So here’s the thing. I’m Sherlock Holmes, but like a bumbling version of him (you know?). So I was stumbling about for clues and naturally smashed my head with a cricket bat and got a concussion. I’ve forgotten everything! Can you remember what happened in Holmes & Watson?
Pop Quiz Hot Shot!
1) The beginning of the film is a flashback to Sherlock’s childhood (fun …) where it is revealed why Sherlock is so smart. Why?
2) In the beginning of the film Sherlock is very very late for a very important date! What is the date? And name two reasons he ends up late.
3) After a dead body turns up in Holmes’ celebratory cake (along with a threat to the Queen’s life), what do Holmes and Watson determine happened to him?
4) How does Sherlock come to suspect his loyal companion Watson of betraying him, sending him to the gallows for murder?
5) Who is the real culprit and why are they attempting to kill the Queen?
1) He was ruthlessly bullied in school culminating in him getting tricking into kissing a literal dockey’s asshole. He used his wits to immediately get all of the children expelled. Since he was the only student he was exclusively taught by all of the teachers, and because he had discarded all emotions he could focus on intellect alone. A lethal combo … for criminals that is!
2) The date is the trial of Moriarty, Holmes’ arch nemesis! Holmes is the only available witness and if he doesn’t show up Moriarty will go free. He’s late because, first, he can’t decide on what hat to wear. He’s also late because he receives a package from “Moriarty” containing a lethal mosquito, which he does successful kill while also releasing a swarm of killer bees into the London streetz.
3) After an autopsy turns up indeterminate, Holmes insists that the man was poisoned, and by his tattoo no less. Going into the mean streetz of London, Holmes and Watson stumble into a boxing club following a few street toughs who have a lot of tattoos. There they find Steve Coogan, the notorious one-armed tattoo artist, who admits that yes, he poisoned the man. Coogan is then killed by “Moriarty” (who he was working with) who, just as Holmes anticipated, is actually a double. Moriarty lives!
4) The whole thing with the dead man ends up being a dead end because both the tattoo artist and the Moriarty double die. Without a lead Holmes goes to his brother Mycroft. They mindmeld, and Mycroft astutely points out the potential assassin must be close to Holmes. Without an obvious alternative Holmes determines that this must mean Watson betrayed him.
5) In the end it turned out Holmes’ housekeeper was secretly the daughter of Moriarty. In order to reinstate her father’s notoriety (and possibly earn his love) she decides she needs to make Holmes look the fool. And what better way than killing the Queen right under his nose! Diabolical!
Ahhhh right. I was a bumbling fool, but also I was a bumbling fool like a fox!! I solved all of the mysteries, saved the Queen, and was a hero to all. Nice.