Jamie
I can’t even imagine how big of a sensation The Mighty Ducks was. Mostly because, while the film was obviously a huge part of my cinematic life, it came out at a time where the memory of its actual release is hazy. Almost like The Mighty Ducks was always. And think about this, the film was such a sensation that there is still a major pro sports team named the Ducks. That’s Jurassic Park status. Anyway, it’s hard to parse these types of films from nostalgia. It’s why we avoided things like this (and Hackers) for a substantial chunk of BMT. How can we have anything from love and affection for The Mighty Ducks? And yet at a certain point it became undeniable that these films must be given the BMT treatment. For the sake of history. And so here they are, destined to win a Freddy Got Fingered award.
To recap, Gordon Bombay is a high powered lawyer. Sure he has a past life as a hockey-loving phenom with a dad who just wanted him to love the game with all his heart. But when that dad died, so did that love of fun. Replaced with a love of that sweet green, a need for speed and a taste for a couple of road sodas. Uh oh! Those road sodas come back and bite him when he’s pulled over and (given his general ‘tude in the courtroom) sentenced to *gulp* coach Peewee hockey! Mr. Ducksworth, this has to be a joke. That’s how he finds himself coaching the ragtaggingest ragtag group of nogoodniks this side of the Twin Cities. Things start out rough, but Gordon’s old friend, Hans, reminds him to recall the fun in hockey and he gains the trust of the team. Amongst this group is Spazway (a.k.a. Charlie Conway) who Gordon sees something in and takes under his wing. What’s that? He also has a smoking hot single mom? Oh my, Gordon hadn’t noticed, but now that you mention it… Anyway, this group is jokesters who don’t even really know how to skate, so Gordon goes out and finds even ragtaggier kids to join the team and help out. Things start coming together, so Gordon uses his lawyer skillz to find out the star player from the eeeevil Hawks, Banks, should be on his team. Blinded by his need to get one over on the Hawks’ eeeevil Coach Riley, Gordon inadvertently insults his entire team and they quit. Faced with this and the possibility of losing his job over the Banks fiasco he realizes that he doesn’t want to be a lawyer anyway. Suddenly the team is back in and they are marching to the championship. In the big game the Ducks are overmatched but play to a draw and Charlie gets a penalty shot to win it (Spazway!). Using Gordon’s patented Triple Deke, Charlie wins the game. THE END (or is it? (Nevveeerrrrrrr!)).
Is this film good? I’d like to frame this from the vantage point of Franchise Man. The Big FM would want you to understand the crux of The Mighty Ducks: marketing. Every movie is in some way about the Ducks being exploited by larger forces but ultimately coming through because of the exact opposite of marketing: genuine fun. Gordon Bombay has to forget what got him into this in the first place. He was in trouble and to get out of trouble he would coach the team. The team sucked, so to help them not suck he got his law firm to sponsor them. Ultimately, in all three movies(!), the film itself chooses fun rather than acknowledging it. They could have had Ducksworth come up and apologize, but no. Forget all that. All in all, though, the film is really weird. It’s like 85% saddo Gordon Bombay. I did appreciate the accuracy of the sports scenes in the end. Only the climactic goal is sorta fudged. They imply Bombay could choose anyone to take the penalty shot and have him explicitly choose Spazway. That doesn’t make sense with the rules. Overall, pretty middling, but an A+ for nostalgia.
Hot Take Clam Bake! You know, I don’t think Bombay and Charlie’s mom are going to make it. First of all he’s about to venture forth on a quest for the NHL as a thirty-something year old 5’7” rookie who (allegedly) quit playing after Peewee hockey. I’m thinking he won’t have much time to be there for a single mom working as a waitress to provide for her son. Second of all, she’s cute and the single guys of the Twin Cities are probably ready to pounce while he’s off toiling away on the Kalamazoo Wings. Third of all they totally whiff on Charlie’s last name in the credits of the film (Conroy? Come on)… so I don’t think they’re putting much stock in the character. Hot Take Temperature: 10,000 Frozen Lakes.
Patrick
‘Ello everyone! *Gif of me totally beefing it on the hockey rink, but then a second gif where Coach Bombay teaches me soft hands, but then a third gif where he starts dating my mom, but then a fourth gif where maybe I’m happy he’s dating my mom because then Coach Bombay would be my dad maybe? But then a fifth gif where he stops dating my mom and we never mention it again* Let’s go!
The Good? This movie. That’s the entire review I think we’ve said enough here. But for real, the strength of the original Mighty Ducks is that it is that thing that existed since the Bad News Bears (I think) where it is an ensemble kids’ film. Disney is just doing Disney things and snatching up bonafide kids superstars (Danny Tamberelli anyone?) and hanging an entire franchise on someone I would say is probably a Kid Actor Hall of Fame candidate in Joshua Jackson.
Speaking of which, since there isn’t much else to talk about with this film in terms of BMTness or badness, there was a question on Reddit where someone asked why kid actors on television often turn into abominable teen actors. I think the answer is fairly obvious: When you are a kid actor they often play to your strength early in a series. Namely precocious quips and one liners. Once you get to later seasons of a show and you start getting paid more (presumably), you are expected to handle dramatic scenes yourself. The kids who are the actual stars of their shows (Blossum, Corey from Boy Meets World, etc.) are often fine because they were cast to hold their own in these heavier scenes. But the actors who start as just window dressing to the main star of a show (e.g. the three kids on Home Improvement), they can get a bit dicey as time goes on. Now why am I mentioning this here? Because Joshua Jackson did get a bit dicey as a teen, but he was still good enough to transition to a elder teen on Dawson’s Creek, and has had a pretty impressive television career since. That’s what these movies need, and the entire kid cast is pretty great in the original.
The Bad? Nothing? Naw, sure. The actual thing is that they really get wild with some of the stats. At one point they suggest Bombay scored like 200 goals in a youth hockey season … Do they know how many games they play in youth hockey? I don’t think it is like 80. Somehow I think they are suggesting Bombay was scoring like 10 goals a game. Somewhat unrealistic.
The BMT? Naw, it is actually pretty offensive this even qualifies. This movie is a genuine banger. Great movie. Would watch it again right now.
I think we maybe have a Planchet (Who?) here in either Lester Averman (although people aren’t really dunking on him, more like just laughing at him, he’s true comic relief) or Goldberg. A great Setting as a Character (Where?) for Saint Paul, MN (at least in part, the place Charlie’s mother works is definitely in Saint Paul). I’m making up a new category for Slo-Motion Childhood Tragedy (Why?) for Bombay missing a penalty shot in the finals of the Twin Cities Youth Hockey Championship, his dad dying, and him quitting hockey all in the same year. ROUGH. This movie is Good, get the fuck out of here.
Learn all about NHL teams probably in the Quiz. Cheerios,
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