Ouija Recap

Jamie

Laine Morris is struggling with the apparent suicide of her closest friend and ropes a group of teens into attempting to contact her through a mysterious ouija board. Instead they unintentionally awaken an evil spirit. Can they subdue the spooky ghost before it’s too late? Find out in… Ouija.

How?! When Laine Morris’ BFF forever Debbie dies in an apparent suicide she is shocked. Laine is tormented by the fact that she didn’t get to say goodbye, so when a mysterious Ouija board shows up she decides to communicate with Debbie one last time. Her friends and her gather together in Debbie’s house and think they’ve contacted her, only to realize too late that they’ve instead communicated with an evil spirit (Disclaimer: Hasbro does not support the use of its board games for communicating with evil spirits). Oh no! While the spirit kills them off one by one and grows stronger they race to solve the mystery. The find out that the spirit was a little girl murdered by her mother and they need to find her body and free her spirit to put her to rest. In a totally original twist that we definitely didn’t just see in the Ring franchise, it turns out that this was all a trick and they actually make the spirit even stronger. Double oh no! In a final confrontation Laine does battle with the spirit over a rousing game of Ouija while her sister is able to destroy the body. Phew. They did it… or did they? Bum bum bum. THE END.

Why?! The impetus for a bunch of high schoolers to gather together and play a little Ouija is entirely due to Laine wanting to have one last goodbye with her best pal Debbie. All the other teens are basically like “We’re only doing this because you are clearly struggling to process this tragedy and we’re here to help you.” Unfortunately this empathy gets them all killed. The spirit is just evil, having been driven mad through being used as a medium in seances. The spirits she communicated with told her to do terrible things and boy howdy does she.

What?! You mean besides the lame board game that this is a (really bad) advertisement for? Doesn’t seem like a super fun addition to game night. That is unless you awaken a spooky ghost who’s tormented only by its own enthusiasm for board games.

Who?! The editor Ken Blackwell makes an appearance in the film as Internet Expert… whatever that is. I don’t remember why there would have been an Internet Expert in the film. It also seems unnecessarily cruel that he had to show up on set and do a scene when they were also giving him a pile of useless film and making him edit it over and over with different stories and reshoots added in. Almost like the film was created as a form of torture for Ken Blackwell.

Where?! This film is set in California. It just obviously is. However I couldn’t make out the license plate clearly on my burn of the film so technically unknown. My theory is bolstered by the fact that the prequel, set in the same house as this film, is very explicitly set in Los Angeles. D.

When?! With how closely they seemed to keep the setting hidden (or more likely just didn’t care much about it), I thought for sure I would have to do without any inkling of when this took place. Not the case! In the age of cell phones you can always count on the possibility that a character looks at a spooky text and the date and time are in full view. That is the case here where we are informed that it is in fact March 8th. The cell phone date is the temporal setting equivalent to a license plate. Weak but precise. B-

You can tell by how little I wrote for the recap that the film is very basic. Pretty much as basic a ghost story as you can get. Take The Ring and strip away everything of substance and you might end up with something like this. It is also incredibly poorly made. Clearly taken apart, reshot, and put back together you can see where characters were inserted or changed throughout the story. It is actually so bad that it makes The Bye Bye Man look like a masterpiece in comparison. And that’s quite the feat since Bye Bye Man was hilarious. Patrick?

Patrick

‘Ello everyone! Hasbro wants those Marvel bucks (who doesn’t?) but their big greed is now your big problem. They need a hit to start their board game universe off right! Well … horror films are easy peasy and cheap as shit. Call up the cheapest director available, what could possibly go wrong? Let’s get into it!

The Good (Sequel / Prequel / Remake) – Uh … the movie is better than you would expect of a cut-to-shit horror film based on a board game. That is really really really it. For the good version of Sequel / Prequel / Remake I kind of want to highlight Ouija: Origin of Evil. So, the entire underlying story of Ouija (a mother dabbles in channelling ghosts, but her daughter succumbs to the evil they find in their dark magic) was completely invented during reshoots. You can kind of tell the movie knows that the background story is interesting, but they can’t really do much with it because they just didn’t have the material to fill the space. So, after the modest success of the film, they just made the obviously more interesting prequel. And it worked! The movie got 82% on Rotten Tomatoes and is apparently great! That’s crazy impressive stuff. I cannot wait to watch that film and see what they did with it, I’ll try and report back when I do.

The Bad (Tril-Oh-Jeez) – The acting is quite bad, all the way down to bad horror film all-star Douglas Smith from recent BMT The Bye Bye Man. The kills look silly and cheap. There is not a single moment in the film that is scary. The twist is obvious (don’t help the ghost girl idiots, you just got Ringed!), and it is clear it only comes about because the movie was cut to pieces desperately trying to get something other than an F cinemascore. As for the Tril-Oh-Jeez how about the don’t-help-the-little-girl-ghost trilogy with Rings, One Missed Call, and Ouija. Can we talk about these dummies and how they deal with ghosts. For reals … don’t help the ghosts. Oh, you have to help the child! You have to help her stop the mother! No. No you don’t. The mother hasn’t done shit for the last like 60 years. Why do you think all of a sudden it is your job to solve all this anyways? Obviously, helping the girl is what it wants. Obviously she is going to ouija your ass the instant you help her out. Y’all dumb. Don’t help the ghosts! … don’t help the ghosts!!

The BMT (StreetCreditReport.com) – Paired with The Bye Bye Man in close proximity the film has that Douglas Smith one-two punch. The brand of so-not-scary-it-is-actually-funny horror film would have probably bored me a year ago, but I find them somewhat fascinating now. Like … how do you manufacture a scare from a disparate set of not-scary shots I wonder. It has to be just impossible. Like … a loud sound and shake the camera a bit? Brutal. As for StreetCreditReport.com … amazingly there is nothing. You have a bunch of horror nerds complaining about how terrible the film is, but there is a somewhat surprising lack of acknowledgement in the media. I remember even we balked at bothering with the film at the time. Our mistake.

As far as the Adaptation is concerned? I mean … Ouija isn’t a board game. It is barely a board. So what can you really do with that? Honestly, if I were to give one decent compliment to the film, I would say they did a pretty good job making Ouija seem like a thing people do and think about. I could have done with a bit more ghost conjuring perhaps, a few more potent Ouija scenes, but otherwise as far as adapting Ouija is concerned … this was a good start. And they ended up making a very good sequel apparently! So I’ll give it a B. Solid prep for what ended up being a surprisingly adept adaptation in the prequel all for something that had no business being adapted into a movie in the first place.

Cheerios,

The Sklogs

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On Deadly Ground Recap

Patrick

‘Ello everyone. On Deadly Ground? More like Not Made For Patrick! Let’s get into it.

  • The Good – The directing was shockingly solid. You heard me right. Makes me think Seagal just didn’t like directing. The action was brutal, some of the practical effects were genuinely amazing, and the entire part with Caine is kind of strangely appealing in a cynical fuck-you-corporate-America kind of way.
  • The Bad – It often comes across as a barely film. McGinley is terrible. The lines often cross into WTF-am-I-hearing territory, no human beings would talk like this. An unnecessary hallucination sequence in the middle which is just baffling. And a crazy monologue at the end which could not have been more trite.
  • The BMT – Of course. But I was right, it is like a 40 (borderline but not quite legendary), not a 60. Nailed the Seagal Adjusted BMeT (SABMeT).

I kept that part short on purpose because something happened while I watched this film, and it kind of relates to the SABMeT. Every so often when I watch a movie I think to myself “oh this is unpleasant”. Usually it is with movies like Sabotage where I get physically repulsed by the amount of violence and gore on screen. I’m a sensitive lad. Super violent movies just aren’t my jam. That happened during this film. Which is weird. I’ve only seen two Seagal films (On Deadly Ground and Fire Down Below, both for BMT), but for some reason I had the impression he was like JCVD, whose movies I find far more palatable (and with super karate action! Is it karate? I honestly have no idea).

And then it struck me: “Oh, this movie isn’t made for me”. It appears (I assume) to be serving a niche underserved market. People who want to watch Aikido (or perhaps any martial art), ‘splosions, and people getting shot in the face and blown up by claymore mines in gruesome and unyielding detail. No wonder Seagal appears to exist in his own realm of movies. Such unpleasant films are few and far between I imagine. Get yo money Seagal. Get yo money.

No time for another game. I was going to do a Tril-Oh-Geez (landmines featuring Double Team and this gem: I. Am. Not. Joking. ). But I’ll just leave it here. So philosophical these last couple of week. Loving the One-and-Done Director Cycle!

Jamie

There is a set of actors in the bad movie universe (not the BMTverse… there’s a distinct difference) where I’m not totally sure why they are so appealing to their loyal fanbase. On the rare occasions that we actually watch one of their films, I like to take the opportunity to try to better understand them. Steven Seagal is one of those actors (Jean-Claude Van Damme and Tyler Perry are two others that I can think of off the top of my head). We have watched one other film starring Seagal (Fire Down Below) and I can tell you I did not understand his appeal AT ALL after watching that shit. But that was late Seagal. Not fat Seagal, but still late. His star was fading. This was the first true blue Seagal film I have actually ever seen (shocking, I know). And I can tell you: I now get it. Seagal is three things: swearing like a sailor, the environment, and gruesomely murdering people that he deems deserving. Can I see why people are into that? Uh fuck yeah (minus the whole environment thing, which is kinda a Seagal quirk). Am I into it? Not totally. While fun, I was getting a bit queasy around the seventh time he shot someone in the face at point blank range. Regardless, I get it. And that’s what BMT is all about.

One small thing to note is that this film didn’t just take place in Alaska. It is Alaska. I loved it. Great setting film.

Anywho, this movie was not based on a book (although two Seagal films are: The Patriot and Exit Wounds), but if it was it would be based on a book called The Rainbow Warrior where an Inuit warrior, Aklark, fed up with the oil company destroying his home, decides to fight back. While the oil company may have the firepower, The Rainbow Warrior has the power of nature behind him. The book is notable for the number of times that Aklark calls upon the animal kingdom to gruesomely murder someone, as well as a climactic scene where Aklark transforms into a bear and mauls the president of the oil company to death. Reviews for the book were… poor.

Zoolander 2 Recap

Jamie

I come here with somber news my friends. Patrick and I made a terrible mistake. Once the Great Gods of Egypt Disaster of 2016 was realized, we panicked and decided we had to (had to!) watch a BMT Live! film before it was too late. After all, the Stallonian Calender was fresh out of the box and still had that new BMT game smell. We couldn’t have it go off the rails in the first two months. So we ran into the open arms of Zoolander 2. Well I’m here to report that not only was the film not that bad (Not that bad! Not that bad! Not that bad!), we also watched it the week before London Has Fallen totally tanked with reviewers. God help us. Can we do nothing right? We may as well give up this whole endeavor and shut down the site now. But no! We will persevere! We will not let our loyal reader down! And with that we move ever forward.

In terms of Zoolander 2, I found it oddly absurdist considering the first film had absurd elements, but was at least seemingly rooted in reality. This type of shift in tone isn’t unusual. We’ve seen it with the Anchorman sequel and the Wet Hot American Summer series. Seems like with such a long time between the first film and the follow-up, the world is just in a different space comedy-wise. Necessarily you’re going to end up with a sequel that feels very different than the original. This can turn out well or not and I think Zoolander 2 came out on the slightly underwhelming side of things. Was it as good as the original? No. Was it totally not worth watching? No. At least I found myself laughing at several points (looking at you Kyle Mooney)… I just know that I probably would have laughed harder and longer if we had been able to watch Gods of Egypt.

For my BMTsolution this year, I will try to read the source material for all the films that we watch. Zoolander 2 is not based on a book, but if it were it would be a 1950s spy thriller series detailing the adventures of male model/international spy Zander (nicknamed Agent Z by MI6). Embroiled in the world of espionage he uses his perceived lack of intelligence to infiltrate the most dangerous of criminal organizations. Joined in the first novel by brother and sister folk singers Hansel and Gretel (curiously combined into the single character of Hansel in the film adaptation), he continues his adventures in the sequel in Rome attempting once again to foil the dastardly plans of Malaysian crime lord Mukashi. I found the book offensive due to the excessive number of ethnic stereotypes employed, but otherwise exciting and engaging.

Patrick

‘Ello everyone! Zoolander 2? More like It’s Not That Bad! It’s Not That Bad! Woooooooooooooo. This was pretty expected honestly.

  • The Good – The third act had some serious laughs. I still enjoyed the characters and they played the 15 years later thing pretty well. Once Will Ferrell arrives the movie picks up and it ends before his character (which had less non-stop exposure in the first film) got on your nerves.
  • The Bad – The cameos. But it wasn’t just the cameos, a lot of them were good and made sense. It was a specific moment. I get into it more below, but basically a two minute sequence in which Susan Sarandon, Willie Nelson, Katy Perry and (ugh) Neil Degrasse Tyson appear in an absurdly grating scene. That ejected me from the film. Also the product placement (Netflix and Uber in the beginning) in particular was pretty rough.
  • The BMT – Nope. Not only too good, but just didn’t feel BMT. Gods of Egypt? I would have been rolling down the aisles Pompeii style with that movie. Oh what could have been. This though? I enjoyed it reasonably. Laughed a bunch. I have no issue with Zoolander 2.

For this week’s game I would like to go with Tril-Oh-Geez myself. In this case it is, as of now, incomplete. The first leg is missing, but here goes. Basically, the aforementioned cameo immediately dropped the movie from Good to Okay-Kind-Of-Shitty. So here we go.

Movies Ruined by a Single Scene (Beginning-Middle-End edition)

  • Beginning – [Missing] (Jamie’s note: Conan the Destroyer? Opens with a lot lot lot of callbacks and unnecessary comedy bits, but then picks it up a bit in the middle and up to the end. That’s the most recent one where I felt like the critics probably were out from the beginning, but it wasn’t the worst and I didn’t totally understand the reviews. They seemed ready to pan it and took their chance with the beginning.)
  • Middle – Zoolander 2 – The cameo scene really knocks the movie down a notch and comes completely out of nowhere. Until that point I was thinking to myself “these cameos aren’t that bad! What are the reviewers talking about?”
  • End – The Call – The immediate ending (literally the last 5 seconds) of the film changed my opinion of the movie from “Wow, that was a legit good thriller!” to “Nevermind, that movie is literal garbage and I’m angry now”.

I’m not sure about Conan the Destroyer, but hey, it is always nice to have a complete trilogy. I’ll have to mull on it.

Cheerios,

The Sklogs

Color of Night Recap

Jamie

Every once in a while we watch a film for BMT that is immediately vaulted into the BMT HoF. It’s rare, but films like Getaway, Here on Earth, Ghosts of Mars, Endless Love, Battlefield Earth, Old Dogs, etc. cross so far into the absurd that we can only watch with glee. Color of Night is one of those films. From minute one this film makes no sense. It is clearly the product of a madman and how no one stopped it during filming (or at the very least before release) is a mystery that will probably never be solved (hint: it’s probably cocaine). Regardless, it exists. And thankfully so, for it is a wonder.

Legendary is what it is. I have never seen a film where every aspect is terribly done. Plot? Acting? Music? Makeup? Screenwriting? All of it top tier craziness. It really is the best. Just the best. One of the seven wonders of the BMT world.

For the game I’m going to do another Tril-oh-geez (I’m loving this game even if no one else does). Mirrors played a major role in Color of Night and it’s not the first BMT film to prominently feature mirrors. So here is the official Mirrors Tril-oh-geez:

  • Color of Night – seems like it’s used in this film to make a connection between the characters Rose and Ritchie. While Willis talks directly to Rose, the viewer sees her through a reflection over his shoulder. When Willis talks in the presence of Ritchie he is seen in a similar position over his shoulder, but in this case Willis never speaks directly to him. Perhaps a meditation on the difference in how people treat the characters based on their genders or stations in life. Perhaps Willis is blind in more ways than color. Perhaps.
  • I Know Who Killed Me – clearly the mirrors were used here to show how Lindsey Lohan’s characters are reflections of each other: the good life and the bad life, everything reversed.
  • Torque – they are used here cause it’s super rad.

I love getting different genres in the Tril-oh-geez. This isn’t the most exotic with an erotic thriller, horror thriller, and action but I still like it.

Patrick

‘Ello everyone! Color of Night? More like Color of Shite! Am. I. Right? (I sang the last part). Wow. Wowwy wow wow. Wowzers wow. These moments. The Endless Loves, the Over the Tops. These moments remind me of just how insane the 80s/early 90s were. While we tend to stick to recent bad films, sometimes old school movies need to teach us some shit, because I have opinions:

  • The erotic thriller. Once a majestic, powerful genre now relegated to movies like Obsession and the occasional Tyler Perry joint. At one point in time these movies could make serious bank. If they made sense. This one did not.
  • The soundtrack is insanity. Do I love it? Is this my favorite movie ever?! Am I going insane!!?
  • I cannot stop thinking of Color of Night. It absorbed my thoughts for days. What is wrong with the world where this could happen?!
  • Straight up Bruce Willis penis. You legit see the tip bobbing around in a pool. Why? Director, explain yourself!
  • The “twist” isn’t really a twist, but they kind of act like it is. It was very confusing because I didn’t know whether I was confused. You know?
  • Snakes in the mailbox, hot shot macho psychologists, cuckoo bananas LAPD detectives, and weird lesbian storyline. My life no longer makes sense.
  • IS THIS WHAT LOS ANGELES IS LIKE?!
  • I didn’t even talk about the all important color blindness subplot.

I don’t know. I don’t know what to think. I need a sequel. Explain what this character is doing now. Did he marry Jane March? Has everyone recovered? Are him and the police officer best friends? Do they mountain bike in crazy tight compression shorts every weekend? Does Bruce Willis still live in his recently deceased friends house and drive his car around and take on his clients as if this is normal and not highly suspect? I need to know what a 50 year old version of this character is doing. Color of Day. I’ll make it for free. I’ll pay Netflix for the privilege of making it. Jesus Louise.

Cheerios,

The Sklogs

The Gunman Recap

Patrick

‘Ello everyone! The Gunman? More like No Fun, Man!!! Unless you are super into Sean Penn’s aging strongman bod, this movie probably isn’t for you. His creepy old man face perched upon that ripped bod will haunt my dreams. Speaking of which:

  • For some reason this film is about concussions. It’s like Sean Penn was watching a documentary about the NFL and thought to himself “do you know what this movie needs … me as an assassin in Africa.” It was also really bold to also make this movie about the dangers of HGH (you just got served Sean Penn’s bod).
  • The movie could not be more muddled. Like … you know what the movie is about, but you are just hanging on by your fingertips. One trip to the bathroom and you don’t recover, you are lost for the rest of the movie.
  • The acting is also bonkers at times. Idris Elba floats in just to spout monologues about treehouses, Javier Bardem is fake drunk, and Sean Penn is just ridiculous. They really just let loose. It was a bold move, and strangely kind of works. If Javier reigned it back just a smidge it might have worked out.
  • And yet, I was mostly entertained for the duration of the film. The back third is weaker, I kind of wish they set most of the film in Congo, rather than moving around Europe. I’m surprised at just how poorly it did, seems like people really took the “Taken with Sean Penn” narrative and (unfairly) ran with it. The sheer number of moving parts and hidden subplots is actually a really interesting way to tell a story, even if it leaves you kind of floating and lost every so often.

I’m kind of digging the idea of taking a current totally unrelated issue (concussions) and cross pollinating with a movie idea (Taken). Let’s see. Current controversy: Affirmative action in American universities. Previous movie: Snake Eyes starring Nicolas Cage. The film takes place during the Superbowl (the biggest gambling day of the year) and corrupt police detective is there to oversee local law enforcement at the venue. During the course of the film it is revealed that the star quarterback (Tim Broady) of the Boston Pioneers is taking bribes to throw the game. But is the scandal all to cover an assassination attempt on the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court (played by Nic Cage) prior to his ruling on affirmative action?! The answer is yes … yeah, it was all a cover for that. I’m going to call it Moneyline.

Jamie

Wait, is Moneyline real? Like can I buy tickets for it right now?… someone tell me if this is real so I can buy tickets to it.

I’m going to keep this brief since Patrick covered the review quite nicely. I am pretty surprised that The Gunman got as bad reviews as it did. Did it have some overacting? Was it fairly confusing? Did it have a ridiculous subplot about concussions and CTE? Yes, yes, and yes. But was it all that bad? Not really. I actually kind of dug it. You see a contradiction here?

For this week’s game I’m going to do another BMTril-oh-geez. This is where I group last week’s film with two other subpar films that share a common theme of sorts to create a terrible, terrible trilogy that masochists can watch in their free time. Due to the extreme ridiculousness of the concussion subplot in The Gunman and the coincidental simultaneous release of the Will Smith vehicle Concussion (“Tell the truth!”),  I bring you the BMTril-oh-geez official Concussion trilogy:

  • The Gunman – obviously.
  • The Ladykillers  – arguably the worst Coen Brothers film to date, but it’s not the worst at having major characters with CTE. One of the band of thieves is a former football player named Lump who is pretty dim cause of all the concussions he had. Hilarious! Also funny sidenote is that J.K. Simmons’ character in the film is named Garth Pancake… meaning that with Unfinished Business it also makes two legs of the Pancake trilogy for films with characters with the last name Pancake.
  • A Dirty Shame – John Waters made this little ditty where people in a town are slowly turned into fetishistic sex addicts through a series of concussions. No characters named Pancake to be seen though.

So there you have it. A true Concussion BMTril-oh-geez of mediocrity with The Gunman, The Ladykillers, and A Dirty Shame.

Cheerios,

The Sklogs

Unfinished Business Recap

Patrick

‘Ello everyone. Triumphantly returning to the UK after triumphantly returning to the United States for TGivs, I got all into Unfinished Business (More like Unpleasant Nonsense! Am I fucking right?!). Wait wait wait, what’s that sound? Dog poo in my face two week in a row my mind is exploding!!!! Congrats BMT you ruined both legs of TGivs journey. Let’s talk about this “movie”:

  • The Bad – Vince Vaughn doing Vince Vaughn things. The movie has no plot, they just kind of meander from one place to another over roughly a week. I’m pretty sure no one knows how business works in this movie which is focused on literally the most boring business possible. They get into some serious real talk about bullying in this alleged “comedy” and then do little to address or resolve it.
  • The Worst – The fact that the movie makes you feel bad because the entire time I’m like “This Dave Franco character seems genuinely mentally challenged. Like … this goes beyond normal just making fun of a stupid person”, and then in the middle they say he actually is. He is mentally challenged. It is revealed that he actually is. At the end he meets his friends from his aided living situation he’s got. Jeez Louise Christ.
  • The Good – Hey, Nick Frost seemed okay. … … You got some pretty scenery from Germany. Dave Franco got to film on location in Germany. Um … yeah, nope, that’s it.
  • The BMT – Um … This movie is so bad as to be unpleasant to watch. BMT is a pleasant watching experience, one of wonder and ultimately of enjoyment. This … is not BMT. I’m sorry Unfinished Business … I’m sorry.

If I were to attempt to make a trilogy of unpleasant “comedies” it would be The Break-Up, The Dilemma, and Unfinished Business. Oh what do you know: they all star Vince Vaughn. I’m doing my own game this week called Vince Vaughn it! Proposed movie: Vince Vaughn is a small business owner of a commercial space flight company. Either Kevin James or Adam Sandler is the genius MIT engineer friend who is going to change the world. All I need to do is add some unnecessary real-talk serious subject matter and we’re gold. How about Kevin James is transgender and considering making a full transition, but oh no, Vince Vaughn can’t handle this and what it might do to his company. “Comedy” ensues. By which I mean a bunch of really serious discussions about Vince Vaughn not being able to handle the situation and then a sudden realization and change of heart. Let’s set it in Austin, so this happens inexplicably during like South by Southwest or something. Movie complete. I hate all of these films. That’s two dog poo straight in my face movies in a row. I think The Gunman is going to be a c-c-c-c-c-combo breaker though (mainly because I don’t think The Gunman will be interesting enough to actually get me riled up).

Jamie

BTW Patrick, your movie is like a comedy version of Aloha. Seriously. The whole film is about a commercial space flight company with all kinds of serious real talk.

I kind of went back and forth on how to deal with Unfinished Business. It’s bad. Like really bad. Patrick got to summarize our discussion and notes on the subject, so in a lot of ways the points he makes about the film cover both our opinions, and yet I can’t shrug this movie off. It’s in my head taunting me with its awfulness. So I do have to make one point (all my own): The writer of Unfinished Business has a large filmography of pretty good to good films under his belt, and yet this film may be the worst written film of the year (competing with Hitman: Agent 47). None of the scenes make any sense together. Everything is just cobbled together with no real impact, brief and inconsequential conversations occur early in the film to explain situations 30-45 minutes later making it ridiculously hard to follow why things are happening, and there is a cyberbullying subplot that is wildly out of place in a broad comedy. Makes one wonder what went so wrong? My guess? I think this was written as a drama with soft comedic undertones (a la The Weatherman), but when they went with Vince Vaughn in casting they grabbed a terrible comedy director and they punched up the script and screwed it all up. But that’s just a guess. This is somewhat, but not totally, supported by an interview he gave about the film. At one point he does mention how most scenes changed from his script during production and that it was a struggle to preserve the script to screen. But he also seems quite jolly about everything and talks about how it was fun to write a broader comedy than he is known for. So it’s still kind of a mystery. Something must have happened though. Because this was a travesty.

For my game I’m also going to do a little trilogy play. I call the game BMTril-oh-geez. It’s where I take something distinctive from the movie at hand and produce a trilogy of terrible films that prominently involve that thing/person/mineral. In this case Unfinished Business decided that a wonderful source of comedy would be aggressive male nudity in a scene involving several glory holes. Got me wondering, what other BMT films are there that involve glory holes? To start, this isn’t even the first one we’ve watched. The Sweetest Thing with Cameron Diaz also had a scene in a public restroom with a glory hole. Doing some research I also found that a terribly reviewed horror film The Unborn also had a crazy scene with a glory hole. So there we go: Unfinished Business, The Sweetest Thing, and The Unborn is the official Glory Hole BMTril-oh-geez. So when you’re looking for next week’s movie marathon with your friends you now have a glory hole three-pack to fall back on. And for all those clamoring to tell me that Scary Movie had a prominent glory hole scene, I’ll just stop you right there. The movie is too good for BMT.

Cheerios,

The Sklogs