Oh man, so get this. I was taking care of my 10-year-old nephew (who looks 40, long story), and it turns out he’s a psycho (clinically). He smashed my head in with a brick when I told him I had to postpone a trip we had planned. Now I can’t remember a thing (including our plans, he’s furious!). Do you remember what happened in Clifford?
Pop Quiz Hot Shot!
1) In the beginning of the film Clifford is an old old man in 2050 and trying to help a wayward youth (like he once was) to realize that being intelligent doesn’t mean you can manipulate people and get your way, that forgiveness is the way to earn the respect and love of those around you. Anyways, what crime did the little boy commit that he’s trying to help out?
2) Flashback to a story about Clifford as a 10-year-old. He’s on a plane with his awful parents just as it passes Dinosaur World (hooray!). Naturally Clifford causes an in-flight emergency that necessitates an emergency landing. Where was the plane headed though initially?
3) Well, lucky for Clifford’s parents his uncle is in town and (coincidentally) looking for a young boy to take care of to prove to his girlfriend that he is a family man. What is Martin’s job? What is his girlfriend’s job?
4) Clifford does four things to embarrass Martin at his future-father-in-law’s house in increasing aggravation. Name all four.
5) Naturally, once Clifford blows up Martin’s model, Martin goes insane and attempts to murder Clifford at Dinosaur World. What does Clifford do to ultimately earn the forgiveness of Martin?
Bonus: Question: At the end of the film old man Clifford walks away from the home for wayward youths a happy man … but oh ho, he gets a call. From whom?
Answers
1) He has, apparently, attempted to blow up the gymnasium. Presumably there were people inside, but regardless it also caused issues with the use of the gymnasium and the other children are thus very angry at this boy for doing that because they all, evidently, like to play basketball like the all-American youths that they are.
2) Hawaii. Clifford’s father is perhaps a salesman or even professor? It is indicated he is to give a lecture in Hawaii and he just cannot imagine being able to with Clifford (a bona fide sociopath) running amok.
3) Martin is an architect. He designed things like Dinosaur World, sure, but his dream is to build the perfect mass transit system for Los Angeles. And his dream is coming true, he has the presentation in just a few days. Martin’s girlfriend runs the daycare for the firm that Martin works for, and I would imagine that that is how they met in the first place.
4) Well, first, when they come in Clifford loudly asks what a facelift is which shocks the nearby women talking. Second, Clifford then goes with Sarah to get a drink, and replaces Martin’s Bloody Mary with just a glass full of pure Tabasco sauce. He then proposes that Martin give a speech and when Martin drinks from the glass he can’t finish it and everyone is shocked and appalled at his behavior. Third, Clifford replaces the chapstick Martin has been conspicuously and liberally using throughout the night with lipstick and everyone laughs and laughs and laughs at him. And finally, he has previously set up a final confrontation in which the police arrive and arrest Martin for threatening the party with a bomb.
5) He writes Martin a ton of letters. But they all go unanswered. That apparently isn’t the reason he is forgiven. Actually, Clifford seems to do nothing. Sarah just eventually invited him to her and Martin’s wedding and everyone lives happily ever after or whatever.
Bonus Answer: Oh it is his good friend Martin Jr., Martin and Sarah’s son. But what is this? He is having some trouble with the 10-year-old son? Well, that certainly calls for some attention from uncle Clifford I would think. He flies out to Los Angeles and … what a terror! His name is also Clifford (after Martin Jr.’s favorite uncle) and is played by an AI generated young Martin Short (naturally) and looks even creepier than in the original (naturally). Clifford (the younger) is obsessed with the new theme park opening up, Dinosaur Universe, and Clifford (the older) knows just what to do: take him to Dinosaur World to teach him that what is old isn’t to be discarded, but to be cherished. But when they arrive in their flying car (it’s 2050 remember?) Dinosaur World is a disaster, a run down and depressing junk heap! Reluctantly they go to Dinosaur Universe which is an incredible experience, complete with robot hotel with role playing actor employees … it is both everything Clifford (the older) could have ever dreamed or wanted as a child. Clifford decides to leave, but at the airport Martin Jr. meets him and explains that well … he just made a big deal, and his family gets a ton of royalties from Dinosaur Universe as the original designers of Larry the Scary Rex … so what does he say to buying Dinosaur World and revamping it. Flashforward several years and what is old is new again. Nostalgia is in, and Dinosaur World is once again thriving having been lovingly restored by Clifford (the older). The End.
Obviously this is the core story, there are a ton of hijinks and whatnot on the way to Dinosaur Universe … possibly there is a big chase scene there and we split this franchise into two parts. But we’ll cross the vertical integration possibilities when we get there. It is called Clifford 2: Clifford Universe and is exclusively playing at the Museum of Modern Art as a 24/7 exhibit on consumerism and how it is destroying our brains.
Bad Movie Twins 