The last thing I remember I was trapped in a boat after being kidnapped from my rich-kid school. Otherwise because of all of the drugs I don’t remember anything … wait these two films are really rather similar, just a lot of drugs and kidnapping. Do you remember what happened in Along Came a Spider?
Pop Quiz Hot Shot!
1) At the beginning of the film Alex Cross’s partner is killed. How does she die?
2) Now distraught, Alex Cross is semi-retired and painting boats. Meanwhile a Senator’s daughter gets kidnapped. How does Alex Cross get involved in the case?
3) So Alex Cross goes to the scene of the crime and immediately figures out all about the sneaky sneaky kidnapper. First he locates a picture which opens an internet portal to a live feed. What was the picture and how does he subsequently figure out where the feed is located IRL.
4) In the end Alex Cross figures out our kidnapper isn’t really the kidnapper anymore because a second set of kidnappers have kidnapped the Senator’s daughter off his boat. Whoops! How does Alex Cross deduce this fact?
5) Finally it is revealed that the secret service agent Alex Cross has been working with is the culprit. What, vaguely, was their plan?
1) She’s undercover trying to take down a rapist. The rapist decides he wants a little sex on the go which the detective is obviously not keen on. During the struggle the rapist finds the earpiece, freaks out, and ends up causing the detective to shoot him. The car crashes over a dam and kills her.
2) The kidnapper is obsessed with kidnapping and being the best at kidnapping. Part of that is beating the best in his kidnapping contests. And that means he needs the best kidnapping detective. And that is Alex Cross.
3) The picture is a picture of Charles Lindbergh because the kidnapper is obsessed with that kidnapping and being better than that kidnapper. Once he enters the internet portal he manages to find a prescription bottle reflected in a mirror which points to the kidnappers house. Unfortunately the kidnapper is on a boat living the yacht-life, so that isn’t very useful
4) There is a whole sequence here that rips off Dirty Harry (at the very least) involving Alex Cross running around with $10 million in diamonds. He eventually throws it off a train where the kidnapper retrieves it. But later, when Cross confronts the kidnapper, he asked about the $12 million in diamonds. Since the kidnapper looked confused and didn’t correct Cross as to the amount, he knew that the diamonds must have been retrieved by a second set of kidnappers.
5) So they knew about the kidnapper prior to him taking action. Thinking several steps ahead the two secret service agents allowed the kidnapper to get away (and allowed a teacher to get killed … dicks), and then posed a fake ransom which they themselves retrieved. They then waited until the girl was left alone, and kidnapped her themselves. The final bit was supposed to be to allow the kidnapper to get caught … I guess. There is a giant plot hole here where it makes no sense, so forgive me.
Ah right, that … guy. He had a name right? It wasn’t that he was just Creepy Kidnapper Obsessed with Charles Lindbergh right? I honestly can’t remember … Sonji? Sanjay? Something like that.