeeeeevil Templar Priest, Tomas de Torquemada, in exchange for the Prince’s life! I honestly cannot believe I remembered all that. This movie is supremely confusing not to mention boring.
- Easy one, but they are father and daughter. Which I guess is why Cotillard has kind of a faux-British accent going on the whole time.
- It was given to Christopher Columbus who was instructed to take it to his grave. He took this literally instead of doing the logical thing (throwing the Apple into the middle of the Atlantic Ocean), and they easily recovered the Apple in Madrid from Columbus’ tomb.
Naturally like a stealthy assassin Jamie snuck in and scored perfectly. I think in the sequel they should reveal that Fassbender has a twin brother, who can also access his ancestor Aguilar’s memories! Oh what hijinx the Animus will get into this time!?