Huh, last thing I remember I was super great at swimming which had attracted a scary swimfan. Do you remember what else happened in Swimfan?
Pop Quiz Hot Shot!
1) In the beginning of the film it is revealed that a big scout is coming to check out our boy Jesse Bradford for a spot in the big leagues (well, D1 NCAA Swimming). Which school is scouting him?
2) But in strolled Madison, the new girl in school, with whom Jesse immediately has sex (for some reason), and in the pool no less (gross). What weird thing does Madison make Jesse do while having sex with her?
3) During the next week or so Madison does some pretty crazy shit to Jesse. Can you name the four craziest things she does. Remember … this is all happening in like … a week.
4) And then Jesse, with his trusty sidekick weirdo-cousin-of-Madison, discovers Madison’s deep dark secret about the boy she left back in New York. What was it?
5) In a final twist how does Jesse get out from under all of this mess he’s kind of brought onto himself by cheating on his girlfriend (a true morality tale guys …)?
1) Stanford. And this doesn’t please his girlfriend much because she’s already going to Rhode Island for school (probably Brown). But maybe she can go to Berkeley, and they can get a devastatingly expensive apartment together and everything! Although, I guess they’d want to live near Stanford, Jesse is going to be at Stanford to swim not to “school”, and his girlfriend can just not schedule early morning classes … I’m thinking about this too much.
2) She makes him say he loves her. Even if he doesn’t mean it. It is weird as fuck, but Jesse’s like “It’s not like this girl is a psycho and will try and ruin my life or anything, so … I love you babe” like an idiot.
3) Alright, so the top four craziest shit she does is (1) almost kill an old man to get Jesse fired from his job (2) dopes Jesse with steroids to get him thrown off of the swim team when the Stanford scout comes (3) actually kills Jesse’s rival Josh to try and frame him for murder and (4) runs Jesse’s girlfriend off of the road using Jesse’s car to, again, frame him for murder. Along with a lot more general crazy behavior.
4) That boy back home is in a coma. Now, I think it is up for debate. Did she baseballfan him like a crazy person and put him into the coma? Or did they, two people madly in love, get into an accident which caused Madison to just go plain mad? I think it is the first, but Fatal Attraction makes me want to think it is the second.
5) Having the weirdo-cousin-of-Madison dress up as Madison’s ex-in-a-coma, they distract her just enough for Jesse to capture her and threaten her life. But she knows he’s too big of a wimp to kill her, and so explains all about all of the crimes she’s committed but he’ll get blamed for. But uh oh! Jesse’s friend-who’s-barely-in-the-movie is there with a video camera to catch it all. Check mate, roll credits. .. wait, there’s still 20 minutes left in the movie?!
Oh yeah, that’s right, the swimfan doped me, and framed me for a hit and run, and tried to kill my girlfriend, and then tried to kill me. That’s right … welp, onwards and upwards I guess, where’s my swim cap?