Star Trek envisions a world where money no longer exists and humans explore the stars on missions of diplomacy. Similarly, in 2063 it is believed that BMT will also take to the stars to find the worst movies from alien cultures. Until then, take this quiz.
Pop Quiz Hot Shot!
1) We open the film with Captain Kirk climbing a mountain. What cliff is he climbing and where?
2) Throughout the film there is a Klingon Bird of Prey following the Enterprise. Why?
3) When they get to Nimbus III Kirk has a brilliant plan: Pull a little switcheroo with Chekov playing the part of capitan while the rest of the essential crew wanders around on Nimbus III like goobers … er, I mean, the away team goes down and smashes it. But alas, they need a distraction to infiltrate the facility. What do they use as a distraction?
4) The key to Sybok’s power is in his ability to find your greatest pain and help you come to terms with it, giving you a state of bliss. What is McCoy and Spock’s greatest pains?
5) So obviously they get to the center of the galaxy and find God … wait is that right? What actually was at the center of the galaxy?
Answers
1) He is climbing El Capitan in Yellowstone national park. Oh, hell yeah he was: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DEDtCgn1SvA
2) Klingons culture is based in honor and war. And naturally there is nothing honorable than facing a great foe and vanquishing them. And there is no greater foe to the Klingons than the great Captain Kirk. So, for reals … screw that dude tho. He wants to defeat Kirk and get that sweet honor.
3) Uhura quickly slips into her handy burlesque feather dancing costume and sings and dances the way that makes the guys go crazy. And crazy they do go! Man they are distracted. Nichelle Nichols was pissed about the scene because they dubbed her singing, which I’m sure was beautiful.
4) McCoy helped his terminally ill father die weeks before a cure was found (oops!). Spock, as it is known, believes himself a giant disappointment to his father. With the context of the rest of the series, it isn’t really his birth itself (Sarek loves humans), it is more that Spock was emotional and the discrimination by Vulcans made Sarek’s life difficult (coming to a head when Spock decided to choose Starfleet over the Vulcan academy, which was legit beneath Spock, although that story was from the new movies I think). Phew … but yeah, those two things.
5) Uh … some prisoner of some kind. Some being trapped there hoping to get a starship to fly away from his prison. This doesn’t quite explain why they could, alone, penetrate the barrier, but perhaps Sybok, a true master of mind melding, came closest to being able to will the barrier open as the creatures who formed it oh so long ago could in ages past … that is legit a giant guess, but honestly there isn’t a very good explanation either way.
Were you a dastardly Klingon, killing indiscriminately. Or were you Kirk … wait, he also kills a bunch of people, and also does some seriously problematic stuff with the ladies. Are we the baddies? Whatever, for now Klingon = bad, Kirk = good. Which were you?
Bad Movie Twins 