Aw hell naw, I thought we were just going on a relaxing Brazilian riverboat cruise, and now there’s a big ass snake?! There is only one way to kill it, and that’s with a quiz!
Pop Quiz Hot Shot!
1) Eric Stoltz is leading a mission to find a legendary Amazonian tribe. How many people does he take on this pleasure cruise?
2) Soon they pick up a stranded priest / snake hunter / accent consultant played by Jon Voight who, hey, just wants to stage a very tiny (you won’t even notice it) mutiny. Not everything is as it seems, Jon Voight secretly knows someone on the boat who is is working with. Who and why?
3) Jon Voight is sneaky and creepy like a snake and takes over the ship. The first stage of the mutiny is to incapacitate El Capitan Stoltz. How does he do this?
4) Jon Voight gets the boat turned around and going up the Anaconda filled tributary, and they soon reach a wall blocking their way. Naturally, as documentarians, they decide “Fuck it” and blow that shit up. What was the wall filled with though?
5) Our British film host ends up being quite the useful badass in the end. But most charmingly he gives Ice Cube a little lesson on how to drive a boat. So … how much do you remember about how to drive a boat?
1) Six. He has his driver Matteo and then a four person documentary crew (J-Lo is the director, Ice Cube is the camera operator, Owen Wilson runs sound, and his girlfriend is the producer) plus a hired host for the film. They pick up Jon Voight later.
2) Jon Voight knows Matteo because they were snake hunters together. As a matter of fact they hunted the dangerous and very profitable Anaconda. Watch out!
3) Somehow he manages to get a wasp into Stoltz’s scuba gear. Now Stoltz ain’t afraid of nothing (except catfish that swim up and into your urethra) so Voight just knows he’ll be itching to swim about like an idiot to fix the boat once it inevitably gets stuck. Works like a charm and Stoltz has the pleasure of lying on a bed and groaning for the rest of the film.
4) It was filled with snakes! Watch out, everything is filled with snakes in this film! At one point I’m pretty sure they opened a bag of potato chips and BAM there was a snake inside! (I’m pretty sure, but I might have dreamt this).
5) The two black knobs move the boat forward or back, the two red knobs make them go fast (forward) or slow (backwards). Four turns over on the steering wheel to steer. Turn off the ignition if you get in trouble.
Jamie crushed and snacked on this quiz, then regurgitated it out in front of you (wink). How did you do? Were you mega badass J-Lo smashing snakes? Or did you lie in your bed and groan a whole bunch like Eric Stoltz?