If you had to choose a vehicle to do The Cannonball Run in, what would it be? That’s right, you would choose a grey 1984 Volvo 240DL Wagon … hrrrrg, look at those boxy curves. It feels like it is shaking apart when you hit 80 mph, feels so good. Huh, what’s what? Oh yeah quiz time!
Pop Quiz Hot Shot!
1) In the cross country road trip of a lifetime, what state did the race start in, and where did it end?
2) What is the name of Dom DeLuise’s secret identity, referred to as “him” for the vast majority of this terribly terrible film.
3) Farrah Fawcett plays a kind of spacey lady who ultimately gets picked up by Reynolds and DeLuise. How did she get involved in the Cannonball Run in the first place?
4) How does Reynolds and DeLuise get around the roadblock set up by the main antagonist (who just wants to stop literal crazy people from drunk driving across America at 150 MPH, I mean … who’s the real antagonist in this film? Dean Martin is literally shit faced when he starts the race for godssake!)?
5) Who wins the race?
1) It started in beautiful Connecticut, the land of Burt Reynolds (I think that is the official motto). It naturally ended in California. Where else would it end? Plus it means you can film a bunch of it near Hollywood. Who am I kidding? The entirety of this film was filmed in California I imagine.
2) Captain Chaos! (Da da daaaaaaaaaaaaaa). I actually didn’t mind this as a joke … besides the fact that they kind of suggested Captain Chaos could just will a car to go faster. That makes no sense. An ambulance isn’t beating a sports car to anywhere.
3) She seems to be obsessed with trees or something. But this obsession leads her to get involved with an environmental group lead by A. J. Foyt, who ultimately is trying to stop the race. Down the road, needing a patient to complete their ambulance disguise, Reynolds kidnaps Fawcett from the side of the road. Later, the cops arrest Reynolds for kidnapping and assault among a litany of prior convictions (I assume) … oh wait, I just dreamed that justice was served, instead Burt Reynolds gets away scot free as usual.
4) They call up a truck driver on their radio and ask for a “lift”. They drive onto the back of the truck and hid under a canvas until they get through the roadblock. You see two or three drivers get stopped at the roadblock though, a storyline barely mentioned ever again.
5) Despite there being a staggered start (Reynolds and DeLuise are almost last to get going as well, as they were looking for a legit doctor for their disguise, they should have easily won) there is a footrace to the end. It looks like Captain Chaos will prevail, but alas, he gets waylaid helping a little doggy and the ladies (Adrienne Barbeau and Tara Buckman) ultimately prevail.
So, did you cruise to victory in your 240DL, tape deck blaring, all the ladies like “look at those boxy curves, wowza!”? Or did you choose some trash Porche and probably break down in Ohio like a goober? Volvo 240DL fo’ life!!!!!