Oh man, so as I’ve done several times before, I joined the police force (such is my life) and hit the mean streets ready to bust some heads and solve crimes. Well, wouldn’t you know, but a bunch of baddies pop out and bopped me right on the head and now I can’t remember a thing. Do you remember what happened in Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol?
Pop Quiz Hot Shot!
1) Why does the Commandant want to create Citizens on Patrol (COP)?
2) Randomly David Spade is in this film. What do the bad guy cops want to arrest him for and what is he sentenced for?
3) Bobcat Goldthwait does not like Captain Harris. So what does he replace his deodorant with?
4) What event screws up the launch of COP?
5) And what event saves COP from certain disaster?
Bonus Question: As we all know The Gutes left the Police Academy series after this film, but do you know why his character leaves the LAPD (or at least stops returning the Commandant’s phone calls)?
Answers
1) He wants everyone to be friends, and the issue, as he sees it, is that cops can’t be everywhere at once to solve all crime, so citizens think of cops as enemies. This program is intended to allow for better police work and for everyone to be friends!
2) For just being a public nuisance and looking ultra rad skateboarding around Los Angeles natch. Destroying a mall, wrecking a police car, real teenage hijinx. And they are sentenced to the COP program obviously.
3) Mace. This results in genuine chemical burns to Harris’s armpits. Everyone laughs and laughs and laughs about it. What a goober that Harris is.
4) Well, Mrs. Feldman discovered a quite obvious fencing operation in an wide open warehouse. We calls in the COPs and they attack the criminals, but uh oh!!! Turns out the only person they capture is an undercover cop. Whoops! That is going to be an issue.
5) Well, there is a jailbreak! Of like … ninjas and general bad guys. Uh oh! Better get the police academy squad to do … martial arts or whatever. And then it is time to get those last few bad guys at the big hot air balloon race!
Bonus Answer: Initially I was going to say he moved to Miami, but then he would have been in the fifth film so that can’t be it. And then I was going to suggest he was actually a Russian spy who was called back to the motherland, but again, he would have been in the seventh movie then. And then I had it, he obviously became the ultimate beach cop in Hawaii. In the little known (original) reboot of the television show, The Gutes returned as Mahoney to prowl the mean streets (and bodacious bods) of the North Shore. With a revolving door of devastatingly beautiful buxom co-leads, the show was called “a travesty” and “literally the worst thing I’ve ever seen”. Mondays at 9PM on USA: Characters Welcome!
Fine, that’s my pitch for the second reboot of Hawaii 5-0. And yes, I’ll be playing The Gutes playing Mahoney in the show. Someone has to do it!
Bad Movie Twins 