Oh man, so get this. Turns out my entire life was actually me being hypnotized. Also turns out this level of hypnotism is basically just the equivalent to getting kicked in the head a bunch. So yeah, I have a massive concussion and can’t remember a thing. Do you remember what happened in Hypnotic?
Pop Quiz Hot Shot!
1) We open with our hero in his therapist’s office. Why is he there?
2) Well, they are off to a bank robbery. How does the robbery go down?
3) How mysterious. Pray tell how did they hear about this robbery?
4) Yada yada yada what is this all really, like what is the actual deal with Affleck and his daughter and junk?
5) But … why do the hypnotists want Affleck’s daughter so much? Why is she important?
Bonus Question: I guess we know the sequel set up, Fichtner is going to come and yet them … right?
Answers
1) I suppose you could argue there are two distinct reasons. The first, of course, was that he’s discussing the fact that his daughter was kidnapped. But mostly it seems like he is getting assessed in order to determine whether he should be allowed to be a detective again. Which evidently he is because his partner is here to pick him up.
2) Well, you see. William Fichtner is a hypnotist. So all he has to do is make a woman in the street all hot (literally) and she walks into the street as a distraction. Meanwhile Fichtner talks to a few armored truck employees and a bank teller and he’s in like Flynn, ready to get that … uh, note? Whatever. Affleck though knows something is up, so he initially gets the note first and ends up chasing Fichtner down. How mysterious.
3) They got an anonymous tip. Specifically, it turns out, from a fortune teller. Are we going ultra supernatural?! Is fortune telling real?! Nope, she just happens to also be a hypnotist. So they are off!
4) It is all a ruse! Don’t you just love when the entire movie you just watched is just nonsense and the real movie wasn’t the movie the whole time? I don’t. But that’s what we got. Affleck and his wife (the fortune teller) are being hypnotized to reveal the location of their daughter by the gang of hypnotists lead by Fichtner.
5) Well it turns out the daughter is a weapon of mass destruction. Like almost literally. Turns out when you are do goddamned good at hypnotism and then have a baby that baby is like a super hypnotist and can like … hypnotize the whole world or something. Don’t worry. They kill Fichtner in the end … or do they?! Nope, they accidentally kill Fahey instead, and the world entered a one year state of mourning for Hollywood legend Jeff Fahey.
Bonus Answer: Wrong! It’s a double twist. The sequel opens with Fichtner walking away from the camera before fading away and the dead body of Fahey slowly coming to his feet. That’s right, there ain’t no way they are just tossing aside Hollywood royalty like Jeff Fahey like that. He hops on his motorcycle (hint hint) and jets off into the sunset. Fast forward a year and Familia de Affleck seems to be all cozy. They are helping people out like a regular family of superheroes, trying to right the many wrongs of their hypnotic kind. But suddenly, what’s this? They hear about a string of bank robberies which can only mean one thing: Fichtner. But we know better because when they get to the next robbery a masked figure (obviously Fahey, be we are still heavily into dramatic irony, so we never see his face), who easily defeats the family with hugely hypnotic powah!! After the robbery they regroup and think through, what could Fichtner (remember … that’s who they think it is, but it is still Fahey, we know that) want? As they piece things together and what is missing from each bank they realize shoot … he’s going to kidnap the president. As they arrive at the White House they are there just in time to see the masked man leaving with a captive President. He laughs and unmasks. FAHEY?! They are shocked. We aren’t though because we knew it was Fahey … until everything melts away. Wait … Fahey was Fichtner, Fichtner was Fahey, talk to me people! But yeah, we are back at the beginning where Fichtner was really just thinking through his plan to capture the president under the guise of himself secretly under the guise of Fahey. But the actual movie portraying all that will have to wait for Hypnotic 3.
It’s called Hypnotic 2: Beyond Cyberspace. And yeah, it turns out to entirely be a dream obviously.
Bad Movie Twins 