Oh man, get this, I was taking this experimental drug but then I took too much (like a goober!). Obviously the side effects caused me to fall down and bop my head. Now I can’t remember a thing! Do you remember what happened in Senseless?
Pop Quiz Hot Shot!
1) Well, in the beginning of the film we meet our hero. He has lot of jobs and lots of ways to get money. I count seven things.
2) Smythe-Bates Brokers prizes their junior analyst positions. But in particular they prize three specific things. What are they?
3) Protocol 563. What are the instructions? What are the consequences of overdosing?
4) After managing to get into the finals of the competition as an unprecedented sixth candidate, and getting into a frat, and becoming the star goalie of the hockey team, there is a final part of the competition. What is it?
5) Looking at that chart, what would the vice chair of the federal reserve do and why?
Bonus Question: Well well well, now Marlon Waynes is a true blue analyst on Wall Street. Good for him. In the mid-credits scene though he gets paid a visit by a mysterious, but familiar, stranger. Who?
Answers
1) Let’s see. He’s giving tours, washing dishes, delivering mail, and picking up trash to name the four I caught on campus. And then he’s giving blood, donating sperm, and attempts to donate hair to name four he did in his free time. That’s a lot of jobs. But as the philosopher Matthew Lillard says: without pain there can be no pleasure, right?
2) First, you need the grade point average, you need those grades! Then you … uh, need a sport? That’s a bit odd, but sure, for some reason you need to have a sport to become a junior analyst? Whatever. And then of course you need to be connected with fraternal social organization … wait, what? Doesn’t that preclude women? Well I suppose they mean like sororities and fraternities, but still that is crazy! The 90s were wild man.
3) He is to inject it every day, exactly 6ccs, directly into the buttocks, and when his serotonin is at its lowest, right before he goes to bed. Simples. The consequences of not doing that? Well, that would be the premise of the movie I suppose … fine, you end up not being able to use one of your five senses at any given time, to obviously very hilarious effect.
4) To go to a Knicks game? Basically Mr. Bellwether wants to really get to know everyone on a personal level, so he is organizing a social event (with prospective clients) for the six finalists. His event is a Knicks game, where they have floor seats.
5) Well, first of all he would raise rates, that’s for damn sure. The why? Well, due to Simon’s Theory, inflation is predicted by I = delta(MP) / t. So in those years (including this year) it demands correction.
Bonus Answer: Nick Fury!? That’s right, Nick Fury heard all about his Senseless powers, and he wants to recruit him into the Bad Movie Black Superhero Justice League … Thing. Shaq Attack is Back Jack! As Steel, we finally get to see the masterclass that is Shaquille O’Neal acting once more. And we got another Waynes as Blankman! He’s got gadgets and a robot … that movie was weird. And we got Meteor Man! That … well I never saw that one, but I’ve been told by Rotten Tomatoes that it is bad. But finally, they get their leader Senseless. He uses his heightened senses to earn money and basically he’s Batman because of that I think? I don’t think it’ll help with fighting (if anything his heightened sense of pain will make fighting all the worse), but he’ll have the cash on hand to create their Fortress of Solitude. The last piece of the puzzle, finally complete!
I think I’ll call the heroes The Protectors and thus the film will be Senseless 2: Protectors Assemble! obviously. And yeah, it is in the MCU since Nick Fury is there, you’re welcome.
Bad Movie Twins 