You’re a hard-boiled detective that don’t play by no rulez. But uh oh! There is a new criminal in town and he doesn’t play by any rules … not ever space rules! Knowledge is power in this game of predator versus prey!
Pop Quiz Hot Shot!
1) This is the dangerous dystopian future of 1997 Los Angeles and there are two rival gangs duking it out for control of the streetz! What are the two gangs?
2) Before our heros can get up to the Columbian hideout though they all get totally Predatored. Meanwhile Gary Busey comes swooping in taking exactly zero guff. Who does he claim to be while yoinking jurisdiction from Danny Glover?
3) In retaliation the voodoo Jamaican gang murders the leader of the Columbian gang, but yet again everyone gets totally Predatored (except for the naked lady, noice). What do our heros discover in the penthouse of vital importance to the case?
4) In the end basically the entire gang besides Glover is killed. The exception is the lady with the rad and bad ‘tude Maria Alonso. Why wasn’t she killed?
5) Finally, Danny Glover kills a Predator and hops into their spaceship. What does the Predator family give him as a reward for being a bad motherf-er?
Answers
1) It is a cocaine snorting machine gun toting Columbian gang versus the ganja smoking voodoo spouting Jamaican gang. You haven’t seen this kind of racism since … well, I guess 1990, it really is out of this world!
2) They claim he is a fed, but it is indicated that he is actually part of the DEA. That is, of course, a lie. He’s part of the elite alien unit of the government, and he wants a frozen Predator really really badly guys.
3) It is a Predator weapon, a little spearhead thing. This is important because it is made of something that even the gas chromatography unit can’t identify (I don’t believe this, but whatever … like it is going to be made of an element), and thus Danny comes to the logical conclusion: aliens!
4) She is pregnant. Everyone knows the Predators don’t kill defenseless things. She had no weapon and was pregnant, easy call by the Predator there.
5) He gets a pirate gun. You’d think it was some significant thing but … nope, just a made up pirate gun … cool story guys.
So did you defeat the Predator and get a sweet old timey gun? Or did you get your skull and spinal column ripped out like a goober? I know Jamie definitely got the gun, because I talked to him the other day and he hadn’t been killed by a Predator.
Bad Movie Twins 