It has become an annual tradition. On the anniversary of the start of Bad Movie Thursday we take a look back at the year in review. With a name that’s just as bad as the films it honors it is ….
Smaddies. Baddies. Smaddies. Baddies. Remember, these awards are for the worst of the best of the worst films that we watched in the last year. So they could have been made in any year as long as we watched it in 2015. We usually start off with several silly awards to give something to those films that deserve to be “honored,” but may not have come out on top in the big awards. Think of them as the Sci-Tech Oscars of the Smaddies Baddies.
The Best Book-to-Movie-to-Reboot Lenny from Multiplicity Smaddy Baddy – Endless Love – It’s rare for us to have a book-adaption-reboot on our hands where all three versions are like a big BMT ice cream sundae to dig into. It’s my… endless loooooovveeeeeeeeee.
He Just Wants to Go to Fashion Week! Planchet Smaddy Baddy – Billy Zane in The Roommate – Goes to our favorite side character of the year (named to honor James Cordon in The Three Musketeers (2011)). Hard to overshadow Cam Gigantic in this masterpiece, but Billy Zane’s creepy (and potentially totally misunderstood) professor did just that. He just wanted to go to Fashion Week.
The Sound of Thunder Special Effects Smaddy Baddy – Monkey Feet from Aeon Flux –
Nothing will actually ever top The Sound of Thunder for the disaster area that was its special effects, but we loved Monkey Feet enough to throw it a bone. Maybe Gods of Egypt can reach such great heights this year.
Mi Padre Monosklog Smaddy Baddy – Mi Cantina by Vin Diesel from The Pacifier – It’s just so beautiful. Thank you, Vinny D. I have to give a little shout out to the fact that Dungeons & Dragons somehow beat out Big Momma’s House in this category last year. Our very own Oscars-like diversity scandal. In hindsight, Big Momma’s House all day.
The Garry Mashall The Location is a Character! Smaddy Baddy – Paul Blart Mall Cop 2 for Las Vegas – Happy Madison films could probably win this every year. It’s like they’re paid to take place at these resorts or something… wait.
White Commanche I Wish We Could Have a Mulligan Smaddy Baddy – Atlas Shrugged Part III – Thank God this didn’t happen when I actually read the source material to these movies. I would have straight up refused to read that book and watch that trilogy. Would have taken me a month.
Alright, and now for the main awards. These are for the secretly good BMT film of the year, the worst of the worst BMT film of the year, the most BMT film of the year, and (new!) the top 2015 film of the year (to go head-to-head with the Razzies, natch). Each category presented the nominees that Patrick and I came up with and the final winner.
The Freddy Got Fingered (Secretly Good) Smaddy Baddy – Nominees: Bless the Child, Legends of Oz: Dorothy’s Return, Mortdecai, Endless Love (1981), The Gunman;
The Winner: Legends of Oz: Dorothy’s Return – It had a great song and did everything it needed to do for a kids film. If someone was like, “Hey, could you watch Legends of Oz with my kid while I go shopping real quick?” I would obviously refuse (I ain’t watching your kid) and then sneak home and watch Legends of Oz by myself.
The Strange Wilderness (I Hate this Fucking Movie) Smaddy Baddy – Nominees: Hitman Agent 47, Unfinished Business, Around the World in 80 Days, Be Cool, Ridiculous 6.
The Winner: Unfinished Business – Unfinished Business is the worst written film of the year. It is nonsense. The true Razzie scandal this year is that it didn’t even make the nomination ballot (!!!!!!!!!).
The (new!) Worst of 2015 Smaddy Baddy – Nominees: Hitman Agent 47, Unfinished Business, Ridiculous 6, Boy Next Door.
The Winner: Unfinished Business -Obviously, given the last award. Is there more to say? Not really. It was the worst. We hated it.
The Here on Earth Best BMT Smaddy Baddy – Nominees: The Roommate, Silent Hill 2, Color of Night.
And the Winner is ….. Silent Hill 2 starring Triangle Head – Truly a great (and not meaningless) honor. And there we go. For those of you whose eyes naturally gloss over long lists of garbage the moral of the story is: watch Silent Hill 2, Legends of Oz, and The Roommate. Avoid Atlas Shrugged Part III and Unfinished Business. Women who do karate with monkey feet are the best.