Jamie
I do enjoy going back and looking at The New York Times from the day when one of our BMT films was released. The Wedding Planner is a fun one because it’s January 26, 2001 and so there is a whole mess of Ravens-Giants Super Bowl content. But I wasn’t there for the Dilfer-Collins mildly entertaining milk advertisements:
I was there for The Wedding Planner and… meh. Just pretty much the poster and a couple choice quotes about how JLo has “it.” So per usual I went straight to the TV listings to see if any of the descriptions there were appropriate for the title at hand. Was The Wedding Planner “junk” like Night Shift? Was it “ornate and ridiculous” like Steel Dawn? A “crude morality play” like Any Given Sunday or “grindingly predictable” like The Crush? No, none of these. But the Jeff Fahey film Virtual Seduction probably gets the closest with “Trouble when man recalls fiance.” That about sums it up.
To recap, JLo is working hard (not hardly working) at planning the biggest and bestest weddings in San Fran. Working so hard, in fact, that she has no time for her own love life. That is until she’s saved by Matthew McConaughey, a handsome pediatrician who seems like a perfect catch. Just one problem: he’s engaged. Make that two problems: he’s engaged to her new client. So now she can’t lose the account or she loses her chance at a big promotion. Egad! What a series of unfortunate coincidences! Everywhere she looks McConaughey is being lame in a handsome kind of way. It also doesn’t help that at the same time her father set her up with Massimo, an Italian stereotype played by Justin Chambers in a horror show of a performance. Both McConaughey and his fiance have second thoughts, but JLo is too much of a pro to do anything but help them get to the altar. Even after McConaughey expresses his feelings for her, she’s like ‘no, I don’t even like you,’ and throws pebbles at him till he runs back to his fiance. Forlorn, she decides to marry the offensive, but also kind of sweet Massimo. On the day of the wedding, JLo forgoes the festivities to marry Massimo at Town Hall. McConaughey ends up calling off the wedding and is happy to find that JLo also decided at the last minute to stop her own wedding. They reunite and smooch for hours. THE END.
This is a tough one. On the one hand JLo is a shining beacon. So beautiful. So talented. She’s a catch. A perfect 10. I also found the film to be oddly well directed given that it was a first time director that went on to a less than illustrious career. But he seemed to have a clear idea of what he wanted to do with this and I thought he did it pretty well. On the other hand McConaughy appears to think he’s being charming in an aloof kind of way, but it comes across as smarmy and unpleasant. He’s a handsome guy who has a personality of a 2. Red flags on top of red flags. At this point the whole film would be a bit of a wash… maybe a slight positive even. But throw in Justin Chambers and, boy howdy. I like Grey’s Anatomy, so he will always be Karev to me. And thank goodness, because I’m sure he doesn’t want to be Massimo forever. Horrible. Just horrible.
Hot Take Clam Bake! The whole thing is a dream that happens after JLo is squashed by the dumpster. The last person she sees is handsome, lame McConaughey. In the last firing of her synapses we get The Wedding Planner. McConaughey is in reality a real estate agent who dabbles in day trading. He ultimately can’t reach her in time, but in a positive twist to the otherwise horrific tragedy this ends up helping him realize that his day trading is more of a hobby. He decides then and there to focus more on his real estate career, which is going OK since people seem to like him when he talks softly and smiles a bunch. Years later his wife, who he met at a local real estate convention, would catch him staring sadly at a dumpster and ask “you OK, babe?” and he would just say “yeah” softly and smile. Hot Take Temperature: Chilly, like the fog rolling off Frisco Bay.
Patrick?
Patrick
‘Ello everyone! The Wedding Planner? Well this forecast calls for rain! Let’s go!
I just have to say this off the bat. And to be clear, I am a happily married man, wouldn’t trade any of this for the world but … was turn of the century Jennifer Lopez the most beautiful woman ever? It is mind boggling. Literally, completely perplexing that she existed. Is it because of the built up Jenny From the Block persona? Were we all tricked into thinking she was just a girl-next-door and not a devastatingly beautiful and completely unattainable woman? This is the second movie where it is almost distracting how beautiful she is (the other being Money Train).
I’m sorry but I just have to make this 100% clear. While watching this film Jennifer Lopez is so attractive I looked at Matthew McConaughey and thought “Yeah, she’s out of your league bud”. I looked at him and went “unattractive, hard pass” because my mind was tricked by what an attractive human being was. He’s also a genuine garbage man, so what does literally-so-attractive-J-Lo-that-she’s-an-11 see in him again? Awww he works with kids … for one second, and then he pretty much immediately turns around and starts to think about cheating on his fiancee. Trash man!
Just one last thing though, like … J-Lo is so hard working that she can’t find a date. Once again, movie, you are incorrect. The many billionaires of the Pacific Northwest would have left their fiancees during the wedding once they glimpsed J-Lo (their wedding planner) in real life. Their fiancees would have taken one look at her and said “no thank you, you aren’t getting within 100 miles of my wedding.” Mrs. Sampras, are you dumb?
I guess wait … do I have a hot take? Hot Take! Mrs. Sampras knew exactly what she was doing because Mrs. Sampras, either unconsciously or consciously, wanted to sabotage her own wedding! She’d been hunting around for the perfect wedge to drive between herself and McConaughey and finally found it in this siren, J-Lo.
Oh … I spent the whole time talking about how J-Lo is too attractive to be in romantic comedies since there is no one that can actually be viewed as equivalently attractive while standing next to her. The movie is pretty fun, for a romantic comedy, even if the wedding at the core is very messy and muddled and they never quite make it clear that the two people like each other at all.
I suppose one bone I’ll throw to them is that they did somewhat successfully save Sampras from Baxter-ization by having her break it off with McConaughey instead.
And that bone is taken away by Justin Chambers as Massimo, an Italian caricature who doesn’t belong in any movie, let alone this one.
Definite amazing Product Placement (What?) for M&Ms which play a prominent role in the courtship between J-Lo and McConaughey. Setting as a Character (Where?) for the somewhat inexplicable setting of San Francisco when L.A. would have made much much much more sense. And obvious Worst Twist (How?) for the ultimate get-together at the outdoor film screening at the art museum. Closest to Good I think, although I would hear arguments otherwise.
Read about the long awaited sequel in the Quiz. Cheerios,
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