Oh jeez. So here’s the thing. I’m part of the Footclan. Great benefits. But then, seriously, a giant turtle popped out and bopped me on the head! He knew karate!!! Well, needless to say, I don’t remember a thing. Do you remember what happened in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze?
Pop Quiz Hot Shot!
1) So where we left off in the first film was that the turtles had succumbed to that all too common plight of the city: homelessness. Where are they living at the moment?
2) Wait … but what is the secret of the ooze?
3) What does the (kind of) hero scientist do to sabotage the dastardly Shredder’s (back from the grave (aka the dump)) plan to create mutant monsters to defeat the turtles?
4) And ultimately what are the turtles’ plan to destroy the mutants in order to defeat shredder?
5) The plan does work BTW, but there is a problem they only realize while listening to that bumping Ninja Rap being performed live at the rundown docks (?) by Vanilla Ice. What is the problem and how do they solve it?
Bonus Question: Wait … where was Casey Jones this entire time?
Answers
1) In April O’Neil’s apartment naturally. Now … I suppose she is some high powered reporter and lives in the garbage part of town the Turtles are from .But still, her apartment is enormous!
2) The secret was that that’s what made the Turtles! That long ago they all took a bath in the ooze and that is what made them all big and mutant-y.
3) He makes them babies! He like changes the formula on the fly to make it so that their minds don’t grow as fast as their bodies, so so they came out as baby mutant monster … fox / snapping turtles.
4) So the turtles at some point free the scientist, which is helpful. They bring him to their new lair, and Donatello (who does machines) and him create a formula that will reverse the mutant ooze’s effects. And so they freeze those into cubes and then pop them in donuts to give to the mutants during their big cage match.
5) The issue is that the way the formula works is by its interaction with carbon dioxide. But these baby mutant creatures are burping a bunch (ha!). So they have to pin them down and blast them with fire extinguishers to make the formula work. Et voila! Fox and snapping turtle are back jack.
Bonus Answer: Glad you asked. You see he’s real into hockey. So you know he has to make one last attempt at his minor league hockey career a la Gordon Bombay. So you know he’s in Thunder Bay Turtles. The turtles?! He really can’t escape those guys. Anyways, he’s an enforcer (natch) so he really only beats the crap out of people, and the eeeeeeeeeeevil owner loves it. He’s raking in cash and has a secret deal to sell the Turtles off to a franchise in Dead Horse Alaska. But one catch … in order to get the deal through they need to see Casey Jones score a goal. Well, no problem, I’ll just pay off the refs to give him a penalty shot and pay off the goalie to let it in. But Casey Jones gets wind of it, and as he is tripped on his way to the goal he instead takes a microphone and goes to center ice. “Your greedy owner wants to sell your beloved Turtles to Dead Horse, but he made one mistake … he needed me to do it. Well I’m not going to cooperate. I’m going to stand here and filibuster until I’m thrown out of the game.” The refs look at each other and shrug, whatever, they toss him and the owner shrugs and is like “I think the deal will still go through, I bet this is fine.” And it was, they were sold to Dead Horse and Casey Jones’ career was ruined (although he was never going to make the big leagues, let’s be real here). So he goes back to NYC just in time to see the gang get sent back in time.
The end. This is a short series just called Casey Jones. The reviews were like “wait … where’s the Turtles? I don’t get it. F-”.
Bad Movie Twins 