Jaws: The Revenge Quiz

After your husband and son were attack and killed by a quiz you realized “wait on second, maybe the quiz is hunting us!” That is right before they locked you up in an asylum. But what if you were right? … You aren’t, but what if you were? You still aren’t.

Pop Quiz Hot Shot

1) In the beginning of the film Ellen Brody lives on Martha’s Viney- … er, Amity Island with her youngest son soon after Martin Brody passed away. How did Martin Brody die?

2) After her son dies she heads off to live with her son Michael in The Bahamas. What does Michael do for a living? What does his lovely wife do for a living?

3) Once down in the Caribbean Ellen starts to hit it off with Hoagie, the lovable pilot who bums around town. What two concerns does Michael have about Hoagie though?

4) Michael and his bestie Jake (Mario Van Peebles) get a glimpse of Jaws and decide to track him. But why do they do that instead of immediately warning everyone?

5) How do they defeat the dastardly Jaws?

Answers

1) From a heart attack. But as Ellen Brody says, it was mostly from the stress from all the sharks he encountered in his life. So isn’t it like Jaws killed him? Like … figuratively though, isn’t it like that? No? … But what about like … as a metaphor though?

2) Michael is getting his PhD in presumably marine biology, but is currently operating on a grant to study the movement of conch in the Caribbean. His wife Carla is a sculptor. An artist and a scientist?! What an odd couple!

3) That old scamp has a debilitating gambling problem. That rascal! Oh ho, and Michael seems quite concerned with how he makes his money. Hoagie claims he flies laundry between the islands, but you get the feeling Michael thinks drugs might be involved. But don’t worry guys … Hoagie is good for Ellen …

4) Jake wants to track the heartbeat and other vital information about the Great White Shark. This (1) seems to have not been done before, at least not on a specimen of this size, and (2) is the first example of a Great White Shark ever seen in the waters of The Bahamas and thus is also a scientifically interesting sighting.

5) Jake builds a powerful electromagnetic pulse which they get Jaws to eat (before getting eaten himself, oops!). Michael then uses it to debilitate the shark as it interferes with its natural navigation mechanisms. Ellen then rams him with the boat, which pierces … something in his stomach, and Jaws’ head explodes. And guess what? Jake totally escaped from Jaws, so that’s nice, good for him.

So, did you hop in your sailboat and hunt down the quiz … uh, I guess eventually exploding its head using something it ate maybe? It was hard to tell, but the quiz’s head exploded for sure and it is totally dead. Or, did you get all chomped up by the quiz in the Edgartown har- … er … Amity harbor?

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