Oh boy, it happened again, I got a concussion and forgot all about this movie I watched … what’s that? I didn’t have a concussion, I just watched the incredibly bizarre film Cats? … Well, do you remember what “happened” in Cats?
Pop Quiz Hot Shot!
1) Before our hero Victoria can be delighted by the song about Jellicle Cats she needs to arrive into the world of the Jellicle Cats. How does she get there?
2) Name as many of the cats as possible. Spelling doesn’t matter. As a matter of fact names don’t matter, just like … describe as many as you can.
3) What are all of the cats competing for?
4) What is the eeeeeevil Macavity’s plan for winning the competition?
5) Who actually wins and why?
1) She is thrown from a car in a bag, abandoned into the mean streets of London. Lucky for her she just might be Jellicle, we’ll have to wait and see about that.
2) Jesus. So there is Victoria, then there is the main cat guys Munkustrap and Magical Mr. Mistoffelees. The evil Macavity the Mystery Cat (Idris Elba). The wild Rum Tum Tugger (Jason Derulo). Old Deuteronomy (Judi Dench). The fat Bustopher Jones and Jennyanydots the Gumbie Cat (James Cordon and Rebel Wilson). Grizabella the Glamour Cat (Jennifer Hudson) and Bombalurina (Taylor Swift). Gus the Theater Cat (Ian McKellen). Mungojerrie, Rumpelteazer, and the tap dancing railway cat Skimbleshanks are the other three more minor characters. The rest I couldn’t pull out of a lineup, but check Wikipedia to see just how many points you got!
3) They are competing for Old Deuteronomy’s affections. She will choose the cat to rise up to the Heaviside Layer to be reborn into the ideal ideal cut life. I believe this is supposed to be a metaphor about street cats being adopted into a fancy house, so they are “reborn” into a new fancy life.
4) He’s going to kidnap all of the competition and trap them on a barge on the River Thames. Since he’ll be the only competitor standing (with a little help from Bombalurina who gives him a true banger of a song) he believes Old Deuteronomy will have to choose him. Little does he know that friendship and love are far more powerful than any magic he might possess.
5) Obviously it is Grizabella. Once she belts out memories, about how she was once happy and now can barely remember what happiness feels like, it was ovah babyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. We laughed, we cried, Grizabella was the belle of the ball. The End.
Ah right … yeah, now I remember … cats and dancing a stuff. That makes sense. It makes sense that this thing exists and I exchanged money to watch it.