Oh man, so get this. I was jetting around at the lake on my jetski when I fell off and really bopped my head good. Now I can’t remember a thing! Do you remember what happened in Fools Rush In?
Pop Quiz Hot Shot!
1) We open with our hero arriving triumphantly back at work from Miami at Christmas time. He’s off to Las Vegas now, but his real dream Club Dolphino would be centered where?
2) Well, whatever he’s in Las Vegas. And we got a meetcute on our hands! Where do Hayak and Perry meet for the first time?
3) Welp, now they have to get married, she’s pregnant. But he doesn’t really want his parents to know. Where does he say they are off to for the whole summer?
4) In the end he does successfully open Club Dolphino Las Vegas. Why is it a problem for him to go to his dream position on the Fourth of July though?
5) Well, he’s just got to have her though, so he jets off to Mexico, but alas, he’s too late! Where does he find her?
Bonus Question: Twenty five years later we meet up with Hayak at a dinner. Why is she going out to eat?
Answers
1) NYC. Club Dolphino HQ is in NYC and presumably their first club as well, but some bigger and better club is evidently planned and Perry wants in. He’s got to have that Dolphino NYC! He must!!
2) In a bathroom line. She’s on the phone breaking up with her not-boyfriend (for seemingly the millionth time). By the time she gets off she realizes that, whoops, the line is super long and she’s got to go (now). Perry is a gentleman about it and seems quite annoyed, but ultimately he let’s her cut the line and in the end they party it up and have sex.
3) Europe. But they aren’t. He knows they hate Europe in the summer (and who wouldn’t? It is horribly hot and no one has air conditioning. It is an express ticket to Heat-strokes-ville). They are in Connecticut and end up hearing through the grapevine that he’s in Vegas and decide to come out and see.
4) He promised Hayak that he would stay in LV until the baby was born. But the due date isn’t until October. So he’s a tad bit screwed it would seem. But oh, lucky, actually they break up after getting into a fight and then she pretends to have had a miscarriage so … uh … good?
5) He knows that her and her father would always stop right on the Dam in between Arizona and Nevada (on the line that actually doesn’t exist in real life), and so he can’t think of a more romantic gesture than to stop here there. One problem … the baby’s coming now! Et voila, now he’s a dad, and also they are divorced since at midnight their marriage was dissolved. Whoops.
Bonus Answer: Well … we missed our chance for the real sequel, so let’s open instead at a family dinner with Salma Hayak and her two children as the celebrate the life of her husband and their father. At this dinner, naturally, Hayak’s son announces that he is going to marry his girlfriend. Hayak, of course, is happy but … are you sure? Isn’t she a bit … unsurprising? Oh, you’ll learn to love her mother. But a sign from above, when he arrives back in NYC to help coordinate the beginning of Club Dolphino II, Grey’s Papaya explodes nearly killing him. During recovery in the hospital he gets to know another survivor of the Great Grey’s Papaya Explosion of 2024, and boy she is just wild! She has a crazy big family, and sees all these signs everywhere, there is really something about her, and she feels the same way too as they get to know each over an extended NYC themed montage. Finally, as they prepared to go to the Cape where he plans to propose, he ends up with cold feet … can he? He can! He runs from the heliport just like his old dad and meets up with his dream girl just as she is about to board the Staten Island Ferry. Awwwwwwwwww.
Obviously it is called Fools Rush Out and RIP Matthew Perry. I would have definitely put you in a 25 years later sequel with Hayak if I wrote this a few weeks ago.
Bad Movie Twins 