Man I must have fallen asleep at the wheel there. One minute I was watching this movie, the next I remember a big black dog come out of nowhere and attack me! I can’t remember a thing. Can you remember what happened in the movie Black Dog?
Pop Quiz Hot Shot!
1) Jack Crews is a fambly man with a heart of gold. One problem, he’s also an ex-con without a license to do the one thing he knows in all this damned world: drive. So what exactly is Jack doing to make ends meet?
2) But before Jack can retire for good he’s got “one last job”. What is the job precisely?
3) And when he gets down to the job Crews meets the crew who’s going to help him cruise up to New Jersey. How many people are in the crew, what are their jobs, and what are each of their deep dark secrets?
4) When the job gets a bit bigger than Jack expected you might think he’d maybe slow walk it back home. One problem: he promised his girl he was going to be back in time for what? So he’s kind of stuck between a rock, and a crazy-Meatloaf place.
5) Finally, Jack gets to loot, saves the girl, smashes some baddies, and shows off a bit of dat bod to boot. What does he get in return from the very grateful FBI?
Answers
1) He’s a mechanic. One problem, he works for a complete dickbag who wants him to do a little favor for him. A tiny (barely illegal, almost legal I swear) favor, don’t even worry about it Jack, you’ll be in and out, bing bang boom.
2) He is to fly to Hot-lanta, GA, pick up a rig, and drive it back. Easy job, 15 hours tops. Somehow it will take Jack nearly two days to complete the job, but still super easy, your parole officer will barely even realize you’re gone. And once he does the FBI will be like “fuhgeddaboudit” you know what I mean?
3) He’s got his cab buddy Randy Travis. Travis doesn’t have much in the ways of dark secrets, but he sure does want to be a country singer one day, and boy howdy his songs are … fine, they are fine. We got Sonny, who is running protection for the crew, but (whoa), he’s actually an undercover FBI agent and he soon realizing he’s got a good teammate in Jack here. And finally we got Wes the weirdo friend of Sonny who is secretly the mole, alerting Meatloaf to the crew’s every move.
4) First he says he’s going to be back to practice free throws with her, I believe this is on a Wednesday afternoon. Then he promises he’s going to be back for her basketball game which she says is on Friday. It is the only way the timeline makes sense. Which means he maybe didn’t pick up his daughter from school on Tuesday, and the big showdown at the port was on Thursday night.
5) Not only does he not have to go to prison (insane, but fine, he’ll testify or whatever … by the way he probably killed like 5 people so whatever), but he also gets his house paid for and his trucking license back … why? Why does the FBI even bother with this? Because they’re nice? It’s nonsense.
Oh right, I was a bad ass ex-con with a heart of gold, and all I want to do in all of the world is to get home to see my daughter play some basketball. And guess what? I nevah let my fambly down, you can count on that.
Bad Movie Twins 