You ready for a true-blue cross country roadtrip with the girls?! Well hop on in, sing some karaoke, and hope you can remember anything about this heartwarming coming-of-age tale.
Pop Quiz Hot Shot!
1) Justin Long and Britney Spears get miiiiiighty close to doing it. Unfortunately for him she gets cold feet (to go with his blue balls, heyyyyyyoooooooo). In a last ditch effort to drum up some confidence she has him read three items from the list of reasons for them to have sex. Name at least two, bonus if you get all three.
2) Instead of having sex with Justin Long, Britney Spears instead goes to dig up a time capsule (almost as cool, whatevs) with her besties. What item did each of the girls put into the time capsule. Bonus if you can name the fourth and final item as well.
3) In a true-blue cross country bonanza Britney and the gang grab Anson Mount and drive to California. Where did the trip begin, and what two other states play a major role in the trip?
4) Throughout the film Taryn Manning is pregnant, but not by her boyfriend. Who knocked her up and how?
5) Let’s finish with an easy one. What Britney Spears smash hit was Crossroads presented as a kind of origin story for? She sings it at the end when (spoiler alert) she smashes it at the singing competition.
Answers
1) First, they were lab partners for three years. Second, they were both eighteen and had never done it. Third, they both want to do it. Trust, need, and desire, a holy trinity of doing it reasons, and yet he can’t seal the deal. All the while we are expected to believe ultra-nerd Justin Long has a six-pack. The most unbelievable part of this film.
2) Britney Spears put a locket with a picture of her mother (who she wants to go see), Zoe Saldana put in a bridal Barbie (she wants to get married), and Taryn Manning put in a globe keychain (she wanted to see the world, but specifically move to California). There was also a picture of all three of them once upon a time when they were besties.
3) They started in Georgia. They then break down in Louisiana (where they sing for their supper … er … for a new radiator plus labor). They stop in Arizona to see Britney’s terrible mother as well.
4) She was raped by Zoe Saldana’s fiance Dylan when he was back from UCLA during Christmas break. They figure it out because, as people are wont to do, Dylan drinks the same extremely distinctive blue-bottled beer as the rapist … as people do, you know? They drink their personal unique brand of beer at all times … that normal thing people do.
5) I’m Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman. Presumably after smashing it she doesn’t become a doctor. Little did they know that she was destined to save the life of the next baby Einstein and the world became a significantly worse place because of Anson Mount.
So which is it? Are you a girl, getting all of the answers wrong? Or are you a woman, who also got all of the answers wrong. Or did you hit that sweet spot like Jamie (not a girl, not yet a woman) and get all of the answers right?
Bad Movie Twins 