If you’ve seen Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid then I just have two words for you: mating ball. After that I have four more words:
Pop Quiz Hot Shot!
1) The research group wants that sweet no-research-needed botanical panacea, and they think they’ve got it with the super rare Blood Orchid. For how long does the Blood Orchid bloom, and how many years between blooms?
2) Give me the name of either of captain of the ship Johnny Messner’s true loves. His pet monkey. Or his super janky ship.
3) During the course of their travels they meet a cute little spider friend that might just nab them a pretty penny on the medical drug market. What is the name of the spider and what are the symptoms from it’s bite?
4) After crashing and trekking through the jungle to check out a tribe of headhunters, they discover proof (!) that the blood orchid does what they hope it will do, provide a fountain of youth to extend life. What is the proof?
5) How many people survive the mating ball to live another day in Indonesia?
Answers
1) You better get your ass to Borneo because it only blooms for six months (and you only have two weeks to go!). Not only that, but the flower only blooms every seven years! Oof, now that’s a tantalizing MacGuffin.
2) The monkey is named Kong (get it? Also, nice touch I think with the creature feature call back there as well), and the boat was called the Bloody Mary. RIP Bloody Mary, you were super janky.
3) It is the Stone Spider. Naturally, because it paralyzes the victim for two days. In reality I don’t think such a thing makes sense, paralysis like that I would assume would arrest your breathing and kill you pretty quickly but … whatever.
4) They discover a carving in the headhunter village that seems to show the anaconda eating a blood orchid. They surmise that the blood orchid has been a part of the anaconda’s diets for centuries and, since a snake never stops growing, their gigantic size is because of the blood orchid, proving it’s medical power. One guy says “hey, but what about the giant snakes in Brazil” and the scientists are all like “shut your mouth dummy, we’re going to be rich!”
5) Four. The young black scientist (who just wanted to see the Knicks. Courtside, man! Next to Spike!), the originally quite cynical corporate scientist lady, the eeeeeevil scientist’s underling with the Southern twang, and our badass hero Johnny Messner.
Did you ace the quiz like Jamie and discover the blood orchid, a botanical fountain of youth? Or did you fall into the mating ball anaconda sex orgy and get all killed and eaten by snakes?
Bad Movie Twins 