Let me see. What is the last thing I remember … I remember getting the shit kicked out of me by a bunch of people and then feeding another guy to an alligator … Whatever, do you know what happened in Runner Runner?
Pop Quiz Hot Shot!
1) Justin Timberlake, much like in real life, is a super genius. Why is he at Princeton, and what is he getting a degree in?
2) But soon our boy JT (super genius) is cheated while playing online poker with Ben Affleck‘s online gambling company. Where does JT find Affleck, and what is his grand plan to get his ill-betaken gains back?
3) And now JT is rolling in the dough. Problem in it turns out Affleck wants JT to do all kinds of gross / illegal stuff. Naturally, JT does all of these happily because … I guess because he’s a bad guy. Wait, I thought he was our hero? … Whatever, name the two super gross things JT does for Affleck.
4) After that things pretty swiftly go to shit. He’s being squeezed from two sides, by the FBI who want to arrest Affleck, and by Affleck himself. What are both sides using to squeeze him?
5) What was Affleck’s crime, how does JT get all of the evidence to implicate him, and how does he get him to the FBI?
1) He was a hot shot quant on Wall Street in 2007 and everything was looking up … until it wasn’t! His company goes under and so he goes to Princeton to pursue a Masters in Finance. But he soon finds himself in the world of online gambling duh-duh-duh!
2) Naturally he has to go to Costa Rica (setting alert!) to confront Affleck. And his grand plan? He writes on a piece of paper that he knows what Affleck did, and then accuses him openly in a giant party. Works though, Affleck gives him his money back and then offers him a job.
3) The first thing he does is squeeze a big online blackjack syndicate. He lures the leader onto a boat and tapes him having sex with a bunch of Costa Rican … let’s go with models. Gross. He then also bribes the local government overseer of gambling. Double gross. But he’s super smart, so I guess this is fine?
4) The FBI ends up pressing him a few times and is all like “you better get outta here bro”, but JT is all like “pshhhhhhhhhhhhhh, naw”. But then he decides they were right so he tries to leave and the FBI frames him as a drug trafficker (whoops!). Affleck on the other hand bought up JT’s father’s gambling debt (this runs in the family) and it basically going to kill him if JT doesn’t comply.
5) Affleck had been embezzling funds from his online gambling business in a giant ponzi scheme and was getting ready to bounce to Antigua. JT got all of this information via a Deus Ex Hackina from his hacker friend who also worked for Affleck. And in the end, with Gemma Arterton’s help and a super secret captain friend, JT pulled a little switcheroo and got Affleck to accidentally fly to Puerto Rico. Gottcha Affleck!
Ooooohhhhh, yeah. I’m a horrible person and I deserve every bit of the awful stuff that was coming to me. But I’m like … a good guy at heart, right?