I had this very strange dream. I entered the world of Super Mario, but … like it was just a generic post-apocalyptic thing instead of being anything like the video game. I can’t remember anything else. Can you help me out?
Pop Quiz Hot Shot!
1) In the beginning of the film we are introduced to Mario Mario, Luigi Mario, and Princess Daisy who all, for whatever reason, live in real world Brooklyn. Daisy is tangled up with an eeeeeeeevil real estate developer over a construction site in Brooklyn. Why?
2) And how do the Mario Bros. get all mixed up in Daisy’s mess?
3) Dinohattan looks a lot like New York City … but filled with human dinosaurs, really dangerous, and covered in fungus. Wait … why is it covered in fungus?
4) Describe the path of the MacGuffin Meteorite shard from the instant we see it in the film.
5) What is King Koopa’s plan with the MacGuffin Meteorite?
1) The eeeeeeeeevil developer wants her gone from his construction site. You see, while digging they discovered some dinosaur bones. Daisy studies these bones at NYU. A court has given her an injunction that allows the university to dig up the bones before the development can continue. This makes the eeeeeeeevil developer do some pretty eeeeeevil (and smarmy stuff) … it’s pretty gross.
2) Luigi meets Daisy at a payphone because she is trying to get security from the university to keep the eeeeeevil developer away. Luigi asks her out, they do a double date with Mario and his girlfriend, and then Luigi walks Daisy home. They go to the dig site, and catch the eeeeeevil developer flooding the site. They go and get Mario to help them (since he’s a plumber). Yada yada yada they go to an alternate dinosaur dimension. Oh, also Mario’s girlfriend got kidnapped and taken to the other dimension, but they don’t actually realize that until later … but they would have been mixed up in it with or without Daisy so …
3) Dinohattan is covered in fungus because King Koopa de-evolved Princess Daisy’s father the king in order to take power. Throughout the film he is able to subtly help the Mario Bros. in their quest to defeat King Koopa and save Daisy.
4) In the beginning Daisy’s mother has it, and she uses it to lock away Daisy (an egg) in a little container on the steps of a church. The nuns take it and then next we see Daisy herself is wearing it as a necklace. When she gets kidnapped Luigi grabs it, but it quickly gets stolen by a little old lady, who immediately gets it stolen by Bertha. She has it for most of the movie until Mario steals it back while dancing with her at a club. Luigi and Mario toss it back and forth, but it ultimately ends up with King Koopa’s associate Lena. King Koopa though doesn’t trust Lena and has the head police officer take it from Lena and give it to him. Koopa loses it to Lena (again, Jesus), who gets killed while inserting it into the Meteorite. Finally, Luigi and Daisy recover it and prevent the two worlds from merging. The movie ends with Daisy having it.
5) Since the dino-world is dying, King Koopa wants to use the meteorite to merge their two dimensions together again (for some reason this is a way to do that …). He then will de-evolve all humans into chimps, and then rule our resource rich world as a dictator. He needs Daisy to do this … for some reason. But he gets pretty close.
Oh yeah, they really just bottled that adaptation didn’t they? Welp, so who were you? King Koopa, the eeeeevil and idiotic bad guy who just couldn’t get anything right? Or Luigi, the handsome young orphan and (somehow) the star of a Mario film …?