Oh man, so get this. I got all jazzed up about going to war against Canada. But then when I got there and starting littering this Mounties came over and were all like “Soooooory”. Needless to say I now have a concussion and can’t remember a thing. Do you remember what happened in Canadian Bacon?
Questions
1) In the beginning of the film our … uh heroes, are hoping to fish suicides out of the Falls in Niagara Falls, NY. How much do they get for a body and how much for saving someone?
2) Meanwhile, the President is in real trouble. His poll numbers are dropping and he doesn’t know what to do. Why are his poll numbers dropping?
3) What is the initial plan to turn the American people against Canada? How is it foiled?
4) Honey is caught littering just over the border and is taken to Ottawa. Why does Honey go to Toronto after escaping?
5) What does the Hacker Hellstorm do? What did the Canadians think it did? How is it disabled?
Bonus Question: In a surprise announcement a sequel starring Kevin Pollack as the new President of the United States was announced recently. What was his main platform issue he ran on?
Answers
1) They, amusingly, get $100 for fishing a body out, but only $50 for saving someone. Well, lucky for Roy Boy they aren’t complete garbage people and they decide to save him at least.
2) Because he boring yo. For real, they thought he had died at one point and his numbers went up a bit, but then went down again because people realized it didn’t matter if he lived or died. He just can’t get any traction without an enemy like Russia to get people riled up.
3) A false flag. Classic. They are going to break into a hydroelectric plant in Niagara Falls and film themselves messing with it, but fortunately John Candy and his buddies decided to guard it against those dastardly Canadians! Foiled, and yet they still, for whatever reason, think Canada was behind it.
4) Due to non-stop propaganda against Canada Honey has, like Richard Dreyfuss in Close Encounters, become obsessed with the CN Tower in Toronto. So obviously she must go and check it out once she escapes from the hospital in Ottawa.
5) Well the Hacker Hellstorm controls remote deployment of all warheads in America. Yeah, it is pretty intense. The Canadians think it’ll give them better weather forecasting. And it is destroyed when Honey discovers it and in a fit a rage at seeing her old company Hacker she shoots it up.
Bonus Answer: Global warming. But here’s the thing … also Canada’s fault! Don’t you see, they want their country to be the United States. And the best way to do that? Change their climate to the United States climate. Toronto will be sunny Miami, and Baffin Island will become their Manhattan! It is dastardly. Well, you know what that means? We have to figure out how they did it and reverse it, and that means an invasion and war yet again. And who better to lead the investigation into the methods behind this plan that Honey and Boomer, now key parts of the National Security Council (albeit in mostly ceremonial positions given that they are, you know … morons). They of course accidentally reveal a conspiracy by the gas and oil companies to strip and drill the natural resources out of the Canadian wilderness, and end up (accidentally) completely unraveling it, complete with a brazen act of (accidental) eco-terrorism on Honey’s part when she manages to disable the major oil pipeline being built straight through a nature reserve.
It’s called Canadian Bacon 2: Hot War and it is free streaming exclusively out of a server in my basement (depending on how well my Kickstarter does).
Bad Movie Twins 