I’m going to go ahead and assume you’ve seen Bridget Jones’s Diary, I mean, it was an instant classic when it came out. But, did you see the sequel(s). Well then …
Pop Quiz Hot Shot!
1) Later in the film we see Bridget Jones team up with Hugh Grant to present some travel series in Thailand. But before that we see Bridget Jones present another segment. What is she doing in this segment?
2) On what question did Bridget Jones totally bottle the lawyers’ supper quiz (BTW bottle is a British term akin to botch)? What answer did she give, and what was the correct answer?
3) Where did Colin Firth and Bridget Jones go on their weekend ski holiday?
4) For how long do Colin Firth and Bridget Jones go out before unceremoniously breaking up?
5) Finally the entire film ends with Bridget Jones getting rescued from a 15 year stint in a Thai prison (Not. Fucking. Joking). Try your absolute best to remember the lengths Colin Firth went to save her.
1) She is presenting a skydiving segment. This naturally goes somewhat awry, first with Bridget forgetting to open her chute until being reminded by her producer, and second by landing directly in a pig pen which for absolutely no reason is directly next to the spot she is supposed to land.
2) The question was: What was Madonna’s first UK single? Zellweger insisted that everyone thinks it is Holiday, but that it is in fact Lucky Star. … The answer is in fact Holiday! What a goober!
3) They went to Austria. I would accept Germany, but the question is eminently gettable because everyone in this very small ski town speaks German and can’t understand Bridget Jones at all.
4) They are going out for eight weeks. How do we know this? Bridget Jones thinks she is pregnant because she realizes she is quite late (she figures this out because her and Colin Firth have been banging uninterrupted for two months) and states it. They break up literally the moment they return to London.
5) We are vaguely told that he first called a bunch of British diplomats who couldn’t help unless the actual bad guy was apprehended. Darcy then flew to Lyon to locate the bad guy with the help of Interpol. They informed him that the bad guy was in Dubai, but they don’t extradite from Dubai. So Darcy got on the horn with a few more people, who impounded the bad guy, and they got him across the border to Saudi Arabia where British authorities arrested him. Once arrested and charged in Britain it was a matter of having Bridget Jones identify him, thus satisfying the normal condition to get the Thai authorities to drop the charges against her.
So which were you. The garbage man Hugh Grant getting Thai prostitutes so no discernible reason (possibly because you have a sex addiction)? Or are you Colin Firth, literally the most perfect individual ever created and got them all right?