Every once in a while we watch a film for BMT that is immediately vaulted into the BMT HoF. It’s rare, but films like Getaway, Here on Earth, Ghosts of Mars, Endless Love, Battlefield Earth, Old Dogs, etc. cross so far into the absurd that we can only watch with glee. Color of Night is one of those films. From minute one this film makes no sense. It is clearly the product of a madman and how no one stopped it during filming (or at the very least before release) is a mystery that will probably never be solved (hint: it’s probably cocaine). Regardless, it exists. And thankfully so, for it is a wonder.
Legendary is what it is. I have never seen a film where every aspect is terribly done. Plot? Acting? Music? Makeup? Screenwriting? All of it top tier craziness. It really is the best. Just the best. One of the seven wonders of the BMT world.
For the game I’m going to do another Tril-oh-geez (I’m loving this game even if no one else does). Mirrors played a major role in Color of Night and it’s not the first BMT film to prominently feature mirrors. So here is the official Mirrors Tril-oh-geez:
- Color of Night – seems like it’s used in this film to make a connection between the characters Rose and Ritchie. While Willis talks directly to Rose, the viewer sees her through a reflection over his shoulder. When Willis talks in the presence of Ritchie he is seen in a similar position over his shoulder, but in this case Willis never speaks directly to him. Perhaps a meditation on the difference in how people treat the characters based on their genders or stations in life. Perhaps Willis is blind in more ways than color. Perhaps.
- I Know Who Killed Me – clearly the mirrors were used here to show how Lindsey Lohan’s characters are reflections of each other: the good life and the bad life, everything reversed.
- Torque – they are used here cause it’s super rad.
I love getting different genres in the Tril-oh-geez. This isn’t the most exotic with an erotic thriller, horror thriller, and action but I still like it.
‘Ello everyone! Color of Night? More like Color of Shite! Am. I. Right? (I sang the last part). Wow. Wowwy wow wow. Wowzers wow. These moments. The Endless Loves, the Over the Tops. These moments remind me of just how insane the 80s/early 90s were. While we tend to stick to recent bad films, sometimes old school movies need to teach us some shit, because I have opinions:
- The erotic thriller. Once a majestic, powerful genre now relegated to movies like Obsession and the occasional Tyler Perry joint. At one point in time these movies could make serious bank. If they made sense. This one did not.
- The soundtrack is insanity. Do I love it? Is this my favorite movie ever?! Am I going insane!!?
- I cannot stop thinking of Color of Night. It absorbed my thoughts for days. What is wrong with the world where this could happen?!
- Straight up Bruce Willis penis. You legit see the tip bobbing around in a pool. Why? Director, explain yourself!
- The “twist” isn’t really a twist, but they kind of act like it is. It was very confusing because I didn’t know whether I was confused. You know?
- Snakes in the mailbox, hot shot macho psychologists, cuckoo bananas LAPD detectives, and weird lesbian storyline. My life no longer makes sense.
- IS THIS WHAT LOS ANGELES IS LIKE?!
- I didn’t even talk about the all important color blindness subplot.
I don’t know. I don’t know what to think. I need a sequel. Explain what this character is doing now. Did he marry Jane March? Has everyone recovered? Are him and the police officer best friends? Do they mountain bike in crazy tight compression shorts every weekend? Does Bruce Willis still live in his recently deceased friends house and drive his car around and take on his clients as if this is normal and not highly suspect? I need to know what a 50 year old version of this character is doing. Color of Day. I’ll make it for free. I’ll pay Netflix for the privilege of making it. Jesus Louise.