Jamie
Who watches The Watchers. Apparently we do. And Live! no less. This is one of those BMT Live! films that will likely live in infamy. It’s our third out of four films for the year and do we really think we won’t get two more bangers in the next half a year? Not really, but there is a logic to our madness. The first point is simple math. There have been an unusual (at least for recent history) number of poorly reviewed horror films this year. Films like Night Swim, that seem like they should garner at least a “meh,” are getting slammed. So we gotta get a horror in and the closer you get to Halloween the more likely the studio has confidence that it’s good. The second point is that once we get into the last cycle of the year we could always watch a film in theaters for the cycle itself, as it by definition fits. Anyway, that’s how you end up watching The Watcher. Let’s go!
To recap, Mina is a saddo living in Ireland because she’s never gotten over her role in the death of her mother which has left her estranged from her twin sister. She’s tasked with delivering a rare parrot to a zoo (for real) and ends up lost in the forest. She’s ushered into a strange concrete bunker where she is told she must stay during the night or The Watchers will get her. Bum bum bum. This turns out to be true as that night they come and they all have to show themselves to these mysterious Watchers. From there Mina does a bunch of exploring and shows that she is much more daring than her comrades, Ciara, Madeline and Daniel. She explores some tunnels and takes some of the Watchers’ junk and that makes them unhappy. Ultimately Daniel locks Mina and Madeline out because he doesn’t trust them and this also makes the Watchers extra angry. Once back inside they realize that the Watchers are going to break in and kill them. At the last moment Mina finds a secret door and they figure out that the whole place was set up by a professor. In his lair there are details on how to get back to the real world. They also see that the professor befriended the creatures, which are fairies that can shapeshift. The next morning they are able to escape, losing Daniel on the way. Back in the real world Mina tracks down the professor’s old office and in it realizes that Madeline was the professor’s wife who had passed away. In reality the Madeline she knew was the shapeshifter that the professor had interacted with. She runs to Ciara’s house where Madeline is already lying in wait. Before she kills them, though, Mina is able to convince her to let them live and to go find others like herself instead. The monster is like “good point,” and flies away. THE END.
After having seen the film, the merits of this as a Live! film are harder to defend. The best it can do is prove that Ishana Night Shyamalan has the talent to be a good director. The look and atmosphere of the film are solid and it’s pretty darn impressive for a mid-20’s director. So no need to worry about nepotism too much… unless you really think about the fact that a pretty half-baked film was greenlit for a feature. It probably should have been a short film or an episode of TV or a straight-to-Shudder flick. That being said, it’s really a rather forgettable film with some merely OK acting and a classically bad Shyamalan twist. It’s also Lady in the Water level on-the-nose regarding what the concept of the film is… Like they live in a little concrete box where one side is a glass screen and every night the watchers come and watch them and oh… Also, the only thing they have to watch in this bunker is a box set of some made up reality TV show. Are you getting it yet? It’s about reality TV and escapism.
Hot Take Clam Bake! Uh, obviously she was dead the whole time. One does not simply get lost in a deep dark forest where a bunch of other people have disappeared and live to tell the tale. They certainly don’t live to tell of a weird concrete TV that they had to live in with a bunch of other people where they learned to accept the death of their mom and reunite with their estranged twin. Convenient. But it’s all much simpler than that. Do you know how I know she was dead the whole time? Because fairies aren’t real… dumb. Hot Take Temperature: Lair of Love.
Patrick?
Patrick
‘Ello everyone! The Watchers? More like I don’t want to Watch-its, amirite? Let’s go!
Naturally with, somehow, film releases being a family affair for the Shyamalan family we felt the need to go watch this film in theaters.
Because normally I think we would shy away from dunking on a film made by a young director just trying to make her way in the world one second unit directorial effort at a time.
But here we are, reviewing a very slight film with a kernel of an interesting idea: what if fairies were real, what if they were evil, and what if you were trapped with them?
But mostly the movie is boring with a fairly foreseeable twist, an unnecessary fourth act that takes place in the real world, and not particularly good acting. The acting was so odd I was stunned to learn the star (a grown up Dakota Fanning) is actually nominated for an Emmy this very same year. Quite a comeback. I don’t think she has much to do here though.
And naturally the whole film being an allegory for people watching actors in a giant television set and mimicking them in the real world … yeah, I think there is something there, but the whole thing feels very on the nose.
All that being said the movie is pretty, has a nice set piece, and the kernel of an idea could serve something that could be built off of if Shyamalan wants to push further into the Sci-Fi-Fantasy realm.
Setting as a Character (Where?) for Ireland which makes for quite the stretching needed to explain why Dakota Fanning is American. I do like a living breathing MacGuffin (Why?) kind of, with the Queen of Bavaria Parrot Fanning is inexplicably asked to drive to Belfast. And of course you can’t have a Shyamalan film without a Worst Twist (How?) in the reveal that one of the people being watched is, in fact, a half human / half fairy who will be destined to unite the two worlds together in the end. This movie is boring and Bad and just not worth it.
I’m trying something new in the quiz where everyone will get to learn about the Emmys, the Queen of Bavaria Parrot, and other stuff. Cheerios,
The Sklogs
Bad Movie Twins 